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Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Altruism

If it is easy for you to givewithout being annoyed, you are a generous
person. If you are one of those who donate profusely and retain only
little for themselves, you are openhanded. However, if you give while
in need yourself, you have reached the highest degree of generosity:
altruism; this stems from staunch faith, genuine love, perseverance
and steadfastness, and hope of reward from Allaah The Almighty.
The following are some of the most important factors that urge one to
favor others over his or her self:
1- Love of good manners and abhorrence of incivility: one's level of
self-sacrifice is proportionate to one's desire to possess good
morals, because favoring others is the epitome of courtesy.
2- Dislike of stinginess: anyone who hates miserliness knows that
there is no means of countering it other than with generosity and
kindacts.
3- Respect of the rights ofothers: when a person gives people their
due and respect, he or she meticulously fulfills their rights, fully
aware that if he or she does not reach the level of altruism, he or
she will not give others their due.
4- Belittling the worldly life and aspiring for the Hereafter: if
people are primarily concerned withthe next life, the worldly one
becomes inconsequential in their sight; they know that they will be
recompensedfor whatever they give here, on the Day of Resurrection
when they will be in dire need.
5- Adapting oneself to tolerating hardship and distress: this helps
one reach a degree of self-sacrifice that may result in poverty and
harsh conditions; so, if a person is not accustomedto endurance, he or
she will not be capable of giving while in need.
Degrees of altruism
Among the scholars who have divided altruism into varying degrees, is
Ibn ul-Qayyim who said:
"The first level is to favor others over yourself in that which does
not diminish your commitment to the religion, hinder your path [to
Allaah] or waste your time; this means that you favor their interests
over your own, such as when you feed them while you are hungry, dress
them whileyou are still unclothed and offer them water while you are
thirsty. However, this should not lead you to commit anything
Islamically prohibited. Thus, any act that results in reforming your
heart, time and standing with Allaah The Almighty, should not be an
object of sacrifice. If you favor others at the expense of such acts,
you are actually ignorantly favoring Satan over Him.
The second degree is to give preference to the pleasure of Allaah The
Almighty over the satisfaction of people, even if its repercussions
are so severe that one's body and faculties cannot afford them. This
act entails that one wantsand does whatever pleases Him, although it
may result in the anger of His creatures. This is the degree of the
Prophets of Allaah, whereas the Messengers were at a higher level, and
the resolute Messengers, may Allaah exalt their mention, even more
esteemed.
However, the Prophet occupies the highest level of all, as he resisted
the whole world, devoted himself to calling others to Allaah The
Almighty, bore the animosity of both relatives and strangers for His
sake and favored His pleasure over anyone else's, in all aspects,
fearing the criticism of no one. His intention, concern and endeavors
were all dedicated to satisfying Allaah The Almighty, conveying His
message, rendering His Words the uppermost and fighting His enemies
until His religion became superior over all others, its argument
established against the worlds and His favor perfectly bestowed on the
believers. The Prophet conveyed the message, delivered the trust,
advised the Ummah, strove ardently in the way of Allaah The Almighty
and worshipped Him until he passed away. Therefore, no one attained as
exalted a degree of altruism as the Prophet .
As for a person who favors people's approval over that of Allaah The
Almighty, it is His unchangeable tradition that He makes their
satisfaction impossible toachieve and he or she is forsaken by them,
with only him/herself to blame. Indeed, someone whose praise is sought
will eventually vilify and the one whose satisfaction is desired, will
become displeased. Accordingly, the person who seeks the approval or
delight of others will neither achieve his or hergoal, nor attain the
reward of the pleasure ofthe Lord; and this is the weakest and most
foolishperson."
Ash-Shaafi'i said, "Satisfying people is an unattainable goal.
Therefore, adhere to what makes you righteous; and that is possible
only if we favor the satisfaction of the Lord over that of others."
Some Arabic verses of poetry speak about this, such as those that
read:
I wish that my bond with You [O Allaah] remains sweet
Even if life becomes bitter;
I wish that You are pleased [with me],
Even if all people are disgruntled;
I wish that what is between me and You is good,
Even if my relations with people are not.
If You love me, every problem will seem easy
And everything on earth will amount to nothing.
The third degree of altruism is to attribute this quality to Allaah
The Almighty and not one's own self, and to admit that these
self-sacrificing acts are by His Command, thereby submitting them to
Him. Consequently, if we do favor others over our own self, it means
that it is Allaah The Almighty Who did so in reality, for He is the
actual Giver.
Memorable acts of self-sacrifice
History has brightly recorded many immortal examples of Muslims
attaining the exalted degree and the paramount quality of altruism.
Once, a woman came to the best of creation, the last Prophet and the
leader of Messengers, , and presented a garment to him, saying: "O
Messenger of Allaah, this is [a gift] for you." The Prophet, ,
accepted it and wore it as he was in need of it; then, one of the
Companions sawhim wearing it, and said to him, "What a beautiful
garment! Give it to me!" The Prophet, , indicated his willingness to
do that; then, when he had left, the other Companions reproached the
man, saying, "Youdid not do a good thing when you asked the Prophet to
hand it to you while you see that he is short of [clothes]; and you
know that he never declines to give anything if asked." He explained,
"I sought the blessing of the garment as the Prophet had worn it; and
I wished I could be shrouded in it."
We see similar acts of favoring others even in the Companions and
those that succeeded them . Abu Hurayrah narrates: "A man came to the
Prophet who sent [for some food for him] to his wives, but they
replied: 'We have nothing except water.' So, he asked, 'Who will
receive this man as a guest?' A man from the Ansaar [supporters in
Madeenah] said, 'I will.' He then took the man [home] to his wife and
said to her, 'Host the guest of the Messenger of Allaah hospitably.'
She replied, 'We have nothing except the food of my children.' He
instructed, 'Prepare your food, light your lamp and put your kids to
sleep, if they ask for supper.' Therefore, she prepared her food, lit
her lantern and made her children lie down; she then stood up,
pretending to fix her lamp, when, in reality, she turned it off. Then,
both husbandand wife, pretended to eat beforetheir guest [so as not to
let him know of their dilemma], but actually went to bed hungry. In
the morning, when the Ansaar man went to the Messenger of Allaah he
said, 'Tonight, Allaah laughed [or wondered] at your action.' Then
Allaah The Almighty revealed the verse (what means): {But [they] favor
[others] over themselves, even though they are in privation. And
whoever is protected from the stinginess of his soul - it is those who
will be the successful.} [Quran 59: 9]
Likewise, another of the Ansaar offered to relinquish half of his
property to an emigrant who was paired up with him through the bonds
of brotherhood; he even gave him both, the option to marry one of his
wives, who he would divorce for him. However, the Muhaajir (emigrant
from Makkah) refused, praying, "May Allaah bless for you your wives
and possessions." In yet another paradigm of altruism, Abu Talhah
Al-Ansaari who was the richest of the Ansaar , had a favorite land, a
garden called Bayruhaa' . When he heard a verse in which Allaah The
Almighty Says (what means): {Never will you attain the good [reward]
until you spend [in the way of Allaah] from that which you love}
[Quran 3:92], he went tothe Prophet, , and donated it as charity for
His sake.
Another Companion, Qays ibn Sa'd ibn 'Ubaadah once fell ill;when he
did not receive any visitors, he asked after them and was informed,
"They are ashamed to visit you because of the debt they owe you." He
remarked, "May Allaah debase money that prevents brothers from paying
visits." Then, he ordered someone to announce: "Whoever is indebted to
Qays, is relieved of repayment." That night, his threshold broke, due
tothe large number of people who came to see him.
But, perhaps the exemplars of self-sacrifice among our predecessors,
are the three who favored the other's lives over their own. Huthayfah
Al-'Adawi relates, "I went looking for my cousin on the battlefield
during the war of Al-Yarmook. I had some water and mentally noted, 'If
he still has any breath, Iwill give him some water to drinkand will
wipe his face with it.' I found him and asked, 'Should I give you
water to drink?' He made an affirmative gesture; but then we heard
someone gasp, so he signaled to me to take the water to that man, who
was Hishaam ibn Al-'Aas. When I asked him if I should give him water
to drink, he replied positively, but we heard another man cry out,
"Ah!" Therefore, Hishaam made a sign to me, telling me to go to that
man. When I went to him, I found that he had already expired. When I
returned to Hishaam, I discoveredhe, too, had passed away; and when I
returned to my cousin, I saw that he had died as well, may Allaah have
mercy on all of them!"
Benefits of altruism
If there is no advantage of altruism other than the fact that it
demonstrates the perfection and strength of one's faith, and noble
manners, that would be a good enough reason to practice it. In fact,
favoring others over oneself is also a way to the love of Allaah The
Almighty, intimacy among people, incurring blessings and protection
against stinginess.

--
- - ▓███▓ Translator:-> http://translate.google.com/m/ ▓███▓ - -

Sins of the Tongue - Calling Self Disbeliever in an Argument.

When I was having an argument with one of my relatives, I uttered the
words, "I am a kafir (disbeliever)" and I slapped myself on the face.
Please note that I regret what happened and I need direction
andguidance. What is the religious ruling in this case? Do I have to
offer any expiation?
Praise be to Allah
Inna Lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji'oon (Verily toAllah we belong and
unto Him is our return). We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound in
this world and in the Hereafter, and we ask Him for a good end and to
cause us to die in faith.
You should realize that you have fallen into the worst and most
abhorrent of sins, which is the sin of kufr (disbelief) and apostasy,
Allah forbid.
The words which you say that you said are a clear statement of kufr
and apostasy. The scholars said: when a person utters the words of
kufr, he is judged to be an apostate (if he knew the meaning of the
words) and he need not be asked about his intention, as Allah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"If you ask them (about this), they declare: 'We were only talking
idly and joking.' Say: 'Was it at Allah, and His Ayaat (proofs,
evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and His
Messenger that you were mocking?" [9:65]
Allah stated that they disbelieved after having believed, even though
they said, "We spoke thewords without believingthem, we were only
talking idly and joking."
Ibn Nujaym said: Whoever speaks the words of kufr, jokingly or
otherwise, is a kafir according to all the scholars, and it doesn't
matter what his real belief is. End quote. Al-Bahr al-Raa'iq. See also
Nawaaqid al-Eemaan al-Qawliyyah wa'l-'Amaliyyah.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen said:
If he utters words that put him beyond the paleof Islam, such as
saying that he is a Jew or a Christian or Magian or that he has
nothing to do with Islam, or with the Quran or the Prophet(peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him), thenhe is a kafir and an apostate,
and we take him at his word. End quote. Al-Sharh al-Mumti'
Apostasy is an extremely serious matter. The scholars differed
concerning one who apostatizes then repents:will any of the reward for
his previous deeds remain, or is it all erasedbecause of his apostasy?
Shaykh al-Fawzaan was asked the following question:
What is the ruling on one who apostatizes from Islam then returns to
it? Should he repeat his previous deeds in accordance with the pillars
of Islam, such as Hajj, fasting and prayer, or is it sufficient for
him to repent and return to Islam?
He replied:
The correct scholarly view is that if the apostate returns to Islamand
enters Islam anew, repenting to Allah, then he does not need to repeat
the deeds that hedid before apostatizing, because Allah has stipulated
that in order for deeds to be cancelledout by apostasy, the person has
to die as an apostate.
Allah says (interpretationof the meaning):
"And whosoever of you turns back from his religion and dies as a
disbeliever, then his deeds will be lost in this life and in the
Hereafter, and they will be the dwellers of the Fire. Theywill abide
therein forever" [2:217]
So in order for deeds to be lost, it is stipulated that a person
persist in apostasy until he dies in that state. The verse indicates
that if a personrepents then the deeds that he did before apostatizing
are still valid and will be rewarded in sha Allah. End quote.
Al-Muntaqa min Fataawaal-Fawzaan
With regard to slapping the face, this is a deed ofJaahiliyyah
(pre-Islamic age of ignorance) whichthe Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) warned against. It is narrated that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) disavowed himself of the
one who does that, as he said: "Heis not one of us who slaps his
cheeks, rends his garment and calls outwith the cry of the
Jaahiliyyah." [al-Bukhaari].This indicates that slapping the cheeks is
a major sin.
As you regret what you did, we hope that Allah will accept your
repentance. You have to utter the Shahaadatayn (twin declaration of
faith) in order to re-enter Islam after going out of it. You haveto do
good deeds and guard your tongue, for aperson may say a word that
angers Allah but he regards it as insignificant, then he will be
thrown into the Fire and will continue falling down into it for
seventy years.
With regard to expiation, there is no expiation for what you have done
apart from repentance, regret and resolve not to do it again.
We ask Allah to accept your repentance and to enable you to adhere to
His religion.
And Allah knows best. - - ▓███▓ Translator:->
http://translate.google.com/m/ ▓███▓ - -

Sins of the Tongue - Fabricated Stories.

I hope that you can tell me whether this report –which I heard from a
preacher – is sound. He got up at 4.20 a.m. to getready to pray Fajr
(early morning prayer). He went and did wudoo (ablution) and got
dressed, and got ready to go out and go to the mosque. He was
accustomed to doing that since he was a child.He was used to offering
all his prayers in congregation in the mosque, even Fajr prayer. He
left his house and made his way to themosque. Whilst he was on his
way, he stumbled and fell, and tore part of his garment.
He went back home to change his garment and put on another one. He did
not get angry or swear or curse, he just went back home and simply
changed his clothes. Then he set out again for the mosque, and again
he stumbled and fell, and part of this garment got ripped as well. He
went back homeand changed his garment. Both garments had got torn but
that didnot deter him from his keenness to offer the prayer in
congregation in the mosque. He set out again for the mosque, and he
stumbled for the third time, but suddenly he felt that he was not
falling, and there was someone holding him and preventing him from
falling to the ground. The man was surprised and looked around, but he
did not see anyone. He stood confused for a moment, then he carried on
towards the mosque. Then he heard a voice saying: "Do you know who I
am?" The man said: "No." The voice replied: "I am the one who
prevented you fromfalling." The man said: "Who are you?" He replied:
"I am the shaytan." The man askedhim: "If you are the shaytan, why did
you prevent me from falling?" The shaytan answered: "The first time
when you stumbledand went home to change your clothes, Allah forgave
you all your sins. The second time when you stumbledand went home to
change your clothes, Allah forgave your family. The third time when
you stumbled, I was afraid that if you went back home and changed your
clothes, Allah would forgive all the people of your neighbourhood, so
I supported you and prevented you from falling."
What is confusing me about this story is: is it possible for the
shaytan to speak to a person andhold his hand and prevent him from
falling as is described in this story?
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
There is no basis for this story in the books of Sunnah (prophetic
teachings), hadeeth (prophetic narrations) and history. It is
contraryto Islam for several reasons:
1 – The conversation between the man and the shaytan. It is
possiblefor the shaytan to whisper to a person (waswasah) when he is
in his real form, but speaking to him is not possible, unless the
shaytan appears to him in human form.
2 – The shaytan says thathe supported the man when he stumbled. This
is something that is unbelievable, and the shaytan is unable to do
such a thing. Allah has made the angels protectors and guardians of
man, to protect them from the harm of the jinn, because they can see
us but we cannot see them.Allah says (interpretationof the meaning):
"For him (each person), there are angels in succession, before and
behind him. They guard him by the Command of Allah" [13:11]
In this made-up story it clearly states that the shaytan is able to
protect a person against that which may harm him, or that the shaytan
is able to prevent something that has beendecreed by Allah.
3 – The most serious thing in this story is where the shaytan says
that the first time Allah forgave the man all his sins, then the
second time he says that Allah has forgiven his family, and he says
that if he had fallen a third time, Allah would have forgiven the
people of his neighbourhood! All of this is lies against Allah and
claiming to have knowledge of the unseen. Even if a mujahid (warrior)
is wounded in battle against the kuffar (disbelievers) it does
notbring such virtues, so how can it be ascribed to the one who is
going to the mosque? It is not ascribed to one who stumbled when
calling people to Allah or going to uphold ties of kinship or other
acts of worship,so how can these virtuesbe ascribed to one who falls
when he is going to the mosque?
There is nothing about falling or stumbling that brings such virtues.
Many of the Sahaabah (companions) fell, stumbled or were injured at
the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him),
but there is nothing in the Sunnah which ascribes such virtues to them
or even some of those virtues. Allah does not forgive a family or the
people of aneighbourhood or city because of the deeds or acts of
worship of one ofthe righteous, let alone the fact that stumbling does
not bring a person closer to Allah and it is not an act of worship in
itself. If anyone were to benefit from the actions of another, then
the father of Ibrahim (peace be upon him) would have benefited from
the prophethood of his son, and the son of Nuh would have benefited
from the prophethood of his father, and Abu Talib would have benefited
from the prophethood of his nephew Muhammad (peace and blessings of
Allah be upon him).
Moreover, how did the shaytan know of all that so that he could tell
this man about it? Does the shaytan have the power to prevent mercy
reaching one of the slaves of Allah upon whom He wishes to bestow it?
No. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Whatever of mercy (i.e. of good), Allah may grant to mankind, none
can withhold it; and whatever He may withhold, none can grant it
thereafter. And He is the All‑Mighty, the All‑Wise" [35:2]
Secondly:
Undoubtedly these false stories are things that become widespread
among those who do not understand their religion properly and who do
not know the Oneness of their Lord (Tawheed). They are propagated by
liars and storytellers who fabricate lies against thelaws of Allah.
Allah has issued a stern warning against these liars. Allah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Say (O Muhammad): (But) the things that my Lord has indeed forbidden
are Al‑Fawaahish (great evil sins and every kind of unlawful sexual
intercourse) whether committed openly or secretly, sins (of all
kinds), unrighteous oppression, joining partners (in worship) with
Allah for which He has given no authority, and saying things about
Allah of which you have no knowledge" [7:33]
What khateebs (orators) and preachers must do isbe above being mere
storytellers who tell the common folk stories thatgo against sharee'ah
(Islamic teachings). The salaf (pious predecessors) of this ummah
(nation) issued astern warning against these storytellers, because of
the bad effects that their stories have on the common folk and because
they contain things that go against the laws of Allah.
In a hadeeth that was classed as hasan (sound) by Shaykh al-Albani in
al-Silsilah al-Saheehah it was narrated that the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "When the Children of Israel
were doomed they started to tell stories."
Shaykh al-Albani (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It says in al-Nihayah: "when they were doomed they started to tell
stories" which meansthey relied on words and forsook deeds, and that
was the reason for their doom, or vice versa: when they were doomed it
was because they stopped doing good deeds and turned to stories.
Al-Albani said, commenting on this:
It may be said that the reason they were doomed was that they paid too
much attention to stories at the expense of fiqh (jurisprudence) and
beneficial knowledge which teach the people about their religion, and
motivate them to do righteous deeds. Because they did that, they were
doomed.Al-Silsilah al-Saheehah.
This is the case with the storytellers; they pay toomuch attention to
stories and myths, whichthey narrate to the common folk, without any
understanding or knowledge, and the common man hears a lotbut does not
understandany ruling or gain any knowledge.
Ibn al-Jawzi said in Talbees Iblees:
The storytellers are not condemned just for being storytellers,
because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"We relate unto you (Muhammad) the best of stories" [12:3]
"So relate the stories" [7:176]
Rather the storytellers are condemned because they tell many stories
without mentioning any beneficial knowledge, and usually they mix
sound and unsound material in what they narrate and rely on things
that are mostly impossible. End quote.
It was narrated that Abu Qilabah 'Abd-Allah ibn Zayd said: Nothing
kills knowledge but stories. Aman may sit with another man for a year
and not learn anything from him, and he may sitwith a knowledgeable
man and not get up untilhe has learned something. Hilyat al-Awliya.
How often do these storytellers narrate from bad reports to the
masses, and tell them these fables, which reach such a status among
the masses that they believe everything that they hear and even give
them precedence over the scholars and seekers of knowledge.
Al-Hafiz al-'Iraqi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
One of the problems with them is that they speak to so many peopleand
tell them things thatthey are unable to comprehend, and that leads
them to confusion and makes them developmisconceptions. This applies
if what they tell them is sound, so how about if it is false?
Tahdheer al-Khawaas by al-Suyooti,quoting from al-Baa'ith 'ala
al-Khalaas by al-'Iraaqi.
Ibn al-Jawzi said:
The storyteller narrates weird reports to the masses, and tells them
that even if he had even the slightest whiff of knowledge he would not
have told them. So the masses leave with a lot of false notions in
their minds, which they discuss amongst themselves. If a scholar
denounces them, they say: we heard this, he narrated it to us. How
many storytellers have misled others by means of the fabricated
reportsthey narrate to them; how many people have turned yellow with
hunger (because of what they heard encouraging asceticism); how many
people left their families, homes and cities to wander likemonks; how
many have refrained from doing that which is permitted; how many have
refrained from learning and teaching knowledge, believing that he is
going against his own whims and desires; how many have made their
children orphans because of theirasceticism whilst still alive; how
many have turned away from their wives and not given them their
rights, so thatshe is neither single nor truly married. End
quote.Al-Mawdoo'aa
This is why the storytellers are criticized by many of the salaf.
Maymoon ibn Mahran (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The storyteller may expect punishment from Allah, and the one who
listens to him may expect mercy.
Al-Albani (may Allah havemercy on him) said, following hadeeth no.
4070 in al-Silsilah al-Da'eefah:
This was narrated by Ibnal-Mubarak in his book al-Zuhd with a saheeh
isnaad (authentic chain).
Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The greatest liars amongthe people are the storytellers. The people
need truthful storytellerswho will remind them ofdeath and the
punishment of the grave. It was said to him:Didn't you attend their
gatherings? He said: No. Al-Adaab al-Shar'iyyah by Ibn Muflih
al-Hanbali.
We ask Allah to set straight the affairs of theimams (leaders) and
khateebs (orators), and to guide them to that which is best for them
and others.
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Sins of the Tongue - Husband Forcing Wife to Divulge Private Conversations.

My husband forces me totell him the whole dialogue I had with my
mother or brothers or anyone else. He justifies this by saying that my
mother may say something that can spoilour relationship. It causes
problems between us if I refuse to tell him. Shall I respond to his
request?
Praise be to Allah.
1-
What this husband should do – if what his wife is saying about him is
true – is fear his Lord with regard to this demand that he is making
of his wife, and he should realize that heis sinning by doing this,
and that it is not permissible for his wife to obey him in this
matter.
2-
We advise this husband to focus on himself rather than other people,
and to look at his own faults and correct them, and to look at his own
shortcomings and strive to perfect his own self that is inclined
towards evil. That is better for him and is more appropriate than
focusing on other people and what they say and do. Ibn al-Qayyim (may
Allah have mercy on him) said:The greatest loser is the one who is
distracted from Allah by himself, and even worse off is the one who is
distracted from himself by other people. [Al-Fawaa'id].
3-
He should not think badly of people and believe that he is perfect,
because not everything that people say concerns him or has to do with
him, rather it is his desire to hear people's stories and find out
about their situations, and to rejoiceat their shortcomings.
4-
It is to be hoped that thishusband does not approve of his wife
telling him what her family and other people say to her, even if they
are talking about him, because by doing that she would be a
gossipmonger and one of the salaf (righteous predecessors) said: A
gossipmonger and a liar could cause more damage in an hour than a
practitioner of witchcraft could do in a year. So how about if he is
the one who tells her to do that, and even orders her to do so, and
threatens to punish her if she does not do it?
Al-Nawawi said, quoting from Abu Hamid al-Ghazali (may Allah have
mercy on them both):
The one to whom gossip comes, saying so and so said this about you, or
did that to you, should do six things:
1- He should not believe it, because the one who gossips is an evildoer.
2- He should tell him not to do that, and advise him, and condemn his action.
3- He should hate him for the sake of Allah, for he is hateful
before Allah, may He be exalted,and he should hate the one whom Allah
hates.
4- He should not think ill of his absent brother.
5- He should not let what he is told lead him to spy on others or
try tofind out about it.
6- He should not approve for himself what he told the gossipmonger
not to do,so he should not transmit the gossip and say "So and so said
such and such", in which case he would also be a gossipmonger and
would be doing that which he told someone else not to do. End quote.
[Al-Adhkaar]
5-
What this husband wants from his wife is nameemah (gossip) which is a
major sin. Undoubtedly passing on such gossip will lead to evil
consequences, severing of ties, resentment and enmity, and undoubtedly
the wife's family would hatefor their words to be passed on. He should
understand that gossip is not merely passing on what people say for
the purpose of causing trouble, rather it may be for the purpose of
enjoyment.
Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah havemercy on him) said:
What should be avoided and shunned totally is gossip which means
transmitting words fromone person to another, or from one group to
another, or from one tribe to another, with the aim of causing trouble
and creating problems between them.It means disclosing that which
should not be disclosed, whether it is disliked by the one from whom
it is transmitted or the one to whom it is transmitted or a third
party, and whether it is disclosed verbally, in writing, in symbols or
bygestures, and whether what is transmitted is words or actions, and
whether it refers to a fault or shortcoming in the person from whom
itis transmitted or not. A person should keep quiet about whatever
hesees of people's situations, unless speaking of it will bring some
benefit to a Muslimor ward off some harm.
The motive in spreading gossip is either ill will towards the person
of whom one speaks or to show love to the person to whom one speaks,
or to indulge in unnecessary talk and falsehood. All of that is
haraam.
There is a great deal of evidence in the Quran and Sunnah (prophetic
traditions) to show that gossip is haram (impermissible), such as the
verses in which Allahsays (interpretation of the meaning):
"And (O Muhammad) obey you not everyone Hallaaf Maheen (the one who
swears much and is a liar or is worthless).
A slanderer, going aboutwith calumnies" [68:10,11]
"Woe to every slanderer and backbiter" [104:1]
It was narrated that Hudhayfah (may Allah bepleased with him) said:
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
said: "No gossipmonger will enter Paradise" [Agreed upon]. And it was
narrated from Ibn Mas'ood (may Allah be pleased with him) that the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Shall I not
tell you what is falsehood? It is nameemah (gossip), transmitting what
people say." [Muslim].
Gossip is one of the things that incur the punishment in the grave,
because of the report narrated by Ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased
with him), according to which the Messenger of Allah (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) passed by two graves and said: "They
are being punished, but they are not being punished for anything that
was difficult to avoid." Then he said, "No. One of them used not to
protect himself from his urine, and the other used to walk around
spreading malicious gossip." [Agreed upon].
Rather backbiting and gossip are forbidden because they involve
attempts to cause trouble among people and create splits and chaos,
and fan the flames of enmity, rancour, destructive envy and hypocrisy,
and to take away love and friendship, by causing rifts and disputes
and resentment among brethren. It also involveslying, deceit, betrayal
and trickery, and making accusations against those who are innocent,
and giving in to slander and reviling and mentioning bad deeds and
qualities, and because they are a sign of cowardice, meanness and
weakness; moreoverthose who indulge in them commit sins which incur
the wrath of Allah and a painful punishment. Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn
Baaz.
It was said that al-'adhu (translated above a falsehood) means
witchcraft in the language of Quraysh, and it was said that it means
lies and fabrications.
Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeez ibn Jibreen (may Allah preserve him) was asked:
My husband tells his family what I say, then he tells me what they
say, and that leads to many problems. I have often asked him not to do
that but he does not pay any heed. What should I do?
He replied:
This is called nameemah (malicious gossip), which means transmitting
what people say by way of stirring up trouble. As for the warning,
Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): " A slanderer, going about
with calumnies" [68:10,11]. This is a description of some of the
people of Hell. And Allah says (interpretationof the meaning): "Woe to
every slanderer and backbiter" [104:1]. This refers to the
gossipmonger. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
said: "No gossipmonger will enter Paradise." And accordingto a report:
A gossipmonger could cause more damage in an hour than a practitioner
of witchcraft could do in a year. And the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him) stated that "The gossipmonger will be punished
in his grave." Undoubtedly the prohibition is more emphatic if the
gossip is among a man and his wife and relatives. He has to fear Allah
and remember that He is always watching him, and he should keep away
from things that will incur punishment in this world or the next. He
has to avoid lying, backbiting, gossip, slander and stirring up
trouble among people. He should be honest, protect people's
honour,fear Allah and rememberthat He is always watching, and that He
is stern in punishment. Endquote. Al-Hulool al-Shar'iyyah
li'l-Khilaafaat wa'l-Mushkilaat al-Zawjiyyah wa'l-Usariyyah by Shaykh
'Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreem.
So the husband must stop asking his wife to do this, and if he
persiststhen it is not permissiblefor his wife to respond to his
request. By agreeing to transmit what people say, one is persisting in
sin and listening to it, but by refusing one is refraining from it and
putting a stop to it.
If the wife is afraid that it will lead to troubles between her and
her husband, there is no sin on her, if her husband insists that she
should tell him what her family says, if she tells him that they
praised him and said good things about him, and other such words that
will spread love and friendly feelings, and will extinguish the flames
of fitnah (tribulation) and disputes between her husband and her
family.
We ask Allah to guide your husband and bring you together in a good manner.
And Allah knows best.

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