Question:
I am currently a 19-year old girl, and compared to many people still
very young. For 2 years now I have been waiting to go to Saudi Arabia
and wanting to perform umrah.
But I have not been able to. I was born a Muslim and a follow Islam
from my own heart. However, I am currently a practicing Muslim and
have been praying namaz everyday for 2 years now. I started wearing
the hijaab 1 year ago.
I have not had a great upbringing and I have not always been perfect.
However, each and everyday when I make duaa, I pray I go to do umrah.
I am now financially stable, and I have not committed any sins and I
believe I am the best I can be at this moment of this life as a
Muslim.
A question that approaches my mind is I ask to be called to Makkah but
have not yet been. Many keep saying you will be called when it is your
time, but I have never wanted anything more. I was meant to come with
someone but he won't take me as he only wants to take his own wife and
child.
Every time I think about umrah I start crying. I had my hopes up and
thought I would go this Ramadan. I currently have no mehram and so no
plans.
I don't know what to do, because I keep getting upset and thinking if
I am being a good Muslim why is my duaa to come to Makkah not being
fulfilled. I do not know if I am being selfish and asking for this.
But I do not know what to do or who to talk to. I find it hard to talk
to family members about this, as I don't think anyone understands me.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah. May Allah's peace and blessings bestow upon our
beloved Prophet, his family, and companions.
Dear Sister,
I pray this finds you in good health and spirits.
I completely sympathize with your desire to visit the House of Allah.
My advice to you about dua is to remember the following:
Dua or supplication is a very powerful means of communicating your
needs and desires to Allah Most High. Don't despair that your prayers
haven't been answered. We cannot guarantee the outcome of our prayers.
Rather, we pray sincerely, take the necessary steps to achieve our
goals, and leave the rest to Allah.
If He has decreed that you will visit His House, then nothing can
prevent you from going. Likewise, if He has decreed that you will not
make umrah, no earthly power can change this.
One of the most important aspects of iman is being contented with
Allah's qadr, or divine decree. If you are not able to make umrah,
then you will not be held responsible. It's important to have the
intention to do umrah because, as the Prophet (peace be upon him)
said, "Actions are according to intentions."
As a young woman, you have to consider the practical aspects of
traveling. The general consensus of the four Sunni schools of law is
that it is impermissible for a woman to undertake a long journey
without a husband or mahram. The Shafi'i and Maliki Schools do allow a
special dispensation for a woman who performs an obligatory hajj (her
first hajj) with a group of upright people.
Umrah is not obligatory for Hanafis, but is an emphasized Sunna. If I
may suggest, it may be better to focus your energies on Hajj. A lot of
people put off Hajj, thinking they'll make it when they're older. The
only problem is they've accumulated so much debt by that time that
they still can't go!
Don't lose hope. You're still young. Focus your energies on
establishing your deen, learning about your religion, and bringing
your life into accord with what the Prophet (peace be upon him) gave
us. Allah willing, this will open up the doors of tawfiq, or true
success.
Allah Most High hears your prayers. He responds in many different ways.
I'm including some links from SunniPath that address the issues of dua
and women's travel:
"Can my aunty's husband (mother's brother in-law) be my mehram?"
http://qa.sunnipath.com /issue_view.asp?HD=1& ID=6485&CATE=143
"The Etiquette of Du'a"
http://qa.sunnipath.com /issue_view.asp?HD=1& ID=2580&CATE=31
"The Prayer of Need (Salat al-Hajah)"
http://www.sunnipath.c om/resources/Questions /qa00001118.aspx
May Allah facilitate your visit to His House, whether it's with a good
husband or a group of trustworthy people.
And Allah knows best.
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Islam is a religion of Mercy, Peace and Blessing. Its teachings emphasize kind hear tedness, help, sympathy, forgiveness, sacrifice, love and care.Qur’an, the Shari’ah and the life of our beloved Prophet (SAW) mirrors this attribute, and it should be reflected in the conduct of a Momin.Islam appreciates those who are kind to their fellow being,and dislikes them who are hard hearted, curt, and hypocrite.Recall that historical moment, when Prophet (SAW) entered Makkah as a conqueror. There was before him a multitude of surrendered enemies, former oppressors and persecutors, who had evicted the Muslims from their homes, deprived them of their belongings, humiliated and intimidated Prophet (SAW) hatched schemes for his murder and tortured and killed his companions. But Prophet (SAW) displayed his usual magnanimity, generosity, and kind heartedness by forgiving all of them and declaring general amnesty...Subhanallah. May Allah help us tailor our life according to the teachings of Islam. (Aameen)./-
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Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Fathwa, - I am impatient and awaiting to perform umrah.
Kids listen to our every deed
How many times have you told your kids to change their clothes/brush
their teeth/do their homework/or anything else for that matter? There
is really no right answer because there is really no limit to the
number of times we have to ask our kids to do something.
For most of us, this is a normal part of our daily lives. We ask, and
ask, and ask, and if we are lucky, our kids cooperate after the fourth
request or after a loud but otherwise harmless scolding. We complain
that our kids never listen to us; we ask other moms how they get their
kids to behave, eat their vegetables, or go to sleep. We consult books
and Internet sites at all hours on better childrearing and discipline
and other parenting techniques. And still, our kids just don't listen.
But, they do observe. While we are yelling at them, they are watching
us; while we argue with our husbands, they are watching; while we
mutter curses under our breath at raging drivers, they are watching;
and while we chat with our friends on the phone, they are watching us.
If you have toddlers, you are beginning to see this already. You see
them carrying on animated conversations on their battery operated toy
cell phones. They pace around the house with their heads cocked, their
little shoulders straining to hold up the fake phone with the blinking
lights. Yup, our kids are watching our every move, even when they
don't listen to one word.
The lessons they learn
The truth is that we shouldn't worry that our children never listen to
us. Instead we should worry that they are always watching us. It is
true. When we tell our kids to pick up their toys, they don't listen.
We raise our voices, and they still ignore us. Then, we become irate
and yell, and they have a temper tantrum or break down into a fit of
tears. But not before they have taken careful note of our actions. In
fact, every time we "tell" our kids to do something, we are teaching
them a lesson. We are telling them to do one thing, but we are really
showing them how to do something else. When we yell at them in anger,
we are showing them how to get someone to listen to us. When we throw
toys into the toy box or kick toys out of the way as we point our
fingers, we are showing them how to display their anger.
And think about when you are driving your kids to school in the
morning. A hurried driver cuts you off and you swerve to avoid getting
side swiped. "Moron!" you yell, as you correct the wheel. You shrug it
off and silently thank Allaah that nothing happened. Your kids in the
back saw what happened. In these situations, we rarely explain to our
kids that the other driver made a mistake by changing lanes without
signaling or by turning right just as we crossed a green light.
Instead, we show them how to handle such situations: curse and
complain.
The lessons we want to teach
It is almost impossible to handle every situation of every day in a
manner befitting for teaching our kids lessons. But if we are aware of
the opportunities )and the impending dangers( of such situations, we
can at least make the most out of as many situations as possible. For
example, we know that disciplining our kids is one of the most
challenging aspects of each day. And, during the course of a day's
worth of disciplining, we find ourselves yelling, getting angry,
scolding, and then usually seeking some sort of repentance for angry
words or sentiments. If we could only see ourselves the way our kids
probably do, we might learn a thing or two.
Well, obviously, we can't see ourselves and we can rarely stop
ourselves in the midst of heat and anger, but we can prepare ourselves
for these moments. If we can decide ahead of time what we want to
teach our kids, we can create a sort of game plan for situations. For
example, we want our kids to learn that they don't have to yell to be
heard. So, the next time you ask your son to pick up his puzzle pieces
and get ready for dinner, brace yourself. If you want him to
understand that he needs to listen to you and comply, then figure out
a way to get him to hear you. Ask him to look at you or get down on
your hands and knees and start showing him how to pick up the pieces
and put them in the box. Do anything but don't yell or scream.
The lessons we learn
If we make a conscious effort to remember that our children are
watching us, it will keep us in check. We will mind our manners, we
will speak more soothingly, we will control our emotions, and
ultimately we will see that, by our kids watching us, we are beginning
to behave the way we want them to behave. In other words, it is a
cycle that eventually trains parents and their children towards better
behavior and emotional restraint. If we know that our kids are
watching our every move, we will be mindful of our behavior and set an
example with that behavior. Then, our kids will model that good
behavior and essentially everyone wins.
Making promises is one of the issues that cause sticky situations for
parents trying to model good behavior. Parents, from all parts of the
world, have their own way of making, keeping and breaking promises. It
is easy to make promises, and it is even easier to break them. Many
times parents make promises on a whim and later find out that they
didn't or couldn't keep to their word. Sometimes, they even forget
altogether that they ever made the promise. How many times have you
told your child, "Yes, yes, Inshaa'allaah )Allaah willing(, I'll get
you that_____]fill in your own word[ soon," just to keep your child
quiet? The moment the words leave your lips, you should consider that
promise cast in stone. A child promised a coveted prize/toy/trip will
never forget that promise and will never let you forget it. Actually,
quite sadly, many children roll their eyes when they hear their
parents say "Inshaa'allaah" for fear that Inshaa'allaah really means
"maybe" or "yeah, right" or a plain "no."
Much of our behavior depends on our intentions. If you really mean to
get that toy for your son, then assure him that you will. If you don't
plan on buying it, then be honest. A dishonest promise might grant you
a few minutes of quiet shopping time, but in the end it will lead you
further into the depths of your child's distrust. Leading children on
with false promises is a guaranteed way to display behavior that your
children will never forget and will probably mimic in their own
adulthood.
In essence, we are designing our children's futures by our own
behavior. Why perpetuate behavior in our children that we ourselves
should not be harboring? Keeping in mind that our children are not
only watching us but learning from us should be reason enough for us
to change our behavior before it is cast in the stone of generations
to come.
their teeth/do their homework/or anything else for that matter? There
is really no right answer because there is really no limit to the
number of times we have to ask our kids to do something.
For most of us, this is a normal part of our daily lives. We ask, and
ask, and ask, and if we are lucky, our kids cooperate after the fourth
request or after a loud but otherwise harmless scolding. We complain
that our kids never listen to us; we ask other moms how they get their
kids to behave, eat their vegetables, or go to sleep. We consult books
and Internet sites at all hours on better childrearing and discipline
and other parenting techniques. And still, our kids just don't listen.
But, they do observe. While we are yelling at them, they are watching
us; while we argue with our husbands, they are watching; while we
mutter curses under our breath at raging drivers, they are watching;
and while we chat with our friends on the phone, they are watching us.
If you have toddlers, you are beginning to see this already. You see
them carrying on animated conversations on their battery operated toy
cell phones. They pace around the house with their heads cocked, their
little shoulders straining to hold up the fake phone with the blinking
lights. Yup, our kids are watching our every move, even when they
don't listen to one word.
The lessons they learn
The truth is that we shouldn't worry that our children never listen to
us. Instead we should worry that they are always watching us. It is
true. When we tell our kids to pick up their toys, they don't listen.
We raise our voices, and they still ignore us. Then, we become irate
and yell, and they have a temper tantrum or break down into a fit of
tears. But not before they have taken careful note of our actions. In
fact, every time we "tell" our kids to do something, we are teaching
them a lesson. We are telling them to do one thing, but we are really
showing them how to do something else. When we yell at them in anger,
we are showing them how to get someone to listen to us. When we throw
toys into the toy box or kick toys out of the way as we point our
fingers, we are showing them how to display their anger.
And think about when you are driving your kids to school in the
morning. A hurried driver cuts you off and you swerve to avoid getting
side swiped. "Moron!" you yell, as you correct the wheel. You shrug it
off and silently thank Allaah that nothing happened. Your kids in the
back saw what happened. In these situations, we rarely explain to our
kids that the other driver made a mistake by changing lanes without
signaling or by turning right just as we crossed a green light.
Instead, we show them how to handle such situations: curse and
complain.
The lessons we want to teach
It is almost impossible to handle every situation of every day in a
manner befitting for teaching our kids lessons. But if we are aware of
the opportunities )and the impending dangers( of such situations, we
can at least make the most out of as many situations as possible. For
example, we know that disciplining our kids is one of the most
challenging aspects of each day. And, during the course of a day's
worth of disciplining, we find ourselves yelling, getting angry,
scolding, and then usually seeking some sort of repentance for angry
words or sentiments. If we could only see ourselves the way our kids
probably do, we might learn a thing or two.
Well, obviously, we can't see ourselves and we can rarely stop
ourselves in the midst of heat and anger, but we can prepare ourselves
for these moments. If we can decide ahead of time what we want to
teach our kids, we can create a sort of game plan for situations. For
example, we want our kids to learn that they don't have to yell to be
heard. So, the next time you ask your son to pick up his puzzle pieces
and get ready for dinner, brace yourself. If you want him to
understand that he needs to listen to you and comply, then figure out
a way to get him to hear you. Ask him to look at you or get down on
your hands and knees and start showing him how to pick up the pieces
and put them in the box. Do anything but don't yell or scream.
The lessons we learn
If we make a conscious effort to remember that our children are
watching us, it will keep us in check. We will mind our manners, we
will speak more soothingly, we will control our emotions, and
ultimately we will see that, by our kids watching us, we are beginning
to behave the way we want them to behave. In other words, it is a
cycle that eventually trains parents and their children towards better
behavior and emotional restraint. If we know that our kids are
watching our every move, we will be mindful of our behavior and set an
example with that behavior. Then, our kids will model that good
behavior and essentially everyone wins.
Making promises is one of the issues that cause sticky situations for
parents trying to model good behavior. Parents, from all parts of the
world, have their own way of making, keeping and breaking promises. It
is easy to make promises, and it is even easier to break them. Many
times parents make promises on a whim and later find out that they
didn't or couldn't keep to their word. Sometimes, they even forget
altogether that they ever made the promise. How many times have you
told your child, "Yes, yes, Inshaa'allaah )Allaah willing(, I'll get
you that_____]fill in your own word[ soon," just to keep your child
quiet? The moment the words leave your lips, you should consider that
promise cast in stone. A child promised a coveted prize/toy/trip will
never forget that promise and will never let you forget it. Actually,
quite sadly, many children roll their eyes when they hear their
parents say "Inshaa'allaah" for fear that Inshaa'allaah really means
"maybe" or "yeah, right" or a plain "no."
Much of our behavior depends on our intentions. If you really mean to
get that toy for your son, then assure him that you will. If you don't
plan on buying it, then be honest. A dishonest promise might grant you
a few minutes of quiet shopping time, but in the end it will lead you
further into the depths of your child's distrust. Leading children on
with false promises is a guaranteed way to display behavior that your
children will never forget and will probably mimic in their own
adulthood.
In essence, we are designing our children's futures by our own
behavior. Why perpetuate behavior in our children that we ourselves
should not be harboring? Keeping in mind that our children are not
only watching us but learning from us should be reason enough for us
to change our behavior before it is cast in the stone of generations
to come.
Parents: Precious Blessings in our Life
Allaah The Almighty has made our parents the means of giving us life
and made them the source of providing us with unparalleled love and a
sound upbringing. However, when we grow up, we tend to forget the
period of our infancy and childhood and disregard their efforts. What
ingratitude can be worse than this?
The very least we can do for our parents is to show goodness and kind
treatment towards them while they are alive, and supplicate for them,
offer charity and other righteous deeds on their behalf after their
death.
Allaah The Almighty mentions the virtues of being good to one's
parents in conjunction with worshipping Him alone when He Says )what
means(:}"And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And
that you are dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them
attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor
shout at them but address them in terms of honour.And lower unto them
the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: `My Lord!
Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was
young.'"{]Quran, 17: 23-24[.
The Prophetclassified being undutiful to parents as one of the great
major sins and mentioned it along with associating partners with
Allaah The Almighty in His worship. Hesaid:"Shall I not inform you
about the most grievous of the grave sins?"His Companions
replied,"Indeed, O Messenger of Allaah!"Hesaid:"Associating anything
with Allaah )in worship(, and being undutiful to parents, )he was
reclining at that time, then he sat up and said(: )beware of( false
testimony or false utterance."He repeated it so many times that his
Companions wished that he would become silent. ]Al-Bukhaari and
Muslim[.
A man came to the Prophetand asked,"Which of the people is most
deserving of my good companionship?"Hereplied:"It is your mother."The
man asked,"Who is next?"Hereplied:"It is your mother."The man then
asked,"Who is next?"Hereplied:"It is your mother."Then the man
asked,"Who is next?"The Prophetreplied:"It is your
father."]Al-Bukhaari[.
Abu Hurayrahnarrated that the Prophetsaid:"Let him be humiliated! Let
him be humiliated! Let him be humiliated!"It was asked,"Who, O
Messenger of Allaah?"Hereplied:"He whose parents reach old age, either
one or both of them, and who does not enter Paradise )due to not being
dutiful to them(."]Muslim[
Dutifulness to parents is one of the reasons behind the forgiveness of
sins. Ibn 'Umarboth, said that a man came to the Prophetand said,"I
have committed a great sin, can I repent from it?"The Prophetasked:"Is
your mother alive?"and in another narration he asked:"Are you parents
alive?"The man replied,"No"so the Prophetasked:"Do you have a maternal
aunt?"The man replied,"Yes"Thereupon, the Prophetsaid:"Then be dutiful
to her."]At-Tirmithi[.
'Ali ibn Abi Taalibsaid,"If there was anything less than this
expression )i.e., saying 'Uff' to one's parents( as a form of being
undutiful, Allaah would have forbidden that expression."Allaah The
Almighty also mentions gratefulness to Him along with being grateful
to one's parents when He says )what means(:"Give thanks to Me and to
your parents. Unto Me is the final destination."]Quran, 31: 14[
These narrations inspire you to be dutiful to your parents and respect
and glorify them. Do not be negligent of the saying of the
Prophet:"The pleasure of the Lord is in pleasing your parents, and the
wrath of the Lord )upon the child( is if he makes them
angry."]At-Tabaraani[.
and made them the source of providing us with unparalleled love and a
sound upbringing. However, when we grow up, we tend to forget the
period of our infancy and childhood and disregard their efforts. What
ingratitude can be worse than this?
The very least we can do for our parents is to show goodness and kind
treatment towards them while they are alive, and supplicate for them,
offer charity and other righteous deeds on their behalf after their
death.
Allaah The Almighty mentions the virtues of being good to one's
parents in conjunction with worshipping Him alone when He Says )what
means(:}"And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And
that you are dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them
attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor
shout at them but address them in terms of honour.And lower unto them
the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: `My Lord!
Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was
young.'"{]Quran, 17: 23-24[.
The Prophetclassified being undutiful to parents as one of the great
major sins and mentioned it along with associating partners with
Allaah The Almighty in His worship. Hesaid:"Shall I not inform you
about the most grievous of the grave sins?"His Companions
replied,"Indeed, O Messenger of Allaah!"Hesaid:"Associating anything
with Allaah )in worship(, and being undutiful to parents, )he was
reclining at that time, then he sat up and said(: )beware of( false
testimony or false utterance."He repeated it so many times that his
Companions wished that he would become silent. ]Al-Bukhaari and
Muslim[.
A man came to the Prophetand asked,"Which of the people is most
deserving of my good companionship?"Hereplied:"It is your mother."The
man asked,"Who is next?"Hereplied:"It is your mother."The man then
asked,"Who is next?"Hereplied:"It is your mother."Then the man
asked,"Who is next?"The Prophetreplied:"It is your
father."]Al-Bukhaari[.
Abu Hurayrahnarrated that the Prophetsaid:"Let him be humiliated! Let
him be humiliated! Let him be humiliated!"It was asked,"Who, O
Messenger of Allaah?"Hereplied:"He whose parents reach old age, either
one or both of them, and who does not enter Paradise )due to not being
dutiful to them(."]Muslim[
Dutifulness to parents is one of the reasons behind the forgiveness of
sins. Ibn 'Umarboth, said that a man came to the Prophetand said,"I
have committed a great sin, can I repent from it?"The Prophetasked:"Is
your mother alive?"and in another narration he asked:"Are you parents
alive?"The man replied,"No"so the Prophetasked:"Do you have a maternal
aunt?"The man replied,"Yes"Thereupon, the Prophetsaid:"Then be dutiful
to her."]At-Tirmithi[.
'Ali ibn Abi Taalibsaid,"If there was anything less than this
expression )i.e., saying 'Uff' to one's parents( as a form of being
undutiful, Allaah would have forbidden that expression."Allaah The
Almighty also mentions gratefulness to Him along with being grateful
to one's parents when He says )what means(:"Give thanks to Me and to
your parents. Unto Me is the final destination."]Quran, 31: 14[
These narrations inspire you to be dutiful to your parents and respect
and glorify them. Do not be negligent of the saying of the
Prophet:"The pleasure of the Lord is in pleasing your parents, and the
wrath of the Lord )upon the child( is if he makes them
angry."]At-Tabaraani[.
Showing respect for customs and traditions
Man is born without any experience and then is influenced by the
customs and traditions from those around him. In this way, customs and
traditions are conveyed from one generation to the next.
Customs and traditions appear in the actions and works practiced by
individuals that is oft-repeated and represents a daily or cyclic
program for their life.
Customs are actions that are a norm for people to do and are repeated
on many different occasions. Traditions involve a new generation
copying the methods of the previous generation and imitating it in
different affairs.
Emergence and Development of Customs and Traditions:
It is difficult to determine the emergence, development and expansion
of customs and traditions because they are parts of the social
activity of individuals in any random sector of society. They do not
appear all of a sudden. On the contrary, it takes years until they
become well-established and even many more years until they change or
evolve.
Customs and traditions often emerge to serve a social function
benefiting all or some individuals in the society. It becomes a social
pattern that helps strengthen social relations among the individuals
of a community. This leads to a collective agreement upon certain
behaviors to be practiced in the community.
Customs and traditions act as a chain whose links are conveyed from
one generation to the next. This conveyance may be accompanied by some
changes through omissions or additions, being positive or negative, in
accordance with the conditions and values of every generation.
Moreover, the social function of the customs or traditions may fade or
even expire as a result of the change of social conditions. But they
survive due to psychological pressure on the individuals who repeat
them and feel that they grant them safety and reassurance and
guarantee their consistency against any new changes.
Women have an important and effective role in spreading customs and
traditions and conveying them from one generation to the next. This
stems from the theory of their great role in disciplining and
maintaining )the family(. For this reason, she bears the greatest
responsibility for adjusting them in accordance with the right Islamic
method. In confirmation of that Allah The Almighty Says )what means(:
•}And, ]moreover[, this is My path, which is straight, so follow it;
and do not follow ]other[ ways, for you will be separated from His
way. This has He instructed you that you may become righteous.{]Quran
6:153[
•}It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and
His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should ]thereafter[
have any choice about their affair. And whoever disobeys Allah and His
Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error.{]Quran 33:36[
The Relationship of the Islamic method with Customs and Traditions:
With the spread of Islam to many countries that each have their own
different customs and traditions, the Islamic method takes three forms
in relation with them:
The first is to support the customs that encourage virtuous principles
and high values and enhancing them according to the eternal Shari'ah
principles. Among these are the neighbor's right, generously hosting
the guest, helping the poor, relieving the needy and assisting the
stranger.
The second is to straighten the customs which have two aspects: one
good and the other bad, by placing emphasis on the good, forbidding
the bad and reforming it according to the Noble Shari'ah.
The third is to resist the straying and misleading customs and
traditions, which oppose its values and principles, and may lead to
gaps in society, disorder of values, the spread of corruption and vice
and the loss of security and tranquility. An example of this is the
practice of girls being buried alive. The Arabs )during the
pre-Islamic days( regarded having a girl as a source of pessimism and
an object of contempt. Then the Quran disapproved of this hideous
custom and protected the girl from this criminal act. He The Almighty
Says )what means(:}And when one of them is informed of ]the birth of[
a female, his face becomes dark, and he suppresses grief. He hides
himself from the people because of the ill of which he has been
informed. Should he keep it in humiliation or bury it in the ground?
Unquestionably, evil is what they decide.{]Quran 16:58-59[
And, the Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"He,
who has a female )daughter( and he does not bury her alive, disgrace
her nor give preference to his male child over her, Allah will Admit
him into Paradise."]Abu Daawood[
Before Islam, the young girl would also suffer from being coerced into
marriage regardless of her will and consent. Thereupon, Islam
glorified her in this respect when the Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu
'alayhi wa sallam, said:"No previously married woman should be given
in marriage without her consent and no virgin should be given in
marriage without her permission."]Muslim[ Before Islam, the young girl
also suffered being deprived of any inheritance. But Islam assigned to
her a right in the inheritance of her father. Allah The Almighty Says
)what means(:}For men is a share of what the parents and close
relatives leave, and for women is a share of what the parents and
close relatives leave, be it little or much - an obligatory
share.{]Quran 4:7[
Bad Customs:
These days, many bad customs have become widespread among the general
population and it is even more widely spread among women. Among these
customs is the intention of seeking to draw closer to Allah The
Almighty using the dead and Awliyaa' )Pious people who are close to
Allah The Almighty( as a medium. Wailing and screaming upon the death
)of a loved one(. Similar bad customs include visiting psychics and
fortune tellers and following their errors, attachment to amulets,
talismans and charms assuming they bring good and avert evil. Also,
Mushaaharah or Kabsah, which is the belief that if a man with a shaved
head carrying meat, red dates, eggplants or similar items enters upon
a confined woman, he would cause the milk to cease to flow )from her
breast( or delay her pregnancy. And, these are examples of bad customs
that do not please Allah The Almighty and His Messenger, sallAllahu
'alayhi wa sallam, like putting on toupees, visiting coiffeurs,
lengthening finger and toe nails, using dyes and colors to adorn them,
lagging behind the latest fashions of clothing )gothic and other
styles that stick out from the norm(, and so on.
The Duty of the Muslim:
To avoid the potential harms of these matters and prevent corruption
due to them, it is the duty of the Muslim to abandon every custom and
tradition that violates even a single principle of the religious
fundamental principles. He must pause to reflect upon all customs and
traditions and weigh them using the balance of the genuine Islamic
method and adjust whatever does not agree with it or comply with its
rules. If there is a custom or tradition that violates one's creed and
opposes one's religion, he should throw it far away without
hesitation, bashfulness or regret. He should flee from bad customs and
evil traditions and rush toward the secure shadows of Islam
entertaining no fear of critics for the Sake of Allah. His pattern
should follow that of the righteous believers in the ages of Islam who
responded to the call of truth and sacrificed what was valuable to
them in support of it.
Fabricating History:
Some historians fabricated this eternal image of the great men and
leaders of this Ummah. They presented the Muslim caliphs in a light of
men whose main concern was only food and drink, to the extent that it
is attributed to Mu'aawiyah ibn Abi Sufyaan, the Companion of the
Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, that he would eat
very compulsively. This is something unimaginable even from cattle,
let alone from a revered Companion who learnt in the school of the
Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, that a man should
not eat and drink in excess. They also represent to us such a caliph
as Haaroon Ar-Rasheed, as a man who loved women and drank alcoholic
drinks, and so on. All this is attributed to a man who, in his age,
witnessed many conquests, was himself a Mujaahid )one who strives with
his wealth and life in the Path of Allah, The Almighty(, a devout
worshipper of Allah, pious and righteous.
It is obvious from the biographies of such personalities that what has
been said about them are no more than invented lies whose initiatory
purpose is to distort the image of Islam through the character
assassination of its caliphs. As a result, they attempt to claim that
their customs and traditions appear to be in opposition to the innate
human common sense so that the Ummah would criticize its symbols and
celebratory figures. Afterwards, they would have nothing worthy of
mentioning for themselves in the history of mankind. Resentful
criminal historians distorted not only the image of men, but the
believing women as well. During the pre-Islamic days, they would let
their head covers hang down from behind their heads, uncovering their
breasts, necks and collars.
With the emergence of Islam and its spreading light, Allah The
Almighty Says, addressing the women by way of disciplining )what
means(:}and to wrap ]a portion of[ their headcovers over their
chests.{]Quran 24:31[. Upon which, the men turned to their wives to
recite to them what had been revealed by Allah The Almighty in order
to guide them and there was no woman but that she caught hold of her
sheet )of wool( and covered her head )and face( with trust and belief
in the clear Verses revealed by Allah The Almighty. In the morning,
they performed the morning prayer behind the Messenger of Allah,
sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, with their heads covered and motionless,
as if there were crows perched on their heads. ]Abu Daawood and Ibn
Abi Haatim[. But the people represented their behavior as retardation
and not in harmony with the advanced time. Rather, they had their
women come out half-dressed as if they were nude, in order that the
dissolute wolves )amongst men( would quench their craving by the
unlawful glance, and whatever consequent traces of her body he may
recall.
Inherited customs and traditions are among the affairs that are the
most detrimental upon the religion of Allah The Almighty because they
are habitual, the soul inclines to them, the people agree with them
and it is difficult to abandon them. From this point of view, it is
incumbent upon the Muslim to discard anything that opposes the Islamic
Sharee'ah and play an effective role in changing and virtuously
protecting his community in order that its customs and traditions
would be compatible with the Sharee'ah of Allah The Almighty. Men and
women are equal in this respect, perchance the children would rise as
a strong generation, carrying the torch of Islam, and enlightening the
way for all people.
customs and traditions from those around him. In this way, customs and
traditions are conveyed from one generation to the next.
Customs and traditions appear in the actions and works practiced by
individuals that is oft-repeated and represents a daily or cyclic
program for their life.
Customs are actions that are a norm for people to do and are repeated
on many different occasions. Traditions involve a new generation
copying the methods of the previous generation and imitating it in
different affairs.
Emergence and Development of Customs and Traditions:
It is difficult to determine the emergence, development and expansion
of customs and traditions because they are parts of the social
activity of individuals in any random sector of society. They do not
appear all of a sudden. On the contrary, it takes years until they
become well-established and even many more years until they change or
evolve.
Customs and traditions often emerge to serve a social function
benefiting all or some individuals in the society. It becomes a social
pattern that helps strengthen social relations among the individuals
of a community. This leads to a collective agreement upon certain
behaviors to be practiced in the community.
Customs and traditions act as a chain whose links are conveyed from
one generation to the next. This conveyance may be accompanied by some
changes through omissions or additions, being positive or negative, in
accordance with the conditions and values of every generation.
Moreover, the social function of the customs or traditions may fade or
even expire as a result of the change of social conditions. But they
survive due to psychological pressure on the individuals who repeat
them and feel that they grant them safety and reassurance and
guarantee their consistency against any new changes.
Women have an important and effective role in spreading customs and
traditions and conveying them from one generation to the next. This
stems from the theory of their great role in disciplining and
maintaining )the family(. For this reason, she bears the greatest
responsibility for adjusting them in accordance with the right Islamic
method. In confirmation of that Allah The Almighty Says )what means(:
•}And, ]moreover[, this is My path, which is straight, so follow it;
and do not follow ]other[ ways, for you will be separated from His
way. This has He instructed you that you may become righteous.{]Quran
6:153[
•}It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and
His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should ]thereafter[
have any choice about their affair. And whoever disobeys Allah and His
Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error.{]Quran 33:36[
The Relationship of the Islamic method with Customs and Traditions:
With the spread of Islam to many countries that each have their own
different customs and traditions, the Islamic method takes three forms
in relation with them:
The first is to support the customs that encourage virtuous principles
and high values and enhancing them according to the eternal Shari'ah
principles. Among these are the neighbor's right, generously hosting
the guest, helping the poor, relieving the needy and assisting the
stranger.
The second is to straighten the customs which have two aspects: one
good and the other bad, by placing emphasis on the good, forbidding
the bad and reforming it according to the Noble Shari'ah.
The third is to resist the straying and misleading customs and
traditions, which oppose its values and principles, and may lead to
gaps in society, disorder of values, the spread of corruption and vice
and the loss of security and tranquility. An example of this is the
practice of girls being buried alive. The Arabs )during the
pre-Islamic days( regarded having a girl as a source of pessimism and
an object of contempt. Then the Quran disapproved of this hideous
custom and protected the girl from this criminal act. He The Almighty
Says )what means(:}And when one of them is informed of ]the birth of[
a female, his face becomes dark, and he suppresses grief. He hides
himself from the people because of the ill of which he has been
informed. Should he keep it in humiliation or bury it in the ground?
Unquestionably, evil is what they decide.{]Quran 16:58-59[
And, the Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:"He,
who has a female )daughter( and he does not bury her alive, disgrace
her nor give preference to his male child over her, Allah will Admit
him into Paradise."]Abu Daawood[
Before Islam, the young girl would also suffer from being coerced into
marriage regardless of her will and consent. Thereupon, Islam
glorified her in this respect when the Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu
'alayhi wa sallam, said:"No previously married woman should be given
in marriage without her consent and no virgin should be given in
marriage without her permission."]Muslim[ Before Islam, the young girl
also suffered being deprived of any inheritance. But Islam assigned to
her a right in the inheritance of her father. Allah The Almighty Says
)what means(:}For men is a share of what the parents and close
relatives leave, and for women is a share of what the parents and
close relatives leave, be it little or much - an obligatory
share.{]Quran 4:7[
Bad Customs:
These days, many bad customs have become widespread among the general
population and it is even more widely spread among women. Among these
customs is the intention of seeking to draw closer to Allah The
Almighty using the dead and Awliyaa' )Pious people who are close to
Allah The Almighty( as a medium. Wailing and screaming upon the death
)of a loved one(. Similar bad customs include visiting psychics and
fortune tellers and following their errors, attachment to amulets,
talismans and charms assuming they bring good and avert evil. Also,
Mushaaharah or Kabsah, which is the belief that if a man with a shaved
head carrying meat, red dates, eggplants or similar items enters upon
a confined woman, he would cause the milk to cease to flow )from her
breast( or delay her pregnancy. And, these are examples of bad customs
that do not please Allah The Almighty and His Messenger, sallAllahu
'alayhi wa sallam, like putting on toupees, visiting coiffeurs,
lengthening finger and toe nails, using dyes and colors to adorn them,
lagging behind the latest fashions of clothing )gothic and other
styles that stick out from the norm(, and so on.
The Duty of the Muslim:
To avoid the potential harms of these matters and prevent corruption
due to them, it is the duty of the Muslim to abandon every custom and
tradition that violates even a single principle of the religious
fundamental principles. He must pause to reflect upon all customs and
traditions and weigh them using the balance of the genuine Islamic
method and adjust whatever does not agree with it or comply with its
rules. If there is a custom or tradition that violates one's creed and
opposes one's religion, he should throw it far away without
hesitation, bashfulness or regret. He should flee from bad customs and
evil traditions and rush toward the secure shadows of Islam
entertaining no fear of critics for the Sake of Allah. His pattern
should follow that of the righteous believers in the ages of Islam who
responded to the call of truth and sacrificed what was valuable to
them in support of it.
Fabricating History:
Some historians fabricated this eternal image of the great men and
leaders of this Ummah. They presented the Muslim caliphs in a light of
men whose main concern was only food and drink, to the extent that it
is attributed to Mu'aawiyah ibn Abi Sufyaan, the Companion of the
Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, that he would eat
very compulsively. This is something unimaginable even from cattle,
let alone from a revered Companion who learnt in the school of the
Messenger of Allah, sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, that a man should
not eat and drink in excess. They also represent to us such a caliph
as Haaroon Ar-Rasheed, as a man who loved women and drank alcoholic
drinks, and so on. All this is attributed to a man who, in his age,
witnessed many conquests, was himself a Mujaahid )one who strives with
his wealth and life in the Path of Allah, The Almighty(, a devout
worshipper of Allah, pious and righteous.
It is obvious from the biographies of such personalities that what has
been said about them are no more than invented lies whose initiatory
purpose is to distort the image of Islam through the character
assassination of its caliphs. As a result, they attempt to claim that
their customs and traditions appear to be in opposition to the innate
human common sense so that the Ummah would criticize its symbols and
celebratory figures. Afterwards, they would have nothing worthy of
mentioning for themselves in the history of mankind. Resentful
criminal historians distorted not only the image of men, but the
believing women as well. During the pre-Islamic days, they would let
their head covers hang down from behind their heads, uncovering their
breasts, necks and collars.
With the emergence of Islam and its spreading light, Allah The
Almighty Says, addressing the women by way of disciplining )what
means(:}and to wrap ]a portion of[ their headcovers over their
chests.{]Quran 24:31[. Upon which, the men turned to their wives to
recite to them what had been revealed by Allah The Almighty in order
to guide them and there was no woman but that she caught hold of her
sheet )of wool( and covered her head )and face( with trust and belief
in the clear Verses revealed by Allah The Almighty. In the morning,
they performed the morning prayer behind the Messenger of Allah,
sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam, with their heads covered and motionless,
as if there were crows perched on their heads. ]Abu Daawood and Ibn
Abi Haatim[. But the people represented their behavior as retardation
and not in harmony with the advanced time. Rather, they had their
women come out half-dressed as if they were nude, in order that the
dissolute wolves )amongst men( would quench their craving by the
unlawful glance, and whatever consequent traces of her body he may
recall.
Inherited customs and traditions are among the affairs that are the
most detrimental upon the religion of Allah The Almighty because they
are habitual, the soul inclines to them, the people agree with them
and it is difficult to abandon them. From this point of view, it is
incumbent upon the Muslim to discard anything that opposes the Islamic
Sharee'ah and play an effective role in changing and virtuously
protecting his community in order that its customs and traditions
would be compatible with the Sharee'ah of Allah The Almighty. Men and
women are equal in this respect, perchance the children would rise as
a strong generation, carrying the torch of Islam, and enlightening the
way for all people.
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