Based on the advices of Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat
prepared by Brother Aslam Patel
"You have never seen anything better than marriage for those who
love." (Ibne Mãjah)
Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat dãmat barakãtuhum advises:
1 . Every action is dependant upon intention. When marrying, both
partners should therefore make a firm intention to accomplish the
followingobjectives:
*. Following the Sunnah of our beloved Nabee Muhammad s.
*. Safeguarding oneself from sins.
*. Parenting pious children.
2 . When marrying, each becomes the other's lifetime companion.
Eachshould understand and appreciate that Allah S has brought them
both together and that their destiny in life has now become one.
Whatever the circumstances: happiness or sorrow; health or sickness;
wealth or poverty; comfort or hardship; trialor ease; all events are
to be confronted together as a team with mutual affection and respect.
No matter how wealthy, affluent, materially prosperous and
"better-off" another couple may appear, one's circumstances are to be
happily accepted with qanã'at ( contentment upon the Choice of Allah
S). The wife should happily accept her husband, his home and income as
her lot and should always feel that her husband is her true beloved
and best friend and well-wisher in all family decisions. The husband
too should accept his wife as his partner-for-life and not cast a
glance towards another.
3 . Nowadays, the husband reads about, and is well-informed of his
rights and demands them. Similarly, the wife reads of her rights and
expects them. However, both should concentrate on being aware of each
other's rights and then strive to fulfil them. This is the
prescription for a prosperous marriage andeverlasting love.
4 . During the first year ofmarriage, the couple must try and spend as
much time as possible together. This is especially true for the first
two months as it provides an opportunity to understand each other's
temperaments and establishes a firm foundation which contributes
towards securing a prosperous marriage.
5 . The couple (especially the husband) must make a point to arrive
home early after 'Ishã Salãh and scrupulously avoid the habit of
socialising with friends late into the evening. Wherever possible,
business, employment and other activities should be concluded
beforehand orcurtailed in order to set aside time for spending
together.
6 . Mutual respect between husband and wife should not be lost. They
should each be veryparticular about following the Deen right from the
initial stages of married life. This will alsoensure a religious
environment for the children to be nurtured in, contributing greatly
towards their successful upbringing.
7 . True and everlasting prosperity is only possible for Muslims when
they follow the Sunnah of Rasoolullah s in all affairs. The couple
too, should adhere to theteachings of Rasoolullah s in all their
matters and abstain from anything which contradicts them. Careful
attention should be given to this in their intimate relationship
too.Inshã'allah this will be anassured approach to acquiring the
blessing of pious offspring.
8 . In the initial stages of marriage, the love between the couple is
a physical bond, wherein emotional changes take place all the time.
Despitegreat passion and physical love for each other, affection
between the couple is not yet well established or on a rational basis.
Such rational love comes after many years together. It istherefore
extremely important for the husband not to succumb to emotional
weaknessesat the onset and let the marriage waver towards an
irreligious direction. Both the husband and wife should make a pledge
to each other to steadfastly follow the Deen, especially in the
performance of Salãh and in avoiding all sins.
9 . Marriage is like the weather, forever changing. Sometimes it
iscloudy and rainy, life appears gloomy, then thesun appears and rays
of happiness break throughbringing joy. At times, one experiences
rain, wind and sunshine all in one day. Such is life, and like the
seasons, we go through different experiences. The secret isto remain
devoted and steadfast to one's Deen and spouse.
10 . The husband should be sympathetic to the fact that his wife has
left her parents, brothers andsisters to start a new life with him.
Her sacrifice and her feelings should be respected and joy should be
felt by both partners at the expansion of their families.
Just as the wife should treat her husband's parents as her own, he
should also extend affection, courtesy and respect to his new in-laws.
11 . As soon as one experiences a problem, no matter how trivial,
which remains unresolved for more thanthree days, consult a person who
is both knowledgeable and yoursincere well-wisher.
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Islam is a religion of Mercy, Peace and Blessing. Its teachings emphasize kind hear tedness, help, sympathy, forgiveness, sacrifice, love and care.Qur’an, the Shari’ah and the life of our beloved Prophet (SAW) mirrors this attribute, and it should be reflected in the conduct of a Momin.Islam appreciates those who are kind to their fellow being,and dislikes them who are hard hearted, curt, and hypocrite.Recall that historical moment, when Prophet (SAW) entered Makkah as a conqueror. There was before him a multitude of surrendered enemies, former oppressors and persecutors, who had evicted the Muslims from their homes, deprived them of their belongings, humiliated and intimidated Prophet (SAW) hatched schemes for his murder and tortured and killed his companions. But Prophet (SAW) displayed his usual magnanimity, generosity, and kind heartedness by forgiving all of them and declaring general amnesty...Subhanallah. May Allah help us tailor our life according to the teachings of Islam. (Aameen)./-
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Thursday, November 15, 2012
Key Advice for the Newly Wed
Marriage Breakdown
Nowadays, the general trend governing marriages is that the husband
views his responsibility towards hisfamily as being a purely
materialistic one i.e. to provide financially for them (a house, car,
clothes, etc). This attittude is resulting in many marriages breaking
down since many husbands are seriously deficient in not spending
sufficient time with their families – in communicating and interacting
with the family and children. Islam presents a different viewof the
role of the husband, where he is made responsible for the Islamic
nurturing and development of his wife and children as well as their
psychological and moral welfare.
In actual fact the time which he spends with hisfamily is not only a
responsibility but an act of Ibaadat for which he will be rewarded.
Sad to note that despite this, many husbands become restless and seek
every opportunity to withdraw from their families by, among other
things:
*. Spending a great deal of time watching sportson TV
*. Spending many afternoons and evenings 'with the boys' at THE CLUB
*. Going off at weekends to play golf or fishing.
It also often transpires that if the wife (reluctantly) agrees to an
arrangement allowing the husband regular time'with the boys' the
opportunity is used for other purposes e.g. conducting illicit
relationships (adultery), etc.
He seeks more and more to be away from his family and should the wife
raise even the mildest objection, he usually reacts with a great
temper tantrum. Sadly, many wives endure this torture of loneliness
and neglect with a great deal of bitterness and sorrow, tolerating
their miserablecondition because they have no where else to go. How
often have you heard a tearful wife say, 'He's got more time for his
friends than for me'.
BROTHER HEED THIS WARNING:
If you are guilty of this type of behaviour then you will have no one
but yourself to blame if your marriage hits the rocks. CHANGE NOW!
There can never be a limit to the love and attention that you can give
to your wifeand children. Aside from Deeni activities and basic
business activities, devote yourselves towards your wife and children.
It will pay excellent dividends.
Allah's Messenger (Sallallaahu layhi Wasallam) said, 'The best of you
is he who is best to his family'. (Mishkat)
views his responsibility towards hisfamily as being a purely
materialistic one i.e. to provide financially for them (a house, car,
clothes, etc). This attittude is resulting in many marriages breaking
down since many husbands are seriously deficient in not spending
sufficient time with their families – in communicating and interacting
with the family and children. Islam presents a different viewof the
role of the husband, where he is made responsible for the Islamic
nurturing and development of his wife and children as well as their
psychological and moral welfare.
In actual fact the time which he spends with hisfamily is not only a
responsibility but an act of Ibaadat for which he will be rewarded.
Sad to note that despite this, many husbands become restless and seek
every opportunity to withdraw from their families by, among other
things:
*. Spending a great deal of time watching sportson TV
*. Spending many afternoons and evenings 'with the boys' at THE CLUB
*. Going off at weekends to play golf or fishing.
It also often transpires that if the wife (reluctantly) agrees to an
arrangement allowing the husband regular time'with the boys' the
opportunity is used for other purposes e.g. conducting illicit
relationships (adultery), etc.
He seeks more and more to be away from his family and should the wife
raise even the mildest objection, he usually reacts with a great
temper tantrum. Sadly, many wives endure this torture of loneliness
and neglect with a great deal of bitterness and sorrow, tolerating
their miserablecondition because they have no where else to go. How
often have you heard a tearful wife say, 'He's got more time for his
friends than for me'.
BROTHER HEED THIS WARNING:
If you are guilty of this type of behaviour then you will have no one
but yourself to blame if your marriage hits the rocks. CHANGE NOW!
There can never be a limit to the love and attention that you can give
to your wifeand children. Aside from Deeni activities and basic
business activities, devote yourselves towards your wife and children.
It will pay excellent dividends.
Allah's Messenger (Sallallaahu layhi Wasallam) said, 'The best of you
is he who is best to his family'. (Mishkat)
The Bond of Holy Love
An extract from Az-ZaujusSalih (The Pious Husband)by Mujlisul Ulama of
South Africa
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "The noblest of you are those who
are the noblest to their families…"
"Verily, among the most perfect Believers in Iman are those who are
best incharacter and kindest to their wives."
Even lifting a morsel of food to the mouth of the wife has been given
the significance of ibadat. It is an act of love by which the husband
derives thawab (reward in the Hereafter).
It was part of the Uswah Hasanah (Noble character) of the Prophetصلى
الله عليه وسلم to engage in light hearted talk with his wives. Hadhrat
Abu Hurairah رضى الله تعالى عنه said:
Allah loves a man who caresses his wife. Both of them are awarded
thawab because of this loving attitude and their rizq (earning) is
increased."
A man is rewarded for even a drink of water he presents to his wife.
According to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم the mercy of Allah Ta'ala
cascades on a couple when the husband glances at his wife with love
and pleasure and she returns his glance with love and pleasure.
When a husband clasps the hand of his wife withlove their sins fall
from the gaps between their clasped fingers. Even mutual love between
husband and wives serve as a kaffara (expiation) for sins. The Prophet
صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
"When a man enters his home cheerfully, Allah creates, as a result of
his happy attitude, an angel who engages in istighfar (prayers of
forgiveness) on behalf of the man until the day of Qiyamah."
May Allah give us the ability to act upon the above, ameen.
Al-Mar'atus Salihah (The Pious Wife) is also published by Mujlisul
Ulama, both books can befound in the English language and have been
described as the islamic prescription for a happy and successful
marriage , the blessings and rewards of which extend into even the
Hereafter.
--
- - - - -
And Allah Knows the Best!
- - - - -
Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
South Africa
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "The noblest of you are those who
are the noblest to their families…"
"Verily, among the most perfect Believers in Iman are those who are
best incharacter and kindest to their wives."
Even lifting a morsel of food to the mouth of the wife has been given
the significance of ibadat. It is an act of love by which the husband
derives thawab (reward in the Hereafter).
It was part of the Uswah Hasanah (Noble character) of the Prophetصلى
الله عليه وسلم to engage in light hearted talk with his wives. Hadhrat
Abu Hurairah رضى الله تعالى عنه said:
Allah loves a man who caresses his wife. Both of them are awarded
thawab because of this loving attitude and their rizq (earning) is
increased."
A man is rewarded for even a drink of water he presents to his wife.
According to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم the mercy of Allah Ta'ala
cascades on a couple when the husband glances at his wife with love
and pleasure and she returns his glance with love and pleasure.
When a husband clasps the hand of his wife withlove their sins fall
from the gaps between their clasped fingers. Even mutual love between
husband and wives serve as a kaffara (expiation) for sins. The Prophet
صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
"When a man enters his home cheerfully, Allah creates, as a result of
his happy attitude, an angel who engages in istighfar (prayers of
forgiveness) on behalf of the man until the day of Qiyamah."
May Allah give us the ability to act upon the above, ameen.
Al-Mar'atus Salihah (The Pious Wife) is also published by Mujlisul
Ulama, both books can befound in the English language and have been
described as the islamic prescription for a happy and successful
marriage , the blessings and rewards of which extend into even the
Hereafter.
--
- - - - -
And Allah Knows the Best!
- - - - -
Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
Ruling on singling out ‘Ashoora for fasting
Is it permissible to fast 'Ashoora' only without fasting the day
before orthe day after?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] said: Fasting the day of 'Ashoora' is
expiation for one year, and it is not makrooh to single out this day
for fasting. Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, part 5.
In Tuhfat al-Muhtaaj by Ibn Hajar al-Haythami it says: There is
nothing wrong with fasting 'Ashoora' on its own. Part 3, Baab Sawm
al-Tatawwu'.
The Standing Committee was asked this question and replied as follows:
It is permissible to fast the day of 'Ashoora' on its own, but it is
better to fast the day before it or the day after it. This isthe
Sunnah that is proven from the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him), as he said, "If I am still alivenext year, I will
certainly fast the ninth." Narrated by Muslim, 1134.
Ibn 'Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: He meant, along
with the tenth.
And Allaah is the Source of strength.
Al-Lajnah al-Daa'imah li'l-Buhooth al-'Ilmiyyah wa'l-Ifta', 11/401.
before orthe day after?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] said: Fasting the day of 'Ashoora' is
expiation for one year, and it is not makrooh to single out this day
for fasting. Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, part 5.
In Tuhfat al-Muhtaaj by Ibn Hajar al-Haythami it says: There is
nothing wrong with fasting 'Ashoora' on its own. Part 3, Baab Sawm
al-Tatawwu'.
The Standing Committee was asked this question and replied as follows:
It is permissible to fast the day of 'Ashoora' on its own, but it is
better to fast the day before it or the day after it. This isthe
Sunnah that is proven from the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him), as he said, "If I am still alivenext year, I will
certainly fast the ninth." Narrated by Muslim, 1134.
Ibn 'Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: He meant, along
with the tenth.
And Allaah is the Source of strength.
Al-Lajnah al-Daa'imah li'l-Buhooth al-'Ilmiyyah wa'l-Ifta', 11/401.
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