Kindness to children

Abu Hurayrah narrated: "Oncethe Prophet and I went out during the day.
While on the journey, he did not talk to meand I did not talk to him.
When we reached the market of Bani Qaynuqaa', he sat in the front-yard
of Faatimah's house and asked: ' Is Luka' home? (i.e., 'the small boy'
- his grandson Al-Hasan)' But Faatimah kept the boy inside for a
while. I thought she was either changing his clothes or giving him a
bath. After a while, the boy came out running and the Prophet embraced
him and kissed him on the mouth; then he said: 'O Allaah! Love him,
and love whoever loves him.'" [Al-Bukhaari& Muslim] In other
narrations of this incident, Al-Hasan came out walking quickly and
jumped into the lap of the Prophet who had his arms extended towards
him, and who then hugged and kissed him.
Abu Hurayrah said: "After I heard the Prophet saying this,there was
nobody that I loved more than Al-Hasan." He also said: "It is never
that I saw Al-Hasan after having heard this, except that I cried."
The saying of Abu Hurayrah : "…He did not talk to me…" was probably
due to the Prophet being busy thinking about something, or being
inspired, or receiving revelation at the time.
As for his saying: "…and I did not talk to him…" is due to him
glorifying and honouring the Prophet ; this was the practice of the
Companions whenever they would see the Prophet silent.
This narration is a reflection of how great the Prophet was, due to
his coming to visit this child, which illustrated the love and mercy
that he had for him. This was despite the great responsibilities he
had as a leader of the entire Nation and the fact that he was busy
being a guardian over their affairs, the custodian of their treasury,
or Bayt Al-Maal, the dispatcher of the Muslim armies and the teacher
and preacher to all the Muslims. Moreover, he was also receiving
revelation from his Lord and contemplating over what happened to the
previous nations who disobeyed Him.
Despite all this, he did not forget in the midst of all these tasks
and responsibilities to check on his grandchild and try to bring joy
to him, as well as checking on his daughter and son-in-law. He sat in
front of the house waiting for his grandchild to come out, and
extended his arms towards him when he did so; he hugged and kissed
him, and this love wasreflected and reciprocated by the reaction of
the child who walked quickly and jumped into the lap of the Prophet .
Another narration that reflects the kindness that the Prophet had for
children is that which is narrated by Anas Ibn Maalik who said: "I
never saw anyone kinder and more merciful with children than the
Prophet . His son, Ibraaheem, would breastfeed from a woman in the
'Awaali area of Madeenah; he used to go and visit him and we would
accompany him. He used to enter the house in which Ibraaheem was and
find him with some splashes of the milk that he had drunk, on his
face; he would pick him up and kiss him." 'Amr who was one of the
Companions accompanying the Prophet in his visits, said: "After the
death of Ibraaheem, the Prophet said: 'Ibraaheem is my son and he died
whilst in the age of breastfeeding; he will have two women
breastfeeding him in Paradise until he concludes the age of
breastfeeding.' " [Muslim]
This narration reflects the noble manners of the Prophet and his
kindness to children. It also highlights the virtue of being merciful
with children and kissing them.
Ibraaheem died when he wassixteen or seventeen months old,which is why
the Prophet saidthat he died whilst at the age of breastfeeding,
because the complete breastfeeding term is usually two full years, as
mentioned in the Quran.
Many of those who are busy with worldly affairs or matters related to
the religion are thereby deprived of other matters; they are busy
teaching or leading others, or attaining wealth, and are thereby
deprived from kissingtheir children, playing with them,and cultivating
them properly. Nomatter how busy a person claimsto be, it is
impossible that he is busier than the Prophet was, who had time for
this despite his numerous and great responsibilities. The propagators
of Islaam, and others in general, have a duty towards their families
and kinsfolk which they must fulfil, despite their responsibilities.
A child has a very special position in the Islamic community, and
heshould get the required attentionand care which will make him grow
up balanced and well mannered.
Unlike what some may believe, possessing manhood, dignity andhonour
does not contradict caring for and playing with children. This is
reflected in the narration of Abu Hurayrah who said: "The Prophet
kissed Al-Hasan once while Al-Aqra' Ibn Haabis was sitting with him,
so Al-Aqra' said, `I haveten children; never did I kiss any of them.`
The Prophet therefore looked at him and said: 'Allaah will not be
merciful with the one who is not merciful to others. ' " [Al-Bukhaari]
A person who works as a preacher in a prison in a western country said
that an imprisoned drug addict once informed him that he would always
stub out his cigarette on his child's body, until he killed the child.
This is truly an ugly face of the west thatis reflected by this story;
what kind of civilisation do they have? What benefit did they gain
from their technology when their communities are overwhelmed with
immorality, lack of faith, and children who are murdered and tortured
like animals? This has become such a widespread phenomenon that there
are now designated telephone numbers for children to call and seek
help and protection if their parents harm or torture them.
But who are these children seeking protection from? It is from their
own parents, who torture them in such a barbaric manner that it
shatters the feelings of those who only get to hear about it.
A true believer should take lessons from the Names of Allaah; one of
His Names is the All-Merciful, so a believer should strive to be
merciful. Another of His Names is the Compassionate, so a believer
should work hard tobe compassionate and kind to others, especially his
children.
The father's love for his children should not be buried under his load
of work, or his numerous tasks; on the contrary, he should express his
love and kindness to them and strive to cultivate them

How children receive Ramadhaan

looked up at Tessniem."OK, so what are we going to do this Ramadhaan?"
Her cheerful face lit up."Paint the windows." Looking at my pretty
white sheers I forced my head to nod. "OK, what else do we do during
Ramadhaan?" Omar jumped off the couch…"Not eat, ah, I mean
fast.""That's right, we fast for a whole month," said Tessniem, gently
wrapping her arms around her chest and hugging her self. "I love
Ramadhaan, it's fun." Omar said, "Yea, it's great, we get to choose
whatever we want to break our fast with."
I could tell by his eyes that he was remembering steaming corn dogs
out of the oven dipped in ketchup with a glass of chocolate milk. "And
what makes that food taste so especially good?" I asked sitting upon
the couch. Omar raised his hand high into the air like he was in
class. "I know, I know," he screamed." Omar you can put your hand
down, we aren't in class now." Omar lowered his arm and smiled
"because we are doing it for Allaah and when we eat we remember
Allaah."
Tessniem jumped in,"and the poor people who don't have any food like
the ones in Somailia and Ba…" Omar turned toher, "you mean Bosnia ."
Tessniem looked up at Omar "yea Bas, that placeOmar said." Omar's head
lowered and his mouth's edges dipped down. Taking his hand. "What's
wrong Omar?" "I just remembered the stories about the Bosnians eating
grass because there was nothing to eat during the war." Breathing
deep, "yea, there is a lot to be thankful for." Tessniem walked up to
me with her shoulder raised close to her ears. "Remember that picture
of the Somalibaby on the ground and the vulture waiting for him to
die?" I did not even have to think back, the picture is forever seared
in my memory.
Placing my arms around Tessniem, I brought her close to me on the
couch.Omar scooted over to me and hugged my other arm. Looking at the
floor,he leaned his cheek against my arm. "Mama?"he whispered. I made
a soft hmm to let him knowI was listening. "Can we send them some
money so they can buy food?" Sitting up I smiled, "Yes, every year we
give them Zakaat."
Rubbing his eyes I could see his wheels spinning in his brain, got up
and ran to his bedroom. I thought for a minute he was going off to
cry. I could hear the closet door open and the soundof jingling down
the hallway. He quickly turned the corner and stopped abruptly in
frontof me holding out a plastic spice container filled with paper
riyals and change. With his facesolemn he moved it closer to me so I
could take it from him. "Omar, what do you want me to do with it?"
With puzzledexpression he looked at me like I was seriously confused.
"Mom… It's for the poor people, who don't have any food."
Taking the plastic container, I started slowly unscrewing the red lid.
"And how much do you want to give to them?" Omar scrunched up his face
and held out his right hand upward as if to say 'you still don't get
it?' He sighed heavily and took the container and dumped it onto my
lap. "All of it Mom!" I thought I should get into the concept of
percentages for Zakaat, but it just didn't seem appropriate.
Looking down on my lap,I knew he had been saving his money for a
Spiderman at Wonder World. I was getting ready to tell him about the
reward from Allaah when Tessniem appearedin the living room with her
spice container bank.Smiling she untwisted the red lid and dumped the
money on my lap too.Too touched for words, I hugged them. Looking
atthe money, Tessniem laid her hand on her cheek thinking. Softly she
whispered, "maybe it willbuy enough food for thatlittle boy so he can
get upand the vulture won't eathim."
Of course the most logicalthing to tell her is that the picture was
taken over two years ago and most probably the child never got up and
was never buried. But only Allaah knows what happened, and this little
girl needed to know that by the mercy she receivesfrom Allaah there
was

Dought & clear - , Can zihaar occur beforeconsummation of the marriage? What is the ruling on one who divorced his wife by zihaar if he has intercourse with his wifebefore offering expiation?.

I am a man who has been married for about two months. One week before
my wedding, oneof my female relatives tried to hurt me by saying
something about me to my wife to cause trouble for me. I heard about
this from one of my sisters and I said: "Mywife is as haraam to me as
my mother; I shall not consummate the marriage with her until after I
harm her as she tried to harm me." My sister tried to calm me down and
my brother came to me and spoke tome. Then I calmed down and forgot
about the matter until a while ago,when my wife and I were speaking
about zihaar. Please note that Iswore the oath when I was married, but
I had not yet consummated the marriage. Now I am uncertain about my
situation. I asked a shaykh from Yemen and he gave me an answer based
on the Ithna 'Ashari madhhab! He toldme that it is regarded as an oath
and expiation must be offered for it, but I am not sure about the
fatwa of the Ithna 'Ashari madhhab.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
If a man states that his wife is as haraam to him as his mother is or
another mahram womanwho is permanently forbidden to him, then he has
uttered a great evil and spoken falsehood, and he comesunder the
rulings that result from zihaar. His wife remains haraam to him until
he has fasted for two consecutive months; if he is not able to do that
because of a legitimate shar'i reason, then he must feed sixty poor
persons.
For zihaar to take place, it is not stipulated that he should have
consummated the marriage with his wife; it is sufficient for him
merely to have done the marriage contract with her for these rulings
to come into effect.
Secondly:
What appears to us to bethe case is that what yousaid comes under the
heading of conditional zihaar. Because you decided not to cause harm
to that woman, then you come under the rulings on zihaar. So you have
to repent from saying that and your wife remains haraam to you until
you have offered the expiation forzihaar.
The scholars of the Standing Committee were asked:
There was an argument between my father and my oldest brother, and my
oldest brother said something, which was: "My wife is as haraam to me
as my mother." That was in a moment of anger. My brother has done the
marriage contract with this wife of his but he has not consummated the
marriage with her and there has not been any wedding party until now.
I hope that you canadvise me.
They replied:
If what is mentioned about your brother declaring his wife to be
haraam to himself is correct, and that happened after he did the
marriage contract with his wife, then he has committed a major sin and
he has to offer expiation for zihaar before he can touch his wife,
whether he said that before consummating the marriage with her or
after. Expiation for zihaar is freeing a believing slave. If that is
not possible, then he must fast for two consecutive months. If he is
not able to do that, then he should feed sixtypoor persons, giving
thirty saa's of wheat, half a saa' for each poor person.
Shaykh Ibraaheem ibn Muhammad Aal ash-Shaykh; Shaykh 'Abdar-Razzaaq
'Afeefi; Shaykh 'Abdullah ibn Ghadyaan; Shaykh 'Abdullah ibn Munayyi'
End quote from Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Da'imah, 20/277
If you had consummatedthe marriage with your wife – as appears to be
the case – then you haveto stop being intimate with her immediately;
it is not permissible for you to continue being intimate with her
beforeyou have offered expiation for zihaar.
The scholars of the Standing Committee said:
With regard to what youhave done of intercourse before offering
expiation as a result of ignorance before starting to fast, you do not
owe any penalty for that because you had the excuse of ignorance. But
now you must avoid having intercourse until you have completed the
fasting.
Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeez Aal ash-Shaykh, Shaykh 'Abdullah ibn Ghadyaan.
Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan, Shaykh BakrAbu Zayd
End quote from Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa'imah, 20/322
Thirdly:
It is not permissible for aMuslim to follow the Shi'i (Ithna 'Ashari)
madhhab with regard tobasic issues or minor matters, or to be happy if
they are in agreement with Ahl as-Sunnah (concerning some issue),just
as it does not matterif they differ from us. It is not permissible
for you to consult one who will advise you in accordance with their
madhhab or give you a fatwa based on their opinions.

Dought & clear - , Putting one’s trust in Allah and taking measures.

about the issue of putting one's trust in Allah (tawakkul) and taking
measures; the trust of some of the righteous is like that of Maryam,
to whom summer fruits used to come in the winter and vice versa
without her taking any measures; rather she focused completely on
worship. Please advise us about that, may Allah bless you.
Praise be to Allaah.
Putting one's trust in Allah involves two things:
(i) Depending on Allah and believing that He is the One
Who causes measures to be effective; His decree comes to pass; He has
decreed all things, counted them out and ordained them, may He be
glorified and exalted.
(ii) Taking appropriate measures; putting one's trust in
Allah does not mean refraining from taking measures; rather part of
putting one's trust in Allah is taking appropriate measures and
striving to do so. The one who refrains from doing so has gone against
the laws and decree of Allah. Allah hascommanded us to take
appropriate measures and He encourages us to do so; He commanded His
Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) to do that.
So it is not permissible for the believer to refrain from taking
appropriate measures; in fact he is not truly putting his trust in
Allah unless he takes appropriate measures. Hence it is prescribed to
get married in order to have a child, and it is enjoined to have
intercourse. If someone were to say: I shall not get married and I
shall wait to have a child without getting married,he would be
regarded asinsane; this is not the way of those who are wise and
rational. Similarly, he should not sit in his house or in the mosque
seeking charity and waiting for provision to come to him; rather he
should strive hard and work to seek to earn halaal provision.
Maryam (may Allah have mercy on her) did not forgo taking measures.
Allah said to her (interpretation of the meaning): "And shake the
trunk of date-palm towards you, it will let fall fresh ripe-dates upon
you" [Maryam 19:25]. So she shook the palm tree and took appropriate
measures until the dates fell. Her action is not contrary to taking
measures and thefact that she found provision with her and that Allah
honoured her and gave her some provision does not indicate that she
refrained from taking appropriate measures; rather she devoted herself
to worship and also took appropriate measures.
If Allah bestows upon some of His close friends some miracles
(karaamaat), this is by His grace and bounty, but that does not
indicate that we should forgo taking appropriate measures. Itis proven
that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
"Strive to do that which will benefit you and seek the help ofAllaah,
and do not feel helpless." Narrated by Muslim, 2664. And Allah, may He
be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): "You
(Alone) we worship, and You (Alone) we ask for help (for each and
everything)" [al-Faatihah 1:5].
Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah havemercy on him).
Fataawa Noor 'ala