Idle talk

Praise be to Allaah The Almighty Who created man in a balanced form,
inspired and adorned him with the beautifying light of faith, taught
him eloquence and therewith, made him a pioneer and superior being,
providing him with a tongue to articulate what is in his heart.
Truly, the tongue, from among the greatest blessings of Allaah The
Almighty, is one of His most sophisticated and unique creations of all
organs in the body. Although small in size, its impact is paramount.
Faith and disbelief, which stem from obedience and disobedience,
respectively, can not be known except through the testimony of this
very organ.
Moreover, those who keep their tongues unchecked, fall prey to the
devil's influence, who will cause them to say evil things and lead
them to an edge of a bank that is about to collapse, forcing them to
fall down. Truly, no one escapes the evil of the tongue except who
restricts it to the constraints of Sharee'ah, using it only to utter
what is of benefit to him or her in this life and the Hereafter, while
preventing it from uttering anything that may bring any harm, sooner
or later.
That is why the Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said, as
narrated by Mu'aath, may Allaah be pleased with him:"Could anything
cast people in the Hellfire face down"– in another version,"on their
noses"–"except the harvests of their tongues?"The phrase"harvests of
their tongues"refers to the recompense and punishment for uttering
what is prohibited. Each one of us plants good and evil acts with our
words and actions; and then, we reap them on the Day of Resurrection.
Whoever plants a good word or deed will harvest dignity, and whoever
does the opposite only reaps regret. Thus, as the Hadeeth apparently
indicates, the most common cause of people entering Hell is the sinful
utterance of their tongues.
That includesShirk)associating partners with Allaah(, the gravest sin
in the sight of Allaah The Almighty, as well as what is connected to
it: ignorantly speaking of Allaah The Almighty. It also encompasses
false testimony, doing magic, slander, and other major and minor sins
like lying, backbiting and talebearing. In fact, all sinful deeds are
mostly associated with utterances that support them.
That is why many Hadeeths refer to the virtue of silence. On one
occasion, Sufyaan ibn 'Abdullaah Ath-Thaqafi, may Allaah be pleased
with him, asked:"O Messenger of Allaah, what is the most serious thing
you fear for me?"The Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, held his
tongue and said,"This."Similarly, another Companion, 'Uqbah ibn
'Aamir, may Allaah be pleased with him, says:"I said, 'O Messenger of
Allaah, how can I obtain salvation?' The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi
wa sallam, replied,'Control your tongue ]from idle talk[.'"
Under the chapter entitledEemaan)faith( inSaheeh Al-Bukhaari, it is
stated that the Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"A Muslim
is the one who avoids harming other Muslims with his tongue and
hand."He,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, also said:"Whoever believes in
Allaah The Almighty and the Last Day should utter good words or remain
silent."Perhaps one of his more eloquent and concise sayings, this not
only bears a command to say what is good, but provides the only
alternative as keeping quiet. For, indeed, as Allaah The Almighty Says
)what means(:}Man does not utter any word except that with him is an
observer prepared ]to record[.{]Quran 50:18[
In fact, the stakes are higher; Sahl ibn Sa'd, may Allaah be pleased
with him, narrates that the Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
said:"He who guarantees for me what is between his jaws and what is
between his thighs, I guarantee him Paradise."This means that the one
who uses his or her tongue only regarding relevant matters and
restrains it from what does not concern him or her, and guards his or
her private parts against illicit acts, is promised Paradise by the
Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam. Ibn Battaal, may Allaah have
mercy upon him, said,"This Hadeeth indicates that the greatest trial
for man in life is ]the responsibility of[ his tongue and private
parts. Therefore, whoever is protected from their evil is protected
from the gravest evil."
Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, related that the
Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, warned:"One might utter a word
thinking it to be trivial and sinks ]because of it[ in Hell further
than the distance of the east"; the wording reported by Muslim, may
Allaah have mercy upon him, states:"farther than the distance between
the east and west." Ibn 'Abdul-Barr, may Allaah have mercy upon him,
said, that an example of such a word"is what a person utters before an
unjust ruler ]in order to please him[."
In another version of the Hadeeth, the Prophet,sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam, mentioned that it may be"a word that he does not understand",
meaning he is unaware of whether it is good or bad, as explained by
Shaykh Al-'Izz ibn 'Abdus-Salaam, who added,"Hence, it is prohibited
for a Muslim to speak any ]such[ word."Commenting on this Hadeeth,
An-Nawawi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,"]It[ encourages a man
to watch his tongue. If a person wants to say something, he should
think of, and fully grasp, what it is before he utters a word. If he
finds that there is benefit in it, he should say it, otherwise, he
should hold his tongue."
'Abdullaah Ibn Mas'ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, would
reportedly say:"By Allaah, nothing needs prolonged confinement more
than my tongue."He also used to say,"O my tongue, say good words and
you will succeed, and speak no evil and you will be secure; otherwise,
you will regret."Another Companion, Abu Ad-Dardaa', may Allaah be
pleased with him, said,"Protect your ears from your mouth; indeed, you
have two ears and one mouth, in order to hear more than you talk."
Al-Hasan Al-Basri, may Allaah have mercy upon him, also said,"They
used to say that the tongue of the believer is behind his heart; when
he wants to say something, he contemplates it with his heart and then
utters it. Whereas, the tongue of the hypocrite is in front of his
heart; when he intends to say anything, he utters it before
deliberating it in his heart."He, may Allaah have mercy upon him, went
a step further, saying,"He who does not watch his tongue does not
understand his religion."
If you ask why the virtue of silence is so great, it is because the
tongue, with hardly any effort may lead to evil, lies, backbiting,
talebearing, ostentation, hypocrisy, obscenity, dispute, self-praise,
indulgence in falsehood, controversy, distortion, harming people and a
violation of their privacy and honor. Moreover, it has a charm that
affects the heart, and is motivated by a person's temperament and is
influenced by Satan. Those who indulge in idle talk can barely control
their tongues so as to utter what they like and restrain it from what
is not pleasing to them. It is one of the ambiguous facts that danger
lies in idle talk, whereas safety, in silence, thus its enormous
virtue.
Furthermore, keeping quiet strengthens a person's zeal, maintains his
or her gravity, helps him or her focus on meditation, remembrance of
Allaah The Almighty and worship, and keeps him or her safe from the
ill-effects of idle talk in the worldly life and its punishment in the
Hereafter. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Man does not utter
any word except that with him is an observer prepared ]to
record[.{]Quran 18:50[
Speech can be divided into four categories:
1-Purely harmful – one should remain silent instead of indulging in such talk.
2-That which includes both harm and benefit – such speech must also be
avoided, because the elimination of evil takes precedence over the
realization of benefit.
3-That which has neither harm nor benefit – this is idle talk and
keeping oneself busy with it is a waste of time, which, in itself, is
nothing short of a great loss.
4-Purely beneficial – after three-quarters of all categories of talk
have been dismissed, it is only this that one must indulge in;
however, a threat looms here, as well, since such talk may be subtly
tainted with ostentation and self-praise, which is a grave risk.
In the coming articles, we will thoroughly detail some of the errors
of the tongue that have become widespread among people.

A Society of Victims

The nine-year-old girl turned into a young mother, and another girl,
who is under eleven years of age, became a clever housewife!
The two children, by means of fate, went through a unique experience.
The first had to care for her sister, aged one year and a few months,
due to the absence of her mother. After the working mother had tried
to take her young girl to the workplace, she found herself faced with
two options: either to do her work, or to care for her young child.
She also found that temperature changes were harmful to the girl who
was to leave the thick duvets for the severe coldness of winter, or
tolerate the scorching heat of summer. The mother's workmates
suggested that she leave the young girl with her elder sister. She
tried it, and it worked. The elder sister gained reasonable experience
in caring for the baby as well as changing her clothes and playing
with her sister.
As for the other girl, her mother had to travel for family reasons.
Therefore, she left her with her younger brothers and sisters giving
her the broad tasks of managing the household affairs during her
absence. She would communicate with her regularly to make sure that
everything was in order. The young child took her mother's place
willingly and in a manner that would impress anyone who knew how old
she was.
On the other hand, there are mothers who ask their girls to do
something once. If the girls carry out her orders, then it is fine.
However, if they refrain and defer, the mother finds it easier to do
it herself, thus saving herself the trouble of repetition and
deferring. Hence, the girls realize this weak point in their mother,
the girls take advantage of it; later on in life, the mother becomes
exasperated with the carelessness of her daughters and their
incompetence to shoulder responsibility. The mother does not realize
that her indecisive attitude and lack of insistence on her daughter
doing what she is asked to do, and her not encouraging a positive
attitude toward her chores are the causes of the girls' current
suffering. A girl like this grows up, gets married and becomes
responsible for an entire household. She stumbles, fails, rebels and
the disagreements with her husband are aggravated. She gets divorced
and the mother is filled with regret when she realizes the reason, but
by then it is too late.
We have two situations: children who are overburdened, and others who
lead a luxurious life and grumble for having to raise their feet off
the floor so that the mother can clean.
These two extreme situations are both far from the moderation of
Islam. We are not required to deny our children the rights of their
childhood and the requirements of their age, and burden them with
responsibilities that we ourselves sometimes find overburdening. Also,
it is illogical to pamper them to the extent of looseness, and find it
easier that we do what we asked them to do just because they are too
slack to do it.
We need to understand how to raise our children to shoulder
responsibilities, to understand the characteristics of each age group
and the extent of responsibilities that the children can bear. We need
to be more daring in delegating some of our chores to our little ones,
while we monitor their work from afar, overlook their casual mistakes,
encourage their small achievements and not make them feel any
inability or negligence.
We need to be more patient with our children's slackening response
when we ask them to do something and find ourselves compelled to
repeat our request more than once. We have to ask them in different
ways and with different expressions on our faces, like an encouraging
smile, a blaming glance, or a frown.
We also need to suppress our anger when our children provoke us by not
taking our requests seriously and not implementing them immediately.
We should overlook their annoying conduct that indicates their
inability to shoulder responsibility and to magnify any conduct, no
matter how simple, that reflects a spirit of initiative and
achievement.
Those who fail in their marriage because of their inability to assume
responsibility are the victims of an "irresponsible" upbringing, while
those who overburden themselves because of the negligence of those
around them are also victims. Is it logical to expect a good Islamic
society to emerge while we are part of a state that is witness to the
fact that many of its people are victims?

The distorted image of Muslim women

Since the height of the feminist movement in the late 70's there has
been a magnifying glass placed over the status of Muslim women.
Unfortunately, the magnifying glass that has been used is an unusual
one.
Unusual in the sense that it is very selective about which items it
will magnify; other items it will distort to such a degree that they
will no longer look familiar. I remember once reading an "in depth"
article about the lives of Muslim women. This article "explained" that
at any time a man can divorce his wife by simply stating "I divorce
you, I divorce you, I divorce you".
This article can lead anyone ignorant of the Islamic ruling regarding
divorce to believe that in less than five seconds the woman is left
with no husband and is left to care for herself )and possibly
children( by any means necessary.
The question that immediately popped up in my mind was, "Did the
author innocently write that out of sincere ignorance or was it
another of the many attempts to degrade the religion of Islam and its
followers )Muslims(?" It may be out of paranoia, but I tend to believe
it was the latter of the two.
The truth of the matter is that Islam has the most humane and most
just system of divorce that exists. Firstly, many options are taken
and tried before coming to the decision of divorce. If the man and
woman decide that they can no longer live together successfully as a
husband and wife, the husband )in most cases, not always( pronounces
the divorce by saying "I divorce you". At this point the waiting
period begins.
The waiting period lasts for three menstrual cycles to assure the
woman is not pregnant. This period allows the couple time to think
about what they are doing and if this is what they really want to do.
There are no lawyers involved to antagonize an already delicate
situation.
In the case that it is realized, that the woman is pregnant, the
waiting period lasts the entire time she is pregnant. During the
waiting period )whether the woman is pregnant or not( the man is
obligated to provide food, clothing and shelter to the woman as he did
before the divorce pronouncement.
If the couple carries the divorce through to the birth of the child
and the woman suckles the baby, the man is obligated to feed and
clothe both his ex-wife for the time the woman suckles )the maximum
being two years(. After his weaning, the child will be provided for by
the father until he/she is no longer in need of support.
It is quite ironic that in such an "advanced society" as America,
there are divorce cases in which women are being forced to pay alimony
to their ex-husbands. Can this and many other things we know about the
American system of divorce compare to the Islamic system of divorce?
I have also read stories wherein it is stated that women are forced to
marry men without their consent. This in no way resembles the marriage
system in Islam. In Islam the woman marries the man of her choice. She
may even marry someone that her mother and/or father objects to.
The point is that it is the woman who makes the final decision as to
whom she will marry. Once the man and the woman decide that they are
interested in one another for marriage, a dowry is decided upon. A
dowry is not a bride's price but it is a gift from the groom to the
bride.
They agree upon a gift that is affordable by the groom. In the time of
the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam , often things such as
livestock and money were given. This is a wise decision in the event
that a woman becomes divorced or widowed, she has some financial
security to fall back on even if it is for a limited amount of time.
Once the man and woman are married, the man is required to clothe,
feed, shelter and educate her )or allow her to be educated( in the
same manner as he does himself.
The last distorted image that I will cover is that of the Muslim
women's dress. The western-influenced media portrays our dress to be
outdated and oppressive. Needless to say, I differ with these
adjectives. Our dress code does not hinder us from doing anything
productive in our lives.
Muslim women maintain a variety of jobs, none of which are devalued
nor hampered due to their dress code. And as for the timing of Muslim
women's dress during these contemporary times, it seems most
appropriate due to decreasing morals in the world today.
For those who say that Islamic dress is outdated, they speak from
great ignorance. The decreasing morality and trials of this time makes
Hijab even more in need. More than ever before sex crimes are rampant.
Although this society tells women they can wear what they want to
wear, anytime a rape occurs the woman is the one put on trial and one
of the first questions is, "What were you wearing?" This concept seems
as though it is a set up directed against the so-called contemporary
woman. Also there is a direct correlation between the respect a man
has for a woman and the amount of her body she displays flauntingly.
In conclusion, I hope this article helps to clear up some
distorted/misunderstood aspects of Islam and women. Women in Islam are
respected and held in high regard. We will never find success and/or
solutions to our problems until we realize that Allaah knows best and
that this disbelieving society will ruin itself.

Dought & clear, - Is man’s fate pre-destined or does he have freedom of will?.

Is our fate completely pre-destined? Some say we have a choice of
which path to choose but what you will find at the end of the path has
been chosen for you by Allah. I have also read that qadar was perhaps
created by Jahm b. Safwan, not Allah.
Where can I find the information in the Quran and if there is a set
destiny how much of it is chosen by God? Is there really a set day on
which I will have birth and another for earthly death, for whom I will
marry?
What if I did meet the man I am supposed to marry but I somehow choose
the wrong path (so I may believe) only to realize I did wrong. Will he
come in my path again or have I altered my destiny so that my
punishment may be that I can not have this person in my life?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Belief in al-qadar (the divine will and decree) is one of the pillars
of faith, because the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said, when he answered Jibreel's question about faith: "(It
means) believing in Allaah, His angels, His Books, His Messengers and
the Last Day, and to believe in al-qadar (the divine decree) both good
and bad."
What is meant by al-qadar is that Allaah has decreed all things from
eternity and knows that they will happen at times that are known to
Him, and in specific ways, and that He has written that and willed it,
and they happen according to what He has decreed. [al-Qada'
wa'l-Qadarby Dr 'Abd al-Rahmaan al-Mahmoud, p. 39].
Belief in al-qadar is based on four things:
1 - Knowledge, i.e., that Allaah knows what His creation will do, by
virtue of His eternal knowledge.
2 - Writing, i.e., that Allaah has written the destiny of all
creatures in al-Lawh al-Mahfooz.
3 - Will, i.e., that what Allaah wills happens and what He does not
will does not happen. There is no movement in the heavens or on earth
but it happens by His will.
4 - Creation and formation, i.e., that Allaah is the Creator of all
things, including the actions of His slaves. They do their actions in
a real sense, and He is the Creator of them and of their actions.
Whoever believes in these four believes in al-qadar.
The Qur'aan affirms these things in numerous verses, such as the
verses in which He says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none
knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in
the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in
the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in
a Clear Record"
[al-An'aam 6:59]
"No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but it is inscribed
in the Book of Decrees (Al-Lawh Al-Mahfooz) before We bring it into
existence. Verily, that is easy for Allaah"
[al-Hadeed 57:22]
"And you cannot will unless (it be) that Allaah willsthe Lord of the
'Aalameen (mankind, jinn and all that exists)"
[al-Takweer 81:29]
"Verily, We have created all things with Qadar (Divine Preordainments
of all things before their creation as written in the Book of
DecreesAl-Lawh Al-Mahfooz)"
[al-Qamar 54:49]
Muslim (2653) narrated that 'Abd-Allaah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'Aas said: I
heard the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) say: "Allaah wrote down the decrees of creation fifty thousand
years before He created the heavens and the earth." He said: "And His
Throne was upon the water."
Hence it should be clear to you that the view that al-qadar was
invented by al-Jahm ibn Safwaan is a view that has no sound basis.
Al-qadar was not created, rather creation comes under the heading of
belief in al-qadar. Al-Jahm went to extremes in affirming the divine
will and decree, and claimed that people are compelled to do what they
do and have no choice. This is a false view.
The belief of Ahl al-Sunnah wa'l-Jamaa'ah is that a person has freedom
of will, and hence he will be rewarded or punished. But his will is
subject to the will of Allaah, and nothing can take place in the
universe that is not willed by Allaah.
What some people say, that we have the choice to follow whatever path
we want but at the end of this path you will find what Allaah has
decreed for you, is a correct view. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"Verily, We showed him the way, whether he be grateful or ungrateful"
[al-Insaan 76:3]
"And shown him the two ways (good and evil)?"
[al-Balad 90:10]
"And say: "The truth is from your Lord." Then whosoever wills, let him
believe; and whosoever wills, let him disbelieve"
[al-Kahf 18:29]
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said,
explaining the view of Ahl al-Sunnah with regard to man's deeds:
People act in a real sense, and Allaah is the Creator of their
actions. A person may be a believer or a kaafir, righteous or immoral,
he may pray and fast. People have control over their actions, and they
have their own will, and Allaah is the Creator of their control and
will, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"To whomsoever among you who wills to walk straight.
And you cannot will unless (it be) that Allaah willsthe Lord of the
'Aalameen (mankind, jinn and all that exists)"
[al-Takweer 81:28-29]
al-Waasitiyyah ma'a Sharh Harraas, p. 65.
Marriage is one of the things that Allaah has decreed. The person whom
you will marry is known to Allaah: He knows who he is, when he was
born, where and when he will die, how he will be towards you, and
other details. All of that is known to Allaah and He has written it in
al-Lawh al-Mahfooz (the Book of Decrees), and it will inevitably come
to pass as Allaah has decreed.
If Allaah has decreed that you will marry one person, but you choose
someone else, then no matter how long it takes, you will marry that
person. But your marriage to someone else is also decreed, because
there is nothing that is not decreed by Allaah. It may be decreed for
a woman to marry So and so the son of So and so, and he comes to
propose marriage but she refuses him, and marries someone else, then
he (the second man) dies or divorces her, then she accepts the first
one. All of that is decreed, and it is decreed for her to marry So and
so the son of So and so after initially refusing him and after some
experience or trials etc.
It may be decreed for a woman that a righteous man will propose
marriage to her, but she will refuse him and he will never come back
to her, and she will marry and live with someone else who is more or
less righteous, according what Allaah has decreed.
Because man does not know what is decreed for him, what he must do is
to adhere to sharee'ah and abide by its commands and prohibitions, and
to seek the help of Allaah and pray to Him for guidance (istikhaarah)
concerning all his affairs, whilst implementing the means, one of the
most important of which is consulting sincere people who have relevant
experience.
If a righteous man proposes marriage to a woman, she should pray to
Allaah for guidance (istikhaarah) and agree to marry him. If things
then go smoothly, this is an indication that what is good for her is
to marry him.
In conclusion, man should study the sharee'ah of Allaah and follow the
commands of Allaah even if he feels reluctant, and avoid what Allaah
has forbidden even if he is attached to it. All goodness is to be
found in obeying sharee'ah. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"Jihaad(holy fighting in Allaah's Cause) is ordained for you (Muslims)
though you dislike it, and it may be that you dislike a thing which is
good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allaah
knows but you do not know"
[al-Baqarah 2:216]
He should not look at al-qadar as an excuse to ignore commands and do
forbidden things, rather he should look at it in a way that will make
him content with whatever painful experiences happen to him.
And Allaah knows best.