Fathwa, - Responsibilities regarding womenfolk

Question:
As salaam alaikum,
Shaykh, my question isregarding sisters. If one's sister is not
married and, due to her fussy nature, seems unlikely to marry in the
near future, does the responsibility of her welfare lie upon the
father's shoulders? Taking into consideration the fact that she is in
her mid 30's and her father is in his mid 60's. She works and
socializes as she wishes, but she is punctual regarding Salaah etc.
And I know for certain she only socialises with fellow Muslimahs. The
fact that she has refused allproposals given, does this make my father
sinful and will the sin in-turn fall upon me her younger brother (but
the eldest of two brothers). Also, I intend to study abroad, would the
responsibility of my sister fall upon my head if my father was to pass
away, taking into consideration the independent nature of women (my
sister most definitely included) in the West. For example I am almost
certain she would not travel abroad with me, and I probably wouldn't
be able to afford it (myself being married).
Shaykh, sorry for the awkward way I have written my question, it's
more a query needing advice than a formal question. Anyhow, thanks for
taking the time to consider and hopefullyprovide a solution to my
situation.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Brother,
1. Refusing marriage:
Your sister's refusal to get married is not a sin. Your father is also
not responsible if his daughter refuses to get married. You also do
not incur any sin if your sister keeps refusing marriage. That is her
prerogative.
2. According to a previous answer by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam
al-Kawthari, your father is generally required to support his grown
daughter, provided he is able and she is in need of support.However,
he may ask his daughter to assist in her maintenance, although he may
not ask her to work outside the home. Please visit Fiqh of
financially supporting one's parents and other relatives.
3. If your father passes away, you will be required to support
yoursister only if you are ableand she is poor and unmarried. Your
first priority is supporting your wife and children. After that, if
you are able, then you should provide for your sister if she is
unmarried. Once again, you may ask her to help out, but you cannot
demand that she work outside the home.
Last but not least, it's best to come to some sort of arrangement that
is beneficial to everyone.If your sister has no problem with working,
then it may be advisable for her to contribute to her upkeep,
especially if your father is getting along in years. In fact, if your
father is himself in need of support, then both you and your sister
must support him, regardless of her marital status.
I pray this helps.
And Allah knows best.

Fathwa, - My husband doesnt understand my feelings regards to living with hisfamily

Question:
I've been married for 11 months now and and me and my husband are
expectingour first child in April. In general I am very happy with my
husband and i love him very much, the only problem is living with his
family. he has loads of brothers and sisters some are married but they
are always around with their children and their husbands there isn't
much privacy. His mum is constantlymoaning about something or the
other and it is really getting me down and I feel like any day now I'm
goingto have a mental breakdown. the problem is my husband knows how i
feel about living with his family, but his refusing to to do anything
about it. I can't take this anymore. please help me with this problem
and what can i do to make my husband see how im feeling. Im notasking
him to disown his family or anything like that just that i need my own
space.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Sister,
I pray this message finds you well. Congratulationson your pregnancy!
A woman has the right toseparate lodging from her in-laws. At the very
least, your husband is obliged to provide you with a separate living
space, bedroom, bath, and kitchen.
Please communicate your concerns to your husband emphasizing:
1. the importance of fulfilling one's responsibilities towards one's spouse
2. the importance of privacy in building a strong and lasting marriage
3. the importance of having your own space (and some peace and quiet)
when the baby arrives
I pray that you can work out a solution that is to the benefit of all involved.

Fathwa, - Are men wiser than women according to Islam?

Question:
Assalam o alaikum
Alhamdulillah, I feel extremely strong in my faith and do not question
the Qur'an, Hadith, Sunnah or the orthodox scholars. But I am taking a
class called Women in Islam, which is taught in a subtly feminist
approach and I find myself knowing that the readings or issues I am
reading are beingmisinterpreted but I lack enough knowledge to wisely
argue my points out. Therefore, I am forwarding the questions here in
hopeof a logical answer that can be presented to a non-Muslim Western
classroom.
The following ahadith which I found while researching and whichare
also mentioned in my book:
The meaning of this verse is: I have made men overseers of women
because I havegranted the former superiority over the latter. This is
due to three reasons viz.
a. perfect understanding
b. perfection of deen and obedience in jihadand commanding the good
and forbidding the evil etc. This has been explained by Nabi
sallallahu alaihi wasallam in an authentic Hadith.
"I have not seen any one of deficient intellect and deen whois more
destructive to the intelligence of a cautious man than youwomen."
The women asked:"Why is that, O messenger of Allh?" Hereplied: "Do you
not spend a few nights without performing salh and without keeping
fast? This is the deficiency of her deen and the testimony of one of
you equals half the testimony of a single man - this is the deficiency
of her intellect. "... so that if one of the two womenerrs, the second
wouldremind her". (Al Baqarah, verse 281)
Questions that can be raised here are:
points (a) and (b) are not women's fault then. Then why did God make
them like that. For extremely atheistic or secular people this could
showa deficiency in God nauzubillah or it demonstrates that Godis
perhaps a masculinefigure or if not, then I mean I cannot reason with
why God would want to make women weaker like that. That shows an
inherent lackof equality then. And no matter how much one tries to
please oneself with the idea that oh how lucky you don't have to pray
for aweek or whatever...it still boils down to whycould not women be
made equally intelligent. And also orientalist scholars could say that
Prophet (saw) was chauvinistic. Why did he speak so patronizingly
(in"progressive" perspective) about women?
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Sister,
Thank you for your question. It is certainly an important one.
I have not been able to find a satisfactory explanation for this
hadith. I pray that one ofour esteemed scholars will offer us a new
perspective on this hadith, especially since many non-Muslims like
tocite this hadith as evidence that Islam discriminates against women.
I would caution against interpreting this hadith at face value for the
simple reason that the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace,
was famous for his kind and equitable treatment of women. Therefore,
for him to make a blanket statement about women's supposed inferiority
requires someamount of interpretive flexibility on our part. For those
who would accuse us of being apologists for the hadith,I would respond
that every religious tradition has texts which appear to privilege men
over women. The challenge for believers in modern times is to discover
new interpretive possibilities for these texts.
What I find especially fascinating about this hadith is what emerges
when you read between the lines. Was the Prophet, Allah bless him and
give him peace, alluding to a certain group of women? Could this have
been a wake-up call for women who were slacking in their deen?
I don't believe that we can take one hadith and jump to the conclusion
that the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, was saying that
women are created inferior.
In fact, when you examine the overall framework governing gender
issues in both theQur'an and Hadith, the core idea that emerges isthat
males and females share the same essence.
The Qur'an says,
"O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your LordWho created you from a
single soul and from it created its mate and from them twain hath
spread abroad a multitude of men and women. Be careful of your duty
toward Allah in Whom ye claim (your rights) of one another, and toward
the wombs (that bare you). Lo! Allah hath been a watcher over you."
(An-Nisa, 4:1)
And
"And their Lord hath accepted of them, and answered them: "Never will
I suffer to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female: Ye
aremembers, one of another..." (Aal Imran, 3:195)
However, the Qur'an clearly indicates that men and women are distinct
and unique:
"...and the male is not as the female..." (Aal Imran, 3:36)
When I read hadiths that seem to imply some intrinsic distinction
between men and women, I marvel at the Prophet's profound
understanding of humannature. Scientific research is discovering more
and more that women and men are really not the same. There are
inherent biological and emotionaldifferences which shouldbe accounted
for. In the field of medicine, for example, experts are discovering
the need for gender-specific medicinethat addresses women's unique
health concerns. As one scientist said, women are not little men!
Back to the issue of hadith, it's important to weigh "problematic"
hadith against others which speak more favorably of women. In many
hadith, including the above, which is rigorously authenticated,the
Prophet, peace be upon him, expressed deep concern for the women of
his community.
For example, the Prophet, peace be upon him, was reported to have said,
"Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the
trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah.
You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you
in respect of their food andclothing according to your means."
Last but not least,

The Sacred months

Allaah Almighty Says)what means(:"Indeed, the number of months with
Allaah is twelve)lunar( months in the register of Allaah )from( the
day He created the heavens and the earth; ofthese, four are sacred.
That is the correct religion )i.e. way(, so do not wrong yourselves
during them. And fight against the disbelievers collectively as they
fight against you collectively. And know that Allaah is with the
righteous )who fear Him("]Quran 9: 36[
It is with the wisdom of Allaah that He favored some months over
others, like favoring the month of Ramadan over all other months,
becauseit is the month of mercy, the month of Quran, the month of
forgiveness andfreeing of people from the Fire. It is a month which
people glorified during the pre-Islamic period as well, and after
Islam it became even more glorified.
Moreover, the month of Muharram )which means forbidden in Arabic( was
called that because the Arabs used to forbid fighting during it.
Safar)which means zero in Arabic( was given this name because the
Arabs used to loot all the property of the enemy after defeating them
in battle )i.e. they left nothing behind(. Rabee' Al-Awwal )which
means graze in Arabic( because they used to graze their cattle during
this month. Jumaadaa )which means solid in Arabic( was giventhis name
because water used to freeze during thismonth. Rajab )which means
remove in Arabic( was given this name because the Arabs used to remove
the heads of their spears and refrain from fighting. Sha'baan)which is
anything positioned between two things in Arabic( was given this name
because it comes between Ramadan and Rajab. Ramadan )which means heat
in Arabic( was giventhis name because of the hot temperature and
excessive heat of the sun during this month. Shawwaal )which means
raise in Arabic( was giventhis name because she camels would raise
their tails when they became pregnant. Thul-Qi'dah)which means sitting
in Arabic( was given this name because it was the month during which
theywould sit and stop fighting. Thul-Hijjah)which refers to Hajj in
Arabic( was given this name because it was the month during which
theyperformed Hajj.
In the abovementioned verse, Allaah informs us that since He created
the Heavens and earth, and created days and nights, and made the sun
and the moon, each float in an orbit, as a result of which the
darkness of nights and the light of days occur. It was from that time
that Allaah had set the months to be twelve, and He, Almighty,
informed us that He, Almighty, designated four of them to be sacred.
We must respect the sanctity of these sacred months, by adhering to
the commandments of Allaah, and rejecting that which the people of the
pre-Islamic period were upon, like delaying the restrictions of these
months or changing theirsequence. It is for this reason that the
Prophetsaid in his farewell pilgrimage:"O People! Time has gone back
to how it was at the time Allaah created the Heavens and the Earth. A
year has twelve months, four of which are sacred, three consecutive,
Thul-Qi'dah, Thul-Hijjah, Muharram, and Rajab, which comes between
Jumaadaa and Sha'baan."]Al-Bukhaari[
The words )which mean("…when He created the Heavens and earth…"]Quran
9: 36[ are to clarify that the decree of Allaah took place very early
on, and that He set the months, named them and sequenced them when He
created the Heavens and the earth, then He revealed this upon His
Prophets withinthe divined Books.
The verse is informing us that the ruling of these months will
remain)names, sequence and sacredness(, and the changes made by the
disbelievers to the sequence would have no effect. Moreover, whatever
the disbelievers had changedcould not change what Allaah had decreed.
This verse also indicates that it is compulsory to base acts of
worship and Islamic rulings on these months, and not the onesthe
Christians use. Therefore, it is not fit for a Muslim to prefer using
these Roman or Christian months over these Arabic)named( months.
They are: Thul-Qi'dah, Thul-Hijjah, Muharram, and Rajab which is
between Jumaadaa Al-Aakhirah and Sah'baan. It was also called Rajab of
Mudhar, because the tribe of Mudhar used to adhere to its sacredness,
while another tribe by the name of Rabee'ah Ibn Nizaar used to change
sacredness of Rajab to Ramadan. In order to lift this confusion the
Prophetsaid: "Rajab, which comes between Jumaadaa and Sah'baan".
Allaah Says in the same verse )which means(:"…that is the right
religion" meaning, this Sharee'ah )Islamic law( and obedience therein,
isthe right and straight path. Then Allaah continues Saying that)which
means(: "Do not wrong )oppress( yourselves therein"]Quran 9: 36[ which
is referring to all months ofthe year but the sacred months hold a
special position which makes oppressing oneself greater, just as
Allaah Says )what means(:"no sexual relation )with spouse(, no
sinning, nor unjust dispute"]Quran 9: 36[ and this certainly does not
indicate that one can sin other than the time of Hajj but it is to
reflect the greatness ofsinning during its rituals.
Do not wrong )oppress( yourselves by fighting and committing sins,
because when Allaah honors something for one reason, it becomes that
much honored, but when He honors for two or more reasons, then
sacredness becomes more, and punishment for disobedience is multiplied
accordingly. For example, one who obeys Allaah during the sacred
months in the sacred area will receive more reward than obeying Allaah
during other months, and the one who obeys Allaah during months other
than the sacred months outside the sacred area will receive less
reward than he who obeys Allaahinside the sacred area. Allaah gave an
indicationto this in His Saying)which means(:"O wives of the Prophet,
whoever of you should commit a clear immorality – for herthe
punishment will be doubled two fold, and ever is that for Allaah,
easy."]Quran 33:30[