A call for Justice - detail

A CALL FOR JUSTICE
The first root cause of our disagreement with the Deobandi scholars
with references to their books, is before you. It should be clear that
this basic cause of disagreement is concerned with (1) Insulting the
Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), and (2) Denial of the
necessities of Islam. And there is no doubt in their infidelity. A
number of verses of the Holy Qur'an bear testimony to the fact that
even a minor disrespect towards the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings
be upon him), breaks one's relation with faith and Islam. Under no
circumstances can superiority in knowledge or worship save one from
the evil consequences of insolence.
Here I will request my readers NOT to read the defamatory writings of
the Deobandi scholars with a view that it is justa religious dispute
between Bareilly and Deoband. Rather what must be kept in mind is that
the attack of the Deobandi scholars is upon the great personality of
the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). The attack of
their insolent pen is NOT uponthe Ahle Sunnah Bareillvischolars, but
especially on the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)
himself!
If you read these lines with a view that it is justa dispute between
the scholars of Bareilly and Deoband then the sincerity you need to
make a fair decision, willvanish. The purpose of my above request is
because to prefer the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)
above any other belovedperson is a requirement of our faith. Therefore
put aside the scholars of Bareilly for a while and ask your faithful
conscience the followingquestions: -
(a) Do the writings of the Deobandi scholarsattack the
sanctity of ourHoly Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), or not?
(b) Do these writings deviate from the basic requirements and
tenets of faith, or not?
If you have any doubt regarding the authenticity and the location of
the references given, you can yourself find and read them - these
books are openly available at bookshops, even to this day.
So what did the Ahle Sunnah Bareillvi scholarsdo? It was just that
after going through these defamatory writings of the Deobandi
scholars, the Ahle Sunnah Bareillvischolars openly displayed the
reaction ofthe unbearable distress and the spiritual agony that they
were made to suffer all of a sudden. The hurdle of relations did not
come in their way.
They contacted the Deobandi scholars and with authentic proofs asked
them to first seek repentance according tothe Shariah from those
writings - which vilify our Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon
him), and which deny the necessities of Islam - and secondly to delete
those writings from their books. But the spurious fame of the Deobandi
scholars came in their way and they preferred the everlasting
punishment of fire to the disgrace of this world.
A1) A Common Trait Among Those Who Disrespect The Holy Prophet (peace
and blessings be upon him).
Deviating from the above conversation, I would like to clarify a point
to my readers, trusting that the extra moments of waiting will not be
a burden upon them.
Going through the annals of history you willnotice a common trait
among those who were insolent towards the Holy Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him). After uttering or writing any blasphemous word
due to hypocrisy, insteadof seeking repentance for their infidelity,
they resort to wrong interpretations and verbal jugglery when they are
called to account and admonished.
During the era of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him),
the very same attitude existed in the hypocrites of Medinah. Once when
the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was returning froma
journey, the hypocritesused a derogatory word for him - and when the
Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) called them to account
after he was informed by the honorable companions, the hypocrites
resorted to giving wrong interpretations and lameexcuses. It was
revealed in the Holy Qur'an to the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings
be upon him) as follows: -
"Do not feign excuses, you have turned disbelievers after becoming
Muslims" (Surah Tauba -9:66 - from the Holy Quran's English
Translation"Treasure of Faith" by Mohammed Aqib Qadri)
Had the revelations not been going on, the hypocrites' fraud would not
have been disclosed and they would have concealed their infidelityby
reciting Kalema in theMuslim society.
A2) A Recent Example Of Verbal Jugglery
If you wish to know about the role of the hypocrites of Medinah inthe
present age, read about the Pro Vice Chancellor of Jamia MilliaIslamia
of New Delhi. In order to be called a supporter of secularism, he
expressed his views about the banned book of Salman Rushdie in an
interview for an English Magazine that "the ban on this book (Satanic
Verses) enforced by the Indian Government should be lifted because
everyone has a fundamental right to express his views."
The clear meaning of this phrase is that Rushdie cannot be calledto
account of the Blasphemy he has done in his book because he has a
fundamental right to express his views. In other words,
Mushir-ul-Hasan with his above phrase has openly supported the
disrespecttowards our Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).
The courageous and sacrificing students of Jamia Millia deserve praise
and applause. When they read the interview of Mushir-ul-Hasan, and
based on his crime of supporting ablasphemer, they joined hands in the
spirit of defending the honor of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings
be upon him) and demanded from the then Indian Government that since a
supporter of a blasphemer is also a blasphemer, Mushir-ul-Hasan should
be sacked from his post - and that they cannot tolerate a blasphemer
and cruel person at any cost.
As this was a question of defending the honor of our Holy Prophet
(peace and blessings be upon him), a large number of teachers of the
Jamia Millia became indifferentof the consequences andannounced their
supportwith the students. When the Muslims of Delhi learned about the
incident, a wave of hatred and detestation spread, and the people of
the city also started supporting the students. The manner in which
Anjuman-e-Raza of Zakir Nagar displayed their anger against
Mushir-ul-Hasan, gave correct advice to the students and encouraged
everyone, should be written down in letters of gold.
But The Scholars Of Deoband! Only accordingto the Deobandi
Scholars(among whom Maulvi Salim Ibne Qari Tayyab Sahab and Maulvi
AhmedAli Qasimi and the secretary general of Abna-e-qadeem
Dar-ul-Uloom Deoband Maulvi Fuzail Ahmed are worth mentioning) the
blasphemy of Mushir-ul-Hasan is NOT proved. This is evident from
theirjoint statement in the daily "Qawmi Awaz" dated 18 May 1992 as
follows: -
"The students should seein the light of Islamic teachings, whether the
one who is being termed an insulter of theHoly Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him), is really an insulter or not."
How regretful and astonishing it is, that thestudents and the teachers
of Jamia Millia and the general public who are not scholars understood
the blasphemy of Mushir-ul-Hasan, but the scholars of Darul Uloom
Deoband could not understand it - although the appeal of the
Chancellor Mr. Bashiruddin Ahmed about Mushir-ul-Hasan was published
on the last page of Qawmi Awaz, and the following excerpt from it
perfectly reveals the crime of Mushir-ul-Hasan.
"The Pro-Vice Chancellor of the Jamia, Prof. Mushir-ul-Hasan has
expressed his opinion about lifting the ban on this book (Satanic
Versesby Salman Rushdie). As this is a cause of annoyance, an
environment of anger and revolt has been created."
It is clear from the statement of the Vice Chancellor that the charge
of the students against Mushir-ul-Hasan is not baseless because he has
based his statement on the fact that every one has the right to freely
express his views. Therefore whatever Salman Rushdie has written
against our Holy Prophet(peace and blessings be upon him), is
Rushdie's permitted right. But it is a matter of great regret that
despite so much explanation, the Deobandi scholars consider
Mushir-ul-Hasan guiltless. The most important justification given by
them for his innocence isas follows: -
"The one who is being termed an insulter of theHoly Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him) has clarified that he is free from this sin and
has complete respect in his heart for the Holy Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him)".
The inanity of the Deobandi scholars is really pathetic that they do
not even know that in order to prove any charge, the confession or
admission of guilt is NOT required. His statements and the words he
has used are more than enough to prove his guilt - or else itshould be
pointed out where in the history of Islamic punishments has a criminal
been punished on the basis of his confession. Whoever has been
punished, has been punished on the basis of his words and statements.
Can Dar-ul-Ifta of Deoband prove that has anyone who was termed an
infidel byit because of uttering blasphemy, been made to confess his
infidelity? But it is obvious here that the Deobandi scholars would
not have uttered such immature statements if their love for the Holy
Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), had not beenovercome by the
motive of supporting Mushir-ul-Hasan. They have nowto answer what was
the reason of their supporting and advocating for Mushir-ul-Hasan.
We have referred to this event just to clarify to our readers how the
love of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), unites the
believers against the insulters - and how those whose hearts are
devoid of this noble spirit resort to indecent and ridiculous
interpretations in order to defend a blasphemer.
In order to expose the mentality of the blasphemers as well as their
supporters, I think Ihave swayed far from the main subject. I now
request you to direct your attention to the discussion in the previous
pages regarding the charges against the elders of Deoband for
insulting the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).
The very same thing happened at that time. In order to protect the
insolent writings of theirelders, the Deobandi scholars adopted a
stance of hostility and stubbornness, and with all their might began
propagating among the masses that they were completely free from
thecharges of blasphemy. And furthermore, they claimed that the
scholarsof the Ahle Sunnah Bareillvi school had created this entire
dispute and that the accusation against them - that of insulting the
Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) - is totally untrue,
and baseless.
They had a large numberof resources and means of communication at
their disposal. When people started getting influenced from their
false propaganda, we were left with no other option but to go for
discussions and debates and to reveal the fact that the charges on the
elders of Deoband school for writing insolent remarks againstthe Holy
Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), are NOT baseless, but in
fact a reality.
Therefore in every debate, the insolent writings of their elders were
read before them along with proper reference to the page numbers and
the Deobandi scholars never said that the books from which the
reference were given were not written by their elders or that these
insolent writings were not present in their books.
The most important benefit derived from these debates was that the
general public realized that the chargesof blasphemy on the Deobandi
scholars are based on solid grounds -and that the protest and
agitation of the Ahle Sunnah scholars which isreflected in their
speeches is to defend the honour of the Holy Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him).

A call for Justice - Part1

PART ONE
THE THREE FOUNDATIONS OF DIFFERENCES BETWEEN AHLE SUNNAH SCHOLARS &THE
DEOBANDI SCHOLARS:
The religious enmity between Deoband and Bareilly, and its
negativeeffects that are prominent from the press to the stage, and
which started in the previous century is not abaseless one. If your
mind is open to the truthread below the real foundations of the
differences of this religious dispute that has divided the Muslim
nation into two groups.
A) THE FIRST FOUNDATION OF DIFFERENCES (Insolent Writings Of Deobandis
Against The Holy Prophet- peace and blessings be upon him).
Everyone is aware that a Muslim has a very strong and devoted relation
with his Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). The belief
regarding the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is so
reverential and sensitive that a Muslim cannot bear any insult towards
the Holy Prophet. In order to protect his honor, the Muslims of the
subcontinent have offered sacrifices in every era and with such an
exemplary spirit that it is now a part of history. This aspect of a
Muslim's love for the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)
should be remembered -that while expressing anger and regret
againstthe insolent, a Muslim has never bothered to see who will be
targeted. Whoever commits any disrespect or blasphemy against our Holy
Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) - whether the individual is
an outsider or from among us - the swords of the Muslims have become
unsheathed against suchpeople.
The contemporary example of the outcast Salman Rushdie is beforeyou.
He made the entire Muslim world his enemy by attacking the honor of
our Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). Indeed all those
who gave numerous sacrifices to defend the donor of the Holy Prophet
(peace and blessings be upon him), deserve immense praise.
This itself is the main foundation of our anger against the scholars
of the Deobandi school - because their elders have written insolent
words and phrases against our Holy Prophet(peace and blessings be upon
him). A few examples of such insolent writings are as follows: -
1. The religious leader ofthe scholars of Deoband,Maulvi Ashraf Ali
Thanvi in his book entitled"Hifz-ul-Iman" (The Protection of Faith)
has compared the knowledge of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be
upon him), with the knowledge of lowly creatures such as animals and
beasts - andhe himself has confessedto this heinous crime! (May Allah
protect us!)
Learned people know that if anything is compared with a respectable
thing, it implies respect - whereas on the contrary, if anything is
compared with a disgraceful and shameful thing, it implies defamation
and disrespect. This principleis so well known and widely accepted in
the Urdu language, that no learned person can denythe authenticity of
this interpretation.
On this basis we claim that, beyond doubt, Mr. Thanvi is guilty of
insolence towards the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).
By comparing the knowledge of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be
upon him) with that of animals and lowly creatures, he has definitely
committed theheinous crime of insulting the Holy Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him).
2. The second and third leaders of the Deobandi school i.e. Maulvi
Khalil Ahmed Ambethvi and Maulvi Rasheed Ahmed Gangohi have written in
their book "Baraheene Qatia" (The Definite Proofs), that on the
issueof encompassing the knowledge of the earth, the knowledge of
Satan exceeds the knowledge of our Holy Prophet (peace and blessings
be upon him). Furthermore,they claimed that if one believes that the
knowledge of our Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)
exceeds that of Satan, such a person will become a "polytheist"
(Mushrik), because the vastness of Satan's knowledge is proven from
Qur'an and Hadith, whereas no such proof exists in respect of the
knowledge of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). (May
Allah protect us!).
In the above-mentioned case, there are no two opinions that assessing
the knowledge of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to
be inferior to that of Satan, is a blatant blasphemy and insolence
towards the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).
Similarly, it is a blatant insolence and a blasphemy to say that in
contrast to Satan, anyone who believes in the vast extent of the
knowledge of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is a
"polytheist" (Mushrik), but having the same belief about Satan is not
polytheism!
Likewise it is also a clear disrespect towards our Holy Prophet (peace
and blessings be upon him) to say that there is no clear proof in the
Qur'an on the vast extent of his knowledge, but there is proof in
Qur'an as well as Hadith regarding the vast knowledge of Satan!
3. The most important leader of the Deobandi school, and also the
founder of the Deoband Madressah i.e. Maulvi Qasim Nanotvi, in his
book "Tahzeer-ul-Naas" has refused to accept our Holy Prophet (peace
and blessings be upon him) as the Last Prophet - whereas to believe in
Prophet Mohammed (peace and blessings be upon him), as the Last
Prophet of Allah is proven both from the Qur'an and the Hadith.
He has gone to the extent of writing that"even if it were assumedthat
a New Prophet can come during the era of the Holy Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him), or after the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings
be upon him), it would not have an effect on the "Finality"
(Khatemiat) of our Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon
him)".Whereas every sane person can easily understand the simple
principle that the belief regarding the Finality of the Holy Prophet
(peace and blessings be upon him) gets negated upon the arrival of a
new Prophet. It is this very book of Maulvi Qasim Nanotvi - i.e.
"Tahzeer-ul-Naas" which the Qadianis term a precursor to validate
theprophethood of Mirza Gulam Ahmed Qadiani (May Allah protect us).
It should be clear that our dispute with Deobandi scholars on the
issue of Khatm - e- Nubuwat (The Finality ofProphethood) is not a
secondary one, but is regarding Islamic principles and is fundamental.
It is not concerned just with the permissibility (hillat) or
prohibition (hurmat), but with infidelity and Islam.

A call for Justice

ALLAH - In The Name Of - The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful. A CALL
FOR JUSTICE
This book is written for all those:
· Who sincerely want to know about the differences between the
scholars of the Ahle Sunnah School and the scholars of the
DeobandiSchool and who wish to remove the real obstacles towards
unification.
· Who in their private meetings address these serious and principled
differences as (1) a deceit of the Maulvis, (2) a means of making
money, (3) a way of making a living etc., - and who receive applause
from the people, for expressing such thoughts.
· Who, despite being highly educated, consider making attempts at
understanding and removing such differences as a waste oftime.
· Who consider the differences between the Ahle Sunnah scholars and
the Deobandi scholars, as merely trivialor secondary.
· Who spend their scholarly and research capabilities in clarifying
and interpreting the insolent writings of the Deobandis. (Perhaps
religion will remain incomplete without suchexplanations!)
· Who consider researching the differences between the Ahle Sunnah and
Deobandi scholars just a waste of time, whereas at the same time they
are the most zealous advocators of unification!
· Who consider that Teejah (meals for the poor on the third day of
passing away of a Muslim), Daswaan (mealsfor the poor on the tenth day
of passing away of a Muslim), Chaleeswan (meals for the poor on the
fortieth day of passing away of aMuslim), and visits to mausoleums are
the actual differences between the Ahle Sunnah scholars and Deobandi
scholars.
· Who consider the publication and sale of literature based on
blasphemous and insolent writings, as the most important service to
Islam!
· Who feel uneasy at the mention of religious differences, but who
spend all their physical and monetary resources in tolerating and
solvingwith elegance all their official problems and business affairs.
· Who advise that as per the circumstances, disputed writings &
problems should not be discussed - but do not render this advice to
the institutions that are ceaselessly publishing such literature.
· Who term the issues of (a) Respecting our Holy Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him), (b) The status of the HolyProphet (peace and
blessings be upon him), (c) The attributes of the Holy Prophet (peace
and blessings be upon him), (d) Veneration of the Companions and of
the members of the family ofthe Holy Prophet (peace and blessings be
upon him), (e) Sainthood and (f) other Islamic issues, as
"Sectarianism" perpetrated by the Ahle Sunnah school of thought - and
in this way such persons intentionally or unintentionally support
infidelity and heresy.
· Who understand the real causes of the differences and have thetrue
spirit of presenting a program on the national (or international)
level, through which the wide gulf of differences can be bridged and
an initiative can be taken towards unification.
If you have a soft corner in your heart for the scholars of Deobandi
school, the obvious effect of reading this booklet will be that you
will close it and put is aside with frustration. However, if you are a
great thinker and have the spirit for searching facts by going deep
into events, you will definitely attempt to find out why the
foundations of this dispute were laid - and what are the causes owing
to which the dispute still continues allover the world, after so many
years.
If the dispute was limited to a few people, it could be ignored by
considering that personal or family interests may be involved - but
the range of this dispute is so widethat not only the whole country
(Indian Sub Continent) but a very large region abroad has been dragged
into it. From mosques to religious schools (madressahs), all aspects
of our religious life havebeen so deeply affected by it that from
villages tocities, the entire country has been divided by it.
Therefore the real reasons that actually started the dispute cannot be
overlooked byjust terming it just as an individual strife between
Bareilly and Deoband.
Regretfully until now historians have not attempted make an impartial
research into the real basis of our dispute with the scholarsof the
Deobandi school - a dispute which is going on among millions of
Muslims at home and abroad since the last several decades. Due to it,
the entire Muslim society has fallen prey tospiritual agony and
confusion. Can there be a greater mockery of ourinnocence that our
protest is termed as"Spread of Dissension", whereas it the right of
every innocent individual to disclose his anger and sorrow?
After these introductory words, we now present the details of this
religious dispute before our readers trusting thatthey will ascertain
the real causes in light of what is written here below. Even if
reading this booklet is a burden on you, I would still request you to
read the details, because a seekerof the truth does not have a bias
towards any group.

--

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And Allah Knows the Best!

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Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA

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stories - A Prodigal Tale

He left at night, taking with him a changeof clothes, a blanket, and a
small bag of money which he found in his father's room. He travelled
until dawn and then all of the next day and well into the following
night, pursued by thoughts of his angry and vengeful father. His route
led south towards the holy city, following the roads he knew from the
yearly pilgrimage his family were rich enough to make. The land rose
around him in broken shadows, ragged heights of limestone, sparse
ground, uncultivated andsporadically populated, the occasional
shepherds'village buried in the valleys where goats roamed the scrub.
On the evening of the third day, exhausted and hungry, he stood
watching the sun slip beyond the horizon, casting its last rays over
the broad expanse of a lake. His sense of guilt had not left him but
thoughts of his angry father had ceased to torment him, diminishingin
intensity as the distance from home increased. A mist was rising off
the lake. Grass tufts, long and heavy with seeds, stood dry
andyellow-silvery in the fading light. Autumn flowers thrust their
crowns above the grass, including one of which he did not know the
name, a head of pale trumpets spread out on along stalk, its white
petals glowing faintly in the dusk. A tent flap clattered in the
rising wind and sand drifted across the clearing, driven in little
runs and gusts. He drew the edge of his cloak tighter acrosshis mouth.
The sounds of the caravan he had joined earlier that afternoon were to
his back. He could hear the mutter of conversation. Blue smoke coiled
away from a fire of camel dung. Some of the women were tending a stew
of meat and vegetables.
The sound of feet approaching awakened him. One of the men had
come over to ask if he would like some food. Hefollowed to where a
group of travellers sat in a circle around the fire and ate
gratefully. It was his first meal since leaving home. He watched the
others, theirfaces mostly in shadow, wondering what they thought of
him, a stranger who had come amongst them from the hills. Had they
believed his story about a religious obligation, a prayer answered?
They had accepted him easily enough. They could know nothing for
certain.
< 2 >
On the eighth day the caravan approached the walls of the city,
climbingthe steep slopes through small peasant fields and olive
groves, past square,flat-roofed, mud houses, the hills stretching away
into the distance. His firstthought on entering the gate was to find a
room. He approached a small inn in one of the unpaved lanes off the
main thoroughfare. The room he was offered wassmall, but he had little
money and did not yet know where more wouldcome from. He planned to
look for work, to live quietly for a while, until he had thought out
whatto do. The woman of the inn regarded him out of her round, black
eyes, her grey hair tied back from her darkly freckled face. He felt
suddenly fearful of her. It was almost as though she knew his reason
for being there, knew the whole story of how he came to be standing
before her with his cloak and few bundled possessions. Worse still,
she seemed complicit in his secret. He had thought to pass as a simple
traveller but suddenly confronting thiswoman's mocking gaze he knew he
was marked. A feeling of dread possessed him. He made an excuse about
having to change money and went out. She made no reply.
The shadows of the northern wall engulfed him, its bleak
battlementstowering above him. The memory of the old woman clung to
him like a horrible dream. It was agood hour before he could shake off
the sense of panic and fear. He wandered, drifting aboutthe city,
until tiredness overcame him. Now he rested on his haunches, his back
against a wall in a small street of fruit and vegetable stalls. Out of
the passing multitude appeared a dishevelled youth, a dirty blanket
around his shoulders. Theyouth sat beside him and they exchanged
hesitant greetings. The other had been longer on the road and his face
was thin andlined. They spent the night in a field on the outskirts of
the city, the earth uncultivated and full of weeds. His new companion
was to show him much in those first few days, opening to himthe
streets and alleys of the city.
< 3 >
That night he had the first of the dreams which for months
plagued his sleep; dreams filled with violent and erotic images. In
this first dream he was trying to save a child from a life of
prostitution and shame. He rode away with her on a mule but then lost
her in the darkness only to find her mutilated body lying naked in the
road. Many of these dreams were populated with dead women as wellas
with swords, snakes and flight; ciphers of his guilt. Because the
presence of these imageswas so shocking, he imagined that his secret
must be transparent to everyone around him. At night he slept lightly,
part of him always mindful lest he should give something away in his
mutterings, or wake screaming.
But at first the effect of these dreams was nothing compared to
the poverty. Destitution camehard to him having known only luxury all
his life. The small amount of money he had brought with him soon ran
out and he was forced to begin order to feed himself. Then one day he
found himself a party to theft. Standing by a butcher's stall, his
companion suddenly said to him, 'Quick, run'. Looking up he saw that
the boy had seized a chicken from beside the stall. He felt his
stomach tense as he broke into a run. They dived into the first
alleyway to the right, descending into the shadows, turning right
again through a low arch, across a courtyard and over a low wall.
Thenthey ran on down the adjoining lane. His companion must have
thought the route out beforehand. They kept running until they were
sure they were not beingfollowed. There had beenshouts and a
half-heartedattempt at pursuit but that seemed all.
When they eventually stopped it was because they could not run
any further. His side was doubled with a stitch, his lungs bursting,
his heart swelling as though it would explode. He felt sick and
vomited while his chest continued to heave painfully. His companion
lay sprawled in a doorway holding his sides. He was laughing and
pointing at the pool of vomit. 'Hell, what wereyou running from?' he
asked.
< 4 >
After this he stole regularly. Though he ate infrequently it was
enough. He slept rough in abandoned houses, in the street, sometimes
outin the fields. His poverty depressed him and the dreams became more
frequent and intense. He began drinking wine of the cheapest and
roughest sort. He was now submerged in the underworld of the city.
Most of the people he spent time with were drunkards like himself,
living by stealing, the women by hustling. Each had his or her story,
elaborated and embellished over so many years the teller no longer
knew where the truth ended and the lies began. Though they banded
together out of need for each other, few confided the true reason for
his being there. Amongst this shifting group of outcasts he had no
real friends. He spent a lot of time on his own. Even when with others
he was withdrawn, alonein their midst, quietly brooding.
One particular eveninghe sat with a group under a tree drinking.
Hereached out for a jar of wine which stood to his right. His hand
found the earthenware jar and he dragged it towards him across the
ground. As he did so one of the girls leaned over him.
'No more,' she said. He tried to fend her off with his arm but
found he didn't have the strength. 'You've had enough, you'll be sick
again.' She took hold of the neck of the jar as he tried to raiseit to
his mouth. She was too strong for him and he lay back against the
stony earth, the girl's face appearing above him. She was young but
little of youthfulness remained to her. He closed his eyes, feeling
the tears wanting to come. He lay still, wishingthat she might release
him from the prison of his silence. If only she would ask him what the
matter was, and persist in asking until she had got an answer. But she
simply sat there watchinghim, perhaps angry at hisfoolishness, or
indifferent, not wanting to burden herself with his problems.
Thus he went on from day to day, finding ways to occupy himself
for hours at a stretch. He walked for miles around the city with his
head bowed, or simply sat, staring into the dust at his feet. Need of
money forced him to beg and to steal. If he was lucky someone would
take pityon him and buy him wine. His once smooth and youthful face
became sunken and dark,and his eyes, often jaundiced and
bloodshot,bulged in their sockets. His clothes were torn andstained,
his body thin and bruised.
< 5 >
The Feast of Passover came and thousands of pilgrims gathered,
filling the inns and camping in the environs of the city. He stayed
away from them, knowing his familywould be somewhere amidst the
throng. For safety he moved outside of the ritually clean areas. His
family could not wander here withoutrendering themselves unclean for
the ceremonies and this they would not do. He was secure in his own
uncleanness. On the few occasions when he did venture into the city it
was never to a place where someone might know him. He did not liketo
go into the busy thoroughfares. Most of the day he lay in the fields
watching. In the distance he could see the steady column of smoke
rising from the Temple area. White and blue figures moved in the haze,
the sun reflecting from whitewashed walls, the grey smoke rising and
dispersing in the clear sky. The noise of thegreat crowd carried
across to him, the sound of voices, of bells and cymbals, and
sometimes of chanting.
He was cut off from it all and the sense of dispossession
oppressed him. It was not that he was particularly religious. He had
never been fervent in his observance, or strong in his beliefs. What
troubledhim was not spiritual pain, but simply a sense of no longer
belonging. He left the fields and wandered for an hour through the
back streets and alleyways where he came on an itinerant preacher
proclaiming to anyone who would listen. The holy man was in his
mid-twenties, bearded and simply dressed. His face had a severe,
ascetic angularity,but his hands were long and slender and he gestured
as he spoke with great gentleness. 'A father always has room in his
heart to forgive a son who repents,' the preacher was saying. It was a
phrase caught in passing and barely registering in his mind. But the
words had found a place in his thoughts, like seeds in the crevice of
a wall. The encounter lasted a few minutes onlyand was soon forgotten.
In the following days his mental condition worsened. Secrets
contained for so long were now demanding audience. He had eaten
practically nothing for a week and had little appetite. Wine eased his
hunger. He had grown thinner, more lethargic, and found it
increasingly difficult to concentrate. On the last night of the Feast
he had the first of many visions. He was sitting in the corner of
aninn completely drunk. A woman he knew came over towards him, her
eyes heavily darkened with makeup. He smelled the sweetness of her
unwashed body as she placed the palm of her hand against his face.
< 6 >
'Why don't you stop drinking?' she asked. He heard someone
laughing,he felt nauseous. The woman stroked his cheek, and then his
hair, looking into his face. He bowed his head and moved slightly
aside. A triangle of light fell from a gap between the curtain and the
doorframe, highlighting the head and shoulders of a man across the
room. The man was laughing, his mouth wideopen and the lips drawn back
to reveal an irregular set of decaying teeth. As he tried to focushe
saw that there was noflesh on the head at all. The teeth jutted
straight out of bone, the lower jaw hanging slack, the eyes empty
sockets beneath the shadow of the brow.
The skull turned towards him grinning with the fixed expressionof
a mask. He closed his eyes to rid himself of the image, but when he
opened them again the skull was still there, staring at him. Then the
skull spoke: 'I could tell her all about you,' it said.'I could tell
her everything.' He closed hiseyes again and pressed his hands to his
ears and this time when he lookedagain the skull was gone.He rose
unsteadily, pushing the girl aside. People watched him uncertainly.
When he gotoutside he was shaking and was violently sick.
The effect of the visionon his subsequent conduct was marked. He
tried over the next few weeks to stay sober, wrestling with the
agonising need for drink.He tried to eat though it made him ill. Then
by a piece of sheer chance he was offered a job on a farm north of the
city. He worked in the dusty fields pruning vines and olive trees, the
rough branches cutting his hands. He earned enoughfor his keep, living
on vegetables and bread, which were cooked and served collectively to
the labourers.
He had now stopped drinking but his mental condition continued to
deteriorate. He had visions regularly. Often the birds would talk to
him, or devils in the form of birds, taunting him with their
accusations. On one occasion the roots of an olive tree he was tending
became a nest of vipers writhing around his feet. In the midst of the
snakes was awoman's brooch. He reached down to pick it up but as he
touched the glinting object it turned into a stone and the snakes
vanished. After a month of labouring in the fields he was moved to the
position of swineherd. He fed the pigs, cleaned out their enclosure
and herded them up the hillside where they rooted in the shade of the
olive groves.At night he slept with them for warmth.
< 7 >
One evening late that summer, at the time of the evening meal, he
wassitting apart from the other labourers, absorbed as usual in his
own thoughts. The men were huddled on the other side of the courtyard,
talking quietly. Suddenly his attention was arrested bythe hand
gestures of one of them. The man turned towards him and he recognised
the preacher he had stopped to listen to months before. The tallfigure
moved towards him and he heard the words 'the father always has room
in his heart.' The preacher's lips did not move. It was as though the
words had been spoken directly intohis mind. A shadow fell across him
and there wasthe man standing before him, his hands hanging loosely at
his sides, the sun behind giving him a kind of aura. The idea of
repentance which had lain dormant so long began to shoulder its way
into the light of consciousness. When at last the presence faded he
wept.
At the height of the summer, sickness broke out in the community.
It struck quickly. Within a week two of the labourers lay dead, their
bodies swollen and blotchy. A third man died a day later, and then a
child. A grave was dug beyond the farm and fires burned all day. The
community was in turmoil. The women wept and prayed for hours
together, and there was talk of divine punishment. The priest came
several times with incense and there were offerings in an attempt to
placate the evil. Seeingand hearing all this filled him with terror.
He began to talk to himself, though no one could make out exactly what
hewas saying. It seemed that he had convinced himself he was the cause
of the plague, that he carried the evil now venting itself on those
around him. Many thought he was possessed by a devil and wanted to
turn him out. There was talk and speculation about his past. It was
with some relief that the communityawoke one morning to find he had
gone.
It was the child's deaththat drove him away. Shewas nine years
old. He was present when the father carried the body wrapped in an old
cloak from the house. The child's arm had fallen loose from the
makeshift shroud and had seemed to point at him. Whichever way the
body was turned the arm followed him. The women were keening and
hugging each other while the men stood greyfaced and upright watching
the solemn procession. The father placed the body on top of the fire,
while other men threw on more brushwood. The flames leapt, eating at
the dry cloth. Some of the wood slipped and the body rolled slightly
so that the arm, which had been folded back across the girl's chest,
slipped free and lay pointing accusingly at him again. He half
expected the child to get up and denounce him. He watched transfixed
as the fire enveloped the frail human form. When the fire burned down
he helped to shovel the ash into the grave.
< 8 >
He left that night, taking some food in a leather satchel and his
master's donkey. By the time the sun had begun to rise over the
eastern hills he was already descending from the highlands and was
miles away from possible pursuers. He rode for several days, drinking
from wells and skirting the tiny villages on his route. The sparse
terrain had been seared by the long hours of oppressive heat. Only
near water didanything green flourish. Everywhere else the vegetation
was dry and yellowed. At night he slept dreamlessly.
All day the sun blazed down on him out of a cloudless sky as he
trudged into the evaporating distance of the plains. The road was
thick with dust, in places so deep the donkey had difficulty walking
and they had to leave the track and go onto the rougher, stonier
ground to the side. But it was an interior world which occupied all of
his attention. Memories fromthe past wove themselvesinto an intricate
tapestry in which images of sin and repentance were dominant. He
thought once more of the inn keeper's wife and of howhis guilt had
plunged himinto this purgatory. He saw visions repeatedly, of the
preacher, of his father, of the dead child.
He had ridden for five days without eating. His body ached and he
was covered with dirt and sweat. The donkey was tired and walked
slowly while he rolled in the saddle, slipping at times into a state
of semi-consciousness. Partsof the dream of his first night in the
city flooded his mind. The girl was with him now, sitting behind on
the donkey and he was taking her back home. But they seemed to be
going slower and slower. She was complaining that he did not love her,
that if he did love her they would be able to go faster. He tried to
nudge the donkey into a trot but they seemed to be sinking into the
road. Then he felt the girl slip from behind him. By the time he was
able to turn round she had fallen unconscious on the ground, her arm
pointingaccusingly in his direction. She was burning, flames spreading
around her. Then the preacher appeared above the fire saying: 'the
father alwayshas room in his heart.'
< 9 >
He woke suddenly andfound that they had stopped in the shadow ofa
large rock. He pressed the donkey to walk on but the animal refused
tomove. In the distance he could see a group of low buildings. It was
well intothe afternoon now and he dismounted and began to stumble
towards the village. His eyes stung in the heat and he felt dizzy from
lack of food. His lean facelooked sickly under its coat of grime as he
staggered along the stony track in his ragged tunic. He was mumbling
incoherently to himself, and at one point thoughthe saw the preacher
waiting for him by the distant buildings. Then he fell unconscious in
themiddle of the path.
The dogs found him four hours later, swollen with plague. The
villagerswere terrified and left him where he was until they could get
a priest. The following morning the holy man approachedcautiously, the
people of the village a few paces behind. The stranger lay gaunt and
grey in the dust. His clothes were nothing but soiled rags, his eyes
wide open and staring.