Fwd: Does our personality affect our level of attractiveness

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "M.Farouk Radwan" <farouk@2knowmyself.com>
Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2012 10:24:24 -0500
Subject: Does our personality affect our level of attractiveness
To: "M. NajimudeeN. Bsc-INDIA" <aydnajimudeen@gmail.com>

Hi M. NajimudeeN. Bsc-INDIA,

How are you today??

Studies have shown that attractiveness perception changes when we get
to know a person better.

Do you remember how your perception of attractiveness of people
changed during high school or college days? I am sure you found some
people attractive after spending more time with them even though you
didn't find them attractive during your first encounter with them.

A study has shown that people start to see others differently when
they discover some of their personality traits. (see also
Attractiveness perception psychology)

When was the last time you saw a movie where the hero wasn't that
attractive? do you remember how you felt like when you first saw that
movie hero? now try to recall your feelings towards him at the end of
the movie and you will discover that you have changed your opinion
about his attractiveness completely. (see also Why do we find people
attractive)

If watching a person do good things for 2 hours can change the
attractiveness perception then what can a six month friendship with a
person do?

Certainly if during that period the person displayed desirable traits
then he will appear much more physically attractive!

Attractiveness standards and exceptions

We all have certain standards that we use to asses people's
attractiveness but when we spend time with someone with desirable
traits we start to sacrifice some of these standards.

Its as if our subconscious minds replace some of the physical traits
of that person with some of his good personality traits.

It was also found that people could change their attractiveness
perception few seconds after a person starts talking! Sometimes the
first impression a person forms of another gets changed as soon as the
the later opens his mouth. (see First impression psychology)

Another study has found that a simple action such as a friendly smile
can affect the attractiveness perception of people. If a smile does so
then what can a good trait such as kindness do??

You still have a good chance

You don't have to look like movie heroes to leave a good impression
because just as you saw people can see you differently based on your
actions and behaviour.

While these facts are applicable to both men and women it was found
that a woman is more likely to change her perception of attractiveness
of a man after he displays great personality traits.

In my previous article attractiveness perception psychology i said
that physcial looks is only one item in the attraction puzzle. The
more you know about this attraction puzzle the more you will be able
to take advantage of such facts and the more attractive you will
appear to be.

Can't wait till the next lesson?

here are some related articles from 2knowmyself:

· How your experience database affects your perception of attractiveness

· Why extra attention can attract some people and not others

· Do people get attracted to those who are as physically
attractive as them?

· Why do some people like certain facial features

Do you have any questions that you want to ask me? Now you can Add me
on Google+ and contact me directly : )

Till the next lesson

Take care of yourself M. NajimudeeN. Bsc-INDIA :)


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Praised Manners - , Dought and clear - , Allah said to Moosa: “O Moosa, I did not grantthat to Myself so how could I grant it yo you?”.

Moosa (peace be upon him) said when conversing with his Lord: "O Lord,
protect mefrom people's tongues (speech)" He said: "O Moosa, you are
asking for something that I did not (even) grant for Myself.".
Praise be to Allaah.
We could not find this report with any reliable isnaad, and we did not
find it in the books of Sunnah and reports. Rather we saw it in
somebooks of raqaa'iq (heart softening reports) and exhortation,
without mentioning any isnaad or reliable source.
Ibn Muflih al-Maqdisi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"Moosa (blessings of Allah be upon him) said: 'O Lord, the people are
saying things about me that are not true.' And Allah revealed to him:
'O Moosa, I have not granted that to Myself, so how could I grant it
to you?'" End quote.
Al-Adaab al-Shar'iyyah, 1/7-8; there is a similar report in Qoot
al-Quloob by Abu Taalib al-Makki, 2/309; Siraaj al-Mulook by Abu Bakr
al-Tartooshi (229).
Although we cannot prove it because we could not find any isnaad for
it, there does not appear to be anything wrong with its meaning,
because Allah did not decree -- in any of the universal natural laws
that He decreed -- that none of His creationwould overstep the mark
towards Him or that any human could ever deal with their Lordin a way
that is not befitting to His Majesty and Might; rather He has told us
of people who fell short in that regard and did not estimate Him with
an estimation due to Him, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
"They (the Jews, Qurayshpagans, idolaters) did not estimate Allaah
with an estimation due to Him when they said: 'Nothing did Allaah send
down to any human being (by Revelation).' Say (O Muhammad صلىالله عليه
وسلم): "Whothen sent down the Book which Moosa (Moses) brought, a
light and a guidance to mankind which you (the Jews) have made into
(separate) paper sheets, disclosing (some of it) and concealing
(much). And you (believers in Allaah and His MessengerMuhammad صلى
الله عليه وسلم) were taught (through the Qur'aan) that which neither
you nor your fathers knew." Say: "Allaah (sent it down)." Then leave
them to play in their vain discussions"
[al-An'aam 6:91]
"They have not estimated Allaah His Rightful Estimate. Verily, Allaah
is All-Strong, All-Mighty"
[al-Hajj 22:74]
"They made not a just estimate of Allaah such as is due to Him. And on
the Day of Resurrection the whole of the earth will be grasped by His
Hand and the heavens will be rolled up in His Right Hand. Glorified be
He, and High be He above all that they associate as partners with
Him!"
[al-Zumar 39:67].
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "No one
is more patient in bearing offensive things that he hears than Allaah,
may He be glorified and exalted; others are associated with Him, a son
is attributed to Him, but Hestill grants them health and provision."
Narratedby al-Bukhaari (7378) and Muslim (2804).
What we learn from thatis that the criticism of the envious and the
slander of those with ulterior motives is not a reason for a Muslim to
be discouraged from trying hard to succeed and progress, or to weaken
his resolve or cause him to become frustrated. He should always
remember that Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, the Angels, the
Messengers and the Prophets were never safe from slander and harm.
And Allah knows best.

Praised Manners - , Dought and clear - , Is feeling proud of one’s religion a kind of blameworthy pride?.

Is there anything wrong with a person feeling proud of his religion or
feeling proud of a person who does something good? Because we know
that pride in the heart is something bad.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
With regard to feeling proud of one's religion and of belonging to it,
this is something that is prescribed in Islam and is a righteous deed.
A story from one of the battles illustrates this point: Abu Sufyaan,
the leader of Quraysh, expressed pride in his religion and the
religionof his people – as he hadnot yet entered Islam. The Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) answered his boast with an
expressionof the Muslim's pride in his religion and his affirmation of
the Oneness of the Lord of the Worlds.
Al-Bukhaari narrated in his Saheeh (3039) from the hadeeth of al-Bara'
ibn 'Aazib (may Allah be pleased with him) that after the battle Abu
Sufyaan ibn Harb startedcomposing rajz verse and saying: "Rise in
honour, Hubal; rise in honour Hubal."
The Prophet blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Why don't
you answer him?"
They said: "O Messenger of Allah, what should wesay?"
He said: "Say: Allah is Most High and Most Glorious."
Abu Sufyaan said: We have al-'Uzza and you have no 'Uzza."
The Prophet blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Why
don''t you answer him?"
They said: "O Messenger of Allah, what should wesay?"
He said: "Say: Allah is ourSupporter and you have no supporter!"
Allah, may He be exalted,has taught His slaves thattrue pride and
perfect honour can only be achieved by obeying Allah. Allah, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Whosoever desires honour, power and glory then to Allaah belong all
honour, power and glory [and one can get honour, power and glory only
by obeying and worshipping Allaah (Alone)]. To Him ascend (all) the
goodly words, and the righteous deeds exalt it (i.e. the goodly words
are not accepted by Allaah unless and until they are followed by good
deeds), but those who plot evils, theirs will be severe torment. And
the plotting of such will perish"
[Faatir 35:10].
i.e., and whoever would like to be honoured in this world and the
Hereafter, let him adhere to obedience to Allah, then he will attain
what he wants, because Allah is the Sovereign of this world and the
Hereafter, and all honour, power and glory belong to Him, as He says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Those who take disbelievers for Awliyaa' (protectors or helpers or
friends) instead of believers, do they seek honour, power and glory
with them? Verily, then to Allaah belongs all honour, power and glory"
[al-Nisa' 4:139]
"And let not their speechgrieve you (O Muhammad r), for all power and
honour belong to Allaah"
[Yoonus 10:65]
"But honour, power and glory belong to Allaah, and to His Messenger
(Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم), and to thebelievers, but the hypocrites
know not"
[al-Munaafiqoon 63:8].
Mujaahid said: "Whosoever desires honour, power and glory" [al-Faatir
35:10] by worshipping idols, "then to Allaah belong all honour, power
and glory.
Qataadah said: "Whosoever desires honour, power and glory then to
Allaah belong all honour, power and glory" i.e., lethim seek honour,
powerand glory by obeying Allah, may He be glorified and exalted.
Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 6/536
Secondly:
With regard to a person feeling proud of himself,if it is because he
is religiously committed, righteous and pious, then it is good, but if
it isbecause of anything else, such as lineage, ancestry, wealth,
position or status amongpeople, then this is an act of Jaahiliyyah and
is not permissible.
Muslim (1550) narrated from Abu Maalik al-Ash'ari (may Allah be
pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) said: "There are four matters of Jaahiliyyah in my ummah
that they will not give up: pride in one's forefathers, slandering
lineages, seeking rain by the stars and wailing (for the dead)."
Muslim (5109) also narrated from 'Iyaad ibnHimaar al-Mujaasha'i (may
Allah be pleased with that) that the Messenger of Allah (sa) said one
day in his khutbah: "Allah has revealed to me that you should be
humble so that no one will boast to anyone else and no one will
transgress against anyone else."
Al-Majd Ibn Tamiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Allah has
forbidden on the lips of His Prophet two types of mistreatment of
people: pride and transgression against them and scorn.
Fayd al-Qadeer, 2/217
The guideline with regard to this issue is: whatever is a source of
pride and honour because of religion is part of the religion and is
praiseworthy; any source of pride other than that is blameworthy.
But feeling proud because of doing acts of obedience and worship means
feeling happy that one has been enabled to do that and feeling proud
of belonging to people who do that, and praising Allah for saving him
from shirk and its people, and from sin andits path.
As for looking down on the slaves of Allah and feeling that one is
abovethem because of acts of obedience that one has done, this is the
worst type of pride and arrogance, and the one who is like this is on
the brink of disaster and there is a danger that hisdeeds will be
thrown back at him.
And Allah knows best.

Praised Manners - , Dought and clear - , Is it permissible to write in her resume that she has experience that she did not acquire in the manner required?.

I have teaching experience at home, teaching my own brothers, cousins
and now my children. Is it permitted for me to disclose this as
institutional experience or otherwise as teachingexperience while
appling for a teaching job in a school?.
Praise be to Allaah.
The Muslim should speakthe truth and seek to be honest. Allah, may He
be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"O you who believe! FearAllaah, and be with those who are true (in
words and deeds)"
[al-Tawbah 9:119].
Al-Bukhaari (6094) and Muslim (2607) narrated that Ibn Mas'ood (may
Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messengerof Allah (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) said: "I enjoin you to be truthful, for
truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to
Paradise. A man may continue to tell the truthand endeavour to be
truthful until he is recorded with Allaah as a speaker of truth. And
beware of lying, for lying leads to wickedness and wickedness leads to
Hell.A man may continue to tell lies and endeavour to tell lies, until
he is recorded with Allaah as a liar."
al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
The scholars said: What this means is that truthfulness leads to
righteous deeds that arefree of everything blameworthy. Al-birr
(righteousness) is a general word that includes all kinds of good
deeds. But lying leads to wickedness, which is drifting away from
righteousness or, itwas said, indulging in sin.
The scholars said: This is encouragement to endeavour to be truthful,
which means seeking it and paying attention to it. (And it is
encouragement) to beware of lying and taking the matter lightly,for if
one takes the matter lightly he will do a great deal of it and become
known for that. So if a person tells the truth all the time and it
becomes second nature to him, Allah will record him as a speaker of
truth. On the other hand,if he tells lies all the timeand it becomes
second nature to him, Allah will record him as a liar. End quote.
Mentioning your teaching at home as if it were teaching in an
educational institution isundoubtedly a kind of lying. Rather you have
totell the truth and tell them that you taught privately at home.
Remember that if you tell the truth and fear Allah, Allah will provide
for you from sources youcould not imagine. Allah,may He be exalted,
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine"
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3].
And Allah knows best.

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And Allah Knows the Best!

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Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA

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