Adapted from Shaykh Ibn Qayyim�s (rah) Madarij-us-Saalikeen Shaykh Ibn al-Qayyim (rah) says: �The reason which cause mahabbah (love) of Allaah to develop, are ten: First: Reciting the Qur�aan, reflecting and understanding its meaning and its intent. Second: Drawing closer to Allaah �the Most High � through optional deeds, after fulfilling the obligatory duties. Third: Being continuous in the dhikr (remembrance) of Allaah, with the tongue, the heart and the limbs � under all circumstances. The more continuant the dhikr, the more muhabbah develops and intensifies. Fourth: Giving precedence to what Allaah loves over personal loves, when being overcome by desires. Fifth: Contemplating and deliberating over the Names and Attributes of Allaah. Sixth: Recognizing and remembering the favors and bounties of Allaah � both manifest and hidden. Seventh: To be humble and submissive before Allaah � and this is the greatest matter. Eighth: To be in seclusion reciting the Qur�aan, during that time in which Allaah descends to the lowest heaven (which is the last third of every night), finishing this recitation with seeking Allaah�s forgiveness and repenting to Him. Ninth: To sit in the gatherings of the true and sincere lovers of Allaah, reaping the fruits of their speech, and not to speak except if there is benefit in it and that you know that such talk will increase you in goodness and that it will benefit others as well. Tenth: To stay clear of all those causes which distances the heart from Allaah � the Mighty and Majestic. So these are the ten reasons which cause the person to develop true love for Allaah and to reach the rank of al-muhabbah,by which he reaches his Beloved. / - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en

Marriage in Islam - if one chooses not to marry or is unable to get married.

The first post on marriage covered the introduction to marriage and generally what Islam portrays regarding marriage. From the topics mentioned, "If one chooses not to marry or is unable to get married" is the next topic to be discussed. Islam is a flexible religion but has its boundaries; its flexibilityallows one to adopt it as a way of life and implement its teachings into every situation; whereas its boundaries restrict man from becoming too engrossed into certain acts andtherefore becoming extreme infollowing their desires. Flexibility and boundaries set by Islam have created a perfectbalance for man to achieve good both in this world and thehereafter, it is a balance that allows man to be successful in both the worlds. Marriage also has boundaries and flexibilities; it is a matter which has been regarded as half of one's Imaan (religion). Marriage is taken seriously in Islam as it allows people to live in a clean and moral society where desires are fulfilled in a human and shameful manner. It is an act that increases the number of believers and will cause our beloved Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم to be proud by having the largest number of believers. The Prophet of Allah صلي الله عليه و سلم has clearly forbidden people from celibacy: "There is no celibacy in Islam" [Sahih al-Bukhari] However, in life it is not always possible to adopt the Sunnah act of marriage. There come in life situations that restrict that do not allow one to get married. Therefore, it is necessary to mention the ruling of marriage;is it Mustahab (desired/recommended), Sunnah (way of the Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم, therefore encouraged), Wajib/Fardh (obligatory). Similarly, there will be times when marriage will be ruled as Makrooh (disliked) or Haraam (forbidden). At this time we will deal with those rulings that concern that person who chooses not to marry or does not have the means to. According to Imams Abu Hanifah marriage is Sunnah and recommendatory. It is an act of worship and one should strive in fulfilling this act. However, if one is in a position where he cannot control his desires then it is Wajib (necessary) for such a person to get married as he will not be able to save himself from sinning. However, a person is excused from marrying, so much so thathe should refrain from it, if he does not possess the means of supporting his wife or the capability of fulfilling her rights. The question remains for that person who wishes to marry but does not possess the means, what should he do? Hadhrat 'Abdullah رضي الله عنه narrates that: "We were with the Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allah's Apostle صلي الله عليه و سلم said, "O young people! Whoever amongst you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting is a shield for him (from desires)." [Sahih al-Bukhari] In this Hadeeth it is clearly mentioned that one who cannot marry should fast as thefasting will act as a shield for him from his desires. However, whilst doing this one should make an effort to resolve the matters that are stopping him from marrying. As a final note, it should be remembered that not being financially able and being in a position to provide for one’s wife means the basic essentialsthat are necessary. Having an elegant and extravagant wedding and inviting people is not part of ‘essentials’ and is in actual fact totally discouraged and forbidden in Islam. However, in today’s society we see people going to the extent of taking out loans to organise a ‘wedding to remember. Insha Allah this topic will be mentioned in later posts and how choosing the correct partner will save one from committing such a grave sin from the first day of such a blessed and auspicious act of worship. May Allah give us all the courage and strength to save ourselves from the sins of desires and may He also give those people who are in need of marriage the means and a pious partner. Aameen./ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en

2a. Marriage, Istikhara & Choosing a Spouse A Question Answered

2a. This principle is well taught to us by Hadhrat Umar رضي الله عنه when once a witnesswent to depose before him. Hadhrat Umar رضي الله عنه said bring to me one who knows you. When he brought aperson to him, the man began to praise his character. Hadhrat Umar رضي الله عنه asked him: Is he your closest neighbour? He said: No. He thenasked him: Were you his companion in a journey? He said: No. Hadhrat Umar رضي الله عنه then asked him: Did you carry on business with him? He said: No. Hadhrat Umarرضي الله عنه finally said: So,you don't know him. He then said to the man: Go, take one who knows you. This clearly shows that a person cannot be thought to bereligious by just seeing his appearance or his apparent act of worship because being religious is far more than that. Hadhrat Umar رضي الله عنه explained that it is necessary tobe a person’s neighbour, to have travelled with him or to have done some business dealings with him in order to really be aware of his true character for these are the affairs and matters that bring out the true colour of a person. This leaves us with one final question, ‘how are we supposed to look for a religiousperson or what do you look forin a spouse to conclude or ascertain that they are from what the Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم classed as بذات الدين. Insha Allah this question will beanswered when that topic comes into discussion and further explanation will be given on this matter. May Allah give us all the zeal and eagerness to choose those who are ‘religious’ and may He give us the understanding and knowledge to differentiate between those who are religious in its true sense as apposed to those who appear to be religious. Aameen./ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en

2. Marriage, Istikhara & Choosing a Spouse A Question Answered

2. Recently, I wrote my first post on the topic of Marriage, withinwhich I mentioned the topics I was intending to write about. However, I received a commentfrom one Sister who said the following: Question: Assalaamo-alaikum, I had a question I've been wondering on the topic of finding a suitable partner for marriage. I remember hearing a hadith on how a person is married for4 things - beauty, wealth, family status, righteousness, but that a believer should give preference to righteousness (orsomething to that effect). My question is that of the 4 things, beauty, wealth and family status are things that can be seen straight up (generally). However, the one thing a person cannot know - what degree of taqwa another person has - is what we're told to look for. Yes of course there are obvious things such as a person drinking or gambling, etc that are indications. But assuming none of those exist, how do you know another person's taqwa. I saw this because i recently had my Nikah broken off as theguy decided he no longer felt like marrying me. This guy seemed God-fearing, spoke about the importance of taqwa, etc. but turned out to besomeone who is unkind, unjustand materialistic (at least it seems so, Allah knows best). Thus how do you know. Yes Istikhara is a way, but I received good signs in istikhara - which I believe means God wanted me to go through this. But back to my question - how can you judge aperson's taqwa - how can anyone judge whats in anotherperson's heart for that is wherethe taqwa resides." Answer One of my main reasons for writing about the Salaah of Istikhara was for this reason; and I was hoping to answer the question in my fourth topic,How to choose a suitable spouse. However, I feel that thequestion needs to be answeredsooner, and therefore, I intend to make a brief answer until that topic is discussed in detail. First of all, the Hadeeth that has been mentioned is as follows: On the authority of Hadhrat Abu Huraira رضي الله عنه the Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم has said: تنكح المرأه لأربع لمالها و لحسبها و جمالها و لدينها فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك "A woman is married for four reasons: for her wealth, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may you be blessed." [Saheeh al-Bukhari: Book 62, Hadith: 5090] In the above Hadeeth our Beloved Prophet, Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, is informing us of the qualities a person normally looks for in a women, he then mentions to us to marry the religious women so that we may be blessed. This Hadeeth applies to anyone looking for a spouse; he or she should be looking for a religious partner and if thereafter the other qualities are found then it would like a bonus. However, as mentioned in the question, it is usually very simple to recognise a person for their wealth, status and beauty; they all are very apparent. But how does one recognise a religious person; that one quality which we are asked to choose over all others. There are many ways in which one can 'try' to determine the piety of a person and to ascertain whether he is 'religious'. However, before doing so, it is important to understand what 'religious' is and what it refers to. Many people have the misconception that a religious person is he who has knowledge; one who talks about religion, someone who merely portrays religion or thatperson who offers his prayers and supplications. However, this is far from the truth. Once a disciple of Hadhrat Ashraf Ali Thanvi came to him to ask of his advice regarding two proposals he had received for his daughter; one being from a clean shaven, not religious but at the same time very respectful and obedient man, whilst the second being 'apparently religious' but very disobedient, unfriendly and disrespectful. Who should the daughter be given in marriage to? Hadhrat Ashraf Ali Thanvi replied instantly that the person who was respectful should be given the daughter. The lesson given here is that it is easier to teach a 'human' the religion of Islam, but it is a much more difficult matter to make a person in to a 'human'. The person who was 'apparently religious' was in reality far from religion; his actions were contrary to the teachings of Islam. Whilst the person who was clean shaven was in actual fact closer to religion due to his behaviour and manners and for that person to become inclined towards religions is far easier and likely. Therefore, apparently being religious is not the sign of being religious and one should never mistake a person from their appearance, in fact not even entirely through their actsof worship.... / - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en