I am a woman who is observing the mourning period (following the husband’s death) and I have been staying in the house of my daughter, who has just had a baby, for more than two weeks now. What should I do?.
Praise be to Allaah.
You have to go back to your husband’s house straightaway and stay there. This is a duty thatyou owe to your husband.
Al-Tirmidhi narrated from al-Furay’ah bint Maalik ibn Sinaan,who is the sister of Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri, that she came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and asked him about going back to her people of Banu Khudrah, because her husband had gone out in pursuit of some slaves of his who had run away, and when they were at the edge of al-Qadoom he caught up with them and they killed him. She asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to let her go back to her family, because her husband had not left her with a house thathe owned or with any provision. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Yes.” She said: So I left, and when I was still in the mosque, he called me back or ordered that I be called back, andsaid: “What did you say?” I repeated what I had told him about my husband and he said: “Stay in your house until the appointed time.” She said: So I observed my ‘iddah there for four months and ten days. When ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan was the caliph, he sent for me and asked me about that, and I told him andhe followed what I said and ruledaccordingly.
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani inSaheeh Abi Dawood.
You also have to repent and prayfor forgiveness for your shortcoming./ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en
"GENERAL ARTICLES"
- Tamil -- Urdu -- Kannada -- Telugu --*-
Share
"BISMILLA HIRRAHMAAN NIRRAHEEM"
WELCOME! - AS'SALAMU ALAIKUM!!
******** *****
*****
[All] praise is [due] to Allah, Lord of the worlds; -
Guide us to the straight path
*- -*
* * In this Blog; More Than Ten Thousand(10,000) {Masha Allah} - Most Usefull Articles!, In Various Topics!! :- Read And All Articles & Get Benifite!
* Visit :-
"INDIA "- Time in New Delhi -
*- WHAT ISLAM SAYS -*
-
Islam is a religion of Mercy, Peace and Blessing. Its teachings emphasize kind hear tedness, help, sympathy, forgiveness, sacrifice, love and care.Qur’an, the Shari’ah and the life of our beloved Prophet (SAW) mirrors this attribute, and it should be reflected in the conduct of a Momin.Islam appreciates those who are kind to their fellow being,and dislikes them who are hard hearted, curt, and hypocrite.Recall that historical moment, when Prophet (SAW) entered Makkah as a conqueror. There was before him a multitude of surrendered enemies, former oppressors and persecutors, who had evicted the Muslims from their homes, deprived them of their belongings, humiliated and intimidated Prophet (SAW) hatched schemes for his murder and tortured and killed his companions. But Prophet (SAW) displayed his usual magnanimity, generosity, and kind heartedness by forgiving all of them and declaring general amnesty...Subhanallah. May Allah help us tailor our life according to the teachings of Islam. (Aameen)./-
''HASBUNALLAHU WA NI'MAL WAKEEL''
-
''Allah is Sufficient for us'' + '' All praise is due to Allah. May peace and blessings beupon the Messenger, his household and companions '' (Aameen) | | |
| | |
|
Share
Follow Me | |
**
Share
-
-*- *: ::->
*
Monday, August 27, 2012
A] Her mother-in-law mistreats her and her family
A]
the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)warned us, which is being too lenient with regard to mixing with and talking to the husband’s brother, let alone seeing one another and living inthe same house. All of that may lead to many evil consequences;it is sufficient for us to know that our Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) described the husband’s brotheror relative – the “in-law” – as death! See the answer to question no. 13261 .
We ask Allah to guide your family to that which He loves and that which pleases Him, and to set things straight among you.
And Allah knows best./ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en
Her mother-in-law mistreats her and her family
We stay separately from my husband's parents but they come to visit us often. My mother in law speaks to my parents very rudely and she verbally abuses me as well with all the choicest of abuses. I as well as my parents have never spoken against her. She makes up things on her own and tells them to my husband and her other kids as well. My elder sister in law believes whatever she says and she abuses me andmy parents as well. My bother inlaw, who stays with us, supports me as he knows what his mother has been doing. My husband also knows about it but he cannot speak against his parents and does not speak for me. I do not speak against them for fear of Allah. Please advise.
Praise be to Allah.
1.
One of the most difficult problems a wife may face in herlife is if her husband mistreats by listening to what his mother says about what she did not sayor do. One of the good things in your case is that your husband knows that you are innocent of what his mother is fabricating about you, hence your mother-in-law’s attitude does not have any negative impact on your marriage. Rather what appears to be the case is that he seems to be sympathetic towards you, but it seems that he is not able to say anything to his mother. Itseems that this is either becauseof the forcefulness of her character or because he is too weak to confront her.
2.
As your mother-in-law’s attitudetowards your parents is bad, as you describe, our advice is not to bring them together in the same place until Allah sets them straight. That is because no one knows what may happen as a result of her reviling and insulting them. Your family may often keep quiet but who can guarantee that they will keep quiet in the long term?? There is no doubt that this reviling and insults in front of members of both families will have a far-reaching effect on them and will create resentment and grudges in their hearts, hence the safest option is to strive to avoid bringing the two parties together in the same place.
3.
Remember that whatever befallsyou is a test with which Allah tests whomever he wills of His slaves, so respond to that with patience as is the way of the believer when faced with trials and calamities, and respond to itwith that which is best of words, actions and attitudes. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (theevil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.
But none is granted it (the above quality) except those who are patient, and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion (of the happiness in the Hereafter i.e. Paradise and in this world of a high moral character)”
[Fussilat 41:34, 35].
Remember that the consequences of being patient and responding with that whichis best will be better for you in this world and in the Hereafter, in sha Allah. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But if you remain patient and become pious, not the least harm will their cunning do to you”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:120].
4.
It is extremely important to maintain a strong relationship with your husband and to growcloser to him and strengthen your relationship with him by treating him kindly. We know that some sons are unable to confront their fathers or mothers with the truth with regard to their wives, so they remain neutral, so accept that from him because it is better than him taking sides. Perhaps that will all be resolved soon andit will become history, or that resentment and dislike may turninto love and affection.
5.
If there is anyone who is wise in your mother-in-law’s family, such as her brother or her uncle,let him intervene to advise and exhort her. Perhaps Allah will guide her and set her straight with a word from one of them. Do not despair of her being guided, for Allah has guided those who were worse than her.
6.
With regard to your husband’s sister, we advise her to fear Allah, her Lord, and to rememberthat the consequences of wrongdoing are serious; it is a sin for which Allah hastens the punishment in this world. So support the wrongdoer by advising him, exhorting him andtrying to stop him, and support the one who is wronged by speaking up for his rights and warding off harm from him. And let her beware of Allah punishing her in a manner that befits her crime.
7.
We noticed your saying that your husband’s brother, who is the one who is supporting you, “lives with you”; we do not know how old he is or the nature of your living arrangements, but we should warn you against that against which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)warned us, +...
/ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en
Praise be to Allah.
1.
One of the most difficult problems a wife may face in herlife is if her husband mistreats by listening to what his mother says about what she did not sayor do. One of the good things in your case is that your husband knows that you are innocent of what his mother is fabricating about you, hence your mother-in-law’s attitude does not have any negative impact on your marriage. Rather what appears to be the case is that he seems to be sympathetic towards you, but it seems that he is not able to say anything to his mother. Itseems that this is either becauseof the forcefulness of her character or because he is too weak to confront her.
2.
As your mother-in-law’s attitudetowards your parents is bad, as you describe, our advice is not to bring them together in the same place until Allah sets them straight. That is because no one knows what may happen as a result of her reviling and insulting them. Your family may often keep quiet but who can guarantee that they will keep quiet in the long term?? There is no doubt that this reviling and insults in front of members of both families will have a far-reaching effect on them and will create resentment and grudges in their hearts, hence the safest option is to strive to avoid bringing the two parties together in the same place.
3.
Remember that whatever befallsyou is a test with which Allah tests whomever he wills of His slaves, so respond to that with patience as is the way of the believer when faced with trials and calamities, and respond to itwith that which is best of words, actions and attitudes. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (theevil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.
But none is granted it (the above quality) except those who are patient, and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion (of the happiness in the Hereafter i.e. Paradise and in this world of a high moral character)”
[Fussilat 41:34, 35].
Remember that the consequences of being patient and responding with that whichis best will be better for you in this world and in the Hereafter, in sha Allah. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But if you remain patient and become pious, not the least harm will their cunning do to you”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:120].
4.
It is extremely important to maintain a strong relationship with your husband and to growcloser to him and strengthen your relationship with him by treating him kindly. We know that some sons are unable to confront their fathers or mothers with the truth with regard to their wives, so they remain neutral, so accept that from him because it is better than him taking sides. Perhaps that will all be resolved soon andit will become history, or that resentment and dislike may turninto love and affection.
5.
If there is anyone who is wise in your mother-in-law’s family, such as her brother or her uncle,let him intervene to advise and exhort her. Perhaps Allah will guide her and set her straight with a word from one of them. Do not despair of her being guided, for Allah has guided those who were worse than her.
6.
With regard to your husband’s sister, we advise her to fear Allah, her Lord, and to rememberthat the consequences of wrongdoing are serious; it is a sin for which Allah hastens the punishment in this world. So support the wrongdoer by advising him, exhorting him andtrying to stop him, and support the one who is wronged by speaking up for his rights and warding off harm from him. And let her beware of Allah punishing her in a manner that befits her crime.
7.
We noticed your saying that your husband’s brother, who is the one who is supporting you, “lives with you”; we do not know how old he is or the nature of your living arrangements, but we should warn you against that against which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)warned us, +...
/ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en
1d] Why did the Imâms Differ?
1d]
the Messenger of Allâh say:
‘The wind is form the spirit(rûh) of Allâh. It comes with mercy and it comes with punishment. So if yousee it, then do not revile it.But (instead) ask Allâh for the good of it and seek refuge in Allâh from the evil of it.’
And it is a hasan sahîh hadîth as has been stated by Al-Hâfidh Ibn Hajr (ra).”
13. Reported by Al-Bukhari, Abu Dawûd, Ibn Mâjah and An-Nasâ’î from Ibn ‘Abbâs (ra)
14. An agreed upon hadîth(i.e. reported by Al-Bukhârîand Muslim).
15. Al-Albânî said:
“Ahmad and Muslim reported it from the hadîthof ‘Alî. And Ahmad, Abu Dawûd and At-Tirmidhî reported it form the hadîthof Khuzaimah Ibn Thâbit. And it has been reported from the hadîth of Safwân Ibn ‘Assâl(ra)by An-Nasâ’î, At-Tirmidhî and Ibn Khuzaimah, and the last two authenticated it. Ad-Dâraqutnî reported it and authenticated it, as did Ibn Khuzaimah from the hadîth of Abu Bakrah. These ahâdîth provide evidence for the time period of wiping over the footwear, which is one dayand one night for the resident and three days and three nights for the traveler.
At-Tirmidhî said: ‘This is the opinion of the scholarsfrom the Companions of the Prophet (saw) as well as those that came after them from the Fuqahâ.’”
16.The compilers of the Sunans reported this and At-Tirmidhî, Ibn Hibbân, Al-Hâkim and others authenticated it. It is from the hadîth of Furai’ah Bint Mâlik. See Al-Musnad (6/370).
17. Reported by Ahmad in Al-Musnad (1/100 & 104)
18. Al-Albânî said:
“Ahmad, Abu Dawûd, At-Tirmidhî and Ibn Mâjah reported that Abu Bakr heard the Messenger of Allâh(swt)say:
‘There is no person that commits a sin, then performs ablution and perfects his ablution. Then he prays two raka’ahs and thereafter asks Allâh for forgiveness, except that Allâh will forgive him.’
Then he(saw) recited this ayah:
'And those who when they commit evil acts or they wrong themselves, remember Allâh and ask forgiveness for their sins.And who forgives sins, except Allâh. And they donot persist on what they do, while knowingly. These are the ones whose reward will be forgiveness from their Lord and gardens under which rivers flow, to abide therein forever. And how great is the reward of those who do (good) deeds.'’ [Surah آli‘Imrân 135-136]
Al-Hâfidh Ibn Hajr said thatthis hadîth has a good chain of narration.”
19. Reported by Al-Bukhârî, Muslim, Abu Dawûd and Ibn Mâjah withclose and similar wordings.
20. Reported by Imâm Ahmad and the compilers of the Sunans. At-Tirmidhî authenticated it. And her husband was Hilâl Ibn Murrah Al-Ashja’î./ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en
the Messenger of Allâh say:
‘The wind is form the spirit(rûh) of Allâh. It comes with mercy and it comes with punishment. So if yousee it, then do not revile it.But (instead) ask Allâh for the good of it and seek refuge in Allâh from the evil of it.’
And it is a hasan sahîh hadîth as has been stated by Al-Hâfidh Ibn Hajr (ra).”
13. Reported by Al-Bukhari, Abu Dawûd, Ibn Mâjah and An-Nasâ’î from Ibn ‘Abbâs (ra)
14. An agreed upon hadîth(i.e. reported by Al-Bukhârîand Muslim).
15. Al-Albânî said:
“Ahmad and Muslim reported it from the hadîthof ‘Alî. And Ahmad, Abu Dawûd and At-Tirmidhî reported it form the hadîthof Khuzaimah Ibn Thâbit. And it has been reported from the hadîth of Safwân Ibn ‘Assâl(ra)by An-Nasâ’î, At-Tirmidhî and Ibn Khuzaimah, and the last two authenticated it. Ad-Dâraqutnî reported it and authenticated it, as did Ibn Khuzaimah from the hadîth of Abu Bakrah. These ahâdîth provide evidence for the time period of wiping over the footwear, which is one dayand one night for the resident and three days and three nights for the traveler.
At-Tirmidhî said: ‘This is the opinion of the scholarsfrom the Companions of the Prophet (saw) as well as those that came after them from the Fuqahâ.’”
16.The compilers of the Sunans reported this and At-Tirmidhî, Ibn Hibbân, Al-Hâkim and others authenticated it. It is from the hadîth of Furai’ah Bint Mâlik. See Al-Musnad (6/370).
17. Reported by Ahmad in Al-Musnad (1/100 & 104)
18. Al-Albânî said:
“Ahmad, Abu Dawûd, At-Tirmidhî and Ibn Mâjah reported that Abu Bakr heard the Messenger of Allâh(swt)say:
‘There is no person that commits a sin, then performs ablution and perfects his ablution. Then he prays two raka’ahs and thereafter asks Allâh for forgiveness, except that Allâh will forgive him.’
Then he(saw) recited this ayah:
'And those who when they commit evil acts or they wrong themselves, remember Allâh and ask forgiveness for their sins.And who forgives sins, except Allâh. And they donot persist on what they do, while knowingly. These are the ones whose reward will be forgiveness from their Lord and gardens under which rivers flow, to abide therein forever. And how great is the reward of those who do (good) deeds.'’ [Surah آli‘Imrân 135-136]
Al-Hâfidh Ibn Hajr said thatthis hadîth has a good chain of narration.”
19. Reported by Al-Bukhârî, Muslim, Abu Dawûd and Ibn Mâjah withclose and similar wordings.
20. Reported by Imâm Ahmad and the compilers of the Sunans. At-Tirmidhî authenticated it. And her husband was Hilâl Ibn Murrah Al-Ashja’î./ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)