Social evils that are destroying Muslim communities - II

Severing ties with kinfolk: The most important of kinfolk are one's
parents, and yet we find many people dealing with them in an
inappropriate manner or even severing ties with them altogether. As
for those who do try to fulfil the needs of their parents, many of
them do it begrudgingly, while expressing discontent or complaining
that it is a burden upon them. This is in spite of the fact that
Allaah The Almighty commands us to not say even the least expression
of discontent in this regard, saying )what means(:}"…Say not to them
]so much as[ 'Uff,' and do not repel them but speak to them a noble
word."{]Quran, 17': 23[
The mother of Huthayl bin Hafsahsaid,
"He would collect wood during the summer and peel off the outer layer
of bark himself. Then, when winter would come, he would come to me
whilst I was praying, light a brazier )in my room( and place the
peeled wood in it, as this does not give harmful smoke. He would do so
just so that I would be warm during prayer. He would do so even though
we had a servant who could do the job. Whenever I thought of stopping
him and commanding him to return to his family, I would remember why
he was doing it, and thus I would allow him to continue."
Why was he doing this himself despite him having a servant who could
have done it for him? It was nothing but a reflection of his full
dutifulness towards his mother.
This type of nobility is not limited to ones parents; rather, one
should be kind to all his relatives and even his fellow Muslims.
Wasting time: The issue of wasting time is a very important one
indeed. We must be careful about it and hold ourselves to account
regarding it because we spend much of our time uselessly instead of
spending it in acts of obedience to Allaah, as it should be utilised.
Allaah The Almighty Says )what means(:}"And it is He who has made the
night and the day in succession for whoever desires to remember or
desires gratitude."{]Quran, 25: 62[
Therefore, time was created so that we would fill it with acts of
obedience to Allaah, The Almighty but many people do the exact
opposite of this. The Salaf )righteous predecessors(were very keen to
make use of every second of their time. Al-Hasansaid, "I have met some
people who were stingier with their time than they were with their
wealth."
People nowadays waste their times in games, late nights, socializing,
watching television and in vain talk. They may even go as far as doing
so at the expense of their religious obligations, such as their daily
prayers, and so on.
Wasting wealth:Many men cave in under pressure from their wives and
children and therefore spend extravagantly, but when they are asked to
spend in charity, one would find that they are so stingy that if they
were to pull out two bills to give in charity, one would invariably
return to his pocket. However, if this same person were to go to a
restaurant, he would have no problem in spending multiples of this
amount.
Allaah The Almighty will ask us about our wealth because we were
informed as such by the Prophet. Abu Barzahreported, "The Messenger of
Allaahsaid:"Man's feet will not move on the Day of Resurrection before
he is asked about his life and how he consumed it, his knowledge and
what did he do with it, his wealth and how he earned it and how he
disposed of it, and about his body and how he wore it
out.""]At-Tirmithi[
This does not imply that people do not spend generously or that there
are no people who do any of the abovementioned matters correctly. The
purpose of highlighting these points is to serve as a reminder for
Muslims – at both the individual and community level – so that we
realize the importance of these matters and hold ourselves to account
with respect to them, as there are many of us who are failing to do
so.

Easy tips to a sound upbringing

Dear parent, how do you imagine the successful way of upbringing to be?
In other words, what is your view of the proper way to discipline the
behavior of your child?
I think that discipline in your point of view is the way which obliges
our children to submit to what we say without having the right to
express any objection.
Dear parent, I may agree with you on the definition of discipline, but
I differ with you in the way it is applied.
The best way to discipline your children is to teach and guide them,
more than obliging them to be disciplined. The process of improving a
child's behavior is an educational, not a punitive process. In this
case, you should prefer a smile to frowning, a calm voice to shouting
and a reward to punishment.
In this article, we offer you thirteen tips that will significantly
affect your methodology while you change your child's behavior. These
thirteen tips will form a new atmosphere for discipline making it an
easy matter. However, you should listen to, respond and consider every
tip.
First: Be a good example:
Your child is watching you continuously and he absorbs the way you
face frustration, your behavior while you are angry, the extent of
your truthfulness, honesty, generosity, morals, and so on. Hence, it
would be easier to change your child's behavior if you are his
role-model in doing what you order him to do. It should be known that
you cannot give what you do not have.
Second: Encourage efficiency:
According to experts,"Self-confidence is a good cornerstone for
self-control."When you praise your child's good behavior, you build
his self-confidence. Such self-confidence will help you a great deal
in improving his bad behavior.
Third: Teach your child social skills:
Getting the child accustomed to good social manners at a young age
will save a lot of effort when he gets older. So, from now teach him
to seek permission before entering others' rooms, to say"Jazaak
Allaahu Khayran)May Allaah reward you(" to anyone who does him a
favor, to kiss his parents' hands, to visit his relatives, and to help
his mother with the housework. Every effort that you exert with a
young child will be a great asset helping you to change his bad
behavior when he gets older.
Fourth: Give your child authority to an extent that is proportional to his age:
The more you find ways to encourage independence, the more you save a
lot of time in the future. You should teach your child to make his own
decisions, for example, to choose his own clothes and to buy his own
things. The child who has some kind of authority will control himself
more and will be more capable of changing his behavior.
Fifth: Charge with responsibilities:
Many parents do not entrust tasks to their children because they feel
that it is easier to do them themselves or they do not want to
overburden their children. However, this attitude should be changed
and the child should be encouraged to participate in the housework and
to help his father at work. This should take place after teaching and
training the child to do so in order not to feel a failure. The child
who shoulders responsibility at a young age will be more able to
change his own bad behavior.
Sixth: First attract their attention:
Your children may notice that you talk, but if they do not pay
attention to your words, they will not respond. Therefore, your first
step is to be keen on attracting their attention.
-Go to the room to speak directly to your child.
-Be keen on visual communication which requires flexibility to be on
the same level of the child.
-Your demands should be simple and your explanation should be easy and
clear to understand.
Seventh: Look for other means of rejection:
The child usually turns a deaf ear to everything that he does not like
to hear. This means that the more interesting your speech is, the
greater your chance is to gain their attention.
-Instead of telling the child,"Stop shouting",you should say,"Please,
speak in your normal voice."
-Instead of saying to the child,"Stop throwing the ball inside the
house", you should say,"Take the ball and play outside".
Guiding the child in a positive way will save you from direct
confrontation related to his behavior. It will also give the child a
space to choose. You should not say to him,"Do not play
football";rather, you should say,"Do not play football here."
Eighth: Set limits:
Some parents fear setting limits thinking doing so will weaken the
child's personality. However, when you spend some time with children
who have no limits, you will immediately realize the importance and
positive effect of this approach on the child.
Ninth: Anticipate the situation and deal with it before it takes place:
For instance, if your child insists on having everything he wants from
the toy store, then, you need to go there without accompanying him
until he gets older. It is wise to avoid the development of some bad
attitudes in our children.
Tenth: Setting punishments:
The best way to indicate your dissatisfaction with any bad behavior is
to set punishments. For example, you may say,"If you do not go on
time, you will not be able to go to the picnic","If you beat your
young sister, you will not get your pocket money",and so on.
Eleventh: Be flexible and ready to negotiate if necessary:
Flexibility in upbringing means having sufficient wisdom that does not
drive the parent to ask the child to immediately do his homework after
returning from a hard day at school. In this situation, the parent
should say,"I think you should have some rest now. I will wake you up
after you have rested."
Twelfth: Using the method of rewards:
Reward is different from bribes.
A bribe is to make a previous agreement with the child, for example,
to have a certain amount of money in order not to raise his voice in
the market.
A reward is to give the child a reward in return for his polite
behavior all the day.
Giving rewards enhances good morals and creates a new atmosphere. So,
you should not forget to use it as a successful means of upbringing.
Thirteenth: Be firm on principle:
You should mind what you say and adhere to it. In this way, the child
will understand that you are serious. This will save a lot of your
efforts. Firmness on principles is the basis according to which you
can bring up your child. If you can set some rules and behavior to be
followed inside the family, you will grant your child the starting
point according to which he can make his own decisions.

Dought & clear, - When should the takbeeraat of movementbe said during the prayer?.

When the imam is praying, when should he say takbeer for bowing, for
example? Should he say takbeer before he bows, whilst bowing or after
bowing?.
Praise be to Allaah.
What is prescribed for everyone who prays (the imam, the one who is
praying behind the imam and the one who is praying alone) is for the
takbeer for bowing to accompany the movement. So he should start
saying takbeer when he starts to bow, and end it before he reaches the
bowing position, so that his takbeer comes between the two postures of
standing and bowing.
The Sunnah indicates that the takbeer should accompany the intended
movement such as bowing, prostrating and standing up. It is narrated
inal-Saheehaynthat Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
When the Messenger of Allaah (S) stood up to pray, he would say
takbeer when he stood up, then he would say takbeer when he bowed,
then he would say "Sami'a Allaahu limanhamidah(Allaah hears those who
praise Him)" until he was standing up straight after bowing, and when
he was standing he would say, "Rabbana wa laka'l-hamd(our Lord, to You
be praise)." Then he would say takbeer when he went down in
prostration, then he would say takbeer when he raised his head, then
he would say takbeer when he prostrated, then he would say takbeer
when he raised his head, and he did that throughout the prayer until
he finished. And he would say takbeer when he stood up after two
rak'ahs, after sitting."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (789) and Muslim (392).
This hadeeth shows that the takbeer for bowing should be said whilst
bending down to bow, and the takbeer for prostration should be said
when going down for prostration, and the takbeer for standing up from
prostration should be said whilst rising, and so on. This was stated
by al-Nawawi inSharh Muslim, and he said that it is the view of the
majority of scholars.
Some of the fuqaha' were very strict on this point, and said that if
the worshipper starts to say the takbeer when he is standing, before
he bends down, or he completes it after he reaches the bowing posture,
that does not count and he has failed to say takbeer properly, because
he has not done it at the right time. According to the view that
takbeer is obligatory, he has invalidated his prayer if he did that
deliberately, and if he did it by mistake he must perform the
prostration of forgetfulness (sujood al-sahw). The correct view,
however, is that this is forgivable, so as to avoid undue hardship.
Al-Mardaawi said inal-Insaaf(2/59): Majd and others said: The takbeer
for going down and rising and standing up should start when the
movement begins and end when it ends. If he completes it partway
through, that is sufficient [i.e., if it happens between the two
postures without elongating it], because it has not been done at the
wrong time. There is no scholarly difference of opinion on this
matter.
But if he starts it before that or ends it after that, and some of it
happens outside the proper place, then this is like not doing it at
all, because he did not complete it at the right time. It is like one
who completes his recitation whilst bowing, or who starts to recite
the tashahhud before sitting.
But he may be forgiven for that, because avoiding it is difficult, and
mistakes are often made, and it is too harsh to suggest that this
invalidates the prayer or requires the prostration of forgetfulness.
End quote.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The fuqaha'
(may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If he starts to say the takbeer
before he bends down, or he completes it after reaching the bowing
posture, then that is not valid, because they said that this takbeer
is for movement and its place is between the two postures. If it is
included in the first posture it is not valid and if he includes it in
the second posture it is not valid, because that is a place where this
dhikr is not prescribed. It is not prescribed to say takbeer whilst
standing or whilst bowing, rather the takbeer comes in between
standing and bowing.
Undoubtedly this view is valid to some extent, because the takbeer is
the sign of movement, so it should be done whilst moving.
But the view that his prayer is invalidated if he completes it after
he reaches the bowing position or he starts it before he starts to
bend down causes hardship for people, because if you think about how
people are nowadays, many people do not know this, and some of them
say takbeer before they start to bend down, and some of them reach the
bowing position before they finish saying it.
It is strange that some ignorant imams have come up with a mistaken
ijtihad and say "I will not say takbeer until I reach the bowing
position, because if I say takbeer before I reach the bowing position,
the people praying behind me will bow before I do, and they will bend
down before I reach the bowing position, and perhaps they will reach
it before I do." This is a strange kind of ijtihad, whereby you would
invalidate your own worship, according to the view of some scholars,
in order to ensure the validity of the worship of someone else who is
not enjoined to do things before you, rather he is enjoined to follow
you.
Hence we say: this ijtihad is inappropriate, and we call the one who
comes up with this kind of ijtihad ignorant … because he is ignorant
and he does not know that he is ignorant.
If, let's say, you say takbeer when you bend down, and you want to
finish it before you reach the bowing position, but you reach the
bowing position before you finish it, there is nothing wrong with
that.
The correct view is that if he starts the takbeer before bending down
to bow, and finishes it after that, there is nothing wrong with that.
If he starts it when he is bending down and ends it after he reaches
the bowing position, there is nothing wrong with that. But it is
better for it to be done between the two postures as much as possible.
The same applies during the saying of "Sami'a Allaahu liman hamidah"
and all the takbeeraat of movement. But if he does not start until
after he reaches the position that comes next, then this is not
valid. End quote fromal-Sharh al-Mumti'.
And Allaah knows best.

Dought & clear, - The status of prayer in Islam.

I hope that you can explain to us the status of prayer in Islam.
Praise be to Allaah.
Prayer occupies a great status in Islam that is not shared by any
other act of worship. This is indicated by the following:
1 – It is the pillar of the religion, which cannot stand without it.
According to a hadeeth narrated by Mu'aadh ibn Jabal (may Allaah be
pleased with him), the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "Shall I not tell you of the head of the
whole matter and its pillar and top?" I [Mu'aadh] said, "Yes, O
Messenger of Allaah." He said, "The head of the matter is Islam, its
pillar is prayer and its top is jihad." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2616;
classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Tirmidhi, 2110.
2 – It is second in status to the Shahaadatayn (twin testimony of
faith) as further proof of the soundness of a person's belief and as
visible evidence of the beliefs that reside in the heart.
The Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "Islam is built on five [pillars]: the testimony that there is
no god but Allaah and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger,
establishing prayer, paying zakaah, performing pilgrimage to the
House, and fasting Ramadaan." Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 8; Muslim, 16.
Establishing prayer means performing prayer in full with all its words
and actions, at the appointed times, as it says in the Qur'aan
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Verily, As-Salaah (the prayer) is enjoined on the believers at fixed hours"
[al-Nisa' 4:103]
i.e., at defined times.
3 – Prayer occupies a special position among other acts of worship
because of the way in which it was enjoined.
It was not brought down to earth by an angel, rather Allaah wanted to
bless His Messenger Muhammad(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) by taking him up to heaven and addressing him directly concerning
the obligation of prayer. This is something that is unique to prayer
among all the rituals of Islam.
Prayer was enjoined on the night of the Mi'raaj [Prophet's ascent to
heaven], approximately three years before the Hijrah.
Fifty prayers (per day) were enjoined at first, then the number was
reduced to five, but the reward of fifty remains. This is indicative
of Allaah's love of prayer and its great status.
4 – Allaah erases sins by means of prayer
Al-Bukhaari (528) and Muslim (667) narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the
Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said –
and in the hadeeth of Bakr it is narrated that he heard the Messenger
of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say – "What do
you think if there was a river by the door of any one of you and he
bathed in it five times a day, would there be any trace of dirt left
on him?" They said, "No trace of dirt would be left on him." He said,
"That is like the five daily prayers, by means of which Allaah erases
sin."
5 – Prayer is the last part of religion to be lost, and if it is lost
the whole religion is lost.
It was narrated that Jaabir ibn 'Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased
with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said: "Between a man and shirk [associating others with
Allaah] and kufr [disbelief] there stands his giving up prayer."
Narrated by Muslim, 82.
Hence the Muslim should be keen to perform the prayers on time, and
not be lazy or take the matter lightly. Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"So woe unto those performers of Salaah (prayers) (hypocrites),
Those who delay their Salaah (prayer from their stated fixed times)"
[al-Maa'oon 107:4-5]
And Allaah warns those who cause their prayers to be lost by saying
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up
As-Salaat (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salaat (prayers) to be lost,
either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by
not offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed
lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell"
[Maryam 19:59]
6 – Prayer is the first thing for which a person will be brought to
account on the Day of Resurrection:
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him)
said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) say: "The first deed for which a person will be brought to
account on the Day of Resurrection will be his prayer. If it is good
then he will have prospered and succeeded, but if it is bad then he
will be doomed and have lost. If anything is lacking from his
obligatory prayers, the Lord will say, 'Look and see whether My slave
did any voluntary prayers, and make up the shortfall in his obligatory
prayers from that.' Then all his deeds will be dealt with likewise."
Narrated by al-Nasaa'i, 465; al-Tirmidhi, 413. Classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani inSaheeh al-Jaami', 2573.
We ask Allaah to help us to remember Him, give thanks to Him and to
worship Him properly.
Reference:al-Salaahby Dr. al-Tayyaar, p. 16;Tawdeeh al-Ahkaamby
al-Bassaam, 1/371;Taareekh Mashroo'iyyat al-Salaahby al-Balooshi, p.
31.