Fathwa, - They do not know if the witness to ..

Question
I hope you can answer this question regarding Nikkah. If a couple had
the marriage contract performed in a masjid with the wali present and
one witness was the Imam of the mosque and the second witness was
provided by the mosque and there were no other witnesses present and
the Imam introduced the second witness as our respected trustee of the
mosque. The couple didn't ask if he prayed but assumed he did because
of his position as trustee but he didn't have beard. Should we doubt
he prayed ? and is he a valid witness and is the nikkah valid? )There
is nothing to suggest he didn't pray just doubts in the mind (.
Jazakallah hu Khair
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that
Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
In principle, a Muslim is innocent until proven otherwise, so it is
not permissible to think evil of a Muslim without evidence. Allaah
says )what means(: }O you who have believed, avoid much ]negative[
assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin.{]Quran 49:12[
It is even more recommended to think good of the Muslim if he is
introduced by the Imaam of the Masjid as a witness. Moreover, the fact
that he is a member of the Board of Trustees of the Masjid repels to a
great extent the doubt that he does not pray.
Therefore, if the marriage contract took place in the presence of the
guardian and two Muslim witnesses and they witnessed the marriage
contract, then this marriage is valid and it leads to its effects. For
more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 86384.
Hence, such doubt should be ignored and this married couple should
continue their marital life and base it on affection and kindness.
Allaah Knows best.

Fathwa, - This statement does not necessarily..

Question
Asallam U alaikum, Could you tell me if husband said statement in
anger 'get out of here' without intention of divorce, however because
couple were unsure of ruling wife said say 'take me back' and husband
said 'i take u back ' on the wife's request however he didn't have any
intention of divorce to begin with, is this still not counted as one
divorce as there was no intention of divorce in the first place? Or
does his saying 'I take you back ' make it count as one?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad,
is His Slave and Messenger.
If the husband says to his wife 'get out of here', this does not make
divorce take place unless he intends to initiate a divorce. Kindly,
refer to the Fataawa 90531and 98703about the metaphors of divorce.
As for the statement of that husband to his wife 'I take you back',
believing that divorce had taken place, this does not entail the
occurrence of divorce and it has no effect at all.
Allaah Knows best.

Idle talk

Praise be to Allaah The Almighty Who created man in a balanced form,
inspired and adorned him with the beautifying light of faith, taught
him eloquence and therewith, made him a pioneer and superior being,
providing him with a tongue to articulate what is in his heart.
Truly, the tongue, from among the greatest blessings of Allaah The
Almighty, is one of His most sophisticated and unique creations of all
organs in the body. Although small in size, its impact is paramount.
Faith and disbelief, which stem from obedience and disobedience,
respectively, can not be known except through the testimony of this
very organ.
Moreover, those who keep their tongues unchecked, fall prey to the
devil's influence, who will cause them to say evil things and lead
them to an edge of a bank that is about to collapse, forcing them to
fall down. Truly, no one escapes the evil of the tongue except who
restricts it to the constraints of Sharee'ah, using it only to utter
what is of benefit to him or her in this life and the Hereafter, while
preventing it from uttering anything that may bring any harm, sooner
or later.
That is why the Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said, as
narrated by Mu'aath, may Allaah be pleased with him:"Could anything
cast people in the Hellfire face down"– in another version,"on their
noses"–"except the harvests of their tongues?"The phrase"harvests of
their tongues"refers to the recompense and punishment for uttering
what is prohibited. Each one of us plants good and evil acts with our
words and actions; and then, we reap them on the Day of Resurrection.
Whoever plants a good word or deed will harvest dignity, and whoever
does the opposite only reaps regret. Thus, as the Hadeeth apparently
indicates, the most common cause of people entering Hell is the sinful
utterance of their tongues.
That includesShirk)associating partners with Allaah(, the gravest sin
in the sight of Allaah The Almighty, as well as what is connected to
it: ignorantly speaking of Allaah The Almighty. It also encompasses
false testimony, doing magic, slander, and other major and minor sins
like lying, backbiting and talebearing. In fact, all sinful deeds are
mostly associated with utterances that support them.
That is why many Hadeeths refer to the virtue of silence. On one
occasion, Sufyaan ibn 'Abdullaah Ath-Thaqafi, may Allaah be pleased
with him, asked:"O Messenger of Allaah, what is the most serious thing
you fear for me?"The Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, held his
tongue and said,"This."Similarly, another Companion, 'Uqbah ibn
'Aamir, may Allaah be pleased with him, says:"I said, 'O Messenger of
Allaah, how can I obtain salvation?' The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi
wa sallam, replied,'Control your tongue ]from idle talk[.'"
Under the chapter entitledEemaan)faith( inSaheeh Al-Bukhaari, it is
stated that the Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"A Muslim
is the one who avoids harming other Muslims with his tongue and
hand."He,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, also said:"Whoever believes in
Allaah The Almighty and the Last Day should utter good words or remain
silent."Perhaps one of his more eloquent and concise sayings, this not
only bears a command to say what is good, but provides the only
alternative as keeping quiet. For, indeed, as Allaah The Almighty Says
)what means(:}Man does not utter any word except that with him is an
observer prepared ]to record[.{]Quran 50:18[
In fact, the stakes are higher; Sahl ibn Sa'd, may Allaah be pleased
with him, narrates that the Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
said:"He who guarantees for me what is between his jaws and what is
between his thighs, I guarantee him Paradise."This means that the one
who uses his or her tongue only regarding relevant matters and
restrains it from what does not concern him or her, and guards his or
her private parts against illicit acts, is promised Paradise by the
Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam. Ibn Battaal, may Allaah have
mercy upon him, said,"This Hadeeth indicates that the greatest trial
for man in life is ]the responsibility of[ his tongue and private
parts. Therefore, whoever is protected from their evil is protected
from the gravest evil."
Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, related that the
Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, warned:"One might utter a word
thinking it to be trivial and sinks ]because of it[ in Hell further
than the distance of the east"; the wording reported by Muslim, may
Allaah have mercy upon him, states:"farther than the distance between
the east and west." Ibn 'Abdul-Barr, may Allaah have mercy upon him,
said, that an example of such a word"is what a person utters before an
unjust ruler ]in order to please him[."
In another version of the Hadeeth, the Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, mentioned that it may be"a word that he does not understand",
meaning he is unaware of whether it is good or bad, as explained by
Shaykh Al-'Izz ibn 'Abdus-Salaam, who added,"Hence, it is prohibited
for a Muslim to speak any ]such[ word."Commenting on this Hadeeth,
An-Nawawi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,"]It[ encourages a man
to watch his tongue. If a person wants to say something, he should
think of, and fully grasp, what it is before he utters a word. If he
finds that there is benefit in it, he should say it, otherwise, he
should hold his tongue."
'Abdullaah Ibn Mas'ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, would
reportedly say:"By Allaah, nothing needs prolonged confinement more
than my tongue."He also used to say,"O my tongue, say good words and
you will succeed, and speak no evil and you will be secure; otherwise,
you will regret."Another Companion, Abu Ad-Dardaa', may Allaah be
pleased with him, said,"Protect your ears from your mouth; indeed, you
have two ears and one mouth, in order to hear more than you talk."
Al-Hasan Al-Basri, may Allaah have mercy upon him, also said,"They
used to say that the tongue of the believer is behind his heart; when
he wants to say something, he contemplates it with his heart and then
utters it. Whereas, the tongue of the hypocrite is in front of his
heart; when he intends to say anything, he utters it before
deliberating it in his heart."He, may Allaah have mercy upon him, went
a step further, saying,"He who does not watch his tongue does not
understand his religion."
If you ask why the virtue of silence is so great, it is because the
tongue, with hardly any effort may lead to evil, lies, backbiting,
talebearing, ostentation, hypocrisy, obscenity, dispute, self-praise,
indulgence in falsehood, controversy, distortion, harming people and a
violation of their privacy and honor. Moreover, it has a charm that
affects the heart, and is motivated by a person's temperament and is
influenced by Satan. Those who indulge in idle talk can barely control
their tongues so as to utter what they like and restrain it from what
is not pleasing to them. It is one of the ambiguous facts that danger
lies in idle talk, whereas safety, in silence, thus its enormous
virtue.
Furthermore, keeping quiet strengthens a person's zeal, maintains his
or her gravity, helps him or her focus on meditation, remembrance of
Allaah The Almighty and worship, and keeps him or her safe from the
ill-effects of idle talk in the worldly life and its punishment in the
Hereafter. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Man does not utter
any word except that with him is an observer prepared ]to
record[.{]Quran 18:50[
Speech can be divided into four categories:
1-Purely harmful – one should remain silent instead of indulging in such talk.
2-That which includes both harm and benefit – such speech must also be
avoided, because the elimination of evil takes precedence over the
realization of benefit.
3-That which has neither harm nor benefit – this is idle talk and
keeping oneself busy with it is a waste of time, which, in itself, is
nothing short of a great loss.
4-Purely beneficial – after three-quarters of all categories of talk
have been dismissed, it is only this that one must indulge in;
however, a threat looms here, as well, since such talk may be subtly
tainted with ostentation and self-praise, which is a grave risk.
In the coming articles, we will thoroughly detail some of the errors
of the tongue that have become widespread among people.

A Society of Victims

The nine-year-old girl turned into a young mother, and another girl,
who is under eleven years of age, became a clever housewife!
The two children, by means of fate, went through a unique experience.
The first had to care for her sister, aged one year and a few months,
due to the absence of her mother. After the working mother had tried
to take her young girl to the workplace, she found herself faced with
two options: either to do her work, or to care for her young child.
She also found that temperature changes were harmful to the girl who
was to leave the thick duvets for the severe coldness of winter, or
tolerate the scorching heat of summer. The mother's workmates
suggested that she leave the young girl with her elder sister. She
tried it, and it worked. The elder sister gained reasonable experience
in caring for the baby as well as changing her clothes and playing
with her sister.
As for the other girl, her mother had to travel for family reasons.
Therefore, she left her with her younger brothers and sisters giving
her the broad tasks of managing the household affairs during her
absence. She would communicate with her regularly to make sure that
everything was in order. The young child took her mother's place
willingly and in a manner that would impress anyone who knew how old
she was.
On the other hand, there are mothers who ask their girls to do
something once. If the girls carry out her orders, then it is fine.
However, if they refrain and defer, the mother finds it easier to do
it herself, thus saving herself the trouble of repetition and
deferring. Hence, the girls realize this weak point in their mother,
the girls take advantage of it; later on in life, the mother becomes
exasperated with the carelessness of her daughters and their
incompetence to shoulder responsibility. The mother does not realize
that her indecisive attitude and lack of insistence on her daughter
doing what she is asked to do, and her not encouraging a positive
attitude toward her chores are the causes of the girls' current
suffering. A girl like this grows up, gets married and becomes
responsible for an entire household. She stumbles, fails, rebels and
the disagreements with her husband are aggravated. She gets divorced
and the mother is filled with regret when she realizes the reason, but
by then it is too late.
We have two situations: children who are overburdened, and others who
lead a luxurious life and grumble for having to raise their feet off
the floor so that the mother can clean.
These two extreme situations are both far from the moderation of
Islam. We are not required to deny our children the rights of their
childhood and the requirements of their age, and burden them with
responsibilities that we ourselves sometimes find overburdening. Also,
it is illogical to pamper them to the extent of looseness, and find it
easier that we do what we asked them to do just because they are too
slack to do it.
We need to understand how to raise our children to shoulder
responsibilities, to understand the characteristics of each age group
and the extent of responsibilities that the children can bear. We need
to be more daring in delegating some of our chores to our little ones,
while we monitor their work from afar, overlook their casual mistakes,
encourage their small achievements and not make them feel any
inability or negligence.
We need to be more patient with our children's slackening response
when we ask them to do something and find ourselves compelled to
repeat our request more than once. We have to ask them in different
ways and with different expressions on our faces, like an encouraging
smile, a blaming glance, or a frown.
We also need to suppress our anger when our children provoke us by not
taking our requests seriously and not implementing them immediately.
We should overlook their annoying conduct that indicates their
inability to shoulder responsibility and to magnify any conduct, no
matter how simple, that reflects a spirit of initiative and
achievement.
Those who fail in their marriage because of their inability to assume
responsibility are the victims of an "irresponsible" upbringing, while
those who overburden themselves because of the negligence of those
around them are also victims. Is it logical to expect a good Islamic
society to emerge while we are part of a state that is witness to the
fact that many of its people are victims?