Fathwa - Complaints of a second wife

Question
Salam alaykoum, ive been married for 10 months now as a second wife
(in a non-muslim country). my husband is often abroad, but when he is
in the country, he lives with his 1. wife and their children in a
house, in another city, then he comes to me (but its very seldom, in
these 10 months we only spent 7 weeks together). he asked me if i
would moveto their house as there is one floor, which is free
(separate entrance). i rejected, as i dont want to be forced to be in
contact with the 1. wife - i dont feel confident withpolygamy - i
tolerate it, as long as im not faced with the 1. wife and theirlife
together. it would be no problem for my husband to rent or even to buy
a flat for us, he is wealthy enough, but he says im disobedient to him
and since weve beenmarried, he refuses to provide means of sustenance
to me. he alsouses condoms - against my will - so i cant get pregnant,
but he claims he wants to have children with me. few days ago he told
me, we could have children, if i say "yes" to the next wife, he is
going to take. what do you think about all this situation? im pretty
confused. i consider to ask him for khul, because in my eyes, he
doesnt give me my rights (maintenance & children) - am i right or
wrong? his mahr for me was omra. what should i give him back? jazak
Allahu Kheir salam alaykoum
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad
isHis slave and Messenger.
If your husband is not just between you and his other wife with regard
tostaying overnight equallywith each of you, then heis wrong and is
against the order of the Sharee'ah because a husband is obligated to
be just between his wives even if they are in different countries as
stated by the jurists . For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 90663
.
The wife has the right upon her husband for a separate residence and
for him to spend on her as we clarified in Fataawa 85012 and 84608 .
Therefore, if the house which your husband asked you to move into has
separate facilities, then it is an obligation on you to obey him,
because it is an obligation on the wife to obey her husband in what is
permissible and reside with him wherever he resides. If you refuse,
then you are disobedient and being disobedient makes you lose your
right upon him in spending on you and being just with you and his
other wife in regard to staying overnight withyou.
However, if he refuses to spend on you without a sound reason, and you
find any money of his, then it is permissible for you to take from it
(according to your need) without his knowledge. If you are not able to
do so, you are permitted to take the matter to the authorities that
are specialized in dealing with the personal matters of the Muslims,
such as Islamic Centers, sothat they would oblige him to spend on you
or oblige him to divorce youif he refuses to spend on you while you
want divorce.
On the other hand, your husband is not permittedto prevent you from
having children without a sound excuse as havingchildren is the right
of both spouses. Besides, heis not permitted to use a condom without
your consent as, in this case, he is preventing you from having
children andfrom full enjoyment. For more benefit, please refer to
Fataawa 163651 and 195927 .
As regards him marrying a third wife in case he is able to be just
between all of you (i.e. his wives), then this is permissible for him
and it does not depend on your permission for him to marry.
Accordingly, he has no right to make your consent to his third
marriage a condition for having children with you,because having
children is your right as a wife as we have already mentioned.
For more benefit on the wisdom and conditions of polygamy, please
referto Fataawa 81469 , 90132 and 86818 .
Finally, if a wife is harmed by staying with her husband, she has the
right to seek divorce or Khul'; the compensation for Khul' could be
any money that is agreed upon by both spouses and it does not
necessarily have to be (returning) the dowry. - - ▓███▓
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Fathwa - Who pays burial expenses of a Muslim?

Question
How can I insure that I will receive a proper Muslim burial that will
bepaid for in the event of my death without the aidof life insurance?
My mother will respect my wishes but she is not a Muslim so she has no
knowledge nor does she have the funds.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad
, is His Slave and Messenger.
Expenses of preparing the deceased for burial should be paid from his
estate before dividing it. This takes precedence over all other rights
such as paying off his debts, executing his will and theright of
heirs.
If the deceased does not have any wealth, then preparing him for
burial is the duty of the one who is obligated to spend on him (such
as the father and the like), and if that one does not have enough
money, then it must be done by the Muslim community as a whole.
What you can do is write a will so that the Islamic teachings
regarding burying you should be followed and this is to beentrusted to
Muslims in your country. In this way,you would be free from liability,
Allaah willing. Punishment will befall the one who goes against that
will. For more benefit, kindly refer to Fatwa 85432 .
We would like to note that insurance on one's life, if it is done by a
commercial insurance company - as the question implies - then it is
not permissible. Whoever participated in that form of insurance should
repent to Allaah The Almighty and withdraw that subscription if
possible and not take any money except the premiums thathe/she had
paid to the insurance company. - - ▓███▓ Translator:->
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Fathwa - Conditions of the validity of Khul’

Question
Assalamualailum, I have few doubts in regards to Khula
-Talaq-Marriage. My friend married a girl 3years back. This was
against both the parents wish and knowledge. They both dint tell at
their homes regarding their marriage and stayed in their respective
parents homes. When theparents came to know about their marriage , the
girls father asked his daughter to take the khula which was against
her wish and also asked the boy to accept it. Neither the girl nor the
boy wanted to get divorced. After few months when the boy rejected the
khula request, the girls father involved police and forced the boy to
take the khula in the police station. During this time , nor even
after the khula which was happened, the boy and the girl never stayed
together. I've few questions relating to this topic. 1.Is forced khula
taken into account?As khula is valid only with the consent of husband
and wife.And also khula can only be requested on valid grounds by the
wife. 2.According to Behashti Zewar English translation,it states that
ifkhula is requested at onepoint in time and it was not accepted by
the husband and after a timeperiod it was accepeted then that khula is
not valid.Is this true ? 3.If neither the husband , northe wife wanted
to take the khula but it was forced by external factors, then is this
khula valid or not? 4.Also there was no contact between the husband
and wife, not even after their nikah, nor even after the forced khula
they were in touch with each other so that they could rejoin or
revoke.Is this valid ? Please Advise.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad
isHis slave and Messenger.
First of all, if this marriage took place without the consent of the
Wali (the woman's guardian), then this is a void marriage because the
consent of the Wali is a condition for the validity of the marriage
according to the most preponderant opinion of the scholars as we
clarified in Fatwa 83629 .
Therefore, this girl is not Islamically considered a wife to that man,
and theseparation in such a marriage can either be by the husband
issuing divorce to his wife, or, if he refuses, the judge invalidates
his marriage. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 92478 .
With regard to the questions which you asked about a forced Khul',
then the answer in general will be as follows:
The consent of both spouses is a necessary condition for the validity
of Khul', and if Khul' takes place under compulsion, the Khul' is not
valid. The compulsionthat should be taken intoaccount is the
compulsion that makes the person do what he is forced to do, and this
kind of compulsion comes from a person who could execute it, while one
predominantlythinks that it will be carried out if he does notrespond
to such a threat; also the person is to be threatened by somethingby
which he will be greatly harmed, like being killed, beaten or
imprisoned for a long time...etc.
It should be mentioned here that the wife is not permitted to ask for
Khul'except for a sound Islamic reason, but if she asks for Khul'
without a sound reason and the husband accepted it withhis own free
will, then Khul' takes place and it is valid. This is the answer for
your first and third questions.
As regards the second question, what you have read is correct, as
there should be a continuation [i.e. no interruption] between the
request of Khul' and accepting it; as the jurists, when speaking about
the wording of Khul', stated that it is a condition that no irrelevant
words should be said between requesting the Khul' and accepting it.
As regards the fourth question, it is not clear tous. In any case,
what we can say is to confirm what we have already mentioned that
Khul' when being forced does not take place. The fact that there was
no sexual intercourse does not affect the validity of Khul'if it had
taken place in a valid manner, nor does it affect its invalidity if it
was void.
Allaah Knows best.

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The essential pillars of marital life

Marital happiness is a dream that all husbands and wives have had
sincethe beginning of time and many spouses are still trying to
fulfill this dream through all possible means. Nevertheless, being
awayfrom the true teachings of Islam and sound prophetic guidance has
led them to confusion between the different means: Western and
Eastern. However, when one returns to the Sunnah of the Prophet he
will inevitably reach his goal. Allaah The Almighty has granted
success to one of the callers to Allaah to compile the pillars of the
marital life, which are:
First: good intention:
This means that the spouses should begin their marital life with a
sincere intention to obtain the pleasure of Allaah The Almighty. This
would be displayed in the following matters:
1 – Maintaining ones' chastity, guarding the private parts against
committing sin, lowering the gaze and fulfilling each spouse's
responsibility towards the other.
2 – Establishing the Muslim home in concordance with the methodology
of Allaah The Almighty.
3 – Producing righteous offspring who affirm thatthere is nothing
worthy of worship except Allaah and who worship Him as He should be
worshipped.
Second: Cooperation withone another in obeying Allaah The Almighty.
Third: Establishing a Muslim home and family.
Fourth: Building the marital relationship on love, mercy and kind association.
Before talking about marital happiness, there is a set of rules that a
wife should comprehend and be fully aware of:
First: a human being has three levels:
This is specific to mental and cognitive aspects.
Second: a woman must distinguish between two things:
This is specific to instinctsand desires (the abdomen and sexual organs).
2 - Good association (affection and mercy), and this also has its components.
Satisfying the husband's needs according to his age as well as his
economic status are components of stability. The woman should knowthe
man's needs and the manner in which he thinks.
A righteous woman can achieve her husband's essential needs in terms
of security and efficiency,as stated in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
This includes the basic needs:
Through maintaining his wealth and honor, in addition to patience,
chastity, and so on.
Through satisfying basic needs, sexual desires etc.
He is looking for a lovingwife and a friend. Add-ons:
Third, a pious woman never asks until she gives:
Such a woman gives first and then asks. A Bedouin woman offered her
daughter the following advice on her wedding day, "Be an earth for him
and he will be your sky; be a bondmaid for him and he will be your
slave."
This is an indispensable introduction that should be known before
discussing marital happiness and its components in detail.
Sufficiency:
Security:
3 - The lower level:
1 – The stability of the home, and this has its components.
2 – The middle level:
1 - The highest level:
This is specific to feelings and emotions (heart and sentiment).
Fifth: Forgiveness and pardoning.
Sixth: Calmness at times of anger. - - ▓███▓ Translator:->
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