Ingratitude towards parents

"Say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them
in terms of honour." [Quran 17:23]
In Islam, it is obligatory for us to show kindness, respect, and
obedience to our parents. The position of parents, and the mutual
obligations and responsibilities, havebeen addressed in Islam in great
detail. In fact, kindness and obedience is so strongly emphasizedthat
Allaah has linked showing gratitude to one's parents with showing
gratitude to Allaah. In the Noble Quran, Almighty Allaah Says (which
means):
"And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail
upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his
weaning: (hear thecommand), "Show gratitude to Me and to your parents:
to Me is (your final) return." [Quran 31:14]
Sadly, we are living in a time where children speaking disrespectfully
to their parents and about their parents, is the norm rather than the
exception. However, Islam places great emphasis on respectful and
considerate behaviour to even our enemies, so to not uphold the
obligations laid down by Allaah to our parents is actually one of the
major sins.
In the Quran
Let's see what the Quran says about parents. "This is the Book; in it
is guidance sure, without doubt, to those who fearAllaah." [Quran
2:02]
Treat parents with honour and speak to them graciously and with humility
Allaah Says (which means):
"Your Lord hath decreed that youworship none but Him, and that you be
kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your
life, say not to them aword of contempt, nor repel them, but address
them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing
of humility, and say: My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they
cherished me in childhood." [Quran 17:23]
Be grateful to parents but do not obey them if they strive to make you
associate anything with Allaah
Allaah also Says (which means):
"...Be grateful to Me and to both your parents; to Me is the eventual
coming. But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things
of which you have no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company
in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of
those who turn to Me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to
Me, then will I informyou of what you did." [Quran 31:15]
These verses make it clear that we must honour our parents, appreciate
their sacrifices and efforts for us, and do our best for them. This is
required regardless of whether they are Muslims or not.
Be good to parents and everyone whom you meet
The Quran states (which means):
"Worship Allaah, and join not anypartners with Him; and do good- to
parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near,
neighbours who are strangers, the companion by yourside, the wayfarer
(ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For Allaah loves not the
arrogant,the vainglorious." [Quran 4:36]
If the Quran tells us to be good to a stranger, then how can we even
think of disrespecting our parents?
Hadeeth
Let's see what Prophet Muhammad said aboutparents in the authentic
Hadeeth (narrations). Almighty Allaah Says (which means):
"Whatsoeverthe Prophet gives you, take it andwhatsoever he forbids
you, refrain from it." [Quran 59:7]
Undutifulness to parents is a major sin
Anas narrated from Prophet Muhammad about the major sins. He (the
Prophet) observed: 'Associating anyone (or anything)with Allaah,
undutifulness to parents, killing a person and falseutterance.'
[Muslim]
One of the dearest deeds to Allaah is being good and dutiful to parents
'Abdullaah Ibn Mas'ood narrated: I asked the Prophet "Which deed is
thedearest to Allaah?" He replied,"To offer the prayers at their early
stated fixed times." I asked,"What is the next (in goodness)?"He
replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents" [Al-Bukhaari]
Being dutiful to parents is one of the keys to enter Paradise
Abu Hurayrah reported Prophet Muhammad as saying: Let him be humbled
into dust; let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust.
It wassaid: O Allaah's Messenger, who ishe? He said: He who
accompanieseither of his parents during their old age or one of them,
but he does not enter Paradise (by beingundutiful to them). [Muslim]
Acts of kindness we can do for our parents after their death
A man of the tribe of Salamah came to ProphetMuhammad and said: 'O
Apostle of Allaah! Is there any kindness left that I can do to my
parents after their death?' He replied: 'Yes, you can invoke blessings
on them, forgiveness for them, fulfill their promises and pledges (to
do righteous deeds), maintain ties with kinfolkfor the mere reason of
being dutiful to them (i.e. parents), andhonour their friends.' [Abu
Daawood]
The High Status given to Mothers
A man came to the Prophet and asked him for permission to fight
Jihaad. The Prophet asked him if he had a mother, and when he replied
affirmatively, he said, "Stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet
(i.e. she is the way leading to it)." [Ahmad]
Summary
Sometimes we may take our parents for granted and overlook their
importance. As Muslims, we should constantly be alert to guard
ourselves from sins; however, are we guarding ourselves from one of
the biggest major sins? Are we honouring and respecting our parents
asper their right? Or are weneglecting one of the dearest deeds to
Allaah?
Right now the choice is ours!
We ask Allaah the Most High, the All-Powerful, to teach us that which
will benefit us, and to benefitus by that which we learn.

Those who openly sin – I

It is from the Sunnah of the Prophet that we take the light of
guidance regarding this crucial issue, which is one that requires
urgent attention due to it being one of the most important matters
that will assist in preserving the Muslim community with regards to
its religion and chastity.
Abu Hurayrah reported: "The Messenger of Allaah said: "Every member of
my nation will be forgiven, except those who expose their wrongdoings.
An example of this is that of a man who commits a sin at night which
Allaah then conceals, but, the next morning, he goes and says (to
people): 'I committed such and such a sin last night' - while Allaah
had kept it secret. During the night Allaah had concealed it, but in
the morning he tore up the cover provided by Allaah Himself."
[Al-Bukhaari & Muslim]
Those who openly expose their sins to others will be deprived from the
forgiveness of Allaah. Imaam An-Nawawi said: "It is permissible to
speak openly about those who openly expose the sins that they commit,
or innovations they propagate."
Such a person would sit in a gathering and say: "I committed such and
such a sin last night" and then give details, whilst the Messenger of
Allaah said: "Refrain from these filthy matters(i.e. sins) that Allaah
has forbidden, and if one of you is tried by committing any of them,
then let him conceal them as Allaah has concealed them for him."
[Al-Haakim]
Why is this? It is because openly exposing one's sins is a way of
slighting the rank of Allaah; it is Allaah who forbade such sins to be
committed and who informedus of this through His Messenger . Thus, the
one who openly exposes his disobedience is expressing indifference
regardingthe legislation of Allaah, the rank of His Messenger and the
feelings of the righteous within the Muslim community. To do this is
therefore nothing except dogged arrogance.
Openly exposing sins and bragging about them is a common practice
amongst people nowadays, and has replaced repenting from them and
concealing them from others. If one sins, he should not even inform a
single person, and must repent and resolve never to commit the same
sin again. One may, however, inform a scholar or a wise friend in
order to seek his help and receive advice on how to refrain from and
resist such sins, as well as to receive guidance on matters that would
protect him from being tempted again and to inform him of deterrents
that would prevent him from falling into the same mistake again.
Another specific permissible reason for one exposing his sin isto do
so in order to seek the Islamic ruling regarding what he has
committed; the proof for thisis the story of the man who had sexual
intercourse with his wife during the daytime one Ramadhaan during the
lifetime ofthe Messenger of Allaah . The man then went and informed
theProphet of what he had done so that he would know what the ruling
was and what he should therefore do regarding this sin. The Prophet
did not condemnhim for telling him what he had done and instructed him
as to what to do for expiation.
Exposing sins and bragging about them encourages others tocommit them
and imitate the sinners. The prohibition of openlycommitting sins is a
great wisdom, because Allaah knows that such acts move others and
motivate them to indulge in the same evil; it also makes sinning more
attractive to people, decorating it in their eyes. This is why openly
exposing one's sins isso perilous.
The Islamic scholars mentioned many rulings related to those who
openly expose theirsins to others, such as the prayer behind such
people to be disliked(i.e., such people may not lead congregational
prayers). Some scholars even went as far as to state that one must
repeat his prayer if he prays behind such a person. Ibn Abu Zayd was
asked whether or not a sinner can lead people during congregational
prayers, to which he answered: "If he is one who openly and
persistently exposes his sins to others, then he may not." This means
that he should not be given the opportunity to lead to begin with, and
if he is already leading, then people must strive to remove and
replace him, because this person is unfit for leadership.
On the other hand, if one openly exposes a sin of his unintentionally
then he is pardoned due to it occurring accidentally. Imaam Maalik was
asked about this and answered: "This is something that anyone could
(accidentally) do … (but) nothing is similar to the evil of he who
persistently and openly exposes his sins."
An issue related to this is that of visiting such a person when he is
sick; visiting a sick Muslim is highly rewardable by Allaah, and it is
a right that a Muslim has over other Muslims, but the Islamic scholars
said regarding the one who openly exposes his sins: "He is not to be
visited, so that this (shunning) acts as a means of making him repent
from such evil, and in order for others to refrain from such an act
when they see how badly he is treated; but, (one mayvisit him) if the
intention is to admonish and advise him."
Another ruling regarding such a person is concerning praying the
funeral prayer over him; the Islamic scholars stated thathe is not to
be prayed over as a deterrent for others, so that they will not follow
in his footsteps. Inthis regard, Imaam Ibn Taymiyyah said: "People
should refrain from praying over the dead person who was knownto
openly expose his sins to others as a means to prevent others from
acting like him." Onlythe common people should pray over such a
person, because he was still a Muslim, but people of piety and
knowledge should be absent.
What is the ruling of backbiting such people and revealing their sins?
Generally, it is recommended to conceal the sinsof others because the
Prophet said: "Whoever covers up the fault of a Muslim, Allaah will
cover up his fault(s) on the Day ofResurrection." [Al-Bukhaari &
Muslim]
The exception to this narration applies only for the one who openly
exposes his sins, as the scholars stated; this is because it becomes
recommended for others to expose him to people so that they can avoid
dealing with him. Concealing the faults ofsuch a person could
encourage him to commit more evil.
As for backbiting such people, Imaam Ahmad said: "He whoopenly exposes
his sins to others has no protection against backbiting (i.e. it is
not prohibited to backbite him)." On the other hand, Imaam An-Nawawi
stated that it is permitted, but only regarding thesins he exposed to
others and nothing else, so that people can be warned against him.
Additionally, if he is likely to take heed as a result of people
boycotting him, then people should boycott him by not talking to him,
not visiting him, not responding to him when he salutes with Salaam
and so on. This is because exposition of sins is a matter taken very
seriously inIslam.
One is obliged Islamically to respond to invitations to wedding feasts
because the Prophet said: "He who does not respond to and honour the
dinner invitation of a wedding has disobeyed Allaah and His
Messenger." Nonetheless, this obligation does not apply to the
invitations of those who openly expose their sins.

Effects of 'Tawheed' (Monotheism) on human life

When an individual pronounces the testimony: "Ash-hadu allaa ilaaha
illallaah wa ash-hadu anna Muhammadar- Rasullullaah" (I testify that
there is no god worthy of worship except Allaah and I testifythat
Muhammad is His Messenger), believing in it and acting upon it, he
experiences a noticeable change in his life.
By understanding who his Lord is as well as the purpose of his
creation, he will be able to achievesuccess in this life and the next.
This success emanates from the following points:
1- A believer in this testimony can never be narrow in outlook. He
believes in Allaah, Who is the Creator of the heavens and the earth,
the Master of the universe and its Sustainer. After this belief, he
does not regard anything in the world as a stranger to himself. He
looks on everything in the universe as belonging to the same Lord he
himself belongs to. Allaah Almighty Says (what means): " Say (O
Muhammad): 'To whom belongs all that is in the heavens and on earth?'
Say: 'To Allaah.'" [Quran 6:12]
His sympathy, love and service are not confined to any particular
sphere or group. His vision is broadened, his intellectual horizon
widens, and his outlook becomes as liberal and asboundless as is the
Kingdom of Allaah . How can this width of vision and breadth of mind
be achieved by an atheist, a polytheist or one who believes in a deity
supposed to possess limited and defective powers like a man ?
2- This belief produces in man the highest degree of self-respect and
self esteem. The believer knows that Allaah Alone is the Possessor of
all power, and that none besides Him can benefit or harm a person, or
provide for his needs, or give and take away life or wield authority
or influence. This convictionmakes him indifferent to,independent on,
and fearless of all powers other than those of Allaah. He never bows
hishead in homage to any of Allaah's creatures, nor does he stretch
out his hand before anyone else.He is not overawed by anybody's
greatness. Thisattitude of mind cannot be produced by any other belief
.
3- Along with self-respect, this belief also generates in man a sense
of modesty and humbleness. It makes himunostentatious and
unpretending. A believer never becomes proud, haughty or arrogant.
Theboisterous pride of power, wealth and worthcan have no room in his
heart, because he knows that whatever he possesses has been given to
him by Allaah, and thatAllaah can take away just as He can give. In
contrast to this, an unbeliever, when he achieves some worldly merit,
becomes proud and conceited because he believes that his merit is due
to his own worth. In the same way, pride and self-conceit are a
necessary outcomes and concomitants of 'Shirk' (association of others
with Allaah in worship), because a polytheist believes that he has a
particular relation with deities, which does not exist between them
and other people .
4- This belief makes man virtuous and upright. He has the conviction
that there is no other means of success and salvation for him except
purity of soul and righteousness ofbehavior. He has perfect faith in
Allaah Who is Above all needs, is related to none and is absolutely
Just. This belief creates in him the consciousness that unlesshe lives
rightly and acts justly, he cannot succeed.No influence or underhand
activity can save him from ruin.
As to those who do not believe that there is any Being having power
overthem, to whom they should be responsible fortheir good or bad
actions; therefore, they consider themselves independent to act in
whatever way they like. Their own fancies become their gods and they
live like slaves of their wishes and desires. Allaah states in the
Quran(what means):
" Have you seen he who has takenas his god his [own] desire, and
Allaah, knowing (him as such), left him astray, and has set a seal
upon his hearing and his heart, and put over his vision a veil? So who
will guide him after Allaah? Will you not then remember?" [Quran
45:23]
5- The believer never becomes despondent. He has a firm faith in
Allaah Who is The Master of all the treasures of the earthand the
heavens, Whose grace and bounty have no limit and Whose power is
infinite. This faith imparts to his heart extraordinary consolation,
fills it with satisfaction and keeps it filled with hope. Although he
may be met with rejection from all sides in this world, faith in and
dependence on Allaah never leave him, and on that strength he goes on
struggling. Such profound confidence canresult from no other belief
than belief in Allaah Alone.
Atheists have small hearts; in the sense that they depend on limited
abilities; therefore, in times of trouble they are soon overwhelmed by
despair and, frequently, they commit suicide .
The testimony of Prof. Joad is also very explicit on this point. He
writes about the West:
" For the first time in history there is coming tomaturity a
generation of men and women who have no religion, and feelno need for
one. They are content to ignore it. Also they are very unhappy, and
the suiciderate is abnormally high." [C. E. M. Joad. The Present and
Future of Religion, quoted by Sir Arnold Lunn., And Yet So New,
London, 1958, p. 228]
As to the world of Islam, let the views of a non-Muslim historian,
notin any way being sympathetic to Islam, be read with profit:
" In this uncompromising monotheism, with its simple and enthusiastic
faith in the supreme rule of a transcendent being, lies the chief
strength of Islam. Its adherents enjoya consciousness of contentment
and resignation unknown among followers of most creeds." [Suicide Is
Rare in Muslim Lands] (Phillip K. Hitti, History of the Arabs, 1951,
p.129)
6- This testimony of faith inspires bravery in man. There are two
things which make a man cowardly: (a) fear of death and love of
safety, and (b) the idea that there is someone else besides Allaah who
can take away life, and that man- by adopting certaindevices- can ward
off death. Belief in 'Laa ilaaha illallaah'' blocks and drives away
both these ideas. The first ideagoes out of his mind because he knows
that his life and his property and everything else reallybelong to
Allaah, and he becomes ready to sacrifice his all for the pleasure of
Allaah. He gets rid of the second idea because he knows that no
weapon, no man or animal has the power of taking away his life; Allaah
alone has the power to do so. A time has been ordained for him, and
all the forces of the world combined cannot take away anyone's life
before that time .
It is for this reason that no one is braver than theone who has faith
in Allaah. Nothing can daunt him: not even the strongest tempest of
adversity and the mightiest of armies .
7- The belief in 'Laa ilaaha illallaah' creates an attitude of peace
and contentment, purges the mind of jealousy, envy and greed, and
keeps away the temptations of resorting to base and unfair means for
achieving success. The believer understands thatwealth is in Allaah's
hands, and He apportionsit out as He Wills; that honor, power,
reputationand authority - everything - is also subjected to His Will,
and He bestows them as He Wills; and that man's dutyis only to
endeavor and to struggle fairly.

Dought & clear,- Ruling on dealing with mortgages in a non-Muslim country.

Perhaps my question hasbeen asked many times before. It is about
mortgages in non-Muslim countries. We live in a western society and we
live in rented accommodation so as to avoid riba. Recently we found
out that there are no houses for rent, and 96% of the market is based
on mortgages. All houses are offered for sale only.Some of them told
me that in this situation it is permissible for me to buy a house by
means ofa mortgage and, moreover, it is possible to get the mortgage
in the name of family insurance, so that the individual does not pay
riba or a mortgage; rather it is paid by the insurance. Is it
permissible to get a mortgage in the name ofthe family insurance, in
such a way that you and other trustees or borrowers are not dealing
directly with thebank and the lawyer takes care of dealing with the
mortgage on your behalf?
I hope that you can advise me as to whether that is permissible or not.
Praise be to Allaah.
A mortgage is a haraam riba-based transaction that is based on a loan
with interest in which the owner of the money takes as collateral the
property for the purchase of which the borrower is taking out the
loan, until the debt has been paid off along with the interest (riba).
If the debtor is late in making payments, then the owner of the money
is entitled to sell the property and take back his money.
This transaction is offered by riba-based banks or real estate
mortgage companies, and this transaction is done when the one whowants
to buy a house chooses a house, then hegoes to the mortgage company –
or to the riba-based bank – to ask them to buy that house and he
agrees to pay themoney in instalments, plus the interest that hasbeen
agreed upon. A representative of the company or bank meets with the
owner of the house and the third party, namely the borrower, and the
price of the house is paid in full to the owner. In some cases the
borrowerpays part of the price (down payment). And the contract is
signed with the borrower for the money paid to the owner of the house
plus the interest. The house ismortgaged to the mortgage company or
bank that pays the money to the owner of the house. If the borrower
fails to pay any instalment on his loan, the mortgage company has the
right tosell the house in order toget back the rest of the money that
it is owed bythe borrower.
This transaction clearly comes under the heading of blatant riba.
Allah, may He be exalted,has forbidden riba and has issued a warning
to those who consume it ofa severe punishment as He, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Those who eat Riba (usury) will not stand (on the Day of
Resurrection) except likethe standing of a person beaten by Shaytaan
(Satan) leading him to insanity. That is because they say: "Trading is
onlylike Riba (usury)," whereas Allah has permitted trading and
forbidden Riba (usury). So whosoever receives an admonition from his
Lord and stops eating Riba (usury) shall not be punished for the past;
his case is for Allah (to judge); but whoever returns (to Riba
(usury)), such are the dwellers of the Fire - they will abide therein"
[al-Baqarah 2:275].
This riba-based transaction is not permissible either in Muslim
countries or non-Muslim countries; it is not permissible in order to
acquire houses or stores.
Some contemporary scholars have permitted this riba-based transaction
if it is in a non-Muslim country and it is done in order to acquire a
house in which to live. This permission is attributed to the Hanafi
madhhab, and some evidence is quoted for it. But many scholars have
challengedthis fatwa, including Shaykh Salaah as-Saawi (may Allah
preserve him)in his book Waqafaat Haadi'ah ma'a Fatwa Ibaahat
al-Qurood al-Ribawiyyah li Tamweel Shira' al-Masaakin fi'l-Mujtama'aat
al-Gharbiyyah.