Living in Kindness - I

Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {O mankind, fear your Lord, Who
created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed
from both of themmany men and women. And fear Allaah, through whom you
ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allaah is ever, over you,
anObserver.} [Quran 4:1]
Islam encourages marriage and clarifies the wisdom behind it and its
rulings, benefits, and virtues. In this article, we will mention some
tips for men and women who are about to get married. These tips will
serve as reminders for those who already know them and enlightenment
for the ones who are ignorant of them.
The wife's rights over her husband:
Let us take a look at a bright image from the house of the Prophet :
Al-Aswad said, "I asked 'Aa'ishah 'What did the Prophet do at home?'
She said, 'He used to serve his family and when it was time for the
prayer, he would go out for prayer.'" [Al-Bukhaari]
• Happiness lies in the right choice:
Allaah The Almighty has made marriage one of the causes of happiness
in this life and has created in humans an instinct for marriage.
Marriage can be source of tranquility and happiness if harmony
prevails between the two spouses. Allaah The Almightyhas bestowed on
people the blessing of marriage. The Almighty Says (what means):
{Andof His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that
you may find tranquility in them; and He laced between you affection
and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.}
[Quran 30:21]
It was narrated on the authority of 'Abdullaah ibn 'Amr that the
Prophet said: "The worldly life is enjoyment and the best enjoyment of
life is a righteous wife."
• Marriage is the crown of virtue:
Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd said,
"Marriage is a legitimate relationship that is established bya
contract between a man and a woman with certain conditions and pillars
approved by the Sharee'ah (Islamic legislation). Because of its
importance, most jurists and scholars of Hadeeth (Prophetic narration)
gave it priority over Jihaad (struggle), since Jihaad can only
performed by men and marriage is the only way to beget children who
will grow up into men. Marriage has great value that is indispensable
for the stability and uprightness of life, thanks to its great
benefits and noble purposes…"
Allaah The Almighty highlights the greatness of marriage and refers to
it as 'the solemn covenant'. This means the covenant that is based on
the principle of keeping [one's wife and treating her] in a
[commonly]acceptable manner or releasing [her] with good treatment.
AllaahThe Almighty Says (what means): {But if you want to replace one
wife with another and you have given one of them a great amount [in
gifts], do not take [back] from it anything. Would you take it in
injustice and manifest sin? And how could you take it while you have
gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn
covenant?} [Quran 4:20, 21]
Muslim men should know that a wife is a trust for whom they willbe
held accountable on the Day ofJudgment. The Prophet said: "Be advised
to act kindly towardswomen." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
• Exchanging presents:
Exchanging presents especially between spouses is á means of
implanting love between them. The Prophet said: "Exchange presents so
that you would love one another." [Al-Albaani]
Wife's rights over her husband:
A quote from the book 'Fifty Counsels of the Prophet to Women' :
"Marriage is a partnership between a man and a woman for the sake of
bringingup a righteous generation who worship Allaah The Almighty and
develop and populate the earth. The bases of marriage in Islam are
love, affection and putting the other partner first. For a marriage to
last, Allaah The Almighty stipulated rights for thehusband and wife
that should be fulfilled."
First: Good treatment and living in kindness
The wife is a trust that is kept in the husband's house, so he should
treat her well and speak to her kindly. Allaah The AlmightySays (what
means): {...And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them --
perhaps you dislike a thing and Allaah makes therein much good.}
[Quran 4:19] The Prophet said: "A believingman is not to hate a
believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be
pleasedwith another." [Muslim]
Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said: "Be advised to act kindly
to woman, for woman was created from a rib, and the most crooked part
of therib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it, you will break
it, and if you leave it, its crookedness will remain there. Sobe
advised (to be kind) regarding women." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
The Prophet said: "The best ofyou are the best of you to their wives
and I am the best of you tomy wives." [Al-Albaani]
Second: Protecting the wife, respecting her and feeling jealousfor her:
Protective jealousy for one's wife is instinctual. Sa'd ibn 'Ubaadah
said, "If I saw a man with mywife, I would strike him (behead him)
with the blade of my sword." The Prophet said: "You, people, are
astonished at Sa'd's jealousy. By Allaah, I am more jealous [for my
wives] than he is and Allaah is more Jealous [for His slaves] than I
am. It is because of this jealousy that Allaah has made both apparent
and concealed immorality unlawful." [Al-Bukhaari]
In his book 'Rawdhat Al-Muhibbeen', Imam ibn Al-Qayyim mentioned some
kinds of jealousy that are good and others that are dispraised.
Hesaid,
"There are different types of jealousy which can be explained as
religious zeal in the first and second case and as manly zeal in the
third case:
1. Jealousy of the slave when one of the prohibitions of Allaah The
Almighty are violated
2. Jealousy of the slave that his heart would rely on anyone otherthan
Allaah The Almighty or enjoycompany of someone more than he enjoys the
company of Allaah The Exalted.
3. Jealousy regarding one's womenfolk.
The abovementioned types are jealousy that Allaah The Almighty and His
Prophet like. Any other type of jealousy is one of the plots of a
devil or a trial from Allaah The Almighty, such as the wife's jealousy
when her husband gets remarried."

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Sacrifices, - His sacrificial animal fell and he slaughtered it before it died; does it still count as a sacrifice?.

The sacrificial animal fellfrom the roof of our house and we
slaughtered it before it died; is that permissible?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
It appears from your question that you slaughtered the sacrificial
animal before the Eid prayer. If that is the case, then it is not a
sacrifice (udhiyah), because the condition ofthe sacrifice is that it
should be slaughtered on the days of sacrifice, which are the day of
Eid and the three following days.
It was narrated that Jundub ibn Sufyaan (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: I was present on Eid al-Adha with the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When he hadfinished
leading the people in prayer, he looked at a sheep that had been
slaughtered and said, 'Whoever slaughtered (his sacrifice) before the
prayer, let him slaughtera sheep in place of it, and whoever has not
yetslaughtered (his sacrifice), let him do so in the name of Allaah."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari,942; Muslim, 1960.
Based on this, if this sacrifice was in fulfilment of a vow, thenyou
have to offer another sacrifice in its stead.
But if you slaughtered it at the time of sacrifice, and you bought it
with the intention of sacrificing it, then it is valid and is a
sacrifice (udhiyah), even if it was damaged as the result ofits fall
from the roof. Seealso question no. ( 39191 ).
Secondly:
With regard to the validity of your slaughtering it, it is validif you
managed to do it before it died.
Allaah has forbidden that which has been killed by strangling, and
that which has been killed by a violent blow –which is an animal that
dies from a blow with a piece of wood or metal –and that which has
beenkilled by a headlong fall – like your sacrifice – and that which
has beenpartially eaten by wild animals. This applies if the animal
dies, but if people catch up with it before it dies and slaughter it
in the manner prescribed in sharee'ah, then it becomes halaal.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Forbidden to you (for food) are: Al‑Maitah (thedead animals — cattle
—beast not slaughtered), blood, the flesh of swine, and that on which
Allaah's Name has not been mentioned while slaughtering (that which
has been slaughtered as a sacrifice for others than Allaah, or has
been slaughtered for idols) and that which has beenkilled by
strangling, or by a violent blow, or by a headlong fall, or by
thegoring of horns — and that which has been (partly) eaten by a wild
animal — unless you are able to slaughter it (before its death)"
[al-Maa'idah 5:3]
Ibn Katheer said:
The phrase "unless you are able to slaughter it" refers to that which
you are able to reach and slaughter in the proper manner when there is
still evidently life in it. That refers to the phrase, "that which has
been killed by strangling, or by a violent blow, or by a headlong
fall, or by the goring of horns — and that which has been (partly)
eaten by a wild animal".
Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 2/11, 12
It was narrated from Ka'b ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him)
that they had sheepthat used to graze at Sal'(a mountain in Madeenah):
a girl of ourssaw a sheep that was dying, so she broke a stone and
slaughtered it with it. He said to them: "Do not eat it until I ask
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)." He asked the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about that and he
told him to eat it.Narrated by al-Bukhaari,2181.
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Sacrifices, - What should the one who wants to offer a sacrifice refrain from doing?.

With regard to a Muslim who is not performing Hajj, what should he do
during the first ten days of Dhu'l-Hijjah? Is cuttingthe nails and
hair not permissible? Is putting on henna or wearing new clothes not
permitted until after the sacrifice has been slaughtered?.
Praise be to Allaah.
If the onset of Dhu'l-Hijjah has been proven and a person wants to
offer a sacrifice, it is haraam for him to remove anything from the
hair on his body or to cut his nails or any part of his skin. It is
not forbidden for him to wear new clothes or to put on henna or
perfume, or to be intimate with his wife orhave intercourse with her.
This ruling applies only to the one who is going to offer the
sacrifice, and not to the rest of hisfamily, and not to the one whom
he appoints to slaughter the sacrificeon his behalf. None of these
things are forbidden for his wife orchildren, or for his deputy.
No differentiation is made between men and women with regard to this
ruling. If a woman wants to offer a sacrificeon her own behalf,
whether she is married or not, then she should refrain from removing
any hair from her body or cutting her nails, because of the general
meaning of the texts which state that that is not allowed.
This is not called ihraam,because there is no ihraam except during the
rituals of Hajj and 'Umrah, and the one who is in ihraam wears the
ihraam garments and refrains from wearing perfume, having intercourse,
and hunting, but all of these things are permissible for the one who
wants to offer a sacrifice after the month of Dhu'l-Hijjah begins. He
is not forbidden to do anything except cut his hair, trim his nails or
remove anything from his skin.
It was narrated from Umm Salamah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When
you see the new moon of Dhu'l-Hijjah, and one of you wants to offer a
sacrifice, let him refrain from (removing anything) from his hair or
nails." Narrated by Muslim, 1977. According to another version: "Let
him not remove anything of his hair or skin."
The scholars of the Standing Committee said:
It is prescribed for the one who wants to offer a sacrifice, when the
month of Dhu'l-Hijjah begins, that he should not remove anything from
his hair, nails or skin until he has offered the sacrifice, because of
the report narrated by the group apart from al-Bukhaari (may Allaah
have mercy on them), from Umm Salamah (mayAllaah be pleased with her),
that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said: "When you see the new moon of Dhu'l-Hijjah, and one of you
wants to offer a sacrifice, let him refrain from (removing anything)
from his hair or nails." According to a version narrated by Abu
Dawood, Muslim and al-Nasaa'i: "Whoever hasa sacrifice to offer,
whenthe new moon of Dhu'l-Hijjah begins, let him notremove anything
from his hair or nails until he has offered the sacrifice"– whether he
is going to slaughter the sacrifice himself or has asked someone else
to slaughter it on his behalf. As for the one on whose behalf the
sacrifice is being offered, that is not prescribed in his case,
because there is no report to that effect. That is not called
ihraam,rather ihraam refers to the one who enters ihraam for Hajj or
'Umrah or both. End quote.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa'imah, 11/397, 398
The scholars of the Standing Committee were asked:
In the hadeeth it says, "Whoever wants to offera sacrifice or appoint
some else to slaughter the sacrifice for him, from the beginning of
the month of Dhu'l-Hijjah, let him not remove anything from his hair,
skin or nails, until he has offered the sacrifice." Does this
prohibition apply to all the members of a household, old and young, or
does it apply to the adults only and not the children?
They replied:
We do not know of a version of the hadeeth which appears as mentioned
in the question. The version which we know is narrated from the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), as reported by
the group apart from al-Bukhaari from Umm Salamah (may Allaah be
pleased with her), according to which the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When you see the new moon
of Dhu'l-Hijjah, and one of you wants to offer a sacrifice, let him
refrain from (removing anything) from his hair or nails." According to
a version narrated by Abu Dawood – which was also narrated by Muslim
and al-Nasaa'i – "Whoever has a sacrifice to offer, when the new moon
of Dhu'l-Hijjah begins, let him not remove anything from his hair or
nails until he has offered the sacrifice." This hadeeth indicates that
it is not allowed to remove anything from the hair or nails after the
first tendays of Dhu'l-Hijjah begin, for the one who wants to offer a
sacrifice. The first report includes a command to refrain, which
basically implies that refraining isobligatory, and we do not know of
any reason to interpret it otherwise.The second report includes the
prohibition on removing anything, which basically implies that it is
haraam, and wedo not know of any reason to interpret it otherwise.
Thus it is clear that this hadeeth applies only to the one who wants
to offer the sacrifice. As for the one on whose behalf the sacrifice
is being offered, whether he is old or young he is not forbidden to
remove anything from his hair, skin or nails, based on the basic
principle, which is that these actions are permitted. We do not know
of any evidence to the contrary.End quote.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-'Daa'imah, 11/426, 427
Secondly:
None of these things are haraam for the one who does not intend to
offer a sacrifice because he is unable to. Whoever removes anything
from his hair or nails althoughhe plans to offer a sacrifice does not
have to offer any fidyah (ransom), but he has to repent and seek
forgiveness.
Ibn Hazm (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Whoever wants to offer a sacrifice, it is obligatory for him, once the
month of Dhu'l-Hijjah begins, not to remove anything from his hair or
nails until he has offered the sacrifice,whether that is by shaving,
trimming or any other means. Whoever does not plan to offer a
sacrifice is not obliged to adhere to that.
Al-Muhallah, 6/3
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Once this is established, then he should forego cutting his hair or
clipping his nails. If he does that, he should ask Allaah for
forgiveness, but he does not have to offer any fidyah, according to
scholarly consensus, whether he did that deliberately or out of
forgetfulness.
Al-Mughni, 9/346
Note:
Al-Shawkaani said:
The reason behind this prohibition is so that all parts will remain to
be ransomed from the Fire, or it was said that it is sothat he will
resemble theone who is in ihraam. Both views were narrated by
al-Nawawi, but he narrated from thecompanions of al-Shaafa'i that the
second view is a mistake, because (the person who wants to offer a
sacrifice) does not keep away from women or stop putting on perfume or
wearing regular clothes, and other things which the person in ihraam
refrains from.
Nayl al-Awtaar, 5/133
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Sacrifices, - Ruling on sacrificing camels other than an’aam animals.

A person lives at the North Pole and wants to offer a sacrifice. Is it
permissible for him to sacrifice a fish?.
Praise be to Allaah.
It is not valid to sacrifice a fish, horse, deer or chicken, because
one of the conditions of sacrifice is that it must be one of the
an'aam animals, which are camels, cattle and sheep of all kinds,
because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And for every nation We have appointed religious ceremonies, that
they may mention the Name of Allaah over the beast of cattle [an'aam]
that He has given them for food"
[al-Hajj 22:34]
It is not reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) or any of his companions sacrificed any other kind of
animal.
See: Fath al-Qadeer (9/97).
Al-Nawawi said in al-Majmoo' (8/364-366):
The conditions of a sacrifice being valid include that it should be
one of the an'aam animals, which are camels, cattle and sheep.All
kinds of camels, cattleand sheep, including goats, are acceptable.
Other kinds of animals, such as wild cattle, donkeys etc are not
acceptable, and there is no difference of scholarly opinion on
thispoint, whether male or female of all kinds, thereis no difference
of opinion on any of that inour view.
A cross between a deer and sheep is not acceptable, because it is not
an an'aam animal. End quote.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said something similar in
al-Mughni (368).
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-'Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on
him) said in his essay Ahkaam al-Udhiyah wa'l-Zakaah (rulings on
sacrifice and zakaah):
The type (of animal) thatmay be sacrificed is an'aam animals only,
because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And for every nation We have appointed religious ceremonies, that
they may mention the Name of Allaah over the beast of cattle [an'aam]
that He has given them for food"
[al-Hajj 22:34]
The an'aam animals are camels, cattle, sheep andgoats. This was stated
byIbn Katheer who said: This was the view of al-Hasan, Qataadah and
others. Ibn Jareer said: This is how it is among the Arabs. End quote.
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Do
not sacrifice anything but a musinnah; if one isnot available then
sacrifice a jadh'ah sheep(one that is over a year old)." Narrated by
Muslim (1963). A musinnah is a camel, cow or sheep that is twoyears
old or older. This was the view of the scholars (may Allaah have mercy
on them).
The sacrifice is an act of worship, and it should not be done except
in the manner narrated from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him), and it is not narrated that he
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sacrificed anything but a
camel, cow or sheep. End quote.

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