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Friday, September 20, 2013

Fathwa, - miscarriage

Question:
I recently had a miscarriage (induced labour) at my first scan I found
out that my 16 weeks (4 months) baby had a lot of fluid in its head,
lungs, stomach because of which it would not have survived...I took a
second opinion from a consultant and was told that it had less than
one percent chance of survival and if it did survive in any case it
would have been born with a disability and eventually would have
died..After a very difficult period and a lot of prayers at my second
attempt of hope of a scan the results were still the same and the
fluid had increased..I could not see my child in pain or death at a
later stage so after consulting my husband who is abroad waiting for a
visa we both decided that we couldn't keep it... accepted it as
Allah's will...I want to know was my decision right or wrong? I hope I
have not committed a sin as I only did what I thought was the right
thing to do rather than seeing its death at a later stage...
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful
Dear Sister,
I am sorry about what you had to go through. May Allah Ta'ala give you
patience and reunite you with your child in paradise.
It is not for me to tell you that what you did was right or wrong.
When a woman decides to end a pregnancy, it is a very personal
decision.
As long as you made istikhara and got some reliable medical advice,
then what can I say? All I have studied is that an abortion is
unlawful once the fetus enters 120 days, or roughly four months.
Given the sensitivity of the situation, please take the matter up with
a reliable local scholar.
May Allah Ta'ala make thing easy for you.

Fathwa, - Wearing jilbab: need encouragment

Question:
I am a practising Muslimah, I wear the hijaab but not a jilbaab,
recently I have really got it in my heart that I need to and I should
wear the jilbaab, I just feel a little confused, please can you give
me some encouragement because I could really do with some, because my
family don't really encourage me and I could do with their support, so
please help should I or shouldn't I, it may be the shaytaan playing
with my feelings and putting me in doubt. Jazakallah khair and the
site is mashallah very good may Allah bless you all for the good work,
and may he give you good in this life and the hereafter.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Dear Sister,
Assalamu alaikum,
I pray this message reaches you in good health and spirits this Ramadan.
Wearing jilbab is very commendable. Since you already wear hijab,
you've already won half the battle. Nothing should stop you from
wearing jilbab. Even if your family does not encourage it, this step
is completely up to you. Allah Ta'ala rewards actions done for His
sake. Jilbab is one of the best forms of modest dress, so, of course,
you should wear it. If you are feeling apprehensive about wearing
jilbab out in public, then be aware that your hijab already sets you
apart. So, alhamdulillah, you already have the courage to obey Allah
and wear your hijab with dignity. Putting on jilbab is simply another
step. Keep in mind that there are different forms of jilbab. For
example, you can wear a jumper or a dress and still have the coverage
that you'd have in a jilbab. You can experiment with different jilbab
styles to see what suits you best. Jilbabs are very elegant garments.
So don't worry about what people think. You may even find yourself
receiving compliments; the modest dress of Muslim women is both
feminine and dignified, and even some non-Muslims appreciate this.
So ask Allah for strength, don't make it more difficult than it should
be, and ignore the naysayers, whether they are Muslim or non-Muslim.
You do what you need to do for your deen. And try to find other
Muslimahs who are doing the same because a social network is
important.
May Allah reward you

Fathwa, - Difference in way of life in our marriage

Question:
My problem has been hurting me since I got divorced. My husband and I
have had issues since the beginning of our marriage. We disagreed on
many things getting into the marriage like how big the wedding should
be. If getting a ring was the right thing to do. How big should the
house we're buying going to be. I know these could be very trivial
issues compared to many disasters in the world and I realize this now
but the point is we entered this marriage with many stresses. I know I
wanted more than what he wanted to give but like any girl in my
position I had many suitors ask for my hand with great offers. I
picked one and hoped he will give me what I want. We had nikah right
away after the engagement and it lasted for a year before the wedding.
I felt helpless because I was already married and I wondered had I
stayed engaged , would he have granted me my wishes with much of a
struggle. We have a beautiful child now but we are divorced. We kept
having issues from his mother--incredible interference in all of our
affairs...where we live, when we should have a kid, how much money my
husband should spend on me and so forth. My other issue with my
husband is that I put on hijab right before I met him. We met and got
married. I felt that hijab got me into this mess. Now I'm accepting
the qadar of Allah more that I ever did before and I'm hoping for a
better life. He handled his mother's issues he says but the remaining
issue is how religious I am. I don't and never smoked or drank or
dated. I alhamdullilah am very pretty and I know that I could do all
of that and have fun but I don't want to. Allah's path is better that
any other. I just can't wear the hijab anymore. I emotionally and
physically suffer when I go out with it. I tried personal and family
counseling to fix this problem but we got nowhere we got divorced at a
time of anger. I asked for the divorce and he gave it to me. Now we
both regret it and want to get back together but the deciding factor
is me wearing hijab. He says that he won't expect much from me but he
needs some minimums and hijab is one of them. I really really
understand his point of view and he has every right to feel that way
but I'm really confused. I told him that I always tried to force
myself to do things for him so we won't destroy this marriage but this
time I'm having such a hard time and I am not good at explaining my
feelings. He asked me to stay with my parents until I have figured out
what I will do about hijab and based on that he will decide whether we
should stay together or not meaning divorce if I take it off. I am
lost. I don't want to break this family and I don't want to suffer
everyday. I pray and ask for guidance believe me and I will continue
to do that but for the mean time what do I do? I think sometimes why
couldn't he be more reasonable with me. Out of all of his friends he
one of the most strict ones I've met and yet he enjoys his life too. I
feel that my decision will affect my life, his and our son's and it
won't be pretty. I know I must have confused you already and I swear
I'm much more confused than I ever was. Many women don't wear hijab
but they aren't necessarily not religious. He has no faith in me now
and doesn't trust that I can be a good wife. I went through a lot with
him and what got to me the most is how ready he was to divorce me
whenever we had an issue. I hope your answer will guide me a little.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Dear Sister,
Assalamu alaikum,
Thank you for your question.
Given the seriousness of the situation, I strongly urge you and your
husband to seek marriage counseling.
There are only a few observations I can offer based on what I could
understand of your situation:
1.You and your husband have a child together. You owe it to your child
to consider the impact of a broken home on his future. Are your and
your husband's issues irreconcilable?
2.You seem to be very conflicted about the purpose and status of
hijab. Hijab is a command from Allah Most High. To make the hijab a
bone of contention between you and your husband is a mistake. Are you
really prepared to sacrifice your marriage over hijab?
3.There are obviously deeper issues than whether or not to wear hijab.
You and your husband appear to have some compatibility issues that
absolutely must be resolved before you go any further.
4.There are valuable lessons that can be learned from this situation.
You and your husband need to decide if you can make a fresh start.
(I'm assuming the divorce is non-finalized). You both need to make the
Guidance Prayerand mutually agree to seek marriage counseling to help
you work through these issues.
5.You both need to change the way you handle conflict. Threatening
divorce every time an issue crops up is unhealthy and, from a fiqh
perspective, risky.I pray you can work things out.

Quran is the source of glory and happiness for the Ummah - I

Praise be to Allaah Who Revealed His Noble Book in the best style and
Impressed hearts with its good wording and eloquent compositions. He
Revealed it in the form of clear verses, Segmented it into Surahs and
verses, Arranged it in the best way with His Extensive Wisdom and
Composed it in the greatest way with the most eloquent words and
sublime structure. Blessings and peace be upon the Prophetto whom the
Quran was revealed to warn and remind. Allaah Revealed the Quran to
his noble heart and this alleviated his hardship and expanded his
breast. Also, blessings and peace be on the Prophet'sfamily and
Companions from among the Muhaajiroon and the Ansaar.
Despite technical advancement, the prosperity of industries and
inventions and the new world order, the world today is failing with
all its organizations, institutions and innovations to bring happiness
to humankind or provide it with security and comfort. Here are the
ratios of the disease of the age; anxiety and depression, increasing
day after day. Here are also the ratios of poverty, ignorance, hunger,
killing, suicide as well as the collapse of values, principles and
morals multiplying year after year.
Villa Spaza, a Spanish scientist, said, "All the amazing discoveries
of the West are neither able to prevent even one tear nor to make even
one human smile..."
Alexis Carrel said, "Modern civilization does not suit us …. Although
it was established through our contributions, it does not suit us. We
are indeed unhappy people because we have morally and mentally
deteriorated."
The same applies to some of those who are called Muslims. They have
their wealth, positions and dreams, though they live in worries,
anxiety and pain. What is the solution? What is the refuge? It is the
Quran!
The Quran is the source of glory and happiness for the Ummah, the
basis of knowledge, action and tranquility, and the spring of
steadfastness at the time of conflicting ideas and changing concepts.
It is the fortified dam in facing temptations, allegations and
desires.
At such a time, all of us need the Quran to strengthen our faith and
certainty so that we keep steadfast before such desires and
challenges.
Each Muslim needs the Quran to reassure him when he feels alienated,
soothe him when he is afflicted with a disaster, create hope in him
when he is distressed or suffers from despair of the Mercy of Allaah
and warn and frighten him when he is overcome with fancies and lusts.
O Muslims, nation of the Quran, there is neither steadfastness, nor
affection for the self, nor relief for the soul, nor fulfillment of a
promise nor security from a punishment nor firmness of belief nor
continuity of one's good mention unless one moves with all his
feelings, sentiments, heart and body to the Book of Allaah, the Noble
Quran through recitation, reflection, learning and acting accordingly.
This key actually opens the locks of the heart. The Quran is the key
of the hearts. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Then do they not
reflect upon the Quran, or are there locks upon ]their[ hearts?{]Quran
47: 24[
O Muslim, you should read the Quran with your heart first before your
tongue to find:
Purity of meanings which quench your thirst from the water of
eloquence, gentleness where you smell the breeze of the garden as well
as words when they are strict, they are like waves of the overflowing
seas and when they are lenient, they are the breaths of the life to
come.
The Quran is the source of lighting the heart as well as life and
remedy for souls. Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}O mankind,
there has to come to you instruction from your Lord and healing for
what is in the breasts and guidance and mercy for the believers. Say,
"In the Bounty of Allaah and in His Mercy - in that let them rejoice;
it is better than what they accumulate."{
]Quran 10: 57-58[
The Quran achieves happiness for the human, spreads security and
tranquility and provides glory, prosperity and safety. All this is
achieved through the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophetwho said:"I
have left among you two things you will never go astray as long as you
hold fast to them: the Book of Allaah and my Sunnah."]Al-Albaani:
Hasan[
Brothers and sisters, we do not need to clarify a fact which is known
to friends and confirmed by enemies. We do not need to clarify this
fact which the believers believed in and the opponents admitted. We do
not need to assert that the Noble Quran is a sublime summit and a high
peak in eloquence and fluency. The masters of eloquence failed to
bring anything like the Quran. We do not need to repeat this whenever
we talk about our Quran. It is enough for us in terms of glory and
honor that the Quran is the Words of Allaah.
We hear many of those who try to prove the strength of eloquence and
effectiveness in the Quran for the enemies. Had we been truthful with
ourselves, we would have wondered: What is the effect of the Quran on
our souls? What is the effect of its eloquence on our hearts? Is this
not poof against us that we are away from the Quran and therefore we
are weak? Where are we from the Quran; the light of our hearts, the
constitution of our lives, the Favor of Allaah and His greatest Bounty
over us?
We are often in dire need of those who remind us, admonish us, soften
our hearts and help us to stay always on the straight path, with
neither exaggeration nor negligence.
There are moderate souls which accept, are disciplined and even become
happy and demand this reminder. Contrary to this, there is another
type of Muslim who is far away from the Islamic etiquettes and morals.
They are even away from dedicating worship to Allaah and doing what
befits the Majesty of Allaah of love, exaltation, submission and
surrender. Such people need strong alerts and admonishments which put
an end to their heedlessness and take them out of their deviation.
There are no stronger alerts than the alerts of the Noble Quran which
greatly influenced the Arabs, not only due to its inimitable style but
also due to its alerts, prohibitions as well as the way of narrating
stories in all its Surahs.
Have such people heard the verse in which Allaah The Almighty Says
)what means(:}O you who have believed, do not take your fathers or
your brothers as allies if they have preferred disbelief over belief.
And whoever does so among you - then it is those who are the
wrongdoers.{]Quran 9: 23[
Have such people read in the Quran the verse in which Allaah The
Almighty Says )what means(:}Say, ]O Muhammad[, "If your fathers, your
sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, wealth which you have
obtained, commerce wherein you fear decline, and dwellings with which
you are pleased are more beloved to you than Allaah and His Messenger
and Jihaad in His Cause, then wait until Allaah Executes His command.
And Allaah Does not Guide the defiantly disobedient people."{]Quran 9:
24[
When one of the leaders of the Quraysh heard the Messenger of
Allaahreciting the verse in which Allaah The Almighty Says )what
means(:}But if they turn away, then say, "I have warned you of a
thunderbolt like the thunderbolt ]that struck[ 'Aad and
Thamood.{]Quran 41: 13[, he begged him to stop the recitation.
The Prophetstrictly warned against returning to the morals of the
pre-Islamic era saying:"The example of the one who helps his people
with falsehood is like a camel that fell into a well and it moves its
tail but can not get out."]Al-Albaani: Saheeh[
He also said:"I am seizing your waistbands and trying to pull you away
from the Fire but you are trying to get away from me."]Muslim[
Why are those who are enslaved by traditions and vain pretensions and
their words and deeds have become so far from Islam, not frankly told
that their status is due to weakness of faith and keeping away from
reflecting on the verses of the Quran? Actually, the Quranic stories
and examples as well as the sayings of the Prophethave a wonderful
effect on reforming and deterring the soul and putting it on the
straight path. O people of the Quran, when will we realize that
civilization and advancement do not contradict adherence to religion?
When will we realize that the Quran is a light and guidance for the
Muslims?
It is really astonishing! Why do we quickly respond to the enemies
when they dictate that advancement can not be attained unless one
abandons Islam? Could we not be civilized while we are praying and
fasting? Could we not be civilized while we are straight and
righteous?
I wonder in astonishment; is the condition of civilization and
advancement to disobey Allaah and contradict His commands? If it is
so, then this is the real backwardness. This is actually backwardness
to the ages of ignorance, Shirk, darkness and worshipping desires and
the idols of fancy! Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}Indeed,
this Quran guides to that which is most suitable and gives good
tidings to the believers who do righteous deeds that they will have a
great reward.{]Quran 17: 9[
Is this the effect of ignorance about the Quran? Or is it shame to
follow the truth of Islam? Or it is the effect of desires and lusts
and surrender? O people of the Quran, the Quran calls to progress in
all fields; all worldly and religiously matters. Nevertheless, it is
the type of progress which is controlled by the noble Quranic
etiquettes and divine teachings. Non-Muslim scientists and wise people
wondered about the Noble Quran which preceded them to reflection and
advancement by hundreds of years. This is happening at a time when
many Muslims have deserted the Quran.
To be continued...