Advise ~ someone who helps you be a better and stronger you ♥

The person you choose to be your partner in
life should be someone who will help you to
do the right things and make the right
decisions
someone who can uplift you morally and who
will always remind you that Allah is sufficient
for you in times of trials
someone who will remind you of Allah and
the fact that you are going to stand in front of
Him alone one day
someone who helps you be a better and
stronger you ♥
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Hadees ~ Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wasallam) as a teacher.

"Jabir b. Abdullah reported that Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi
wasallam) happened to walk through the bazaar coming from the side of
'Aliya and people wereon both sides of him. There he found a dead lamb
with very short ears. He took hold of its ear and said: 'Who amongst
you would like to have this for a dirham?' They said: 'We would not
like to have it even for less than that as it is of no use to us.' He
said: 'Do you wish to have it (free of any cost)?' They said: 'By
Allah, even if it were alive (we would not have liked to possess it),
for there is defect in it, as its ear is very short; on top of that it
is dead now.' Thereupon, Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wasallam)
said: 'By Allah, this world is more insignificant in the eyes of Allah
than (this dead lamb) is in your eyes.'" [Muslim]
This hadith is a wonderful reminder of the insignificance of this
world; yet how much we fret for it. Our worries for the things of this
world should be more proportionate to their importance. We ask Allah
(subhana wa ta'ala) to give us eternity, never ending life. On topof
that we want it in a place better than we can possibly imagine. In it
we expect to have youth for ever, no noise, nothing unpleasant, no
worries. In this everlasting life, in Paradise, we also expect to get
more beautiful and enjoy more luxuries with each passing day, although
after the first day we cannot imagine that anything could be better.
We expect never to be separated from our loved ones, or feel anything
except positive emotions. In return for this, whenAllah (subhana wa
ta'ala) asks us to obey Him for just 70-80 years, maybe a little more
or a little less, we think it too much? He is askingyou for a drop,
while you are asking Him for the ocean!
This hadith also illustrates what an exceptional teacher Rasul
Allah(sal Allahu alaihi wasallam) was. We know what impact visual aids
have. The more theoretical the words, the less of an impact they have,
the more the thoughts can be translated into visuals or experiential,
the more lasting its impact. Now we have educationists teaching us to
use the same techniques that were employed by Rasul Allah (sal Allahu
alaihi wasallam) as a teacher.
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Hadees ~ Yellow and Gold

The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "There is
ruin for the women covered with gold and coloured in yellow colour."
[Ibn Habban]
This warning is given to those women who are mad after jewelry and
fine dress and are thus negligent of their duties and responsibilitie
s as Muslimahs.
The yellow/ orange-yellow colour that comes from dying with saffron
was forbidden by the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) for men to
wear, as is gold. While these things are not forbidden for women they
are disliked in excess.
A preoccupation with one's dress,ornamentation and looks results from
clinging to the world. It shows an attachment to perishable things
that can only bring one ruin.
A meaningful sentence written ona gravestone read: "As you are, so we
were. As we are, so shall you be."
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Story ~ Love Defeats Bigotry

I don't mean to portray myself as an enlightened soul. I've made
myshare of mistakes and I still struggle not to be judgmental or
reactive. But I've also had experiences that have shown me the way
forward. One was with my former sister-in-law, Crystal. I am divorced
now, but I was married for ten years. Laura (my ex-wife) and her
family were not Muslim, and her family had their reservations about
our marriage. Her mother expressed a fear that I would kidnap our
future children and take them to Egypt (even though I've never lived
in Egypt). "Like Sally Field in 'Not Without my Daughter'", she said.
One day I was at a restaurant with Laura, her mother and her sister.
When the waiter came to our table, he said to me, "As-salamu alaykum."
I did not know him, but I was wearing a kufi and had a beard. I
replied, "Wa alaykum as-salam." Crystal began laughing, and after the
dinner was over, when we were going to the car, she began saying,
"Salami, salami, baloney."
At the time I was in a mental statewhere I was fed up with bigotry. I
had experienced a lot of it, and Ihad no more patience for it. I told
Crystal that her behavior was rude and bigoted. She got extremely
angry, and after that I was a persona non-grata at my in-laws' house.
I was not invited to their home for any reason, andthere was no
communication whatsoever between me and them for more than a year.
After that my mother-in-law reached out to me tentatively, and
offereda makeshift apology, which I accepted. But Crystal remained
angry.
Later, Laura and I moved to Panama. The place where we lived was so
beautiful and peaceful, and the natives were so accepting of us, that
I found my heart healing. The in-laws still didn't quite accept me –
in fact Laura's father came to visit once and told me angrily that my
religion was ridiculous and backwards – but I found that it did not
bother me so much. WhenI returned to the USA for a visit I spoke to
Crystal. I said, "I apologize for my attitude in the past. I love you
and your family. You all mean a lot to me." I said that sincerely,
holding in my mindall the good I had experienced from Crystal over the
years, and forgiving the bad.
From that moment on, my relationship with Crystal was transformed. She
came to visit us in Panama and had a great time. After my divorce,
when I returned to California, Crystal actually began attending my
martial arts class. She became more open minded, began exploring
religious thinking outside of the narrow Christian fundamentalist box
she had always lived in. I'm not saying that any of that is because of
me. But what I can attest to is that ever since I gathered the resolve
to say to her, "I love you and I value you," she has not showed ahint
of bigotry or anger toward me, and in fact has become a pleasant
person to relate to.
I"m afraid I may be telling a string of random stories here. I don't
know if I'm communicating this thesis I have, this understanding, that
sincere love is transformational. When you can love someone without
desire,expectation, or judgment, it utterly changes your relationship
with that person, even with thosewho hate you. I believe this is
theessence of faith. It is the heart of da'wah. It is the Golden Rule.
I have given examples of one-on-one interaction, but I believe that
love and kindness can work their wonders just as well when it's one to
a thousand, or ten to a million, just as a single great ocean wave can
flood a whole city, except that love is a good flood that washes away
the fires of hatred.
Lead the Way
Do you want to see something different in the world? Show it. Do you
want to see things moving in a better direction? Then get stepping and
walk it, and I guarantee that others will follow, because they have
seen the problems as well, and they arewaiting for someone to lead the
way.
Do you want to be a better Muslim, father, mother, son, daughter,
sibling, or friend? Then be it. Now is the moment. The past is
prologue leading to this moment.
Are you waiting for someone elseto show love and kindness first? Are
you waiting for someone elseto be vulnerable or brave, to put himself
out there, to take the first step, to show the way? There is no
someone else. You are the someone else. You… are… someone.
Le'ts open ourselves to faith, love and kindness. Let's change the way
we move in the world, the way we behave with Allah, the way we treat
people, the way we interact with every person. Let us become
testaments to the power of these transformative behaviors, not through
our words but through our actions. Let's express a new sincerity from
our hearts and walk through the world like believers. Let's become
people of Allah, people of Jannah (Paradise), people of imaan (faith),
love and mercy
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