stories - The beauty and the male-virgin

Hi,
I was in a situation that totally confused me and I'll be happy if you
help me with an advice. I'm dating a 23-year-old guy,nothing special
on the outside. I'm with him because he is an interesting person –
froma psychological point of view. For the first time I meet such a
shy man. All in all, we are absolutely different. In other words,I'm
too impulsive, warm-blooded and energetic for him. But this is not my
point! We won't be together forever. That's clear! But for me sex was
never a taboo topic. I may say that my sexual experience is very rich.
And sex is of huge importance.
So, when I wanted to have sex (on the third date, I admit), he
literally knocked me out saying, "I'm a virgin!" I thought he was
joking, but, alas, Iwas wrong. There are too many things that prove
this fact.
Now, I'm waiting for an advice. Is there any point of going deeper,
with mebeing "the teacher" (not that I'm not fond of challenges ;). Or
should I turn my back on the boy's potential, risking loosing "the
unpolished diamond". Generally, I'm a patient type of person, but I
strongly doubt that this boy (that I'm not attached to) deserves such
efforts.

stories - I wish you won't blameme

My love,
Sinful, secret, insatiable. You came and shattered my life as a spring
storm, you hurled away my peaceful days and nights.You keep a tight
rein on me and lead me in an unknown direction.
Where will I find myself? Who can give me the answer? The curtain of
the future is closed and I can't see the end of this love – sudden,
temporary, forbidden. I love you! I love you to distraction with that
sinful love of a married woman, torn apart between the allowed andthe
forbidden, the workday and the expectation. I have a family, a child –
you are single.
Sad and terrifying, isn't it?
I can't do anything to change your life the way you dream about it.
Don't blame me.
God, please help me.
Why did I let my heart be captured in that bottomless net from which
there's no escape?
But could I've commanded it?
Months had to pass until Irealized that what I felt wasn't just an
infatuation, an innocent flirt but something real and deep.
I restrained myself not to pass over the barrier for a long time. I
tried to be the master of my actions. But alas…
I found out that true loveis not ruled by reason. Emotions command
everyhuman thought and action. And when reason fights emotions life
turns into hell, and each day becomes endless suffering…
May be time will heal me,may be my heart will findrest.
But right now I don't need a remedy, I don't need a rest!
I love these stolen moments that make me happy.
There are memories which remain for a lifetime. They always return to
our thoughts and hearts and time is powerless to erase them.
It wasn't me but life that made the choice for me. And you know that,
don'tyou? Don't blame me. I'm not leaving…
My memories and my love will always be as youwill always be with me… for life….
I love you!

Will a Muslim who is killed wrongfully or treacherously or as a result of his house collapsing on him be a martyr?

I know if a Muslim is killed by defending himself against an enemy
then insha Allah he dies as a martyr. Also if he dies by drowning,
stomach disease he also dies as a martyr. However if a Muslim is
killed unexpectedly without being able to defend himself, for instance
if he was killed from behind him would he still be considered as a
martyr? Also in the case of the Gaza bombings, the Muslims that are
killed by being bombed in their houses without expecting it, therefore
not being ableto defend themselves are they also considered as
martyrs?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Every Muslim who is killed wrongfully will have the reward of the
martyr in the Hereafter, but in terms of this world, he is to be
washed and the funeral prayer offered for him, and he is not to be
dealt with in the same manneras one who was killed inbattle.
It says in al-Mawsoo'ah al-Fiqhiyyah (29/174):
The fuqaha' are of the view that wrongdoing or injustice mean that the
one who is killed in such ways is deemed a martyr, but not in the same
sense as the martyrwho is killed in battle with the kuffaar. Kinds of
unlawful killing include one who is killedby thieves, criminals or
bandits; one who is killed defending himself or his wealth or his life
or his religion or his family or the Muslims or ahl al-dhimmah
(non-Muslims living under Muslim rule); or one who is killed trying to
prevent injustice; or one who dies in prison who has been imprisoned
unlawfully.
They differed as to whether he is regarded as a martyr in this world
and in the Hereafter, or as a martyr in the Hereafter only.
The majority of fuqaha' were of the view that the one who is killed
unlawfully is to be regarded as a martyr in the Hereafter only. He
comes under the same ruling as the martyr in battle with the kuffaar
in the Hereafter with regard to reward, but hedoes not come under
thesame ruling in this world, so he is to be washed (ghusl, after
death) and the funeral prayer is to be offered for him. End quote.
In order to attain the reward of the martyrs it is not essential for
the one who is killed to havebeen in a confrontation with those
aggressors. If they kill him unawares, then he will be deserving of
the reward of the martyrs, in sha Allaah.
Among the evidence for that is the fact that 'Umar ibn al-Khattaab was
stabbed by Abu Lu'lu'ah al-Majoosi whenhe was leading the Muslims in
Fajr prayer, and 'Uthmaan ibn 'Affaan was killed by those who had
rebelled against him unlawfully, and the Prophet (blessings and peace
of Allaah be upon him) described them as martyrs.
It was narrated that Anasibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him)
said: The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) climbed
up Uhud, accompanied by Abu Bakr, 'Umar and 'Uthmaan, and the mountain
shook with them. He struck it with his foot and said: "Stand firm, O
Uhud, for there is no one on you but a Prophet or a Siddeeq or two
martyrs." Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3483).
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-'Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on
him) said: By "Prophet" he was referring to himself, "Siddeeq" was Abu
Bakr and the "two martyrs" were 'Umar and 'Uthmaan, both of whom(may
Allaah be pleased with them) were slain asmartyrs. 'Umar was
killedwhen he was leading the Muslims in Fajr prayer, and he was
killed in the mihraab. 'Uthmaan was killed in his house. May Allaah be
pleased with them both and join us and the righteous Muslims with them
in the abode of eternal bliss. End quote.
Sharh Riyadh al-Saaliheen, 4/129, 130
Secondly:
With regard to our brothers in Gaza whose houses collapsed on them, we
hope that theywill be martyrs for two reasons:
1. They were slain unlawfully
2. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said:
"the one who is crushed beneath a falling wall is a martyr." Narrated
by al-Bukhaari (2674) and Muslim (1914).
We would not be exaggerating if we add a third reason, which is that
they were killed by the kuffaar on the battlefield, so they will be
martyrs in this world and in the Hereafter, because all of Gaza was a
battlefield.
Prof. 'Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Gharmaan ibn 'Abd-Allaah (may Allaah
preserve him) said:
The view of the majority of Hanafis and Hanbalis, the correct view
according to the Maalikisand the view of the Shaafa'is is that the one
who is slain in war but not on the battlefield is a martyr in the
general sense, regardless of the way in which he was killed, whether
he was unaware or sleeping, whether he was engaged in fighting or not.
What seems to me to be the case -- and Allaah knows best -- is that
the view of the majority is correct, because there is no clear
evidence that the killing should be in battle. End quote.
Ahkaam al-Shaheed fi'l-Fiqh al-Islami, 103-106
We ask Allaah to accept them as martyrs and to defeat the Jewish
aggressors and enable us to prevail over them so that we might rule
over them in accordancewith His justice.
And Allaah knows best.

Is it obligatory for him to migrate from the West when his mother and family need him?

I need some good advice. Praise be to Allah, I am in a situation where
it is possible for me to go to the Kingdomof Saudi Arabia and
fulfilthe obligation of Hajj. I have two master's degrees and also a
bachelor's in teaching English as a foreign language, and the Kingdom
of Saudi Arabiawill accept me as an English-language teacher, in sha
Allah. I have got some good offers and I am about to leave.
But my mother is ill with fourth stage cancer and my father travels a
great deal for his work. I have younger brothers and a sister, but
they are very young and cannot help my mother and meet herneeds. My
mother loves my wife and my child and she wants to be always near
them, but my mother does not want to live in Saudi Arabia; she wants
to complete her treatment here in the USA, and she hates "the Arab
race"! I do not want to live in the USA more than that, because I fear
for my religious commitment. If I stay I will work in a mixed high
school whichis a source of fitnah (temptation). I am very anxious
because they could prevent me from praying Jumu'ah. There is a Muslim
community very near my family (Masjid at-Tawheed in Atlanta), but I do
not want to live in the West any more. I also have a debt (student
loan) that Ihave repay and I know that it will be impossible to pay it
in this country, but in Saudi Arabia I maybe able to save money insha
Allah.
What should I do?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
We ask Allah to make you and your family steadfast in adhering to
Islam and to enable you to obey Him. The one who is able to adhere to
his religion in these days– especially in the West –is like one who is
holding onto a hot coal. You have to fear Allah in secret and in
public, and hasten to do good. Ask Allah a great deal to make you
steadfast and Allah will help you and protect you.
The Muslim has to migrate for the sake of his religion from the lands
of kufr and shirk. This life is very short andno one knows when his
time will be up and death will come to him.
It was narrated that Jareer ibn 'Abdullah said:The Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "I have nothing to do
with any Muslim who settled among the mushrikeen."
Narrated by at-Tirmidhi, 1604; Abu Dawood, 2645. Classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi.
For more information onthis topic, please see the answer to question no. 27211 .
What appears to be the case is that there is nothing wrong with
youremaining in that country, at least during this period, until your
mother's treatment is over or you convince herto move with you, or
sheno longer needs to have you beside her. That will fulfil a number
of purposes, in sha Allah, namely:
1. Pleasing your mother, which is in accordance with Islamic
teachings to treat one's mother kindly, take care of her and honour
her. Allah says (interpretationof the meaning): "And your Lord has
decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you bedutiful to your
parents. If one of them or both ofthem attain old age in your life,
say not to thema word of disrespect, norshout at them but address them
in terms ofhonour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and
humility through mercy, and say: My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as
they did bring me up when I was small" [al-Isra' 17:23-24].
2. Being in charge of treatment for your mother. Perhaps you
willnot be able to find anyone who could take care of her and look
after her affairs except yourself, and perhaps your absence would make
her grief, pain andsickness even worse. This action is a kind of
jihad. It was narrated that 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr said: A man came to the
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and asked him for
permission to go for jihad. He said: "Are your parents alive?" He
said: Yes. He said: "Then your jihad is with them." Narrated by
al-Bukhaari,2842; Muslim, 2549.
3. Your staying is also in the best interests of your younger
brothers and sisters, because theyneed constant care and advice. They
are far removed from temptation at present, and they need someone to
teach them to adhere to righteousness and chastity.
With regard to what yousaid about the debts thatyou owe, whoever gives
up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will compensate him with
something better than it.Allah, may He be exalted,says (interpretation
of the meaning):
"And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And
whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him"
[al-Talaaq 65:2-3].
See also the answers to questions no. 5046 , 169551
Secondly:
What matters is not the amount of money; rather it is the barakah
[blessing] that Allah instils in it. If Allah blesses a small amount,
it will suffice you, but if He takes the barakah away from a large
amount, you will be poor.
You do not have to workin a place in which thereis mixing; rather try
to find work in an Islamic centre, for example, or serving the Muslim
community, or other types of work that free of things that are not
allowed.
You should move to the Muslim community that is close to your family,
asyou mentioned. That willbe good for you and for your family.
All of this applies if it is too difficult for you to convince your
mother and father to migrate. If you can do that, then do not hesitate
to leave andmigrate, so as to protect your religious commitment,
yourself and your honour.
There is nothing wrong with your taking them for 'Umrah or Hajj; this
may open the door to good for you and for them. It may make them
change their minds about living in the country and it may change their
opinion about "the Arab race." We ask Allah to choose good for you and
to helpyou to attain it.
And Allah knows best.

--

- - - - -

And Allah Knows the Best!

- - - - -

Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA

¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤