2a. Marriage, Istikhara & Choosing a Spouse A Question Answered

2a. This principle is well taught to us by Hadhrat Umar رضي الله عنه when once a witnesswent to depose before him. Hadhrat Umar رضي الله عنه said bring to me one who knows you. When he brought aperson to him, the man began to praise his character. Hadhrat Umar رضي الله عنه asked him: Is he your closest neighbour? He said: No. He thenasked him: Were you his companion in a journey? He said: No. Hadhrat Umar رضي الله عنه then asked him: Did you carry on business with him? He said: No. Hadhrat Umarرضي الله عنه finally said: So,you don't know him. He then said to the man: Go, take one who knows you. This clearly shows that a person cannot be thought to bereligious by just seeing his appearance or his apparent act of worship because being religious is far more than that. Hadhrat Umar رضي الله عنه explained that it is necessary tobe a person’s neighbour, to have travelled with him or to have done some business dealings with him in order to really be aware of his true character for these are the affairs and matters that bring out the true colour of a person. This leaves us with one final question, ‘how are we supposed to look for a religiousperson or what do you look forin a spouse to conclude or ascertain that they are from what the Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم classed as بذات الدين. Insha Allah this question will beanswered when that topic comes into discussion and further explanation will be given on this matter. May Allah give us all the zeal and eagerness to choose those who are ‘religious’ and may He give us the understanding and knowledge to differentiate between those who are religious in its true sense as apposed to those who appear to be religious. Aameen./ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en

2. Marriage, Istikhara & Choosing a Spouse A Question Answered

2. Recently, I wrote my first post on the topic of Marriage, withinwhich I mentioned the topics I was intending to write about. However, I received a commentfrom one Sister who said the following: Question: Assalaamo-alaikum, I had a question I've been wondering on the topic of finding a suitable partner for marriage. I remember hearing a hadith on how a person is married for4 things - beauty, wealth, family status, righteousness, but that a believer should give preference to righteousness (orsomething to that effect). My question is that of the 4 things, beauty, wealth and family status are things that can be seen straight up (generally). However, the one thing a person cannot know - what degree of taqwa another person has - is what we're told to look for. Yes of course there are obvious things such as a person drinking or gambling, etc that are indications. But assuming none of those exist, how do you know another person's taqwa. I saw this because i recently had my Nikah broken off as theguy decided he no longer felt like marrying me. This guy seemed God-fearing, spoke about the importance of taqwa, etc. but turned out to besomeone who is unkind, unjustand materialistic (at least it seems so, Allah knows best). Thus how do you know. Yes Istikhara is a way, but I received good signs in istikhara - which I believe means God wanted me to go through this. But back to my question - how can you judge aperson's taqwa - how can anyone judge whats in anotherperson's heart for that is wherethe taqwa resides." Answer One of my main reasons for writing about the Salaah of Istikhara was for this reason; and I was hoping to answer the question in my fourth topic,How to choose a suitable spouse. However, I feel that thequestion needs to be answeredsooner, and therefore, I intend to make a brief answer until that topic is discussed in detail. First of all, the Hadeeth that has been mentioned is as follows: On the authority of Hadhrat Abu Huraira رضي الله عنه the Prophet صلي الله عليه و سلم has said: تنكح المرأه لأربع لمالها و لحسبها و جمالها و لدينها فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك "A woman is married for four reasons: for her wealth, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may you be blessed." [Saheeh al-Bukhari: Book 62, Hadith: 5090] In the above Hadeeth our Beloved Prophet, Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam, is informing us of the qualities a person normally looks for in a women, he then mentions to us to marry the religious women so that we may be blessed. This Hadeeth applies to anyone looking for a spouse; he or she should be looking for a religious partner and if thereafter the other qualities are found then it would like a bonus. However, as mentioned in the question, it is usually very simple to recognise a person for their wealth, status and beauty; they all are very apparent. But how does one recognise a religious person; that one quality which we are asked to choose over all others. There are many ways in which one can 'try' to determine the piety of a person and to ascertain whether he is 'religious'. However, before doing so, it is important to understand what 'religious' is and what it refers to. Many people have the misconception that a religious person is he who has knowledge; one who talks about religion, someone who merely portrays religion or thatperson who offers his prayers and supplications. However, this is far from the truth. Once a disciple of Hadhrat Ashraf Ali Thanvi came to him to ask of his advice regarding two proposals he had received for his daughter; one being from a clean shaven, not religious but at the same time very respectful and obedient man, whilst the second being 'apparently religious' but very disobedient, unfriendly and disrespectful. Who should the daughter be given in marriage to? Hadhrat Ashraf Ali Thanvi replied instantly that the person who was respectful should be given the daughter. The lesson given here is that it is easier to teach a 'human' the religion of Islam, but it is a much more difficult matter to make a person in to a 'human'. The person who was 'apparently religious' was in reality far from religion; his actions were contrary to the teachings of Islam. Whilst the person who was clean shaven was in actual fact closer to religion due to his behaviour and manners and for that person to become inclined towards religions is far easier and likely. Therefore, apparently being religious is not the sign of being religious and one should never mistake a person from their appearance, in fact not even entirely through their actsof worship.... / - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en

1a. Salat-ul-Istikhara

1a. In brief, the scholar mentions that if one is to believe that thisprayer is that of guidance that it deems necessary to believe that Allah's guidance is always correct as He has complete knowledge. However, we see many a times that the confusion still remains after theprayer and therefore it means that the promise from Allah was not fulfilled and through Istikhara one did not achieve what one was promised; and it is impossible for Allah to command of something and then not have that order achieve its results. Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi recalls one pious saint from theShafi'ee group (which the author cannot recall) who mentioned an amazing insight about Salaat-ul-Istikhara. Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi, aftermentioning this scholar's amazing explanation, says himself that he is more inclined towards the Shafi'ee explanation of Istikhara and that this is the more correct opinion. Explanation With this view if we take into account the above issues and confusion that often occurs, the confusions still remaining and facing difficulties in the path the one took, we can say that Istikhara is a Du'aa and all Dua'aas are accepted by Allah but it is not necessary that it bein this world or immediately. Therefore, not receiving clarification would mean that Allah has accepted our Dua'aas (as He has promised to do so) but He has not answered it immediately, or that He will give us a greater reward for this supplication in the Hereafter. Similarly, if we face difficulties in a chosen path it could have the same explanation as above or that Allah will shortly give usgoodness in the matter we have chosen. Benefits of this Second View If one takes this second view into account then one will be able to make use of worldly means in able to make his decision and remove his confusion regarding the matter. Istikhara will be a supplication from Allah Ta'ala tohelp him in his decision and to give him goodness it whatever he chooses to do, whilst taking aid from the mediums will help resolve his confusion and assist him in making a decision. Conclusion We have been instructed by theProphet Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam to perform the Istikhara prayer whenever we make decisions in our life, especially when we make some major decisions in life. Therefore, we should always make an effort to perform this prayer of Istikhara, whether we see it as a way in receiving guidance or whether we perform it as a supplication. Furthermore, we should alwaysuse the mediums that Allah has placed in this world to aid us with removing our confusions. The world has been referred to as “Darul Asbaab” (the place of mediums) and it is the wisdom of Allah that in order to acquire anything or even receive anything from Him we need to use the means and mediums that Allah has placed within thisworld. Finally, we should always trust in the decisions that we take through the guidance of Allah and those that we take after supplicating to Him; His mercy is infinite and though Allah mayshower His mercy with delay upon us, through His own wisdom, but He will surely guide us and aid us through those matters that we have taken with hope of His help andguidance. As the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam advised us in the final words ofthe Du'aa, "and make me content with it", we should remain content with the decision we took with trust in Allah. May Allah bless us with divine guidance from Himself and may He give us the understanding to make the correct decisions and may He put goodness in whatever He chooses for us to do. Aameen./ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en

1. The Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam has said: "If one of you is concerned about some practical undertaking, or about making plans for a journey, he should perform two Raka'aats (cycles) of voluntary prayer." Then he should say the following Du'aa: اللَّهمَّ إنِّي أستَخيرك بعلمكَ،و أستقدرك بقُدرتك، و أسْألك مِن فضلك العظيم، فإنّك تَقْدر و لا أقْدِر، و تعلم و لا أعلم، و أنت علاَّمُ الغُيوب. اللَّهمَّ إنْ كنتَ تعلم أنَّ هذا الأمْرِ خيرٌ لي في ديْني و معَاشي و عاقِبة أمري – او قال عاجِل أمري و آجِله – فاقْدِرْهُ لي و يسِّرْه لي ثمَّ بارِك لي فِيه، و إن كنتَ تعلم أنَّ هذا الأمرِ شرٌّ لي في دِيني و معآشِي و عاقبةِ أمْرِي – او قال في عاجِل أمرِي و آجِله – فاصْرِفْه عَنِّي، و اصْرفْنِي عَنه، و اقْدِر لِيَ الخيْرَ حَيْثُ كان ثُمَّ ارْضِنِي بِه. Oh Allah! I seek Your guidance by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power; I have none. And You know; I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things. Oh Allah! If in Your knowledge this matter is good for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs, immediate and in the future, then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge this matter is bad for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs, immediate and in the future, then turn it away from me, and turn me away from it. And ordain for me the good wherever it may be, and make me content with it. Salatul Istikhara We all turn to Allah during timeswhen we are in need, and one of the most common methods and reasons for turning to Him is to seek His guidance throughthe Salaah of Istikhara. Istikhara, in reality, means “to seek goodness from Allah” according to some Ulamaa and according to some it is “to seekguidance from Allah”. Whichever meaning we take, it is a prayer and supplication which is made by a believer to His Lord to help him in the time of need and confusion. However, it is also a known factthat many people experience confusion about this particular prayer. The main reason for theoccurrence of confusion is because the person who is offering this prayer is expecting divine guidance from Allah Ta'ala and therefore has this belief in this heart that whatever result and path he is shown to take will be the correct path and the most beneficial path for him chosen by Allah Himself. However, when people offer this prayer, it is witnessed that the confusion of a person is not removed. Furthermore, the path that one appears to have been told to take is sometimes not a smooth and clear path; instead, the person apparently faces more difficulty in taking that path. It is for this reason that it is vital to clear a few misconceptions and furthermore present a wonderful insight of a great scholar from the followers of Imaam Shafi'ee Rahimahullah. First View The first and most common view of Istikhara is that it is a prayer through which one seeks the guidance from Allah Ta'ala. It is a prayer that removes the confusion a person is experiencing in a matter he wishes to undertake; be that matter should you marry this certain person? Should you attend this graduate school? Should you take this job offer or that one? Therefore, the person who performs this prayer does so inorder to seek guidance from Allah Ta'ala and hopes that his heart will be inclined towards one of the two matters thus enlightening him as to what decision to make. However, as mentioned before,we sometimes see that we do not receive any sort of inclination after the Istikhara, or that once the decision is made we go through difficulties in the option we followed due to the Istikhara. Explanation Primarily, it should be understood that, according to this view, we are seeking Allah's complete knowledge to guide us and therefore we should understand that whatever path we take is the right path for us and no matter what apparent difficulties we go through there is some benefit for us within this path that Allah has inclined our hearts towards. Furthermore, if we feel that there is no inclination towards a certain matter then the scholars have mentioned that we should perform the prayer several times until we do receive an answer from Allah Ta'ala. Second View Istikhara rather than being a prayer for guidance it is a supplication (Du'aa) to Allah Ta'ala and a prayer to seek goodness from Him. It is through this prayer that a person asks Allah Ta'ala to put goodness in whatever he decides to do and a supplication to Allah asking Himto guide him towards that in which there is goodness for him and keep him away from that which has no goodness for him. (The explanation of the Imam that is given is very lengthy and takes a great effort to explain. Alhumdulillah I am in the process of completing the translation of this article which I will post in the near future, Insha Allah.);/ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en