family Articles, - Shy and Afraid

Assalam Aleikkum,
I apologize in advance for the length of this question, and thank you for reading it through. Advice is sought because those who seek advice among believers will be confident (paraphrasing).
I am 24 years old and just about to graduate. And I would like to get married soon after because it is Sunnah to get married young and it completes half your Deen. However, what’s missing from this equation is the right candidate. There have been a few guys who have wanted to go out with me and I even tried it once, but it ended fast because it didn’t feel right. I was guilty the whole time and felt that it was just doomed because it was a Haram relationship.
Last year, at school, I met a decent, pious Muslim brother who turned out to be my cousin. He is very smart, kind, generous and humble. I got to know him passively because he used to visit my parents and talk to them. Then he graduated and moved away so he no longer comes to visit, and I find myself missing him (Is that wrong?) and wishing that he would come sometimes.
Lately, I have been considering telling my mother about this because I think he would make a good husband. But I am afraid. This is because of a number of reasons:
1) There is a family rumor that he may like another of our cousins and wants to marry her when she graduates. This is what the girl says (we are kind of close) and she is generally a truthful person, but he has given no indication other than the usual kind concern for everyone. And she doesn’t really like him, it’s more of her mother- her mother even refused a marriage proposal from someone the girl wanted because of this nice guy.
2) That he may refuse and it will be very embarrassing for me. This is because I don’t think he noticed me in that way or maybe he does not think I am right for him.
3) That my mother will think it’s not a good idea and that will embarrass me, too.
Hence, I have no idea what to do. On one hand, I feel as though I should just leave it alone because what is written for you will never miss you. On the other hand, I feel like if I don’t do something, I will not get what I want because one has to pray as well as act.
What should I do?



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family Articles, - Secret nikkah between sunni/shia

I am ashia, syed muslim girl. When I was doing my bachelors, a guy who is sunni muslim fell in love with me. He followed me for 3 years, then I also felt that he was the man who loves me the most and he is committed. One day, his friend came and told me that he is very much interested in me, so why don’t I say yes to him? so I thought a lot about it, and I allowed him to call me he called me one evening. When I picked up the phone he was crying and begging me not to reject his love. So after a week or so, I also had a feeling of love for him. The only reason behind my falling in love with him was that he was extremely in love with me, and he was not able to forget me or leave me like this.
So we started talking to each other on mobile, but I told him on the very first day that I am shia and I am not a girl of friendship or dating etc; and if he is interested in me then propose me straight away but my parents will never accept him. So he was serious about marrying me and committed, and so was I. He sent a proposal ten times, but my father rejected him just because he is sunni. When I knew that my father would never accept him, we both did nikah secretly.
Then time was passing, and after my bachelors I did an MBA and also worked for 3 years. I was living with my father, and he was abroad. I think 7 or 8 years passed away. I met my husband may be 10-12 times in those 8 years. Now I am fed up living away from him, and he is also very disturbed.
Last week I again told my father to kindly accept his proposal, that I like him, I love him, and I can’t marry anyone else. But he again said that it’s a sin to marry a sunni man, and I am syed so prophet Mohammad (P.B.U.H) will not forgive me if I marry him.
Now I don’t know what to do. I am tired of praying. I prayed so much, I recited so many duas, I fasted so much…but Allah is not listening to me. He is not fulfilling my wish, so what can I do? Please suggest something to me; I can’t leave him because he loves me more than anything in this world and he is my husband now, so I can’t leave him. I didn’t tell my father that I did nikah with him. My father himself is not a very good man, and he has done so many muttas with prostitutes, so I don’t know why is he stopping me. Then he says muttah is halal in islam, but whatever I am doing is haram- marrying a sunni man he will never support me.
Help me! Please, what should I do now????????



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family Articles, - 50 Romantic Things to Do for Your Wife

These ideas for romantic things to do for your wife were all suggested by real wives. Some are expensive, while others cost nothing at all.
No matter your budget, there’s always something you can do to make your wife feel special!
In no particular order:
1.Take your wife on a drive to a place where the two of you can watch the sunset together. Make sure you hold her hand or put your arm around her.
2.Give her a back rub or massage.
3.Make her a handmade bookshelf (or buy it if you prefer, but making things by hand is always romantic). Fill it with books you know she will love – either books she already owns, or new books that you buy for her – and set it next to a snug loveseat sofa just for her. On the other side of the sofa put a small tea table. It will be her special place to relax when you’re not home (or when you’re watching the football game).
4.Give your wife a gift when she least expects it, even if it’s something small.
5.Surprise her with a dream vacation. Make all the arrangements (babysitters for the children, plane tickets, hotel reservations), so that all she has to do is pack a bag. Imagine how thrilling it would be to say to her, “Honey, pack your bag, we’re going to Paris tomorrow)… However I must add two caveats about this one: First, if she works, let her know about the trip well in advance so she can arrange time off from work. Secondly, know your wife’s personality. If she needs time to mentally prepare for new things, then plan the trip accordingly.
6.Make her dinner and have it cooking in the oven when she gets home from work. If you don’t know how to cook, take a cooking class and learn!
7.Bake her a favorite pie, or make her a cake and decorate with a message of love.
8.Write her a poem.
9.If you’re hopeless when it comes to writing poetry, hand-copy a famous love poem onto a card, and write, “This is what I would write for you if I had the words.”
10.You can never go wrong with a hug.
11.Have a bouquet of flowers delivered to her at an unexpected time, along with a love note.
12.Write your wife a letter listing the things for which you feel grateful to her.
13.Write a book and dedicated it to her.
14.Write “I love you” on the bed in flower petals.
15.Leave a small wrapped gift under her pillow – for example a piece of jewelry.
16.Buy her a day at a spa where she can be pampered with a facial, massage, manicure and pedicure, etc.
17.Dress her.
18.Undress her.
19.Brush her hair.
20.Take her bungee-jumping or skydiving.
21.Whisper something loving in her ear when you’re in public.
22.Blindfold her and kiss her all over her body.
23.Look deeply into your wife’s eyes and tell her how beautiful she is to you.
24.Put a love note in her pocket for her to find.
25.Read to your wife.
26.Pray with her.
27.Sing to her.
28.Dance with her.
29.Write her a love letter and draw a flower on the envelope. Take your time and draw something really nice. If you can’t draw, trace it from a magazine photo.
30.Let your wife sit on your lap.
31.In winter, make love in front of a roaring fire in the fireplace.
32.Carry your wife to bed.
33.Call her from work during the day to tell her you love her (just be careful – if you’re calling her at her workplace, make sure that it’s not going to get her in trouble with her boss).
34.Lie together in the backyard (or any secluded, peaceful place) and watch the stars.
35.Take a bubble bath together.
36.Kiss your wife lightly just below the ear, and then whisper, “I love you.”
37.Buy her a ring. It doesn’t have to be an expensive ring, just something pretty in a style she would like.
38.Speaking of buying gifts, pay attention to what she likes. When you’re out together and she sees something in a window and says, “Oh, that’s lovely,” make a mental note, and when you get home, write an actual note in a notebook do you don’t forget. On a special occasion, buy it for her.
39.Go camping together in the woods or the mountains, just the two of you.
40.If you’re on a business trip, call her often to chat (even if only for a few minutes) and tell her you miss her.
41.Know that she needs time with her friends just like you do, and be nice to her friends (without being flirty of course).
42.Learn from her, and let her know that you do.
43.Make sacrifices for her.
44.Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages, including sign language.
45.Defend her when someone says something unkind about her, no matter who it is.
46.Go go the playground and swing on the swings as if you were still teenagers. Just remember to get up if a real kid wants the swing, ha ha.
47.Exercise together. This can be great fun and is a good bonding experience.
48.Go shopping for her, wash the dishes, clean the house (including the bathroom). Share the chores, and some days just do them all.
49.Draw a picture for her of some pretty nature scene (it’s okay if you’re not artistically talented, just do your best) and write some sweet caption beneath, like, “You are as beautiful as a sunset. I love you.”
50.Tell her every day what you love about her. Be specific and mention actual things that you appreciate about her.



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Welcome to Islam, - Islam is not a new message

Since the creation of man, there have been many Divine messages and Prophets, may Allaah exalt their mention, sent by God to humankind. Numerous messages were revealed to many Prophets, may Allaah exalt their mention, who were sent to different nations at different times. However, all these messages, from the first to the last, contained the same in essence. They all called people to worship only The One True God and to do righteous deeds. Allaah, Most Exalted, Says )what means(:"Truly, the religion in the sight of Allaah is Islam…"]Quran 3:19[
According to the verse above and other verses in the Quran, the message that all Prophets called people to was Islam. Since there is only One True God, the message of God must also be One.
However, this message varies in general laws, codes of life and worship )but not in the essential beliefs( according to the diversity of nations, times, conditions, customs and cultures. Every form of this message was sent to a particular nation for a particular time, except the last message revealed to Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, )may Allaah exalt his mention( which was sent to all people and all nations till the Day of Judgment.
Allaah Almighty, informs us in the Holy Quran that many Prophets uttered the word 'Islam' or 'Muslim' such as Nooh )Noah(, Ibraaheem )Abraham(, Ismaa’eel )Ishmael(, Yoosuf )Joseph(, Moosaa )Moses(, may Allaah exalt their mention.
Allaah, The Most High, tells us about Nooh, may Allaah exalt his mention, when he warned his people of disbelief saying )what means(:"But if you turn away )from accepting my doctrine of Islamic Monotheism, i.e. to worship none but Allaah(, then no reward have I asked of you, my reward is only from Allaah, and I have been commanded to be of the Muslims."]Quran 10:72[
Ibraaheem and Yaaqoob )Jacob(, may Allaah exalt their mention, enjoined Islam upon their sons. Allaah Almighty Says )what means(:"And this )submission to Allaah, Islam( was enjoined by Abraham upon his sons and by Jacob )saying( 'O my sons! Allaah has chosen for you the )true( religion, then die not except while you are Muslims."]Quran 2:132[
Ibraaheem and Ismaa’eel, may Allaah exalt their mention, invoked their Lord when they were raising the foundations of the house, the Ka'bah at Makkah, )what means( :"Our Lord! And make us Muslims )in submission( to You and from our descendants a Muslim nation )in submission( to You…" ]Quran 2:128[. Allaah Says in the Quran )what means(:")Solomon said(: 'Be not haughty with me but come to me in submission )as Muslims(.'"]Quran 27:31[
When ‘Eesaa )Jesus(, may Allaah exalt his mention, came to know of his people's disbelief, he said to them )what means(:"…Who will be my helpers in Allaah's Cause?' The disciples said: 'We are the helpers of Allaah; we believe in Allaah, and bear witness that we are Muslims )i.e. we submit to Allaah(.'"]Quran 3:52[
The last of Allaah's prophets, Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was sent to present Allaah's revelation in its final form and for the last time. This was necessary because the message delivered by the previous Prophets and Messengers, may Allaah exalt their mention, had been corrupted or distorted by their followers.
Allaah took it upon Himself to guard the last message )i.e. the Quran and hence Islam( from corruption. He says in the Quran )what means(:"Verily, it is We Who have sent down the message )i. e., the Quran( and surely, We will be its guardian.”]Quran 15:9[
This message is called Islam, which means submission to the will of the only True God, Allaah. In this way, all nations are invited to Islam and Allaah will not accept any religion from them except Islam.
Allaah Says )what means(:"And whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it will never be accepted from him, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers."]Quran 3:85[
The verse mentioned above makes it clear that when we say there is only one religion, it is meant that there is only one true religion. Allaah Almighty, mentions the belief and religions of the polytheists in the Holy Quran )which means(:"Say: ‘O disbelievers, I worship not that which you worship. Nor will you worship that which I worship. And I shall not worship that you which are worshipping. Nor will you worship that which I worship. For you is your religion, and for me is my religion )Islamic Monotheism(.'"]Quran 109:1-4[
To conclude, Islam is the religion, which was given to Aadam, may Allaah exalt his mention, the first man and the first prophet of Allaah, and it was the religion of all the prophets, may Allaah exalt their mention, sent by Allaah to humankind. The name of God's religion -- Islam -- was not decided upon by later generations of man. It was chosen by Allaah Himself and clearly mentioned in His final revelation to man. In Islam it is obligatory to have belief in all Messengers, may Allaah exalt their mention and their messages in the original forms revealed by Allaah. Surely, it is the only way, which can lead people to success in this life and toParadisein the Hereafter.
Allaah's Messenger, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:"By Him )Allaah( in Whose Hand Muhammad's soul is, there is none from among the Jews and Christians who hears about me and then dies without believing in the Message )i.e. Islam( with which I have been sent, but he will be from the dwellers of the )Hell( fire."]Muslim[