Before a Muslim woman seeks employment, she must carefully weigh all
of her options and prepare herself for inevitable challenges.
Every day, many Muslim women cope with the challenge of working in a
non-Muslim environment: a male employee offers his hand during
introductions, other employees begin to discuss private aspects of
their lives at lunch, an invitation is sent to all employeesfor a
get-together at the local bar; someone makes a joke aboutHijaab or
Salaah. These are just a few of the many possible situations that a
woman may face as she struggles to maintain not only her job, but,
more importantly, her Muslim identity.
All women who have been exposed to the workplace at some point in
their lives can fully grasp the myriad of reasons why working outside
the home is an enormous problem, in particular for Muslim women. There
are countless contrasts in the workplace to our Islamic value system.
There are valid reasons why laws were enacted for sexual harassment in
the workplace in the United States, and that is because it happens,
and often. Moreover, women should be aware that the laws can only do
very little to discourage it, after that you are on your own.
What is the Islamic perspective inwomen and work? What guidelines
should be followed if awoman works? What are some strategies that may
be effective in helping her to maintain Islamicvalues and behavior?
Setting priorities:
The most important role for a woman is motherhood. This special role
that Allaah, Almighty,has created for her, affords her honor and
respect in Islam. Where does she fulfill this role? Naturally, in
her home. Allaah, Almighty, Says (what means): "And abide in your
houses and donot display yourselves as [was] the display of the former
times ofignorance…" [Quran 33: 33]
This does not mean that a woman is a prisoner in her home,but only
that she should have a valid reason (meeting her basic needs) to go
out, to avoid any tribulation, trial, or temptation that may result
from mixing between men and women.
A woman should not work in a non-Muslim environment unless there is an
extremelly compellingreason for her to do so. Allaah, Almighty, has
not prohibited women from working, but He hasprovided numerous
protections for women, that are primarily concerned with where, how,
and with whom she associates. She should seriously consider the costs
and benefits for herself, and the impact on her ability to fulfill her
primary responsibilities,before taking on a job. There are many
situations that may make itnecessary for a woman to work, such as to
meet the financial needs of the family or to fulfill the needs of the
society (doctors,midwives, teachers).
There are several obvious guidelines that should be followed if a
woman must work:
First, she must obtain consent from her guardian or husband (if
married), who may offer a broader perspective on how her work may
influence the family and its functioning.
Secondly , a woman must ensure that her home and children are properly
cared for. Her husband may be of assistance in this area, or outside
help may be employed.
Thirdly , care must be taken to choose employment that is appropriate
and fits with her skills. Obviously, any work that deals with
forbidden activities, services, or products would not be allowed but
there is a world of possibilities available.
Forthly , any job that prevents herfrom fulfilling any of her Islamic
obligations, like Hijaab or Prayer for example, is not an option to be
considered.
Fifthly , while at the job, a woman must maintain her inwardly and
outwardly modesty and chastity.
There is an immense and growing need for Muslim womenin various
medical fields, in education, in helping professions such as social
work, counseling, psychology, psychiatry, and childcare. With the
growth of technology and communications capabilities, there are
unlimited opportunities for women to do some type of work or business
from home (such as secretarial and typing; writing, editing,
publishing; computer work, etc.). This would be an ideal situation
that would eliminate many of theconcerns that may arise for working
women.
Maintaining an Islamic foundation:
This common concern for womenwho work outside the home must be taken
very seriously. Women need to be careful that the job they choose does
not leadthem to transgress the limits of Islam.
Fedwa is a successful computer programmer at a major University who
understands the risks of working in a non-Muslim environment. She
knows that if she is not cautious, others may begin to negatively
influence her. When she first began working, she would attend
luncheons withother employees, but soon discovered that much of the
timewas spent on idle talk and conversation about forbidden activities
(e.g. boyfriends, drinking). She decided that the best precaution for
her would be to avoid these luncheons completely, so that a bond
wouldnot be established between herself and her co-workers. This type
of influence could be so subtle, that a sister may not evenbe aware
that she has fallen into the trap. Listening to inappropriate
conversations on a regular basis may lead a sister to become
desensitized and therebyforgetful about appropriate etiquette.
Another sister, Layla, echoed the same concerns. Layla is a Dental
Claims Clerk at a major HMO who also decided to stop sitting with her
co-workers during lunch. She and three other Muslim sisters at the
same company have devised a creative way to preserve their identity
while socializing at the same time. Each Friday, the sisters pray
Thuhr (noon prayer) together in a conference room, followed by lunch.
During lunchtime, they study about Islam in a private halaqah (Islamic
study circle).
Layla also discussed her struggle with wearing Hijaab. When she first
became Muslim, she considered not wearing Hijaab to job interviews for
fear that potential employers would react negatively, preventing her
from being considered. This rationale carries a strong message. After
more consideration, she realized that Allaah would be the only OneWho
could assist her in finding a job, and if she did not wear it, she
would not receive Allaah's help. She wore the Hijaab and found a job.
She felt that the Hijaab was a barrier in only one of her interviews.
Since that time,Allaah, Almighty, has strengthened her faith. Her
advice to other Muslim sisters is to be open and honest about
religious beliefs and practices, and to incorporate this into
conversations.
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Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Employment concerns forworking Muslim women – I: Islamic guidelines
Assassination of the Woman’s Personality
Woman suffered many woes for centuries because of the statements of
Paul and those like him. The men of this religion who are attributed
to Christ considered that, "The woman is filth which should be
avoided, and her beauty is the weaponof Satan." The Popes were eager
to confirm that woman was the source of evil and sin in this world.
For this reason, she should be oppressed as much as possible and
psychologically consumed under the pressure of the feelings of
disgrace and the shame of her human nature and entity.
This belief crept into Christianity from many ideas and customs from
ancient pagan religions, which considered the woman an embodiment of
wicked spirits, and consented to scorning and humiliating women, if
not exterminating them in the most brutal ways, like, for example, to
enjoin upon the woman whose husband died to burn herself afterhis
death immediately after burning his dead body.
Simone de Beauvoir stated that the contribution of the Christian creed
in persecuting woman was significant.
According to Marcuse the idea that the woman carries the perpetual
sin, to which the creed of Christianity inseparably adheres, has
strongly influenced the woman's social and legal status.
According to Denis Diderot, all life's customs and traditions, the
onslaught of popular lawand that of nature conspired against the
woman. This is because under these laws, the woman was treated as a
being that had lost its mind.
The history of the woman was written by men who took her as their
enemy from the early ages of Popedom. During the past ages of the
Roman Empire, man regarded her as a domestic animal and he had the
right to dispose of her by selling or killingher if he wished. If a
mankilled the daughter of another, he had to deliver his daughter to
them and they were free to either kill, sell or own her.
During the Germanic age, man had power over the woman. The husband had
the right to discipline his wife by beating her and was allowed to
kill his wife in case she betrayed him, and no punishment was due on
him for that.
Moreover, she was regarded as a secondary creature and the partner of
Satan in perpetual sin, which relegated her to the second rank after
man, even at the level of the church.
The People of the Book always viewed the woman as the source of sin
and the fountainheadof misdeeds and wickedness. They also saw the
woman as man's door to Hell, being the source of the movement which
leads him to sin, and from her sprang all calamities that afflicted
all mankind.
For this reason, they seized every opportunity concerning the woman to
frustrate her, even if it was related to her clothing. Tertullian
wrotean epistle in the 3 rd century CE about the woman's clothing, in
which he said, "It was more fitting for the woman to come out in a
despicable dress, and walk like Eve, lamenting her state, in regret
for what she did, so that her grief-expressing clothing would be
expiation of the shame she inherited from Eve, i.e. the original sin,
and then the disgrace of eternal destruction of humanity. The Lord
said to the woman: 'I will greatly increase your labor pains; with
pain you will give birth to children. You will want to control your
husband, but he willdominate you.' Have you not learnt that every one
of you (O women) is Eve?" [Genesis 3:16]
Saint Bernard, who did his best to transmit the worship of Mary the
virgin into the church, said about his sister after she had visited
him in hismonastery wearing a new uniform , "A dirty prostitute and a
lump of dung."
The assembly of Bacon
In the 5 th century CE, the assembly of Bacon gathered to discuss
whether the woman was merely a body or a body with a soul responsible
for salvation and destruction. They decided that the woman does not
have a saved soul which could deliver her from Hell. None of Eve's
daughters was exempted from that stainexcept Maryam (Mary), may Allaah
exalt her mention.
Another assembly decided that the woman was a filthy animal
whichshould be avoided, and that she had no soul, no eternity, and the
principles of religion should not be dictated to her for her worship
was not accepted, nor would she enter Paradise and the dominion of the
Hereafter. All she had to do was serve and be a slave, with her mouth
tied up like a camel or a rabid dog to be prevented from laughter and
speech for she was the snare of Satan.
Scandals from the heart of Popedom
In his Thawrat Al-Fikr (Revolution of Thought) , Dr. Lewis 'Awad said that,
The scandals in Rome, thecentre of Popedom, wereextremely troubling.
The Catholic creed, in principle, states that menof religion never
marry, and that monks, including Popes and cardinals, make three vows
to God once they enter the gate of the church: the vow of chastity,
the vow of poverty and the vow of obedience. However, Pope Alexander
VI (1431-1503 CE), publicly and openly had three illegal children:
Cesare Borgia (1475-1507 CE), Lucrezia Borgia (1480-1519 CE), and Don
Candia. The time of his predecessor, Pope Innocent VIII (pope from
1484-1492 CE), was known for severe corruption, and he was succeeded
by Alexander VI. Innocent VIII was infamous for his nepotism and
dishonesty,and he was the first popeto publicly acknowledge his
illegitimate children. He endeavored to increase the possessions of
his family, to say nothing of his selling of deeds of pardon and
terrorizing his opponentswith deprivation resolutions. Similarly, it
was the habit of all men of the church, from the greatest to the least
significant priest, to amass wealth and possess estates. The sexual
practices of ecclesiastics were visible everywhere, and regarded as
acceptable. Sexual deviation was alsonegligently overlooked.
Why did God create woman?
According to Augustine , "If what Adamneeded was only good company,
then, it would have been better to have two men living together as
friends instead of a couple that is made up ofa man and a woman."
Thomas Aquinas was also confused, like Augustine, his predecessor, as
to why God had created the woman. He wrote the following, "As for the
individual's nature, the woman is a defective creature, fitting for
contempt. That is because the efficient power of the male's semen
produces the perfect match of the malesex, while the woman is produced
from the defectiveness of that efficient power, or from body trouble,
or even as a result of an external effect."
The idea that the individual's nature in the woman is defective was
taken from Aristotle's biological opinions, according to which, the
male is the perfect type or standard pattern, and the woman is but a
defective model of man.
The woman was regarded as insignificant to the extent that Luther
said, "If women are tired or even die, it does not matter; let them
die during the operation of childbirth, because they are created only
for that."
Is woman a human being that has a soul like man?
In France, the French men of religion held a conference, i.e. the
abovementioned assembly of Bacon in 586 CE at which time the Prophet,
, was a youngman, to discuss whether the woman was to be regarded as a
human or non-human being, whether or not she had asoul, and if she did
have a soul, was it human or animal, and if it was human, was it equal
to orless than that of the man.Their final resolution wasthat she was
a human being, but was created only to serve man.
The woman is legally incompetent
According to French Post-Revolutionary Civil Law, a minor was a child,
or an insane person, or a woman. It remained so until it was modified
in 1938 CE, and it still has many restrictions on howthe married woman
should behave.
Hence, she had no right to possess any fixedestates or movable
assets,nor to open a bank account in her name, andeven after she was
allowed to open a bank account in her name, she had no right to
withdrawmoney from it by herself; rather, her husband had to come to
withdraw money for her from her account, just like what is done with
minor childrenand the insane.
Selling or lending thewife is legitimate
Until the end of the 10th century CE, there was in Britain a common
law that gave the husband the right to sell or lend his wife, or even
kill her if she had an incurable disease. If one knows that a farmer
would refuse to lend his cow to a friend, then what would he think
about the one who lends his wife to another man? Was the woman
regarded as so insignificant in their sight to the extent that they
made her inferior toan animal? Was the law intended to convert the man
into a cuckold and the woman into a prostitute? Did this law show
respect for the woman? Did this law givewoman superiority to an animal
or even a non-being? What kind of life was this law seeking for its
society and what kind of love did the church find in that law?
Pouring boiling oil over the bodies of women just for entertainment
was legitimate
In 1500 CE, a social council was formed in Britain to punish women,and
new means of punishing them were invented. Thousands of women were
burnt alive,and boiling oil was poured over their bodies merely for
the sake of entertainment.
There is no comment other than a question to be raised for
consideration: what was the position of a woman when men entertained
themselves by pouring boiling oil over her body?
Prohibition for a woman to read the Bible
During the time of King Henry VIII of England, parliament issued a
decree forbidding a woman from reading the New Testament, i.e. the
Gospel, for she was considered impure. If shewas impure for half of
her life because of menstruation in addition to seven days after every
menses, and this is why she was forbidden from holding and reading the
Bible, then what would one think about Christ, who used to enter the
privy, and during his early childhood, urinatedand excreted in his
clothes? Was a woman considered more impure than urine and excrement?
The woman had no right to citizenship
According to English common law, women, until the middle of the 19 th
century CE, were not considered "persons" or"citizens" who were
entitled to be called as such by law. They had no personal rights,
they had no right to possess the property they gained, or anything -
even the clothes they wore.
In 1567 CE, the Scottish parliament issued a decree stating that a
woman should not be given authority over anything.
The wife's price was half a shilling
Until 1805 CE, English law gave the man the right to sell his wife,
and priced her at sixpence, i.e. half a shilling. It happened that a
man sold his wife for 500 pounds in 1931 CE. In defending this
husband, his lawyer argued that in 1801 CE, English law priced the
wife at 6 pence, provided that the wife agreed on the sale. However,
the court replied that this law was abrogated by another law in 1805
CE that forbade selling or giving up wives. After deliberation, the
court ordered that the man who sold his wife should be imprisoned for
ten years.
Hadhaarat Al-Islam magazine mentioned in its second year (p.1078) that
an Italian man sold his wife in installments, and when the purchaser
did not pay the last installment, the seller killed him.
Paul and those like him. The men of this religion who are attributed
to Christ considered that, "The woman is filth which should be
avoided, and her beauty is the weaponof Satan." The Popes were eager
to confirm that woman was the source of evil and sin in this world.
For this reason, she should be oppressed as much as possible and
psychologically consumed under the pressure of the feelings of
disgrace and the shame of her human nature and entity.
This belief crept into Christianity from many ideas and customs from
ancient pagan religions, which considered the woman an embodiment of
wicked spirits, and consented to scorning and humiliating women, if
not exterminating them in the most brutal ways, like, for example, to
enjoin upon the woman whose husband died to burn herself afterhis
death immediately after burning his dead body.
Simone de Beauvoir stated that the contribution of the Christian creed
in persecuting woman was significant.
According to Marcuse the idea that the woman carries the perpetual
sin, to which the creed of Christianity inseparably adheres, has
strongly influenced the woman's social and legal status.
According to Denis Diderot, all life's customs and traditions, the
onslaught of popular lawand that of nature conspired against the
woman. This is because under these laws, the woman was treated as a
being that had lost its mind.
The history of the woman was written by men who took her as their
enemy from the early ages of Popedom. During the past ages of the
Roman Empire, man regarded her as a domestic animal and he had the
right to dispose of her by selling or killingher if he wished. If a
mankilled the daughter of another, he had to deliver his daughter to
them and they were free to either kill, sell or own her.
During the Germanic age, man had power over the woman. The husband had
the right to discipline his wife by beating her and was allowed to
kill his wife in case she betrayed him, and no punishment was due on
him for that.
Moreover, she was regarded as a secondary creature and the partner of
Satan in perpetual sin, which relegated her to the second rank after
man, even at the level of the church.
The People of the Book always viewed the woman as the source of sin
and the fountainheadof misdeeds and wickedness. They also saw the
woman as man's door to Hell, being the source of the movement which
leads him to sin, and from her sprang all calamities that afflicted
all mankind.
For this reason, they seized every opportunity concerning the woman to
frustrate her, even if it was related to her clothing. Tertullian
wrotean epistle in the 3 rd century CE about the woman's clothing, in
which he said, "It was more fitting for the woman to come out in a
despicable dress, and walk like Eve, lamenting her state, in regret
for what she did, so that her grief-expressing clothing would be
expiation of the shame she inherited from Eve, i.e. the original sin,
and then the disgrace of eternal destruction of humanity. The Lord
said to the woman: 'I will greatly increase your labor pains; with
pain you will give birth to children. You will want to control your
husband, but he willdominate you.' Have you not learnt that every one
of you (O women) is Eve?" [Genesis 3:16]
Saint Bernard, who did his best to transmit the worship of Mary the
virgin into the church, said about his sister after she had visited
him in hismonastery wearing a new uniform , "A dirty prostitute and a
lump of dung."
The assembly of Bacon
In the 5 th century CE, the assembly of Bacon gathered to discuss
whether the woman was merely a body or a body with a soul responsible
for salvation and destruction. They decided that the woman does not
have a saved soul which could deliver her from Hell. None of Eve's
daughters was exempted from that stainexcept Maryam (Mary), may Allaah
exalt her mention.
Another assembly decided that the woman was a filthy animal
whichshould be avoided, and that she had no soul, no eternity, and the
principles of religion should not be dictated to her for her worship
was not accepted, nor would she enter Paradise and the dominion of the
Hereafter. All she had to do was serve and be a slave, with her mouth
tied up like a camel or a rabid dog to be prevented from laughter and
speech for she was the snare of Satan.
Scandals from the heart of Popedom
In his Thawrat Al-Fikr (Revolution of Thought) , Dr. Lewis 'Awad said that,
The scandals in Rome, thecentre of Popedom, wereextremely troubling.
The Catholic creed, in principle, states that menof religion never
marry, and that monks, including Popes and cardinals, make three vows
to God once they enter the gate of the church: the vow of chastity,
the vow of poverty and the vow of obedience. However, Pope Alexander
VI (1431-1503 CE), publicly and openly had three illegal children:
Cesare Borgia (1475-1507 CE), Lucrezia Borgia (1480-1519 CE), and Don
Candia. The time of his predecessor, Pope Innocent VIII (pope from
1484-1492 CE), was known for severe corruption, and he was succeeded
by Alexander VI. Innocent VIII was infamous for his nepotism and
dishonesty,and he was the first popeto publicly acknowledge his
illegitimate children. He endeavored to increase the possessions of
his family, to say nothing of his selling of deeds of pardon and
terrorizing his opponentswith deprivation resolutions. Similarly, it
was the habit of all men of the church, from the greatest to the least
significant priest, to amass wealth and possess estates. The sexual
practices of ecclesiastics were visible everywhere, and regarded as
acceptable. Sexual deviation was alsonegligently overlooked.
Why did God create woman?
According to Augustine , "If what Adamneeded was only good company,
then, it would have been better to have two men living together as
friends instead of a couple that is made up ofa man and a woman."
Thomas Aquinas was also confused, like Augustine, his predecessor, as
to why God had created the woman. He wrote the following, "As for the
individual's nature, the woman is a defective creature, fitting for
contempt. That is because the efficient power of the male's semen
produces the perfect match of the malesex, while the woman is produced
from the defectiveness of that efficient power, or from body trouble,
or even as a result of an external effect."
The idea that the individual's nature in the woman is defective was
taken from Aristotle's biological opinions, according to which, the
male is the perfect type or standard pattern, and the woman is but a
defective model of man.
The woman was regarded as insignificant to the extent that Luther
said, "If women are tired or even die, it does not matter; let them
die during the operation of childbirth, because they are created only
for that."
Is woman a human being that has a soul like man?
In France, the French men of religion held a conference, i.e. the
abovementioned assembly of Bacon in 586 CE at which time the Prophet,
, was a youngman, to discuss whether the woman was to be regarded as a
human or non-human being, whether or not she had asoul, and if she did
have a soul, was it human or animal, and if it was human, was it equal
to orless than that of the man.Their final resolution wasthat she was
a human being, but was created only to serve man.
The woman is legally incompetent
According to French Post-Revolutionary Civil Law, a minor was a child,
or an insane person, or a woman. It remained so until it was modified
in 1938 CE, and it still has many restrictions on howthe married woman
should behave.
Hence, she had no right to possess any fixedestates or movable
assets,nor to open a bank account in her name, andeven after she was
allowed to open a bank account in her name, she had no right to
withdrawmoney from it by herself; rather, her husband had to come to
withdraw money for her from her account, just like what is done with
minor childrenand the insane.
Selling or lending thewife is legitimate
Until the end of the 10th century CE, there was in Britain a common
law that gave the husband the right to sell or lend his wife, or even
kill her if she had an incurable disease. If one knows that a farmer
would refuse to lend his cow to a friend, then what would he think
about the one who lends his wife to another man? Was the woman
regarded as so insignificant in their sight to the extent that they
made her inferior toan animal? Was the law intended to convert the man
into a cuckold and the woman into a prostitute? Did this law show
respect for the woman? Did this law givewoman superiority to an animal
or even a non-being? What kind of life was this law seeking for its
society and what kind of love did the church find in that law?
Pouring boiling oil over the bodies of women just for entertainment
was legitimate
In 1500 CE, a social council was formed in Britain to punish women,and
new means of punishing them were invented. Thousands of women were
burnt alive,and boiling oil was poured over their bodies merely for
the sake of entertainment.
There is no comment other than a question to be raised for
consideration: what was the position of a woman when men entertained
themselves by pouring boiling oil over her body?
Prohibition for a woman to read the Bible
During the time of King Henry VIII of England, parliament issued a
decree forbidding a woman from reading the New Testament, i.e. the
Gospel, for she was considered impure. If shewas impure for half of
her life because of menstruation in addition to seven days after every
menses, and this is why she was forbidden from holding and reading the
Bible, then what would one think about Christ, who used to enter the
privy, and during his early childhood, urinatedand excreted in his
clothes? Was a woman considered more impure than urine and excrement?
The woman had no right to citizenship
According to English common law, women, until the middle of the 19 th
century CE, were not considered "persons" or"citizens" who were
entitled to be called as such by law. They had no personal rights,
they had no right to possess the property they gained, or anything -
even the clothes they wore.
In 1567 CE, the Scottish parliament issued a decree stating that a
woman should not be given authority over anything.
The wife's price was half a shilling
Until 1805 CE, English law gave the man the right to sell his wife,
and priced her at sixpence, i.e. half a shilling. It happened that a
man sold his wife for 500 pounds in 1931 CE. In defending this
husband, his lawyer argued that in 1801 CE, English law priced the
wife at 6 pence, provided that the wife agreed on the sale. However,
the court replied that this law was abrogated by another law in 1805
CE that forbade selling or giving up wives. After deliberation, the
court ordered that the man who sold his wife should be imprisoned for
ten years.
Hadhaarat Al-Islam magazine mentioned in its second year (p.1078) that
an Italian man sold his wife in installments, and when the purchaser
did not pay the last installment, the seller killed him.
How to teach our kids Tawheed
When we want to teach our kids Tawheed (i.e. Islamic monotheism)
should we have to read classical texts and books in this regard?
No, this is not needed in the earlystages of their lives because this
requires long hours of attentiveness and hard work, which is difficult
for children.
Later in life, one can do so when their level of comprehension allows
them to grasp what is being read and said to them. Initially, one can
convey what he wants in the form of relating stories of the companions
of the Prophet who gave precedence to their faith and to worshipping
Allaah over living in their homelands and amongst their families and
tribes, and highlight that this was because the companions realized
that the reason why Allaah created us was for the sole purpose of
worshipping Him.
One may resort to other means ofteaching them, such as:
Utilizing Quranic study circles:
In such a case the parent may stop at certain verses which address a
specific aspect of Tawheed and explain it. An example for this is the
verses addressing the story of Prophet 'Eesaa and that he was not
crucified as the Christians claim, but the parent must choose simple
phrases that are within the level of the child's understanding and
comprehension.
Relating stories of the Prophet and his companions and other heroes in Islam:
Children like hearing stories, and thus the parents should take
advantage of this interest in them. One should not simply relate the
story without highlighting certain matters and emphasizing on the
lessons one can extract from these stories.
Commenting on some events:
One can remind the children withthe massacre that took place to the
Muslims in Bosnia and the atrocities that are currently taking place
to the Muslims in Palestine, Iraq and other places and make it clear
for them that their suffering is because of their faith and because
they are Muslims. This will make the child sympathize with his fellow
Muslims.
Exploiting certain situations:
When the child is ill, the parent can instill in him the principle
that Allaah Alone is the One Who can cure and that medicine is buta
means and that it is Allaah Whomade it a cause to cure. Clarify that
Allaah is The Only One who can benefit or cause harm, and He is the
only One to seek refuge in to lift any harm. Parents should exploit
all other situationsto instill different principles of Tawheed.
Setting a good example:
A parent could be a means to instill certain values and basics
ofTawheed through his or her conduct and actions. For example, a
parent may praise a person in front of his children only because he is
a righteous one or a one who fights Jihaad. Likewise, a parent may
dispraise another person because he is a disbeliever.
This clarifies to the children one of the principles of faith, and
thatis love and hatred are both done for the sake of Allaah and not
because so and so person deprived us form a job or money that we
wanted. Parents should be careful in front of their children lest the
children adopt a bad habit, because it is the parents who have the
most effective influence on the children.
Correcting wrong concepts or words:
During the child's daily activities, they may utter or do something
Islamically wrong or contradicting to Tawheed and it is the role of
the parents to correct them. The child may swear by other than Allaah,
and itbecomes mandatory upon the parents to clarify that this is a
form of disbelief and associating with Allaah, and so forth.
A child may hear at school that Santa is a nice man who brings gifts
and nice things, then the parents must explain that this Santa is a
symbol for non-Muslims (namely the Christians) and that he is nothing
but a myth made up by them, and that the only One Who Has the power to
benefit or cause harm is Allaah Alone.
Likewise, if the child sees on TV that a certain character controls
the wind or the rain, the parents must make it clear that this is
association with Allaah and that these are qualities that are
exclusive to Allaah.
These were some suggestions of simple and important means andmethods
through which parents can clarify aspects and principles of Tawheed to
their children.
--
- - - - -
And Allah Knows the Best!
- - - - -
Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
should we have to read classical texts and books in this regard?
No, this is not needed in the earlystages of their lives because this
requires long hours of attentiveness and hard work, which is difficult
for children.
Later in life, one can do so when their level of comprehension allows
them to grasp what is being read and said to them. Initially, one can
convey what he wants in the form of relating stories of the companions
of the Prophet who gave precedence to their faith and to worshipping
Allaah over living in their homelands and amongst their families and
tribes, and highlight that this was because the companions realized
that the reason why Allaah created us was for the sole purpose of
worshipping Him.
One may resort to other means ofteaching them, such as:
Utilizing Quranic study circles:
In such a case the parent may stop at certain verses which address a
specific aspect of Tawheed and explain it. An example for this is the
verses addressing the story of Prophet 'Eesaa and that he was not
crucified as the Christians claim, but the parent must choose simple
phrases that are within the level of the child's understanding and
comprehension.
Relating stories of the Prophet and his companions and other heroes in Islam:
Children like hearing stories, and thus the parents should take
advantage of this interest in them. One should not simply relate the
story without highlighting certain matters and emphasizing on the
lessons one can extract from these stories.
Commenting on some events:
One can remind the children withthe massacre that took place to the
Muslims in Bosnia and the atrocities that are currently taking place
to the Muslims in Palestine, Iraq and other places and make it clear
for them that their suffering is because of their faith and because
they are Muslims. This will make the child sympathize with his fellow
Muslims.
Exploiting certain situations:
When the child is ill, the parent can instill in him the principle
that Allaah Alone is the One Who can cure and that medicine is buta
means and that it is Allaah Whomade it a cause to cure. Clarify that
Allaah is The Only One who can benefit or cause harm, and He is the
only One to seek refuge in to lift any harm. Parents should exploit
all other situationsto instill different principles of Tawheed.
Setting a good example:
A parent could be a means to instill certain values and basics
ofTawheed through his or her conduct and actions. For example, a
parent may praise a person in front of his children only because he is
a righteous one or a one who fights Jihaad. Likewise, a parent may
dispraise another person because he is a disbeliever.
This clarifies to the children one of the principles of faith, and
thatis love and hatred are both done for the sake of Allaah and not
because so and so person deprived us form a job or money that we
wanted. Parents should be careful in front of their children lest the
children adopt a bad habit, because it is the parents who have the
most effective influence on the children.
Correcting wrong concepts or words:
During the child's daily activities, they may utter or do something
Islamically wrong or contradicting to Tawheed and it is the role of
the parents to correct them. The child may swear by other than Allaah,
and itbecomes mandatory upon the parents to clarify that this is a
form of disbelief and associating with Allaah, and so forth.
A child may hear at school that Santa is a nice man who brings gifts
and nice things, then the parents must explain that this Santa is a
symbol for non-Muslims (namely the Christians) and that he is nothing
but a myth made up by them, and that the only One Who Has the power to
benefit or cause harm is Allaah Alone.
Likewise, if the child sees on TV that a certain character controls
the wind or the rain, the parents must make it clear that this is
association with Allaah and that these are qualities that are
exclusive to Allaah.
These were some suggestions of simple and important means andmethods
through which parents can clarify aspects and principles of Tawheed to
their children.
--
- - - - -
And Allah Knows the Best!
- - - - -
Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
Sins of the Tongue - , Ruling on reviling someone in secret.
Is it permissible to revile someone, but in my ownheart and secretly,
in such a way that no one knows that I reviled So and so, such as if I
said to myself, "O So and so, O..., Why did you do such and such to me?"
Am I sinning if I do that?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Reviling and impugning may be either justifiable or unjustifiable.
Firstly:
If it is justifiable, such as if a Muslim is wronged inan obvious
manner, or isharmed in a way that cannot be denied, then there is
nothing wrong with warding off harm and enmity from oneself by
reviling and impugning, whether that is done secretly or openly,
without transgressing or overstepping the mark, although it is better
not to do that.
Allah, may He be exalted,says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Allaah does not like thatthe evil should be uttered in public except
by him who has been wronged. And Allaah is Ever All-Hearer,
All-Knower"
[an-Nisa' 4:148].
As-Sa'di (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Here Allah tells us that Hedoes not like evil to be uttered in public,
i.e., He hates that, dislikes it andpunishes for it. That includes all
bad words that may cause hurt and make people sad, such as reviling,
slandering, impugning and so on. Allof that comes under the heading of
forbidden things that Allah hates.
What is implied is that Allah loves good kinds ofspeech such as dhikr
andkind and gentle words.
"except by him who has been wronged" means, it is permissible for him
to pray against the one who has wronged him, and to make a
complaintabout him. He may speakout openly against the one who uttered
evil against him publicly, without telling lies about him and without
going any further in wrongdoing than he did. And he should not
overstep the mark and revile anyone other thanthe one who wronged him.
Yet despite that forgiving him and not responding in kind is
preferable, as Allah says: "but whoever forgives and makes
reconciliation, his reward is with Allaah"[ash-Shoora 42:40]. End
quote.
Tayseer al-Kareem ar-Rahmaan, p. 212.
Allah, may He be exalted,says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And indeed whosoever takes revenge after he has suffered wrong, for
such there is no way (of blame) against them.
42. The way (of blame) isonly against those who oppress men and rebel
in the earth without justification; for such there will be a painful
torment"
[ash-Shoora 42:41-42].
It was narrated from AbuHurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that
the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
said:
"When two people revileone another, the sin of what they say is on the
one who started it, so long as the one who is wronged does not
overstep the mark.". Narrated by Muslim, 2587.
The best supplication that the one who is wronged may offer concerning
the wrongdoer is that whichwas narrated from the Prophet (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) by Jaabir (may Allahbe pleased with
him) who said: The Messengerof Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) used to say: "O Allah, correct my hearingand my sight, and
allow me to retain them until I die. Lead me to victory over those who
have done me injustice and allow me to see vengeance."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/226; classed as saheeh
by al-Albaani. See ad-Du'aa' by at-Tabaraani, 1/421-426
Al-Khateeb ash-Sharbeeni (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If one person reviles another, it is permissiblefor the one who was
reviled to revile him back as much as he reviled him, because Allah,
may He be exalted,says (interpretation of the meaning): "The
recompense for an evil isan evil like thereof" [ash-Shoora 42:40]. It
is not permissible for him to revile his father or mother. It was
narrated that when Zaynab reviled 'Aa'ishah, the Prophet (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) said to her - as narrated in Sunan Ibn
Maajah and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani: "You should say something
to defend yourself." ['Aa'ishah said:] So I turned on her,until I saw
that her mouth had become dry, and she did not say anything back to
me. And I saw the Prophet (S) with his face shining. Rather all that
is permitted is reviling which does not involve lying or slander, such
as saying, "O wrongdoer" or "O fool", because hardly anyone is free
from these descriptions. Once a person has stood up to defend himself
by reviling the one who reviled him, then the matter is settled and
the first person is in the clear, but he has the sin of initiating the
exchange and the sin of transgressing the limits set by Allah.
End quote.
Mughni al-Muhtaaj, 4/157
But it is far better and closer to perfection to forgive, pardon and
overlook, in the hope that Allah will pardon us on the Day of
Resurrection, for the recompense will fit the nature of the deed.
Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof; but whoever
forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allaah. Verily,
He likes not the Zaalimoon (oppressors, polytheists, and wrongdoers)"
[ash-Shoora 42:40].
And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "O
'Uqbah ibn 'Aamir, uphold ties with those who cut you off, give to
those who withhold from you, and forgive those who wrong you."
Narrated by Ahmad, 4/158; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani, as-Silsilah
as-Saheehah, 891
It was narrated that 'Aa'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said
that a blanket of hers was stolen, and she started to pray against the
one who had stolen it. The Prophet (blessingsand peace of Allah be
upon him) said: "Do not reduce his burden of sin by making du'aa'
against him."
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1497; classed assaheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh
at-Targheeb, 2468
There are also reports from the Taabi'een that point to the
superiority of forgiving and overlooking in this world.
Al-Haytham ibn Mu'aawiyah said:
Whoever is wronged and does not retaliate inword or deed, and does not
bear resentment in his heart, that will be hislight among people. End
quote. Narrated by al-Bayhawi in Shu'ab al-Eemaan, 6/264
Secondly:
If the reviling and impugning is done unlawfully, i.e., as a result of
personal resentment or hatred based on malicious envy (hasad), or
because one dislikes a person's appearance, lineage, conduct or
anything elsethat results in people reviling and insulting others,
this is something that is clearly forbidden and comes under the
heading of slips of the tongue that consume (i.e., wipe out) good
deeds and incur punishment for bad deeds, whether it is done secretly
or openly.
It was narrated from 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ood (may Allah be pleased with
him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
"Insulting a Muslim is an evil action and fighting him is kufr."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari,no. 48; Muslim, 64.
It was also narrated from him (may Allah be pleased with him) that the
Prophet (sa) said: "The believer is not given to insulting, cursing a
great deal, obscene talk or foul speech."
Narrated by at-Tirmidhi, 1977; he said: it is hasan ghareeb. It was
classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi.
Al-Mubaarakfoori (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"The believer" means: the perfect believer
"is not given to insulting" i.e., criticizing people
"or cursing a great deal"i.e., cursing excessively, because the
perfect believer can hardly be free from some shortcomings
"obscene talk" i.e., he does not commit obscene actions or utter
obscene speech ??? next 2 lines
"or foul speech" al-Qaari said: this refers to the one who has no shame.
End quote.
Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi, 6/111
Thirdly:
If the reviling or impugning occurs in one's heart or mind, such as a
thought that crosses the mind without one meaning it to or uttering it
out loud- rather it is some passing thought or whispers that may come
to mind about reviling So and so, but he does not pay attention to it
orresolve to do it - then this comes under the heading of passing
thoughts that are forgiven, in sha Allah, because the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Allah has forgiven
my ummah for what crosses their minds so long as they do not act upon
it or speak of it."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari,4968l Muslim, 127
But there is the fear that of these thoughts become persistent and
settle in the heart, they may come under the heading of deeds of the
heart for which a personwill be brought to account.
Al-Qaasimi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
As for the effects of anger on the heart, such as resentment,
maliciousenvy, wishing ill, rejoicing in the misfortunes of another,
begrudging his happiness, resolving to spread his secrets and
transgress his privacy, making fun of him, and other evil actions,
these are the fruits of excessive anger.
End quote from Tahdheeb Maw'izat al-Mu'mineen, 312.
Al-Ghazaali (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It should be noted that thinking bad things is haraam, just like
saying bad things. Just as it is haraam for you to say bad things
about another person, you do not have the right to think bad things
about your brother and think negatively of him. What Imean is when one
formsa solid idea and decides that another person is bad and evil. As
for passing thoughts, they are forgiven. Thinking here refers to what
one focuses on and is inclined towards.
End quote.
Ihya' 'Uloom ad-Deen, 3/150. See also al-Adhkaar by an-Nawawi, 344
And Allah knows best.
in such a way that no one knows that I reviled So and so, such as if I
said to myself, "O So and so, O..., Why did you do such and such to me?"
Am I sinning if I do that?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Reviling and impugning may be either justifiable or unjustifiable.
Firstly:
If it is justifiable, such as if a Muslim is wronged inan obvious
manner, or isharmed in a way that cannot be denied, then there is
nothing wrong with warding off harm and enmity from oneself by
reviling and impugning, whether that is done secretly or openly,
without transgressing or overstepping the mark, although it is better
not to do that.
Allah, may He be exalted,says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Allaah does not like thatthe evil should be uttered in public except
by him who has been wronged. And Allaah is Ever All-Hearer,
All-Knower"
[an-Nisa' 4:148].
As-Sa'di (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
Here Allah tells us that Hedoes not like evil to be uttered in public,
i.e., He hates that, dislikes it andpunishes for it. That includes all
bad words that may cause hurt and make people sad, such as reviling,
slandering, impugning and so on. Allof that comes under the heading of
forbidden things that Allah hates.
What is implied is that Allah loves good kinds ofspeech such as dhikr
andkind and gentle words.
"except by him who has been wronged" means, it is permissible for him
to pray against the one who has wronged him, and to make a
complaintabout him. He may speakout openly against the one who uttered
evil against him publicly, without telling lies about him and without
going any further in wrongdoing than he did. And he should not
overstep the mark and revile anyone other thanthe one who wronged him.
Yet despite that forgiving him and not responding in kind is
preferable, as Allah says: "but whoever forgives and makes
reconciliation, his reward is with Allaah"[ash-Shoora 42:40]. End
quote.
Tayseer al-Kareem ar-Rahmaan, p. 212.
Allah, may He be exalted,says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And indeed whosoever takes revenge after he has suffered wrong, for
such there is no way (of blame) against them.
42. The way (of blame) isonly against those who oppress men and rebel
in the earth without justification; for such there will be a painful
torment"
[ash-Shoora 42:41-42].
It was narrated from AbuHurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that
the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
said:
"When two people revileone another, the sin of what they say is on the
one who started it, so long as the one who is wronged does not
overstep the mark.". Narrated by Muslim, 2587.
The best supplication that the one who is wronged may offer concerning
the wrongdoer is that whichwas narrated from the Prophet (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) by Jaabir (may Allahbe pleased with
him) who said: The Messengerof Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) used to say: "O Allah, correct my hearingand my sight, and
allow me to retain them until I die. Lead me to victory over those who
have done me injustice and allow me to see vengeance."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/226; classed as saheeh
by al-Albaani. See ad-Du'aa' by at-Tabaraani, 1/421-426
Al-Khateeb ash-Sharbeeni (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
If one person reviles another, it is permissiblefor the one who was
reviled to revile him back as much as he reviled him, because Allah,
may He be exalted,says (interpretation of the meaning): "The
recompense for an evil isan evil like thereof" [ash-Shoora 42:40]. It
is not permissible for him to revile his father or mother. It was
narrated that when Zaynab reviled 'Aa'ishah, the Prophet (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him) said to her - as narrated in Sunan Ibn
Maajah and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani: "You should say something
to defend yourself." ['Aa'ishah said:] So I turned on her,until I saw
that her mouth had become dry, and she did not say anything back to
me. And I saw the Prophet (S) with his face shining. Rather all that
is permitted is reviling which does not involve lying or slander, such
as saying, "O wrongdoer" or "O fool", because hardly anyone is free
from these descriptions. Once a person has stood up to defend himself
by reviling the one who reviled him, then the matter is settled and
the first person is in the clear, but he has the sin of initiating the
exchange and the sin of transgressing the limits set by Allah.
End quote.
Mughni al-Muhtaaj, 4/157
But it is far better and closer to perfection to forgive, pardon and
overlook, in the hope that Allah will pardon us on the Day of
Resurrection, for the recompense will fit the nature of the deed.
Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
"The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof; but whoever
forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allaah. Verily,
He likes not the Zaalimoon (oppressors, polytheists, and wrongdoers)"
[ash-Shoora 42:40].
And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "O
'Uqbah ibn 'Aamir, uphold ties with those who cut you off, give to
those who withhold from you, and forgive those who wrong you."
Narrated by Ahmad, 4/158; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani, as-Silsilah
as-Saheehah, 891
It was narrated that 'Aa'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said
that a blanket of hers was stolen, and she started to pray against the
one who had stolen it. The Prophet (blessingsand peace of Allah be
upon him) said: "Do not reduce his burden of sin by making du'aa'
against him."
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1497; classed assaheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh
at-Targheeb, 2468
There are also reports from the Taabi'een that point to the
superiority of forgiving and overlooking in this world.
Al-Haytham ibn Mu'aawiyah said:
Whoever is wronged and does not retaliate inword or deed, and does not
bear resentment in his heart, that will be hislight among people. End
quote. Narrated by al-Bayhawi in Shu'ab al-Eemaan, 6/264
Secondly:
If the reviling and impugning is done unlawfully, i.e., as a result of
personal resentment or hatred based on malicious envy (hasad), or
because one dislikes a person's appearance, lineage, conduct or
anything elsethat results in people reviling and insulting others,
this is something that is clearly forbidden and comes under the
heading of slips of the tongue that consume (i.e., wipe out) good
deeds and incur punishment for bad deeds, whether it is done secretly
or openly.
It was narrated from 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ood (may Allah be pleased with
him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
"Insulting a Muslim is an evil action and fighting him is kufr."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari,no. 48; Muslim, 64.
It was also narrated from him (may Allah be pleased with him) that the
Prophet (sa) said: "The believer is not given to insulting, cursing a
great deal, obscene talk or foul speech."
Narrated by at-Tirmidhi, 1977; he said: it is hasan ghareeb. It was
classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi.
Al-Mubaarakfoori (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"The believer" means: the perfect believer
"is not given to insulting" i.e., criticizing people
"or cursing a great deal"i.e., cursing excessively, because the
perfect believer can hardly be free from some shortcomings
"obscene talk" i.e., he does not commit obscene actions or utter
obscene speech ??? next 2 lines
"or foul speech" al-Qaari said: this refers to the one who has no shame.
End quote.
Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi, 6/111
Thirdly:
If the reviling or impugning occurs in one's heart or mind, such as a
thought that crosses the mind without one meaning it to or uttering it
out loud- rather it is some passing thought or whispers that may come
to mind about reviling So and so, but he does not pay attention to it
orresolve to do it - then this comes under the heading of passing
thoughts that are forgiven, in sha Allah, because the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Allah has forgiven
my ummah for what crosses their minds so long as they do not act upon
it or speak of it."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari,4968l Muslim, 127
But there is the fear that of these thoughts become persistent and
settle in the heart, they may come under the heading of deeds of the
heart for which a personwill be brought to account.
Al-Qaasimi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
As for the effects of anger on the heart, such as resentment,
maliciousenvy, wishing ill, rejoicing in the misfortunes of another,
begrudging his happiness, resolving to spread his secrets and
transgress his privacy, making fun of him, and other evil actions,
these are the fruits of excessive anger.
End quote from Tahdheeb Maw'izat al-Mu'mineen, 312.
Al-Ghazaali (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It should be noted that thinking bad things is haraam, just like
saying bad things. Just as it is haraam for you to say bad things
about another person, you do not have the right to think bad things
about your brother and think negatively of him. What Imean is when one
formsa solid idea and decides that another person is bad and evil. As
for passing thoughts, they are forgiven. Thinking here refers to what
one focuses on and is inclined towards.
End quote.
Ihya' 'Uloom ad-Deen, 3/150. See also al-Adhkaar by an-Nawawi, 344
And Allah knows best.
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