By Dr. Hassan Hathout, M. D.
Family is a Mutual Commitment
The Prophet Muhammad (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) said:"Women are the
other half of men."The unit of humanity is not a man or a woman. It is
a man and a woman in that unison that makes them a family (just like
the smallest partof water is not oxygen orhydrogen but both united).
Like Judaism, Christianity and many other religions, Islam decrees
that the pairing off of a man and a woman to make a family constitutes
a sacred bondthat the Holy Qur'aan calls "a stout pledge", that has to
be documented and authenticated by the"marriage contract" or wedlock.
It signifies the commitment of the spouses to one another and
establishes their mutual rights and responsibilities as well as those
vis-a-vis their children.
Children have the right tolegitimacy (birth under a marriage contract
and having and knowing their father and mother), loving care as they
are raised, being nurtured and catered for both physically and
spiritually, and the right of education and getting them equipped to
face life and bear its responsibilities as matureand useful citizens.
As the parents attain old age or get incapacitated some way or
another, it is the children's religious duty to look after them and
cater to their comfort without feeling impatient or distressed about
it. It is a right towards Allah.
Of course, it is the perpetual insurance for the future of the
childrenas they themselves grow up and become parents and attain old
age. This solidarity of the family and strength of the family ties is
of paramount importance in Islam. It spreads even beyond the nuclear
family along the widening circles of bloodties. The Quran calls it"the
relation of the womb".
It is both a duty and a rewardable charity to be kind to those blood
kindred through friendly care or financial support if needed. Even
after parents have died, it remains one's duty to pray for them, and
even to maintain the ties with their friends, show them courtesy, and
offer help if needed.
Purpose of Marriage in Islam
In Islam, marriage subserves two functions, and it is only marriage
that lawfully subserves them. The one is to fulfil the yearning of the
one half to its other half and their becoming one, bothphysically and
spiritually. Says the Holy Qur'aan:"Amongst His signs is thatHe
created for you, from amongst you, consorts, with whom to dwell in
tranquility; and He laid love and compassion between you."(30:21)
The other function is to procreate and have a progeny. Says Allah
Almighty:"God made for you, from amongst you, consorts, and out of
your consorts made for you children and grandchildren; and bestowed on
you from His bounty; would they then believe in the vain things and
deny the blessings of God?"(16:72)Marriage is the only legitimate
venue for sex and reproduction. Trespassing outside marriage is a
grave sin. To satisfy these legal criteria must be a very rare event,
and it seems it was meant to be so.
It is noteworthly that the same moral principles used to prevail also
in America and the West, but with the slippage of more and more people
into atheism or microtheism, change wasinevitable. Atheism is when God
is denied. Microtheism is when God is acknowledged but with reduced
Godliness. We worship Him but on our own terms. We visit the houses of
worship usually on weekends, butwe do not allow God out to tell us
what to do with our private or public lives. This erosion of faithset
the stage for the"sexual revolution", as all religious values became
subject to radical revision.
Origin of the Sexual Revolution and the Immorality of the West
The sexual revolution didnot start as recently as we think in the
sixties. Nor was it the outcome of a passive natural socialchange. It
was the result of intelligent planning, hard work and perseverance. It
all started with the extreme fascination with scsience and its
technological capabilities, in the wake of banishment of the church
from delving into public life.
The human mind becamethe Ultimate arbiter of all human affairs, and
all time-honoured values were subjected to its new rulings. In their
haste and superficiality, however, people missed the obvious fact that
the human mind itself, and by its own admission, is an imperfect
instrument, and that with its limitation it cannot pass such ultimate
judgments as those concerning the absolute moral standards.
To further replace God byman, a movement arose between the two world
wars called "Morality without Religion", accusing religion, and not
human error, of causing enmity and conflict between people. They
pretended the samemoralities could be attained without necessarily
ascribing them to religion and called them "unattached moralities".
But as religion moved out of focus, God was dethroned, and new codes
of morality were issued wherein the immoralities of yesterdaybecame
the normalities of today, and secular humanism could, at last, frankly
declare that human values must be made by human beings and without
relevance toany non-human or supernatural reference.
With the shift towards materialism, such values as honour, chastity
and purity became empty words and nonviable currency. A full range of
indoctrination worked tostretch the boundaries offreedom to include
licence, and in a society that emphasises individuality, every human
whim became a human right.
It was another setback when the tidal wave that hit society deluged
also many of the traditional custodians of religion and protectors of
its values. These were the Trojan horse, because instead of leaving
the religious camp to the libertarian camp, they started working on
religion itself by new re-interpretations and new exegesis of the
texts to render lawful and permissible what has been unlawful and
reprehensive along the whole history of those religions. Many of those
clergy themselves fell prey to the germs they were supposed to fend
off. Some even interpreted the institution of "celibacy" as refraining
from marriage but not from having sex.
The result, as expected, isthis chaotic sexual conduct of whole
societies. Without the values of chastity outside marriage and
fidelity within it, came the desecration of sex as a very special bond
between a man and a woman, mass and promiscuous sex, spur posses,
rapes, unwanted pregnancies ending in abortion or unwanted children
stripped of their right of legitimate double parentage, and children
begetting children.
Further, family trust is eroded when even in stable families some 15
percent of the children are not having their fathers, added to all
this are health hazards due tothe epidemic spread of sexually
transmitted diseases, whether new diseases or the recurrence of old
ones we thought have been conquered long ago. Their causative
organisms have acquired resistance to known antibiotic therapy, and
with rising promiscuity they are exacting a heavytoll on the
community, especially the youth.
No Confusion in Islam
We, Muslims, do not have any confusion or vagueness about what is
lawful in our religion andwhat is unlawful. The moralities and the
immoralities specified in the Holy Qur'aan will remain so forever, and
cannot be diluted or manipulated or rationalized according toanyone's
whim. There are no clergy or scholars who can claim to be endowed with
the right or ability of special interpretation. This does not mean
that all Muslimsare, therefore, virtuous people who do not sin.
Ofcourse, Muslims violate their own religion by committing sins and
abominations, but at least they know it is sin, and it will remain on
their conscience until they desist and repent to Allah.
The real challenge the Muslim citizens of the Western communities
arefacing is that their children are raised undersocial and moral
norms that conflict with the teachings of Islam. But the Muslims are
not alonein this, because there are also Jews, Christians and others
who uphold the same divine moralities and make every effort to endow
their children with them.
Our way with our children follows an early introduction to Allah,
andthat when we believe in Him it means we accept and abide by His
rules. If we follow His rules, we do not bother if the others do not,
for when one is on the side of Allahthen one is in the majority. This
breeds the confidence that resists peer pressure and the vagaries of
temptation."They all do it" ceases to be an excuse.
The vaccination approach aims at building up immunity long before the
child is exposed to disease: be it physical or moral. Just like a
soldier is prepared to battle before and not during the battle, future
hazards and catches are discussed with the child so that he/she would
decide in advance what position to take when the time comes whether
the offer is smoking, drink, drug or sex.
Fortunately, the preaching of premarital chastity entails more than an
order to obey (ofcourse the teaching is that when Allah orders, we
hear and we obey). Discussions with Muslim and non-Muslim youth
presented the case equally powerfully even along purely intellectual
lines. "Who believes in equality of the sexes?", and it is an
unanimous vote. "Who believes in justice?", and again it is aunanimous
agreement. The proposition is then introduced that any relationship
between two partners, the consequences of which are not equally shared
byboth, cannot constitute justice; and they all agree.
In a situation of liberal sex, the consequences are not equally
shared, because the female side is the loser all the way, whether she
is deserted, or gets pregnant and goes for abortion, or gives birth
and signs away her baby for adoption or ends with a fatherless baby to
support alone for the restof her life. When we observe the
consequences and ask the question, "Can this bejustice?" the general
shout is "No!".
Homesexuality and its Consequences
The homosexuality movement was a fairly late comer on the wagon of the
sexual revolution. Homosexuality, of course,is not a new invention as
it has always been there in practically all cultures and among all
people but, one would guess, in more limited proportions. It had its
lobby whose activities followed more or less subtle ways, but its
influence mushroomed only over the past decadeor so.
A "Gay Bowel Syndrome" was described in the medical literature, and
later it was AIDS that made the news and its relation to homosexual
behaviour being established. Very soon the AIDS problem was pushed out
of the medical arena and its rules and regulations for handling
infectious diseases.
It became a political issue, and the homosexual lobby further grew
into a political power capable of intimidating office bearers and
political figures and gaining the support of many in the media, the
arts and the clergy. Instead of AIDS being contained, it spilled over
to blood recipients, drug addicts, the foetus in utero, heterosexual
contacts with wives and others and accidental infections.
It became a global epidemic that is spreading at a serious pace. To
the AIDS patient we have empathy and compassion and hopefully the best
available medical and nursing care. To those not infected, we
recommend the preventive approach. This is not the condom, for there
is no such a thing as safe sex. It is chastity until marriage, and
fidelity within marriage.
The debate about homosexuality is ravaging. "Be what you are" they
say, "and do not be ashamed of it". Many unsuspecting youthstarted to
experiment, to discover what they really are. Consent is a requisite,
and the lobbiesin Scandinavia are trying to bring down the consent age
to four years. A 'Gay Pride Day' is annually observed in California
with media coverage, a 'Gay Pride Month' in some school districts has
been established to remove bigotry and prejudice, and two-man or
two-woman households are being presented as alternative forms of
family.
Recently, science began exploring a possible anatomical or genetic
basis for homosexual orientation. We Muslims are not impressed, and
tous the matter is that simple. We do not make our religion, but we
receive it and we obey it.We cannot impose anything on anyone, but to
us, the Holy Qur'aan and the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (Sall
Allaho alaihe wasallam) clearly and explicitly condemn homosexual
practices.
Whether you have the orientation or not, whether you harbour thegene
or not, your feelings and desires shall not dictate your behaviour.
You might be dying to do something (be it homosexual contact or
heterosexual with a partner who is notyour wife or taking an alcoholic
drink or an urge for a violent action or a desire to steal something
that is not yours), what you feel need not be what you do.
Says Allah Almighty in theHoly Qur'aan:"It is not fora believing man
or woman if a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger, to
have a choice of their own. If anyone disobeys Allah and His
Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong path."(33:36). Every human
being has an undisputed gene without which they cannot be a human
being: it is called the"gene of self-control"!
SOURCE: WWW.
ISLAMFORUM.ORG
&C 1996 - UPDATED 8/23/99
Courtesy of Islamic Center of Southern California
'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
-
{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
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