Fathwa, - Marriage of a Muslim man to an apostate woman is invalid

Question
Assalam alaykum. There is a muslim lady who got married with a
christian, and that lady became christian too, and they have 3
children. There is a muslim man who want to take her from that
christian man and marry her in order to persuade her to come back to
islam. If that lady acceptes to come back to islam and get married
with that muslim man, so is that allowed in Islam? THANKS
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad,
is His Slave and Messenger.
Marriage of a Muslim woman to a non-Muslim man is invalid according to
the consensus of Muslim scholars. Also, the marriage of a Muslim man
to an apostate woman is invalid.Ibn Qudaamahsaid: "It is prohibited to
marry an apostate woman, no matter what religion she adopts; because
it is not proved for her the ruling of the people of the religion to
which she converted by one's approval of her doing so. Based on this,
it is not lawful for him to marry her with greater reason." ]Al-Mughni
7/131[
Accordingly, it is not permissible for that Muslim man to marry that
apostate woman unless she repents, returns to Islam, separates from
her non-Muslim husband, and her waiting period ends or it becomes
clear that she is not pregnant from him. If that man hopes that she
would return to Islam, he should strive hard to call her to Islam
through some righteous Muslim women and not to handle that matter
himself.Allaah Knows best.

Hope is the Elixir of Life

Please join us in mediating on what motivates a farmer to work hard
and sweat. It is the hope of harvesting. What urges a merchant to
travel, adventure and leave his people and home? It is the hope of
getting revenues. What encourages a student to study hard and remain
awake for hours? It is the hope for success. What motivates a soldier
to fight desperately and endure the hardships of war patiently? It is
the hope for victory. What makes a patient like bitter medicine? It is
his hope for health. What calls a believer to disobey his desires and
obey his Lord? It is the hope of winning the Pleasure and Paradise of
Allaah The Almighty.
Hope, then, is a motivating power that makes one feel delighted when
working, that provides the stimulus for struggling for the sake of
duty and which enlivens body and soul. This power encourages lazy
people to work hard and urges hardworking people to remain as such. It
also stimulates the failing person to try repeatedly until he
succeeds, and encourages the successful person to double his efforts
to be more successful. The hope which we are talking about here is the
opposite of despair; it carries meanings of cheerfulness and good
thoughts. Despair is the demolishing tool that destroys the work
motive in man's soul and weakens the sources of strength in his body.
Therefore, Ibn Mas'oodsaid, "Destruction lies in two things: despair
and conceit." Imaam Al-Ghazaalisaid, "They were mentioned together
because happiness cannot be obtained except through endeavor, hard
work, and diligence; a despairing person neither seeks nor endeavors,
because what he hopes for is impossible in his eyes."
Faith Infuses Hope in the Soul
Faith infuses hope in the soul and defends it against despair and
sorrow. A faithful person believes that everything is at the hands of
Allaah The Almighty. Accordingly, he thinks good of his Lord and
aspires for His reward taking into consideration the Sacred Hadeeth in
which Allaah The Almighty Says: "I am as My slave thinks I am…"
How can despair sneak into a believer's heart while he reads the
Quranic verses )which mean(:
}And despair not of relief from Allaah. Indeed, no one despairs of
relief from Allaah except the disbelieving people."{]Quran 12:87[
}And who despairs of the Mercy of his Lord except for those
astray?{]Quran 15:56[
If a servant is a real believer, he will never despair; rather, he
will be always cheerful, satisfied, and looking forward to what is
better in all cases and under all circumstances. The Prophetsaid: "How
wondrous is the case of a believer! There is good for him in
everything. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to
Allaah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he
endures patiently and that is good for him." How, then, could a true
believer despair while he is promised of goodness in all
circumstances?
His true faith makes him feel that Allaah The Almighty is with him and
that He will support and protect him, consequently:
If he gets sick, he would hope for recovery and reward. Allaah the
Almighty says )what means(:}And when I am ill, it is He who cures
me.{]Quran 26:80[
If he commits a sin, he would repent to Allaah The Almighty
immediately in the hope that Allaah The Exalted would forgive and have
mercy upon him. In such a case, he would keep the following Quranic
verse in his mind )which
If he suffers distress or hardship, he would be certain that this
would end soon since Allaah the Almighty Said )what means(:}For
indeed, with hardship ]will be[ ease. Indeed, with hardship ]will be[
ease.{]Quran 94:5,6[ Of course, one
A believer always has great hope for the mercy, relief, and support of
Allaah The Almighty. This is because he does not count on material
means only, but also believes that these means have a Creator in Whose
Hand is the dominion of all things, and when He decrees a matter, He
only Says to it, "Kun )i.e. Be(," and it is. Hence, a believer's heart
is filled with trust in Allaah The Almighty and hope for gaining His
Mercy. This is exactly what the disbelievers lack, thus we see them
commit suicide and suffer many psychological diseases. We ask Allaah
to protect us against this.
How Difficult Life Would be Without Hope
Hope is necessary for achieving progress in all fields. Without hope,
civilizations would not have been built and science and technology
would never have progressed. Without hope, nations would have never
overcome times of distress and no call for reforming a society would
have been made. In the past, a sage said, "Without hope, none would
have built a building or planted a plant."
Hence, O believer, think good of your Lord, hope for gaining His
reward and support. If you suffer a distress or hardship, be patient
and be sure that wherever there is a difficulty, certainly there would
be ease. So, be patient and courageous, seek support from Allaah The
Almighty, and do not lose heart!

The Absolute Submission

Allaah Says )what means(: }And it is not ]possible[ for one to die
except by permission of Allaah at a decree determined..{ ]Quran 3:145[
The eternity we all wish for, Muslim or Non-Muslim, is everlasting
life in Heaven, Paradise, the Garden of Eden, the Blue Yonder,
whatever you want to call it, with its beauty, splendor, ease, and
closeness to the Divine Light of our Creator, but who is willing to
make sure that the lilt of their voice is recognized when they are
lying amongst white sheets with tubes fixed, cloudy eyes staring,
barely able to lift a finger to make the Shahadah, doctors and nurses
rushing around in their futile dealings, all those involved anxiously
awaiting the inevitable moment.
Which beliefs will bring you comfort at that intersection of life and
extinction? The belief that this is it and there is no more? Can you
really reconcile your fleeting lifetime to this thought, and not feel
that your life had no meaning? We are warned that if we are not ready
for death, if our connection to this lifetime is too strong, that at
that precise moment when we need Allaah, we might end up pushing Him
away in blinding fright, clawing at the shreds of lifetime we recall
in our stupor of death. This scenario could result in an eternity; I
will say it again, an eternity of punishment in Hell }definition -
)i-tur-ni-tee( adj 1. infinite time, past or future 2. the endless
period of life after death{. You know, fire hotter than any 70 fires
in the lifetime, smoke, ash, boiling fluids to drink... alright,
alright, I'll leave the rest to your lively imagination.
My point is, who will you call upon and expect an answer? How can you
call on Allaah when He doesn't recognize the sound of your voice? How
late is too late?
To feed my ever-constant yearning for tidbits on our earthly
departure, I stayed up recently, way past my bedtime, to watch a
documentary about death. They showed a series of people who were close
to death, young and old, and how the living around them reacted to
their slow weaning off of this life. There was a current of palpable
dread coming through the TV directly into my living room as the
families surrounded their loved ones, struggling with their own
mortality. The patients' faces were white, frozen, mouth drooping
open, with no strength left, the muscles no longer willing to obey the
commands of the brain to pull the jaw closed, unaware of the clamor
around them, stripped bare, as all is peeled away at death. It was
then that I realized that these valiant attempts to heal were for the
living, and that those passing on were fighting a whole different
battle. They looked calm on the outside, but we are told that they are
in turmoil, agony, at the time of death.
Where is the line between living and dying? Does the spirit know
before the body does? Let's stop right now to see how fine a line this
is. Take a minute and hold your hand over your mouth and nose, letting
no air in or out. Okay, now hold it...hold it... hold it.... there,
now breathe—ahhh that wonderful elixir of existence. That was a small
taste of death; the simple, but complex tightrope we walk every day.
The fact that we have life speaks to something vivid that must fade,
like calico patterns left to bleach in the sun. No one wants to die;
Allaah chooses who lives and dies and this is written before we are
born. The critical point is not when, but how you die. Will it be the
good, peaceful death, being eased out of your shell like a drop of
water from a jug, eager to meet your Lord, or the reluctant passage
out, being yanked, kicking and screaming, like a swatch of wool being
pulled from a thorny branch, in paralyzing fear of Divine retribution?
I know which one I am going to work for in the time allotted to me.
In my very early years as a Muslim, I had a brother die in his sleep.
He was only 50 years old at the time; and, unaware of his imminent
fate, went to bed and never woke up. That sobering event had a
profound effect on me, and put me on a quest to learn all I could
about the "destroyer of pleasures." After that time, I never missed my
prayers before sleep. Whether Allaah gives us a long illness with
purification and a chance to make amends, or He takes us suddenly like
my brother, we need to be ready. I realized then that no matter who
you are or what you own, at that precise moment of death, it is
between you and your Lord. We have all heard the Prophetic saying that
three things follow you to your grave; your family, your possessions,
and your deeds. The first two come back, leaving only your deeds to
speak to how you lived your life, but do we really internalize this
and live it every moment? Ask anyone who has had a car accident how
quickly lives can change—it's an instant, and we must be ready with
good works and remembrance of Allaah waiting for us in our personal
`Ethereal Bank'.
For Muslims born into the religion, this will be your reality also.
You are not immune to the trappings of death and its suffering and
there are no guarantees on that day. For converts to this beautiful
religion, do you want your non-Muslim families making your decisions
for you at that moment, or the strength of your Lord lovingly watching
over you because He knew your pleading voice in the lifetime. For
non-Muslims, the Mercy of our Creator is given to all on Earth until
death, and then it is reserved for those who believed and called on
Him at all times.
If these words caused a ripple in the folds of your heart, then take
time right now to connect to the Merciful, the Compassionate One... He
is waiting for you.

Milestones on the path ofdutifulness to parents

There is no doubt that parents play an effective role in preventing
their children from being undutiful. As it is known that prevention is
better than cure, we advise noble parents who play the greatest role
in this important process, to prepare youth and prevent them from
being undutiful.
The family is the first incubator where the adolescent grows up and
receives an upbringing. Hence, it has a far-reaching effect on the
upbringing of children. It is sufficient to know that children act in
a way that conforms to their environment. So, the environment forms
the way in which the child learns his behavior. If adolescents grow up
with a sense of righteousness and gratitude, undoubtedly, this would
greatly affect them.
The following are some of the important means that parents should use
while building the wall to prevent undutifulness:
1-Extreme warning: An extreme warning lies in bringing up the children
to be undutiful. Perhaps some people wonder about this warning. Yes,
there are parents who plant the bomb which soon explodes. For example,
some families express happiness when the child grows and is able to
speak and move. Consequently, they tell him to beat or insult one of
the parents. They mix jest with seriousness causing the disruption of
the child's moral standards. They are not aware that they are
implanting in the innocent little child, at a very young age,
disrespect to parents. This is the way it has always been, and always
will be.
2-Keenness on teaching the child the parents' favors: It is a key step
on the way of preventing undutifulness. It is to raise the children to
be accustomed to respecting and realizing the status and favor of
their parents. Ignorance of the status of parents and consequent
punishment for being undutiful to them will lead the children to be
undutiful.
3-To be equally dutiful to you: Some parents are trapped in
discrimination by favoring some of their children to others. This is
plain injustice. Therefore,Sharee'ah)Islamic legislation( strongly
forbids this matter and warns of its bad consequences. When Basheer
ibn Sa'dcame to the Prophet,, to give his son An-Nu'maan a gift; the
Prophet,, asked:"'Did you give all your children gifts like
An-Nu'maan?'He said, 'No.' The Prophetsaid:'So, look for another
witness. Do you not like them )your children( to be equally dutiful to
you?'"]Al-Albaani:Saheeh[
Steps of treatment
After dealing with the gravity of undutifulness and suggesting some
methods to prevent it, we should talk about the steps of treatment,
which are:
1-Virtues and punishments: This is one of the foremost steps which the
person who seeks dutifulness should have in mind and realize. One
could change from one state to another if he finds a strong motive.
Undoubtedly, knowing and remembering the fruits of dutifulness will be
one of the best incentives to practice it. Similarly, contemplating
the bad consequences of undutifulness and the resulting distress and
grief in the worldly life before the Hereafter will help one be
dutiful and keep away from undutifulness.
2-Good friends: You should have good friends who correct your mistakes
and inform you about the consequences of your actions. If good company
is sought in the course of worldly journeys and travel, what should be
the case in the travel of the Hereafter where the believer is in
greater need to have a righteous helper and an agreeable companion who
would be, in relation to his friend, like two hands that wash the
other.
They are righteous people who guide you to the way of righteousness
and direct you with their kind words if you commit an undutiful or a
semi-undutiful act.
Hence, it becomes mandatory to get rid of bad friends who are the
reason behind every catastrophe. You should know, especially in this
stage of adolescence, that friends are chosen by the adolescent
according to his desire and inclination. The grave problem is that
this test often comes spontaneously where the child grows up with a
neighbor at school or university. This friend may become the reason
behind his undutifulness through absorbing behavior due to frequent
interaction over a period of time. So, you should select your friends
cautiously and deliberately.
3-O people of the faith: here, you should ask yourself: Are you
faithful? Perhaps, you would quickly answer in the affirmative. This
is a good reply; however, to reach such a degree of faithfulness you
should read some questions, if your answer is in the affirmative,
then, enjoy your faithfulness. Otherwise, you should do your best to
make your answers in the affirmative.
- Do you frequently remember your parents' favors?
- Do you frequently thank them for their care and upbringing?
- Do you supplicate Allaah The Almighty for them in your prayers,
going, coming, with your friends and alone?
- Did you ever think about doing something for them and expressing
your love and faithfulness?
- Do you quickly blame yourself and rush to serve them whenever you
feel that you have fallen short to fulfill their rights?
This is the tip of the iceberg of questions which are well known to
faithful people.Subhaan Allaah)Glory be to Allaah!(, when a friend
does us a favor, we remember it, keep treating him kindly and speaking
well of him in his absence by remembering his good qualities. How come
that we do not adopt this attitude— which we adopt towards our
friends— towards our parents who sacrifice their time so that we can
enjoy our times? They spent their money so that we become rich. They
spent many nights crying because of our illness. Many times they were
preoccupied from life with our needs. There are many of their
supplications for us which were answered. How many times do kind
parents sit watching their children dreaming of the day on which they
become successful Muslim youth, with people delighting in them? By
Allaah, these are only a few matters to remember. Is it not time for
us to become faithful?
Family role
1-Understanding the stage: first, I would like to ask why do
adolescents clash with their parents. What are the reasons which drive
him to argue after he was tractable during his childhood? Why does he
tend to independence and individuality in taking decisions?
It seems that the answer is summarized in the fact that the adolescent
is living through a new stage. The more parents are able to understand
this, the more dutifulness they will get and vice versa. Missing
understanding between parents and children is the gravest matter that
culminates in undutifulness to parents. Children want to build their
own life according to their style and that of their friends. On the
other hand, parents look from their own point of view and through
their own perspectives of their customs. Hence, each party is on a
different wavelength. The deeper understanding of this stage the
parents have, the more capable they will be of dealing according to
methodology and awareness. By the permission of Allaah, it will result
in dutifulness to parents and in having good manners.
We previously clarified that the adolescent in this stage wants to
fulfill some needs such as security, acceptance, feeling responsible,
and so on. The more the parents are aware of these needs, the stronger
and more successful the relation will be. Undoubtedly, such success is
topped by dutifulness to parents. Hence, we need to read a lot on the
needs of adolescents and how to deal with them.
2-Stop the conflict: it is important that parents understand that
their children during this stage need to feel that their parents value
them highly and know that they have moved from childhood to youth. In
many cases, we find that the family's stance towards the child, which
may degrade or mock him, increases the child's tendency to resort to
his friends and compound their influence and effect on him.
3-Feeling rejected followed by loss: It is noteworthy that whenever
the adolescent feels acceptance and esteem, he loves his parents more
and more. Therefore, the more we accept the basic personal traits of
our adolescents, the more they feel at ease with us and their desire
to spend time at home increases. Undoubtedly, such a feeling of
acceptance and esteem leads to a similar result with the children.