Fathwa, - • Marriage and Engagement • - What is Permissable forthe Suitor to See of the Woman Before the Wedding

Question:
If a man makes a proposal of marriage to a young woman, is it
obligatory for him to seeher? Also, is it correct forthe young woman
to uncover her hair and to reveal her beauty more for her fiancé?
Advise us,and may Allaah benefit you.
Answer:
There is no objection, but it is not obligatory. Rather, it is
preferred forhim to see her, and for her to see him. This is because
the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi was salaam ordered the suitor to look
at her, because that is more likely to produce harmony between them,so
if she uncovers her face, hands and head forhim, there is no
objection, according to the most correct opinion.
Some of the scholars said that it is sufficient for him to see her
face and hands, but the most correct opinion is that there is no
objection to him seeing her head, face, hands and feet, according to
the aforementioned Hadeeth. But it is not permissible for him to do
so, while being alonewith her; rather, her father, her brother or
another must be presentwith her. This is because the Prophet
sallallaahu alayhi was salaam said:
'A man may not be secluded with a woman except with a Mahram.' Muslim no. 1341
He sallallaahu alayhi wassalaam also said:
'A man should not be alone with a woman, forverily Satan makes a
third.' At-Tirmithi no. 2165 and Ahmad 1/18.
Narrated by Imaam Muslim with an authentic chain of narrators, on the
authority of 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him.

--
- - ▓███▓ Translator:-> http://translate.google.com/m/ ▓███▓ - -

Nullifiers of fasting

The following acts, when done knowingly and deliberately in the days
of Ramadhaan , will invalidate the fast. In addition to being
considered great sins, a person committing one of these acts will have
to continue fasting the rest of the day that he/she committed it, and
he/she is also required to take certain measures of reconciliation as
indicated below.
1-Intentional eating, drinking
Allaah Says (what means): "And eat and drink until the white thread of
dawn becomes distinct toyou from the black thread [of night]. Then
complete the fast until the night [i.e. sunset]." [Quran 2:187].
This applies to the one who does so consciously. However, if a person
eatsor drinks forgetfully or accidentally or is forced to do it, the
fasting is intact and the day is not to be made up; and the person
should continue fasting.
Abu Hurayrah reported that Prophet Muhammad said: "Whoever forgets he
is fasting, and eats or drinks is to complete his fast, as it is
Allaah Who fed him and gave him something to drink." [Al-Bukhaari,
Muslim and others]
Ibn Abbaas reported that the Prophet said: "Allaah has excused for my
Ummah (Muslim community) mistakes, forgetfulness and what they are
forced to do." [At-Tahaawi, Al-Haakim and Ad-Daraqutni]
Similar to eating and drinking is smoking (besides being prohibited in
itself) and letting any substance into the stomach.
However, if a person eatsor drinks out of forgetfulness, then he/she
should continue fasting, and the day fasted is valid and counted and
does not need to make up the day.This is based on the Hadeeth
(narration) in which the Prophet said: "If somebody eats ordrinks
forgetfully then heshould complete his fast, for what he has eaten or
drunk, has been given to him by Allaah." [Al-Bukhaari]
Similarly, if a person breaks the fast before the actual Maghrib
(sunset) or after Fajr (dawn) because of a mistake in time
recognition, he is not to make up that day.
2-Sexual intercourse
Just like eating and drinking, Allaah has forbidden sexual intercourse
during the days of Ramadhaan . Almighty Allaah Says (what means):
"It has been made permissible for you the night preceding fasting to
go to your wives [for sexual relations]. They are clothing for you and
you are clothing for them. Allaah knows that you used to deceive
yourselves, so He accepted your repentance and forgave you. So now,
have relations with them and seek that which Allaah has decreed for
you [i.e. offspring]. And eat and drink until the white thread of dawn
becomes distinct to you from the black thread [of night]. Then
complete the fast until the night [i.e. sunset]. And do not have
relations with them as long as you are staying for worship in the
mosques. These are the limits [set by] Allaah, so do not approach
them. Thus does Allaah make clear His verses [i.e. ordinances] to the
people that they may become righteous." [Quran; 2:187]
Muslim scholars differ about stimulating oneself[whether alone or with
his wife or vise versa], without intercourse, to the point of
ejaculation. Some of them treat it as complete intercourse, while
others say that it does not invalidate the fast even though it causes
a loss of its rewards.
3-Intentional vomiting
Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet said: "Whoever is overcome by
vomiting is not to make up the day. Whoever vomits intentionally must
make up the day." [Ahmad and others]
4-Poor Intentions
Failing to intend (i.e. with the heart) to fast from before the dawn
of the day of fast. (Note: voluntary fasting is excluded from this
requirement)
Intending to stop fasting at any moment during the day of fast.
These last two actions arerelated to the heart and to the intention
which is an essential element [or pillar] of fasting. These actions
void the fast evenif the person does not actually eat anything. This
is because the intention is one of the pillars of the fast and, if one
changes his/her intention, he/she has nullified his/her fast.
Except intercourse, a day invalidated by such an action cannot be
atoned by even fasting the whole life. Thus, in addition to the making
up the day, the only way to atone such an act is by true and sincere
repentance and strong determination never to do it again.
The only action, according to most scholars, which requires that both
the day be made up and the act of expiation be performed is having
sexual intercourse during a day of Ramadhaan .
Abu Hurayrah reported that a man came to the Messenger of Allaah, ,
and said: "I am destroyed, O Messenger of Allaah!" The Prophet, ,
asked: "What has destroyed you?" He said,"I had intercourse with my
wife during a day of Ramadhaan ." The Prophet, , asked: "Are you able
to free a slave?" He said, " No ". The Prophet, , asked: "Is it
possible for you to fast for two consecutive months?" He said, "No."
The Prophet, , asked: "Is it possible for you to feed sixty poor
people?" He said, "No." The Prophet, , said: "Then sit." A basket of
dates wasbrought to the Prophet, , and he said to the man: "Give this
in charity." The man said:"To someone poorer thanus? There is no one
in this city who is poorer than us!" The Prophet, , laughed until his
molar teeth could be seen and said: "Go and feed your family with it."
[Al-Bukhaari, Muslim and others]
Most scholars say that both men and women have to perform the acts of
expiation (Kaffaarah) if they intentionally have intercourse during a
day of Ramadhaan on which they had intended to fast.
5-Injections containing nourishment
Though this type of action is committed intentionally and thus falls
under intentional eating and drinking, it is not considered as a sin
if given to a sick person in need of it. All what is needed is to make
up theday later. These injections are meant to give nourishment
intravenously so that it reaches the intestines, with the intention of
nourishing the sick person. Also if the injection reaches the
blood-stream then it likewise breaks the fast since it is being used
in place of food and drink. Similar is the use of drips containing
glucose and saline solutions, and inhalers used by people sick of
asthma. May Allaah relieve all sick believers.
Involuntarily events that break the fast
The fast is disrupted (andthere is no point or reward then in
continuing to fast) when a woman sees the blood caused by either of:
1-Menstruation
2-post-childbirth bleeding
Even if such bleeding begins just before the sunset, the fast of that
day is rendered invalid. Awoman in this case will have to fast a day
later for every day (or part of day) that she missed.
If a menstruating womanbecomes pure (ceases bleeding) before dawn,
then she takes her Ghusl (purifying shower) and intends to fast the
next day. However, if she becomes pure after Fajr (dawn) then she
takes her Ghusl, and starts praying as usual, and the day has to be
made up after Ramadhaan . She may eat and drink duringthat day as it
is an invalidday as Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen observed.
The Prophet, , said: "Is it not that when she [the woman] menstruates,
shedoes not pray nor fast?" We (present companions)said: Yes indeed.
He said: "That is the deficiency in her Deen [religion]". [Muslim]
The order to make up for the days of menstruation is reported in the
lesson `Aa'ishah, , gave to Mu`aath, , who came and asked her "Why is
it that the menstruating woman has to make up her fasts but not the
prayers?" …`Aa'ishah said: "That (menstruation) used to come upon us
and so we were ordered (by the Prophet, slallallaahu alayhi wa sallam
) to make up the fasts and were never ordered to make up the prayers."
[Al-Bukhaari and Muslim] - - ▓███▓ Translator:->
http://translate.google.com/m/ ▓███▓ - -

Your Future is in the Hands of the Best Planner

Motivational speaker andauthor of several self-help books, Denis
Waitley has said, "Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the
past and enjoy working in the present towards the future." We can
develop apositive attitude towardsour future by refusing to dwell on
past hardships, realising that they cannotbe changed, and knowing that
stressing oneself over them is useless as well as foolish. We must
train ourselves to shun depressing thoughts and reject feelings of
fear and anxiety over what might happen in the future.
All future events and circumstances, whether good, pleasant, evil or
difficult are impossible topredict and are totally under the control
of The Almighty and All-Wise; none of the slaves of Allaah The
Almighty have any control over them. Allwe can do is to strive hard to
achieve virtuousness and preventharm from befalling us.
A believer should rely on Allaah The Almighty for favours and
wellbeing and be content with his lot in life. This makes the heart
tranquil, improves his general circumstancesand removes anxiety and
grief.
A beneficial way of dealing with anxiety about the future is to usethe
supplication of the Prophet, , in which he used to say: "O Allaah!
make my religion easy for me by virtue of whichall my affairs are
protected, set right for me my world in which I live, make good for me
my Hereafter which is theresort to which I must return, make my life a
means of increase in achieving all types of good, and make death a
relief for me from every evil." [Muslim].
Also, his saying, : "O Allaah! I hope for Your mercy, so do not leave
me to myself even for (as short a time as) the blinking of an eye and
rectify for me all my affairs. Nothing is worthyof being worshipped
except You alone." [Abu Daawood]
If one repeatedly utters these supplications with a sincere and
attentive heart, while simultaneously striving toimprove his future,
AllaahThe Almighty will certainly respond to the supplications and
grant success.
On the other hand, being emotionally prepared forhardships reduces the
harms that result from sudden afflictions. Being in a state of
preparedness also reduces anxiety, since theanxiety will be replaced
by enthusiasm to get the very best out of the situation in a manner
that minimises harm as far as possible. The best way to handle a
situationthat causes fear, sickness,poverty, or loss of cherished
items, is to staycalm and then prepare toface the worst of it, because
expecting hardship and acquainting oneself with it reduces its impact,
especially if at the same time one keeps himself busy by striving to
prevent it as much as possible.
Of course, this is only in addition to completely relying on and
putting one's trust in Allaah The Almighty. Complete reliance on
Allaah The Almighty is the primary source of strength that helps one
face afflictions and helps to gain the reward from Allaah The Almighty
for his perseverance.
One of the most effective cures for the diseases of the heart (whether
physical or emotional) is having a strong, resilient heart that is
free from anxiety and imaginary illusions brought on by evil thoughts.
This is because when a person succumbs to his imagination, his heart
begins reacting to it. Therefore, if one is unduly worried about
sickness, anger, harm, evil and the loss of loved ones, this will
affect the heart and make a person more anxious and fearful, and
result in physical and emotional diseases of the heart. These thoughts
may evenlead to a person having anervous breakdown, which has serious
health repercussions.
Hospitals are filled with people who suffer from delusions and morbid
imaginations; even strong-hearted people have been affected by this,
let alone the weak-hearted, and this has led many of those who have
been affected by this to do countless foolish and ridiculous things.
However, the one who is safe from all this isthe one whom Allaah
TheAlmighty has granted the ability to struggle againsthis desires and
engage inbeneficial acts which strengthen his heart and expel anxiety
and grief. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): } "And whosoever
puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him." { [Quran, 65: 3],
meaning He will suffice him in all that concerns him, in worldly
matters as well as those of the Hereafter. - - ▓███▓
Translator:-> http://translate.google.com/m/ ▓███▓ - -

Three steps to a happy life

Happiness is the universalgoal of people from all walks of life – be
they philosophers of a high intellectual caliber or unlettered
laborers -- everyone strives in search of happiness and looks for ways
to escape the worries of life.
However, most people achieve only partial or superficial happiness,
which provides temporary relief from their problems. In order to
search for everlasting happiness that will lead aperson to true
success, one must keep an open heart and mind, as the wise one is he
who searches for the truth and adopts it immediately.
1. The most important means of happiness and the foundation of
all felicity is to have sound belief and perform righteous deeds.
Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {"Whoeverworks righteousness
(whether male or female)while he (or she) is a truebeliever (of
Islaamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this
world with respect, contentment andlawful provision), and Weshall pay
them certainly areward in proportion to the best of what they used to
do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)."} [Quran,16: 97]
Allaah The Almighty promises whoever possesses sound belief and
performs righteous deeds that he will have a happy life and will also
be rewarded in the eternal Hereafter.
The reason for this is obvious: those who have the correct belief
which leads to righteous deeds, reformed hearts and refined manners
have the basic foundation thatthey can refer to in any event –
regardless of whether these are matters which cause joy and happiness
or sorrow and dejection.
The Prophet describedthis quality of the true believers when he said:
"How wonderful is the affair of the believer! All of his affairs are
good and this is the case for nobody except a believer. If he is
blessed with prosperity he thanks (Allaah) and that is good for him;
and if heis afflicted with adversity he perseveres and that is also
good for him." [Muslim]
The Prophet informed us that a believer's reward would be multiplied
many times over, regardless of whether what befalls himbrings him joy
or sorrow.
2. Keep oneself busy inperforming beneficial deeds and acquiring
useful knowledge.
By doing so, one's heart is diverted from whatever causes it grief and
sorrow, to the extentthat a person may completely forget his worries
and unhappinessand become happy and energized. This is something that
is common to believers andothers, but the believer isdistinct due to
his belief, sincerity, and his hope for reward while learning or
performing beneficial deeds. If this deed is an act of worship then he
will receive the reward for it, and if it is aworldly task which is
accompanied with a good intention, such as working for the sake of
being able to worship Allaah The Almighty better, then this will havea
strong effect in removing his anxiety andgrief.
3. Concentrating on the tasks at hand, not being anxious about
the future and not crying over the past is another way of attaining
happiness.
This is why the Prophet sought refuge with Allaah The Almighty from
anxiety and sorrow. Usually, a person experiences sorrow due to what
has passed and cannot be retrieved, whereas grief is due to anxiety
for the future and the fear of what mayhappen.
A believing slave of Allaah The Almighty should live for the current
moment, focus, and exert the utmost effort to utilize his time in the
best possible way. This will enable him to accomplish his tasks and
forget his sorrow and grief. When the Prophet made a particular
supplication or guided his nation to do so, he would also encourage
them to exert efforts to obtain what they supplicated for and shun
everything which might prevent the prayer from being answered.
As the Prophet said: "Be keen to do that which will benefit you, rely
on Allaah, and do notbe lazy (by not exerting effort) and say when a
problem befalls you: 'If only I would have done such and such, then
the result would have been such and such' rather, one should say:
'This was decreed by Allaah and He does what He wills.' Saying 'If'
opens the gatefor Satan (to cause discontent)." [Muslim]

--
- - ▓███▓ Translator:-> http://translate.google.com/m/ ▓███▓ - -