FiveWords That Changed My Life

Today, while out with my family at the Ashby Flea Market in Berkeley
California, I ran into a man who changed the entire course of my life
fifteen years ago. And he did it with a smile and one simple question.
I have no doubt in my mind that hadI not met this man on that cold day
in February, that I would either be dead or in prison.
Fifteen years ago while on my way to a college class, Iran into a
familiar looking guy who pointed at my shirt and said "good looking
out" and stood up and shook my hand. I was sporting dread locks,
wearing a Haile Selassie shirt, baggy jeans, suede Pumas, sunglasses
and a Sessions snowboarder jacket. I was the quintessential hard to
labelCalifornia Bay Area pseudo hip hop hippie skater. Happy because
of my rasta shirt he guy said to me "Hey I think I know you dude, we
met at such and such a place. My name is Whitney Canon (who we now
know as USAMA CANON)." I answered in the affirmative and we struck up
a conversation and realized we had several mutual friends. This
"chance" meeting would prove to be "one of two" ofthe most important
random occurrences in my life.
Strangely it ended up that we had the same Spanish class together and
ended up sitting next to one another. Over the course ofa few days we
learned thatwe were both musicians / artists. Usama had the codeto the
piano room in the music hall so we'd sneak into the room and sit and
play music for hours and talk about spirituality. We did this just
about every day for an entire semester.
One day while eating sushi at a popular Japanese restaurant near
campus I confided in Usama and toldhim I was burnt out and tired of my
life and that I had decided to get things back on track. I was living
by myself in downtown San Jose, working nights waiting tables and
going to school during the day. There were many things about my
lifestyle (that I won't go into detail about here) that were
preventingme from success. I also hadthe burden of past demonsthat
would sneak up to torment me from time to time. So, the only real
solution I knew of to deal with problems of this magnitude was to get
religious and go back to church.
I told Usama that I was considering going back to the Catholicism to
get my life in order. He asked me ifI'd ever thought about Islam. I
told him that I hadn't thought of it for myself because I felt it was
either an Arab religion or a separatist black movement(which I
couldn't join because my mother is white) and that I felt the only
Muslims I had ever met were hypocrites and that I'd never seen a good
practicing Muslim.
He told me about his older brother (ANAS CANON) converting to orthodox
Islam after a short time in the Nation Of Islam and that it wasn't
just for Arabsbut that from what he knew it was a pretty universal
religion. (NOTE: Usama wasn't Muslim yet when he was telling me this).
He asked me if I knewabout Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon Him) and I
told him that I just knew ofElijah Muhammad but that even Malcolm X
said he wasn't a real prophet. He then explained to me that there was
a different man named Muhammad that was a real Prophet from Arabia and
that I should look into him. At this point I started to get turned off
as I usually did whenever anybody spoke to me overtly about religion.
Plus once he said "Arab Prophet" I knew that Islamwasn't for me. We
ended the conversation and I headed to work. This was aWednesday.
That night after work I went to the bookstore to buy a Bible and I
walked past the "Eastern Philosophy" section and looked up and saw a
greenbook that had the name 'MUHAMMAD' written downthe entire spine in
gold letters. I stopped and thought for a moment and then reached up
and grabbed the book. The cover said 'MUHAMMAD – His Life Based On The
Earliest Sources" by Martin Lings. This phrase "earliest sources"
intrigued me because although I was there to purchase a bible, I was
aware of the theological debate about the number of mistakes found in
the bible and it was something that troubled me greatly. So, I opened
up the book and tried to read it but the Arabic names were really
difficult for me to pronounce and so I was struggling to get through
even a couple sentences. The four or five sentences I did read
mentioned the "QUR'AN" several times. The Arabic names solidifiedthe
reality that this was an Arab religion and not something I would want
tobe a part of so I put the book back up on the shelf.
As I began to walk away the gold letters "MUHAMMAD" caught my eye
again and looked back up at the book. This time, I noticed another
book titled"THE QU'RAN." I was going to keep walking but I remembered
that I saw that word a few times in the Martin Lings book so I reached
up and pulled it offthe shelf.

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Question One: Should Istikhara be prayed once or multiple times?

Question One: Should Istikhara be prayed once or multiple times?

Answer:
Assalamu alaikum. When one is not clear about the result of the
istikhara , the fuqaha mention that it is recommended to repeat it, up
to seven times if necessary (usually done on separate occasions).

Getting a Dream After Istikhara?
It is not necessary that you get a dream or even a "feeling". Rather,
the istikhara is a prayer that Allah guide you towards that which is
best (khayr) for you. If you do the prayer of guidance (istikhara)
with the propermanners, the most important of which is to truly
consign the matter to Allah and suspend your own inclinations, then
Allah will make events unfold in the direction that is the best for
your worldly and next-worldly affairs.
In general, when it is not possible to perform the istikhara prayer
itself (suchas when one is out on the road, or in one's
menstrualperiod), it is recommendedto simply read the dua itself.
[Radd al-Muhtar]
The istikhara prayer may be made for a specific matter or be made for
a general seeking of all that is best. Some scholars, including Imam
Abd al-Wahhab al-Sha`rani andIbn `Arafah before him saw this kind of
(specific) istikhara prayer as being superior.
Others, including Shaykh Ibn al-Arabi, recommended performinga general
istikhara prayer for all that is good every day, ideally at the time
of the Duha prayer (after sunrise).
Before Istikhara Prayer
Imam al-Nawawi mentioned that before theistikhara prayer, one should
seek advice (istishara) from those whose knowledge, wisdom, and
concern one is confident.
Ibn Hajar al-Haytami and others mentioned that one of the benefits of
this is to further distance oneself from the desires ofone's own
egotistical inclinations.
Opening the Prayer
It is recommended to open the dua of istikhara [below], with praise of
Allah and sending blessings on the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him
peace), and to close it in this manner, too.

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Muhammad Ali’s daughter arrived at his home

Muhammad Ali's daughter arrived at his home wearing revealing clothes.
He said to her: 'Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world
is covered and hard to get to.Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in
the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down
at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful
shell. Where do you find gold? Way down and in... the mine, covered
over with layers and layers of rock. You've got to work hard to get
them.'
He looked at her with serious eyes and then said 'Your body is sacred.
You'refar more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be
covered too.'

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My husband relies on me financially, so I have to work. I am not loved for who I am.

Dear Sisters/brothers,

What I have to say today to you I have not said before to anyone.
I have ran these thoughts in my head several times and have only said
it to ALLAH. I have been married for 14 years now. From the beginning,
I hadto work although I hated working life. I so much wanted to be a
good housewife and good mother-to-be. This was a love marriage. I
married my husband because the truth is I was never liked by anybody
else but him. My cousins my age were getting married and the truth is
I didn't think anyone like him would like me as I am not fair and not
very beautiful. Anyway, when we marriedhe made it very clear I hadto
work as he didn't earn agood salary and also we were going to live on
our own. I agreed, thinking that after my first son wasborn I could
leave, but then he also said that he didn't like a woman to sit at
home and get fat. Because he is very handsome, I didn't want him to
lose interest in me so I worked.
I always earned a better salary then him. He had an affair and I
caught him. He was very sorry and promised never to do it again. He
lost my trust completely up to today. By then I also wanted to be the
woman he wanted, so I continued to work even after I had my two kids,
which family looked after, and I sometimes think it killed a bit of
the mother in me that I could have been. I changed jobsand always
earned better than him. He used to be very happy with me whenI
worked and if I was out of a job it caused tension. When I brought it
up he would he told me he liked a working woman. I eventually stuck
at a very good job for about 8 yearsand earned very well in this time.
He lost his job and with the help of my family and me he set up his
own business. He promised that when it gotbetter I could leave but I
had to put the pressure onto eventually leave my joband stay home.
The business took care of us for a couple of good years,and then all
of a sudden last year, things began to go bad , and even worse this
year.
I don't have a good relationship with a certain family member on his
sideof the family and noticed that at times my husband is off me when
something comes up about this person. ALLAH alone is mywitness that I
have done no wrong to this person. Also my brother has helped us out
with some money and my husband needs more, gives me the guilt trip
that when my brother cannot help us again. He somehow takes out all
of this on me. I have always been the one to make things happen
forus. My personality is like that. I'm not afraid to make the calls
and pull thestrings. When I get thingsright he is so happy with me
but when things are bad he holds me responsible. I've realised itso
now if ever things do come right I don't feel anyhonesty in his love
because I feel like I spoil him with my personality of making things
happen for us.
Now when I am sitting back and he can't make it, he is taking it out
on me. I am hating my life and myself right now. I've done alot of
good for people who have turned on me and I wonder why. I have prayed
and begged ALLAH but to no avail. Please just listen to me. Maybe I
just needed to tellsomeone and I don't have the guts to bad-mouth
myhusband to anyone -- not even my own family. And now I have no one
to talk to or share my feelings with. I've always been loyal to a
lot of people butI feel like no one genuinely likes me for whom I am
-- not even my husband. I am liked for what I can do for them,not for
who I am, and thatREALLY hurts!
~Razeena

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