stories »An unposted letter

You are not mine…
The minutes spent with you… and then you were gone, you disappeared,
you steamed away. Only the thought of the touch of your lips brings me
back to life, your hands call me, your eyes are filled with passion.
And I get so tiny and tender.
I have never felt this way.A man like you has never been a part of my
life, probably because I've never been ready for that.
I feel you with my mind, with every single cell of my body. I can
touch you with my thought. I perceive myself through you when you
gently touch me with your body, when my hands are filled with you and
you penetrate inside of me. We used to form a bright star together, a
star which would burst into milliard pieces, each carrying the
pleasure of our moments.
You are the one and only.
I wake up smiling because your name is gently coming out of my lips.
Sometimes it seems to methat if I open my eyes youwill appear next to
me. I know it's just an illusion and I keep my eyes closed, saving the
memories of these morning visions…I dreamonly of one thing – to wake
up again lying nextto you, to feel you even without touching you and
to admire your body,still unawakened but so beautiful under the rays
of the morning sun. And to seduce you with almost elusive movements,
while takingpleasure in the sensation of your closeness…
You are still sleeping, I'll restrain my hands to saveyour morning
dream. Thelight smile appearing on your face, your eyes still closed,
fills me with delight and I start anticipating how gently you will
look at me.
I want to meet the morning with you. You open your eyes hesitantly.
You are still not aware that I'm here, beside you, waiting for your
embrace. In that wonderful morning, in your joyful astonished eyes
appeared what I came for. For the sake of it I would go through fire,
and rain, and fog……I'm no longer there, I've melted in your eyes lit
upwith happiness.
I waited for you so long….. I waited. I tore my soul, cried while
singing, covered the sky with poems. But only now I realized that
Winter can turn into Summer, that the sun canshine at night, and Stars
can appear in the daytime. And you are no longer mine.
Once more I'll look for you, once more I'll fall asleep and wake up
with your name on my lips, I'll burn sleepless, I'll quenchmy thirst
in the memoriesof our meetings. But no more, not for anything inthe
world will I give anyone that tender-sweet pain of parting, forthis is
my life, my sorrow,my love…

stories »I hate you because I love you, and it hurts of this…!

I hate you so much!
I hate you, because you make me fall asleep in tears every night… and
with each tear I hate you more, because it hurts me more. I hate you,
because you frozen the blood in my veins…and you made the smile vanish
of my face.
I hate you, because any object is reminding of you … and you left my
soul rambling naked. I hate you so much, that your name leaves me
breathless, but when I hear it the hope for tomorrow is taken away. I
hate your shadow – your silhouette is e reflection of everything I
watch with contempt.
I hate you because I fell in love with you! I hate you because I can't
stand without you. I hate you because you steal my heart and you make
it incapable of loving somebody else. I hate you because you are so
far away from me… and the memory is burning me out.
I hate you because my life is senseless without you! I hate you
because everything beautiful is related with you and… with love. I
hate you because
I love you and it hurts of this…!

stories »Am I jealous or is he a flirt?

I'm trying to find the answer to this question and it's really hard
for me, believe me!
I truly love my husband with whom we've been married for 8 years, the
first 3 of which we spent living separately in different countries.
Now we are already together. In the beginning everything was perfect
and I even feared sharingthis with others because people say "it's too
good to last".
So, I've noticed recently that when we are in a company with
handsomemen my husband is constantly around me and he is very kind and
affectionate to me. I find this normal and I'm quite pleased with it.
I considerthis the right attitude to a wife. I like showing my
feelings towards him in front of people and I'm very happy when they
notice it. The problem is that when we are in a company with
attractive women he changes abruptly – he stops touching me at all,
even keeps a distance, or if I show in some way or another that he is
my beloved husband he is unpleasantly surprised and stands as if
frozen, while his attitude to the other women is more than friendly.
There have been cases when he has spoken to a woman for about 10-15
minutes and haven't even looked at me meanwhile. (to say nothing of
including me in the conversation!). Sometimes I hesitated on leaving
the place in orderto see if he will notice myabsence. I think this
will probably last at least an hour or until he sees some handsome guy
around.
Whenever he meets a woman he will greet her with a hug, in which I
find nothing bad, but after that he will study her from head to toe
while talking to her. Another issue is that when a woman calls him on
the phone he becomes so enthusiastic that you may think this is the
happiest day in his life. However when I call him he gets so awfully
indifferent. And this happens when I'm tellinghim his favorite team
haswon an important game.
After this description of the situation (not mentioning many other
similar cases and the bad thing is unpleasant memories get more and
more) I'm asking you to help me see if I'm too jealous.
I will appreciate this a lotbecause right now I'm onthe verge of a divorce.

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And Allah Knows the Best!

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Published by :->
M NajimudeeN Bsc- INDIA

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Khawaja Qutabud-Din Bakhtiar Kaki (R.A) - Sufism Biographies

One of the most distinguished sufi in the Chishtia Order, he was the
chief of Chishti saintsin Delhi. He was born in Ush then an important
commercial town. Qutabud Din was an infant when his fateh Kamalud Din
Ahmad Musa died, and his noblemother became totally responsible for
the upbringing of her orphan son. Learning half the Quran by heart
under Aba Hafs, he committed be memory the remaining 15 parts after he
had settled in Delhi. As he grew in years. Qutabud Din Bakhtiar became
increasingly devoted to Ibadaat and meditation. His mother arranged
his marriage, left for Baghdad where he become murid of Hazrat Khawaja
Moinud Din Chishti. After his pir's departure from Baghdad, Qutabuddin
Bakhtiar also left the place, traveled throught was patron saint of
Multan with whom Qutabuddin Bakhtiar had cordial relations. During
Qutab Sahib's stay in Multan, the city was designed by the Mongol
hordes. Nashiruddin Qabacha then rule of Multan sought Khawaja
Qutabuddin's help against the enemy. Giving him an arrow, theKhawaja
told him to shoot the arrow blindly into the enemy's camp. Qabacha
obeyed, and the following day the Mongol army retreated. He did not
accede to Qabacha's request for hispermanent stay in Multan and
sometime after 1221 C.E., Khawaja Qutubuddin left Multan for Dehli.
Khawaja Qutabpromoted and established the Chishtia silsila with zeal,
energy and endeavour in Delhi and its surrounding areas where eminent
ulema and prestigious divines had settled after migration front the
areas devastated by the Mongols.
Sultan Shamsuddin Altitmush offered high office of Shaikhal Islam to
Khawaja Qutabuddin, which he refused to accept. On his recommendation
Najmuddin Sughra was given the post of Shailhul Islam. After some time
Najmuddin became jealous of Khawaja Sahibs' popularity among the
masses and used the latter's practice of gaining spiritual ecstasy
through samaa as a pretext to incite the Capital's Ulema against
Khawaja Qutab. KhawajaMoinuddin Chishti got scent of Jajmuddin
mischief and rushed to Dehli to investigate into the confrontation,
Najamuddin Sughra did not call on Khawaja Moinuddin as was
traditional. Khawaja Moinuddin as was traditional. Khawaja Moinuddin
called at Najmuddin's house and upbraided him for this rudeness and
misdemeanor. He asked Khawaja Qutab besides hundreds of common people
were so upset at the Qutab departure from Delhi that the was followed,
and the dust on the road where he had passed was collected by rumeous
devotees as a relic. Khawaja Moinuddin wasso moved at such a
spontaneous love and high respect for his murid that the urged him to
return back to Delhi.
The murids were constantly advised by Qutab Sahib to devote energies
for social welfare works and assistthe needy in a selfless way. Once
Baba Fariduddin sought his advice regarding the writing of amulets
(Taweez) for people's benefit. The Qutab replied that the fulfillment
of desires belonged to no-one; the Taweez inscribed with Allah's
Attributes could be written and given to the soliciting persons.
The Shamsi Hauz in Delhi, surviving to this day, is a monumental relic
of Khawaja Qutab's sanctity and super natural power. Potable water was
in short supply in the newly founded capital which was a matte of
great concern to the Sultan. The Holy Prophet (S.A.W) appeared in
dream to both the Khawaja and the Sultan indicating a particular spot
upon which was imprinted thehoop-mark of the Prophet's horse seen in
the dream. A tank was dug up at that site and lo the water gushed out
from underground source. It was named as Hauz-I-Shamsi. Khawaja became
known as 'Kaki' as he lived on miraculously received breads alone. The
demise fo Hadrat Qutab Kaki was an event of great significance to the
Sufis. The Khawaja graced with his presencethe Mehfil-I-Samaa at eh
Khnaqah of Shaikh Ali Sijzi. When the Qawwal recited the following
verse, the Khawaja was seized with ecstasy;
"The martyrs of the dagger of tasleem (surrender to Allah's will)
Each moment get a new life form the Unseen World."
He was rushed home in state of trance. Regaining consciousness, the
Khawaja desired the verse to be repeated each time he regained
consciousness which always occurred at the time of obligatory prayers.
He then lapsed back into an ecstatic state. On the fifth night, 14
Rabiul Awwal 633 A.H.(27th Novemeber 1235 C.E.) he departed to his
heavenly abode. He lies buried in Mehroli (near the Qutab Minar), a
suburb of present day Delhi.