7] Rights of the Husbandand Wife in Islam

7]
First of all, we'd like to state that in Islam the marriage of a man
and a woman is not just a financial and physical arrangement of living
together but a sacred contract, a gift of God, to lead a happy,
enjoyable life and continue the lineage. The main goal of marriage in
Islam is the realization of tranquility and compassions between the
spouses. For the attainment of this supreme goal, Islam defined
certain duties andrights for the husband and wife.
For a detailed account of these mutual duties and rights, we'd like to
cite the following:
"Piety is the basis of choosing the life partner. Many are the
statements of the Qur'an and the Sunnah that prescribe kindness and
equity, compassion and love, sympathy and consideration, patience and
good will. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, says, "The
best Muslim isthe one who is best to his family." Also, he says, "…
and the most blessed joy in life is a good, righteous wife." (Reported
by At-Tirmidhi)
The role of the husband evolves around the moral principle that it is
his solemn duty to Allah to treat his wife with kindness, honor, and
patience; to keep her honorably or free her from the marital bond
honorably; and to cause her no harm or grief. AllahAlmighty says:
"…consort with them in kindness, for if you hate them it may happen
that you hate a thing wherein Allah has placed much good." (An-Nisa':
19)
The role of the wife is summarized in the verse that women have rights
even as they have duties, according to what is equitable; but men have
adegree over them. Allah Almighty says, "And they (women) have rights
similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are adegree
above them. Allah is Mighty, Wise." (Al-Baqaraqh: 228)
This degree is usually interpreted by Muslim scholars in conjunction
with another passage which states, among other things, that men
aretrustees, guardians, and protectors of women because Allah has made
some of them excel others and because men expend of their means. Allah
Almighty says: "Menare in charge of women,because Allah has made the
one of them to excelthe other, and because they spend of their
property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient,
guarding in secret that which Allah has guarded. As for those from
whom you fear rebellion, admonishthem and banish them to beds apart,
and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them.
Lo! Allah is ever High Exalted, Great." (An-Nisa':34)
A-The Wife's Rights; The Husband's Obligations:
Indonesian Muslim couple
Because the Qur'an and the Sunnah of the Prophet, peace and blessings
be upon him, have commanded kindness to women, it is the husband's
duty to:
1- Consort with his wife inan equitable and kind manner. Allah
Almighty says, "… and consort with them in kindness." (An-Nisa': 19)
2- Have responsibility for the full maintenance of the wife, a duty
which he must discharge cheerfully,without reproach, injury, or
condescendence. Allah Almighty says: "Let him who has abundance spend
of his abundance,and he whose provisionis measured, let him spend of
that which Allah has given him. Allah asks naught of anysoul save that
which He has given it. Allah will vouchsafe, after hardship, ease.‏"
(At-Talaq: 7)
Components of Maintenance:
Maintenance entails the wife's incontestable right to lodging,
clothing, nourishing, and general care and well-being.
1-The wife's residence must be adequate so as toprovide her with the
reasonable level of privacy, comfort, and independence. The welfare of
the wife and the stability of the marriage should be the ultimate
goal.
2-What is true of the residence is true of clothing, food, and general
care. The wife hasthe right to be clothed, fed, and cared for by the
husband, in accordance with his means and her style of life. These
rights are to be exercised without extravagance or miserliness.
Non-Material Rights:
A husband is commanded by the law of God to:
1- Treat his wife with equity.
2- Respect her feelings, and to show her kindness and consideration.
3- Not to show his wife any aversion or to subject her to suspense or
uncertainty.
4- Not to keep his wife with the intention of inflicting harm on her
or hindering her freedom.
5- Let her demand freedom from the marital bond, if he has no love or
sympathy for her.
B. The Wife's Obligations; The Husband's Rights:
The main obligation of the wife as a partner in a marital relationship
is to contribute to the success and blissfulness of the marriage as
much as possible. She must be attentive to the comfort and well-being
of her mate. She may neither offend him nor hurt his feelings.
:->
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3a] 5 Ways to Reconnect with the Spirituality of Ramadan

3a]
interest to your family.
4. Experiment with Sadaqa
Do new types of sadaqa (acts of goodness and charity), and take
comfort that what you already do for family and friends is sadaqa as
well. I used to get discouraged each Ramadan (especially once I was a
parent), that I couldn't properly do thosethings recommended to
Muslims during Ramadan: Go for tarawih prayers in the evening, or read
the entire Qur'an. But my mom and mother-in-law gave me sound insight:
Everything you do for the comfort of your family is sadaqa and a way
of worshipping God.
That being said, Ramadan is still a great time to try new acts of
charity and goodness: Put aside a can of food a day and donate it all
when the month is up; Cook a few dishes andtake them to your mosque
for those come there to have iftar; Volunteer at your child's school
for the month and offer to do a Ramadan presentation to explain why
your child is fasting.
Not Muslim? Recognizing the things you do for family and friends as
acts of goodness that are acknowledged by God is agreat step toward
achieving inner spirituality. But take a step out of your comfort zone
to tackle one small charitable project each month, whether it's
donating a little money each day to your favorite charity or taking
charge ofyour office's annual volunteer project.
5. Reconnect with Your Community
For many Muslim Americans, about the onlytime they can find to go to
the mosque is for Friday prayers, or on Sunday when scores of kids
take part in Muslim Sunday school. During Ramadan, why not make the
mosque an integral part of worship? Go there for as many tarawih
prayers as you can, especially the end ones when the Qur'an is being
completed. Pick one day aweek and go to your mosque for iftar. It's
amazing how good we feel to see others fasting and striving as much as
we are, and it can renew our strength to face the next week of fasting
with vigor and joy.
Not Muslim? If you are religious, try visiting your church, synagogue,
or temple outside of worshipservices. You may meet different people
and partake in different experiences that can replenish your spiritual
well. If you don't favor any particular house of worship, designate
some spot–a park or your backyard at sunset–whereyou feel some calm
and visit it with family or friends, free of mental distractions, and
with a focus on each other.

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3] 5 Ways to Reconnect with the Spirituality of Ramadan

3]
Ramadan, the ninth month in the Islamic calendar, is special to
millions of Muslims worldwide as a holy period dedicated to fasting,
self-purification, and spiritual attainment. Every year the world's
Muslims redesign their lifeto focus on the goals of Ramadan: A
whole-body awareness of God and a humble thankfulness for whatever
blessings He hasgranted.
But Ramadan in non-Muslim countries can be more challenging, as
Muslims try to navigate the requirements and recommendations of
Ramadan–fasting from sunrise to sunset, fitting in the five daily
prayers attheir appointed times, attending special evening tarawih
prayers at the mosque, and reading the Qur'an each day for an entire
month–while juggling the demands of work, school, and family.
While I passed lunchtime in my junior high school guidance counselor's
office during Ramadan, or sneaked a date and waterto break fast during
an evening class in college, or grabbed five minutes in my editor's
office to pray at my first job, my cousins in the United ArabEmirates,
Saudi Arabia, and in Pakistan enjoyed half-days at school and work and
a week's vacation for Eid-ul-Fitr, the holiday at the end of Ramadan.
But I figure, though it's harder to fast and heighten spirituality
when everyone around you isn't joining in, it sure makes the inner
striving more special. And 18 years of fasting in this country have
taught me some valuable strategies for living a Muslim life in
anon-Muslim society while enjoying both.
Here are five practices I'vefound helpful in simplifying and
spiritualizing my Ramadan experience. And if you're not a Muslim,
these tips can be adapted to make your daily life a little more
spiritual and uncomplicated.
1. Take the Remembrance of God Inward
Do as much dhikr as you can during Ramadan
Do dhikr (reciting short du'as, or supplications) silently while
you're driving, waiting in line somewhere, or doing endless household
tasks. Keep a thasbi (the equivalent of a Muslim rosary) in your purse
or pocket and use it to countoff du'as.
Not Muslim? Spending whatever downtime you have to remember God or
peacefully meditate is a great idea for everyone. Thousands of hours
go by every year in our work commutes, in chauffeuring our kids
around, in keeping the house going. Why not try to use that time to
quiet our minds, remind ourselves of a higher being, and appreciate
what we've been given?
2. Appreciate Technology, and ThenTune It Out
In past Ramadans I always went on a sort of technology crash
diet–television, music, inane web surfing, and movies were all
self-banned for 30 days. All the extra time was designated for reading
Qur'an, praying, and reconnecting with my family. Well, crash diets
never work in the long term, and technology does keep the world
connected.
So the better thing to do is to use technology wisely: Use your email
to stay in contact with friends and family and seehow their month is
going,get the news from television and the Internet, watch one
favorite TV show to wind down, and use your ipod to listen to Muslim
books or Qur'anic prayers. And then, when basic needs have been met,
turn the technology off and take the extra time to pray andreconnect.
Not Muslim? The same rule can apply. Use the technology to do what you
need to do for work and family. But then, instead of spending
hourssurfing the web or TV channels, fight the urge and tune out.
Discover your family, and discover meditation and prayer. You can
start slow–cut out an hour of web surfing (or one TV program) every
week andbuild up.
The Al-Zaim family of Duxbury, Massachusetts sits, gathered together
fortheir dinner after 7pm on September 14th, 2008, to break their
Ramadan Fast.(Justine Hunt/Globe Staff Photo) #
3. Iftar as a Family
Having iftar as a family more often should be easier this Ramadan.
Muslims follow a lunar calendar, which moves Ramadan back 10 days
earlier each year. This year nearly half of the month will progress
with iftar time being around 7 p.m.–late enough for the family to be
home together. Breaking fast with the family is a great opportunity to
appreciate one another's holy efforts and discuss spiritual topics.
Not Muslim? The family dinner is a concept hammered home by family and
social organizations. Even some television stations, like Nickelodeon,
show promos advising us to "Make time for the family table." A weekly
or bi-weekly family dinner isa great time to reconnect, to learn about
each other,and to discuss a designated list of topics that are of
interest to your family.

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Willing to Excel

This is all too familiar for a Muslim family who busy themselves
preparing for 'Iftar' - the dinner that marks the breaking of a
religious fast.
During the holy month of Ramadan, millions of Muslims from around the
globe will undergo a physical and mental abstinence known as fasting.
From the time dawn breaks in the morning, until the time the sun sets
at night, Muslims will refrain from eating or drinking, partaking in
sexual activity, speaking or actingin an obscene manner, or indulging
the mind and heart in things other than the remembrance of Allah. In
other words, for a period of 30 days, Muslims will focus on devoting
themselves to steady prayer and self-control.
Muslims Rise to the Challenge
This period of self-denial requires an incredible forceof will power,
and yet millions of Muslims worldwide will rise to the challenge. The
most addicted of smokers will give up their habits in order to comply
with the rules of fasting. Those like myself, with a strong
relationship to all things chocolate, will ignore the glistening
shimmer of a glazed doughnut and wait patiently for sundown to indulge
in sugary sweets. Even those with the occasional outburst of road rage
will simply grit their teeth and mutter the words '"Please watch out
Mr. cut-me-off" rather thanthe usual 'friendly' greeting.
Why Only in Ramadan?
This determination to better one's self as a Muslim and humanitarian
is so strong that one cannot help but feel proudat the accomplishment.
For30 days I can experience the joys of belonging to a community who
pray, fast and break fast in unison. I can sympathise with thosewho
are less fortunate than myself by suffering asthey suffer. I can act
on this sympathy by fulfilling my duty and paying a donation to the
poor, providing a meal for people in need and physically making a
contribution to assist others.
And so I begin to wonder: why should such accomplishments prevail only
in Ramadan? Why can't it be 'Ramadan' all year round so to speak? AsI
sit by my colleague, who nervously bends a paper clip in the hope of
quashing his nicotine craving, I realise that as the holiest month in
the Islamic calendar, ignoring the obligations of Ramadan would cost
morethan the puff of a cigarette.
Determining Priorities
The spiritual blessings received during Ramadan are so great that even
those most distant from their faith will surrender toGod. Living in a
city as diverse as Sydney, some will often be influenced bya culture
not of their own. It may be choosing to live a lifestyle which is
contradictory to the Islamic ideal. It may be thepreoccupation with
achieving a 'status' of importance in order to obtain respect and gain
a voice within the wider community. It may even be as simple as
changing the radio dial in one's mind - from highly focusedon your
duties as a good Muslim, to preoccupied with surviving a hectic dayat
work and home. Whatever the choice, it is up to the individual to
determine his or her priority in life, and fulfill it with only the
fear of judgment by a higher power.
Unfortunately for some, keeping up appearances infront of fellow
Muslims in order to live by a different set of standards seems to be
the solution. Always looking over their shoulder, always worrying
about getting caught in anact of indiscretion. This façade seems to
provide a superficial sense of 'freedom' and yet, as a Muslim, the
only consequences they should fear are those which come from God.
Perhaps a sense of duty is intensified during Ramadan, for there is no
other explanation forwhy this façade comes to ahalt only during this
time of the year.
Attaining Humility All Year Round
Those who focus on attaining that level of humility all year round
should be applauded for their strength of character and
responsibility. For choosing to live without being ashamed of their
identity as an Australian-Muslim. For being more concerned about how
God perceives them rather thanbow to external pressures from society.
And most of all, for setting an example to all those channel
surferswho display an outstanding force of will power and yet do not
go the extra mile unless asked to do so.
It is this which highlights the true beauty of Ramadan - its ability
to unite a community and people, and to encourage an attitude of peace
and generosity. If excelling as afaithful believer and good
humanitarian for 30 days reaps such rewards, then itwould only be a
disservice to ourselves to keep such behaviour dormant for another 335
days of the year. So as I pass by the bakery and look at that
doughnut, I learn that simplicity is the key to a good life - I can
have my cake and eat it too.

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