Right Speech: Key to happiness and success

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'a speech
will either prosper or ruin a nation.' Many relationships break off
because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,
we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything
without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A women and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A
worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, 'Hi, Emily! Remember me?
We were friends in the secondary school.' On the way home, her
millionaire husband teased her, 'Luckily you married me. Otherwise you
will be the wife of a construction worker.' She answered, 'You should
appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire
and not you.'
A little girl asked her father, 'How did the human race appear?' The
father answered, 'Allah (SWT) made Adam and Eve and they had children
and so was all mankind made.' Two days later the girl asked her mother
the same question. The mother answered, 'Many years ago there were
monkeys from which the human race evolved.' The confused girl returned
to her father and said, 'Daddy how is it possible that you told me the
human race was created by Allah (SWT), and mother said they developed
from monkeys?' The father answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I
told you about my side of the family and your mother told you about
hers.'
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad
relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

No Overpowering: Key to happiness and success

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,
or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will
conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after
marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying
which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or
a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing
the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.
Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled a prosperous country. One
day, he went for a trip to some distant areas of his country. When he
was back to his palace, he complained that his feet were very painful,
because it was the first time that he went for such a long trip, and
the road that he went through was very rough and stony. He then
ordered his people to cover every road of the entire country with
leather.
Definitely, this would need thousands of cows' skin, and would cost a
huge amount of money.
Then one of his wise servants dared himself to tell the king, "Why do
you have to spend that unnecessary amount of money? Why don't you just
cut a little piece of leather to cover your feet?"
The king was surprised, but he later agreed to his suggestion, to make
a "shoe" for himself.
There is actually a valuable lesson of life in this story: to make
this world a happy place to live, you better change yourself - your
heart; and not the world.

The Truth about Some of the Superstitions Wrongly Ascribed To Islam

There is a significant group of people around the world claiming to
act in the name of Islam. However, most of them are completely
oblivious to the Qur'an. They are living by a pretend religion, one
devised largely of superstitions. They claim that there their
actions are ordered by the Qur'an, when it is not, and they declare
what is legal according to the Qur'an to be illegal, they come up
with new rules and try to turn Islam, the religion of peace and
love, into a religion of hatred and war. Their most pernicious
attribute is that they call this new religion 'Islam' and inflict
grave damage to Islam with the atrocities they commit using Islam's
name.
Everything is banned according to their religion. They are not
allowed to laugh, be happy, look good, or learn according to this
new religion they have created. Their religion bans all the good
things and blessings that Allah gave to us as gifts. Their religion
is composed of hatred, rage and unhappiness. Their religion is
complete darkness, because they don't follow the true Qur'an. They
have replaced the truth with falsehoods. They slander our Prophet
Mohammed (pbuh) ascribing to him some words that are in
contradiction with the Qur'an, calling them hadiths. [Prophet
Mohammed (pbuh) is beyond that]. They are trying to change the
Qur'an and replace it with a new religion. Yet remarkably, they
don't actually follow this pretend religion that they produced.
Even though the masterminds of this dark religion are only a handful
of people, they have managed to exert an influence that is
disproportionate to their actual numbers. Many people think that
this model is the real Islam. And many others think that these
superstitions are to be followed in order to practice Islam. These
lovers of superstition think that they should stay away from the
Qur'an, and they remain completely oblivious to the real Qur'an. The
only thing they do is learn these superstitions and follow them as
religion.
Allah describes in the Qur'an such people who ban what Allah has
permitted (legal):
Say: 'Who has forbidden the fine clothing Allah has produced for His
slaves and the good kinds of provision?' Say: 'On the Day of Rising
such things will be exclusively for those who had belief during
their life in the world.' In this way We make the Signs clear for
people who know . (Surat Al-Ar'af, 32)
Almighty Allah informs us of a very important fact in this verse:
"...that there are people who say that legal things are illegal."
Surely, there are people who don't pay attention to what is right
and wrong and act indifferently. However, in this verse Allah
specifically mentions some people who are making what Allah
declared as 'legal', 'illegal' and doing that 'in the name of
religion'. In other words, these people are in effect changing the
religion and imposing a different religion using the name of Allah.
This becomes clearer when we compare the true commands of our
religion with the practices introduced by those who are trying to
spread their religion of superstitions:
1-Allah created happiness as a blessing, but they ban laughing
A Muslim is the happiest person on Earth. A Muslim should be the
happiest person, because he understands Allah, he believes in Him
and he knows how to trust Allah, how to be patient and how to give
thanks. He doesn't have any fears for the future, as he knows that
no matter what happens to him, no matter how it looks, it's always
a blessing in disguise, and that he is living his destiny and that
death is not an end for him, but the time he finally gets to go to
his Lord and begin his eternal life. How could such a person ever be
upset? In addition to that, being happy is a command from our
Almighty Lord. Allah explains that grief and sadness is the quality
of the unbelievers:
Let them laugh little and weep much, in repayment for what they have
earned . (Surat At-Tawba, 82)
They will say, 'Our Lord, our miserable destiny overpowered us. We
were misguided people ." (Surat Al-Muminun, 106)
The lovers of superstition attempt to nullify Allah's above command
using fake hadiths. They think that Muslims are better off being
sad, which Allah says only the unbelievers deserve to be. They want
to destroy the joy and happiness, the biggest need of the soul and
the body. They wish to deprive Muslims of the joy of heaven,
although Muslims are the ones that will 'rejoice' in heaven.
They are unaware of the real meaning of their actions when they
approve of sadness. Getting upset when something doesn't go their
way is the same thing as saying 'I wish it hadn't happened', which
is basically the same thing as rebelling against destiny, whether
one likes to admit it or not. They are unaware of the fact that by
thinking that being sad is okay, they are defying the command of
Allah, and rebelling against the destiny created by Him.
Faith is one of the biggest gifts from Allah. A believer, even if he
has none of the blessings in the life of this world, even if he has
the greatest difficulties, even if things seem to take a turn for
the worse for him, the happiness and peace the faith gives to him is
beyond all those seemingly negative situations. Allah puts peace,
tranquility, happiness and serenity in the hearts of those who turn
to Him. However, a person who doesn't turn to Allah, who doesn't
lead a life for the purpose of gaining Allah's pleasure, cannot
possibly feel happy, no matter how much he claims he can.
Allah may give such people worldly gifts as a part of the test, and
such a person might seem to be enjoying all sorts of beauties and
wealth. However, he cannot find the happiness his soul is constantly
longing for. Allah explains in the 28 th verse Surat Ar-Rad, that
"... those who have belief and whose hearts find peace in the
remembrance of Allah. Only in the remembrance of Allah can the
heart find peace. "
This description of Allah for 'the hearts finding peace' can be
possible only with the remembrance of Allah and with a deep and
passionate love for Allah. There is no way for happiness other than
sincere faith, which is following the Qur'an unconditionally.
Allah gives glad tidings to His righteous and sincere servants with
the news of a good life both in this world and in the hereafter:
"... There is good in the world for those who do good, and the abode
of the hereafter is even better. How wonderful is the abode of those
who have fear of Allah. ( Surat An-Nahl, 30 )
Anyone who acts rightly, male or female, being a believer, We will
give them a good life and We will recompense them according to the
best of what they did . (Surat an-Nahl, 97)
There is good news for them in the life of the world and in the
hereafter. There is no changing the words of Allah. That is the
great victory! . (Surat Yunus, 64)
Their Lord gives them the good news of His mercy and good pleasure
and Gardens where they will enjoy everlasting delight . (Surat
At-Tawba, 21)
The angels descend on those who say, 'Our Lord is Allah,' and then
go straight: 'Do not fear and do not grieve but rejoice in the Garden
you have been promised " (Surat Fussilat, 30)
2. Allah exalts and praises women while the radicals try to insult women
Insulting women is the most important attribute of the lovers of
superstition . To them, women are worthless, mere second-class
citizens. They should be compared to dogs and pigs. They should be
locked down, made ugly as much as possible, and prevented from
receiving an education. They also ban women from touching the
Qur'an; they certainly don't want women to learn religion. They
think that women are to be locked down, serve their husbands and
know their place.
Because of this mad state of mind, the radicals and the
superstitious react violently when they see a woman in the social
world, outside the borders they see proper for women. And
especially if that woman is well-groomed and well-educated and more
importantly, if she praises Allah, reads the words of Allah, they
get even angrier. They feel rage. First they say 'They should not
touch the Qur'an'. They try to prevent such ladies from reading the
verses of Allah. Then they start criticizing them for their
clothes, makeup, and other physical qualities. The truth is, they
are so full of hatred and rage, a woman fully covered will make them
as angry as a women wearing modern clothes as they always try to
find a point that they can criticize and use to insult women. They
are full of hatred and they always look for things that they can
hate. For this reason, they usually fabricate fake reasons and use it
as an excuse for their hatred.
To them, a woman cannot possibly be 'religious' no matter what she
does. According to this twisted frame of mind, a woman is not
supposed to be a part of society, laugh, talk, be educated,
well-groomed or modern.
And yet when they are asked if they have any Qur'anic basis for
their radical approach to women, they keep quiet, as the Qur'an has
no basis for their superstitions. On the contrary, the Qur'an
explains that women and men are equal in terms of responsibility.
The Qur'an addresses to believing women and believing men.
According to the Qur'an, a duty of a woman is not staying at home and
living a life unaware of her religion and the world and being a
slave to her husband: According to the Qur'an, a woman is supposed
to do her part in the intellectual struggle Allah wants to be done
for Allah's pleasure and make an effort to spread the moral values of
the Qur'an. The description of women in the Qur'an is completely
different from the view the radicals have of women.
In the Qur'an, women are rulers of their countries. Allah gives the
Queen of Sheba, Balkis, as an example of a ruler who is trusted and
consulted for her opinions. The other examples in the verses and
hadiths make it abundantly clear the importance Allah wants people
to attach to women:
- There is nothing in the Qur'an that bans sitting down together
with women. On the contrary, many accounts of the lives of the
Prophets make it clear that they always spent time with women and
talked to them.
- There are many hadiths explaining how Prophet Mohammed (pbuh)
spent time together with ladies. In addition, Prophet Mohammed
(pbuh) preached to many different women from different backgrounds
and groups during the Festival of Ukaz.
- The Qur'an speaks about righteous women who stayed away from the
shepherds but asked for the help of Prophet Moses (as), and spent
time with him.
- Prophet Soloman (as) invited the Queen of Sheba, Balkiz, to his
palace to preach to her and even made a joke as she entered the
palace. That led Balkiz to think that the floor of the palace was a
shallow pool so she pulled her skirt up, trying to pass without
getting wet although it was actually a glass floor with the
appearance of a pool. At that moment, Balkiz was in the company of
Prophet Soloman (as).
- Prophet Joseph (as), lived in the same house for years with the
wife of the Egyptian officer that he stayed in the house of. The
verse even makes it clear that they were even alone in a room
together. Also, the lady friends of the wife of the officer paid
frequent visits there as well and the Qur'an makes it clear that
Prophet Joses (as) spent time with them.
Prophet Mohammed (saas) Saw Ladies as the Ornaments of the World
and Attached Them Great Importance
Prophet Mohammed (saas), through his life and by explaining the
Qur'anic verses, taught all of humanity the measures that should be
taken so that women are protected, respected and loved as commanded by
Allah in the Qur'an. Everything Prophet Mohammed (saas) did in his
life was practicing the Qur'an and therefore he always favored women
and took measures to make sure they were protected and guarded from
harm and pain. Indeed, the way our Prophet Mohammed (saas) treated
his wives is a great example to all Muslims in how they should
approach women. For instance, Khadija (ra), one of his first wives,
as well as Sauda, Aisha, Hafsah, Umm Habiba, Umm Salama, Safia,
Moyomuna, Zainab bint Jahsh, Juwairya (ra) gave many accounts of
beautiful and exemplary treatment of women by Prophet Mohammed
(saas).
It is reported that the Prophet (saas) would play with his wives and
run races with them. His companions described the Prophet's (saas)
great interest in his wives in the words, " The Prophet (saas) used
to joke with his wives.. . ( Imam Ghazzali's Ihya Ulum-Id-Din,
Volume 2, p. 32) showing to the whole world how loving and
protective Prophet Mohammed (saas) was of his wives.
Aisha (ra) said: "I have never seen a man who was more
compassionate to his family members than Muhammad (saas)." (Sahih
Muslim, Kitab al-Fada'il,63 ). These words explain how Muslim men
are supposed to treat their wives and all ladies in general.
Prophet Mohammed (saas), described on many occasions how valuable
the believing women were. For example one time, he said: ' This
world is nothing but temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy
in this world is a righteous woman ." ( Muslim, Rada 64, (1467);
Nesai, Nikah 15, (6,69); Al-Qutub-al Sittah, Translation and
Interpretation, Prof. Dr. İbrahim Canan, vol.15, Akçağ Publishing,
Ankara, p. 514) .
The hypocrisy of those who are trying to ascribe the superstitions
they have about women to our religion
Those who are trying to insult women using the name of Islam are
actually being very hypocritical. These people who criticize women
for being on TV, for dancing or for sitting together with men are
actually the very same people who are living side by side with women
all the time. At school, at home, on buses, in malls, in the
elevators, in short everywhere in their daily lives, they are side
by side with women and it should be noted that most of those women
are not wearing headscarves, and wear makeup. They work with them,
chat with them, dine with them, take part together in social
activities and they even go on vacation together with them. That's
how it should be : It is impossible even to think about a system
where it is not like this.
This is the part where they are most hypocritical because in
reality, they want to shut away and cover up and even get rid of
women, owing to their sick state of mind. Yet they have no
reservations in looking at women on TV or in newspapers. Even on
the TV channels or newspapers which represent a similar world view,
there are constant images of ladies which are wearing revealing
clothes and full makeup. They hypocritically ignore those TV
channels, and criticize others to show themselves as the most pious
ones.

Islam Goes Hand In Hand With Art And Beauty

One of the main indicators of a society's level of development and
well-being is without doubt its level of art, beauty and quality.
Islam attaches great importance to art. The exceedingly fine
examples of Islamic art that have left many traces in such fields as
architecture and literature are one of the clearest indicators of
this.
Although the first things that come to mind when art is mentioned are
branches such as painting and music, believers are not limited to
these and apply art and beauty in all areas of their lives, to the
very greatest extent possible. High quality manifests itself in the
lives of believers when cleanliness, one of the most important
characteristics of Qur'anic morality, is combined with art and
beauty.
Beauty and Art in Clothing and External Appearance
Believers are people who strive to represent God's faith at every
moment and in all respects. They therefore pay great attention to
external appearance.
Some people make the mistake of interpreting taking care of one's
clothes and external appearance as tending toward the life of this
world or seeking the approval of other people. Yet through the
quality, cleanliness and attention they take over their external
appearance, as with their behavior, believers actually invite people
to the beauty and nobility of Islamic moral values. Our Prophet
(saas) also says in hadiths that there is no pride involved in
dressing well:
"God is beautiful and loves beauty; dressing well is not pride,
pride lies in rejecting the truth and in despising people." (Kütüb-i
Sitte, [The Six Books] Translation and Commentary by Dr. Ibrahim
Canan, vol. 7, Akçağ Press, Ankara, p. 208)
Our Prophet Muhammed (saas) always wore the best and most elegant
clothes possible under all circumstances, and always recommended
this to the Companions. Hazrat Hassan (pbuh), the grandson of the
Prophet (saas), described the Messenger of God's (saas) view
regarding dress as follows:
"Our Prophet (saas) commanded us to wear the best clothes we had
and to use the finest scents we could find." (Bukhari, at-Tarih
al-Kabir, I, 382, no:1222)
Taking care over one's clothing is an explicit command of God's in
the Qur'an. Surat al-Muddaththir says:
Purify your clothes. Shun all filth. (Surat al-Muddaththir, 4-5)
The faith requires that clothing be clean and well-maintained. Since
our Prophet (saas) attached great importance to cleanliness, he
also regarded maintaining the hair and beard, one's external
appearance, as very important. Some sources report that he used to
carry combs, mirrors, a mishwak, toothpicks, scissors and kohl. (Ali
al-Qari, Jam'ul-Wasail fi Sharh ash- Shamail, Istanbul, p. 96-97)
Art and Beauty in Living Quarters
Believers seek the maximum of God's approval at all times. They
strive with all their might to raise their moral values to those of
paradise, of people beloved of God. They also try to keep their
living quarters as close as possible to the descriptions of
paradise. Believers make their homes attractive by keeping them
clean and light and not overfilled with unnecessary objects. They
try to choose harmonious accessories, to decorate their homes with
flowers or pictures, and even if they cannot renew their household
possessions, they at least move them around from time to time to give
an impression of variety.
It is a grave error to imagine that there is no need to bother with
home maintenance, or that it is a waste of time. The fact that the
Qur'an discusses the beauty of the Prophet Solomon's (pbuh) palace
is a sign of the importance of the subject. The beauty of the palace
and the effective nature of the message it conveyed to the queen of
Sheba are described as follows in Surat al-Naml:
She was told: 'Enter the courtyard,' but when she saw it she supposed
it to be a pool and bared her legs. He said, 'It is a courtyard
paved with glass.' She said, 'My Lord, I have wronged myself but I
have submitted with Solomon to the Lord of all the worlds.' (Surat
an-Naml, 44)
The Atrophication in Societies Devoid of Art
Societies devoid of art and beauty, with lives deprived of quality,
have great deficiencies. The members of such societies lack wide
horizons and are always backward in all areas. Some examples of the
atrophication caused by living without art are as follows:
They lose the ability to be considerate
Living devoid of art and beauty kills all the delicacy of the human
soul. The lack of care such a person takes in his daily life and
personal grooming can also be seen in his speech and behavior. The
crude and inappropriate language that such people use toward their
families, friends and even while shopping, etc. immediately
attracts notice.
This behavior, the exact opposite of the conception of quality in
Islam, may also have a damaging effect on people's hearts warming to
Islam. Allah reveals in the Qur'an that shaytan seeks to divide
believers and commands them to take great care over their speech.
Surat al-Isra' says:
Say to My slaves that they should only say the best. Satan wants to
stir up trouble between them. Shaytan is an outright enemy to man.
(Surat al-Isra', 53)
As a result of the pains they take over their external appearance
and their living spaces, believers acquire the ability to think very
considerately. Paying attention to details and being careful over
such matters makes it easier for believers to see the details in
all subjects and to think considerately. In this way, they do not
choose their words carelessly when they speak, but take great pains
with the language they use. As cited in the verse above, this is a
very important matter that strengthens the bonds of brotherhood
between believers.
They are unable to witness the art and beauty in nature
The sensitivity toward artistic structures around them to a large
extent atrophies in people who do not strive to ensure that art
predominates in their lives. One negative consequence of this is
that a child, a lovely flower or a cute kitten produces no pleasant
effect in the souls of such people. They are unable to feel in their
souls the excitement of seeing the artistry of God manifested in
such entities.
Yet someone who takes care over his clothing, who notes that a
flower is created to be elegant, who notes the beauty of hair, who
sees that a cat's fur is always shiny and who decorates his own
home well, will doubtlessly better appreciate the harmony of color
in a sunset he witnesses, because he is more sensitive to the
sensations caused by such delights. Believers know that every
beautiful thing they see is a manifestation of the beauty of God and
that beauty gives them a sense of ease in their hearts. Better
appreciation of beauty leads them to remember God and give thanks to
Him more.
They do not take proper care over religious observances
Art and beauty are of great importance in services made for the
faith. The main aim of a Muslim is to struggle against atheism. As
everyone knows, atheism assumed a supposed scientific guise with the
theory of evolution; it is therefore very important for Muslims to
be punctilious and take pains over all details in their struggles
against atheism because the basic aim in such activities is to show
the fact of creation to people who have been misled by the
scientific- seeming lies of Darwinism. The attractive and esthetic
appearance of and careful labor in any work (be it a web site, a
book or a documentary), will increase people's desire to examine it
closer and thus, by God's leave, enhance its impact.
In contrast, it is immediately apparent that a piece of work done
in a careless, slapdash manner could lead to undesired
consequences, such as destroying the potential impact of the work in
question.
It is obvious that people who have lived far removed from art and
beauty in their daily lives will also be weak when it comes to doing
affective work on behalf of the faith. These people, who are
careless even over their own personal appearance, will inevitably
miss many important details in those activities they undertake.
Some people even fail to see how the real danger against which
Muslims need to direct their attentions is the Darwinist-materialist
system. While aware of the danger of atheism, they may fall into the
error of merely criticizing other Muslims rather than working
effectively against that threat themselves.
Muslims, however, are people who strive to render as much service
as possible - and at all times - to God's religion and who seek to
earn the greatest extent of His approval. They are careful to avoid
being the kind of people described in the words "Among the people
there is one who worships God right on the edge" (Surat al-Hajj,
11) from Surat al-Hajj. The Qur'an reveals how Muslims compete with
one another on the path of God:
They have faith in God and the Last Day, and enjoin the right and
forbid the wrong, and compete in doing good. They are among the
righteous. (Surat al-'Imran, 114)
They cause a dislike in hearts of those people who are unacquainted
with Islam
Islam is a faith that harbors all that is beautiful, noble and high
quality. A Muslim is the most honest, virtuous and high quality
person you can imagine. The true Islam revealed in the Qur'an is
something to be envied by everyone.
However, a lifestyle devoid of art and beauty, an arid lifestyle
supposedly representing Islam leads to a false prejudice as to the
nature of Islam in the hearts of those who are unacquainted with it.
This is one of the main reasons why many people today tend toward
atheism. This will no doubt rebound on the heads of those who do not
strive to achieve the quality required by Islam, and who live in an
ill-kempt fashion and devoid of cleanliness, misinterpreting the
faith in a shallow manner. (Allah knows the truth.)
As described in the story of the Prophet Solomon (pbuh) in the
Qur'an, Muslims must adopt art and beauty as an effective means of
preaching the word. Fully complying with the Qur'an on this matter
will be instrumental in Islam spreading rapidly across the world.
In preaching the word to the queen of Sheba, the Prophet Solomon
(pbuh) had her own throne brought in and he welcomed her in his
palace. The artwork and decoration in the palace had a huge impact
on the queen of Sheba and was instrumental in her coming to have
faith. The considerate behavior and the use he made of art can be
seen at every stage while he communicated the word. This method of
preaching revealed in the Qur'an is one that all Muslims should
apply.
Conclusion
Everything said here shows what damage an arid lifestyle devoid of
art does to Muslims. All Muslims must strive to achieve a high level
of art, beauty and quality, things which occupy such an important
place in Islam.
Hazrat Mahdi (pbuh) whose coming in the End Times - the final age
before the Day of Judgment - is foretold in the hadiths, will
rejuvenate Islam with his conception of art and quality and, by God's
will, will cause it to reign across the world. Every Muslim who
sincerely and passionately loves Hazrat Mahdi (pbuh) and sincerely
wishes to be his follower must work to improve himself in this
important sphere.