A] Her mother-in-law mistreats her and her family

A]
the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)warned us, which is being too lenient with regard to mixing with and talking to the husband’s brother, let alone seeing one another and living inthe same house. All of that may lead to many evil consequences;it is sufficient for us to know that our Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) described the husband’s brotheror relative – the “in-law” – as death! See the answer to question no. 13261 .
We ask Allah to guide your family to that which He loves and that which pleases Him, and to set things straight among you.
And Allah knows best./ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en

Her mother-in-law mistreats her and her family

We stay separately from my husband's parents but they come to visit us often. My mother in law speaks to my parents very rudely and she verbally abuses me as well with all the choicest of abuses. I as well as my parents have never spoken against her. She makes up things on her own and tells them to my husband and her other kids as well. My elder sister in law believes whatever she says and she abuses me andmy parents as well. My bother inlaw, who stays with us, supports me as he knows what his mother has been doing. My husband also knows about it but he cannot speak against his parents and does not speak for me. I do not speak against them for fear of Allah. Please advise.
Praise be to Allah.
1.
One of the most difficult problems a wife may face in herlife is if her husband mistreats by listening to what his mother says about what she did not sayor do. One of the good things in your case is that your husband knows that you are innocent of what his mother is fabricating about you, hence your mother-in-law’s attitude does not have any negative impact on your marriage. Rather what appears to be the case is that he seems to be sympathetic towards you, but it seems that he is not able to say anything to his mother. Itseems that this is either becauseof the forcefulness of her character or because he is too weak to confront her.
2.
As your mother-in-law’s attitudetowards your parents is bad, as you describe, our advice is not to bring them together in the same place until Allah sets them straight. That is because no one knows what may happen as a result of her reviling and insulting them. Your family may often keep quiet but who can guarantee that they will keep quiet in the long term?? There is no doubt that this reviling and insults in front of members of both families will have a far-reaching effect on them and will create resentment and grudges in their hearts, hence the safest option is to strive to avoid bringing the two parties together in the same place.
3.
Remember that whatever befallsyou is a test with which Allah tests whomever he wills of His slaves, so respond to that with patience as is the way of the believer when faced with trials and calamities, and respond to itwith that which is best of words, actions and attitudes. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (theevil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.
But none is granted it (the above quality) except those who are patient, and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion (of the happiness in the Hereafter i.e. Paradise and in this world of a high moral character)”
[Fussilat 41:34, 35].
Remember that the consequences of being patient and responding with that whichis best will be better for you in this world and in the Hereafter, in sha Allah. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But if you remain patient and become pious, not the least harm will their cunning do to you”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:120].
4.
It is extremely important to maintain a strong relationship with your husband and to growcloser to him and strengthen your relationship with him by treating him kindly. We know that some sons are unable to confront their fathers or mothers with the truth with regard to their wives, so they remain neutral, so accept that from him because it is better than him taking sides. Perhaps that will all be resolved soon andit will become history, or that resentment and dislike may turninto love and affection.
5.
If there is anyone who is wise in your mother-in-law’s family, such as her brother or her uncle,let him intervene to advise and exhort her. Perhaps Allah will guide her and set her straight with a word from one of them. Do not despair of her being guided, for Allah has guided those who were worse than her.
6.
With regard to your husband’s sister, we advise her to fear Allah, her Lord, and to rememberthat the consequences of wrongdoing are serious; it is a sin for which Allah hastens the punishment in this world. So support the wrongdoer by advising him, exhorting him andtrying to stop him, and support the one who is wronged by speaking up for his rights and warding off harm from him. And let her beware of Allah punishing her in a manner that befits her crime.
7.
We noticed your saying that your husband’s brother, who is the one who is supporting you, “lives with you”; we do not know how old he is or the nature of your living arrangements, but we should warn you against that against which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)warned us, +...
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1d] Why did the Imâms Differ?

1d]
the Messenger of Allâh say:
‘The wind is form the spirit(rûh) of Allâh. It comes with mercy and it comes with punishment. So if yousee it, then do not revile it.But (instead) ask Allâh for the good of it and seek refuge in Allâh from the evil of it.’
And it is a hasan sahîh hadîth as has been stated by Al-Hâfidh Ibn Hajr (ra).”
13. Reported by Al-Bukhari, Abu Dawûd, Ibn Mâjah and An-Nasâ’î from Ibn ‘Abbâs (ra)
14. An agreed upon hadîth(i.e. reported by Al-Bukhârîand Muslim).
15. Al-Albânî said:
“Ahmad and Muslim reported it from the hadîthof ‘Alî. And Ahmad, Abu Dawûd and At-Tirmidhî reported it form the hadîthof Khuzaimah Ibn Thâbit. And it has been reported from the hadîth of Safwân Ibn ‘Assâl(ra)by An-Nasâ’î, At-Tirmidhî and Ibn Khuzaimah, and the last two authenticated it. Ad-Dâraqutnî reported it and authenticated it, as did Ibn Khuzaimah from the hadîth of Abu Bakrah. These ahâdîth provide evidence for the time period of wiping over the footwear, which is one dayand one night for the resident and three days and three nights for the traveler.
At-Tirmidhî said: ‘This is the opinion of the scholarsfrom the Companions of the Prophet (saw) as well as those that came after them from the Fuqahâ.’”
16.The compilers of the Sunans reported this and At-Tirmidhî, Ibn Hibbân, Al-Hâkim and others authenticated it. It is from the hadîth of Furai’ah Bint Mâlik. See Al-Musnad (6/370).
17. Reported by Ahmad in Al-Musnad (1/100 & 104)
18. Al-Albânî said:
“Ahmad, Abu Dawûd, At-Tirmidhî and Ibn Mâjah reported that Abu Bakr heard the Messenger of Allâh(swt)say:
‘There is no person that commits a sin, then performs ablution and perfects his ablution. Then he prays two raka’ahs and thereafter asks Allâh for forgiveness, except that Allâh will forgive him.’
Then he(saw) recited this ayah:
'And those who when they commit evil acts or they wrong themselves, remember Allâh and ask forgiveness for their sins.And who forgives sins, except Allâh. And they donot persist on what they do, while knowingly. These are the ones whose reward will be forgiveness from their Lord and gardens under which rivers flow, to abide therein forever. And how great is the reward of those who do (good) deeds.'’ [Surah آli‘Imrân 135-136]
Al-Hâfidh Ibn Hajr said thatthis hadîth has a good chain of narration.”
19. Reported by Al-Bukhârî, Muslim, Abu Dawûd and Ibn Mâjah withclose and similar wordings.
20. Reported by Imâm Ahmad and the compilers of the Sunans. At-Tirmidhî authenticated it. And her husband was Hilâl Ibn Murrah Al-Ashja’î./ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en

1c] Why did the Imâms Differ?

1c]
is authentic, then he is mistaken. And that is a vile and detestable mistake.
And no one should say:"Indeed (all) the hadîth were transcribed in books and collected, so how could it be hidden from anyone?" This statement isfar from correct for indeed these transcription of ahâdîth, which are well-known in the books of Sunnah, were only collected after the death and disappearance of these Imâms whom are followed by the people, may Allâh have mercy on them. In spite of this, it is not permissible for it to beclaimed that all of the hadîth of the Messenger ofAllâh(swt) are limited to certain specified books.
And even if one were to limit all of the hadîth of the Messenger of Allâh(swt) to such, then still, everything that was in these books was not known to a scholar, nor can this be attained by anyone. Rather there would be with one man, many records of transcribed ahâdîth and hewould not be able to graspall that was in them. Rather, the ones who existed before these booksof transcribed ahâdîth were collected, were muchmore knowledgeable of the Sunnah than those who came after them. Thisis because a lot of what was conveyed to them andconsidered authentic in their opinion, did not reach us except with a narrator that was unknown or with a cut chain of narration or it wasnot conveyed to us in its complete form. Thus the place where they would transcribe the ahâdîth wasin their hearts – and there would be vast amounts of these recorded transcriptions held within them. This is one matter from the knowledge of legal rulings, of which there is no doubt.
And no one should say:"Anyone that doesn’t know all of the ahâdîth cannot be a mujtahid." This is because if it were a condition for a mujtahid tohave knowledge of everything that the Prophet(saws) said and didconcerning matters relatedto rulings, then this ummah would never see this type of mujtahid. Indeed, the extent of a scholar is only: that he knows a majority or a great part of the ahâdîth, such that there does not remain anything unknownto him except for a few cases from the general whole. It is only then that these few cases from the general whole (that are unknown to him), can oppose what has reached and been conveyed to himfrom knowledge.
1. This is a saying that can be attributed to the Salaf, among them Imâm Mâlik (ra).
2. Translators note: This term refers to the deducing of a verdict based on the lack of there being any evidence to forbid it. This applies to only matters outside the field of belief and worship,such as business, family and social affairs. And Allâhknows best.
3. Al-Albânî said in Irwâ-ul-Ghalîl (no. 1680): “It is reported by Abu Dawûd and At-Tirmidhî from the hadîth of Qabîsah Ibn Dhu’aib in mursal form. It has different paths of narration that are all mursal, including the hadîth of ‘Imrân Ibn Husain.”
5.Reported by Al-Bukhârî in his Sahîh from Abu Sa’îd Al-Khudrî. See Fath-ul-Bârî (11/43).
6. Translators Note: A group of people that saw to it that the blood moneywas properly dispersed and Allâh knows best.
7.Reported by Ahmad, AbuDawûd and At-Tirmidhî, who said it was a hasan sahîh hadîth. See Irwâ-ul-Ghalîl (no. 2649)
8.Ash-Shâfi’î reported it in his Musnad in mursal form and it has other paths of narration in mursal form with this same wording. Ahmad, Al-Bukhârî, Abu Dawûd and At-Tirmidhî reported from ‘Umar(ra) that: “He would not collectthe jizyah (money tribute) from the Majûs until ‘Abd-ur-Rahmân Ibn ‘Awf(ra)bore witness that the Messenger of Allâh took it from the Majûs of Hajr.”
9.This is an area of land located in the last parts of Shâm and the first parts of Hijâz, between Al-Mughîtha and Tabûk.
10.Reported by Ahmad, Al-Bukhârî and Muslim from ‘Abd-ur-Rahmân Ibn ‘Awf
11. Al-Albânî said: “Ahmad,Muslim, Abu Dawûd and At-Tirmidhî reported it, however it is from Abu Sa’îd Al-Khudrî. As for the report of ‘Abd-ur-Rahmân Ibn ‘Awf, then Ahmad, At-Tirmidhî and Ibn Mâjah reported it with the wording:
‘If one of you should get doubt in his prayer, such that he does not know if he has prayed one or two (raka’ahs), then he should make it one...’
And there is no mention of‘casting away the doubts’ and ‘building upon what one is certain of’ as has been stated by the author, may Allâh have mercy on him.”
12. Al-Albânî said:
“It is that which Muslim has reported in his Sahîh from ‘Aa’ishah(ra)that she said: ‘When the wind would blow violently, the Prophet (saw) would say:
‘O Allâh, I ask You for the good of it, the good of what is found in it and the good of what You send with it. And I seek refuge in You from the evil of it, the evil of what is found init and the evil of what Yousend with it.’
And it is what Abu Dawûd and Ibn Mâjah have reported on Abu Hurairah(ra) that he heard the Messenger of Allâh say: :->/ - - - :-> Transtors: 1.http://free-translation.imtranslator.net/lowres.asp 2.http://translate.google.com/m?twu=1&hl=en&vi=m&sl=auto&tl=en