Question One: Should Istikhara be prayed once or multiple times?

Question One: Should Istikhara be prayed once or multiple times?

Answer:
Assalamu alaikum. When one is not clear about the result of the
istikhara , the fuqaha mention that it is recommended to repeat it, up
to seven times if necessary (usually done on separate occasions).

Getting a Dream After Istikhara?
It is not necessary that you get a dream or even a "feeling". Rather,
the istikhara is a prayer that Allah guide you towards that which is
best (khayr) for you. If you do the prayer of guidance (istikhara)
with the propermanners, the most important of which is to truly
consign the matter to Allah and suspend your own inclinations, then
Allah will make events unfold in the direction that is the best for
your worldly and next-worldly affairs.
In general, when it is not possible to perform the istikhara prayer
itself (suchas when one is out on the road, or in one's
menstrualperiod), it is recommendedto simply read the dua itself.
[Radd al-Muhtar]
The istikhara prayer may be made for a specific matter or be made for
a general seeking of all that is best. Some scholars, including Imam
Abd al-Wahhab al-Sha`rani andIbn `Arafah before him saw this kind of
(specific) istikhara prayer as being superior.
Others, including Shaykh Ibn al-Arabi, recommended performinga general
istikhara prayer for all that is good every day, ideally at the time
of the Duha prayer (after sunrise).
Before Istikhara Prayer
Imam al-Nawawi mentioned that before theistikhara prayer, one should
seek advice (istishara) from those whose knowledge, wisdom, and
concern one is confident.
Ibn Hajar al-Haytami and others mentioned that one of the benefits of
this is to further distance oneself from the desires ofone's own
egotistical inclinations.
Opening the Prayer
It is recommended to open the dua of istikhara [below], with praise of
Allah and sending blessings on the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him
peace), and to close it in this manner, too.

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Muhammad Ali’s daughter arrived at his home

Muhammad Ali's daughter arrived at his home wearing revealing clothes.
He said to her: 'Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world
is covered and hard to get to.Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in
the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down
at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful
shell. Where do you find gold? Way down and in... the mine, covered
over with layers and layers of rock. You've got to work hard to get
them.'
He looked at her with serious eyes and then said 'Your body is sacred.
You'refar more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be
covered too.'

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My husband relies on me financially, so I have to work. I am not loved for who I am.

Dear Sisters/brothers,

What I have to say today to you I have not said before to anyone.
I have ran these thoughts in my head several times and have only said
it to ALLAH. I have been married for 14 years now. From the beginning,
I hadto work although I hated working life. I so much wanted to be a
good housewife and good mother-to-be. This was a love marriage. I
married my husband because the truth is I was never liked by anybody
else but him. My cousins my age were getting married and the truth is
I didn't think anyone like him would like me as I am not fair and not
very beautiful. Anyway, when we marriedhe made it very clear I hadto
work as he didn't earn agood salary and also we were going to live on
our own. I agreed, thinking that after my first son wasborn I could
leave, but then he also said that he didn't like a woman to sit at
home and get fat. Because he is very handsome, I didn't want him to
lose interest in me so I worked.
I always earned a better salary then him. He had an affair and I
caught him. He was very sorry and promised never to do it again. He
lost my trust completely up to today. By then I also wanted to be the
woman he wanted, so I continued to work even after I had my two kids,
which family looked after, and I sometimes think it killed a bit of
the mother in me that I could have been. I changed jobsand always
earned better than him. He used to be very happy with me whenI
worked and if I was out of a job it caused tension. When I brought it
up he would he told me he liked a working woman. I eventually stuck
at a very good job for about 8 yearsand earned very well in this time.
He lost his job and with the help of my family and me he set up his
own business. He promised that when it gotbetter I could leave but I
had to put the pressure onto eventually leave my joband stay home.
The business took care of us for a couple of good years,and then all
of a sudden last year, things began to go bad , and even worse this
year.
I don't have a good relationship with a certain family member on his
sideof the family and noticed that at times my husband is off me when
something comes up about this person. ALLAH alone is mywitness that I
have done no wrong to this person. Also my brother has helped us out
with some money and my husband needs more, gives me the guilt trip
that when my brother cannot help us again. He somehow takes out all
of this on me. I have always been the one to make things happen
forus. My personality is like that. I'm not afraid to make the calls
and pull thestrings. When I get thingsright he is so happy with me
but when things are bad he holds me responsible. I've realised itso
now if ever things do come right I don't feel anyhonesty in his love
because I feel like I spoil him with my personality of making things
happen for us.
Now when I am sitting back and he can't make it, he is taking it out
on me. I am hating my life and myself right now. I've done alot of
good for people who have turned on me and I wonder why. I have prayed
and begged ALLAH but to no avail. Please just listen to me. Maybe I
just needed to tellsomeone and I don't have the guts to bad-mouth
myhusband to anyone -- not even my own family. And now I have no one
to talk to or share my feelings with. I've always been loyal to a
lot of people butI feel like no one genuinely likes me for whom I am
-- not even my husband. I am liked for what I can do for them,not for
who I am, and thatREALLY hurts!
~Razeena

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Abused by my father, and now by my husband, and I am almost insane

assalaam alaikum to all
i am a 26 year old girl who's been married past 15 months. I am a girl
with a mental disorder because my father used toabuse me when I was
younger.
But it is only my husband now, and he does it very rarely, but when he
does, he hurts me very badly. Hepunches me, pulls my hair,but this has
been going onsince I came here. And because of this, I am, in a way,
quite twisted.
Ever since i got married my inlaws gave me a tough time. As a child
growing, I had a tough lifeas my sister got divorced when i was still
in school, my brother had heart attacks... dad is a very violent
person very strict with us... i used to obey my father always but he
isunnecessarily strict... and orders all the time.. everyone in my
family andoutside the family is scared of my dad. but i know he's the
best when he cares..
But because of my dad's excessively violent nature and restrictions i
fell into an immature and stubborn state of emotions where i got
involved with my husbandin an affair before marriage and then
forciblyconvinced my parents to allow me to marry the guyi want...
also my dad had given up on life 10 years ago when my sister got
divorced so he was not bothered if i am going to the right house...
Therefore i felt the need toget independent and the best way out was
to get married... but unfortunately i got married into a very very
very bad family.. to a guy who's lying 24x7.. as he thinks my family
is gonna shower him with money and houses... but reality is that my
dad has no money now.. we had a huge list of troubles in ourlives... i
discontinued my bds 2nd year since i got married... as i hate my
college atmosphere which has religious differences... iuse to do hijab
and they dnt like it so i was boycotted by the staff... i thought i
will be free oncei get married to the guy who loves me... but he never
loved me he loved the money which he thought we had... and when he
found no money he along with his family started to torture me.
My husband has just finished his mis(mba) fromusa... n i live with him
alone now... earlier when icame to USA as a dependent i stayed at my
husband's sister's house for a month , god... she showed me hell in 15
days... as i didnt know cooking at all... i learned cooking as fast as
i can to keep my husband happy and healthy.. we moved from her house
after a month of fights n torture.. she is 39 years ald n compares
herself with me... i hate her and alwayslaugh at her immaturity...
anyway.. now the only way out of this trouble i thought would be to
earn money myself so that i wont be a burden on my husband as he was
counting the money whichhe spends on groceries.. my husband fights
with me all the time and warns me that he will divorce men asked me to
leave and he's creating a scene each time so that i should leavehim
myself. he's been repeating about divorce for many times now.. as he
is looking for a citizen girl who has a green card...n till then he is
using me as a slave to cook for him and earn money for him and satisfy
his needs ... ya ALLAH help me... i am in such pain...
i also was forced to have an abortion after 3 months of marriage... n
my husband is not planning to keep me as hiswife as i dnt have a green
card...
imagine, i cook, i earn money, i clean the house, iwash his clothes, i
never made anything more than a cup of tea b4 marriage nnow he made me
a servant in one year of married life.. plzz give me advice on what to
do?? i am alone in USA with my husband suffering beyond tolerance..
any advice is appreciated.. may ALLAH have mercy on
all..ameen..otherwise i will commit suicide....
I am anti-social, paranoid, angry, depressed, and I have the darkest
thoughts.I involuntarily think of ways to kill people. And they're
very imaginative... Because of my parents, I believe that there is no
good in this world, and because of my husband, I hate humans. I
honestly do.
When I am severely angry or severely upset, I am dangerous. I can
seriously hurt someone. But I reach the limit of my insanity, and I'm
someone I can't even recognize. I am suicidal. I want to drug, smoke
and drink myself todeath (but I have never done any of this).i tried
it though, I harm myself, harm others, attempt suicide, scream,
shout,abuse everyone or anyone i see but inside mybrain not on their
face,slapmyself, break things, and worst of all, I i insult ALLAH and
islam.

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