Fathwa, - Is it ok to take food for a non-mahram?

Question:
Assalam alaikum wa rahmatullah. I got to know a brother and we became
good friends. When I realized that I didn't want to marry him, a
sister advised me that if we continued being friends then that would
be inappropriate. So I told him and we agreed that we shouldn't really
talk anymore. While we were still talking I used to take extra food
from my home for him because he goes to Medical school near my home
and he doesn't have any halal food options. I thought this was a good
alternative to throwing the extra food out and my brother usually went
with me. My question is : Is it ok to continue taking him food as long
as my brother comes along or should I stop since I'm not considering
him for marriage anymore? JazakAllah khair. May Allah reward you for
your good work Ameen.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Absolutely Most Gracious, the Absolutely
Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah.
May Allah bless and give peace to our Beloved Messenger.
Dear Sister,
I apologize for the delay in getting to your question.
I hope this message finds you in good health and spirits.
Generally speaking, it is a praiseworthy trait to share our food with others.
In particular, both the Qur'an and the Sunna emphasize our obligation
to share our food with those less fortunate in the form of charity and
expiation.
In the collection of Imam Bukhari, we find many reports of the
Prophet's generosity, Allah bless him and give him peace. For example:
Narrated Abu Musa Al-Ash'ari:
The Prophet said, "Give food to the hungry, pay a visit to the sick
and release (set free) the one in captivity (by paying his ransom)."
[Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 65, Number 286]
On the other hand, you may want to consider the wisdom of continually
giving food to the brother. Firstly, he's a medical student, so I
assume he is capable of providing for himself. It might be better to
give the food to someone less fortunate. Secondly, if he is still
interested in marrying you, or was interested, then it may stir up
feelings if you keep taking him food.
If you truly feel that the brother is in need of this food, then it is
advisable that you send your brother with the food and avoid going
personally. The adab of interaction between unrelated males and
females dictates that interaction should only be to the extent of the
need.
I pray this answers your question. May Allah Most High reward you for
your generosity.
And Allah knows best.

Days of Hajj, - Virtues of Hajj

Abu Hurayrah radhiyallahu anhu reports that Rasoolullah sallallahu
alayhi wasallam said "Whoever performs Hajj for the sake of pleasing
Allah and therein utters no word of evil, nor commits any evil deed,
shall return from it as free from sin as the day on which his mother
gave birth to him."
When a child is ushered into this world, it enters this life without
any blemish and is free from any form of sin. Now, when the Hajj has
been performed with utmost sincerity for Allah's sake, the pilgrim
returns to that sinless state.
When we speak of forgiveness of sins as in the Hadeeth mentioned
above, we actually refer to minor sins. However, the contents of this
Hadeeth have been noted in such numerous Ahaadeeth that some learned
Ulaamaa are of the opinion that minor as well as major sins are
included in this pardon from Allah.
In this Hadeeth under discussion, three things are mentioned. In the
first place we read that Hajj should be for Allah's sake, and that
there should be no worldly object and no ulterior motive prompting
this holy deed, neither should it be for the show of things, nor for
personal fame. Many people proceed to Makkahfor the sake of personal
honour and show. Such people have indeed wasted whatever they have
spent by way of wealth, health and energy. For them there shall be no
reward. We admit that when a person has performed his Hajj even for
the sake of showing others, his obligation has been carried out. But
how foolish it is indeed that a person should deny himself such great
virtue and reward (in the form of Allah's great pardon) merely because
of his desire to be noted among some people.
Rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam once said, "Near the time of
Qiyaamah the rich ones from amongst my Ummah will perform Hajj for the
sake of travel and holiday; (like having a holiday in Hijaaz instead
of one in London or Paris). The middle class will perform Hajj for
commercial purposes, thereby transporting goods from here to there
while bringing commercial goods from there to here. The Ulamaa will
perform Hajj for the sake of show and fame; (to outdo and surpass
Maulana so and so, or any rival shaykh who had performed Hajj a
certain number of times). The poor will perform Hajj for the purpose
of begging." (Kanzul Ummaal)
The Ulamaa have stated that should a person perform a "Hajje Badal" on
behalf of someone else for a specific price, so that he derives
worldly benefit from such a Hajj, he too is included among those who
perform Hajj for commercial purposes.
In another Hadeeth we read "that the kings and rulers will perform
Hajj for the sake of having pleasurable holidays; the wealthy ones for
the sake of business; the poor ones for the sake of begging; while the
learned ones will come for Hajj for the sake of show." (It'haaf)
In the first of these two Traditions, we read that the wealthy ones
will perform Hajj for the sake of having a tour and a holiday. In the
second Hadeeth we read again that they will do so for the sake of
business. In actual fact there is no contradiction here even though it
apparently seems so. In the former case, those mentioned as wealthy
ones are actually those very rich ones who in the second Hadeeth are
called sultaans or rulers. In actual fact they are slightly lower that
the rulers. For this reason they are also called the middle class.
Once Umar radhiyallahu anhu was standing between Mount Safaa and
Marwah. A group of people came along, alighted from their camels and
proceeded to perform tawaaf around Ka'bah. They then came for the
sa'ee between Safaa and Marwah. Umar radhiyallahu anhu inquired from
them as to who they were. They replied that they were from Iraq. When
Umar radhiyallahu anhu inquired as to whether they perhaps had any
other intention, e.g. to claim an inheritance, to reclaim a debt to
them, or for any other business purpose. They replied: "No". Then Umar
radhiyallahu anhu said: "In that case restart your deeds (like people
who have done no evil deeds)".
What Umar radhiyallahu anhu implied was that having come to the Holy
House solely for Allah's sake, their previous evil deeds were
forgiven. They can now start anew. The second point that becomes clear
from the Hadeeth under discussion is that no evil word shall be
spoken. The Ulamaa have explained that the word "rafath" (evil speech)
includes every single form of words which are unseemly, nonsensical
and unnecessary to such an extent that even the mention of sexual
relations with one's wife is also included. To indicate or insinuate
such actions with hand signs or the eyes, should be refrained from.
All such actions and others which stir passions and lust are
condemned.
The third point towards which attention is drawn is "fusooq", which
here signifies every single form of disobedience to Allah's will. One
should especially avoid any form of argument and dispute. In one
Hadeeth our Rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam has said: "The
beauty of Hajj is attained by speaking amicably with others and to
feed them." To argue with fellow Hujjaaj and to fight with them is the
opposite of amicable speech. Hence it is the duty of a Haajji not to
criticise his fellow Hujjaaj, to meet everyone with love, humility and
humbleness, and to deal with them in a most friendly manner. Some
Ulamaa have explained that to meet others in a friendly manner does
not only mean that one should not hurt or trouble one's fellow men. It
means that one should (without retaliation) bear and pardon the hurt
that comes from their side to you.
The word safar (a journey) means in actual fact "to expose", "to make
clear". The Ulamaa informs us that a journey is called safar in Arabic
because on a journey one's character is exposed and becomes clear.
Once Umar radhiyallahu anhu asked a man whether he knew a certain
person to which the man said that he knew him. Then Umar radhiyallahu
anhu inquired, whether the man had been on a journey with that person,
to which the man said that he had not. Then Umar radhiyallahu anhu
said: "You do not know him." In one Hadeeth it is stated that a person
praised another in the presence of Umar radhiyallahu anhu. Umar
radhiyallahu anhu asked: "Did you travel with him?" He replied: "I did
not travel with him." Umar radhiyallahu anhu asked: "Did you have any
dealings with him ?" He answered: "No, I had no dealings with him."
Umar radhiyallahu anhu then said: "You do not know that person."
(It'haaf).
There can be no doubt about it that only after having been with a
person in similar cases can one truly know a person's character and
his reactions to situations. On a journey there is always a certain
amount of inconvenience which inevitably leads to arguments and it is
for this reason that the Qur'aan especially mentions: "And let there
be no arguments in Hajj."

Days of Hajj, - Ihram

Ihrâm literally means to make something harâm upon oneself. By
adopting ihrâm (donning the two sheets, making niyat and reciting the
talbiya, certain things which were halâl (allowed) now become harâm
(not allowed) upon that person. Thus, we can say that ihrâm is a state
(condition) which a person has subjected himself to and he can reverse
this state only if particular rites are performed.
Furthermore, the two sheets a Haji or Mu'tamir wears is also called
ihrâm because it reflects ones intention and status.
Once a person adopts an ihrâm, it must not be ended abrubtly without
completing the intended haj or umra. This applies even if a person has
committed an act which will render his ihrâm fâsid.
However;
*.if a muhrim was unable to make wuqûf of Arafah, he should then
perform the acts of umra and terminate such an ihrâm.
*.if a muhrim is prevented from performing haj or umra, than such a
muhrim can end the state of ihrâm by offering a sacrifice within the
boundaries of the haram.
*.It is wâjib to perform the Qadha of any ihrâm terminated without
performing the rites of the intended hajjor Umra.
CONDITIONS OF IHRÂM:
*.To be a Muslim.
*.To form an intention and to recite the talbiya or any other zikr
that is an acceptable substitute for the talbiya.
WÂJIBÂT OF IHRÂM:
*.To adopt ihrâm from the miqât.
*.To stay away from that which is prohibited in ihrâm.
SUNAN OF IHRÂM:
*.To perform ghusl or wudhu.
*.To apply itr before making an intention for the Ihrâm of Haj or Umrah.
*.To use two sheets as the dress for ihrâm.
*.To perform two rakâts salâh as sunnat of ihrâm.
*.To recite the talbiya as reported in the hadith .
*.To recite it loudly.
*.To recite it thrice.

Days of Hajj, - After Hajj

How fortunate are these souls who are blessed with the following words
from Rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam:
"Whoever performs Hajj for the Pleasure of Allahand therein utters no
word of evil, nor commits any evil deed, shall return from it (free
from sin) as the day on which his mother gave birth to him."
(Bukhaari, Muslim)
"Verily there shall be no reward for a Mabroor Hajj except Jannah."
(Bukhaari, Muslim)
It is hoped that all the pilgrims were sincere in their intentions and
had traveled thousands of miles only to secure the Pleasure of Allah
by fulfilling the obligation laid down upon them. May Allah the
Almighty grant all the pilgrims acceptance and grant them opportunity
again and again to visit the Sacred bud. Aameen.
Nevertheless, we wish to draw the attention of the pilgrims towards
certain points which are necessary and of utmost importance to observe
and for which many pilgrims are seen neglectful of their significance.
1, the sincerity of intention should remain even after the performance
of Hajj. There should be no pomp or show. One should not wish to be
called or recognized as a Haajee.
Many people adopt the habit of talking frequently about their journey
in order that people may come to know of their Hajj. They talk about
the expenses incurred in the way of Allah, their charityamongst the
poor and needy, their devotion and worship, their assisting the weak
and old, etc.; and all is mentioned only with the intention of gaining
fame. This is a deceit from Shaytaan who ruins the ibaadat without the
person even knowing. It is therefore of great importance that the
pilgrim does not talk about his Hajj without necessity as it may lead
to 'Riyaa' (show, insincerity). However, if necessity arises and one
must talk about his Hajj then he is at liberty to do so. But, he must
not indulge in this type of conversation unnecessarily.
2, it is noted through experience, that many pilgrims return with only
the bad side of the journey and make it a habit of talking about
nothing except the hardships they have encountered during Hajj. The
pilgrims should strictly refrain from this. On the contrary they
should talk about the greatness of the sacred places, the spiritual
gains, the enjoyment in devotions of Haramayn – Umrah, Tawaaf, Salaam
on the Sacred Grave, Salaat in Masjid-ul-Haraam and Masjid-un-Nabawi
etc. If one looks at his journey of Hajj carefully he will find that
the good things far outweighs the bad. Every second spent in these
sacred places is incomparable with anything in the world.
The journey of Hajj is a long journey; one has to travel by air, pass
the immigrations, go through the customs, encounter people who speak
foreign languages, etc. In these circumstances, difficulties are
certain to arise. when we travel in our country do we always travel
with comfort and ease? Do we never encounter difficulty? Do we not
find ourselves held up in traffic for hours on a Motorway? Considering
the fact that 2 – 3 million pilgrims perform the rituals of Hajj at
one time, in one place and that they all come from different countries
and backgrounds and that many of them have never before used or seen
the facilities available to them. We think the difficulties
encountered are insignificant. Moreover, the pilgrims are rewarded
abundantly by Allah Ta'aala upon every difficulty encountered in their
journey whereas tile same is not tile case whilst we are on another
journey.
Those people who engage in these types of conversation become the
cause of discouragement to others who have not yet had the opportunity
to perform Hajj. These unfortunate pilgrims fall into the category …
and who stop (men) from the way of Allah, and from the Sacred Masjid,
… mentioned in Surah Hajj in the Qur'aan. They should take heed that
if people are discouraged by their conversation and postpone their
Hajj then those who have discouraged them will be equally responsible.
3, the sign of a 'Mabroor Hajj' or an 'accepted Hajj' is that upon
one's return, his life changes from worst to good. He becomes totally
punctual in fulfilling the commands of Allah Ta'aala. His love and
inclination towards the Hereafter increases and love for the worldly
pleasures decline. Therefore, it is essential that the pilgrim is
watchful over his actions and should try his utmost to instill in
himself good characters and refrain from all types of evil. He should
try his best to fulfill the obligations laid down by Allah and avoid
all the things forbidden by Him.