Muslim Marriage Stories: How to stay happily married? Secrets of Happy Married Couples

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They shared
everything. They talked about everything. They kept no secrets
fromeach other except that the little old woman had a shoebox in the
top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or
ask her about.
For all of these years, he never thought about the shoebox, but one
day thelittle old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would
not recover. Intrying to sort out their affairs, the little old man
took down the shoebox and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed
that it was time that he should know what was inthe shoebox.
When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money
totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be
married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy
marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with
you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two
precious dolls were in the shoebox. She had only been angry with him
two times in all thoseyears of living and loving. He almost burst with
happiness "Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about
all of this money? Where did it come from?" "Oh," the little old woman
said,"That's the money I madefrom selling the dolls."

Story - Novel The Fever CHAPTER 6

I arrived to a house filled with noise and packed with cars in the driveway.
The house had not been hard to find, not too far from my house
actually. I barely squeezed the Mercedes into the driveway and walked
up to the door and rang the doorbell. I was greeted by three different
guys, all from work, who welcomed me into the house. I came in and sat
down in a sofa as Binky, they guy whose shift I picked up the other
day, brought me a beer.
"Thanks," I responded as I cracked open the can.
"Don't thank me yet, I stillhave to take your money later," he said as
he winked at me. "I'm goingto make you want to get your own beer
pretty soon." I smiled at him.
Soon enough, the poker games began. I teamed up with Mark, the host of
the party, until I learned how to play. I picked it up easy enough. We
weren't playing for cash for the first few rounds anyways.
"You guys ready to play?"Mark asked.
"Yeah, let's go."
"Do you wanna play or just watch?" Mark asked me.
"I'll play I suppose."
"Okay, everyone buy in!"
Everyone threw twenty dollars into the center of the table. I grabbed
a twenty out of my wallet and tossed it in, telling myself I was going
to stop as soon as I started losing money.
Mark dealt a stack of chips to everyone. I started as small blind so I
was already being forcedto throw chips into the middle of the table,
next to the cash. Twenty bucksdidn't seem like much, but we had two
tables going and there were about seven to eight guys per table. Binky
passed around another round of beers for everyone.
"Aww thanks, Binky," I said as he set mine down next to my right hand.
"What did I tell you aboutthanking me?" he asked, smiling.
"Hey, the way I look at it, you still owe me from taking your shift
the other day," I joked back. He laughed and sat downafter everyone
was served.
The first game went fairlyquick. I was playing conservatively and
waiting for opportune times to gamble. I was slowly bleeding chips,
but I stayed in while other people started to get weeded out and went
to go watch Mark's four-hundred plus channels on cable.
Eventually two tables became one, and one became half a table. There
were five of us left and even though I wasn'tleading, I was still
holding on.
Five left, four, three, two... I was one of two left in the game.
Then I took my opportunity and struck.
I definitely had the betterhand, and I pushed all in, acting as if I
just wanted to join the rest of the guys and watch cable. Binky was
buying into my act, and matched my gamble.
"Holy crap, you just beat me. You have a full house."
"Is that what it is called? Ididn't know I just figuredit might be
something," I lied. I had easily figured this game out. I was just
playing an act."Beginner's luck."
"Yeah, beginner's luck," Binky replied. "Hey, I'm kind of sick of
playing; we've been going at it for over three hours. Since you did so
good foryour first time, wanna split the pot? The game ison and I
really wanted to watch."
"Yeah, that's fine by me. Ikind of wanted to watch the game too."
"Alright, let me count up the cash and I'll split it down the middle."
"Sounds good to me."
And with that, I ended the night with one-hundred thirty more dollars
that I had spent that night. It was free. It was easy.
I walked back to grab another beer and headedover to the sofa to watch
the game with the guys: University of Illinois versus University of
Wisconsin- Big Ten game.I casually posed my question to Mark.
"Hey Mark, when are you planning on hosting another poker night? This
was kind of fun tonight."
"There is usually one every Saturday night. We switch houses though.
This Saturday it was my turn. Next week we will be over at Mike's."
"Cool. Well I'm going to take off and get home before the wife gets
too worried about me."
"Alright. See you at Mike's and at work!"
"Yup. See you later."
And with that, I drove home, wondering what I could do with the money.

The Heart Softeners -, Dought & clear - , How to be successful in life.

How to obtain success and prosperity in this world and hereafter.What
kind of success or prosperity that islam want the ummah islam gain in
thisworld.
Praise be to Allaah.
Peace of mind, contentment, happiness and freedom from worries and
anxiety… these are what everyonewants, and these are theways in which
people can have a good life andfind complete happiness and joy. There
are religious means of achieving that, and natural and practical
means, but no one can combine all of them except the believers;
although other people may achieve some of them, they will miss out on
others.
There follows a summaryof the means of achieving this aim for which
everyone is striving. In some cases, those who achieve manyof them
will live a joyful life and a good life; in other cases, those who
fail to achieve all of them will live a life of misery and hardship.
And there are others which are in between, according to what the means
he is able to attain. These means include the following:
1 – Faith and righteous deeds:
This is the greatest and most fundamental of means. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or
she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will
give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful
provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to
the best ofwhat they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)"
[al-Nahl 16:97]
Allaah tells us and promises us that whoever combines faith with
righteous deeds will have a good life anda good reward in this world
and in the Hereafter.
The reason for that is clear: those who believe in Allaah – with
sincere faith that motivates them to do righteous deeds that change
hearts and attitudes and guides them to the straight path in this
world and the Hereafter – follow principles and guidelines by means of
which they deal with everything that happensto them, be it the causes
of happiness and excitement or the causesof anxiety, worry and grief.
They deal with the things that they like by accepting them and giving
thanks for them, and using them in good ways. When they deal with them
in this manner, that creates in them a sense of excitement and the
hopethat it will continue and that they will be rewarded for their
gratitude, which is moreimportant than the goodthings that happen to
them. And they deal withbad things, worries and distress by resisting
those that they can resist, alleviating those that they can alleviate,
and bearing with goodlypatience those that they cannot avoid. Thus as
a result of the bad things they gain a lot of benefits, experience,
strength, patience and hope of reward, which are more important and
which diminish the hardships they have undergone and replace them with
happiness and hope for the bountyand reward of Allaah. The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) expressed this in a saheeh
hadeeth in which he said: "How wonderful is the situation of the
believer,for all his affairs are good. If something goodhappens to
him, he givesthanks for it and that is good for him; if something bad
happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.
This does not apply to anyone but the believer." (Narrated by Muslim,
no. 2999).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us that
the believer is always gaining and the reward for his deeds is always
multiplying, no matter what happens to him, good or bad.
2 – Being kind to people in word and deed, and all kinds of doing
good. This is one of the means of removing worry, distress and
anxiety. By this means Allaah wards off worries and distress from
righteous and immoral like, but the believer has the greater share of
that, and is distinguished by the factthat his kindness to others
stems from sincerity and the hope ofreward, so Allaah makes it easy
for him to be kindto others because of the hope that this will bring
good things and ward off bad things, by meansof his sincerity and
hopeof reward. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"There is no good in most of their secret talks save (in) him who
ordersSadaqah (charity in Allaah's Cause), or Ma'roof (Islamic
Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allaah has
ordained), or conciliation between mankind; and he who does this,
seeking the good Pleasure of Allaah, We shall give him a great reward"
[al-Nisa' 4:114]
Part of that great reward is relief from worry, distress, troubles, etc.
3 – Another of the meansof warding off anxiety that stems from nervous
tension and being preoccupied with disturbing thoughts is tooccupy
oneself with good deeds or seeking beneficial knowledge, for that will
distract one from dwelling on the matters that are causing anxiety. In
this way a person may forget aboutthe things that are making him
worried anddistressed, and he may become happy and moreenergetic. This
is another means that believers and others have in common, but
thebeliever is distinguished by his faith, sincerity andhope of reward
when heoccupies himself with that knowledge which he is learning or
teaching, or with the good deeds that he is doing.
The work with which he occupies himself should be something that he
likes and enjoys, for thatis more likely to producethe desired
results. And Allaah knows best.
4 – Another thing that may ward off worry and anxiety is focusing all
one's thoughts of the present day, and not worrying about the future
or grieving about the past. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) sought refuge with Allaah from worry and regret,
from regret for things in the past which one cannot put right or
change, and worry which may come because of fear for the future. So
one should focus only on the present day, and focus one's efforts on
getting things right today. For if a person is focused on that, this
means that he will do things properly and forget about worry and
regret. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said a du'aa' or taught a du'aa' to his ummah, as well as urging them
to seek the help of Allaah and hope for His bounty, he was also urging
them to strive to attain the thing they were praying for through their
own efforts and to forget about the thing which they were praying
would be warded off from them. Because du'aa' (supplication) must be
accompanied byaction. So a person must strive to attain that which
will benefit him inworldly and spiritual terms, and ask his Lord to
make his efforts successful, and he shouldseek His help in that, as
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Strive
for that which will benefit you and seek thehelp of Allaah, and do not
be helpless. If anything (bad) happens to you, do not say, 'If only I
had done such-and-such, then such-and-such would have happened.'
Rather you should say, 'QaddaraAllaah wa ma sha'a fa'ala(Allaah
decrees, and what He wills He does),' for (the words) 'If only' open
the door to the Shaytaan." (Narrated by Muslim). The Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) connected the matter of striving
to achieve good things with the matter of seeking the help of Allaah
and not giving in to feelings of helplessness which are a harmful kind
of laziness, and with the matter of accepting things in the past which
are over and done with, and acknowledging that the will and decree of
Allaahwill inevitably come to pass. He described matters as being of
two types:
1 – Matters which a person may strive to achieve or to achieve
whatever he can of them, or to ward them off or alleviate them. In
such cases a person muststrive and make the effort, and also seek the
help of Allaah.
2 – Matters where such isnot possible, so he must have peace of mind,
accept them and submit to Allaah's will.
Undoubtedly paying attention to this principle will bring happiness
and relieve worry and distress.
5 – One of the greatest means of feeling contentand relaxed and of
acquiring peace of mind is to remember Allaah a great deal (dhikr).
That has a great effect in bringing contentment and peace of mind, and
relieving worry and distress. Allaah says:
"verily, in the remembrance of Allaah do hearts find rest"
[al-Ra'd 13:28]
Remembering Allaah (dhikr) has a great effectin achieving this aim
because it has a special influence and because ofthe hope that it
brings of reward.
6 – Another of the meansof bringing happiness and relieving worry and
distress is striving to eliminate the things thatcause worry and to
achieve the things that bring happiness. That may be done by
forgetting about bad things in the past which cannot be changed, and
realizing that dwelling on them is a waste of time. So a person must
strive to stop himself from thinking of that, and also strive to stop
himself from feeling anxious about the futureand the things that he
may imagine of poverty, fear and other bad things that he thinks may
happen to him in the future. He should realize that the future is
something unknown, he cannot know what goodor bad things are going to
happen to him. That isin the hand of the Almighty, the Most Wise, and
all that His slaves can do is to strive to attain the good things and
to ward off the bad things. A person should realize that if he diverts
his thoughts from worrying about his future and puts his trust in his
Lord to take care of his situation, and putshis mind at rest
concerning that, if he does that, then his heart will be at peace and
his situation will improve and he will be relieved of worry and
anxiety.
One of the most effectiveways of dealing with worries about the
futureis to recite this du'aa' which the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) used to recite:
"Allaahumma aslih li deeni alladhi huwa 'ismatu amri, wa aslih li
dunyaaya allati fiha ma'aashi, wa aslih li aakhirati allati ilayha
ma'aadi, waj'al al-hayaata ziyaadatan li fi kulli khayr, wa'l-mawta
raahatan li min kulli sharr (O Allaah, correct my religious commitment
which is the foundation of my life, and correct my worldly affairs in
which is my livelihood, and grant me good in the Hereafter to which is
my return. Make my life a means of accumulating good, and make death a
respite for me from all evil)." (Narrated by Muslim, 2720).
And he said, "Allaahumma rahmatakaarju fa la takilni ila nafsi tarfata
'aynin wa aslih li sha'ni kullahu, laa ilaahailla anta (O Allaah, for
Your mercy I hope, so donot abandon me to myself even for a moment.
And correct all my affairs. There is no god but You)." (Narratedby Abu
Dawood with a saheeh isnaad, no. 5090; classed as hasan by al-Albaani
in Saheeh al-Kalim al-Tayyib, p. 49).
If a person utters these du'aa's, which ask that his spiritual and
worldly affairs may be set right or corrected, with proper presence of
mindand sincerity of intention, whilst strivingto achieve that, Allaah
will grant him what he has prayed for, hoped for and striven for, and
He will turn his worry into joy and happiness.
7 – If a person experiences anxiety and distress because of a
disaster, then one of the most effective means of relieving himself of
that is to think of the worst scenario to which that may lead, and try
to accept that. When he hasdone that, then he should try to alleviate
it as much as possible. By means of this acceptanceand these efforts,
he willrelieve himself of his worries and distress, andinstead of
worrying he will strive to bring aboutgood things and to deal with
whatever he can of the bad things. If he is faced with things that
cause fear or the possibility of sickness or poverty, then he should
deal with that by striving to make himself accept that, or something
even worse, with contentment, because by making himself accept the
worst-case scenario, he lessens the impact of thething and makes it
seem less terrible, especially if he occupies himself withefforts to
ward it off as much as he can. Thus as well as striving to achieve
something goodwhich will distract him from his worries about calamity,
he will also renew his strength to resist bad things, and put his
trust and reliancein Allaah. Undoubtedly these matters are of great
benefit in attaining happiness and peace of mind, as well asbringing
the hope of reward in this world andin the Hereafter. This is
something which is well known from the experience of many whohave
tried it.
8 – Steadfastness of heart and not being disturbed about the imaginary
things that bad thoughts may bring to mind. For when a person gives in
to his imagination and lets his mind be disturbed by these thoughts,
such as fear of disease and the like, or anger and confusion stirred
up by some grievous matter, orthe expectation of bad things and the
loss of good things, that will fill him with worries, distress, mental
and physical illness and nervous breakdowns, which will have a bad
effect on him and which causes a great deal of harm, as many people
have seen. But when a person depends on Allaah and puts his trust in
Him, and does not give in to his imagination or let bad thoughts
overwhelm him, and he relies on Allaah and has hope of His bounty,
that wards off his worries and distress, and relieves himof a great
deal of mentaland physical sickness. It gives indescribable strength,
comfort and happiness to the heart. How many hospitals are filled with
the mentally sick victims of illusions and harmful imagination; how
often have these things had aneffect upon the hearts ofmany strong
people, let alone the weak ones; how often have they led to
foolishness and insanity.
It should be noted that your life will follow yourtrain of thought. If
your thoughts are of things that will bring you benefit in your
spiritual or worldly affairs, then your life will be good and happy.
Otherwise it will be the opposite.
The person who is safe from all of that is the one who is protected by
Allaah and helped by Him to strive to achieve that which will benefit
and strengthen the heart and ward off anxiety. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And whosoever puts histrust in Allaah, then He will suffice him"
[al-Talaaq 65:3]
i.e., He will be sufficient for all that is worrying him in his
spiritual and worldly affairs. The one who puts his trust in Allaah
will have strengthin his heart and will not be affected by anything he
imagines or be disturbed by events, because he knows that these are
the result of vulnerable human nature and of weakness and fear that
have no basis. He also knows thatAllaah has guaranteed complete
sufficiency to those who put their trustin Him. So he trusts in Allaah
and finds peace ofmind in His promise, andthus his worry and anxiety
are dispelled; hardship is turned to ease, sadness is turned to joy,
fear is turned to peace. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound, and
to bless us with strength and steadfastness of heart, and complete
trust, for Allaah has guaranteed all good things to those who put
their trust in Him, and has guaranteedto ward off all bad and harmful
things from them.
If bad things happen or there is the fear of such, then you should
count the many blessings that you are still enjoying, both spiritual
and worldly, and compare them with the bad things that have happened,
for when youcompare them you will see the many blessings that you are
enjoying, and this will make the bad things appear less serious.
See al-Wasaa'il al-Mufeedah li'l-Hayaat al-Sa'eedah by Shatkh 'Abd
al-Rahmaan ibn Sa'di
Ibn al-Qayyim summed fifteen ways through which Allaah may dispel
worries and regret. These are as follows:
1- Tawheed al-Ruboobiyyah (belief in the Oneness of Divine Lordship)
2- Tawheed al-Uloohiyyah (belief in the Oneness of the Divine nature)
3- Tawheed of knowledge and belief (i.e., Tawheed al-Asma'
wa'l_Sifaat, belief in the Oneness of the Divine names and attributes)
4- Thinking of Allaah as being above doing any injustice to His
slaves, and above punishing anyone for nocause on the part of the
slave that would require such punishment.
5- The person's acknowledging that he is the one who has done wrong.
6- Beseeching Allaah by means of the things that are most beloved
to Him, which are His names and attributes. Two of His names that
encompass the meanings of all other names and attributes areal-Hayy
(the Ever-Living) and al-Qayyoom (the Eternal).
7- Seeking the help of Allaah Alone.
8- Affirming one's hope in Him.
9- Truly putting one's trust in Him and leaving matters to Him,
acknowledging that one's forelock is in His hand and that He does as
He wills, that His will isforever executed and that He is just in all
that He decrees.
10-Letting one's heart wander in the garden ofthe Qur'aan, seeking
consolation in it from every calamity, seeking healing in it from all
diseases of the heart, so that it will bring comfortto his grief and
healing for his worries and distress.
11-Seeking forgiveness.
12-Repentance.
13-Jihad.
14-Salaah (prayer).
15-Declaring that he has no power and no strength, and leaving matters
to the One in Whose hand they are.
We ask Allaah to keep ussafe and sound from worries and to relieve
usof distress and anxiety, for He is the All-Hearing, Ever-Responsive,
and He is the Ever-Living, Eternal.
See Alhomoom – Dealingwith Worries and Stress, in the Books section of
this site.
And Allaah knows best. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our
Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

The Heart Softeners -, Ruling on entering chat rooms on the Internet for fun.Dought & clear - ,

I hope you can advise me on the ruling on entering chat rooms
anddiscussion boards. I only go there for fun and to see some of the
topics under discussion, and you can well imagine the kind of bad talk
that goes on in those places. Please advise me about this, may Allaah
preserveyou.
Praise be to Allaah.
One of the things that the Muslim should do is discipline himself and
seek to adopt the best ofattitudes and etiquette. This requires a
great deal of striving against bad inclinations and it needs a lot of
patience. The most important thing that can help him to do that is
avoiding places of evil and places that could lead to his doom. The
scholars of personal development are unanimously agreed that man is
inherently weak and inclined towards evil, and that it is the mind (or
reason) that could controls his attitude and inclinations, and guide
his energies. So if reasondoes not restrain one's inclinations towards
following whims and desires, then he will soon find no means to turn
back to the path of salvation.
The same applies to gatherings of leisure and entertainment. Theyhave
always been – and still are, as they appear on the internet – a
wasteof energy and talent, where followers of falsehood who have no
mission to work or succeed in their lives gather, and they waste their
time and their liveswhich are the most precious things they own, and
they spend their days exchanging gossip, and they waste a lot of time
and do not achieve anything for their worldly or religiousinterests.
When the Muslim has theblessing of free time with which Allaah has
honoured him, he can do no more than look for the best deeds with
which to fill his time, notjust any good deed. Hence you see that the
Sahaabah (may Allaah bepleased with them) asked the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) in many ahaadeeth about the best
actions by means of which they could attain a higher status before
Allaah, andthe Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
answered their questions.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There
are two blessings which many people do not make the best of: good
health and free time." Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6412).
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, speaking of regret
about time:
Regret for wasted time should be deep, for time passes quickly and it
is difficult to make up what you have missed.
Time for the worshipper is a time for worship andreciting awraad, and
for the devoted Muslim it is time for turning to Allaah and focusing
on Him with all his heart.
Time is the dearest thingto him and he would feel very sad if time
passes without him doing what he is meant to do. If he misses time, he
can never make it up,because a second time has its own duties. So if
he misses time, there is no way he can bring it back.
Madaarij al-Saalikeen (3/49).
The most important things that will help you make the most of your
time is to avoid futile gatherings and refrain from talking too much
and keep away from lazyand idle people, and to keep company with those
who are striving hard, clever, smart and aware of time, and thoseho
immerse themselves in reading for the purpose of increasing their
knowledge.
The wise man is the one who is guided to fill his time with useful,
beneficial and good deeds; thus he will advance and rise in status. So
you will find him always seeking knowledge, or writing lessons, or
learning a skill, or visiting relatives or a sick person, or advising
one who has gone astray, or earning a living so that he can spend on
his dependentsand save them from having to ask of people.
'Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:
I would hate to see any one of you idle and not doing anything to help
himself in this world or in the Hereafter.
Quoted by Abu 'Ubayd al-Qaasim ibn Sallaam in al-Amthaal (48).
The Muslim has no time to listen to or look at sinful things. You know
that these conversations include things that go against sharee'ah such
as immoral talk and bad attitudes, so is entering these foul swamps
something that will benefit a Muslim, or is it anything that he should
seek in his life?
It was narrated that AbuHurayrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Strive to do that which
will benefit you and seek the help of Allaah." Narrated by Muslim
(2664).
When Allaah asks you onthe Day of Resurrection about this time that
you wasted in idle talk and writing and conversing about things that
are of no benefit, rather they will harm you, what will your answer
be? It was narrated that Abu Barzah al-Aslami said: The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "A person's
feet willnot move on the Day of Resurrection until he is asked about
his life and how he spent it, his knowledge and what he did with it,
and his wealth, how he acquiredit and how he spent it, and his body
(health), and how he used it." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2417), classed
as saheehby Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa'l-Tarheeb
(126).
Finally, you should note:
That these chat rooms have corrupted the morals of many people; they
have caused rifts between loved ones, men have divorced their wives
because of them, women have lost their honour because of them,and
those who are weakin faith and lacking in knowledge have been deceived
by the speciousarguments and myths in them, and have thus been misled.
If the Muslim hears of an environment that is filled with fitnah and
sin, he should denounce the people involved and strive to set them
straight – if he is one of those who are able for that – otherwise he
should keep away from such environments and not be deceived by
thinking that his faith is strong or that he knows what they really
are, andthat he is just having fun.
Beware of indulging in chat rooms on the internet, and protect
yourself from the immorality and evil that is in them, for they are
gatherings that bring little benefit but cause a great deal of harm;
they are of no benefit in this world and do not bring salvation in the
Hereafter.
If you find that you are getting drawn into fitnah and sin, such as
speaking to women unnecessarily and speaking too much to this one and
that one, then you should realize that you are in grave danger, and we
hope that you will save yourself from it and resist falling into the
trap of the shaytaan.