Dought & clear, - He divorced his wife andthey want to get back together in accordance with sharee‘ah

Please could you tell me whether my divorce is valid or not. I have
beengoing through problemsfor the last 3 years with my wife about
children access, we separated about 5 times and now after 3 years both
want to come together. I initially said divorce once when she left my
house with my kids and then after 6 months came together and the local
imam said we haveto perform Nikah again. We lived only for 1 day and I
told her come back home and leave the courts matters. She did not come
back and we had our financially matters in the English court I wanted
to settle this so she cant ever claim against my property or Money my
lawyer said you have to give a English Divorce tohave a consent order
so she will never able to claim so I did. My lawyerfiled the English
divorce and now I have it on paper but I did this to save my property.
I know I only divorced twice but I am totally confused I have 3 lovely
children and me and mywife have regretted andwant to come together.
Please could you advise me further? We want to live again like husband
and wife halaal way.
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
What we understood from your question is that you separated from your
wife five times without talaaq (divorce),and that you only issued a
talaaq once, then you took your wife back after the end of the 'iddah
with a new marriage contract and mahr; then after that you asked your
wife to stop court proceedings but she refused, so the lawyer advised
you to divorce her according toEnglish law so as to protect your
financial rights, and you filed for divorce in the court.
Secondly:
With regard to this divorce that you filed forin court, if you uttered
the words of divorce (talaaq), then divorce has taken place. But if it
was only official proceedings to sign the legal divorce, and you only
wrote the word divorce without utteringit, or you instructed
yourlawyer to take care of this official paperwork only, then it
depends on your intention. If your intention in doing that was
actually to divorce your wife or you instructed the lawyer to actually
make it happen, then divorce has taken place. In that case you have
divorced your wife twice, so it is permissiblefor you to take her back
so long as she is still in the 'iddah period. If the 'iddah has ended,
then itis permissible for you to marry her with a new marriage
contract and mahr, but it is essential to note that if another divorce
takes place after that, then your wife will become irrevocably
divorced from you, and it will not be permissiblefor you to marry her
again until after she has been married to anotherman in a genuine
marriage, not a tahleel marriage (one intended to make it permissible
for her to go back to the first husband) and that marriage has been
consummated, then he (the second husband) divorces her or dies.
Thirdly:
But if you wrote the word of divorce in this request that you filed
with the court but did not intend to divorce your wife by writing it,
and you did not instruct the lawyer to actually make divorce happen
onyour behalf, then divorce has not taken place, as we have explained
in detail, quoting the words of the scholars, in fatwa no. 72291. In
that case, yourwife has only been divorced once, which was the first
instance.
Fourthly:
The ruling does not differ with regard to what is mentioned above,
whether the judge decided the divorce or not, because divorce issued
by a non-Muslim judge does not count as such, as we explained in fatwa
no. 127179
Fifthly:
It should be noted that itis not permissible to refer for judgment to
courts that rule according to man-made laws, because that comes under
the heading of taghoot (falsehood). Allah, may He be glorified, has
commanded His slaves toavoid falsehood and not to believe in it, as He
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"O you who believe! Obey Allah and obey the Messenger (Muhammad SAW),
and those of you (Muslims) who are in authority. (And) if you differ
in anything amongst yourselves, refer it to Allah and His Messenger
(SAW), if you believe in Allah and in the Last Day. That is better and
more suitablefor final determination.
Have you seen those (hypocrites) who claim that they believe in that
which has been sent down to you, and that which was sent down before
you, and they wish to go for judgement (in their disputes) to the
Taghoot (false judges, etc.) while they have been ordered to reject
them. But Shaitan (Satan) wishes to lead them far astray"
[an-Nisa' 4:59, 60].
We have discussed this important matter previously in detail, in fatwa
no. 93208. You have to pay attention to this matter and study it well
and teach your wifeabout it, so that you will not end up referring to
those false judges, because that is a major sin and a serious matter
that may put one beyond the pale of Islam.
An exception may be made from that if there is no option other than
referring for judgment to man-made laws in order to recover one's dues
that are proven according to sharee'ah, or to document it, or to ward
off harm in a country that is not ruled according to sharee'ah and
where there are no shar'i courts, on condition that reference be made
to some of the scholars to define the shar'i ruling that must be
applied in the case at hand, and the demand be limited to what the
scholars have defined as his dues and striving to attain that.
This was stated in the final statement of the Second Conference of
Shar'i Fuqaha' in America, which was heldin Copenhagen, Denmark, with
the Muslim World League, 4-7 Jumaada al-Oola 1425/22-25 November 2004
CE. See the text of the statement in fatwa no. 127179
Sixthly:
If you want to keep yourwife and she has become irrevocably divorced
because the 'iddah that followed the second divorce, if it did indeed
take place, has ended, then what you must do is marry her with a new
marriage contract and mahr. If no divorce took place, then the matter
is clear and she is still your wife.
If there is any advice we can give you regarding this matter, we
advise you to have a good attitude towards your wife, to treat her
kindly and to be patient with any bad attitude from her, and we advise
you to deal with her in an honourable and reasonable manner. Allah,
may He be exalted,says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And live with them honourably"
[an-Nisa' 4:19]
"And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living
expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as
regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable"
[al-Baqarah 2:228].
According to the Sunnah, it was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah
be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) said: "I urge you to be kind towomen."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3153); Muslim (1468).
Note:
With regard to the five separations mentioned, if any of them involved
any mention of divorce, whether by clearly usingthe word or by use of
metaphors, whether it was to take immediate effect or was attached
tosome condition, then that is a whole different matter and it is
essential to explain what really happened.
And Allah knows best.

Dought & clear, - Is it obligatory to informa suitor of hair growing on the face?

It helped me a lot in making the discision I made elhamdullilah.
Introduction. I am not married yet but Ive come to an age that people
are interested but not lot have asked my hand because I am still
studying. In our little community they dont ask hand of girls who are
still studying, I dont know why, maybe they're afraid to be rejected?
Allahu ahlam. But honestly I don't think I'll be able to be a good
whife and a student at the same time but that is something I will
think about when someone will come In Sha Allah. Question: I have a
problem. Certain parts on my body ( legs, armpits, lips) are to hairy
and I even have sideburns. I pluck it so itdoesn't grow fast as when I
shave it ( I do nothing with my sideburns). If you see me, so just my
face cause I way hijaab en abaya, you would never tell that I have
this issue.It's not that I let it grow,definitly not my armpits cause
we are not allowed to alhmdoullilah. I have two question; - Should I
better tell or not tell the man who will ask my hand about my
condition ? And how, trough whom I should say it to him, cause I won't
be sitting with him alone untill I got married and than it's to late i
suppose.
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
There is nothing wrong with a woman removinghair from the face or
lips, whether that is done using something that will stop is appearing
altogether or by removing it every time it appears, because this hair
is one of the things about which nothing is said (in Islam),and such
matters are forgiven.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: What is the
ruling on women removing unwanted hair permanently, i.e., sothat it
will not grow back again, by using cosmetic preparations such as
creams and herbs? Is that regarded as changing the creationof Allah?
He replied: There is nothing wrong with thatand it is not regarded as
the kind of changing that is forbidden. If a man or woman removes hair
from the armpit or pubic region with something that will prevent it
growing back again, there is nothing wrong with that and there is no
sin in it.
End quote fromFataawa Noor 'ala ad-Darb
http://www.binbaz.org.s a/mat/200802
For more information, please see the answer toquestion no. 9037
Secondly:
The basic principle is that any physical defect that is off-putting to
either of the spouses, or causes harm, or leads to missing out on the
purpose of marriage, must be disclosed.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:The ruling is that
any physical defect that is off-putting to the other spouse, in such a
way that the purposes of marriage, such as compassion and love, could
not be achieved, should be disclosed so that suitor may make a
decision in the light of that.
End quote fromZaad al-Ma'aad, 5/166
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The
correctview is that a physical defect is anything that leads to
missing out on the purpose of marriage.Undoubtedly some of the most
important purposes of marriage are pleasure, service andproducing
offspring. If there is anything that prevents fulfillment of these
purposes, then it isa physical defect.
End quote fromash-Sharh al-Mumti', 12/220
The guidelines on determining the kind of physical defect of which one
must inform the husband or suitor, so that he may make a decision in
the light of that, are three:
1.The illness must have an impact on married life and affect the
woman's ability to fulfil the rights of the husband and children.
2.It should be off-putting to the husband if he sees it or smells it.
3.It should be real and permanent, not something imagined or temporary
that will go away with time or after marriage.
Please see the answer to question no. 111980
InFataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa'imah(19/14) it says: If this problem is
temporary and is one of the things that happen to women then
disappear, there is no need to inform the suitor about it. But if
thisproblem is a kind of illness that has an impactor is not a minor,
temporary problem, and the proposal goes aheadwhen she still has the
problem and has not been healed of it, then in that case her guardian
must inform the suitor of that. End quote.
Based on the above:
If this hair can be removed permanently, whether that is by means of
creams, medicines or hormones that control it, then it is prescribed
to remove it and ward off its harm, and it is not necessary toinform
the suitor of that at all.
If it cannot be removed permanently, but it can be taken care of and
whatever appears of it can before it becomes obvious and off-putting
to the husband, then it isnot necessary to inform him of it, but you
have to do that pay attention to it and ward off harm from yourself
and your husband.
Is it so happens that despite paying attentionto it some of it is left
andis off-putting, and the harm cannot be warded off altogether, then
in this case it is necessary to inform the suitor of the situation.
There is no stipulation that this should be done by you telling him
directly; rather it could be done by showing hima medical report about
your condition, or tellingsome trustworthy women among his relatives,
such as his mother or sister, about the situation, and they can then
tell him about it.
And Allah knows best.

Why do we listen to Quran Lectures, even we can't remember everything?

A Masjid (Mosque) goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and
complained that it made no sense to go to Masjid (Mosque). "I've gone
for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something
like 3,000 Lectures. But for the life of me, I can't remember asingle
one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the Imams are wasting
theirs by giving Lectures at all."
This started a real controversy in the"Letters to the Editor" column,
much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone
wrote this clincher.
"I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked
some32,000 meals. But for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire
menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this:They all
nourished me and gave me the strengthI needed to do my work. If my
wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today.
Likewise, if I had not gone to Masjid (Mosque) for nourishment, I
would be spiritually dead today!"
When you are DOWN to nothing.... Allah (SWT)is UP to something! Faith
sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the
impossible! Thank Allah (SWT) for our physical AND our spiritual
nourishment!

Holy Qur'an: Your Companion in the Grave

Rasulullah (saw) said: When a man dies and his relatives are busy in
funeral, there stands an extremely handsome man by his head. When the
dead body is shrouded, that man gets in between the shroud and the
chest of the deceased.
When after the burial, the people return home, two angels, Munkar and
Nakeer, come in the grave and try to separatethis handsome man so that
they may be able to interrogate the dead man in privacy about his
faith. But the handsome man says, He is my companion, he is my friend.
I will not leave him alone in any case. If you are appointed for
interrogation, do your job. I cannot leave him until I get him
admitted into Paradise.
Thereafter he turns to hisdead companion and says, I am the Noble
Qur'an, which you used to read, sometimes in a loud voice and
sometimes in a low voice.Do not worry. After the interrogation of
Munkar and Nakeer, you will have no grief.
When the interrogation is over, the handsome man arranges for him from
Al-Mala'ul A'laa (the angels in Heaven) silk bedding filled with musk.
Also Rasulullah (saw)said:"On the Day of Judgement, before Allah
(SWT), no other intercessor will have a greater status than the Noble
Qur'an, neither a Prophet nor an angel."