Fathwa, - Who has the religious and legal right to name an infant: the mother, father, or ...

Question:
Who has the religious and legal right to name an infant: the mother,
father, or someone else? Even if the wife really wants a specific name
and SHE is the one who carried for 9 months and SHE is the one who
will go through the pains of delivery while the husband does nothing
of the sort, can his choice override the mother's choice for her
child's name?
Answer:
Dear Sister,
I pray this message finds you and your family well.
From the ahadith of the Prophet, peace be upon him, one understands
that it is the duty of the parents to give the child a good and
respectable name. In answer to your question, it was pointed out to me
that the father has the ultimate say in naming the child based on his
role as amir of the family.
To prevent bad feelings, you and your husband might settle on a
compromise. Perhaps you can both decide on a name that is mutually
pleasing. Or you could pick your husband's choice as the child's first
name, and give him your choice as a middle name, or vice versa. Maybe
you can take turns, that is, your first child get's the name Dad
wants, the second gets Mom's choice, etc.
Ultimately, the father is the amir of the family, but a good amir is
the one who decides through mutual consultation. It is possible for
you to recognize your husband's role as the amir, while at the same
time, making your own wishes clear.
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar:
Allah's Apostle said, "Surely! Everyone of you is a guardian and is
responsible for his charges: The Imam (ruler) of the people is a
guardian and is responsible for his subjects; a man is the guardian of
his family (household) and is responsible for his subjects; a woman is
the guardian of her husband's home and of his children and is
responsible for them; and the slave of a man is a guardian of his
master's property and is responsible for it. Surely, everyone of you
is a guardian and responsible for his charges."
[Bukhari, Volume 9, Book 89, Number 252]
Allah Most High speaks of mutual consultation, or shura, as one of the
qualities of the believers, "And those who answer the call of their
Lord and establish worship, and whose affairs are a matter of counsel,
and who spend of what We have bestowed on them." [As-Shura, 42:38]
I pray that Allah gives you a solution through mutual consultation
that is beneficial to all.
And Allah knows best.

Fathwa, - Hijab: problems can you help me

Question:
I was happy to find out your site because it's been 2 years that I
have a big problem. Indeed, two years ago I decided to wear the
hidjab. First, I have to explain you where I am from. I live in the
North of France, I am originally from Algeria and I am a Sunni muslim.
I'm 20 and I'm a student in university. When I left high school, I
began reading more and more about Islam, being regular about my
prayers, fearing Allah subhanu wata3ala and doing my best to get
closer to HIM. I made the decision to wear the hidjab. My parents
pray. They don't try to learn more science about Islam and they don't
read the Quran. My mother who is 59 doesn't wear al hidjab. When I
wanted to put the veil, they got furious, my father became
high-boiling, he had a fit of rage and there wasn't any dialogue
possible with him. He told me if you wear the veil you have to leave
my home. First, I ignored their remarks and I left the veil on my head
and then he took it off from my hair. I cried a lot, I keep on praying
Allah subhanu wata3ala every day during all the prayers. I study 30
minutes by train far from home. I come back to home every day. During
the last months, I began wearing it in the train just after leaving
home. I wear it during all the day but my parents don't know anything
about it. I want to know what should I do about that? Because I'm fed
up with having this double life. Anyway al hamdulilah, I put my trust
in Allah "Wa tawakal 3ala Allah wa kafa billahi wa kilah" Sourate al
ahzab
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Sister,
May Allah Ta'ala reward you for making this decision under very
challenging circumstances. Remember that when you take a step toward
Allah the Exalted, He reciprocates many times over.
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who
said that the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said: Allah
the Almighty said:
I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of
Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to
Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention
of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to Me an
arm's length, I draw near to him a fathom's length. And if he comes to
Me walking, I go to him at speed.
Hadith Qudsi 15. It was related by al-Bukhari (also by Muslim,
at-Tirmidhi and Ibn-Majah).
Obedience to parents is not unconditional. Therefore, if our parents
ask us to do something that contravenes Sacred Law, then we are
obliged to disobey them.
Obedience to Allah Ta'ala, however, is unconditional. That is why we
are Muslims, that is, we fully surrender to Allah the Exalted. As a
Muslim woman, one of your religious responsibilities is to wear hijab.
This is something between you and your Lord, and your parents cannot
interfere.Please remain true to your convictions, but also remain a
good daughter to your parents by emphasizing your love and respect for
them. Try to respond positively when they raise objections.
I pray that Allah Ta'ala opens their hearts and brings them around.
And Allah knows best.

Fathwa, - Sleeping with newborn/child

Question:
I would like to know, according to Islam, what is the best way for
small children to sleep, from newborn to 2,3 years old. The culture
that i was raised into, a new born child used to sleep with parents,
on their bed, usually between them, or in a separate bed, with them in
the same room. I used to believe it's good for the child, to be close
to his parents while sleeping , and it gives him a sense of security.
I have been told, that it's unhealthy and dangerous for the child
(especially newborn) to sleep with parents, and it's against modesty
too. Can you please give the Islamic perspective for this situation.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Sister,
I pray this message finds you, your husband, and your new baby in good
health and spirits.
Thank you for your question. I don't know of any specific Islamic
injunction about co-sleeping. There is absolutely no problem with
having your baby in the bed with you. In fact, if you're
breastfeeding, which, according to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam
al-Kawthari,is a religious and moral responsibility toward your child,
then it makes a lot of sense to co-sleep.
If you're concerned about your baby being inadvertently harmed,
however, there are other options, such as attaching a bassinet to your
bed, or putting the baby's bed right next to yours.
If you want to keep your baby in the bed with you, then beware of
having too much soft bedding or pillows. And don't have your baby in a
position where he or she could fall between the mattress and the wall,
or fall out of the bed.
Please see the following article for more information about the pros
and cons of co-sleeping: Cosleeping and Your Baby.
As far as modesty is concerned, this is not an issue when your child
is a baby. Modesty only becomes an issue when your child is old enough
to understand the concept of covering one's private areas. This is
usually around the age of four or five, but, again, this depends on
your child.
The only thing that you might want to consider is that having a baby
in the bed, for obvious reasons, can put a damper on your intimate
life. However, you can deal with that by simply setting up a bed for
your baby in another room, so that Mommy and Daddy can have privacy
when they need it.
And Allah knows best.

Social evils that are destroying Muslim communities - I

The role of the individual in Islam is not limited to fulfilling the
five pillars. The Muslim in an Islamic community has a greater
responsibility than is usually understood. All of a Muslim's
activities in life are included as acts of worship depending upon the
intention underlying them. Nothing is required from a Muslim beyond
service to Allaah The Almighty, and nothing is accepted from him,
which is not a service. Every individual's responsibilities fall into
two parts: his responsibility to adhere to the teachings of Islam and
his responsibility to enjoin good and forbid evil – which is social
reform. There is a reason why enjoining good and forbidding wrong
comes first, even before faith. It emphasizes the Muslim's duty and
implies faith can only be realized by certain actions, which maintains
a relationship between the individual and society.
Neglecting these duties leads to widespread corruption and an increase
in evils that consume the core of the community, such as the
following:
Indifference:Muslims are commanded to play a positive role in their
community and assist in enjoining matters of virtue and preventing
evil by as much as they can. Many Muslims stray away from the right
path because they do not find anyone to assist them and rescue them
from straying in their communities, as those around them act
indifferently. One should not underestimate any input he can give in
such cases and consider the story of the imprisonment of Imaam Ahmadto
see how effective a person can be if he takes the initiative and does
not act indifferently. When Imaam Ahmadwas imprisoned, a thief was
with him in the same cell. The thief said to him, "O Ahmad! I
persevere and tolerate the punishment I receive while I am upon
falsehood and being punished for a sin. Would someone like you, who is
suffering as a result of being upon the truth, not persevere and
endure?" Thus, this thief played an important role in comforting and
consoling Imaam Ahmadin a difficult situation.
Underestimating the harms of intermixing and neglecting to lower the
gaze:If members of a particular community give free rein to their
sight, do not adhere to the Hijaab )Islamic attire for women( and
women wear perfume before leaving their homes, the most obvious
outcome is the spread of immorality in the community. Immoral films,
TV programs, obscene content on the internet and intermixing between
the two sexes are other causes that have led to people committing sins
and indulging in immorality. People nowadays mix with the opposite sex
in universities, schools and workplaces, while Yoonus bin 'Ubaydsaid:
"Never be in seclusion with a woman, even if you wish to teach her the
Quran, and even if only you would be the one reciting."
Being ill-mannered:Many people possess three very evil qualities,
namely: lying, cowardice and miserliness, and these are the worst
three qualities a person can possess. There are also many other evil
qualities that we must be mindful of and hold ourselves to account
regarding, such as backbiting, badmouthing others and tale-bearing,
while replacing them with praiseworthy qualities and morals.
The Salaf )righteous predecessors(would rebuke themselves for every
word they uttered, words which would be considered very normal to
people nowadays. Maalik bin Dhayghansaid,
"Rabaah bin Qays once came asking for my father after the 'Asr prayer,
but he happened to be sleeping, so we informed him of this, to which
he remarked: `Who would sleep at this time of the day?` Then he left.
We sent a man after him to see if he wanted us to wake my father up
for him, but this man did not return until it was time to pray
Maghrib. When we asked him why he returned so late, he said: `I
followed him to ask him, but found that he was headed to the graveyard
while rebuking himself, saying: `What business is it of yours to ask
this kind of question? Why do you ask what does not concern you? What
is it to you when people go to sleep? People are free to sleep any
time they desire, why did you indulge in what does not concern
you?...`'"
Note how lightly such a question would be taken in our time, and how
strongly he rebuked himself for asking it.