Marriage According to Quran and Sunnah

And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us
from our wives and our offspring
who will be the comfort of our eyes,
and make us leaders for the Muttaqûn" Those will be rewarded with the
highest place
(in Paradise) because of their patience.
Therein they shall be metwith greetings
and the word of peace and respect.
(Qur'an 25:74-75)
The order to Marry
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, No. 1,Narrated Anas bin Malik
A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet
asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were informed
about that, they considered their worship insufficientand said, "Where
are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been
forgiven." Then oneof them said, "I will offer the prayer throughout
the night forever." The other said, "I will fast throughout the year
and will not break my fast." The third said, "I will keep away from
the women and will not marry forever." Allah's Apostle came to them
and said, "Are you the same people who said so-and-so? By Allah, I am
more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast
and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does
not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one of my
followers)."
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 4, Narrated 'Abdullah
We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth
whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever among you
can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard
his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual
intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as
fasting diminishes his sexual power."
Saying of Salaf - Sufyan ibn 'Uyaynah
Sufyân ibn 'Uyaynah (rahimahullâh) said, "Themost nimble of creatures
still have need of a voice.The cleverest women still need to have a
husband, and the cleverest man still needs to consult wisemen."
Al-Mahr (The Dowry)
The Noble Qur'an 4:4
And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal
money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a
good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of
it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allâh
has made it lawful).
Stipulations in Marriage Contract
Hadith - Abu Dawud and AI-Hakim on the authority of Abi hurairah,Sahih
Al- Jami AI-Sayhir, (No. 6714)
Regarding contracts the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said: The rights
are decided by the conditions.
Hadith - Malik's Muwatta Book 28, Number 28.6.16
Yahya related to me fromMalik that he had heard that Said ibn
al-Musayyabwas asked about a woman who made a stipulation on her
husband not to take her away from her town. Said ibn al-Musayyab said,
"He takes her away if he wishes."
Malik said, "The custom among us is that when a man marries a woman,
and he makes a condition in the marriage contract that he will not
marry after her or take a concubine, it means nothing unless there is
an oath of divorce or setting-free attached to it. Then it is obliged
and required of him."
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his book Al-Mughni:
"If he married her on the condition that he should not make her move
from her house or her city, then this condition is valid, because it
was reported that the Prophet said: 'The most deserving of conditions
to be fulfilled are those by means of which sexual intercourse becomes
permissible for you.' If he married her onthe condition that he
willnot marry another wife, then she has the right to leave him if he
does take another wife." In conclusion, then, the conditions of the
marriage contract are divided into three types, one of which must be
adhered to, which is of benefit to the wife, such as her being able to
stipulate that he cannot make her move from her house or city, or
travel with him, or take another wife or a concubine. He has to adhere
to these conditions, and if he does not, then she has the right to
annul the marriage." [Al-Mughni by Ibn Qudaamah, part 7, Kitaab
al-Nikaah]
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked
this question and he replied in Al-Fataawa al-Kubra:
"Question: a man marrieda woman and she stipulated that he should not
take another wife or make her move from her house, and that she
couldstay with her mother, so he married her on this basis. Does he
have to adhere to this, and if he goes against these conditions, does
his wife have the right to annul the marriage or not?
Answer: yes, these conditions and similar ones are valid according to
the madhhab of Imaam Ahmad and other scholars among the Sahaabah and
Taabi'een,such as 'Umar ibn al-Khattaab, 'Amr ibn al-'Aas, Shurayh
al-Qaadi, al-Oozaa'i and Ishaaq. According to the madhhab of Maalik,
the condition states that if hemarries another wife, (the first wife)
has the choice of what to do, andthis is a valid condition. The woman
has the right to leave him in this case. This is similar to the idea
in the Madhhab of Imaam Ahmad. The basis for this is the hadeeth
narrated by (al-Bukhaari and Muslim) in al-Saheehayn from the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): 'The most deserving of
conditions to be fulfilled are those by means of which
sexualintercourse becomes permissible for you.' 'Umar ibn al-Khattaab
said: 'Rights are in accordance with conditions.' The Prophet dictated
that the conditions which make sexual intercourse permissible are more
deserving of fulfilment than others. This is the ruling on conditions
of this nature." [al-Fataawa al-Kubra, part 3, Kitaab al-Nikaah].

In Marriage

The Noble Qur'an 30:21
And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among
yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between
you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people
who reflect.
The Noble Qur'an 4:19
O ye who believe! ye are forbidden to inherit women against their
will.Nor should ye treat them with harshness that ye may take away
part of the dower ye have given them except where they have been
guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing
of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye
dislike a thing and Allah brings about through it a great deal ofgood.
Hadith - Tirmidhi
"The most perfect of the believers is the best of you in character,
and the best of you are those among you who are best to their wives."

The Virtue of Kindness According to Quran and Sunnah

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The Noble Qur'an 3:159
And by the Mercy of Allah,you dealt with them gently. And had you
beensevere and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about
you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allah's) Forgiveness for
them; and consult them in the affair. Then when you have taken a
decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who
put theirtrust (in Him).
The Noble Qur'an 42:43
And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives that would truly be
from the things recommended by Allah.
The Noble Qur'an 31:17-19
O my son! Aqim-is-Salat (offer prayers perfectly), enjoin (people) for
Al- Ma'ruf (Islamic Monotheism and all that is good), and forbid
(people) from Al- Munkar (i.e. disbelief in the Oneness of Allah,
polytheism of all kinds and all that is evil and bad), and bear with
patience whatever befalls you. Verily! These are some of the important
commandments ordered by Allah with no exemption.
And turn not your faceaway from men with pride, nor walk in
insolence through the earth. Verily, Allah likes not each arrogant
boaster.
And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower
your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the voice (braying)
of theass.
Hadith - Muslim & Bukhari
"Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people."
Hadith - Tirmidhi , Saheeh: Related by Aboo Daawood (no. 4177) and
at-Tirmidhee (no. 1877). It was declared authenticby Imaam al-Albaanee
in as-Saheehah (no. 417):
"He who does not thank people does not thank Allah."
Hadith - Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi
"Those who are kind andconsiderate to Allah's creatures, Allah bestows
His kindness and affection on them. Show kindness to the creatureson
the earth so that Allahmay be kind to you."
The Noble Qur'an - Al-Fath 48:29
Muhammad (SAW) is the Messenger of Allâh, and those who are with him
are severe against disbelievers, and mercifulamong themselves. ...

Abu Sufyan ibn al-Harith - Biographies of the Companions (Sahabah)

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Rarely can one find a closer bondbetween two persons such as existed
between Muhammad theson of Abdullah and Abu Sufyan the son of
al-Harith. (This Abu Sufyan of course was not the same as Abu Sufyan
ibn Harb, the powerful Quraysh chieftain.)
Abu Sufyan ibn al-Harith was born about the same time as theblessed
Prophet. They resembledeach other a great deal. They grew up together
and for a timelived in the same household. Abu Sufyan was a cousin of
the Prophet. His father, al-Harith, was the brother of Abdullah; both
were sons of Abd al-Muttalib.
Abu Sufyan was also a foster-brother of the Prophet. He was for a
short time nursed by the lady Halimah who looked after the young
Muhammad in the tough and bracing atmosphere of the desert.
In their childhood and youth, Abu Sufyan and Muhammad were close and
intimate friends. So close were they, that one might naturally have
expected Abu Sufyan to have been among the first to respond to the
call ofthe Prophet, peace be upon him,and follow wholeheartedly the
religion of truth. But this was not to be, at least not for many, many
years.
From the time the Prophet madepublic his call to Islam and first
issued the warning to members of his clan about the dangers of
continuing in their existing stateof unbelief, injustice and
immorality, the fire of envy and hatred erupted in the breast of Abu
Sufyan. The bonds of kinshipsnapped. Where once there was love and
friendship, there was now revulsion and hate. Where once there was
brotherhood, there was now resistance and opposition.
Abu Sufyan at this time was renowned as one of the best fighters and
horsemen of the Quraysh and one of their most accomplished poets. He
used both sword and tongue in the battle against the Prophet and his
mission. All his energies were mobilized in denouncing Islam and
persecuting the Muslims. In whatever battle the Quraysh fought against
the Prophet and whatever torture and persecution they meted out to the
Muslims Abu Sufyan had a part to play. He composed and recited verses
attacking and vilifying the Prophet.
For twenty years almost this rancor consumed his soul. His three
others brothers - Nawfal, Rabiah and Abdullah, had all accepted Islam
but not he.
In the eighth year after the Hijrah, however, shortly before the
Islamic liberation of Makkah,Abu Sufyan's position began to shift, as
he explains: "When the movement of Islam became vigorous and
well-established and news spread of the Prophet's advance to liberate
Makkah, the world caved in on me. I felt trapped. 'Where shall I go?'
I asked myself. 'And with whom?' To my wife and children, I said:
'Get ready to leave Makkah. Muhammad's advance is imminent. I shall
certainly be killed. I shall be given no quartershould the Muslims
recognize me.'
'Now,' replied my family, 'you must realize that Arabs and non-Arabs
have pledged their obedience to Muhammad and accepted his religion.
You are still bent on opposing him whereas you might have been the
first to support and help him.'
They continued trying to influence me to re-consider my attitude to
Muhammad's religion and to re-awaken in me affection towards him.
Eventually God opened my heart to Islam. I got up and said to
myservant, Madhkur: 'Get ready a camel and a horse for us.' I took my
son Jafar with me and we galloped with great speed towards al-Abwa
between Makkah and Madinah. I had learnt that Muhammad had camped
there. As I approached the place, I covered my face so that no one
could recognize and kill me before I could reach the Prophet and
announce my acceptance of Islam directly to him.
Slowly, I proceeded on foot while advance groups of Muslims headed
towards Makkah. I avoided their path out of fear that one of the
Prophet's companions would recognize me. I continued in this fashion
until the Prophet on his mount came into my view. Coming out into the
open, I went straight upto him and uncovered my face. He looked at me
and recognized me. But, he turned his face away. I moved to face him
once again. He avoided looking at me and again turned away his face.
This happened repeatedly.
I had no doubt - as I stood therefacing the Prophet that he would have
been pleased with my acceptance of Islam and thathis companions would
have rejoiced at his happiness. When, however, the Muslims saw the
Prophet, peace be on him, avoiding me, they too looked at me and
shunned me. Abu Bakr met me and violently turned away. I looked at
Umar ibn al-Khattab, my eyes pleading for his compassion, but I found
him even more harsh than Abu Bakr. In fact, Umar went on to incite one
of the Ansar against me.
'O enemy of God,' lashed out the Ansari, 'you are the one who
persecuted the Messenger of God, peace be on him, and tortured his
companions. You carried your hostility towards the Prophet to the ends
of the earth'.
The Ansari went on censuring me in a loud voice while other Muslims
glared at me in anger. At that point, I saw my uncle, al-Abbas, and
went to him seeking refuge.
'O uncle,' I said. 'I had hoped that the Prophet, peace be on him,
would be happy about my acceptance of Islam because of my kinship to
him and because of my position of honor among my people. You know what
his reaction has been. Speak to him then on my behalf that he may be
pleased with me.'
'No, by God,' replied my uncle. 'I shall not speak to him at all after
I have seen him turning away from you except if an opportunity
presents itself. I do honor the Prophet, peace and blessings of God be
on him, and I stand in awe of him.'
'O uncle, to whom then will you abandon me?' I pleaded.
'I do not have anything for you except what you have heard,' he said.
Anxiety and grief took hold of me. I saw Ali ibn Talib soon afterand
spoke to him about my case. His response was the sameas that of my
uncle. I went back to my uncle and said to him: 'O uncle, if you
cannot soften the heart of the Prophet towards me, then at least
restrain that man from denouncing me and inciting others against me.'
'Describe him to me,' said my uncle. I described the man to him and he
said: 'That is Nuayman ibn al-Harith an-Najjari.' He sent for Nuayman
and said to him: 'O Nuayman! Abu Sufyan is the cousin of the Prophet
and my nephew. If the Prophet is angry with him today,he will be
pleased with him another day. So leave him...' My uncle continued
trying to placate Nuayman until the latter relented and said: 'I shall
not spurn him anymore.'
"When the Prophet reached al-Jahfah (about four days journey from
Makkah), I sat down at the door of his tent. My son Jafar stood beside
me. As hewas leaving his tent, the Prophetsaw me and averted his face.
Yet, I did not despair of seeking his pleasure. Whenever he camped at
a place, I would sit athis door and my son Jafar wouldstand in front
of me... I continued in this fashion for some time. But the situation
became too much for me and I became depressed. I said to myself:
'By God, either the Prophet, peace be on him, shows he is pleased with
me or I shall take my son and go wandering through the land until we
die of hunger and thirst.'
When the Prophet came to hear of this, he relented and, on leaving his
tent, he looked more gently towards me then before. I so much hoped
that he would smile."
Eventually the Prophet relented and told Abu Sufyan, "There is now no
blame on you." He entrusted the newcomer to Islam to Ali ibn Abi Talib
saying:"Teach your cousin how to perform wudu and about the Sunnah.
Then bring him back to me." When Ali returned, the Prophet said:
"Tell all the people that the Messenger of God is pleased with Abu
Sufyan and that they should be pleased with him."
Abu Sufyan continued: "The Prophet then entered Makkah and I too
entered in his entourage. He went to the Sacred Mosque and I also
went, trying my best to remain in his presence and not separate from
him on any account...
Later, at the Battle of Hunayn, the Arabs put together an
unprecedented force against theProphet, peace be on him... Theywere
determined to deal a mortal blow to Islam and the Muslims.
The Prophet went out to confront them with a large number of his
companions. I went out with him and when I saw the great throngs of
mushrikin, I said: 'By God, today,I shall atone for all my past
hostility towards the Prophet. peace be on him, and he shall certainly
see on my part what pleases God and what pleases him.'
When the two forces met, the pressure of the mushrikin on theMuslims
was severe and the Muslims began to lose heart. Some even began to
desert and terrible defeat stared us in the face. However, the Prophet
stood firm in the thick of battle astride his mule "Ash-Shahba" like a
towering mountain, wielding his sword and fighting for himself and
those around him... I jumped from my horse and fought beside him. God
knows that I desired martyrdombeside the Messenger of God. My uncle,
al-Abbas, took the reins ofthe Prophet's mule and stood at his side. I
took up my position on the other side. With my right hand I fended off
attacks againstthe Prophet and with my left I held on to my mount.
When the Prophet saw my devastating blows on the enemy, he asked my
uncle: 'Who's this?' 'This is your brother and cousin. Abu Sufyan ibn
al-Harith. Be pleased with him. O Messenger of God.'
'I have done so and God has granted forgiveness to him for all the
hostility he has directed against me.'
My heart soared with happiness. I kissed his feet in the stirrup and
wept. He turned towards me and said: 'My brother! Upon my life!
Advance and strike!'
The words of the Prophet spurred me on and we plunged into the
positions of the mushrikin until they were routed and fled in every
direction."
After Hunayn, Abu Sufyan ibn al-Harith continued to enjoy the good
pleasure of the Prophet and the satisfaction of being in his noble
company. But he neverlooked the Prophet directly in the eye nor
focussed his gaze onhis face out of shame and embarrassment for his
past hostility towards him.
Abu Sufyan continued to feel intense remorse for the many and dark
days he had spent trying to extinguish the light of God and refusing
to follow His message. Henceforth, his days and nights he would spend
reciting the verses of the Quran seeking to understand and follow its
laws and profit by its admonitions. He shunned the world and its
adornments and turned to God with every fibre ofhis being. Once the
Prophet. peace be on him, saw him entering the mosque and asked his
wife: "Do you know who is this, Aishah?" "No, O Messenger of God." she
replied. This is my cousin. Abu Sufyan ibn al-Harith. See, he is the
first to enter the masjid and the last to leave. His eyes do not leave
his shoelace."
When the Prophet, peace be on him, passed away, Abu Sufyan felt
intense grief and wept bitterly.
During the caliphate of Umar, may God be pleased with him, Abu Sufyan
felt his end drawing near. One day people saw him in al-Baqi, the
cemetery not far from the Prophet's mosque where many Sahabah are
buried.He was digging and fashioning agrave. They were surprised.
Three days later, Abu Sufyan waslying stretched out at home His family
stood around weeping but he said: "Do not weep for me. By God, I did
not commit any wrong since I accepted Islam." With that, he passed
away.