stories - I played with them: now I need their forgiveness

By the grace of God I'm an academically buoyant.I use to teach
students"English Language". My young age and manner of teaching
usually attract girls to me... Thereare these 3 girls that are friends
but I was oblivious of that. They began to develop some feelings
towards me individually and even sending me messages. As time goes on
I began to reciprocate the feelings. These 3 girls are very beautiful.
I was confused on whom to choose and the pressure they are mounting on
me was so much that I can't reject any of them.
The relationship lasted for about 2 years. Just few months ago I gave
my life to Christ. I summoned the girls and told them that it's all
over. But I told them this not simultaneously. When the girls sat
together discussing their"Boyfriend" who called them to tell them that
it's all over, they were surprised that the same ordeal happened to
themthe same time. The truth came to lime light when they discovered
that I'm their boyfriend.
This girls refuse to forgive me and now I'm apreacher. What do I do?

Salman al-Farsi - Biographies of the Companions (Sahabah)

This is a story of a seeker of Truth, the story of Salman the Persian,
gleaned, to begin with, from his own words:
I grew up in the town of Isfahanin Persia in the village of Jayyan. My
father was the Dihqan or chief of the village. He was the richest
person there and had thebiggest house.
Since I was a child my father loved me, more than he loved any other.
As time went by his love for me became so strong and overpowering that
he feared to lose me or have anything happen to me. So he kept me at
home, a veritable prisoner, in the same way that young girls were
kept.
I became devoted to the Magian religion so much so that I attained the
position of custodian of the fire which we worshipped. My duty was to
see that the flames of the fire remained burning and that it didnot go
out for a single hour, day or night.
My father had a vast estate which yielded an abundant supply of crops.
He himself looked after the estate and the harvest. One day he was
very busy with his duties as dihqan inthe village and he said to me:
"My son, as you see, I am too busy to go out to the estate now. Go and
look after matters there for me today."
On my way to the estate, I passed a Christian church and the voices at
prayer attracted myattention. I did not know anything about
Christianity or about the followers of any otherreligion throughout
the time myfather kept me in the house away from people. When I
heardthe voices of the Christians I entered the church to see what
they were doing. I was impressed by their manner of praying and felt
drawn to their religion. "By God," I said, "this is better than ours.
I shall not leave them until the sun sets."
I asked and was told that the Christian religion originated in
Ash-Sham (Greater Syria). I did not go to my father's estate thatday
and at night, I returned home. My father met me and asked what I had
done. I told him about my meeting with the Christians and how I was
impressed by their religion. He was dismayed and said:
"My son, there is nothing good in that religion. Your religion and the
religion of your forefathers is better."
"No, their religion is better than ours," I insisted.
My father became upset and afraid that I would leave our religion. So
he kept me locked up in the house and put a chain on my feet. I
managed however to send a message to the Christians asking them to
informme of any caravan going to Syria.Before long they got in touch
with me and told me that a caravan was headed for Syria. I managed to
unfetter myself and in disguise accompanied the caravan to Syria.
There, I asked who was the leading person in the Christian religion
and was directed to the bishop of the church. I went up to him and
said:
"I want to become a Christian and would like to attach myself to your
service, learn from you and pray with you."
The bishop agreed and I enteredthe church in his service. I soon found
out, however, that the man was corrupt. He would order his followers
to give money in charity while holding out the promise of blessings to
them. When they gave anything to spend in the way of God, however, he
would hoard it for himself and not give anything tothe poor or needy.
In this way he amassed a vast quantity of gold. When the bishop died
and the Christians gathered to bury him, I told them of his corrupt
practices and, at their request, showed them where he kept their
donations. When they saw the large jars filled with gold and silver
they said.
"By God, we shall not bury him." They nailed him on a cross and threw
stones at him. I continuedin the service of the person who replaced
him. The new bishop was an ascetic who longed for the Hereafter and
engaged in worship day and night. I was greatly devoted to him and
spent a long time in his company.
(After his death, Salman attached himself to various Christian
religious figures, in Mosul, Nisibis and elsewhere. The last one had
told him about the appearance of a Prophet in the land of the Arabs
who wouldhave a reputation for strict honesty, one who would accept a
gift but would never consume charity (sadaqah) for himself. Salman
continues his story.)
A group of Arab leaders from theKalb tribe passed through Ammuriyah
and I asked them to take me with them to the land of the Arabs in
return for whatever money I had. They agreed and I paid them. When we
reached Wadi al-Qura (a place between Madinah and Syria), they broke
their agreement and sold me to a Jew. I worked as a servant for him
but eventually he sold me toa nephew of his belonging to the tribe of
Banu Qurayzah. This nephew took me with him to Yathrib, the city of
palm groves, which is how the Christian at Ammuriyah had described it.
At that time the Prophet was inviting his people in Makkah to Islam
but I did not hear anything about him then because of the harsh duties
which slavery imposed upon me.
When the Prophet reached Yathrib after his hijrah from Makkah, I was
in fact at the top of a palm tree belonging to my master doing some
work. My master was sitting under the tree. A nephew of his came up
and said:
"May God declare war on the Aws and the Khazraj (the two main Arab
tribes of Yathrib). By God, they are now gathering at Quba to meet a
man who has today come from Makkah and who claims he is a Prophet."
I felt hot flushes as soon as I heard these words and I began to
shiver so violently that I was afraid that I might fall on my master.
I quickly got down from the tree and spoke to my master's nephew.
"What did you say? Repeat the news for me."
My master was very angry and gave me a terrible blow. "What does this
matter to you'? Go back to what you were doing," he shouted.
That evening, I took some dates that I had gathered and went to the
place where the Prophet hadalighted. I went up to him and said:
"I have heard that you are a righteous man and that you have
companions with you who are strangers and are in need. Here is
something from me as sadaqah. I see that you are moredeserving of it
than others."
The Prophet ordered his companions to eat but he himself did not eat
of it. I gathered some more dates and when the Prophet left Quba for
Madinah I went to him and said:"I noticed that you did not eat ofthe
sadaqah I gave. This however is a gift for you." Of thisgift of dates,
both he and his companions ate.
The strict honesty of the Prophetwas one of the characteristics that
led Salman to believe in himand accept Islam .
Salman was released from slavery by the Prophet who paid his Jewish
slave-owner a stipulated price and who himselfplanted an agreed number
of date palms to secure his manumission. After accepting Islam, Salman
would say when asked whose son he was:
"I am Salman, the son of Islam from the children of Adam."
Salman was to play an important role in the struggles of the growing
Muslim state. At the battle of Khandaq, he provedto be an innovator in
military strategy. He suggested digging aditch or khandaq around
Madinah to keep the Quraysh army at bay. When Abu Sufyan, the leader
of the Makkans, saw the ditch, he said, "This stratagem has not been
employed by the Arabs before."
Salman became known as"Salman the Good". He was a scholar who lived a
rough and ascetic life. He had one cloak which he wore and on which he
slept. He would not seek the shelter of a roof but stayed under a tree
or against a wall. A man once said to him:
"Shall I not build you a house in which to live?" "I have no need of a
house," he replied. The man persisted and said, "I know the type of
house that would suit you." "Describe it to me," said Salman. "I shall
build you a house which if you stand up in it, its roof will hurt your
head and if you stretch your legs the wall will hurt them."
Later, as a governor of al-Madain(Ctesiphon) near Baghdad, Salman
received a stipend of fivethousand dirhams. This he would distribute
as sadaqah. He lived from the work of his own hands. When some people
came to Madain and saw him working in the palm groves, they said,"You
are the amir here and your sustenance is guaranteed and you do this
work!"
"I like to eat from the work of my own hands," he replied. Salman
however was not extreme in his asceticism. It is related that he once
visited Abu ad-Dardaa with whom the Prophet had joined him in
brotherhood. He found Abu ad-Dardaas wife in a miserable state and he
asked, "What is the matter with you."
"Your brother has no need of anything in this world," she replied.
When Abu ad-Dardaa came, he welcomed Salman and gave him food. Salman
told him to eat butAbu ad-Dardaa said, "I am fasting."
"I swear to you that I shall not eat until you eat also."
Salman spent the night there as well. During the night, Abu ad-Dardaa
got up but Salman got hold of him and said:
"O Abu ad-Dardaa, your Lord has a right over you. Your family has a
right over you and your body has a right over you. Give to eachits
due."
In the morning, they prayed together and then went out to meet the
Prophet, peace be upon him. The Prophet supported Salman in what he
had said.
As a scholar, Salman was noted for his vast knowledge and wisdom. Ali
said of him that he was like Luqman the Wise. And Kab al-Ahbar said:
"Salman is stuffed with knowledge and wisdom--an ocean that does
notdry up." Salman had a knowledge of both the Christian scriptures
and the Quran in addition to his earlier knowledge of the Zoroastrian
religion. Salman in fact translated parts of the Quran into Persian
during the life-time of the Prophet. He was thus the first person to
translate the Quran into a foreign language.
Salman, because of the influential household in which he grew up,
might easily have been a major figure in the sprawling Persian Empire
of his time. His search for truth however led him, even before the
Prophet had appeared, to renounce a comfortable and affluent life and
even to suffer the indignities of slavery. According to the most
reliable account, he died in the year thirty five after the hijrah,
duringthe caliphate of Uthman, at Ctesiphon.

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And Allah Knows the Best!

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Disciplining Oneself

How can the Muslim discipline himself Islamically, especially if he
has shortcomings with regard to his religious commitment, which Allaah
knows bestabout?
Praise be to Allaah.
Acknowledging your shortcomings is one of the first steps in
disciplining yourself.
Whoever acknowledges that he has shortcomings has startedon the path
to self-discipline. This acknowledgement is one of the things that
make us discipline ourselves and be persistent in doing so. This
acknowledgement should not put you off disciplining yourself. It isa
sign of Allaah's care when a person tries to change himself and
develop, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Verily, Allaah will not change the condition of a people as long as
they do not change their state themselves"
[al-Ra'd 13:11]
So whoever tries to change for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will help
him to change.
Each person is individually responsible for his own self, and will be
questioned individually, as Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"There is none in the heavens and the earth but comes unto the Most
Gracious (Allaah) as a slave.
Verily, He knows each one of them, and has counted them a full counting.
And everyone of them will come to Him alone on the Day of
Resurrection (without any helper, or protector or defender)"
[Maryam 19:93-95]
Man cannot benefit fromwhat he has been told about goodness unless he
himself takes an interest in that. Do you not know the story of the
wife of Nooh and the wife of Loot, who were members of the households
of two Prophets, one of whom was one of the Messengers of strong will?
Imagine how these Prophets strove to guidetheir wives and how much
guidance these wives received, but there was no interest on their
part, so it was said to both of them:
"Enter the Fire along with those who enter!"
[al-Tahreem 66:10 – interpretation of the meaning]
Whereas the wife of Pharaoh – even though she was a member of
thehousehold of one of the greatest evildoers – is presented by Allaah
as an example to those who believe because shedisciplined herself.
The ways in which a Muslim can discipline himself are as follows:
1- Worshipping Allaah,keeping in contact with Him and submitting
to Him. That is done by paying attention to doing obligatory acts of
worship well, and cleansing your heart of any attachment to anything
other than Allaah.
2- Reading Qur'aan a great deal, pondering itsmeanings and seeking
to understand it.
3- Reading useful religious books that describe the ways of
treating and cleansing the heart, such as Mukhtasar Manhaaj
al-Qaasideen, Tahdheeb Madaarij al-Saalikeen and so on; reading the
biographies of the salaf (pious predecessors) andlearning about their
attitude and behaviour, such as Sifat al-Safwah by Ibn al-Jawzi and
Aynanahnu min Akhlaaq al-Salaf by Baha' al-Deen'Aqeel and Naasir
al-Jaleel.
4- Attending educational programs such as classes and lectures.
5- Making good use of your time and using it todo things that will
be of benefit in both worldly and spiritual terms
6- Not indulging too much in permissible things and not paying too
much attention to them.
7- Keeping company with righteous people and looking for righteous
companions, who can help you to do good. Those who live alone will
miss out on a lot of the characteristics of a good brother such as
preferring others to oneself and being patient.
8- Trying to act on what you learn and put it into practice.
9- Checking closely on yourself.
10-Having confidence in yourself – whilst relying on Allaah – because
the one who has no confidence cannot act.
11-Despising yourself fornot doing enough for the sake of Allaah. This
does not contradict the things mentioned above.Man has to strive hard
whilst still thinking that his efforts are not enough.
12-Practising withdrawal or isolation as prescribed in sharee'ah
(Islamic law). You should not mix with people all the time, rather you
must have some time which you spend alone, in worship as prescribed in
Islam.
We ask Allaah to help us and you to discipline ourselves and submit to
that which Allaah loves and is pleased with. May Allaah send blessings
and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad andupon his family and companions.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

If a couple died together in an accident, who inherits from whom?

I have a relative who died along with her husband in an accident when
they had only been married for about five months. This was her first
marriage but hehad another wife and sons and daughters, and when he
died (the first wife) was still married tohim.
My question is: who inherits from my relativewho was the second wife?
And what is to be included in her estate? Who is entitled to the gold
that her deceased husband gave to her at her wedding? Does it go to
her heirs or the heirs of the husband, or to both? How should it be
divided? Please note that he has sons and daughters, and a father and
siblings, and she hasa mother, two sisters and a brother.
With regard to the delayed portion of the mahr that was agreed upon in
the marriage contract, should the husband's family give it to her
heirs or is her andtheir right to it waived?
She had a separate house that the husband rented to be a marital home,
and he furnished it and equipped it; to whom should the furniture and
equipmentgo?
He also owned a house in which he and his first wife and children
lived; can my relative inherit any part of it and of what her husband
left behind, or not?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
When a person dies he may be inherited from by his living heirs, so it
isessential to establish whether the heir was still alive after the
person died. In the case asked about here, if it becomes clear to us
that one of the spouses died after the other, even by a short moment,
then the one who died later inherits from the first one, then the
inheritance passes to his or her heirs after that.
But if we do not know which of the two spouses died first, then the
majority of scholars are of the view that it cannot be proven that
they inherit from one another, so neither of them inherits from the
other, because one of the conditions of inheritance is that we should
establish that the heir was still alive after the death of the
deceased, and this condition is not met in this case.
So the husband's estate should be divided among his heirs, and his
wife does not inherit anything from him.
And the wife's estate should be divided among her heirs, and her
husband does not inherit anything from her.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said,
concerningthe ruling on a situation where a group of peoplewho would
inherit from one another died in an accident. He said: When that
happens, one of thefollowing five scenarios apply:
1. We know exactly who died last, so he inherits from those who
died first, and not the other way round.
2. We know that they all died at the same time,so there is no
inheritance among them, because one of the conditions of inheritance
is that the heir should still be alive after the death of the
deceased, de facto or de jure, but that is not the case here.
3. We do not know how they died; was it one after another or all
at the same time?
4. We know that they died one after another, but we do not know
exactly who died after whom.
5. We know who died after whom but then we forgot.
In the last three cases, they do not inherit from one another
according to the three imams [Abu Haneefah, Maalik and ash-Shaafa'i];
this is also the view favoured by al-Muwaffaq Ibn Qudaamah, al-Majd,
Shaykh Taqiy ad-Deen Ibn Taymiyah and our shaykhs 'Abd ar-Rahmaan
as-Sa'di and'Abd al-'Azeez ibn Baaz. This is the correct opinion,
because one of the conditions of inheritance is that the heir should
still be alive after the death of the deceased, de facto or de jure,
but this condition isnot met when it is not known. However the
Shaafa'is said that in the last scenario these decisions should be
delayed until they remember or agree, because remembering is not
something impossible.
End quote from Tasheel al-Faraa'id, p. 142, 143
Based on that, when dividing the wife's estate:
If the husband died afterthe wife, then he inherits from her, and her
estate is to be divided as follows:
The husband gets one half, the mother gets one sixth, and the
remainder goes to the brother and two sisters, with the male getting
the share of two females.
If we do not know whether the husband died after she did, then her
estate is to be divided among the mother and siblings as follows:
The mother gets one sixth, and the remaindergoes to the brother and
two sisters, with the male getting the share of two females.
With regard to this division of the husband'sestate:
If the wife died after he did, then she inherits from him and his
estate is to be divided as follows:
The two wives together get one eighth, the father gets one sixth, and
the children get the rest, with each male getting the share of two
females. The siblings do not get anything.
If we do not know whether the wife died after him, then she does not
inherit from him andhis estate is to be divided as mentioned above. So
the father getsone sixth, the first wife gets one eighth to herself,
and the children get the rest, with each male getting the share of two
females.
Secondly:
Your relative's estate is everything that she left behind of wealth
that she owned. That includes her mahr that was given to her, whether
it was gold or cash, as well as gifts that were given to her, because
they became her property.
With regard to the delayed portion of her mahr, this is a debt owed by
the husband, soit must be taken from hisestate and added to hers, then
divided among her heirs.
Also included in her estate is the diyah if the accident was caused by
an individual, whether itwas her husband or anyone else and her heirs
asked for the diyahor it was paid by the insurance.
With regard to the furniture and equipmentin the house, they belong to
the husband unless that was part of her mahr, as is customary in some
countries, or any part of it was given as a gift by the husband to his
wife.
Thirdly:
The husband's estate is whatever he left behind of wealth that
belonged to him. That includes thehouse that he owned. This estate is
to be divided among all his heirs.
With regard to this issue of inheritance, referenceshould be made to
the sharee'ah court so as to find out and list all thosewho are
entitled to inheritance and the estate, and to find out the
circumstances of death and which of the spouses died first. Because
there is a difference of scholarly opinion concerning inheritance
between thespouses in such cases, the one who should handle any cases
of disagreement among the heirs is the qaadi (judge).
And Allah knows best.

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And Allah Knows the Best!

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