Fathwa, - Child's best interests should determine who takes custody of it

Question
My question is regarding the custody of a child when the parents
divorced. I have recently asked for a release from my husband while
being pregnant. I am having difficulty understanding the custody
situation in the issue that comes with divorce. The man that I married
came from Yemen for medical reasons and during this time he took me as
his third wife. When I asked for the release, the only question that
went through my mind was the custody of my daughter. He has told me
that he has more right to take her because he lives in a Muslim
country while I live here in America. At first I was very troubled by
this and became emotional on this matter and turned to Allah for help.
Over time I have came to the conclusion that it may actually be best
to have my daughter raised in an Islamic society at a very young age.
Being a revert I understand how difficult it is to adapt to new things
and to forget the old and I would never want my children to be in a
time of difficult decision if I can help it. My ex-husband has told me
that he would not take her from me until maybe the age of two... once
more the emotional roller coaster arrives. It's a bit different if he
lived down the road but seeing as though he is in another country and
he hardly has the money to send his family back to visit their family
it worries me about the heart ache I may endure from raising a child
for two years to have her just leave in one day. He has not talked to
me about financial support during this time because his solution is
simply to let her go to him and I personally do not have the money
myself to take care of two children )one from a previous relationship(
With this a new question arrives. Is it permissible for me to give my
child to him at an earlier age )say six months( can he deny the child
or is it an obligation for him to take her even without me getting
remarried? I want what is best for my child, and I know that he is a
very good father and I hold nothing
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that
Muhammadis His slave and Messenger.
First of all, you should know that it is not permissible for a wife to
ask her husband for divorce except in certain cases that we clarified
in Fatwa 131953. Even if we assume that a wife has a sound reason to
ask for divorce from her husband, she should not hasten to it, as the
benefit might not always be in divorce; rather, she should be patient
as much as she can, especially if they have children.
If divorce takes place, the mother has the right to custody of her
children as long as she does not remarry as clarified in Fatwa 82128.
If she remarries, custody moves to the female who is more deserving of
the custody of the child among the female relatives according to the
order mentioned by the jurists, which we clarified in Fatwa 84618.
On the other hand, the majority of the scholars are of the view that
if one of the parents travels to another location to live and settle
there, the custody is for the father. The father is even more entitled
to custody if he is moving to a Muslim country as it is dangerous to
the religion of the children to reside in a non-Muslim country where
there are many causes for temptation, in addition to the freedom that
has no limits. For more benefit on the danger of residing in a
non-Muslim country to the upbringing of Muslim children, please refer
to Fatwa 179175.
However, some scholars differentiated in this regard between an infant
who is still breastfeeding and other children. They are of the view
that the infant should not be taken away from his mother since he
needs her care; this is due to the harm that is inflicted on the
infant and his mother by taking him away from her, and because Islam
has taken into consideration the interests of the child. After
mentioning the statements of the scholars in this regard,Ibn
Al-Qayyimsaid in Zaad Al-Ma'aad: "All these statements are not based
upon evidence that comforts the heart as you see; the correct view is
to look into the matter and consider the interests of the child and
what is best for him, either keeping him where he already resides or
moving him to another location. It is what is more beneficial for him
and what better protects him that should be taken into account, and
residing in the same location or moving to another one has no effect."
As regards your question whether or not your husband has the right to
refuse custody, then the answer to this question is based on the
following issue over which the scholars differed: Is custody the right
of the custodian or the right of the child?Ibn Al-Qayyimsaid: "The
jurists differed in opinion over custody; is it a right for the
custodian or a duty upon him? There are two opinions in this regard
according to the Maaliki and Hanbali Schools of Jurisprudence;
accordingly, can the one who has the right of custody renounce it?
There are two opinions in this regard."
In any case, the father is obligated to spend on the child whether the
child is in his custody or in its mother's custody.
Finally, we advise you to try to reach a mutual understanding with
your husband about what is better for your daughter and opting for
what is best for her and renouncing your right for the benefit of your
daughter. But if there is a dispute, then it is better to take the
matter to an authority that is specialized in studying the matters of
the Muslims like the Islamic Centers. This is of course if we assume
that divorce has taken place, otherwise if it is possible to reconcile
and continue the marital relationship, then this is more appropriate
as we have already mentioned.
Allaah Knows best.

Fathwa, - When teeth bleeding necessitates washing mouth

Question
salaam aleikoum dear shaykh, Many times when I use a stick to clean my
teeth in the car they bleed, then i get veru distressed because blood
is najis. Can I get rid of this blood by spitting it out and then it's
taahir/clean or it it required that I first go to a bathroom and clean
it with water to not extend the najasah with is in my mouth? jazaka
Allahu gairan. wassalamoe aleikoum
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad,
is His Slave and Messenger.
If the blood is much and flows in a way that it is difficult for you
to wash it whenever it bleeds, then it is sufficient for you to spit
it and you are not required to wash it; otherwise, wash it because the
basic ruling is that it is obligatory to wash the mouth from impurity
as stated in Mughni Al-Muhtaaj: "The mouth should be washed from
impurity."
Asnaa Al-Mataalib which is one of the Shaafi'i books reads:
"Al-Athra'i said that it is likely that whoever suffers a lot from gum
bleeding, to the extent that it always or often occurs, he is excused
due to having what is difficult for him to avoid, and it is sufficient
for him to spit it, and its remnants are also pardoned, and he is not
obliged to wash the blood all day because it is assumed that the gum
always bleeds or bleeds from time to another and it may increase if he
washes it." ]End quote[
Similarly, Fat-h Al-'Aliyy Al-Maalik which is one of the Maaliki books
reads: ")I have received this question:( "What is your opinion
regarding the one whose gums or teeth bleed uncontrollably, is it
obligatory on him to spit it? Is he commanded to wash blood from his
mouth? Or if he swallows it while he is fasting, will that break his
fasting or what is the solution? Please, answer us." I have answered
that question saying: "All perfect praise be to Allaah and peace and
blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, the Messenger of Allaah. If
that bleeding is abundant and does not stop, then it will be pardoned
and one will not be ordered to spit it or wash it."" ]End quote[
Allaah Knows best.

Fathwa, - Marriage of a Muslim man to an apostate woman is invalid

Question
Assalam alaykum. There is a muslim lady who got married with a
christian, and that lady became christian too, and they have 3
children. There is a muslim man who want to take her from that
christian man and marry her in order to persuade her to come back to
islam. If that lady acceptes to come back to islam and get married
with that muslim man, so is that allowed in Islam? THANKS
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad,
is His Slave and Messenger.
Marriage of a Muslim woman to a non-Muslim man is invalid according to
the consensus of Muslim scholars. Also, the marriage of a Muslim man
to an apostate woman is invalid.Ibn Qudaamahsaid: "It is prohibited to
marry an apostate woman, no matter what religion she adopts; because
it is not proved for her the ruling of the people of the religion to
which she converted by one's approval of her doing so. Based on this,
it is not lawful for him to marry her with greater reason." ]Al-Mughni
7/131[
Accordingly, it is not permissible for that Muslim man to marry that
apostate woman unless she repents, returns to Islam, separates from
her non-Muslim husband, and her waiting period ends or it becomes
clear that she is not pregnant from him. If that man hopes that she
would return to Islam, he should strive hard to call her to Islam
through some righteous Muslim women and not to handle that matter
himself.Allaah Knows best.

Hope is the Elixir of Life

Please join us in mediating on what motivates a farmer to work hard
and sweat. It is the hope of harvesting. What urges a merchant to
travel, adventure and leave his people and home? It is the hope of
getting revenues. What encourages a student to study hard and remain
awake for hours? It is the hope for success. What motivates a soldier
to fight desperately and endure the hardships of war patiently? It is
the hope for victory. What makes a patient like bitter medicine? It is
his hope for health. What calls a believer to disobey his desires and
obey his Lord? It is the hope of winning the Pleasure and Paradise of
Allaah The Almighty.
Hope, then, is a motivating power that makes one feel delighted when
working, that provides the stimulus for struggling for the sake of
duty and which enlivens body and soul. This power encourages lazy
people to work hard and urges hardworking people to remain as such. It
also stimulates the failing person to try repeatedly until he
succeeds, and encourages the successful person to double his efforts
to be more successful. The hope which we are talking about here is the
opposite of despair; it carries meanings of cheerfulness and good
thoughts. Despair is the demolishing tool that destroys the work
motive in man's soul and weakens the sources of strength in his body.
Therefore, Ibn Mas'oodsaid, "Destruction lies in two things: despair
and conceit." Imaam Al-Ghazaalisaid, "They were mentioned together
because happiness cannot be obtained except through endeavor, hard
work, and diligence; a despairing person neither seeks nor endeavors,
because what he hopes for is impossible in his eyes."
Faith Infuses Hope in the Soul
Faith infuses hope in the soul and defends it against despair and
sorrow. A faithful person believes that everything is at the hands of
Allaah The Almighty. Accordingly, he thinks good of his Lord and
aspires for His reward taking into consideration the Sacred Hadeeth in
which Allaah The Almighty Says: "I am as My slave thinks I am…"
How can despair sneak into a believer's heart while he reads the
Quranic verses )which mean(:
}And despair not of relief from Allaah. Indeed, no one despairs of
relief from Allaah except the disbelieving people."{]Quran 12:87[
}And who despairs of the Mercy of his Lord except for those
astray?{]Quran 15:56[
If a servant is a real believer, he will never despair; rather, he
will be always cheerful, satisfied, and looking forward to what is
better in all cases and under all circumstances. The Prophetsaid: "How
wondrous is the case of a believer! There is good for him in
everything. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to
Allaah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he
endures patiently and that is good for him." How, then, could a true
believer despair while he is promised of goodness in all
circumstances?
His true faith makes him feel that Allaah The Almighty is with him and
that He will support and protect him, consequently:
If he gets sick, he would hope for recovery and reward. Allaah the
Almighty says )what means(:}And when I am ill, it is He who cures
me.{]Quran 26:80[
If he commits a sin, he would repent to Allaah The Almighty
immediately in the hope that Allaah The Exalted would forgive and have
mercy upon him. In such a case, he would keep the following Quranic
verse in his mind )which
If he suffers distress or hardship, he would be certain that this
would end soon since Allaah the Almighty Said )what means(:}For
indeed, with hardship ]will be[ ease. Indeed, with hardship ]will be[
ease.{]Quran 94:5,6[ Of course, one
A believer always has great hope for the mercy, relief, and support of
Allaah The Almighty. This is because he does not count on material
means only, but also believes that these means have a Creator in Whose
Hand is the dominion of all things, and when He decrees a matter, He
only Says to it, "Kun )i.e. Be(," and it is. Hence, a believer's heart
is filled with trust in Allaah The Almighty and hope for gaining His
Mercy. This is exactly what the disbelievers lack, thus we see them
commit suicide and suffer many psychological diseases. We ask Allaah
to protect us against this.
How Difficult Life Would be Without Hope
Hope is necessary for achieving progress in all fields. Without hope,
civilizations would not have been built and science and technology
would never have progressed. Without hope, nations would have never
overcome times of distress and no call for reforming a society would
have been made. In the past, a sage said, "Without hope, none would
have built a building or planted a plant."
Hence, O believer, think good of your Lord, hope for gaining His
reward and support. If you suffer a distress or hardship, be patient
and be sure that wherever there is a difficulty, certainly there would
be ease. So, be patient and courageous, seek support from Allaah The
Almighty, and do not lose heart!