Advice for one who suffers from premature ejaculation even though he is using a special du‘aa’.

Dought & clear, - I am a young man who isabout to get married, but I
have a problem, namely premature ejaculation. I know that this is a
problem that will cause me a lot of difficulty when having intercourse
after marriage. At present I am taking steps to deal with this matter
myself by reciting Qur'an. Whengoing to sleep, I place my hand over my
penis and recite al-Faatihah and "And We send downfrom the Quran that
which is a healing and a mercy…" [al-Isra' 17:82] and "And when I am
ill, it is He who cures me" [ash-Shu 'ara' 26:80], each one seven
times, then I say: "I ask Allah, Lord of the Mighty Throne, to heal
me" seven times, then I offer supplication (du'aa'), then I blow on my
penis three times. And every morning – when I am going to work in my
car – I place my hand over my penis and recite the last two verses of
Soorat al-Baqarah, Aayat al-Kursiy, al-Faatihah, al-Mu'awwidhaat, and
Ikhlaas and the two verses I mentioned above, in addition to
thesupplication that I mentioned, then I blow three times on my penis.
I do that three times, then after that I ask Allahto heal me from
this. Is what I am doing something correct or arethere other means or
other verses? I do not want to get married when I am in this state.
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
We do not know how you can suffer from premature ejaculation when you
are not married! Such a thing only becomes apparent after getting
married, sohow can you be suffering from it?
What appears to us to bethe case is that, if this is not something
imaginary that is not really happening, you may have come to know
about it from practising the secret habit! If that isthe case, you
should realise that you have to hasten to stop doing it, for it has
many harmful effects, one of which is that it causes premature
ejaculation merely as a result of the penis touching something
provocative.
Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah havemercy on him) said: It
is medically proven that masturbation leads to a number of diseases.
For example, it weakens the eyesight and reduces sharpness of vision
to a great extent. It also weakens the penis so that it becomes
partially or completely flaccid, in such a way that the one who does
that becomes more like a woman because he loses the most important
characteristic of manhood with which Allah has favoured men over
women. Thus he is unable to get married and if it so happens that he
does get married, he is not able to perform his marital function in
the manner required, so it is inevitable that his wife will look at
other men, because he is not able to keep her chaste. And that has
negative consequences as is quite obvious.
It also leads to nervous weakness in general as aresult of the
exhaustion that results from doing that action. And it leads to
problems in the digestive system, leadingto poor digestion. It also
leads to stunted growth, especially in the penis and testicles, which
do not grow to their full natural size. And it leads to infection in
the testicles, so that the individual develops the problem of
premature ejaculation, as he ejaculates if something merely brushes
against his penis.
Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/122, 123
You should not be anxious about this matter. As we have told you, if
the cause is doingthe secret habit, there is the hope that when you
give it up, Allah will make things easy for youand this symptom will
nolonger be present after you get married. If it does continue after
marriage, then you are advised not to go ahead with penetration until
you have engaged in foreplay and pleasure with your wife, and aroused
her, so that when she reaches climax, you can penetrate after that, so
as to keep yourself and her chaste. But do not overdo it either with
regard to foreplay, because that may be oneof the causes of premature
ejaculation.
If that does not work, then you can consult a specialist doctor who
can tell you about medicines to delay ejaculation. Perhaps when you
get used to sex, especially after the initial period, this problem
will go away without any need for medicine. It is well known that the
one whohas been unmarried for a long time will have intercourse many
times a day when he first gets married and he may ejaculate quickly,
but it will not be long before things settle down.
There are da'eef hadeeths which suggest that it is mustahabb for the
husband to engage in foreplay with his wife before penetration, and
warn against satisfying his desire without making sure that she is
also satisfied. Although the isnaads are da'eef, the meaning is
acceptable and they offer good advice in thatregard.
Ibn Qudaamah al-Maqdisi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It is mustahabb to engage in foreplay with one's wife before
intercourse, so as to arouse her and so that she will get the same
pleasure from intercourse as he does. Itwas narrated from 'Umaribn
'Abd al-'Azeez from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) that he said: "Do not have intercoursewith her until she is
aroused as you are, lest you finish before she finishes." I [the
narrator]said: Are you telling me? He said: "Yes; you should kiss her
and touch her, until you see that she is aroused as you are, thenhave
intercourse with her."
If he reaches climax before she does, it is not right for him to
withdraw until she reaches climax, because of the report narrated by
Anas ibn Maalik who said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace
of Allah be upon him) said: "When a man has intercourse with his wife,
let him pay proper attention to her. Then when he has fulfilled his
desire, he should not withdraw from her until she has fulfilled her
desire." And because that may be harmful to her and prevent her from
fulfilling her desire.
Al-Mughni, 8/136
Both hadeeths are da'eef (weak), but they are correct in meaning, as
we stated above.
Al-Mannaawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"When one of you has intercourse with his wife, let him pay proper
attention to her" i.e., let him have intercourse with her
energetically and vigorously, doing it properly and with love and
sincerity towards her. This is what is recommended.
"If he finishes before her" i.e., if he reaches climax first and she
is still aroused.
"He should not withdraw from her" i.e., before she reaches climax and
fulfils her desire; rather he should give her time so that shecould
fulfil her desire as he fulfilled his desire. So he should not move
away from her until he iscertain that she has fulfilled her desire,
because that is part of kind treatment, keeping her chaste and being
considerate towards her.
From this hadeeth and others we learn that if the man is quick to
reach climax, such that he cannot give his wife time to reach climax,
it isrecommended for him toseek treatment that will delay ejaculation,
because this is a means of doing something recommended, and means come
under the same ruling as ends.
Fayd al-Qadeer, 1/325
Secondly:
With regard to the du'aa's that you are reciting as a remedy, what is
sound of that is what is proven to be sound in the saheeh Sunnah.
Anything other than that it is permissible to use, but on condition
that you donot make it a regular wird as one may do withthe dhikrs
narrated fromthe Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him).
With regard to your reciting the verses "And We send down from the
Quran that which is a healing and a mercy…" [al-Isra' 17:82] and "And
when I am ill, it is He who cures me" [ash-Shu 'ara' 26:80], there is
nothing wrong with that, although it would be better to treat yourself
by reciting that which is narrated from the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) and to treat yourself with ruqyah as
narrated from him.
We have discussed what is proven of such du'aa's in the answer to
question no. 75399 . Thatshould be sufficient and good, in sha Allah.
With regard to placing your hand over the private part or touching it
whilst reciting the ruqyah and the Qur'anic verses it contains, we do
not think that you should do that; we are afraid that using the Qur'an
in this manner may be disrespectful. Moreover, the problem that you
mention is not an obvious sickness suchthat you could do that when
treating it with ruqyah. Even if it is a sickness, the sickness is not
in the private part, as you think and because of that you havebeen
using the ruqyah that you mention. Ratherit is, as is proven, a
problem that is rooted inyour nervous system thatcannot control
ejaculation in the normal manner.
To sum up, we do not advise you to delay marriage in order to solve
this problem; the real situation will not become clear until after you
get married. Perhaps it is imaginary or an excess of desire, because
you are unmarried, and it will soon disappear after youget married. If
it so happens that the problem remains, then you can use some
appropriate medical treatment after consulting a specialist.
And Allah knows best.

How can she introduce Islam to her young children and make them love it?.

Dought & clear, - I have embraced Islam – praise be to Allah – and I
have three children; I come from a Christian family that is tolerant
of my being Muslim. My question is: how can I introduce Islam to my
children, one of whom iseleven years old, the other is eight years
old, and my daughter is five years old, without forcing them?
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
We praise Allah for having enabled you to enter Islam and we ask Him,
may He be exalted, to make you steadfast and to guide your familyto
this religion.
We are advise you not tobe careless or lazy about guiding and teaching
them, in the way that is best, in the hope that Allah will grant you
the joy of seeing them enter Islam, and decree for you a reward equal
to the reward for their good deeds.
Secondly:
You have done well to ask about your children and how to raise them in
Islam. Allah, may He beexalted, has placed a great deal of
responsibility on parents' shoulders for the upbringing of their
children.
It was narrated that 'Abdullah ibn 'Umar (mayAllah be pleased with
him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) say: "Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is
responsible for hisflock. The ruler is a shepherd and is responsible
for his flock. A man is the shepherd ofhis household and is
responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband's
house"
Narrated by al-Bukhaari,853; Muslim, 1829
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Whoever neglects to teach his son that which will benefit him, and
ignores him, has done something very bad indeed. Most children
goastray because of their parents who neglect them and fail to teach
them the duties and Sunnahs of their religion. They neglect them when
they are young so they do not benefit themselves or benefit their
parents when they grow up. End quote. End quote from Tuhfat
al-Ahwadhi, p. 229
Thirdly:
What we advise you to do with regard to introducing Islam to your
children making it appealing to them include the following:
1. Create a connection between them and the Arabic language, and
instil a love for it in theirhearts, because it is an important key to
understanding and loving Islam.
2. Help them get to know friends of their own age and background
who are practising Muslims. It is essential that these friends should
be of good character and righteous, so that they can influence your
children and be an example for them in their righteousness and
adherence to Islam, and the manner in which they interact with their
parents.
The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
said: "The likeness of a good companion and a bad companion is that of
onewho carries musk and one who works the bellows. With the carrierof
musk, either he will give you some or you will buy some from him, or
you will notice a goodsmell from him; as for the one who works the
bellows, either he will burn your clothes or youwill notice a bad
smell from him."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari,1995; Muslim, 2628
3. Make them feel an attachment to the mosque, by encouragingthem
to pray and attend classes; you can also make that attractive to them
and encourage them by giving them gifts and prizes every time one of
them shows some progress in his or her classes.
It is also a good idea for you to go with them to the mosque, to
encourage them to go there and pray.
If it is not easy for them to go to the mosque because it is far away
or the route is not safe, then do not neglect to teach them to pray on
time at home. There is a binding instruction (from the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)) to teach those who reach
the age of seven to pray and to make them do it; before this age they
maybe taught but not by way of making them do it.
The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
said: "Instruct your children to pray when they are seven years old
and smack them if they do not do it when they are ten, and separate
them in their beds."
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 495; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh
Abi Dawood
4. Let them hear Qur'an recited in beautiful voices, so that the
Qur'an will be held in high esteem in their hearts. The Book of
Allahis a Book of guidance and light for people, which will illuminate
theway for them and make them steadfast in adhering to the straight
path, by Allah's leave.
5. Watch Islamic cartoons and movies so that they can compare what
they see and hear in them with what they see and hear in other movies.
Here you have an important role to playin explaining the differences
between the two, and highlight how Islam encourages peopleto do good,
uphold ties of kinship, show kindness and be merciful, and it forbids
evil, severing ties of kinship, corruption and hardheartedness.
6. Show them Islamic websites that will be beneficial for them,
eachaccording to his age andwhilst being careful not to let them roam
freely on the internet; rather that should be through you.
7. Something that you should think about seriously and that will
help you in what you areseeking to achieve is taking them to do 'Umrah
and visit the sacred House of Allah, for these visits have a
far-reaching impact on the hearts of young people as is also the
casewith adults.
8. Teach them the basic principles of belief in a simple and
straightforward manner according to their ages, such as the Oneness of
Allah, may He be exalted,and that He can hear them and see them, and
that He rewards for good deeds and adhering to the rulings of Islam
The fact that 'Abdullah ibn 'Abbaas was very young did not prevent the
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) from saying to him
eloquent words about Tawheed and 'aqeedah (belief). It was narrated
that Ibn 'Abbaas said: I was behind the Messenger ofAllah (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) one day and he said: "O young man, I
shall teach you some words (of advice): be mindful of Allah, and Allah
will protect you. Bemindful of Allah, and youwill find Him in front of
you. If you ask, ask of Allah; if you seek help, seek help of Allah.
Know that if the nation were to gather together to benefit you with
anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allah
hadalready decreed for you, and that if they were to gather together
to harm you with anything, they would only harm you with something
Allah had already decreed for you. The pens have beenlifted and the
pages have dried."
Narrated by at-Tirmidhi, 2516; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh at-Tirmidhi.
See also the answer to question no. 22175
9. Present stories appropriate to their ages from the biographyof
the Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and
his noble Companions (may Allah be pleased with them), so that they
will know that they belong to the best religion, the best Prophet, the
best nation.
|See the answer to questions no. 21215 and 22496
10. Put them in Islamic schools and keep them away from corrupt
schools, so that the Islamic schools can take care of their beliefs
and conduct; choose the bestof them according to what you see fit.
See the answer to question no. 38284
You should not be careless about two important matters:
-1-
Pray that Allah help themand guide them; your supplication will be an
important means of their being guided, so do not neglect it and do not
think little of it.
-2-
You should be a good example for them in treating them kindly
andshowing compassion towards them. That is not only part of
motherhood; it is also part of being a Muslim who adheres to the
religion of Allah, may He be exalted.
We ask Allah to help you to do that which is good and to guide your
children to that which He loves and which pleases Him.

Army of Elephants - Islamic Stories

The following incident ismentioned in Surah Feel of the Holy Quran and
it happened during the period of the birth-year of Prophet Muhammad
(peace be upon him). Abraha Al-Ashram was the governor of Yemen on
behalf of the king of Ethiopia. He (Abrahah) thought to build a
house(like the Kabah at Makkah) in Sana (the capital of Yemen) and
call the Arabs to performthe pilgrimage there in Sana instead of the
Kabah in Makkah, with the intention of diverting the trade and
benefits from Makkah to Yemen. He presented his idea to the king of
Ethiopia who agreed to it. So the house (church) was built and he
named it Al-Qullais; there was no church of its like at that time.
Then a man from the Quraish tribe ofMakkah came there and was
infuriated by it, so he relieved his nature (stools and urine) in it,
soiled its walls and went away. When Abrahah Al-Ashram saw that, he
could not control his anger and raised an army to invade Makkah and
demolish the Kabah.He had in that army thirteen elephants and amongst
them was an elephant called Mahmud which was the biggest of them. So
that army proceeded and none amongst the Arab tribes that faced them
(fought against them) but was killed and defeated, till itapproached
near Makkah. Then there tookplace negotiations between Abrahah
Al-Ashram and the chief of Makkah (Abdul Muttalib bin Hashim, the
grandfather of the Prophet), and it was concluded that Abrahah would
restore the camels of Abdul Muttalib which he had taken away, and then
he (Abrahah) would decide himself as regards the Kabah. Abdul Muttalib
ordered the men of Makkah to evacuate the city and go to the top of
the mountains along with their wives and children in case some harm
should come to them from the invading oppressors. Then that army moved
towards Makkah till they reached valley Muhassir. While the army was
marching towards Makkah, in the middle of the valley, suddenly it was
overtaken by flocks of birds, flocks after flocks, air-raiding that
army with small stones slightlybigger than a lentil seed.There never
fell a stone on a soldier except it dissolved his flesh and burst it
into pieces. So they perished with a total destruction. Abrahah
Al-Ashram fled away while his flesh wasbursting into pieces till he
died on the way (back to Yemen). Such was the victory bestowed by
Allah, (the All-Majestic, All-Powerful) to the people of Makkah and
such was the protection provided by Him for His House (Kabah in
Makkah).
Source: Extracted from Tafsir of Surah Feel (Surah 105) by Ibn
Kathiras found in Translation of the Noble Quran by Muhammad Muhsin
Khan.

JOKES

Appu: I would like some crocodile shoes please. Pappu: Certainly, Sir!
What size shoe does your crocodile wear?
Good resolutions are likecollege girls. Easy to make, but hard to break.
By the time a man really does understand woman, his wife wont let him
out of the house at night.
Every man should have awife - preferably his own!
Insurance policy is an old man's passport to young women.
Appu: Would you consider going out with a man like me? Pappu: Yes, so
long as he is not too much like you.
Preeto: Were you excitedthe first time you asked your husband for
money? Jeeto: Oh, I was calm and collected.
Pappu: Doctor: I am having trouble with my breathing. Doctor: I will
give you something that will soon stop that.
A sign in a cafe: All drinking water in this cafe has been passed by
the management.
Preeto: I won't marry you, and you know why?Jeetho: No, I can't think.
Preeto: That's why.