Fathwa, - Instant messaging for marriage

Question:
I am searching for a wife online. SunniPath Q&A's seem to discourage
or even seem to hint at prohibiting instant messaging with a
prospective spouse. However, I can't seem to figure out how then email
or phone would be any different. Phone is also "instant", and when you
need to get to know someone then emails could be going back and forth
pretty quickly, such that it's almost like chatting, but only slower.
If 2 people are outgoing and talkative, then the risk of getting
informal on the phone would probably be just as high as through
instant messaging. Thus, I really don't believe that instant messaging
with a prospective spouse in itself would be haram, rather it would
depend on how you use it. Could you please confirm? When you need to
get to know someone, instant messaging would make things a lot more
quicker and perhaps effective than email.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Brother,
I pray this message reaches you in good health, lofty spirits, and strong iman.
Generally, it is improper to engage in conversation with an unrelated
member of the opposite sex without need. However, as indicated in
previous SunniPath answers, it is permitted to talk to a member of the
opposite sex when there is some purpose. Obviously, talking to someone
with the intention of getting to know that person for marriage is both
purposeful and permissible.
Please see Can I Talk To My Fiancé?and Instant messaging with the
opposite sex. Both of these answers address your question. Obviously,
if you are searching for a wife online, any communication with that
sister will be online. Nonetheless, whichever method you choose to
communicate, please be sure to mutually adhere to Islamic adab. One
usually knows when one has crossed those boundaries. If you have any
doubts, then that is a definite indication that you need to find a
better way to communicate. As a matter of caution, you should avoid
chatting in private, and, particularly, at night. It's very easy for
an ostensibly legitimate conversation to digress into gray areas.
I hope everything works out for you.
And Allah knows best.

Knowledge in Islam and how to seek it

In this article we'll try to shed some light on knowledge from Islamic
perspective. Generally speaking, the Arabic word for knowledge is
'ilm, which, in most cases, indicates to Islamic knowledge or matters
related to Sheree'ah )Islamic Law(. Although, some of the Quranic
verses in this article refer to Islamic knowledge, yet they are
general in their meaning, and thus can be used to refer to learning in
general.
The importance of education is a none disputable matter. Education is
the knowledge of putting one's potentials to maximum use. One can
safely say that a human being is not in the proper sense till he/she
is educated.
This importance of education is basically for two reasons. The first
is that the training of a human mind is not complete without
education. Education makes man a right thinker. It tells man how to
think and how to make decision.
The second reason for the importance of education is that only through
the attainment of education, man is enabled to receive information
from the external world; to acquaint himself with past history and
receive all necessary information regarding the present. Without
education, man is as though in a closed room and with education he
finds himself in a room with all its windows open towards the outside
world.
This is why Islam attaches great importance to knowledge and
education. When the Quran began to be revealed, the first word of its
first verse was 'Iqra' that is, read. Allaah says, )what means(:"Read!
In the Name of your Lord Who has created )all that exists(. He has
created man from a clot )a piece of thick coagulated blood(. Read! And
your Lord is the Most Generous. Who has taught )the writing( by the
pen. He has taught man that which he knew not"]Quran, 96: 1-5[
Education is thus the starting point of every human activity. Allaah
created man and provided him with the tools for acquiring knowledge,
namely hearing, sight and wisdom. Allaah says )what means(:"And Allaah
has brought you out from the wombs of your mothers while you know
nothing. And He gave you hearing, sight, and hearts that you might
give thanks )to Allaah("]Quran, 16:78[
A knowledgeable person is accorded great respect in many prophetic narrations.
Because of the importance of knowledge, Allaah commanded His
Messengerto seek more of it. Allaah says )what means(:"and say: `My
Lord! Increase me in knowledge"]Quran, 20:114[
The Prophetmade seeking knowledge an obligation upon every Muslim, and
heexplained that the superiority of the one who has knowledge over the
one who merely worships is like the superiority of the moon over every
other heavenly body. Hesaid that the scholars are the heirs of the
Prophets and that the Prophets, may Allaah exalt their mention did not
leave behind any money, rather their inheritance was knowledge, so
whoever acquires it has gained a great share. Furthermore, the
Prophetsaid that seeking knowledge is a way leading toParadise.
Hesaid:"Whoever follows a path in the pursuit of knowledge, Allaah
will make a path toParadiseeasy for him.")Al-Bukhaari(
For example the Quran repeatedly asks us to observe the earth and the
heavens. This instills in man a desire to learn natural science as
well. All the books of Hadeeth have a chapter on knowledge. In Saheeh
Al-Bukhaari there is a chapter entitled "The virtue of one who
acquires learning and imparts that to others."
Islam calls us to learn all kinds of beneficial knowledge. Branches of
knowledge vary in status, the highest of which is knowledge of
Sharee'ah )Islamic Law(, then other fields of knowledge, such as
medicine, etc.
This is the knowledge )Sharee'ah( with which Allaah honoured His
Messenger; He taught it to himso that he might teach it to
mankind:"Indeed, Allaah conferred a great favour on the believers when
He sent among them a Messenger )Muhammad( from among themselves,
reciting unto them His Verses )the Quran(, and purifying them )from
sins by their following him(, and instructing them )in( the Book )the
Quran( and Al-Hikmah ]the wisdom and the Sunnah of the Prophet )i.e.
his legal ways, statements and acts of worship([, while before that
they had been in manifest error"]Quran, 3:164[
How great importance is attached to learning in Islam, can be
understood from an event in the life of the Prophet. At the battle of
Badr in which the Prophetgained victory over his opponents, seventy
people of the enemy rank were taken prisoner. These prisoners of war
were literate people. In order to benefit from their education the
Prophetdeclared that if one prisoner teaches ten Muslims how to read
and write, this will serve as his ransom and he will be set free. We
can freely say that this was the first school in the history of Islam
established by the Prophethimself with all its teachers being
non-Muslims. Furthermore, they were all war prisoners.
On the one hand Islam places great emphasis on learning, on the other,
all those factors which are necessary to make progress in learning
have been provided by Allaah. One of these special factors is the
freedom of research. One example of it is that in Makkah, the
birthplace of the Prophetdates were not grown. Afterwards the
Prophetmigrated to Madeenah, the city of dates. One day the Prophetsaw
that some people were atop the date trees busy in doing something. On
being asked what they were engaged in, they replied that they were
pollinating.
The Prophetsuggested them not to do so. The following year date yield
was considerably very low. The Prophetenquired them of the reason.
They told him that the date crop depended on pollination. Since
hesuggested them to do otherwise, they had refrained from that. The
Prophetthen told them to go on doing as they used to, and that, "You
know the worldly matters better than me." )Al-Bukhaari(
Also we should know that there is no goodness in knowledge which is
not confirmed by actions or words which are not confirmed by deeds,
Allaah the Almighty says )what means(:"O you who believe! Why do you
say that which you do not do? Most hateful it is with Allaah that you
say that which you do not do"]Quran, 61: 2-3[
Knowledge brings a great reward. The one who points the way to
something good is like the one who does it. When the knowledgeable
person dies, his reward with Allaah does not cease when he dies,
rather it continues to increase so long as people benefit from his
knowledge. The Prophetsaid:"When a man dies, all his deeds come to an
end except for three — an ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge or a
righteous child who will pray for him.")Muslim(
On other side, a person without knowledge is like someone walking
along a track in complete darkness. Most likely his steps will wander
aside and Satan can easily deceive him. This shows that our greatest
danger lies in our ignorance of Islamic teachings in the first place
and in our unawareness of what the Quran teaches and what guidance has
been given by the Prophet.
On the other hand, if we are blessed with the light of knowledge we
will be able to see plainly the clear path of Islam at every step of
our lives. We shall also be able to identify and avoid the dangerous
paths of disbelief, Shirk )associating with Allaah( and immorality,
which may cross it. And, whenever a false guide meets us on the way, a
few words with him will quickly establish that he is not a guide who
should be followed.
Knowledge is pursued and practiced with modesty and humility and leads
to dignity, freedom and justice.
The main purpose of acquiring knowledge is to bring us closer to our
Creator. It is not simply for the gratification of the mind or the
senses. It is not knowledge for the sake of knowledge. Knowledge
accordingly must be linked with values and goals.
One of the purposes of acquiring knowledge is to gain the good of this
world, not to destroy it through wastage, arrogance and in the
reckless pursuit of higher standards of material comfort.
Six etiquettes of learning
lbn Qayyim Al-Jawziyyahsaid: "There are six stages to knowledge:
Firstly: Asking questions in a good manner.
Secondly: Remaining quiet and listening attentively.
Thirdly: Understanding well.
Fourthly: Memorising.
Fifthly Teaching.
Sixthly- and it is its fruit: Acting upon the knowledge and keeping to
its limits."
Conclusion
According to Quranic perspective, knowledge is a prerequisite for the
creation of a just world in which authentic peace can prevail. In the
case of country's disorder or war the Quran emphasizes the importance
of the pursuit of learning, Allaah says )what means(:"Nor should the
believers all go forth together: if a contingent from every expedition
remained behind, they could devote themselves to studies in religion,
and admonish the people when they return to them - that thus they )may
learn( to guard themselves )against evil(."]Quran, 19:122[

Etiquettes of Seeking Knowledge - II

•Specialization: If a Muslim wants to specialize in one science, he
should choose the most honorable branch of science and the most
beneficent one that suits his abilities. It was said, "If you want to
be a scholar, you should know everything about one thing, but if you
want to be cultured, then know something about everything."
•Memorizing with understanding and reflection: The Prophetsaid:"May
Allaah Brighten the face of the person who hears something from us and
memorizes it until he transmits it to others. Perhaps the one whom it
reaches comprehends it better than the one who heard it. Or perhaps
the one who heard it never comprehended it"]At-Tirmidhi[ This
indicates the importance of memorization.
•Documenting: It was said, "Write down knowledge." It was also said,
"Knowledge is like game that is hunted and writing catches it." Hence,
we should write down knowledge in order not to forget it and carefully
choose what we write. It was said, "There are three categories of
people who listen to the scholar; the first one writes down all that
he hears; the second does not write but only hears, while the third
selects and he is the best among the three".
•Studying and reviewing: Mu'aath ibn Jabal, May Allaah Be Pleased with
him, said:"Seek knowledge as seeking it for the Sake of Allaah leads
to fearing Him, and seeking it is an act of worship, studying it is
Tasbeeh )glorification of Allaah(, searching for it is Jihaad )a
difficult struggle(, teaching it is charity to those who do not have
it, and conveying it to those who deserve to learn it is a good deed."
•Arranging learning hours: A Muslim should always be well organized in
all his affairs and should be keen on organizing his time and spend it
in gaining knowledge and know-how.
•Avoiding shyness in seeking knowledge: Allaah The Almighty Says )what
means(:}So ask the people of the message if you do not know.{]Quran
16:43[ 'Aa'ishah, May Allaah be Pleased with her, said:"The best women
are the women of the Ansaar, shyness did not prevent them from
comprehending their religion."So the Muslim should ask about that
which he desires to know more of and shyness should not prevent him
from asking. For knowledge is a treasure kept in chests and the keys
are questions.
•Traveling to seek knowledge. Jabir ibn 'Abdullaah, May Allaah Be
Pleased with them, said,"It reached me that a man heard a Hadeeth from
the Messenger of Allaahso I purchased a camel and rode it for a month
until I reached Ash-Shaam. I knew that this man was 'Abdullaah ibn
Unays. I told his gate keeper to say to him, 'Jabir is at the door.'
The gate keeper said, 'Jabir ibn 'Abdullaah?' 'Yes,' I replied. So
'Abdullaah rushed out and embraced me and I embraced him. I said, 'It
reached me that you heard a Hadeeth from the Messenger of
Allaahconcerning Qisaas )retribution( and I feared that one of us
might die before I get it. So Abdullaah ibn Unays mentioned to him the
Hadeeth."]Ahmad and At-Tabaraani[
'Ubaydullaah ibn 'Adiyy, May Allaah Be Pleased with him, said: "I knew
about a Hadeeth that was heard by 'Ali, May Allaah Be Pleased with
him, and I feared that I might not find it with anyone else if he
died, so I travelled to him and found him in Iraq." ]Al-Khateeb[
Ibn Mas'ood, May Allaah Be Pleased with him, said: "If I knew of
someone who I can reach by riding my camel and who is more
knowledgeable than me with what was revealed to the ProphetI would go
to him to increase my knowledge." ]Ibn 'Asaakir[
Ash-Sha'bi, May Allaah Have mercy upon him, said, "A man travelled
from the furthest reaches of Ash-Shaam to the furthest reaches of
Yemen to listen to words of wisdom. I do not perceive this travel as a
loss."
•Applying what one learned; Allaah The Almighty Disapproved of those
who do not apply what they know and likened them to donkeys that carry
)heavy loads of( books, but do not understand what they carry. Allaah
The Almighty Says )what means(:}The example of those who were
entrusted with the Torah and then did not take it on is like that of a
donkey who carries volumes ]of books[.{]Quran 62:5[
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Do you order righteousness of
the people and forget yourselves while you recite the Scripture? Then
will you not reason?{]Quran 2:44[ So a Muslim should know with
certainty that he will be asked about what he put forth for himself
during his life. The Prophetsaid:"The slave will not step forward on
the Day of Resurrection until he is asked about his age and how he
spent it, his knowledge and what he did with it, his wealth and how he
acquired it and spent it, and about his body and how he used
it."]At-Tirmithi[
•Respecting the teacher: a teacher has a great virtue upon his students.
•Listening attentively: Al-Hasan ibn 'Ali, May Allaah Be Pleased with
him, said to his son: "O son, when you sit with scholars, be more
diligent to listen than to speak and learn to listen attentively just
as you learn to be quiet. When you ask, your questions should be for
the purpose of understanding and realizing, not for arguing or showing
deficiency."
•Observing etiquettes during learning sessions: A Muslim should sit
with his teacher politely and calmly. He should not keep turning his
head, pointing or laughing. He should present himself in a pleasant
manner, be clean and avoid speaking or asking questions until taking
permission. One should not belittle his colleagues or mock them,
rather he should know that they are his brothers in knowledge so they
should be shown mercy and respect.
Among the reasons that help in gaining knowledge and studying is to
study in a location that has adequate light, quiet and freedom from
distracting noises. One should avoid studying in bed as this makes one
feel sleepy. Moreover, books should be arranged well and organized.
And one should give his body its right by resting occasionally. He
should choose the right time for studying and divide this time
appropriately to study all branches of science.

Hope – the Most Sublime Rank for the Followers

In this article, we will talk about hoping for Allah's mercy. The
believers' relationship with their Lord is characterized both by fear
and hope, such that the former deters them from sins and disobedience,
whereas the latter drives them towards good deeds.
Ibn Al-Qayyimsaid:
"Hoping for the reward of Allah is one of the most supreme and
honorable ranks of one who pursues the right path. Allah The Almighty
praises those ]who do that[, when He Says )what means(:}There has
certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern
for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and ]who[ remembers
Allah often.{]Quran 33:21[ It was also narrated in a Hadeeth Qudsi,
that Allah The Almighty Says: 'O son of Adam, If you supplicate to Me,
expecting My forgiveness, I will forgive you however great or many
your sins may be.' When a person has hope, it means that he or she is
bound and attached to these names of his or her Lord: "The Benevolent,
The Beneficent". The more one knows Allah The Almighty, His names,
attributes and the dominance of His mercy over His wrath, the more his
or her hope increases ]in Him[. Had it not been for hope, the
servitude of the heart and organs ]to Allah[ would have ceased, and
monasteries, churches, synagogues and mosques, where the name of Allah
is frequently mentioned, would have been demolished. If not for the
spirit of hope, ]our[ limbs would not have performed acts of
obedience, and neither would the ships of good deeds have sailed in
the seas of will without its pleasant breeze."
Similarly, the Prophetsaid:"If a believer ]truly[ knew of the
punishment of Allah, no one would expect His Paradise. Equally, were a
disbeliever to know of the ]actual[ mercy of Allah, none would despair
of His Paradise."'Abdullaah ibn Mas'ood, may Allah be pleased with
him, remarked, "The most encouraging verse in the Quran is in the
Chapter Az-Zumar )The Groups(; Allah The Almighty Says )what
means(,}Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves
]by sinning[, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah
forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the
Merciful."{]Quran 39:53["
One of those who visited Maalik ibn Anasduring the night in which he
died, asked him, "O Abu 'Abdullaah, how do you find yourself?"
Heanswered, "I do not know what to say to you except that you will
soon see ]aspects[ of the clemency of Allah that you have never
expected."
Glory be to Allah The Almighty! If those who turn away from Him only
know how He waits for their return and how Merciful He is to them,
they will long for Him enormously. Indeed, if this is His will towards
such people, how will He be to those who draw near to Him? 'Abdullaah
ibn Al-Mubaarak approached Sufyaan Ath-Thawriboth, on the night of
]standing in[ 'Arafah, and found him kneeling ]in prayer[, as his eyes
overflowed with tears; he asked, "Who is the worst person in this
gathering ]in the plains of 'Arafah[?' Sufyaan Ath-Thawrireplied:
"Whoever thinks that Allah will not forgive their sins ]i.e., of the
people who are present[.'"
On a similar night, Al-Fudhayl ibn 'Iyaadhobserved people's
glorification ]of Allah The Almighty[ and their crying, so he asked
those around him: "If those people went to a man and requested
one-sixth of a dirham from him, would he let them return
empty-handed?" When they replied in the negative, he commented: "By
Allah, pardoning is easier for Allah than ]that[." Therefore, I
implore Allah The Almighty, seeking His forgiveness, knowing fully
that He absolves and forgives; even if people's sins are great, they
are minor in comparison to His mercy.
Hence, a slave should have much hope in Him, especially when he or she
is on the verge of death. Allah The Almighty Says, as narrated in a
Hadeeth: "I am ]to him or her[ as My slave thinks of Me." That is why,
perhaps, when Waathilah ibn Al-Asqa', may Allah be pleased with him,
went to see Yazeed ibn Al-Aswadas he lay dying, he asked him, "What is
your expectation about Allah?" The latter replied: "My sins have
brought me to the brink of ruin, but I hope for the mercy of Allah."
So, Waathilah, may Allah be pleased with him, ]happily[ exclaimed
"Allah is The Greatest", and then said, "I heard the Messenger of
Allahsay:'Allah The Almighty Says: 'I am as My slave thinks of Me, so
let him think of Me what he wants'.'"For the same reason, when
Sulaymaan At-Taymiwas dying, he instructed his son: "O Mu'tamir, talk
to me about exemptions ]in Islam[, so that I may meet Allah while
having good expectations of Him."
Hope prompts one to do good deeds
It is witnessed as a reality in life that many neglect good deeds and
dare to commit evil and sins, claiming that they trust in the mercy
and forgiveness of Allah The Almighty. Undoubtedly, this is a
misunderstanding of the true meaning of hope. The words of Al-Hasan
Al-Basriare applicable to such people mentioned above; he says: "There
are people whose confidence in forgiveness diverts them from doing
what is moral, so much so that they die with no virtues. They
proclaim: 'we have good expectation of Allah'. Surely, they are liars,
for if they had hope ]in Him[, they would have done good ]to support
their claim[."
Allah The Almighty is indeed the most Forgiving, Ever Merciful;
however, I would like to draw your attention, dear reader, to the
subtle meaning embedded in the verse )which means(:}Indeed, those who
have believed and those who have emigrated and fought in the cause of
Allah - those expect the mercy of Allah. And Allah is Forgiving and
Merciful.{]Quran 2:218[. Contemplate how this verse alludes to these
people hoping for the mercy of Allah The Almighty alongside doing
those great noble deeds.
Dear Muslim, let us, then, do good and repent from our sins and evil
which we have committed. Let us repeat the words of Mahmood
Al-Warraaq: "O Allah, I have much hope in Your forgiveness and You
]alone[ manage my affairs. I have concealed my secrets from my
relatives and others; You are the only One to Whom I disclose them as
I am confident that You will veil them. O Allah! Do not fail me on the
Day of Resurrection when all hidden matters will be exposed. O Allah,
do not reveal my secrets before people; Your protection will provide
me with an argument ]for my forgiveness[, even though I have no basis
for contention or a real excuse."