Compassion in the Qur'an

All Muslims must embrace the moderate, gentle, compassionate, calm and
kind style Allah depicts in the Qur'an.
Radicalism means supporting sudden revolutionary destructive changes
in any sphere and applyinga strict uncompromising policy in order to
achieve them. Radicals are characterised by their desire for
revolutionary change and the stern, sometimesaggressive attitude they
adopt.
In this, as in every sphere of life, the guide for the Muslim is the
Qur'an. When we look atradicalism in the light of the Qur'an, we see
that ithas nothing to do with the way in which Allah commands the
believers to behave. When Allah describes a believer in the Qur'an,
He depicts him as a loving, soft-spoken person, shunning conflicts and
arguments, approachingeven the most hostile people with warmth
andfriendship.
Beautiful Examples from our Prophet (saas)
An example to guide us in this matter is the command given by Allah to
Moses and Aaron to go to Pharaoh and speakgently to him:
Go to Pharaoh; he has overstepped the bounds.But speak to him with
gentle words so that hopefully he will pay heed or show some
fear.(Surah Ta Ha, 43-44)
Pharaoh was one of the most cruel and rebellious unbelievers ofhis
time. He was a despot who denied Allah and worshipped idols; moreover,
he subjected believers (the Israelites of the time) to terrible
cruelties and murder. But Allah commanded His prophets to go to such
a hostile man and speak to him gently.
You will notice that the way shown by Allah wasthe way of friendly
dialogue, not the way ofconflict with sharp words, angry slogans and
agitated protests.
If we examine the Qur'an you will see that a warm, gentle and
compassionate disposition characterized all the prophets. Allah
describes Abraham as "tender-hearted and forbearing." (Surat at-Tawba,
114) and in another verse, the prophet Muhammad's moral principles are
described in this way:
It is a mercy from Allah that you were gentle with them. If you had
been rough or hard of heart, they would have scattered from around
you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them, and consult with
them about the matter. Then when you have reached a firm decision, put
your trust in Allah . Allah loves those who put their trust in Him.
(Sura Al'Imran, 159)
Compassion in Islam
An obvious characteristicof radicalism is its anger.This disposition
can be clearly seen in the speeches, writings and demonstrations of
radicals. However, angeris not an attribute of Muslims. When Allah
describes believers in the Qur'an, he describes," those who give in
times of both ease and hardship, those who control their rage and
pardon other people - Allah loves the good-doers" (Surah Al'Imran,
134)
Therefore, it is the duty of a Muslim only to explain the facts and to
invite people to accept them. Whether or not people accept the
invitation is completely up to their own conscience. Allah
revealsthis truth in the Qur'an when He says that there is no
compulsion in religion.
There is no compulsion where deen is concerned. Right guidance has
become clearly distinct from error...(Surat al-Baqara, 256)
Therefore, there is no coercion to make peoplebelieve and become
Muslims, or to make Muslims perform prayersand beware of sin. Thereis
only advice. Allah reveals in a few verses addressed to the Messenger
of Allah that Muslims are not oppressors:
We know best what theysay. You are not a dictator over them. So
remind, with the Qur'an, whoever fears My Threat. (Surah Qaf, 45)
Muslims are responsible only for explaining their religion, they apply
no pressure or coercion on anyone and are enjoined to speak gentlyto
even the most tyrannical deniers. Such persons cannot be radicals.
The Behind the Scenes ofRadicalism
There is no radicalism in the religion of Islam. Islam commands to be
moderate, temperate and compassionate and prohibits extremism. In one
verse Allah relates thus:
"Say: 'People of the Book! Do not go to extremes in your religion,
asserting other than the truth, and do not follow the whims and
desires of people who were misguided previously and have misguided
many others, and are far from the right way.' (Surat al-Maida, 77)
When the social phenomena depicted as "radicalism" are examined, it
will be seenthat they are actually a compilation of the methods and
statements formerly employed by communists.
Muslims must refrain from a harsh, angry, andchallenging approach, for
these are contrary to the Qur'an's method andessence. Instead,
Muslimsmust adopt the accepting, moderate, calm, and rational approach
described in the Qur'an. In other words, they must be rolemodels for
humanity and earn people's admiration for the morality of Islam and
themselves. Muslims should also make great progress and produce superb
works of science,culture, art, and aesthetics, as well as live Islam
in the best way, and thus represent it to the world. (Harun Yahya,
Justice and Compassion in the Qur'an )

Islam on dowry

The Real Gift
Islam has legislated the giving of the dower by the husband to the
wife in order to please the woman's heart and to honour her. It is
also meant to bring an end to what was done in the Days of Ignorance
wherein she was wronged, exploited, despised and robbed of her wealth.
The dower is a right exclusively for the wife. It is her possession
and none of her guardians or relatives may share any part of it. No
one has any power over her concerning how she wishes to dispose of it,
as long as she does so in a legally acceptable manner. She may give it
away as a gift, she may lend it to others or she may give it in
charity or do any other permissible acts she wishes with it.
T he dower was instituted because the goal of marriage is not the
actual act of the marriagecontract in itself. In fact, the actual
purpose of marriage cannot be achieved unless the spouses stay in a
state of marriage. However, that may not be achieved unless the dower
is an obligation at the time of the marriage contract itself. In this
case, when there come times that may lead the man to divorce his wife,
such as estrangement orcoarse behaviour, the husband would not be
willing to divorce his wife due to just the slightest act of rudeness
that occurs. If it were not for the dower that was required due to the
contract itself, it would be very easy for him to leave her.
Therefore, the goals of marriage would not be met as the goals and
benefits of marriage are only met when the two are in accord and
agreement with one anotherbut that accord will not come about unless
the woman is something honoured and special to the husband. But such
honour will not come about unless he had to give up something
important to him. This is becausewhat is most difficult to achieve is
most special to the person. Therefore, if the wife is not something
special in the eyes of the husband, then he will disposeof her at the
first sign of unhappiness, the accord will not occur and the purposes
of marriage will not be achieved.
What we see happening in some European countries, and indeed some
Muslim countries, is very strange indeed. This is where the woman is
required to furnish a dowry or provide the furniture for their future
house. This is definitely turning the natural order of things upside
down and goes against the nature of mankind. It leads to a great deal
of social ills and behavioural harm. It is a means by which the woman
is despised and belittled. Indeed, she is ruined because of it. If the
woman is not able to gather enough wealth together for marriage, she
will not be able to get married and, instead, will have boyfriends and
affairs, and other evil results.
Such a practice contains a great deal of evil and harm for the
society; this practice may even bring about society's end soon. There
is a great difference between the case where the woman feels that she
and what she possesses belong to her husband and where she feels that
she is something desired and honoured, as the fiancé spends money on
her and gives her presents and so on to get heras his wife.
One regrettable aspect of dowry-giving in recent times is that it is
becoming more and more a matter of ostentation. Nothing could be more
un-Islamic in motivation than this. Even the practice of performing a
marriage quietly, without any flamboyant display of wealth,
butsubsequently giving a lavish dowry to enable the bride to set up
her home is contrary to Islamic practice. It was certainly not the
Sunnah of the Prophet . Faatimah was his favourite daughter, but he
neither gave her a lavish dowry nor did he send things to her home
after the wedding, and even when she made a request to him for
something of a material nature, he only gave her the benefit of his
counsel.
Mahr (The Dower)
Islam has successfully maintainedan even balance in society between
men and women by giving its unequivocal endorsement to a practical
division of labour, whereby women are placed in charge of the internal
arrangement of the household, while men are responsible for its
financing. The home is thus organised on the pattern of a microcosmic
estate, with the man in a position of authority. The Quran is
specified on this issue; Allaah Says (what means): "Men are in charge
of women by [right of] what [qualities] Allaah has given one over the
other and what they spend [in support] from their wealth. So righteous
women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what
Allaah would have them guard…" [Quran 4:34]
For largely biological reasons, women are well adapted to domestic
pursuits while men, for similar reasons, are better suited to work
outside the home. These physical and mental differences between men
and women are, in practice, what underlay Islam's division of familial
responsibilities into internal and external spheres, with the woman
dealing exclusively with the home and family and the man providing the
funds.
Mahr Mu'ajjal (Promptly given dower)
At the time of the marriage, the groom hands over to the bride a sum
of money called Mahr (dower) which is a token of his willing
acceptance of the responsibility of bearing all necessary expenses of
his wife. This is the original meaning of Mahr, although this custom
has come to have different connotations in modern times.
There are two ways of presentingthe Mahr to the bride. One is to hand
it over at the time of the marriage, in which case it is known as Mahr
Mu'ajjal, or promptly given dower. During the time of the Prophet and
his companions, Mahr Mu'ajjal was the accepted practice and the amount
fixed was generally quite minimal. The giving of Mahrby 'Ali to
Faatimah who was the Prophet's daughter, is anillustration of how this
custom was respected. After the marriage had been arranged, the
Prophet asked 'Ali if he had anything he could give as dower in order
to make Faatimah his lawfully wedded wife. 'Ali replied:"I swear by
Allaah that I have nothing, O Messenger of Allaah." The Prophet then
asked: "Where is the coat of armour I once gave you?" 'Ali replied
that it was still in his possession. The Prophet then instructed him
to send the coat of armour to Faatimah thereby making his union
lawful. This then was the sum total of Faatimah's dower.

Who are the Mahrams of a Woman?

When people distance themselves from the instructions of Islam and the
rulings of religion -- especially those which guard chastity and the
'Awrah (parts of the body that must be covered), prevent mixing of
progeny and other immoral acts -- they fall into the pit of vice and
immorality. This is encouraged bythe enemies of Islam who try to
control women with all the possible means until they lead them astray
and strip them of their modesty, under the pretext of "liberating"
them. In reality, they wanted to liberate women from their religion,
modesty, and chastity.
As a ruling of Sharee'ah (Islamic legislation), a woman has to know
who her Mahrams (non-marriageable men) are, so as to guard herself and
her religion.
The following question was raised to An-Nawawi : "Who is the woman
whom a man is permitted to look at and meet her in seclusion?"
An-Nawawi replied, "It is every woman whom he is permanently forbidden
to marry due to a permissible reason because of her unlawfulness."
"Permanently" is said to exclude the wife's sister and her like,
namely her paternal aunt, maternal aunt, and her daughter if the
marital contract is concluded with the mother yet the marriage has not
been consummated with her.
"Due to a permissible reason" excludes the mother and her daughter
with whom a man had sexual intercourse mistakenly believing that it
was lawful. The mother and her daughter are permanently forbidden, not
because of a permissible reason, but because doubtful intercoursewhich
is neither described as permissible nor unlawful, because the man was
oblivious and thus, incompetent to receive religious commitment at
that time.
"Because of her unlawfulness" excludes the woman who is involved in
Li'aan (oath of condemnation). This woman is permanently forbidden to
remarry (her ex-husband) as an act of punishment, not because she is
unlawful for him. Allaah knows best." [The Fataawaa that is known as
Al-Manthooraat by An-Nawawi, question no. 223.]
Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And not expose their adornment
except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion
of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment
except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers,
their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers'
sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands
possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or
children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women.}
[Quran 24:31]
As regards "their fathers" up to the end of the verse, &Ibn Katheer&&
said, "These are all Mahrams for the woman who, therefore, is allowed
to appear tothem in her adornment without excessive display of
beauty."
Explanation of Mahrams:
• Their fathers: The woman's father.
• Their husbands' fathers: The husband's father and grandfathers, up
to all levels.
• Their sons: The woman's sons down to all levels, and also the sons
of daughters down to all levels.
• Their husbands' sons: Male sonsof the husband, including grandsons
down to all degrees, whether they are sons of the husband's sons or
daughters.
• Their brothers: The woman's brother
• Their brothers' sons: The brother's sons down to all degrees.
• Their sisters' sons: The sister's sons down to all degrees.
• Their women: Muslim, not polytheistic women, according tothe
preponderant opinion.
• That which their right hands possess: This may mean either:
bondmaids or bondmen.
• Male attendants having no physical desire: They are men who are not
at the same level as the women and have no interest in or desire for
women; or the oblivious person who has no desire; an imbecile; and, an
impotent man. The eunuch who can describe women is excluded.
• Children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women:
Because they are so young they do not understand anything about women
or their 'Awrah (parts of the body that must be covered). If a child
is young and does not understand that, there is nothing wrong with him
entering upon women, but if he is an adolescent or approaching
adolescence, so that he knows and understands these things, and can
make a distinction between a woman who is beautiful and one who is
not, then he should not enter upon women.
First benefit:
Are a woman's paternal and maternal uncles her Mahrams?
Al-Qurtubi said, "The majority of scholars held that thematernal and
paternal uncles of awoman are like other Mahrams inthat they are
allowed to see of the woman what is permissible for them to see."
Second benefit:
Is the daughter's husband a Mahram for her mother?
Ibn Katheer said, "The majority of scholars held that thewife's mother
becomes forbidden to be married to a person once he concludes the
marital contract with her daughter."
Third benefit:
Is the mother's husband a Mahram for her daughter (i.e. his stepdaughter)?
A mother's husband (the stepfather) is not a Mahram for her daughter
except on two conditions, as Ibn Hajar said in Al-Fat'h, "The
prohibition of marrying a stepdaughter is stipulated by two things:
o She must be under the guardianship of the man
o The man should have consummated the marriage with her mother.
Therefore, the stepfather is not a Mahram to his step-daughter if only
one of the two conditions exists."
This view was adopted by Daawood ibn 'Ali and his companions, chosen
by Ibn Hazm, narrated by Abu Al-Qaasim Ar-Raafi'i on the authority of
Maalik . However, Ibn Taymiyyah found it dubious and did not hold a
certain opinion regarding it.
Finally, the majority of scholars held that the stepdaughter is
unlawful to her stepfather in marriage, whether she was under his
guardianship or not. Please check Tafseer ibn Katheer and Fat'h
Al-Baari.

Divorce in Islam

Marriage, as prescribed by Allaah, is the lawful union of a man and
woman based on mutual consent. Ideally, the purpose of marriage is to
foster a state of tranquillity, love and compassion in Islam, but this
is not always the case. Islam discourages divorce but, unlike some
religions, does make provisions for divorce by either party.
Allaah provides general guidelines for the process of divorce with
emphasis on both parties upholding the values of justice and kindness
in formalising the end to their marriage (see [Quran 2: 224-237] for
general guidelines regarding divorce).
Allaah encourages the husband and wife to appoint arbitrators as the
first step to aid in reconciliation in the process of divorce. If the
reconciliation step fails, both the man and woman are guaranteed the
right to divorce as established in the Quran, but the difference lies
in the procedure for each one. When a divorce is initiated by the man,
it is known as Talaaq.
The pronouncement by the husband may be verbal or written, but once
made, there is to be a waiting period of three months ('Iddah) during
which there can be no sexual relations, even though the two are living
under the same roof.
The waiting period helps to prevent hasty terminations due to anger
and allows both parties time to reconsider as well as to see if the
wife is pregnant. If the wife is pregnant, the waiting period is
lengthened until she delivers. At any point during this time, the
husband and wife are free to resume their conjugal relationship,
thereby ending the divorce process. During this waiting period, the
husband remains financially responsible for the support of his wife.
The divorce initiated by the wife is known as Khul' (if the husband is
not at fault) and requires that the wife return her dowry to end the
marriage because she is the 'contract-breaker'. In the instance of
Talaaq, where the husband is the 'contract-breaker',he must pay the
dowry in full in cases where all or part of it was deferred, or allow
the wife to keep all of it if she has already been given it in full.
In the case that the husband is atfault and the woman is interested in
divorce, she can petition a judge for divorce, with cause. She would
be required to offer proof that her husband had not fulfilled his
marital responsibilities. If the woman had specified certain
conditions that are Islamically accepted in her marriage contract,
which were not met by the husband, she could obtain a conditional
divorce.
The controversy regarding the seeming inequity in divorce lies inthe
idea that men seem to have absolute power in obtaining a divorce. The
interpretation of scholars in the past has been thatif the man
initiates the divorce, then the reconciliation step for appointing an
arbiter from both sides is omitted. This understanding diverges from
the Quranic injunction. Any differencein powers between the husband
and his wife with regard to divorce can be extracted from thefollowing
verse (which means): {...And due to them [i.e., the wives] is similar
to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the
men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority].
AndAllaah is Exalted in Might and Wise.} [Quran: 2:228]
In the following verse, according to existing interpretations,
Allaahgives the reason for the small difference in the verse (which
means): {Men are in charge of women by [right of] what [qualities]
Allaah has given one over the other and what they spend [in support]
from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding
in [the husband's] absence what Allaah would have them guard.} [Quran:
4:34]
Thus, it is clear that there is a 'degree' of difference with regards
to the rights of men and women in divorce, and that the greater right
that men were given is due to their being the leaders and financial
supporters of the household. This, however, does not mean that women
are inferior to men or that they are second-class human beings.
Many of the laws regarding divorce in some Muslim countriesare based
upon Quranic references on the subject. As with all human laws, they
must adapt to dynamic circumstances. Issues pertaining to custody
havebecome controversial. For example, Allaah in the Quran advises the
husband and wife to consult each other in a fair manner regarding
their children'sfuture after divorce, as this verse states (which
means): {…If they both desire weaning through mutual consent from both
of them and consultation, there is no blame upon either of them.}
[Quran: 2:233]
Some jurists stipulate that custody of the child is awarded to the
mother if the child is under a certain age and to the father if the
child is older. There is no Quranic evidence of age being a
determinant for custody. Similarly with regard to the issue of
alimony, in the Quran the ex-husband's financial obligation to his
ex-wife is mandated, but a specific formula for the amount of support
is missing; Allaah Says (what means): {And for divorced women is
maintenance accordingto what is acceptable – a duty on the righteous.}
[Quran 2:241] This is open for negotiation between parties and should
be in accordance with the husband's financial ability.
There has been much distortion and propagation of misunderstanding
about a woman's rights related to marriage and divorce. Only with
self-education and awareness of the Quranic text are men and women
able to learn the truth that Allaah has prescribed and understand the
scholarly interpretations in order that the spirit of justice is
realised. Allaah Says (what means): {And when you divorce women and
they fulfil their term [of their 'Iddah], either keep them according
to reasonable terms or release themaccording to reasonable terms, and
do not keep them, intending harm, to transgress [against them]. And
whoever does that has certainly wronged himself. And do not take the
verses of Allaah in jest. And remember the favour of Allaah upon you
and what has been revealed to you of the Book [i.e., the Quran] and
wisdom [i.e., the Prophet's Sunnah] by which He instructs you. And
fear Allaah and know that Allaah is Knowing of all things.} [Quran
2:231]