Fathwa - Marriage and Engagement, - The Ruling on Giving a Daughter in Marriage to One Who Does Not Pray

Question:
One of my kin has proposed to my daughter and I am under an obligation
to him, (for example, for having lent him money, or shown some
kindnessto him etc.) but he is addicted to alcohol and he keeps
company with bad people and prays little, or does not pray atall. He
is also addicted to watching videos and television and other
time-wasting devices and I am in difficulty regarding him. I request
clarification of the rulingof Islam in the matter.
Answer:
If the person proposing to your daughter is as you have described him,
then it is not permissiblefor you to give her in marriage to him,
because she is a trust in your hands, so it is incumbent for you to
choose for her the most righteous man in his religion and his
character.
It is not permissible for aperson who does not pray to be married to a
Muslim woman who does pray, since he is nota suitable match for her,
because abandoning theprayer is an act of major disbelief, according
to the saying of the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi was salam:
'Between a man and polytheism and disbelief is the abandonment of
prayer.' (muslim no.82)
And the saying of the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi was salam:
'The covenant between us and them is prayer; whoever abandons it has
committed an act of disbelief.' (At-tirmithi no.2621)
Narrated by Imam Ahmad and the compilers of the Sunan, with an
authentic chain of narrators.
There are many other evidences in the Book (of Allaah) and the Sunnah
which prove the disbelief of one who abandons the prayer, even if he
does not reject its obligation, according to the most correct of two
opinions held by the scholars. However, if he rejects its obligation
or mocked it, then he is guilty of major disbelief according to the
consensus of the Muslims.
As for the one who drinks alcohol but prays, he is not guilty of
disbelief by doing this, as long as he does not claim that it is
permissible, but he has committed a major sin and he has gone astray
thereby. Therefore, it is lawful for you not to give her in marriage
to him, even if he prays, due to his sin and because he might lead his
wife and children to this great crime.
We ask Allaah to improve the situation of the Muslims and guide them
to His Straight Path, and to preserve us and them from obeying vain
desires and Satan, for verily, He is Most Generous, Most Noble. - -
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Fathwa - Marriage and Engagement, - The Disbelieving FatherMay Not be a Guardian ofHis Daughter in Marriage

Question:
A young Muslim man wants to marry a Muslim girl, but her father, who
is a habitual drinker, and an apostate always refuses. Is it
permissable for this father to contract the marriage of his daughter?
Answer:
If she is a Muslim, then there is no objection to the young Muslim man
marrying her. But her father may not be her guardian if he is a
disbeliever; instead, her brother may give her in marriage, if she has
a good brother, or her paternal uncle, or her paternal cousin, or her
brother's son - if she has paternal Muslim relatives- then the nearest
of them may give her in marriage. And if there is no one besides the
disbelieving father, the Judge may give her in marriage. - - ▓███▓
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Fathwa - Marriage and Engagement, - The Suitable Age For Marriage

Question:
What is the suitable age for marriage for men and women, because some
young women do not accept marriage from those who are older than them?
Likewise, some men do not marry women who are older than them. We
request a response and may Allaah reward you with goodness.
Answer:
I advise young women not to refuse marriage from a man due to his age,
such as being ten, twenty or thirty years older than her. This is not
a reason, because the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi was salam, married
'A'ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, when he was fifty-three
years old and she was a girl of nine years old. So being older does
not harm. There is no sinin the woman being older, nor any sin in the
man being older, because the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi was salam,
married Khadijah,may Allaah be pleased with her, when she was forty
years old and he was twenty-five years old, before the Revelation came
to him, sallallaahu alayhi was salam; that is, she, may Allaah be
pleased with her, was fifteen years older than him. Then he married
'A'ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, when she was small - six or
seven years old and he was fifty-three years old.
Many of those who speak on the radio or television deter people from
marriage between men and women of differing ages - this is all wrong &
saying such things is not permissablefor them. It is obligatory for a
woman to look at the (prospective) husband, and if he is righteous and
suitable, she should agree, even ifhe is older than her. Similarly, a
man should devote himself to finding a righteous, religious woman,
even ifshe is older than him, if she is still young and stillfertile.
In short, the age should not be an excuse and it should not be
considered something shameful, as long as the man is righteous and
thewoman is righteous. MayAllaah reform the situation of us all.

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Fathwa - Complaints of a second wife

Question
Salam alaykoum, ive been married for 10 months now as a second wife
(in a non-muslim country). my husband is often abroad, but when he is
in the country, he lives with his 1. wife and their children in a
house, in another city, then he comes to me (but its very seldom, in
these 10 months we only spent 7 weeks together). he asked me if i
would moveto their house as there is one floor, which is free
(separate entrance). i rejected, as i dont want to be forced to be in
contact with the 1. wife - i dont feel confident withpolygamy - i
tolerate it, as long as im not faced with the 1. wife and theirlife
together. it would be no problem for my husband to rent or even to buy
a flat for us, he is wealthy enough, but he says im disobedient to him
and since weve beenmarried, he refuses to provide means of sustenance
to me. he alsouses condoms - against my will - so i cant get pregnant,
but he claims he wants to have children with me. few days ago he told
me, we could have children, if i say "yes" to the next wife, he is
going to take. what do you think about all this situation? im pretty
confused. i consider to ask him for khul, because in my eyes, he
doesnt give me my rights (maintenance & children) - am i right or
wrong? his mahr for me was omra. what should i give him back? jazak
Allahu Kheir salam alaykoum
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad
isHis slave and Messenger.
If your husband is not just between you and his other wife with regard
tostaying overnight equallywith each of you, then heis wrong and is
against the order of the Sharee'ah because a husband is obligated to
be just between his wives even if they are in different countries as
stated by the jurists . For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 90663
.
The wife has the right upon her husband for a separate residence and
for him to spend on her as we clarified in Fataawa 85012 and 84608 .
Therefore, if the house which your husband asked you to move into has
separate facilities, then it is an obligation on you to obey him,
because it is an obligation on the wife to obey her husband in what is
permissible and reside with him wherever he resides. If you refuse,
then you are disobedient and being disobedient makes you lose your
right upon him in spending on you and being just with you and his
other wife in regard to staying overnight withyou.
However, if he refuses to spend on you without a sound reason, and you
find any money of his, then it is permissible for you to take from it
(according to your need) without his knowledge. If you are not able to
do so, you are permitted to take the matter to the authorities that
are specialized in dealing with the personal matters of the Muslims,
such as Islamic Centers, sothat they would oblige him to spend on you
or oblige him to divorce youif he refuses to spend on you while you
want divorce.
On the other hand, your husband is not permittedto prevent you from
having children without a sound excuse as havingchildren is the right
of both spouses. Besides, heis not permitted to use a condom without
your consent as, in this case, he is preventing you from having
children andfrom full enjoyment. For more benefit, please refer to
Fataawa 163651 and 195927 .
As regards him marrying a third wife in case he is able to be just
between all of you (i.e. his wives), then this is permissible for him
and it does not depend on your permission for him to marry.
Accordingly, he has no right to make your consent to his third
marriage a condition for having children with you,because having
children is your right as a wife as we have already mentioned.
For more benefit on the wisdom and conditions of polygamy, please
referto Fataawa 81469 , 90132 and 86818 .
Finally, if a wife is harmed by staying with her husband, she has the
right to seek divorce or Khul'; the compensation for Khul' could be
any money that is agreed upon by both spouses and it does not
necessarily have to be (returning) the dowry. - - ▓███▓
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