Women Site , - Criteria for Choosing aSpouse

Religion
Among the many criteria in selecting a life partner, the foremost is
religion. Islam has established the importance of choosing a religious
wife for it is faith which protects a woman from committing anything
that isprohibited. A religious woman always keeps away from whatever
enrages Allaah The Almighty or dishonors her husband. On the other
hand, a corrupt woman, particularly one who takes extreme pride in her
beauty and wealth, does not adhere to the teachings of Islam and is
certainly prone to the devil's insinuations, who may trick her into
not adequately safeguarding her chastity or honor. Hence, Islam urges
men toprefer the religious woman and be meticulous in their search for
her in every Muslim household.
The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam , pointed out the decisive
factors on which basis people choose a wife and guided us to what the
best is in that regard, when he said: "A woman is married for four
things: her wealth, her noble ancestry, her beauty and her religion.
So win the religious woman; (otherwise)you will be a loser."
[Al-Bukhaari] This stresses that if we overlook the religious aspect
and pursue only attractiveness, riches or noble lineage, we would lose
out,indicating we did not aim high enough.
The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam , even commanded us,
saying: "Do not marry women for their good looks, as their beauty
might destroy them; and do not marry them for their wealth as their
riches might lead them to be overbearing. Marry them for their
religion; and a black and unattractive maid who is religious, is
better [than them both]." [Ibn Maajah] Islam has not set a criterion
that decides a beauty queen, for even all men have not collectively
agreed on the beauty of a single woman. It has, however, stated that
beauty in a wife is indeed in the eye of her beholder husband. Hence,
one must not merely focus on a woman's looks, affluence or family, at
the expense of religion;indeed, as someone once said, beauty with an
evil soul is like a lantern on a Magi's grave.
However, if a pious woman also possesses good looks, wealth or a noble
lineage, then that is the most preferable, but even in that,religion
must be the decisive factor.
Our righteous predecessors were keen on selecting religious
wives,regardless of their looks and social or financial status. The
Commander of the Believers, 'Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allaah be
pleased with him, was once so impressed by the pious daughter of a
woman who was a milk vendor, that he recommended his son 'Aasim, may
Allaah be pleased with him, to marry her. According to reliable
historians, 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, mentioned that had
he wanted to marry someone himself, it would have been her, as Imaam
Ibn Al-Jawzi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, narrates: "Ibn Zayd
narrated on the authority of the grandfather of Aslam that he said,
'Once I went with 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, while he was
on one of his night walks in Madeenah. He felt tired, so he leaned
against a wall and heard a woman telling her daughter to mix the milk
with water before selling it. The daughter told her that 'Umar,
theCommander of the believers, forbade that, but the mother insisted,
saying that she was in a place where 'Umar and his deputy could not
see her. However, the girl said, '[I swear] by Allaah, I will not obey
him publicly and disobey him secretly.' The Commander of the
Believers, meanwhile, was hearing all this; he then looked atme and
instructed: 'O Aslam, mark this door.'' He continued onin his walk and
in the morning, he called me, and said, "O Aslam! Go to the house that
you marked and find out who the speakers were and see if there is a
man [in the house]." I went there and discovered that they were an
unmarried girl and her mother, and that they lived together without
anyone else. I returned and told 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with
him. He called his sons and said to them, "Does any of you need a
wife? Had your father been capable of getting married, he would have
hastenedto marry this woman. I wish that one of you would marry her.'
So, 'Aasim said, "O father! As you know, I have no wife, so [I
believe] I am more entitled to marry her." 'Umar sent someone to
propose to the milk seller's daughter on behalf of his son andthe two
soon married. The youngwoman gave birth to a daughter who later
married 'Abdul-'Azeez ibn Marawaan; and this girl gave birth to the
fifth Rightly-Guided Caliph, 'Umar ibn 'Abdul-'Azeez, may Allaah have
mercy upon him."
Hence, the fruit of this noble marriage was the birth of a Caliph, who
was unprecedented in his justice and asceticism, and in popularity
among his subjects.
As for the particular characteristics of a righteous marriage
prospect, the best of mankind, the Prophet, sallallaahu'alayhi wa
sallam , said, in a Hadeeth on the authority of Ibn 'Abbaas, may
Allaah be pleased with him: "Would you like me to tell you about the
best treasure aman could have? [She is] a righteous woman, who pleases
him when he looks at her, preserves his honor when he is away from her
and acts in accordance with what he asks of her." In another Hadeeth
on the authority of Abu Umaamah, may Allaah be pleased with him, the
Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam , said: "The best that benefits
a believer, after [possessing] the fear of Allaah The Almighty, is a
pious wife whominds what he bids her, pleases him when he looks at
her, helps him fulfill his oath and protects her chastity and his
property in his absence." [Ibn Maajah]
Such a righteous, religious woman certainly exists. If the father head
of the household is pious himself, his daughters will be chaste and
religious, too.
Morals
The second criterion in selecting a wife, which is closely tied to
thefirst, is that she must possess good morals. Indeed, a truly
religious woman would have a good character, as her faith would
prevent her from evil in speech, whether through hurtful words or
gossip, and actions. Having good morals is a basic characteristic when
in looking fora wife, as the wise man Luqmaanrightly advised his son:
"O son! Seek refuge with Allaah The Almighty from an immoral woman, as
she would age you before your time. O son! Ask Allaah The Almighty to
protect you from the evil of women and to grant you the best of them.
Endeavor to find a righteous woman, so you can be happy for life."
Virginity
While not a requirement per se, Islam urges a Muslim to marry a virgin
only because men naturallyprefer a woman who has never been with
anyone else before. Knowing their nature, the Prophet, sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam , asked Jaabir ibn 'Abdullaah, may Allaah be
pleasedwith him, after his marriage to a non-virgin woman: "Why did
you not marry a virgin who would play with you and you would playwith
her?" Jaabir, may Allaah be pleased with him, told the Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam , that it was only because his father
had died and left his young sisters in his care, and thatan older,
mature woman would be more capable of taking care ofthe house. There
is no doubt thata bride who is a virgin devotes allher love to the one
man who chose her from among countless women; and indeed, the first
loveis true love. Also, since a virgin does not have experience with
men, she will devote all her affection to the only man who married
her.
Fertility
Once again, as a matter of a better (and not only) choice, Islam urges
the Muslim to marry fertile women, who are free fromany disease that
prevents pregnancy, as may be determinedby pre-marital checkups and
through consultation with specialist doctors. Further, if a potential
bride's mother, relatives and married sisters havechildren, then, it
is most likely that she is genetically predisposed to bearing
offspring,as well.
The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam , forbade Muslims
fromcelibacy and ordered them to look for fertile women as spouses,
saying: "Marry affectionate and fertile women, as I will be proud of
your great number, among the Prophets on the Day of Judgment." [Abu
Daawood and An-Nasaa'i] In another instance, a man came to the
Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam , seeking his advice on whether
he should marry a woman who is beautiful but infertile. The Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam , said: "No." Then, he came to ask the
Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam , a second time, and he forbade
him again. After he camea third time, he, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa
sallam , said, "Marry the affectionate and fertile women as I shall
outnumber people by you (on the Day of Judgment)." [Abu Daawood and
An-Nasaa'i]
Closeness in culture and age
Homogeneity in marriage, according to Islamic jurisprudence, is in
choosing a wife that is close to the man in age, culture and family
background. This is because due to similar standards, the harmony of
marital life may be maintained in a like-minded couple.
However, scholars have different opinions in this regard; some of them
say that this is necessary, basing their stance on some Hadeeth of the
Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam , such as the one where he
said: "Choose for your semen (i.e., children); marry suitable people
[to each other] and get married to suitable partners." [Ibn Maajah]
However, some scholars disagree,saying this cannot stand as proof,as
all Muslims are competent for each other. There are Hadeeths that
support this opinion, such asthe one narrated by Al-Bukhaari, may
Allaah have mercy upon him,in which Sahl, may Allaah be pleased with
him, relates that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam asked
them about a man that passed by them. The people said: "He is worthy
of being accepted when he proposes for marriage, of his intercession
being given consideration and being listened to when he speaks." After
that, one of the poor Muslims passed by them and the Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam , asked them about him, whereupon they
remarked: "He isnot worthy of being accepted when he proposes or
intercedes, or of being listened to when he speaks." The Prophet,
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam , then stated: "The latter is better
than many men like the former" , apparently on the basis of his
religion and morals. - - ▓███▓ Translator:->
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Women Site , - A Hidden Treasure: An Insightful an..

Ibn Mas'ood, may Allaah be pleased with him, said, "The most
insightful of people were three persons: the companion of Yoosuf
(Joseph), may Allaah exalt his mention, when he saidto his wife : }
Make his residence comfortable. { [Quran 12:21]; the wife of Moosa
(Moses), may Allaah exalt his mention, when she said : } O my father,
hirehim. { [Quran 28:26]; and Abu Bakr, may Allaah be pleased with
him, when he assigned'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, as his
successor."
What made Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, move from Egypt to
Madyan in the south of Palestine to marry the daughter of the
righteous man and to look after his sheep for ten years?
Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, lived in Egypt, and one day while
he was walking down a street,he saw two men fighting each other -- one
of them was from his own people, namely the Children of Israel; and
the other belonged to the family of Pharaoh. The Egyptian man wanted
to force the Israeli manto do some work for him. As the latter sought
help from Moosa, he (Moosa), may Allaah exalt his mention, pushed the
Egyptian man who died on the spot. Allaah The Almighty Says (what
means): } And he entered the cityat a time of inattentionby its people
and found therein two menfighting: one from his faction and one from
among his enemy. And the one from his faction called for help to him
against the one from his enemy, so Moosa (Moses) struck him and
[unintentionally] killedhim. [Moses] said, "This is from the work of
Satan. Indeed, he is a manifest, misleading enemy." { [Quran 28:15]
On the following day, the Israeli man quarreled with another man and
sought help from Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, onceagain, who
said to him, "Indeed, you are apersistent deviator." Therefore, the
man from Bani Israa'eel feared him and disclosed the secret by saying,
"Do you intend to kill me as you killed a man yesterday?" Thus,
Pharaoh and his soldiers knew that it was Moosa, may Allaahexalt his
mention, whohad killed the Egyptianman. However, a man came from the
farthestend of the city and warned Moosa, may Allaah exalt his
mention, who left Egypt immediately andinvoked forgiveness from Allaah
The Almighty, saying, } "My Lord, indeed I have wronged myself, so
forgive me," and He forgave him. Indeed, He is The Forgiving, The
Merciful. { [Quran 28:16]
Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, left Egypt and moved from one
place to another until he arrived at Madyan in the south of Palestine.
He sat next to a well and saw something that did notappeal to him.
While the shepherds were busy watering their cattle from the well, two
women stood nearby and were prevented from approaching the well with
their sheep, since they were too shy to join the throng of men.Moosa,
may Allaah exalt his mention, was impressed by the scene, for he
thought that the two women should have been allowed to water their
sheep first, given access and helped by the men.
Hence, he went over to the spot and asked them what the matter was,
and they told him that they could not water their sheep untilthe men
had finished watering their cattle first. They said their father was
so old that he could not water the sheep himself. With the chivalry
that is expected on the part ofrighteous men, Moosa, may Allaah exalt
his mention, stepped forward and joined thecrowd of shepherds to water
the women's sheep for them. Then he moved to seek shelter under a
shady tree and privately addressed his Lord, } "My Lord, indeed I am,
for whatever good Youwould send down to me, in need." { [Quran 28:24]
The two young womenreturned to their father, who was amazed at their
speedy return, since they used to stay for a long time to water their
sheep. When he asked them how they had come back so quickly, they told
him the story of the strong man who had watered the sheep for them
anddid them that favor without knowing who they were or charging them
a wage for his service; doing so out ofchivalry and graciousness.
The father asked one of his daughters to summon that man. Hence, one
of them went to him, walking shyly, to convey to him the invitation of
her father, } Indeed, my father invites you that he may reward you for
having watered for us. { [Quran 28:25] Moosa, may Allaah exalt his
mention, accepted the invitation and when hereached the old man and
narrated his story to him, the old man reassured him by saying, } Fear
not. You have escaped from the wrongdoing people. { [Quran 28:25]
At which time, one of the two young women,driven by her good insight
and sound disposition, proposed to her father something that was
useful for them and forMoosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, by saying,
} O my father, hire him. Indeed, the best one you can hire is the
strong and the trustworthy. { [Quran 28:26] She and her sister had to
do a tiresome job grazing the sheep, and they sought concealment
byavoiding strange men in pastures and over the well, for women who
have chaste souls are not pleased with gathering with men. Also,
Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, was powerfuland honest enough to
be qualified to undertake the task. The young woman offered her point
of view with full clarity, fearing nothing, for she was innocent in
the spirit and delicate in her senses.
The old man was convinced of the reasons that his daughter provided
regarding the suitability of Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, to
work for them and to become related to the man through marriage, so he
said to him, } "Indeed, I wish to wed you one of these, my two
daughters, on [thecondition] that you serve me for eight years; but if
you complete ten, it will be[as a favor] from you. And I do not wish
to put you in difficulty. You will find me, if Allaah wills, from
among the righteous." Moosa [Moses] said, "That is [established]
between me and you. Whichever of the two terms I complete, thereis no
injustice to me, and Allaah, over what we say, is witness."} [Quran
28:27-28]
When Moosa, may Allaah exalt his mention, fulfilled the term by having
worked ten years for his father-in-law, he wanted to leave to Egypt,
and the old man agreed to that and wished him the best. Hence, he left
with his wife and took with him the sheep that the old man gave him,
and walked from Madyan to Egypt.
Thus, Moosa's wife, may Allaah be pleased with her, was a good example
of a believer who was insightful and bashful and a role model in
choosing an honest and chaste husband.

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Fathwa, - How can a traveler by land purify herself after menstruation

Question
Is it permissible to delay Ghusl for menstruation while traveling
until I reach my country? I travel by land and want to know what I
should doin this case .
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad
, is His Slave and Messenger.
Purification with water isobligatory and a prerequisite for performing
the prayer, unless there is a Sharee'ah-approved justification, such
as the unavailability of water. In the latter case, purification with
earth (Tayammum) will be the alternative. Allaah The Almighty Says
(what means): { But if you are illor on a journey or one ofyou comes
from the placeof relieving himself or you have contacted women and do
not find water, then seek clean earth and wipe over yourfaces and
hands with it. } [Quran 5: 6]
If delaying Ghusl while traveling will cause you to miss the prayer's
fixed time, then it is one of the grave major sins. Consequently, you
are not permitted to delay Ghusl while traveling until you return
home. If there is not enough water for Ghusl, or there is water but
you need it for drinking, you can perform Tayammum and then pray.
Nevertheless, it is rare nowadays to be without water when one is
traveling by land because there are many bathrooms spread along paved
roads and many stations and rest houses.
Allaah Knows best. - - ▓███▓ Translator:->
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Fathwa, - Making tayammum with the dust on the plane seats

Question
Is it valid to make Tayammum (dry ablution) with the dust on the plane
seats while we are traveling for about 10 hours from Jakarta to
Jeddah? One ofthe Imaams here says that Tayammum in this way is
invalid because there is no dust on the plane seats since it is always
removed by vacuum cleaners. What is the Sharee'ah ruling?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify
that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad
, is His Slave and Messenger.
If there is no water available on board the plane and there is dust on
the seats, which is mostly rare, but assumingthere is dust then
Tayammum is valid.
In Al-Mughni, Ibn Qudaamah said: " If one struck his hands against
felted wool, a garment or a saddle and then dust clung to his hands
and he made Tayammum therewith, Tayammum is valid. Ahmad mentioned all
thisarguing that the criterionis the presence of dust. Consequently,
if one struck his hands against arock, wall, animal or anything else,
and then dust clung to his hands, he is permitted to make Tayammum
therewith. If there is no dust, Tayammum is invalid . "
As-Sarakhsi a Hanafi scholar, said: " Abu Haneefah and Muhammad quoted
as evidence the Hadeeth of 'Umar when he was in a travel with his
companions. He ordered them to dust off their felted wool and saddles
and make Tayammum with its dust. Also, dust is a part of earth but it
is light, since when a person shakes off his garment, those who are
beside him are harmed by the dust . "
If there is no dust on the seats and there is no other source for dust
andyou wanted to perform the prayer before the expiry of its fixed
time, you are allowed to perform the prayer with neither Wudhoo'
(ablution) nor Tayammum due to necessity.
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