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Saturday, September 28, 2013

Obstacles to Faith

• Why do some people prefer to live as if they are unaware of
religion even though they know that they need to believe?
• What are the obstacles that prevent people from having sincere faith?
Allah created man with a nature suitable to faith. Our Lord revealed
this fact in one verse of the Quran:
"So set your face firmly towards the Religion, as a pure natural
believer, Allah's natural pattern on which He made mankind. There
is no changing Allah's creation. That is the true Religion – but
most people do not know it – (Surat ar-Rum, 30)
Some people deny this fact revealed in the Qur'an and condemn
themselves to a difficult life. There are some reasons that these
people have preferred a difficult life instead of faith, which is
eminently suitable to their creation and would bring great strength
to them morally.
• Arrogance
The sense of pride, meaning arrogance, in some people prevents them
from living the true religion because these people made themselves
believe in the righteousness and perfection of their ideas, believes
and life styles. These people who are too clever by half never want
to accept the existence of a more truthful idea or faith. Even such
a thought would bother them. As Almighty Allah reveals in the
verse, " When he is told to have fear of Allah, he is seized by
pride which drives him to wrongdoing. Hell will be enough for him!
What an evil resting- place! " (Surat al-Baqara, 206) what lead these
people to denial or prevents them believing is this "pride" meaning
arrogance.
When invited to living by the morality of the Qur'an, these people
deny it because submitting to true religion would mean that they
have had a superstitious faith until now. It is a great disaster
for these people to realize that they have followed the wrong path
for years, they have chosen the wrong people as leaders or to
realize everything they have written, read and understood until now
has been a great misconception. Not wishing to go through this
disaster, they do not want to accept the destruction of their ideas
even if they are proven wrong because their arrogance would not
allow them to. Their pride "leads them to sin" as revealed in the
verse.
However what they need to do after they realize the Qur'an is the
sole truth is to immediately accept that they are on the right
path, listen to their conscience, repent and start a completely new
life. This is the attitude that is easiest and would please Almighty
Allah. The opposite would mean a troublesome life in this world and
the hereafter. Almighty Allah reveals the dark spirit of those in
denial in the verse " And they repudiated them wrongly and
haughtily, in spite of their own certainty about them. See the
final fate of the corrupters. " (Neml Suresi, 14). Their arrogance
keeps these people off the true path and causes great damage to
them.
• Not Knowing the Qur'an
For a majority of people, the Qur'an is a book, which simply stays in
one corner of the room without being touched and which they believe
that will protect them from evil even though they have never read
it. (The Qur'an is beyond that). These people are unaware that the
Qur'an, which is an illuminator and guidance, would protect them
from Hell and bring them the Garden if they follow and practice the
commandments and prohibitions of Almighty Allah. Therefore, they
prefer to learn the religion from their grandparents or ancestors
instead of learning it from the Qur'an, which is the true source.
However, Almighty Allah reveals in one verse that some people
abandoned reading the Quran as such:
"The Messenger says, 'My Lord, my people treat this Qur'an as
something to be ignored.'" (Surat al-Furqan, 30)
In one of his hadiths, our Prophet (saas) explained that the Qur'an is
a guidance that leads to salvation as follows:
"He who puts the Qur'an first, the Qur'an will take him to the
Garden. He who leaves it behind, it will takes him to Hell."
(G.Ahmed Ziyaüddin, Ramuz Al Hadith, volüme 1, Gonca Publishing,
Istanbul, 1997, 227/9)
A majority of people try to live a religion that is full of the
ignorance brought by not having read the Qur'an, traditions,
mistaken knowledge and wrong applications of the past. The rules,
prohibitions and moral values of this religion are different than
of those of the true religion. The most dangerous consequence of
this psuedo-religion, which brought about many rules that are not
in line with the revelations of Almighty Allah and the sunnah of
our Prophet (saas), is that it causes a bias against true religion
among people. So this psuedo-religion, which is full of complicated
rules that are difficult to apply, lead people astray from the
moral values of the Qur'an.
Almighty Allah reveals this truth with the verse, " Is it other than
the religion of Allah that you desire ?..." (Surah Al Imran, 83) .
In another verse it is revealed that these people also do not abide
by this new religion they forged:
"...We put compassion and mercy in the hearts of those who
followed him. They invented monasticism – We did not prescribe it
for them – …" (Surat Hadid , 27)
However, the religion commanded by Almighty Allah is very easy; it is
neither complicated nor difficult to apply. People are created to
live the true religion Almighty Allah has chosen for them. In the
Qur'an, the behaviors Almighty Allah likes and dislikes, things that
are forbidden and that which are legal are explained very clearly.
Therefore, openness of the conscience and mind, submission to
destiny and living the true religion as would please our Lord by
submitting to Almighty Allah is quite easy. Our Lord reveals this
truth in one verse of the Qur'an:
"So set your face firmly towards the Religion, as a pure natural
believer, Allah's natural pattern on which He made mankind. There
is no changing Allah's creation. That is the true Religion – but
most people do not know it" (Surat ar-Rum, 30)
The morality of the Qur'an provides people with a lifestyle that
encompasses happiness, comfort and real freedom. This lifestyle
frees the person of the direction of "false idols" that morally
enslaves the person and gets him or her closer to to Allah, Who has
infinite wisdom and beauty, Who controls all things and Who is
compassionate and just.
• The Psychology of Going With the Crowd:
The reason that prevents some people living the moral values of the
Qur'an is the psychology of going with the crowd. These people feel
that they need to go along with the lifestyles of the majority even
though their conscience does not approve and they consider this as
an obligation to be a "normal" member of society. With this
psychology, they cannot comprehend the true meaning of religion and
they make themselves believe that there are some rules, which all
people in the world have to follow –other than the rules of Allah-
and people have to abide by these rules. However in the Qur'an
Almighty Allah reveals that the lifestyle most people choose, their
false rules and sanctions do not direct people to the truth; on the
contrary going with the crowd is a danger that misguides the person:
" If you obeyed most of those on earth, they would misguide you
from Allah's Way. They follow nothing but conjecture. They are only
guessing.'" (Al-An'am , 116)
Therefore the fact that most people have chosen a lifestyle opposed
to the true religion, that they are derisive and cruel towards
other and even rebellious against their governments, that they
commit sins without even thinking, must not affect other people. The
fact that such people are in the majority is no excuse for the
mistakes committed by individuals. This is because a non-Quranic
life style, which is adopted with the psychology of going with the
crowd, instead of the life that is clearly defined in the Qur'an
and would please Almighty Allah, would open the doors to Hell let
alone providing any gains for people.
• Not Being Able To Understand That Freedom Is Only Through True Religion:
Some people are mistaken in thinking that living without following
Allah's commands and in the direction of the wants and desires of
their inner selves is freedom. However, a person could only be truly
free if he serves Allah, submits to Him and is completely saved
from serving other beings or values, because true freedom is not
only physical but in the soul. This is the totality of feelings of
openness, comfort, trust and peace that Almighty Allah inspires to a
person's soul and heart. However, Almighty Allah emphasizes this
freedom, which only believers could have, in one verse:
" ... in the remembrance of Allah can the heart find peace.' (Surat
Ar-Ra'd , 28)
Our Propet (saas) called people to the most reputable and beautiful
way, Allah's way, and strived to be guidance for people's salvation
in this world and the hereafter. In this hadith, our Master (saas)
clarified this fact explicitly: "No doubt that the most beautiful
word is the Book of Allah. The most beautiful way is the way of
Mohammad."
(Sahih al-Bukhari, I'tisam 2, Ebed 70; Kutub Al-Sitta, Interpreted by
Prof. Dr. Ibrahim Canan, volume 2, Akçağ Publications, Ankara,
p.338)
• The Logic of "I Will Do It in the Future":
People who could not truly grasp the necessity of the moral values
of the Qur'an think that they believe in Almighty Allah and the
Qur'an but they will perform their prayers at a later point. Behind
this utterly mistaken thought, they think that if they live
according to the moral values of the religion, they will not be able
to enjoy simple things in this world, and they ignore the fact that
death could come any moment and that they do not completely
believe in the hereafter. However all these thoughts are because
these people are unaware of true religion because Almighty Allah
promises believers who live by the true religion both this world and
the hereafter with the verse, " Say: 'Who has forbidden the fine
clothing Allah has produced for His slaves and the good kinds of
provision?' Say: 'On the Day of Rising such things will be
exclusively for those who had faith during their life in the
present .' In this way We make the Signs clear for people who know
." (Surat al-A'raf , 32) and warns people about the day of judgment
by reminding them that death is very close to everyone whether
young, old or child with the verse, "Every self will taste death..."
(Surah Al Imran, 185) . The hereafter is more real than this world,
as revealed in many verses of the Qur'an, because it is eternal. No
doubt, the excuses of these people who postpone living according to
the moral values of religion with the logic of "I will do it in the
future" are all invalid. Almighty Allah warns His servants in the
fact of this truth as such:
"The Day when the excuses of the wrongdoers will not help them.The
curse will be on them and they will have the most evil Home." (Surah
Ghafir, 52)
Satan's Suggestions Prevent Living the True Religion
Satan is what prevents people from living the true religion. Satan
stealthily approaches people without being hasty. He slowly gives
small suggestions to prevent people from living by the morality of
the Qur'an and in the long run keeps them away from true religion.
However, people can only have a healthy mind and soul by living the
true religion because living the true religion saves people from
worldly bonds. It makes the person responsible only to Allah and
commandments in His True Book. This is a great ease for people.
Almighty Allah reveals the easiness of the religion of Islam in many
verses of the Qur'an. For example, He reveals as " We will ease you
to the Easy Way ." (Surat al-A'la, 8) and heralds Muslims the He
will ensure peace in great ease and Allah opens the path of His
servants and helps them reach His true path. He holds the Qur'an as
guidance and helps people come out of their dark lives. In one verse
Almighty Allah heralds believers who follow Him unconditionally as
such:
"Allah is the Protector of those who have faith. He brings them out
of the darkness into the light...." (Surat al-Baqara, 257)

The selective nature of the nerve cells

• What is the resting potential of the neurons and how is it preserved?
• What is action potential and how are the signals transmitted?
The nerve cells, which are called the neurons, unlike other cells,
have axons and dendrites. The dendrites consist of many short
extensions and look like the roots of the cell. These extensions
receive signals from other neurons and the recipient cells and
convey it to the body of the cell. Axons, on the other hand, are
thin structures that arise from the cell body. One axon arises from
the cell body and they help carry the messages to the brain. These
neurons make a huge network of communication, all together.
Every cell membrane has an electrical charge and every neuron is
like a tiny biologic battery ready to discharge itself. And each
neuron is like a mini, biological battery ready to discharge its
energy. The ions are electric-charged molecules inside and outside
the nerve cells. This creates a difference in the voltage
throughout the cell membrane. In order for the the neurons to send
signals, minus 50 milivolt (one millivolt is one in one thousandth of
a volt) is needed at an average. 1 The signal is transmitted
through the axon. After every signal, potassium ions are exchanged
through the cell membrane. The neuron has to be recharged after
every signal. To do that, the neuron gets back the ions to reach
its potential value.
One neuron takes onethousandth of a second to send a signal. This
makes it possible to send a maximum of 1000 signals a second,
however generally only 300-400 signals are sent in one second. The
nerve cells have varying lengths in people 2 and the speed of
transmission is around 100-300 meters a second. 3
Prof. Peter Suckling, a neuroscientist at the Downstate Medicine
Center, explains his awe at the cell membrane:
"This thin cell memberane preserves the electric voltage more
efficiently than any other insulating material. This is a very high
insulating power. It has to be strong and at the same time, it is
very thin." 4
The fact that the nerve cells can signal each other through the
electricity produced in the cell membrane, the fact that they can
send messages and ensure that the body functions continue, is
something to be pondered upon. Furthermore, these electrical
signals find the right address and make sense to the recipient cell.
Every cell knows what the signal means and acts accordingly. This
is a miraculous incident that has to be thought about very
comprehensively. If it wasn't for this flawless system between the
cells, no living thing could survive. Then how did this system that
displays an amazing intelligence and engineering come about?
Surely, it is impossible to say that unconscious piles of atoms and
molecules came together to build the cells and led to this
amazingly engineered system between the cells. The existence of
such a conscious system proves us the existence of creation in the
living things. This incredible micro structure that left scientists
amazed, belongs to our Lord, the Creator of Everything:
"Is He who creates like him who does not create? So will you not
pay heed?" (An-Nahl, 17)
Neurons at rest
A nerve cell is at rest, when it is not communicating a signal.
However, this doesn't mean that the neuron is completely immobile.
It has to be ready to transmit signals that could be received from
the neighbors at any moment. A neuron that is at rest has to
polarized. This means that the liquid inside has to be negatively
charged compared to one outside. One nerve cell has an electric
potential of around 70 milivolts across the cell membrane. This is
called the membrane potential or the resting potential. Although
this might seem like a small amount, it means that it produces a
voltage that is equal to 1/20 of the energy in the battery of a
small flashlight and creates a potential for the electricity
production throughout the axon membrane.
Outside the axon, there are sodium and (Na+) chloride (Cl-) ions,
while inside, there are charged proteins and potassium (K+) ions.
The electrical imbalance between outside and inside of the cell,
creates the resting potential throughout the membrane. This
imbalance created by the charged ions, is obtained through the cell
membrane being semipermeable for different ions. Even if the
sodium, potassium and chlorine ions pass through the cell membrane,
the entrance of big molecules creating an electric potential, is
restricted.
However, semipermeability is not the only solution, as the
potassium ions inside the cell (K+) are always higher in number than
the sodium ions (Na+), while the sodium ions outside the cell
membrane (Na+) are always more than the potassium ions (K+). In
order to ensure the necessary ion balance, the intensity levels in
the nerve cell, has to be reverted.
The cell does this using a kind of ion pump. The sodium-potassium
pump is a big protein molecule that builds a channel in the cell
membrane. This pump gets its energy from the ATP (Adenosine-
5'-triphosphate: the cellular energy molecule that living things
directly use) and after sending the sodium (Na+) ions out, accepts
the potassium (K+) ions inside. Thus, it preserves the right ion
ratio inside and outside the cell. In every square micrometer of the
cell membrane, there are some 100–200 sodium-potassium pumps and
each of them sends out 200 sodium ions while accepting 130 potassium
ions inside.
Action potential and transmission of the signal
When a neuron is prompted by another neuron or the conditions, the
signal starts and right after this, the signal moves along the axon
and makes the cell membrane potential to be reverted. As there are
thousands of protein channels or gates on the neuron membrane
allowing the passage of the ions. These gates are usually closed.
When there is a signal, the sodium channels are opened and the
positive-charged sodium ions flow inside. This way, the inside of the
cell membrane has more positive charge and the resting potential is
reverted, which increases the cell membrane potential up to +50
milivolt. The reverting of these charges is called the 'action
potential'. During the action potential, the potassium gates are
opened and the positive charged potassium ions flow outside. This
re-balances the resting potential and the inside of the neuron
becomes negative charged while outside becomes positive charged.
A single electric signal triggers all this process. Therefore, we
can say that the transmission of the signals triggers a domino
effect. As each domino falls, the next one falls. After the signal
is sent, the dominos stand back and get ready for the next action
potential.
The molecular traffic between the nerve cells continues on a
constant basis. It is the ions and some proteins that tell this
traffic to move or to stop. It is surely impossible for unconscious
moelecules to build this amazing nervous system in our bodies and
then organize it perfectly. They have come together to serve a
single purpose within a system. This fascinating system in our
bodies is one of the manifestations of Allah's beautiful creation
and infinite control over everything.
Synapse Paths
The nervous system in human body is a very complex structure that
consists of billions of nerve cells. These nerve cells communicate
with each other and the other cells in the body through the synapses.
The synapses are small sections in the neighboring nerve cells
which are very close to each other, but they never touch. Since they
do not touch each other, the signals do not directly pass from one
cell to another, rather than that they are carried through by using
chemical means which are called neurotransmitters.
When a signal is received in the first cell, this leads to the
release of some neurotransmitters to the intracellular gap. After
that, the neurotransmitter molecules are diffused in this gap and go
to a less dense environment and bind to the recipient protein
molecules in the second cell. Since the neurotransmitters and the
recipient molecules have too many different types, this synapses
transmission can be fast (onethousandth of a second) or slow (one
hundredth of a second). The chemicals either trigger or stop the
second cell. Therefore, the synapses serve in the nervous system
either by changing the data or processing it. This is why, the
synpasis function in the brain is linked to learning and the
memory.
The neurons receive and send messages through connections called
synapsis and exchange chemicals at these points. There are one
trillion connection points between the nerve cells in the brain and
the molecular traffic over these connections is continuous. The ones
who dictate when this traffic should stop or continue, are the
ions, which are electrically charged chemicals and different types
of proteins. Clearly, the fact that we can live very comfortably,
that we can react to our surroundings become possible by the means
of this special system that Allah created in our bodies. Furthemore,
the nerve cells make only a small part of the complex system in our
bodies. This system all around our bodies is one of the great
manifestations of Allah's infinite power and control. However, every
detail in our bodies, is created with a very special duty, by our
Almighty Lord who has infinite knowledge. Our Lord says in the
verses:
"Ask them for a fatwa: is it they who are stronger in structure or
other things We have created? We created them from sticky clay.
No wonder you are surprised as they laugh with scorn!." (As-Saffat, 11-12)
1- ( http://www.noteaccess.c om/APPROACHES/
ArtEd/ChildDev/1cNeurons.htm; [Coon, Dennis. Introduction to
Psychology, Exploration and Application. St. Paul: West Publishing
Company, 1989.)
2- ( http://www.noteaccess.c om/APPROACHES/ArtEd
/ChildDev /1cNeurons.htm; [Coon, Dennis. Introduction to Psychology,
Exploration and Application. St. Paul: West Publishing Company, 1989.)
3- ( http://www.remarkable medicine.com/Medicine /bodyelectricity.html)
4- ( http://www.remarkable medicine.com/ Medicine/bodyelectricity.html)
Even if we know or not what the synapsis cells do, or even if we
forget about them, it won't make much of a difference in our lives.
However, the cells have an important duty to know these details and
work with them without making any mistakes. They are very
committed to their job, doing it every moment, without us even
feeling it, and without mistakes or problems. These signals that
are carried through doors which are opened in a split second,
actually make up the invisible parts of a huge structure. Tasting an
apple, smelling a rose, recognizing your mother's voice,
remembering a phone number, being able to press the button of a
remote controller, being able to answer a question easily, climbing
down the stairs fast, in short, everything you do in your life
without thinking about it, can happen by the means of this system.
And our duty is giving thanks to our Lord, Who created this system
without us even knowing how necessary it is.

Story, - Falling in december

I'M KIARA AND I LOST MY PRECIOUS POSSESSION..HE'S NAME IS ARMAAN .IN
THIS STORY I'M GONNA MENTION MOSTLY ABOUT ARMAAN AND ME..WE KNOW EACH
OTHER FROM 2002 AND NOW ITS ALMOST THE END OF 2012. HE'S 6' I'M 4 INCH
SMALLER THAN HIM. FROM 2002 WE WERE BEST FRIENDS HAD NEVER HAD ANY
SECRETS WITH EACH OTHER ..WE WERE KIDS THAT TIME.. AND THAT YEAR WAS
SPLENDID, NEVER HAD FEELING FOR HIM LIKE THAT..WE BECOME BEST FRIENDS
AND NONE OF THE GIRLS MOSTLY TALKED TO ME I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY?? AND
I NEVER CARED ABOUT IT .. NEXT YEAR HE WAS SENT TO A BOARDING
SCHOOL..I STARTED MAKING FRIENDS BUT SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW WHY.. IN
THE SCHOOL BUILDING NEAR THE STAIRS I HEAR HIS VOICE, CALLING MY
NAME.AND LATER I USED TO TELL MY FRIENDS ABOUT THE VOICES THEY USED TO
SAY THAT I'M MAD..
AND THE NEXT YEAR HE REALLY CAME BACK..HE WAS JUST THE SAME ,SMILING
TO ME ...I FORGET THE WORLD BEHIND ME AGAIN OUR FRIENDSHIP GREW
STRONG..IN EXAM HALLS HE USED TO HELP ME SO DID I.. WE SHARED MOST OF
THE TIME..NEXT YEAR THERE WAS A GUY CALLED RISHI... I KIND OF LIKED
HIM AND I TOLD THIS TO THAT IDIOT ARMAAN AND ONE DAY HE ACTUALLY TOLD
RISHI THAT I LIKE HIM SO THAT IT WOULD MAKE US TOGETHER.. IT BACKFIRED
ON ME ,RISHI SMILED TO ME,I WAS SO ANGRY WITH ARMAAN I TOLD HIM THAT I
WON'T TALK WITH HIM AND I WON'T COME TO SCHOOL TOMORROW .. AND HE TAKE
IT SO LIGHTLY AND SAID OKAY.. AND THE NEXT FEW DAYS I REALLY COULDN'T
COME TO SCHOOL BECAUSE MY GRANDPA HAD AN HEART-ATTACK SO THE WHOLE
FAMILY STAYED WITH HIM AFTER A FEW DAYS I CAME TO SCHOOL AND HE SAT
BESIDE ME ON THE BUS AND SAID SORRY LIKE A MILLION TIMES.. NEXT YEAR
WAS AS NORMAL AS IT COULD BE BUT "LOVE" WAS IN THE AIR NOT MUCH MANY
LOVE LETTER WAS BEING SENT NOT TO ME BUT TO MANY OTHER GIRLS..BUT THE
NEXT YEAR WAS A DREAM FOR ME...WELL INITIALLY ALL THESE YEARS HAVE
BROUGHT US CLOSE BUT THIS YEAR I COULDN'T RESIST BUT FALL FOR HIM AND
LEAVE THE BLOODY HELL WORLD FAR BEHIND US.IN THE DECEMBER OF 2008 I
FELL IN LOVE WITH ARMAAN ..AND I FELT LIKE I'M IN HEAVEN THE FEELINGS
THAT I FELT WAS SOMETHING I COULD ALWAYS REMEMBER..
IN THE SCHOOL BUS WE USED TO SIT IN THE LAST SIT ACTUALLY HE USED TO
SIT THERE I USED TO SIT IN THE SECOND LAST SIT .HE ALWAYS TRIED TO SIT
BEHIND ME AND MY BROTHER(NOT MY REAL BROTHER)USED TO TEASE US
..ACTUALLY NOT ONLY HIM MANY GIRLS USED TO TEASE US..THE GIRLS USED TO
MAKE CHITS OF PAPER IN WHICH THEY USED TO WRITE A BOY'S NAME IN OUR
CLASS AND I DON'T WHY I ALWAYS GOT ARMAAN'S NAME AND IT HAPPENED MOST
OF THE TIME AND THEY USED TO SAY OUR DESTINY LIES WITH EACH OTHER
..WELL I FIND IT VERY STUPID AND USED TO SAY ARMAAN THAT TELL THEM
THAT YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND AND HE REPLIED"I DON'T HAVE ONE"..ONE DAY
HE WAS REALLY IRRITATING ME SO I PLANNED I WILL KNOCK HIM OFF IN THE
BUS SO I LANDED IN THE BUS FIRST SO DID HE CAME EARLY.WE LEFT OUR BAGS
IN THE SIT AND I STARTED BEATING HIM HARD AND SUDDENLY WE LOOK IN EACH
OTHERS EYES AND I LOOSENED MY ARMS AND HE WHISPERED TO ME "SO U WANNA
FIGHT.. " WE HELD EACH OTHERS HANDS AS IF WE ARE GOING TO DO WALTZ AND
SUDDENLY ONE OF OUR CLASS MATE NAMES RIMI(U MIGHT REMEMBER HER NAME
COZ SHE'S KIND OF IMPORTANT IN THE LATER PART) CAME IN AND SAID "
WHAT'S GOING ON GUYS??"...
AND WE LEAVE EACH OTHERS HAND AND MANY OTHER ROMANTIC THINGS HAPPENED
BETWEEN US..BUT SOME DREAMS ARE BROKEN SO DID MINE BUT THERE'S A
REASON WELL HE GOT A GIRLFRIEND IN THE NEXT YEAR.. YUP! HE TOLD ME HE
WAS SO IN LOVE WITH HER ..WELL IN THAT YEAR I PROPOSED HIM IN 7TH JULY
2009 AND HE SAID A BIG NO TO ME.BEFORE THE PROPOSING DAY ALMOST THREE
GIRLS ARE GOING TO PROPOSE HIM THAT WAS BEEN TOLD TO ME BY RINI AND
SHE MADE ME WROTE A LOVE LETTER WHEN SHE KNEW HE WON'T ACCEPT ME..WELL
I HAD A DAIRY WHICH I HAVE BROUGHT ON THAT DAY (7TH JULY) I WROTE MANY
THINGS IN IT WHAT HE LIKES AND MANY STUFF ABOUT HIM.. WELL RINI HAD
GIVEN NOT ONLY THE LETTER BUT ALSO THE DIARY I HAD CHASED HIM AND HE
GOT IN TO THE BOYS TOILET AND THEN ALL I DID IS CRYING ..I FELT LIKE A
LOSER..BUT THE STORY DOESN'T END OVER THERE GUYS...

Story, - Love is not always at yourdisposal

You want him to love you! You want him to not only say that he loves
you, but also to truly mean it! You want him to love you with that
kind of love that can change someone; the kind of love that shuts his
eyes closed for everyone but you and puts you in a halo of light
around you. You want him to see the fire in your eyes, your eyes and
only yours. You want him to feel the softness of your hair, your hair
and only yours. You want him to seek the warmness in your arms, your
arms and only yours. You want him to look for your advice, yours and
only yours. You want him to love you and only you. You want, and want,
and want...
But all you are left with is wanting!
Why is the world like this ? You love someone, you give him
everything; your heart, your sole, your respect, your trust, you give
him your entire being and he doesn't love you back. He can't or we
doesn't want to, that's not what matters. The important thing is that
it is the reality.
You want him to confide in you about everything; to be faithful, to
spend his time with you, to be next to you, when you need him to; you
want him to need you and your affection, yours and only yours. But
there comes a point in which you realize how much you actually want.
What you want is impossible.
And of course, you start looking for the reason within yourself. You
start thinking that you are not giving everything that you possibly
can; that you are not the one that he would madly fall in love with
and you start wanting to become her; the perfect woman, the one that
he is looking for and is not finding in you. But even if he starts
loving you when you become her, he wouldn't actually be in love with
you, but with the one that you are trying to become; the one that you
actually are not. And this wouldn't constitute real love.
You are aware of this and you are trying to find an answer, a much
needed solution. How to make him love you??? Can you possibly make him
love you? No, right?! There is nothing more that you can do.
You have tried everything, but it just doesn't work. He cannot love
you. Maybe it's you or maybe he isn't capable of loving you, or maybe
you just weren't meant to be. But you love him so much that you can't
face it and you know very well that you must do so, because you are
the only one who is actually suffering! But it's all the same to you
whether you are with him or not, knowing that he doesn't love you and
that maybe he isn't even being faithful.
The only thing you want is to be with him and for him to love you.
That makes two things. Ok, then, you settle with just one of them. Why
do you do that? Because you love him. You love him more than you love
yourself, and this is the biggest mistake in the world that someone
can make, the stupidest thing, the biggest sin. But you aren't even a
believer; you are not afraid of being a sinner.
You have suffered enough and you are not afraid to sin over and over
again, while looking for your true love. You want that to be him,
because you are tired of this never ending search; you are tired of
the scheming, the hurt feelings and the broken hearts.
You are too tired to keep going, knowing that the person next to you
doesn't really love you, nor in his words, neither in his heart and he
isn't even trying to hide it. You are fed up with it, but yet you keep
going. You keep going because you want to be with him, you want him to
love you; you want this more than anything, even though you realize
how much you are missing out on; even though you realize that your
soul is rotting away, stricken by the coldness coming from his heart.
You keep going without even seeing the point; without finding any
reason to continue. But why is everyone looking for a meaning?
Sometimes love is just meaningless; ti makes us do things that make no
sense, but isn't this why it's called love!
The thing that we are always looking for; the thing that we are not
afraid to give out even to people that don't deserve it; the thing
that we so stubbornly keep blaming for every mistake that we do; the
thing that we desperately need in order to feel alive... More vital
than the air, more desired than the sun, more beautiful than life
itself... And this is why we absolutely want to have it. But can we?
Can we have love at our disposal as if it were an item, a material
thing; something that we can sell, give or exchange. We can't, but it
seems like this is exactly what we want. We are corrupting its
saintliness.
Look at how far we got, didn't we? And you simply wanted to say what
you want! What you want, but what you are not getting and what you
aren't going to get, no matter how hard you try. Simply because you
cannot have love at your disposal!