With Ramadan upon us, many of our homes naturally infuse with the
excitement and anticipation of this month of fasting, taraaweeh
prayers, night vigils, reciting the Quran, and connecting with family
and friends.
Khutbahs )sermons( abound withinstructions on how to make the most of
this month of mercy and how to make its benefits long lasting. But how
real are the effects of a month of abstaining daily from food and
drink, additional prayer, and giving charity on us as individuals?
The editors of Al-Jumu`ah magazine wanted to know how Muslims in
America evaluated their Ramadan experience.
Does Ramadan accomplish what it should for us personally? Does it make
us more worshipful, improve our characters, and trainus for the year
ahead? Also, how do newly married couples feel about the restraints
Ramadan imposes on them?
To this end, we surveyed men and women asking them to self-evaluate
their Ramadan program. Having spent the last two Ramadans overwhelmed
by natural life changes, I instinctively believed people would have
felt a kind of lag in the recent Ramadans that have passed—too many
Iftaars, not enough time for prayer and reading Quran, little
concentration in our prayer. And dare I say, even missing a few
taraaweeh prayers...?
Ramadan's Long-Lasting Effects
To my pleasant surprise, the Muslims we interviewed were highly
positive about their Ramadan routines. Fully 88 percent of the people
we surveyed said they had special programs they implemented during
this month. Aspects of their routine included reading Quran )across
the board, this wasa daily goal(, attending all of the taraweeh
prayers, Thikr, performing extra prayers, not overeating, Qiyaam, and,
as one of our answerers straightforwardly told us, sin analysis.
Of that group, nearly 100 percent of them said they felt their Ramadan
programs were effective in bringing about positive change to their
worship habits and character beyond the month of Ramadan. How
heartening is that?
"During the month, I get out of work at 3 p.m., giving me time todo
all the above... which is a reminder to me of how busy I have become
in worldly matters and not taking time out for myself or my
spirituality.
"After the month is over, I am reminded of these things, and it stays
with me, or sometimes afterwards. For example, after last Ramadan I
was reminded how little of the Quran I have memorized and that I need
to get closer to the Quran. Since then, I have slowly been trying
tomemorize the 30th juz' and have succeeded," one answerer told us.
This detailed response is quite similar to how others replied:"For me,
it's very helpful because throughout the entire month, mynumber one
goal is to collect as many "hasanaat" as possible. That should be the
case throughout the year, but during this month I'm consciously
tracing all the opportunities for potential thawaab. So for one month,
that's my ultimate goal and anything else that I want to do, like
study or work or socialize, I can make time for later."
Ramadan as a Marriage Foundation
A little more than 35 percent of the people surveyed were newly
married just shortly before Ramadan. Of these, nearly 70 percent were
happy to have beenmarried so close to the month.
If I was surprised by people's positive responses to the long-lasting
effects of their Ramadan routines, I was stunnedby the cheerful
attitude of our respondents about this aspect. I, too, was married
shortly before Ramadan, and my husband and I found it quite difficult.
Our focus had to be away from getting to know each other leisurely and
enjoying "non-worshipful" activities together, and much more toward
fasting, reading Quran, performing taraweeh and so forth.
Suffice it to say, we were a little disappointed by the shift in
focus. But the surveyed were far happier with their first Ramadan as
newlyweds. One articulate respondent said: "Ramadan was only a few
weeks after our wedding. It didn't pose that great a challenge. On the
contrary, it was nice to have that experience so early on, as our
marriage should be based on pleasing Allaah and coming closer to Him
together...it gave us that opportunity to help each other do that by
praying more together and reading books, etc.,together because it's a
time when you don't feel like your pressuring `religiosity' on someone
)as during this time it's something that everyone wants to do(,
whereas otherwise a newly married couple might feel wary to do things
like that so early on together and want to focus their marriage on
`enjoying' their time together. Obviously this is important, but for a
strong marriage it needs to be more than that."
One respondent summed it up asa great opportunity, as both spouses
stopped smoking in Ramadan together.
Other Opinions
The small percentage of people that felt more could come out of
Ramadan are not to be ignored. Some felt, "The month of Ramadan is
fine but after]wards[ everything goes back to normal again."
I think many of us can relate to that. When our families and
communities are all partaking in focused `ibaadah )and it's only for
one month(, it's much easier to keep up the rhythm and commitment to
be worshipful.
But when those special routines come to an abrupt end, it's harder to
continue on that path. As one of our respondents advised, it's really
about how much you put into the month. The more you put in, the
more"focused ]you are[ on realizing that it's a means of bringing]you[
closer to Allaah," the more likely it is that Ramadan will bring
long-lasting benefits to your spiritual life.
Others, primarily women, said they felt that if they had someone to
watch their kids, they could focus more on taraweeh prayer. They also
believed that Mosque etiquette and socialization needed to be worked
on. "]Get[ the women to stop talking during taraweeh. If you are there
to socialize, then don't come!" Furthermore, "starta culture of more
worship and less iftaars during Ramadhan..., for some reason, during
the month of more worship, we create more social obligations of
dinners and reciprocal dinners we need to attend!"
Survey Implications
I am aware that our survey does not include all the diverse voices in
the American Muslim community, nor is its sample sufficient to be
statistically significant. But it was a detailed-response survey, and
for so manyof our respondents to express their positive attitudes
about, not its significance, but the impact of Ramadan on them and
their own experience of it is a cause to be grateful to Allaah, the
only One who guides and setshearts aright. For truly the month of the
Quran, as it is also called, is supposed to be a kind of boot-camp, a
focused and all-out 30-day )or 29( break from normal life, filled with
`ibaadah and good works, so that we build the spiritual muscle to be
the worshipful creatures we were created to be during the marathon
race of the rest of the year.
For this percentage of people surveyed to feel so upbeat about their
Ramadan schedules should encourage us to utilize the month in much the
same way. Mosques and community centers take note: Overwhelmingly,
respondents felt their Ramadan programs were directly tied to
connecting with the community, going to the Mosque, and being around
family and friends that were also on a similar, vigorous worship
program.
Here is my word of advice:
Many of us here in America express an attitude about Ramadan, almost
with pride, that we are a people that remain economically and
academically"productive" in Ramadan. In fact, many of us say we
believe that we increase our "productivity," and work more in Ramadan,
while our fasting and prayer at night don't slow our wear down,they
don't make us produce less, or affect our academic studies. Nor do
they affect the amount of money we earn.
This attitude grows out of a falsematerialistic view. Ramadan teaches
us that there are transcendent values that are worth taking a break
from our yearly routines for, and those are more profound, deeper and
moremeaningful than material values.
In fact, our respondents, who felta meaningful success in Ramadhan,
reflected this in our survey. More than 75 percent of them mentioned
the time they took off or away from work to concentrate on the
spiritual goals they set out for themselvesas being key in their
spiritual success.
In Ramadhan, we refrain from food and drink and sexual pleasure in the
day and strive to worship longer and harder at night. This can
potentially reduceour GPAs, our productivity at work, or cause us to
take days offbecause of the fatigue we experience from our daily
spiritual exertions. But the right attitude toward Ramadhan tells us
that that's okay.
It's not a constant mode of life, our Ramadan routines. It's one month
out of the year. Furthermore, we use this one month out of 12 to build
certain characteristics in ourselves at precisely the expense of
material acquisition. We endeavor to buildtaqwa, resolve, and
psychologicaldiscipline.
We want to instill in ourselves, inthe long run, the spirit of
sacrifice. We desire to train ourselves in the virtues of resilience
and heartiness. So, the message here is not fast and amp up your
worship schedule without it taking a toll on your worldly pursuits,
but take a break from the latter and focus on the former. It's not
only all right to do it, it's what you must do to make Ramadan most
effective.
Our fasting is meant to affect us, to deplete us in a worldly sense,
so as to replenish us in faith and the fear of Allaah Almighty. We
fast out of a belief in the Afterlife,putting our Hereafter
deliberatelyand squarely out in front of our pursuit of the world and
our misguided attempts to consume it, which is exactly as it should
always be. But the heavy spiritualdisciplines of Ramadan—and they
should be arduous amount to a regime that does, indeed, have a major
physical affect on us, and thus should it be.
Now Ramadan is before you. Make it count. Make it last!
'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
-
{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
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