Smile to Make Your Children Happy

Lines from the diary of a child speaking about his happy childhood,
"My father was always cheerful and his smile never left his face, even
in the most difficult situations. This smile meant a great deal to us
as it revealed how much our father loves us. This smile used to force
us to behave properly and avoid mistakes so as not to anger our father
and miss his smile even fora second.
My father's smile was the source of our psychological balance. It
provided us with warmth, confidence, frankness and courage in the face
of hardships. May Allaah reward him with the best."
Protagonists of the frowning approach:
Some parents and educators adopt the frowning method in dealing with
their children. Hence, they avoid speaking with them cordially or
smiling at them. They believe that there should be strict limits
between parents and their children so thatthey can succeed in their
upbringing.
They think that smiling and cheerfulness with children will spoil
them, while frowning and sullenness represent the discipline and
resolve that are necessary for any successful upbringing.
Unfortunately, we are sorry to tell such people that this is the
approach of the weak, who have not mastered the art ofentering into
the hearts, even thehearts of the closest people to them: their
children!
People with great souls are the only ones who can always be cheerful
with their children, while they control the process of upbringing in
such a way that ensures their children are close enough to learn from
them and obey their orders within a warm family environment.
The wise educator can direct his child through his smile and look,
embrace him compassionately, and treat his mistakes with patience.
This little smile may be of great importance and influence on the
child, especially that he receives itfrom his source of protection
androle model.
Cheerfulness is from the guidanceof the Prophet :
The guidance of the Prophet regarding cheerfulness, is amazing. He was
always cheerful and used to smile at his Companions. Jareer bin
'Abdullaah Al-Bajali said, "Whenever the Prophet saw me after I had
embraced Islam, he would receive me with a smile." [Al-Bukhaari]
This was not confined to Jareer as 'Abdullaah bin Al-Haarith said, "I
have never seen anyone who smiles more than the Prophet ."
[Al-Albaani: Saheeh]
Umm Ad-Dardaa' said, "Abu Ad-Dardaa' used to smile whenever he spoke.
So I told him to stop doing this for fear that people may think that
he was simple minded. However, Abu Ad-Dardaa' said, 'I have never seen
or heard the Prophet speaking without smiling.'" Hence, he used to
smile whenever he spoke in imitation of the Prophet .
The Prophet was very, caring, thoughtful and compassionate towards
children. It was never reported that he frowned at any child
throughout his life; rather, whenever he met them, he would smile at
them even if he was accompanied by his honorable Companions.
In a Hadeeth (narration) on the authority of Jaabir he said,"We were
with the Prophet when we were invited to have food. On our way, we saw
Al-Husayn playing with the boys in the street. The Prophet hurried and
opened his arms. Al-Husayn started running here and there while the
Prophet was laughing with him. The Prophet took him and put one of his
hands on his chin and the other between his head and ears, then, he
embraced and kissed him and said: 'Husayn belongs to me and I belong
to him, may Allaah The Almighty love whoever loves him. Al-Hasan and
Al-Husayn are two of the noblest of men.'" [At-Tabaraani] [Al-Albaani:
Hasan]
The Prophet also taught us that a smile may sustain others, especially
those who are under our care. The Prophet said: "You cannot please all
people with your money, but you could do this through your
cheerfulness and good morals." [Muslim]
Is there any of us who does not need to please his children through
his cheerfulness and good morals? Is there anyone who does not need to
do so today, when he sees that the educator's mission has become one
of the most difficult on earth? The protection of children against
immorality and other social problems have become issues that require a
great deal ofsupplication and great balance in the personality of the
educator, to be able to sustain his children and establish a
successful relationship with them. This relationship serves as gravity
thatalways attracts them to their good origins and strengthens them in
the face of the wild storms of immorality that blow from all
directions.
This is the default principle in dealing with one's children:
Smiling at our children is the default principle as we learned from
the Prophet while frowning should be an educational punishment that
should be used wisely and only when necessary. Certainly, cheerfulness
strengthens the relationship between the educator and the child, while
frowning causes the child to dislike his parent and weakens their
mutual love.
'Umar bin Al-Khattaab said, "One should be like a young boy among his
family, but when he is needed as a man, he should be so." The meaning
is that cheerfulness and good morals as well as joking with one's
family and children is the best way to lead them, provided that this
does not affect the parent's respect.
You may even use what is called (the angry smile) when you punish or
blame your child as a form of silent-yet-effective punishment. The
Prophet taught us how to use the smile even when we are angry. Ka'b
binMaalik narrated his story when he did not participate in the Battle
of Tabook without a valid excuse. He said, "When news reached me that
the Messenger of Allaah was on his way back from Tabook, I was greatly
distressed… I greeted him, he smiled, and there was a tinge of anger
in that. He then said to me: 'Come forward' . I went forward and I sat
in front of him. He said to me: `What kept you back?'" [Al-Bukhaari
andMuslim] Therefore, smile, dear educator!
Cheerfulness and smiling is important to have a calm child:
A sense of humor helps children get rid of the feelings of anger and
embarrassment. It also spreads happiness in the house and warmth in
the heart in addition to providing children with a feeling of safety
that they would miss if their educator was one of those who adhere to
the frowning method.
Good growth:
German psychiatrists' studies proved that laughter from the bottom of
the heart has a deep influence on the child's growth during his early
years. Based on the results of these studies, psychiatrists confirmed
that laughter is as important as food and that the child who laughs
much grows well.
Educational excellence:
Psychiatrists always stress the positive influence of a smile on the
educational process. They saythat fun creates a psychological
environment full of happiness and satisfaction, and this releasesthe
mental abilities to learn easily. That is because joyfulness prepares
the mental abilities to expand and grow contrary to the environment of
sadness and pessimism that gives a despondent impression about life.
Smiling attaches the child to his parents:
If your smile springs from your heart and expresses true love for and
admiration of your child, then it will have a good psychological
impact on the childand provide him with happy memories and strong love
for his parents, particularly if they use eye contact to convey their
true love and appreciation to him.
Dear readers and educators, this shows us that the more a parent is
cheerful, the stronger his relationship with his children willbe, and
vice versa. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Andif you had been
rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from
about you.} [Quran 3:159]
Do not forget to smile at your child when he enters upon you… when you
leave the house…when he leaves the house…when you receive him upon
returning from school…when you enter upon him returning from work…do
notforget to smile when you wake him up and let him see your smile
before anything else.
When you put him to bed, do notforget to smile at him to have thebest
dreams ever. Smile when you ask him about his faults so he can feel
safe and tell you the truth. Finally, smile to immunize your children
against feelings of fear and sadness and to turn yourrelationship with
them into an uninterrupted and wonderful series of successful
communication. In such a case, they will respond to your directions
and long to meet you. They will never think of doing anything that
angers you, because they do not want to loseyour sweet smile for any
reason. - - ▓███▓ Translator:-> http://translate.google.com/m/
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Dawah in history

From an Islamic perspective, there is absolutely no compulsionon
people to embrace it. People have always entered Islam willingly. The
historical presence of non-Muslim minorities living among Muslims is
evidence of tolerance in Islaam.
Islam spread in the most populated Muslim countries: Indonesia,
Malaysia, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and within Africa through contact
between the natives and Muslim travellers and merchants, who brought
with them not only goods, but also Islamic values such as straight
dealing, honesty and generosity.
The impact of Muslims upon these communities was tremendous. In
Singapore, near the port where the Arab traders used to land, the
residents say that the natives used to prefer to buy from Muslim
merchants because they expected good treatment and fair prices.
As was the case in most of the areas to which Islam spread, peaceful
and voluntary reversion was far more important than conquest and force
in spreading the faith in Southeast Asia. Almost everywhere in the
islands of the region, trading contacts paved the way for reversion.
Muslim merchants and sailors introduced local peoples to the ideas and
rituals of the new faith and impressed on them how much of the known
world had already been reverted. The first areas to be won to Islam in
the last decades of the 13th century were several small port centres
on the northern coast of Sumatra. From these ports, the religion
spread in the following centuries across the Strait of Malacca to
Malaya.
It is unfair to compare the spreadof Islaam in Asia and Africa with
the spread of Islaam in the West, and blame Muslims for not
effectively promoting their religion in the West. Unlike the modern
western world, the Asians' and Africans' history was free from
hostility and enmity against Muslims, and therefore, their reversion
to Islam was natural and easy.
Could Da'wah Fail?
Allaah will guide, through Da'wah(Islamic propagation), those whoare
worthy and qualified for His Mercy; those who have good hearts and are
sincerely searching for the truth. He will turn away from it those who
do not deserve His mercy; those whochose to divert from His way.
Thisis decreed according to His perfect Wisdom and Knowledge.
The success of Da'wah is guaranteed as a fulfilment of Allaah's
promises; He Says (what means): "… And who is more truthful than
Allaah…" [Quran: 4:87]
1. Allaah promised to make the way for Da'wah easy for Prophet
Muhammad salallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam and his followers alike; He Says
(what means): "And We will ease you toward ease." [Quran: 87:8]
2. Allaah also promised to preserve the Quran, His last guidance to
mankind. It is foreverprotected from any sort of distortion, change,
or modification; He Says (what means): "Indeed, it is We who sent down
the message [i.e., the Quran], and indeed, We will be itsguardian."
[Quran: 15:9]
3. Allaah promised to make Da'wah prevail and reach every place on
earth, so that all mankind will be aware that Islaam is the truth from
their Lord; He Says (what means): "We will show them Our signs in the
horizons and within themselves until it becomes clear to them that it
is the truth..." [Quran: 41:53]
4.Prophet Muhammad assured us that Islam is the religion of the future
and will spread all over the world when he said: "Indeed, Islam will
reach every place that the day and night reach. There is no house (in
city or desert) on the Earth except that Islam will enter it." [Ahmad]
Due to all of these reasons, Da'wah can never fail; that is whyProphet
Muhammad expectedhis followers to outnumber the followers of other
prophets; He said: "All of the prophets before me were given
(tangible) miracles, due to which, people believed in them. But the
miracle that has been given to me is indeed a revelation that Allaah
revealed to me [i.e., Quran and Sunnah]. So I hope, on the Day
ofJudgement, my followers will outnumber the followers of other
prophets." [Al-Bukhaari]
In order for Da'wah to be effective, the caller must have sincere
intention and, above all, astrong sense of piety. In order toshare
Islam with people, we must develop strong relationships within our
Ummah (Muslim community) to support these efforts with Da'wah
centresand well-written material. Each of us has a gift from Allaah
and we should not ignore our obligation in fear of rejection or
failure, but join together to contribute our talents and resources to
share the gift of Islaam.

Dought & Clear, - If he dies and leaves behind a father, mother,Christian wife, and brothers and sisters bothfull- and half-siblings, who among them inherits from him?.

I am in the process of writting my last will and Ifound it challenging
due to a little complicated situation, I am explaining here within: I
am married to aChristian woman (she is not muslim but she is a
believer) our marriage was celebrated in the mosque. I have three
fullsisters all married, two half-sisters from my father side and 3
half-brother from my father side and my parents: father and mother. My
parents are divorced since 10 yeras ago, my father doesnt support my
Mom who lives alone in a home I bought for her, I take care of her
living and expense when she needs. I have no regular contact or news
from myhalf-brothers and half-sisters. I kept contact with my father
who remarried several times since. I would like to know what is the
prescribed portions of IRTH (inheritance) that apply for my heirs
should they inherit me after my departure.
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
Your saying that your Christian wife is not a Muslim but she is a
believer is a contradiction in terms and is not correct, because the
one who is a believer is a Muslim. Perhaps you mean that she believes
in the existence of God or that she believes in her religion. This and
similarmatters cannot be described as faith or Islam unless she
believes in the Messenger of AllahMuhammad (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) and she believes in all the Messengers of Allah.
The Christians are disbelievers and cannot be described as Muslims,
let alone believers. Allah,may He be exalted, says (interpretation of
the meaning):
"Surely, disbelievers are those who said: 'Allah is the third of the
three (in a Trinity)'"
[al-Maa'idah 5:73]
"And (remember) when Allah will say (on the Dayof Resurrection): 'O
'Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary)! Did you say unto men: Worship me
and my mother as two gods besides Allah?' He will say: 'Glory be to
You! It was not for me to say what I had no right (to say)'"
[al-Maa'idah 5:116].
In Saheeh Muslim (153) itis narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be
pleased with him) from the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) that he said: "By the One in Whose hand is the soul
of Muhammad, no one among this nation, Jew or Christian, hears of me
then dies not believing in that with which I was sent, but he will be
one of the people of the Fire."
Shaykh al-Islam (Ibn Taymiyah – may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The Jews and Christians are disbelievers in a sense that is clear, and
that is well established and well known in the religion of Islam.
End quote from Majmoo'al-Fataawa, 35/201
Secondly:
Inheritance refers to the living taking charge of the wealth of the
deceased because of tiesof blood or marriage.
The inheritance is not determined until after the death of the one
from whom the wealth is inherited, after which we may see who among
his heirs is entitled to take over his wealth thathe left behind,
according to the shares allocated by Allah.
We cannot at present specify who will inherit from you after you die,
because we do not know who will die first; perhaps you will inherit
from them or perhaps others will inherit from you.
But if we assume that you have left all of these people behind, then
your inheritance goes toyour father and your mother; and your wife and
brothers and sisters,whether they are full- orhalf-siblings, do not
get anything.
With regard to your wife, she does not inherit from you because she is
a non-Muslim; a non-Muslim cannot inherit from a Muslim and a Muslim
cannot inherit from a non-Muslim.
See the answer to question no. 26171
With regard to your brothers and sisters, none of them inherits
because the father is present.
Allah, may He be exalted,says (interpretation of the meaning):
"if no children, and the parents are the (only) heirs, the mother has
a third; if the deceased leftbrothers or (sisters), the mother has a
sixth. (The distribution in all cases is) after the payment of
legacies he may have bequeathed or debts"
[an-Nisa' 4:11].
Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The third scenario with regard to parents is if parents are present
along with siblings, whether they are from both parents or from
thefather or from the mother. They do not inherit anything if the
father is present, but despite that they changethe share of the mother
from one third to one sixth. So if there are siblings, her share is
changed to one sixth. If there is no heir apart from her and the
father, the father gets the remainder (of the estate).
End quote from Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 2/199
Abu'l-Qaasim al-Khuraqi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The
brother and sister, whether they are full siblings or through the
father only, do not inherit if there is a son or if there is a son's
son (grandson), no matter how far the line of descent extends, or if
there is a father.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The scholars are
unanimously agreed on this, praise be to Allah. That was mentioned by
Ibn al-Mundhir and others.
End quote from al-Mughni, 6/163
Based on that, the mother inherits one sixth and all the rest goes to
the father; none of the siblings or the wife inherits anything.
The siblings in this case block others and are blocked. They block the
mother in the sense that they reduce her share from one third to one
sixth, and they are blocked by the presence of the father, because
heis closer to the deceased than them. The Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Give the shares of inheritance to
those who are entitled to them, and whatever is left goes to the
closest male relative."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari,6732; Muslim, 1615
But you should understand that you have the right to bequeath part of
your wealth to those who willnot inherit from you, up to a limit of
one third of what you leave behind. So if your wife will not inherit
from you because she is Christian, and your siblings will not inherit
from you, because they are blocked, then if you wish you may bequeath
some of your wealth to whomever you want of these people, either to
all of them or some of them, so long as what you bequeath is not more
than one third of the entire estate that you leave behind. And if you
do not make a bequest, there is no sin on you; if you make a bequest
to some of themand not others, there is no sin on you either.
You have to honour yourfather and mother and treat them kindly, and
uphold ties with all of your siblings, males and females, full
siblings and otherwise, because that is what Allah has enjoined upon
you.
And Allah knows best. - - ▓███▓ Translator:->
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Dought & Clear, - Can she masturbate if her husband cannot satisfy her desire?.

Thank u for ur answer, but unfortunately it did not answer my
question.The thing is, that we have tried every possibleway there is
to satisfy me, we have talked alot about it, we read a whole lot about
it, but still havent been successful. Now my husband has said that
hewants me to masturbate after we have had intercourse, so that i
alsoget satisfied, because he is not able to do so in any which way.
But my question to u is: Am I allowed to masturbate after we have had
intercourse if my husband cannot satisfy me with any method at all? I
have my husbands permission. The only thing I need to know, is that if
it is allowed in Islam to do soif the husband is not able to satisfy
his wife atall?
I hope you will be able to help me, as this has started to effect our
marriage life.
Hello
I have been married for 3 years now and love myhusband very much. our
problem is that my husband cannot satisfy me sexually at all, not with
hand or anything else. We have tried all methods but it just doesnt
work. This has become a big issue in our marriage, and makes me wants
to masturbate as i dont get satisfied at all. My question to you is:
is it allowed for me to masturbate in order to satisfy myself to stay
happy in my marriage if nothing else is working?
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
The basic principle is that masturbation is haraam. Please see the
answer to question no. 329
That is only permitted if a person fears that he may end up committing
zina; no doubt the prohibition on zina is more emphatic, and it is
more abhorrent and reprehensible. Hence it is permissible to commit
the lesser of two evils so as to ward off the greater.
Ar-Ruhaybaani (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If a person, man or
woman, masturbates with no need to do so, that action is haraam and he
should be given a disciplinary punishment for it, because it is a sin.
But if he does it because he fears falling into zina or homosexuality,
or because he fears physical harm, then there is no punishment.
End quote from MataalibOoli an-Nuha Sharh Ghaayat al-Muntaha, 6/226
Al-Mirdaawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
We learn two things from this:
1. That masturbation isnot permissible except incases of necessity
2. The ruling for women on that matter isthe same as the ruling
for men, if a woman fears falling into zina.
This is the correct view, as stated in al-Furoo'.
End quote from al-Insaaf, 10/252
Secondly:
What the husband must do is give his wife her rights to kind
treatment.One of the most important matters to which he must pay
attention in that regard is keeping her chaste so that she will not
look at other men, and giving her her rights in matters of intimacy as
much as possible, even if that means using aphrodisiacs and paying
attention to nutrition.
If the husband reaches climax quickly, before his wife is satisfied,
thenhe has to try hard to stimulate her first, even if that is with
his hand or body, and not start to have intercourse until she is ready
for that, andthen she can reach climax through intercourse.
If the question is about masturbation with the hand, what difference
is there between the husband's hand or her own hand? Why can't hedo
that for her, and why should she do that herself?
What we think is that the husband should do that, and it is better if
it is before he has intercourse with her, then if she needs anything
else, he can stimulate her again afterhaving intercourse, so that her
needs will be met.
There is nothing wrong with him consulting a specialist doctor, if he
is suffering from any kind of problem.
And Allah knows best. - - ▓███▓ Translator:->
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