Sex in Islam, - Part 2 - Sex in Islam: Its Role and Purpose

(Part 1 continued ....)Appendix B
Excerpt from: "Introduction to Islam" by Dr. M. Hamidullah
402.It is true that Islam permits polygamy, but on this point Muslim
law is more elastic and more in harmony with the requirements of
society than the other systems of law which do not permit polygamy in
any case. Supposing there is a case in which a woman has young
children, and falls chronically ill, becoming incapable of doing the
household work. The husband has no means of employing a maid-servant
for the purpose, not to speak of the natural requirements of conjugal
life. Supposing also that the sick woman gives her consent to her
husband to take a second wife, and that a woman is found who agrees to
marry the individual in question. Western law would rather permit
immorality than a legal marriage to bring happiness to this afflicted
home.
403.In fact, Muslim law is nearer to reason. For, it admits polygamy
when a woman herself consents to such a kind of life. The law does not
impose polygamy, but only permits it in certain cases. We have just
remarked that it depends solely on the agreement of the woman. This is
true of the first wife as well as the second one in prospect. It goes
without saying that the second woman may refuse to marry a man who has
already one wife; we have seen that no one can force a woman to enter
into a marriage tie without her own consent. If the woman agrees to be
a "co-wife" it is not the law which should be considered as cruel and
unjust with regard to women and as favouring only men. As to the first
wife, the act of polygamy depends on her. For, at the time of her
marriage, she may demand the acceptance and insertion, in the document
of the nuptial contract, or the clause that her husband would practise
monogamy. Such a condition is as valid as any other condition of a
legal contract. If a woman does not want to utilize this right of
hers, it is not legislation which would oblige her to do that. We have
just spoken of exceptional cases; and the law must have possible
remedies. Polygamy is not the rule, but an exception; and this
exception has multifarious advantages, social as well as other - the
details would be burdensome here - and Islamic law need not be shy of
this elasticity.
404.In the religious law of antiquity, there is no restriction to the
number of wives a man may have. All the Biblical prophets were
polygamous. Even in Christianity which has become synonymous with
monogamy, Jesus Christ himself never uttered a word against polygamy;
on the other hand, there are eminent Christian theologians, like
Luther, Malanchthon, Bucer, etc., who would not hesitate to deduce the
legality of polygamy from the parable of the virgins spoken of in the
Gospel of Matthew (25:1-12) for Jesus Christ envisages there the
possibility of the marriage of one man with as many as ten girls
simultaneously. If the Christians do not want to profit by the
permissions (which the founder of their religion seems to have given
them), the law is not changed for all that. This is true of the
Muslims also, whose law is moreover the only one in history which
expressly limits the maximum permissible number of polygamous wives.
(For Christian theory and practice, as well as for general discussion,
cf. alsoEncyclopedia Britannica, under the
articles,Marriage,andPolygamy; Westermarck,History of Human Marriage,
3 Vols.)
***
In a delightful report about how Imam Abu Hanifah received his name
(his original name was Numan bin Thaabit bin Zuta bin Mah), an account
of why the wife is forbidden to take more than one husband is
recounted.'Abu Hanifah' is an unusual name because it means 'the
father ofHanifah', and Hanifah was his daughter. It was not the custom
in those days to do this. Normally, the name would be 'the father
ofthe name of a son.'How this came about is quite edifying. One day
the great Imam Abu Hanifah was asked a question that, for the first
time in his illustrious career, he was unable to answer. The question
was,"Whywere women forbidden to marry more than one husband at a
time?"To make a long story short, Abu Hanifah's daughter said that she
knew the answer and would solve this question if her father would make
a promise to her that if she succeeded in solving this problem, he
would then assure her a place in history. Abu Hanifah agreed. So she
gathered a group of women together and gave each of them a cup. Then
she brought in a large bowl of milk and asked each of them to dip
their cups in the milk and to fill their cups. They did so. She then
asked them to pour back the milk into the bowl. They did this too. She
then asked them to re-fill their cups taking back only their own milk
that they had poured into the bowl. This, obviously, was impossible to
do. Hanifah had clearly demonstrated the kind of predicament that
would be created if a woman had several husbands. With more than one
husband, if she were to become pregnant, she would have exceptional
difficulties determining who the actual father was. Identifying
parentage and lineage would then be insurmountable for the
offspring.Imam Abu Hanifah was so pleased with her answer that he took
the name 'Abu Hanifah', 'the father of Hanifah', so his daughter did
indeed earn a place in history.
Appendix C
This is a grammaticallyeditedexcerpt from the chapter 'Adab an-Nikah'
from Imam Ghazzali's'Ihya Ulum-id-din' translated by Fazlul-Karim.
Also blended with this translation is an excerpt from 'The Proper
Conduct of Marriage in Islam' and this is a translation of the same
chapter by Muhtar Holland.
Benefits of marriage
There are five benefits: (1) to beget children, (2) to control sexual
urges, (3) to obtain peace of mind, (4) to increase divine service,
and (5) to gain rewards for duties to family. [Item (4) and (5) are
not dealt with in this Appendix.]
(1)To beget children.This is the main purpose for marriage. The aim is
to engender and preserve the human race. Four objectives are
accomplished through procreation: - (i) to increase mankind (ii) Islam
is propagated by increasing the number of followers of the Prophet,
p.b.u.h. (iii) parents will hope to leave behind children who will
pray for them (iv) and if a child dies before the parents, the prayers
of the child in Paradise will be very beneficial for the parents.
The first objective is very subtle and not easily comprehended by man.
It is a natural truth and the following is its proof. Take for example
a landowner who has generously given a servant a large amount of seed
and the tools for cultivation, and who has also given this servant
land for cultivation. Now if the servant refuses to till this land and
instead allows it to remain uncultivated, useless and dormant, and
furthermore, if he also carelessly destroys the seeds, it is clear
then that this servant will become an object of wrath by the
landowner. Similarly God has created man and woman with the
wherewithal to produce and raise children. The uterus is the fertile
field and both the male and female organs are the tools for
cultivation. He also created sexual passion in both the male and
female for the bearing of children through the use of these organs.
This is proof of God's design. The Prophet has clearly substantiated
this when he said "Marry and keep a family". He who does not marry,
destroys these seeds and allows these tools to lie useless and dormant
and he thereby goes against God's wishes. Infanticide has also been
prohibited by God for this reason.
From Muhtar Holland's Translation:[Pages 17 & 18 ]
If the sole motive for marriage were to ward off lust, the
plague-stricken Mu'adh would hardly have cried: "Find me a wife, lest
I meet Allah as a celibate!" You might perhaps object: "Surely Mu'adh
had no expectation of children at that moment, so how do you explain
his desire for marriage?" but to this I would reply as follows: The
child is produced by sexual intercourse. Intercourse is brought about
by the prompting of sexual appetite, which is an involuntary impulse.
The only voluntary contribution a man can make is to procure the
stimulus to sexual desire, and this can normally be anticipated. One
who has contracted a marriage has therefore performed his duty and
done what he had to do; the rest is beyond his own volition.
That is why marriage is recommended even for the impotent, for the
stirring of desire is hidden and not susceptible to observation.
Indeed, the recommendation to marry extends even to the totally
castrated person who can never expect children, in much the same way
as a bald man is recommended to pass the razor across his pate as
others do (on Pilgrimage), following the example of the righteous
ancestors. In the same vein, the practices known asramalandidtibaare
still recommended during the Pilgrimage. The original purpose of these
was to demonstrate stamina in the face of the unbelievers, the
imitation of this display of fortitude became the model conduct for
later generations.
Such are the considerations in forming their severe disapproval of
abstinence from marriage, even in cases were sexual appetite is
enfeebled. [end of Muhtar Holland's translation]
(2)The second benefit of marriage
The second benefit of marriage is to be safe from the machinations of
the devil and to satisfy lust and hence protect the private parts. The
Prophet said: "If a man marries, half of his religion is saved. Fear
God for the remaining half." The Prophet said: "Whoever among you is
able to marry, should marry, and whoever is not able to marry, is
recommended to fast, for fasting diminishes his sexual power." The
pleasure which lies within sexual intercourse is an example of
happiness in the afterlife. There is no benefit derived from a thing
in which there is no pleasure.
(3)The third benefit of marriage
Marriage brings peace of mind as love grows between the couple. Peace
of mind is necessary for divine service. God says:"It is He Who has
created you from a single person, and He has created from him his
wife, in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with
her."Hazrat Ali said: "Give peace to the mind because it becomes blind
when it becomes disturbed." There is a Hadith which says that there
are three special times for a wise man: - he speaks secretly with his
Lord at one time, he takes account of his actions at another time, and
he occupies himself with food and drink at another time. In another
narration, a wise man is not desirous except in three matters: to earn
his livelihood for the next world, to earn his livelihood for this
world, and to taste the pleasure of lawful things. The Prophet said:
"There is effort in every action and there is struggle in every
effort. He who adopts struggle goes towards mySunnahand guidance. The
Prophet said: Upon complaint to Gabriel about the lessening of my
sexual passion, he advised me to take Harisah. The Prophet said: Three
things are dear to me among earthly matters - perfume, woman and
prayer, the latter is coolness to my eyes. This comfort is necessary
for peace of mind.
From Muhtar Holland's translation:[Pages 20-22 . . . Conclusion]
He who obeys his master out of the desire to please Him is not the
same as one who obeys merely in quest of deliverance from the perils
of this agency.
Passion and procreation are both divinely ordained, and there is a
link between the two. It would be wrong to say that the purpose is
pleasure and the child is a necessary by-product (as, for instance,
relieving oneself is a necessary consequence of eating, but not an end
in itself.) No, the begetting of children is the aim of nature and the
divine Wisdom, while sexual appetite is merely an incentive thereto.
By my life, there is in sexual appetite yet another dispensation,
apart from the impetus to procreate, namely the joy experienced in
satisfying it. If only that delight were lasting, it would be
unparalleled by any other joy. It gives a foretaste of the delights we
are promised in Paradise, for the prospect of a bliss we had never
tasted would fail to impress. The prospect of sexual intercourse would
hardly stimulate the impotent, nor would the pleasures of kingship and
dominion serve to excite the interest of the very young. One advantage
of worldly pleasures is that the hope of enjoying them permanently in
Paradise can act as a spur to the worship of Allah.
Consider this Wisdom, this Mercy, this divine Providence! See how two
lives derive benefit through this one appetite: an outer life and an
inner life. The outer life is the life a man leads through the
continuance of his line, which constitutes a kind of survival, while
the inner life is the Otherworldly life. The bliss [of sexual
satisfaction], deficient because it is so ephemeral, thus stimulates a
desire for perfect bliss, for bliss everlasting, and serves as an
incentive to the worship which lead to its attainment. Desiring this
so ardently, the creature finds it easier to persevere in the course
that will bring him to such felicity in Paradise.
Relaxation and recreation for the soul[pg. 27 Muhtar Holland's Translation]
This [third benefit of marriage] is obtained by enjoying the company
and sight of one's wife, and by shared amusement, whereby the heart is
refreshed and strengthened in worship; for the lower self (nafs)is
prone to boredom and inclined to shun duty as something unnatural to
it. If constrained to persevere in something repugnant, it jibes and
backs away, whereas if revived occasionally by pleasures it acquires
new strength and vigor. In familiarity with women, one finds the
relaxation to banish cares and to refresh the heart.
The souls of the pious need legitimate recreation, which is why the
Exalted One said:
"That he may rest with her."[Qur'an 7:189]
[end of Muhtar Holland's translation]
Sexual etiquette in marriage
At the beginning of sexual intercourse, pronounce the name of God by
reciting "Bismillah" and recite theTakbirandTahlilafter Chapter Ikhlas
and say 'O God, if Thou takest out semen from my back, make it a good
issue.' The Prophet said: 'In the name of Allah. O Allah! Protect us
from Satan and also protect what you bestow upon us (i.e. the coming
offspring) from Satan, and if it is destined that they should have a
child then, Satan will never be able to harm that offspring." The
result is that the devil will not be able to injure a child that is
born from this intercourse.
Don't face the Ka'bah at the time of intercourse and cover your body
and the body of your wife. The Prophet used to cover his head, close
his mouth and say to his wife, 'Take peace.' There is a Hadith which
says: When anyone of you comes to his wife, let him not fall suddenly
upon her, but let him speak words of love to her and then kiss each
other. The Prophet said: Let none of you fall suddenly upon his wife
like a lower animal. Let him send the Envoy before cohabitation.
Someone asked 'What is the Envoy O Prophet?' He said, 'kisses and
words of love.' The Prophet said: In three matters, the weakness of a
male is disclosed. Firstly if a lover meets his beloved, and then they
separate without enquiring into their mutual condition and health;
secondly, rejecting the honour which someone wishes to pay him [i.e.,
by rejecting a gift which was offered]; thirdly to engage in sexual
intercourse with the wife or the female who is legally permitted,
without talking to her or kissing her or by being unable to restrain
the ejaculation of semen before that of his wife.
It is not commendable to cohabit with the wife on the first, middle
and last days of the lunar month. It is commendable to cohabit on a
Friday evening. After ejaculation, the husband should let his body lay
some time upon his wife until she climaxes, as she is slower to
climax. It is painful for her to be separated from her husband once
her sexual passion has been aroused.
A young husband should enjoy sexual intercourse with his wife once
every four days. To preserve the character of the wife, this may be
increased or decreased. Sexual intercourse with the wife at the time
of her menstruation is unlawful. However, it is lawful to enjoy her
without sexual intercourse e.g. enjoy the region beneath the
petticoat, or if there be such a need, even use the wife's hand for
his ejaculation and stop short of actual copulation [in Arabic
terminology, this is known asjima' bil yad, which means 'intercourse
by hand.'] God says: "Your wives are a tilth unto you; so go to your
tilth when and how you will." A man may keep company with his wife
during her menstrual period for eating, resting/sleeping [without
copulation] or other purposes. He is not obliged to avoid her.
Appendix D
An excerpt from"Introduction to Islam" by Dr. M. Hamidullah
108. Speaking of a strictly temporal act, such as a tax or a war, one
pays taxes to the government. It should not be astonishing that Islam
considers this act as one of the five basic elements of Faith, as
important as belief, worship, fasting and pilgrimage! The significance
is deep: One unites the spiritual and the temporal in a single whole,
and one pays the tax not as a corvee or even as a social duty, but
solely for the sake of God. When this duty of paying taxes becomes
fixed in the mind as something sacred, a duty unto God from Whom
nothing can be concealed and Who is, moreover, capable of
resuscitating us and demanding our account, one can easily understand
with what care and scruple a believer will pay his dues in the
performance of this obligation. Similarly, ware is forbidden in Islam
except in the way of God; and it is not difficult to understand that
such a soldier is more apt to be humane and will not seek any earthly
gain in the course of risking his life. By spiritualizing the temporal
duties, Islam has had no other motives but strengthening the spiritual
side of man, who in, this manner, far from seeking the material
advantage of the material thing, aspires thereby to obtain only the
pleasure of God. The Prophet has said: Ostentation is a sort of
polytheism (shirk); and the reason as explained by Al-Ghazzali, is the
following: if somebody worships or fasts for ostentation, it
isshirk(polytheism), a worship of one's self, not of God Almighty; on
the contrary, if one even cohabits with one's own wife - not for the
carnal pleasure, but for performing the duty imposed by God, then that
is an act of piety and devotion, meriting the pleasure of and reward
from God, as the Prophet has observed (cf. Ibn Hanbal, V, 154, 167,
187, etc.)
Endnotes
1.p.b.u.h.is the short form for "peace be upon him" which is an
expression used by Muslims to indicate reverence towards the holy
Prophet Muhammad.
2. The tomb of the Prophet Zakariyaalaihi-salam(may Allah be pleased
with him), is located in the great Omayyad Mosque in Aleppo which is a
city in northern Syria.
3. From "The Sayings of Muhammad" by Allama Sir Abdullah Al-Mamun
Al-Suhrawardy, pg 41. Charles E. Tuttle Company, Boston 1992.
4.Ibid, pg. 42
5.'The Proper Conduct of Marriage in Islam' (ChapterAdab-an-Nikah)from
Book 12of Ihya'ulum ad-dinby Imam al-Ghazzali. This is an English
translation from the original Arabic by Muhtar Holland and published
byAl-Baz Publishing Inc.

Sex in Islam, - Part 1 - Sex in Islam: Its Role and Purpose

Author's Note: We received an e-mail enquiry recently from a
non-Muslim lady requesting information concerning the issue of sexual
relations and menopause in Islam. We felt that her question warranted
a more thorough approach, so we decided to publish a detailed answer.
Here is her original letter to us and our initial response to her.Her
name and e-mail address have been withheld.
Her original letter to us:
I saw your posting on soc.religion.islam and hope you don't mind my writing you.
I've been trying to find information on how Islam, specifically the
Qur'an, deals with the subject of sex. I am sure this may seem like a
set-up of some sort but please let me assure you, it is not.
I'm on several menopause mailing lists, and the subject of sex and
religion has come up. Some religions feel that sex should be only for
procreation and not for enjoyment. With menopause putting an end to a
woman's
fertility, those religions would appear to be saying that once a woman
reaches menopause, she shouldn't be having sex.
I've been submerging myself in Islam newsgroups and books for the past
month, and for the life of me, I can not find the reference that
indicated that Islam dictates sexual relations only within marriage,
and only for procreation.
Am I wrong? I'd appreciate any references that you might be able to
provide. Please feel free to forward this message to anyone you feel
may be able to help me. . . end of letter
Our initial e-mail response to her:
Thank you for your enquiry . . .
Briefly, here are some quick answers to your two questions:
1. Procreation is NOT the only purpose of marriage in Islam, because a
secondary purpose is also companionship and enjoyment.
2. Menopause does NOT put an end to sexual relations in a Muslim marriage.
End of our initial e-mail response to her
A more detailed response now follows . . .
Sex in Islam - Its Role and Purpose
by Syed Mumtaz Ali & Rabia Mills
In the Islamic faith, the first and the foremost and the most reliable
and highest form of religious law for faithful Muslims is contained
within the holy Qur'an. The Prophetic Traditions (also known
asHadith,which arethe sayings and doings and tacit approval of things
said or done in the presence of the Prophet Muhammad, p.b.u.h.) (1)are
a second source of law. With that said, we hope the following reply
will answer your question.
According to Islam, procreation isnotthe sole and only purpose of
marriage. While procreation is a primary purpose, companionship and
enjoyment of the spouse along with avoidance of unlawful or sinful
relationships are also secondary purposes. These secondary purposes
play their own important roles in the Islamic teachings which govern
sexual relations. In other words, although procreation is definitely
anaim, it isnot an exclusive aim. Procreation is the major purpose,
but nonetheless enjoyment and other purposes also play significant
roles in married life as evidenced by the Islamic teachings which
relate to sexual relations.
Although the primarypurposeof sex is procreation, the Qur'an does not
forbid it when a woman reaches menopause. For example, in the Qur'an
is the story is about the Prophet Zakariya a.s. (2)(Christian spelling
-- Zakaria) [see Qur'an 19:1-15] who had fathered a child well into
his old age. One verse in particular reads:
"He [Zakariya] said: "O my Lord! How shall I have a son, when my wife
is barren and I have grown quite decrepit from old age?" [Qur'an 19:8]
"He said: "So (it will be): thy Lord saith, "That is easy for Me: I
did indeed create thee before, when thou hadst been nothing!" [Qur'an
19:9]
The Qur'anic reference above, then, shows the case of a couple
carrying on sexual relations well into old age. This in turn signifies
that these relations are allowed within marriage and into old age for
Muslim couples.
You will recall that this same story is found in the Old Testament
with reference to Zakaria a.s. who was made to be mute for three days
and nights as a sign from God.
In this connection, it is interesting to note that even in our
relatively recent times, history has recorded the fact that the great
SufiShaikh, Abdul Qadir Gilani r.a., was born on the 1st day of
Ramadan 470 A.H [some historians say 471 A.H] which corresponds to
March 18, 1078 A.D. His mother was 60 years of age at the time of his
birth.
In terms of the Traditions of the Prophet Muhammad, p.b.u.h. we can
see another meaningful example of this in the life of the Prophet. The
Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. married his first wife (Khadija aged 40)
when he was 25 years old, and he remained monogamous throughout his
entire 26 years of marriage to her. He then married A'isha at the age
of 54, but this was three years after the death of Khadija. It was
after this marriage that he then took other wives. By the way, many
non-Muslim writers have directed a great deal of unjust criticism
against him for this. In fact all of these women were quite old or
were widows who had been left destitute and without protection during
those troubled times. And so as the head of State at Medina, the only
proper way (according to Arab code) in which Muhammad p.b.u.h. could
extend both protection and maintenance to them was by marriage.
(3)[see also Appendix A]Those marriages were not only consummated, but
ancillary sexual relations have also been reported to us through the
Hadith literature. Hence another proof that sexual relations are
considered acceptable well into old age. "Polygamy was not always
considered to be so reprehensible as it is now. For example, St.
Augustine himself observed that there was no intrinsic immorality or
sinfulness in it, and declared that polygamy was not a crime where it
was the legal institution of a country." (4)This subject matter,
however, is another topic altogether. [see also Appendix B]
We have reproduced an excerpt on our website by Dr. M.A. Rauf from his
book'Marriage in Islam'.In this excerpt, Dr. Rauf discusses in great
detail the advantages and possible disadvantages of marriage. Among
the advantages that he discusses are procreation, fulfilment of the
natural urge, companionship, comfort and relief to the soul, and so
on. He also discusses the disadvantages and the types of burdens and
risks involved with marriage. All of the advantages or benefits are in
effect meant to be regarded as the secondary purpose of marriage which
supplement its major aim or purpose, namely procreation. We would
highly recommend that you read this excerpt for a more complete
understanding of our present response to you.
With regards to your question regarding menopause, we would also
strongly suggest that you read the book "The Proper Conduct of
Marriage in Islam" by Imam al-Ghazzali. (5)[see also Appendix C] We
would particularly refer you to where al-Ghazzali explains the
rationale and reasoningfor the recommendation of marriage - even for
the impotent. In his Conclusion, al-Ghazzali discusses the other
purposes of marriage and that is to fulfil the natural sexual desires
as well as to experience its joy and protection from the perils of
lust.
If one cohabits with one's own wife -- not for carnal pleasure alone,
but for performing the duty imposed by God -- it would be an act of
piety and devotion, meriting the pleasure and reward from God and this
is as the Prophet p.b.u.h. has observed. This is what has been
described asspiritualizingtemporal duties. [see also Appendix D] You
might also refer to where Imam al-Ghazzali discusses the subject of
relaxation and recreationfor the soul and so on.
Islam also prescribes certain rules of sexual etiquette. Imam
al-Ghazzali also sets out the PropheticTraditionswhich deal with the
pleasures of 'foreplay' and other similar enjoyments that are
permitted when the wife is menstruating. Not permitted, however, is to
go so far as to copulate by means of penetration into the vagina
during menstruation.
Islam has declared fornication (which by definition in Islam includes
adultery) unlawful, and it goes to great lengths to make it repugnant
by sanction and deterrent. It has even gone so far as to make any
alliances of this type of unlawful sexual relationship a heinous sin
and an odious offence. In other words, sexual relations of any kind,
that fall outside of lawful marriage, are absolutely forbidden. For
example:
"Nor come nigh to adultery for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil,
opening the road (to other evils)."[Qur'an 17:32]
"The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication - flog each
of them with a hundred stripes. Let not compassion move you in their
case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the
Last Day. And let a party of the Believers witness their
punishment."[Qur'an 24:2]
"Those who bring the charge of adultery against chaste women but
cannot produce four witnesses to prove the charge, give them 80 lashes
and their testimony should never be believed."[Qur'an 24:4]
Four Prophetic Traditions [Hadith]:
1. "Said the Prophet: 'A grievously heinous sin in the estimation of
God is to commit adultery with a woman living in one's neighbourhood'"
[Bukhari & Muslim]
2. " He or she who casts a lewd glance at another and allows himself
of herself to be attracted likewise, both meet the displeasure of
God." [Dailami]
3. "There is nothing which God abhors more than adultery."
4. "Observed the Prophet: 'Whenever a calamity befalls a centre of
population, take it for granted that immorality is rampant in that
place.' [Dailami]
More Qur'anic quotes and Hadith:
"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among
yourselves, that ye maydwell in tranquillitywith them, andHe has put
love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily in that are Signs for
those who reflect."[Qur'an 30:21]
"And those who pray, "Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who
will be thecomfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the
righteous." [Qur'an 25:74]
"Your wives are a tilth unto you; so go to your tilth when or how you
will."[Qur'an 2:223]
Hadith:"Narrated Abdullah Ibn Abbas: Ibn Umar misunderstood (the
Qur'anic verse, "So come to your tilth however you will") - may Allah
forgive him. The fact is that this clan of the Ansar, who were
idolaters, lived in the company of the Jews who were the people of the
Book. They (the Ansar) accepted their superiority over themselves in
respect of knowledge and the followed most of their actions. The
people of the Book (i.e., the Jews) used to have intercourse with
their women on one side alone (i.e., lying on their backs). This was
the most concealing position for (the vagina of) the women. This clan
of the Ansar adopted this practice from them. But this tribe of the
Quraysh used to uncover their women completely, and seek pleasure with
them from in front and behind and laying them on their backs.
When themuhajirun(the immigrants) came to Medina, a man married a
woman of the Ansar. He began to do the same kind of action with her,
but she disliked it, and said to him: We were approached on one side
(i.e. lying on the back); do it so, otherwise keep away from me. The
matter of theirs spread widely and it reached the Apostle of Allah
(peace be upon him).
So Allah, the Exalted, sent down the Qur'anic verse: "Your wives are a
tilth to you, so come to your tilth however you will," i.e., from in
front, from behind or lying on the back. But this verse meant the
place of the delivery of the child, i.e., the vagina." [from
theHadithliterature: Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 11, Number 2159]
"Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your
wives.They are your garments and ye are their garments."[Qur'an 2:187]
"It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and (then)
He has created from him his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], in order that he
mightenjoy the pleasureof living with her . . ."[Qur'an 7:189]
"And Allah has made for youmates (and companions)of your own nature,
and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren,
and provided for you sustenance of the best: will they then believe in
vain things, and be ungrateful for Allah's favours?"[Qur'an 16:72]
Hadith:On the authority of Abu Dharr : Some of the companions of the
messenger of Allah said :" O Messenger of Allah, the affluent have
made off with the rewards, they pray as we pray they fast as we fast,
and they give away in charity the superfluity of their wealth." He
said:" Has not Allah made things for you to give away in charity ?
Everytasbihahis a charity, everytakbirahis a charity, everytahmidahis
a charity, and everytahlilahis a charity, to enjoin a good action is a
charity, to forbid an evil action is a charity, and in the sexual act
of each of you there is a charity." They said: "O Messenger of Allah,
when one of us fulfils his sexual desire will he have some reward for
that?" He said: "Do you not think that were he to act upon it
unlawfully he would be sinning ? Likewise, if he has acted upon it
lawfully he will have a reward." [Muslim]
Appendix A
From "Life of Muhammad" by A.H. Hamid Siddiqui. Hilal Publications,
Calcutta 1981. Pages 243-247.
Marriages of the Holy Prophet
"He was hardly twenty-five years of age when he married Khadijah, who
was fifteen years older than himself. It was with her and her alone
that he passed all the years of his youth and manhood until she died
three years before Hijra, when he was already a man of fifty. After
the sad demise of Khadijah, he again went in for a widow, this time a
helpless one in great distress. She was one of the earliest converts
to Islam who had suffered many hardships for the cause of Truth.
The Holy Prophet married A'ishah, the daughter of his devoted friend
Abu Bakr. She was the only virgin wife of Muhammad (peace be upon
him).
Events took a very serious turn in Medina. The enmity of the Quraysh
resulted in armed battles in which so many of the noble Muslims fell
as martyrs. It was, therefore, the bounden duty of the Holy Prophet
and his companions to alleviate the sufferings of the widows and the
orphans who had been deprived of their husbands and fathers. Muhammad
(peace be upon him) undertook the major burden on himself and married
Hafsa, daughter of 'Umar, whose husband had died in the battle of
Badr. It was on this ground of clemency and compassion that the Holy
Prophet married Zaynab, the daughter of Khuzaimah, who had been
deprived of her husband in Uhud. Her parents were non-Muslims living
in Mecca and after the martyrdom of her husband, there was none to
take care of her. The next lady to enter the hospitable household of
the Holy Prophet was Umm Salamah whose husband had received fatal
injuries in the battle of Uhud and died leaving behind a pregnant
widow and a daughter. The Prophet was moved by her pitiable condition
and honoured her by taking her as his wife. The events relating to the
marriage of Zaynab bint Jahsh have been discussed in great detail in
the foregoing pages and it has been established that this marriage was
governed by some important social considerations, i.e. to obliterate
the customs of adoptive affinity and also to remove the false notion
then prevalent in society that the divorce of a noble lady by a freed
slave undermined her prestige.
Besides these widows of his faithful followers, whom it fell to his
lot to take under his protection and share their sufferings and
sorrows, the Holy Prophet also took three widows of his enemies in
marriage. The entry of these three ladies, Juwayriyah, Maymuna and
Safiyyah (may Allah be pleased with them) in the house of the Holy
Prophet, became the means whereby relations with various tribes were
cemented and this is how hostilities came to an end.
It is quite evident that the marriages of the Holy Prophet were
governed mainly by the feeling of compassion for the widows of his
faithful followers, who had no means to fall back upon after they were
bereft of the love and care of their husbands. This fact has been
acknowledged even by the critics of the Prophet. "It would be
remembered, however," says Bosworth Smith, "that most of Muhammad's
marriages may be explained, at least, as much by his pity for the
forlorn condition of the persons concerned, as by other motives."
Other marriages were contacted from the motives of policy, in order to
conciliate the heads of rival factions.
Then there was also one more consideration, in no way less important
than those discussed earlier, which led to these marriages. Muhammad
(peace be upon him) was the bearer of God's message not only for men,
but also for women. The womenfolk needed the prophetic guidance,
training and instruction in the same way as the males. The Holy
Prophet was fully cognizant of the need of Muslim society. He had,
therefore, in the best interest of the Ummah, endeavored to create a
new leadership amongst women, which, like its counterpart amongst men
could, by precept and example, help the formation of a new type of
womanhood representing the teachings of Islam. How could this
objective be achieved without first preparing the most perfect
specimen of Muslim womanhood. The Holy Prophet allowed some women,
belonging to different social groups, having different tastes and
tendencies and different intellectual standards to enter his household
as his wives and then by his close personal contact, nurture and train
their God-given faculties so perfectly in accordance with the
teachings of Islam that they could serve as pillars of light not only
for the womenfolk of the Islamic commonwealth, but for the whole of
womankind. One or two woman could not undertake this heavy
responsibility. A whole group was required to meet this need.
Moreover, there is a good deal of difference in the nature of training
essential for male and female. Man's life is dominated by social
activities, whereas the natural sphere of woman's work is primarily
her home. It is the wife alone who shares with the husband even the
most secret affairs of life. The Holy Prophet could not prepare the
specimen of Islamic womanhood unless he allowed some ladies to enter
the innermost chambers of his domestic life. In view of the teachings
of Islam, with regard to seclusion of sexes, only the noble wives of
the Holy Prophet could be accommodated on this plane and mankind owes
a deep debt of gratitude to these noble ladies that they communicated
to us most faithfully, the sacred account of the Prophet's private
life, which, like his public career, had so many facets and has been
made a model pattern for the believers, both men and women. The
injunction of the Qur'an: 'Verily in the Apostle of Allah, you have
the best example' (33:2) covers not only one aspect of his sacred
life, but his whole life . It was with a view to achieving this
objective, i.e., the authentic transmission of the Prophet's home life
to the people that a few noble ladies were made to enter his house as
his wives.
The Qur'anic verse:'It is not allowed to take wives after this, nor to
change them for others(33:52) implies that the Holy Prophet, like all
his other acts, contacted those marriages perfectly in accordance with
the will of the Lord. There was a divine purpose behind them and when
it was achieved, a restriction was place upon him.
That the Prophet married these ladies as a religious necessity can
well be judged from the fact that he spent his youth in the company of
one wife, Khadijah only. At the age of forty he was commissioned as a
Prophet, and during the first twelve years of his prophethood, when he
had only to instil in the minds of the people the fundamentals of
faith, i.e., Oneness of God, apostlehood of Muhammad, life after
death, he did not feel the necessity of marrying any other lady. After
the death of Khadijah, he married Sawda, a widow of advanced age. But
with the migration to Medina when Islamic society was established, the
Muslims were required to conform their social and personal behaviour
to the teachings of Islam, revelations for practical guidance in all
walks of life came from Allah. These had to be explained by the life
example of the holy Prophet. There was not one problem, but numerous
problems concerning all phases of life that needed solving at every
step. How the holy Prophet solved them must be made known to the
people as it is also an integral part of the faith for 'he does not
speak of his own desire'(Qur'an 53:3) It is God who speaks through him
in whatever he utters by way of spiritual guidance or practical
legislation. Now, whatever the Holy Prophet said or did in public
could easily be conveyed to the other people for their guidance. But
what about his private life which was equally important and divinely
inspired and had to serve as an example for the Believers? It is
through the noble wives of the holy Prophet that the Muslims learnt
the teachings of Islam in their personal concerns. It was not an
ordinary work, but an important task of vast magnitude which was
admirably accomplished by these pious ladies. (Allah be pleased with
them). How can these facts be justifiably ignored in the matter of
Muhammad's marriages?
It is strange indeed that the western critics of Islam and of the holy
Prophet in their sordid endeavors to malign Muhammad (peace be upon
him) close their eyes to all those illuminating facts which prove that
his was a life of perfect sublimity and single-minded devotion to
Allah, absolutely free from the taint of base desires. It is narrated
on the authority of Jabir b. 'Abd Allah that Abu Jahl and some of the
chiefs of the Quraysh approached the holy Prophet and said:
" If you are anxious for leadership, we are prepared to declare you
our leader, if you need riches, we would collect for you an enormous
amount of wealth that will suffice not only for you but even for your
descendants; if you are impelled by sexual urge, you may choose ten
beautiful damsels out of the whole tribe of Quraysh. The holy Prophet
kept silent and did not utter a word. When their talks concluded, the
holy Prophet recited the following verse of the Qur'an:
Ha Mim! A revelation from the Beneficent, the Merciful; A Book of
which the verses are made plain, an Arabic Qur'an for people who know
and the bearer of glad tidings and a warner: Yet most of them turn
aside so that they hearken not. [Qur'an 41:4-4]
The holy Prophet recited these verses of the Qur'an and concluded them
with the following verse:
Then if they still turn away, say thou: I warn you of calamity of the
'Ad and Thamud.[Qur'an 51: 13]
Even this single event is enough to prove Muhammad's immense love for
Allah, his devotion to his sacred mission and the insignificance in
his eyes the worldly pleasures. Allurement could not distract him,
even for a moment, form the noble cause for which he stood and
suffered all kinds of hardships and privations. No opportunity could
be more attractive than that this offered by the chiefs of Quraysh for
the satisfaction of sensuous pleasures, if he were so inclined."
(Tobe continued)

Virtues of Muharram and Fasting on 'Ashura', The

Important - Muharram 1434H (2012CE)
Muharram began on 15 November according to Saudi Arabia (please note
that local sightings may differ). Therefeore, Ashura will be 24
November 2012 in Saudi Arabia.
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, and peace and blessings be
upon our Prophet Muhammad, the Seal of the Prophets and Chief of the
Messengers, and upon all his family and companions.
Allah's sacred month ofMuharramis a blessed and important month. It is
the first month of theHijricalendar and is one of the four sacred
months concerning which Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Verily, the number of months with Allah is twelve months (in a year),
so it was ordained by Allah on the Day when He created the heavens and
the earth; of them, four are sacred. That is the right religion, so
wrong not yourselves therein … "[Al-Qur'an9:36]
Abu Bakarah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:"The year is twelve
months of which four are sacred, the three consecutive months of
Dhul-Qa'dah, Dhul-Hijjah and Muharram, and Rajab Mudar which comes
between Jumadah and Sha'ban."[Reported by al-Bukhari, 2958]
Muharramis so called because it is a sacred (muharram) month and to
confirm its sanctity. Allah's words (interpretation of the meaning):"
... so wrong not yourselves therein … "mean do not wrong yourselves in
these sacred months, because sin in these months is worse than in
other months. It was reported that Ibn 'Abbas said that this phrase
referred to all the months, then these four were singled out and made
sacred, so that sin in these months is more serious and good deeds
bring a greater reward.
Qatadah said concerning this phrase that wrongdoing during the sacred
months is more serious and more sinful that wrongdoing at any other
time. Wrongdoing at any time is a serious matter, but Allah gives more
weight to whichever of His commands He will. Allah has chosen certain
ones of His creation. He has chosen from among the angels Messengers
and from among mankind Messengers. He chose from among speech the
remembrance of Him (dhikr). He chose from among the earth the mosques,
from among the monthsRamadhanand the sacred months, from among the
days Friday and from among the nightsLaylatul-Qadr, so venerate that
which Allah has told us to venerate. People of understanding and
wisdom venerate the things that Allah has told us to venerate.
[Summarized from theTafsirof Ibn Kathir,may Allah have mercy on
him.TafsirofSurah at-Tawbah,ayah36]
The Virtue of Observing MoreNafilFasts During Muharram
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "The Messenger of
Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:'The best of
fasting after Ramadhan is fasting Allah's month of Muharram.'"
[Reported by Muslim, 1982]
The phrase"Allah's month", connecting the name of the month to the
name of Allah in a genitive grammatical structure, signifies the
importance of the month. Al-Qari said:"The apparent meaning is all of
the month ofMuharram."But it was proven that the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) never fasted any whole month apart
fromRamadhan, so thishadithis probably meant to encourage increasing
one's fasting duringMuharram, without meaning that one should fast for
the entire month.
It was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him) used to fast more inSha'ban. It is likely that the virtue
ofMuharramwas not revealed to him until the end of his life, before he
was able to fast during this month. [Sharh an-Nawawi 'ala Sahih
Muslim]
Allah Chooses Whatever Times and Places He Wills
Al-'Izz ibn 'Abdus-Salam (may Allah have mercy on him) said:"Times and
places may be given preferred status in two ways, either temporal or
religious/spiritual. With regard to the latter, this is because Allah
bestows His generosity on His slaves at those times or in those
places, by giving a greater reward for deeds done, such as giving a
greater reward for fasting inRamadhanthan for fasting at all other
times, and also on the day of'Ashura', the virtue of which is due to
Allah's generosity and kindness towards His slaves on that day …
"[Qawa'id al-Ahkam, 1/38]
'Ashura'in History
Ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "The Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) came to Madinah and saw the Jews
fasting on the day of'Ashura'. He said,'What is this?'They said, 'This
is a righteous day, it is the day when Allah saved the Children of
Israel from their enemies, so Musa fasted on this day.' He said,'We
have more right to Musa than you,'so he fasted on that day and
commanded [the Muslims] to fast on that day." [Reported by al-Bukhari,
1865] "This is a righteous day" – in a report narrated by Muslim, [the
Jews said:] "This is a great day, on which Allah saved Musa and his
people, and drowned Pharaoh and his people." "Musa fasted on this day"
– a report narrated by Muslim adds: " … in thanksgiving to Allah, so
we fast on this day." According to a report narrated by al-Bukhari: "
… so we fast on this day to venerate it." A version narrated
byImamAhmad adds: "This is the day on which the Ark settled on Mount
Judi, so Nuh fasted this day in thanksgiving," and "commanded [the
Muslims] to fast on that day" – according to another report also
narrated by al-Bukhari: "He said to his Companions:'You have more
right to Musa than they do, so fast on that day.'"
The practice of fasting on'Ashura'was known even in the days
ofJahiliyyah, before the Prophet's mission. It was reported that
'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said:"The people
ofJahiliyyahused to fast on that day … "
Al-Qurtubi said:"PerhapsQurayshused to fast on that day on the basis
of some past law, such as that of Ibrahim,upon whom be peace."
It was also reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) used to fast on'Ashura'in Makkah, before he migrated to
Madinah. When he migrated to Madinah, he found the Jews celebrating
this day, so he asked them why, and they replied as described in
thehadithquoted above. He commanded the Muslims to be different from
the Jews, who took it as a festival, as was reported in thehadithof
Abu Musa (may Allah be pleased with him), who said:"The Jews used to
take the day of'Ashura'as a festival[according to a report narrated by
Muslim: the day of'Ashura'was venerated by the Jews, who took it as a
festival. According to another report also narrated by Muslim: the
people of Khaybar (the Jews) used to take it as a festival and their
women would wear their jewellery and symbols on that day].The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:'So you [Muslims]
should fast on that day.'"[Reported by al-Bukhari] Apparently the
motive for commanding the Muslims to fast on this day was the desire
to be different from the Jews, so that the Muslims would fast when the
Jews did not, because people do not fast on a day of celebration.
[Summarized from the words ofal-HafidhIbn Hajar –may Allah have mercy
on him– inFath al-Bari Sharh 'ala Sahih al-Bukhari]
Fasting on'Ashura'was a gradual step in the process of introducing
fasting as a prescribed obligation in Islam. Fasting appeared in three
forms. When the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) came to Madinah, he told the Muslims to fast on three days
of every month and on the day of'Ashura', then Allah made fasting
obligatory when He said (interpretation of the meaning):" … observing
the fasting is prescribed for you … "[Al-Qur'an2:183] [Ahkam
al-Qur'anby al-Jassas, part 1]
The obligation was transferred from the fast of'Ashura'to the fast
ofRamadhan, and this one of the proofs in the field ofUsul al-Fiqhthat
it is possible to abrogate a lighter duty in favour of a heavier duty.
Before the obligation of fasting'Ashura'was abrogated, fasting on this
day was obligatory, as can be seen from the clear command to observe
this fast. Then it was further confirmed later on, then reaffirmed by
making it a general command addressed to everybody, and once again by
instructing mothers not to breastfeed their infants during this fast.
It was reported from Ibn Mas'ud that when fastingRamadhanwas made
obligatory, the obligation to fast'Ashura'was lifted, i.e., it was no
longer obligatory to fast on this day, but it is still desirable
(mustahabb).
The Virtues of Fasting'Ashura'
Ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) said:"I never saw the
Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) so keen
to fast any day and give it priority over any other than this day, the
day of'Ashura', and this month, meaningRamadhan."[Reported by
al-Bukhari, 1867]
The meaning of his being keen was that he intended to fast on that day
in the hope of earning the reward for doing so. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) said:"For fasting the day of 'Ashura',
I hope that Allah will accept it as expiation for the year that went
before."[Reported by Muslim, 1976] This is from the bounty of Allah
towards us: for fasting one day He gives us expiation for the sins of
a whole year.And Allah is the Owner of Great Bounty.
Which Day is'Ashura'?
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:"'Ashura'andTasu'a'are
two elongated names [the vowels are elongated] as is stated in books
on the Arabic language. Our companions said:'Ashura'is the tenth day
ofMuharramandTasu'a'is the ninth day. This is our opinion, and that of
the majority of scholars. This is the apparent meaning of
theahadithand is what we understand from the general wording. It is
also what is usually understood by scholars of the
language."[Al-Majmu'])
'Ashura'is an Islamic name that was not known at the time
ofJahiliyyah. [Kashshaf al-Qina', part 2,Sawm Muharram]
Ibn Qudamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:"'Ashura'is the tenth
day ofMuharram. This is the opinion of Sa'id ibn al-Musayyib and
al-Hasan. It was what was reported by Ibn 'Abbas, who said: 'The
Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
commanded us to fast'Ashura', the tenth day ofMuharram.'[Reported by
at-Tirmidhi, who said, asahih hasan hadith]It was reported that Ibn
'Abbas said: 'The ninth,' and reported that the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) used to fast the ninth. [Reported by
Muslim] 'Ata' reported that he said, 'Fast the ninth and the tenth,
and do not be like the Jews.' If this is understood, we can say on
this basis that it ismustahabb(encouraged) to fast on the ninth and
the tenth, for that reason. This is what Ahmad said, and it is the
opinion of Ishaq."
It isMustahabb(Encouraged) to FastTasu'a'with'Ashura'
'Abdullah ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) said:"When
the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
fasted on'Ashura'and commanded the Muslims to fast as well, they said,
'O Messenger of Allah, it is a day that is venerated by the Jews and
Christians.' The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) said,'If I live to see the next year, in sha Allah, we will
fast on the ninth day too.'But it so happened that the Messenger of
Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) passed away before
the next year came."[Reported by Muslim, 1916]
Ash-Shafi'i and his companions, Ahmad, Ishaq and others said:"It
ismustahabbto fast on both the ninth and tenth days, because the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) fasted on the
tenth, and intended to fast on the ninth."
On this basis it may be said that there are varying degrees of
fasting'Ashura', the least of which is to fast only on the tenth and
the best of which is to fast the ninth as well. The more one fasts
inMuharram, the better it is.
The Reason Why it isMustahabbto Fast onTasu'a'
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:"The scholars – our
companions and others – mentioned several reasons why it ismustahabbto
fast onTasu'a':
"The intention behind it is to be different from the Jews, who only
venerate the tenth day. This opinion was reported from Ibn 'Abbas …
"The intention is to add another day's fast to'Ashura'. This is akin
to the prohibition on fasting a Friday by itself, as was mentioned by
al-Khattabi and others.
"To be on the safe side and make sure that one fasts on the tenth, in
case there is some error in sighting the crescent moon at the
beginning ofMuharramand the ninth is in fact the tenth."
The strongest of these reasons is being different from the People of
the Book.Shaykh ul-Islamibn Taymiyyah (may Allah have mercy on him)
said:"The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade
imitating the People of the Book in manyahadith, for example, his
words concerning'Ashura':'If I live until the next year, I will
certainly fast on the ninth day.'"[Al-Fatawa al-Kubra, part 6,Sadd
adh-Dhara'i' al-Mufdiyyah ila'l-Maharim]
Ibn Hajar (may Allah be pleased with him) said in his commentary on
thehadith"If I live until the next year, I will certainly fast on the
ninth day"and"What he meant by fasting on the ninth day was probably
not that he would limit himself to that day, but would add it to the
tenth, either to be on the safe side or to be different from the Jews
and Christians, which is more likely. This is also what we can
understand from some of the reports narrated by Muslim."[Fath, 4/245]
Ruling on Fasting Only on the Day of'Ashura'
Shaykh ul-Islamsaid:"Fasting on the day of'Ashura'is an expiation for
a year, and it is notmakruhto fast only that day … "[Al-Fatawa
al-Kubra, part 5] InTuhfat al-Muhtajby Ibn Hajar al-Haytami, it
says:"There is nothing wrong with fasting only on'Ashura'."[Part 3,Bab
Sawm at-Tatawwu']
Fasting on'Ashura'even if it is a Saturday or a Friday
At-Tahawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:"The Messenger of Allah
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) allowed us to fast
on'Ashura'and urged us to do so. He did not say that if it falls on a
Saturday we should not fast. This is evidence that all days of the
week are included in this. In our view –and Allah knows best– it could
be the case that even if this is true (that it is not allowed to fast
on Saturdays), it is so that we do not venerate this day and refrain
from food, drink and intercourse, as the Jews do. As for the one who
fasts on a Saturday without intending to venerate it, and does not do
so because the Jews regard it as blessed, then this is notmakruh…
"[Mushkil al-Athar, part 2,Bab Sawm Yawm as-Sabt]
The author ofAl-Minhajsaid:"It is disliked (makruh) to fast on a
Friday alone … But it is no longermakruhif you add another day to it,
as mentioned in thesahihreport to that effect. A person may fast on a
Friday if it coincides with his habitual fast, or he is fasting in
fulfilment of a vow, or he is making up an obligatory fast that he has
missed, as was stated in asahihreport."
Ash-Sharih said inTuhfat al-Muhtaj:"If it coincides with his habitual
fast – i.e., such as if he fasts alternate days, and a day that he
fasts happens to be a Friday, if he is fasting in fulfilment of a vow,
etc."– this also applies to fasting on days prescribed inShari'ah,
such as'Ashura'or 'Arafah. [Tuhfat al-Muhtaj, part 3,Bab Sawm
al-Tatawwu']
Al-Bahuti (may Allah have mercy on him) said:"It ismakruhto
deliberately single out a Saturday for fasting, because of thehadithof
'Abdullah ibn Bishr, who reported from his sister: 'Do not fast on
Saturdays except in the case of obligatory fasts' [reported by Ahmad
with ajayyid isnadand by al-Hakim, who said: according to the
conditions of al-Bukhari], and because it is a day that is venerated
by the Jews, so singling it out for fasting means being like them …
except when a Friday or Saturday coincides with a day when Muslims
habitually fast, such as when it coincides with the day of 'Arafah or
the day of'Ashura', and a person has the habit of fasting on these
days, in which case it is notmakruh, because a person's habit carries
some weight."[Kashshaf al-Qina', part 2,Bab Sawm al-Tatawwu']
What Should be Done if there is Confusion about the Beginning of the Month?
Ahmad said:"If there is confusion about the beginning of the month,
one should fast for three days, to be sure of fasting on the ninth and
tenth days."[Al-Mughniby Ibn Qudamah, part 3 –as-Siyam–Siyam 'Ashur']
If a person does not know whenMuharrambegan, and he wants to be sure
of fasting on the tenth, he should assume thatDhul-Hijjahwas thirty
days – as is the usual rule – and should fast on the ninth and tenth.
Whoever wants to be sure of fasting the ninth as well should fast the
eight, ninth and tenth (then ifDhul-Hijjahwas twenty-nine days, he can
be sure of having fastedTasu'a'and'Ashura').
But given that fasting on'Ashura'ismustahabbrather thanwajib, people
are not commanded to look for the crescent of the new moon
ofMuharramas they are to do in the case ofRamadhanandShawwal.
Fasting'Ashura'– For What Does it Offer Expiation?
Imaman-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:"It expiates for all
minor sins, i.e., it brings forgiveness of all sins except major
sins."Then he said (may Allah have mercy on him):"Fasting the day of
'Arafah expiates for two years, and the day of'Ashura'expiates for one
year. If when a person says 'Amin' it coincides with the 'Amin' of the
angels, he will be forgiven all his previous sins … Each one of the
things that we have mentioned will bring expiation. If there are minor
sins for which expiation is needed, expiation for them will be
accepted; if there are no minor sins or major sins, good deeds will be
added to his account and he will be raised in status … If he had
committed major sins but no minor sins, we hope that his major sins
will be reduced."[Al-Majmu' Sharh al-Muhadhdhab, part 6,Sawm Yawm
'Arafah]
Shaykh ul-IslamIbn Taymiyyah (ay Allah have mercy on himmay Allah have
mercy on him) said:"Taharah,salah, and fasting inRamadhan, on the day
of 'Arafah and on'Ashura'expiate for minor sins only."[Al-Fatawa
al-Kubra, part 5]
Not Relying Too Much on the Reward for Fasting
Some people who are deceived rely too much on things like fasting
on'Ashura'or the day of 'Arafah, to the extent that some of them say,
"Fasting on'Ashura'will expiate for the sins of the whole year, and
fasting on the day of 'Arafah will bring extra rewards." Ibn al-Qayyim
said:"This misguided person does not know that fasting inRamadhanand
praying five times a day are much more important than fasting on the
day of 'Arafah and'Ashura', and that they expiate for the sins between
oneRamadhanand the next, or between one Friday and the next, so long
as one avoids major sins. But they cannot expiate for minor sins
unless one also avoids major sins; when the two things are put
together, they have the strength to expiate for minor sins. Among
those deceived people may be one who thinks that his good deeds are
more than his sins, because he does not pay attention to his bad deeds
or check on his sins, but if he does a good deed he remembers it and
relies on it. This is like the one who seeks Allah's forgiveness with
his tongue (i.e., by words only), and glorifies Allah by
saying"Subhanallah"one hundred times a day, then he backbites about
the Muslims and slanders their honour, and speaks all day long about
things that are not pleasing to Allah. This person is always thinking
about the virtues of histasbihat(saying "Subhanallah")
andtahlilat(saying "La ilaha illallah") but he pays no attention to
what has been reported concerning those who backbite, tell lies and
slander others, or commit other sins of the tongue. They are
completely deceived."[Al-Mawsu'ah al-Fiqhiyyah, part 31,Ghurur]
Fasting'Ashura'When One Still has Days to Make Up From Ramadhan
Thefuqaha'differed concerning the ruling on observing voluntary fasts
before a person has made up days that he or she did not fast
inRamadhan. The Hanafis said that it is permissible to observe
voluntary fasts before making up days fromRamadhan, and it is
notmakruhto do so, because the missed days do not have to be made up
straight away. The Malikis and Shafi'is said that it is permissible
but ismakruh, because it means that one is delaying something
obligatory. Ad-Dusuqi said:"It ismakruhto observe a voluntary fast
when one still has to make up an obligatory fast, such as a fast in
fulfilment of a vow, or a missed obligatory fast, or a fast done as an
act of expiation (kafarah), whether the voluntary fast which is being
given priority over an obligatory fast is something confirmed
inShari'ahor not, such as'Ashura'and the ninth ofDhul-Hijjah,
according to the most correct opinion."The Hanbalis said that it
isharamto observe a voluntary fast before making up any fasts missed
inRamadhan, and that a voluntary fast in such cases does not count,
even if there is plenty of time to make up the obligatory fast. So a
person must give priority to the obligatory fasts until he has made
them up. [Al-Mawsu'ah al-Fiqhiyyah, part 28,Sawm at-Tatawwu']
Muslims must hasten to make up any missed fasts afterRamadhan, so that
they will be able to fast 'Arafah and'Ashura'without any problem. If a
person fasts 'Arafah and'Ashura'with the intention from the night
before of making up for a missed fast, this will be good enough to
make up what he has missed, for the bounty of Allah is great.
Innovations Common on'Ashura'
Shaykh ul-IslamIbn Taymiyyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked
about the things that people deople do on'Ashura', such as
wearingkohl, taking a bath (ghusl), wearinghenna, shaking hands with
one another, cooking grains (hubub), showing happiness and so on. Was
any of this reported from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) in asahih hadith, or not? If nothing to that effect was
reported in asahih hadith, is doing these thingsbid'ah, or not? Is
there any basis for what the other group do, such as grieving and
mourning, going without anything to drink, eulogizing and wailing,
reciting in a crazy manner, and rending their garments?rments?
His reply was:"Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds. Nothing to
that effect has been reported in anysahih hadithfrom the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) or from his Companions.
None of the Imams of the Muslims encouraged or recommended such
things, neither the four Imams, nor any others. No reliable scholars
have narrated anything like this, neither from the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him), nor from theSahabah, nor from
theTabi'in; neither in anysahihreport or in ada'if(weak) report;
neither in the books ofSahih, nor inas-Sunan, nor in the Musnads.
Nohadithof this nature was known during the best centuries, but some
of the later narrators reportedahadithlike the one which says,
'Whoever putskohlin his eyes on the day of'Ashura'will not suffer from
eye disease in that year, and whoever takes a bath (doesghusl) on the
day of'Ashura'will not get sick in that year,' and so on. They also
reported a fabricatedhadiththat is falsely attributed to the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), which says, 'Whoever is
generous to his family on the day of'Ashura', Allah will be generous
to him for the rest of the year.' Reporting all of this from the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is tantamount to
lying."
Then he [Ibn Taymiyyah (may Allah have mercy on him)] discussed in
brief the tribulations that had occurred in the early days of
thisUmmahand the killing of al-Husayn (may Allah be pleased with him),
and what the various sects had done because of this. Then he said:
"An ignorant, wrongful group – who were either heretics and
hypocrites, or misguided and misled – made a show of allegiance to him
and the members of his household, so they took the day of'Ashura'as a
day of mourning and wailing, in which they openly displayed the
rituals ofjahiliyyahsuch as slapping their cheeks and rending their
garments, grieving in the manner of thejahiliyyah...…
"The Shaytan made this attractive to those who are misled, so they
took the day of'Ashura'as an occasion of mourning, when they grieve
and wail, recite poems of grief and tell stories filled with lies.
Whatever truth there may be in these stories serves no purpose other
than the renewal of their grief and sectarian feeling, and the
stirring up of hatred and hostility among the Muslims, which they do
by cursing those who came before them …
"The evil and harm that they do to the Muslims cannot be enumerated by
any man, no matter how eloquent he is. Some others – either Nasibis
who oppose and have enmity towards al-Husayn and his family or
ignorant people who try to fight evil with evil, corruption with
corruption, lies with lies andbid'ahwithbid'ah– opposed them by
fabricating reports in favour of making the day of'Ashura'a day of
celebration, by wearingkohlandhenna, spending money on one's children,
cooking special dishes and other things that are done on'Eidand
special occasions. These people took the day of'Ashura'as a festival
like'Eid, whereas the others took it as a day of mourning. Both are
wrong, and both go against theSunnah, even though the other group
(those who take it as a day of mourning) are worse in intention and
more ignorant and more plainly wrong …
"Neither the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) nor
his successors (thekhulafa' ar-rashidun) did any of these things on
the day of'Ashura',they neither made it a day of mourning nor a day of
celebration …
"As for the other things, such as cooking special dishes with or
without grains, or wearing new clothes, or spending money on one's
family, or buying the year's supplies on that day, or doing special
acts of worship such as special prayers or deliberately slaughtering
an animal on that day, or saving some of the meat of the sacrifice to
cook with grains, or wearingkohlandhenna, or taking a bath (ghusl), or
shaking hands with one another, or visiting one another, or visiting
the mosques and shrines and so on … all of this is
reprehensiblebid'ahand is wrong. None of it has anything to do with
theSunnahof the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be
upon him) or the way of theKhulafa' ar-Rashidun. It was not approved
of by any of the Imams of the Muslims, not Malik, not ath-Thawri, not
al-Layth ibn Sa'ad, not Abu Hanifah, not al-Awza'i, not al-Shafi'i,
not Ahmad ibn Hanbal, not Ishaq ibn Rahwayh, not any of the Imams and
scholars of the Muslims."[Al-Fatawa al-Kubraby Ibn Taymiyyah]
Ibn al-Hajj (may Allah have mercy on him) mentioned that one of
thebid'ahon'Ashura'was deliberately payingzakaton this day, late or
early, or slaughtering a chicken just for this occasion, or – in the
case of women – usinghenna. [Al-Madkhal, part 1,Yawm 'Ashura']
We ask Allah to make us followers of the Sunnah of His Noble Prophet,
to make us live in Islam and die in a state of faith. May He help us
to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. We ask Him to help us
to remember Him and be thankful to Him, to worship Him properly and to
accept our good deeds. May He make us of those who are pious and fear
Him. May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad and all his family and
companions.

Muharram/Islamic New Year

The Islamic year lasts for about 354 days and consists of 12 months.
Muharram is the first month and some Muslims mark the start of the
Islamic year on the first day of Muharram. Many Muslims fast during
daylight hours on the ninth and 10th or 10th and 11th days of the
month to mark the Day of Ashura (Yaumu-l 'Ashurah). This is the
anniversary of the death of Husayn ibn Ali, a grandson of the Prophet
Muhammed.
There may be some congestion around mosques on some days, particularly
in the evenings, during Muharram.
©i Stockphoto.com/PhilSig in
What do people do?
On the first day of Muharram, some groups of Muslims mark the first
day of the Islamic year and others begin observing the Commemoration
of Muharram. This marks the 10 days between the anniversaries of the
battle of Karbala (currently in Iraq) and the death of Husayn ibn Ali
in the year 680 CE.
The events of Muharram are commemorated in many ways in different
Islamic denominations and cultures. However, it is common for Muslims
to fast during the hours of daylight on the 10th day of the month,
known as the day of Ashura, and also on the ninth or 11th day. Mosques
may provide free meals (nazar) on these dates. In some countries,
other events also take place and Muslim communities in Australia,
Canada, New Zealand, the United Kingdom and the United States may
incorporate some aspect of these traditions when observing the
Commemoration of Muharram.
In Iraq, Shi'a Muslims, may make a pilgrimage to the Imam Husayn
Shrine, on the site of the grave of Husayn ibn Ali. In
Iran,taziya(ta'zieh) or Condolence Theater are performed. During
Muharram, these take the form of re-enactments of the battle of
Karbala. In south Asia, similar events are known as such
asmarsiya,nohaandsoaz,tabuikortabut. In Jamaica and Trinidad and
Tobago, they are known as Hosay or Hussay and are attended by people
from a variety of religions and cultures.
Shi'a Muslims, particularly those in Afghanistan, Bahrain, India,
Iraq, Lebanon and Pakistan, may take part in remembrance parades
ormatam(matham). Duringmatam, males gather in large groups on the
streets to take part in ritual chest beating. In some areas, some
participants also beat themselves withzanjir(metal chains fixed into
handles), but this practice is controversial and has been banned by
some civic and Islamic authorities.
Public life
The Islamic New Year is a public holiday in places such as (but not
exclusive to) India, Indonesia, Jordan, Malaysia, and the United Arab
Emirates. It is not a nationwide public holiday in countries such as
Australia, Canada, the United Kingdomor the United States. However,
Islamic businesses and organizations may have altered opening hours
and there may be some congestion around mosques, particularly in the
evening and at night.
Background
Muharram is the first month in the Islamic year and a time of mourning
and peace. It is forbidden for Muslims to fight during this month. A
number of important events in Islamic history have occurred during
this month. These include: the Battle of Karbala (currently in Iraq)
in the year 680 CE, which enabled Husayn ibn Ali, a grandson of the
Prophet Muhammed, and his army to enter the city on the first day of
the month; the restriction of Husayn ibn Ali's access to water on the
seventh day; and the death of Husayn ibn Ali and his clan (Ahl
al-Bayt) on the 10th day of the month. The Shi'a and Sunni
denominations of Islam attach different weights to these events and
mark them in different ways.

Muharram began in the evening ofSunday,November 3, 2013, and ends in the evening ofTuesday,December 3, 2013. Dates may vary.

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visit-http://aydnajimudeen.blogspot.com

Fathwa, - Questions on Covering: Grandfather, Step father, Non-Muslim Women

Question:
If I am a female, then do I have to wear hijab in front of the brother
of my maternal grandmother? Also, what about the brother of my
maternal grandfather?
If I am a male, then would the daughter of my paternal grandfather (by
his second wife, i.e. not the mother of my father but his step-mother)
be my mahram?
"The awra (nakedness) of a Muslim woman in front of non-Muslim women
is the same as that in front of strange (non-mahram) men. That means
that she cannot uncover her hair in front of them." Do the Ulama
mention any reason? What if the non-Muslim woman is old?
Answer:
Wa �alaykum al-salam
No, a female would not have to cover in front of the brother of her
maternal grandmother nor in front of the brother of her maternal
grandfather as both of these are the uncle of her mother. Qudri Basha
explained in his codification of Hanafi family law that a woman�s
mahrams (unmarriageable kin) include her own uncles as well as the
uncles of her parents or their parents and on up. [Qudri
Basha,al-Ahkamal-Shar�iyya fi al-Ahwal al-Shakhsiyya, article 22]
Yes, the daughter of one�s paternal grandfather from his second wife
would be one�s mahram. Ibn Nujaym mentions inal-Bahr
al-Ra�iqcommenting on the words of imam-al-Nasafi inKanz
al-Daqa�iqconcerning the unlawfulness of marrying one�s maternal and
paternal aunts that one�s aunts here also includes the daughters of
one�s grandparents and on up.
Concerning a woman�s having to cover fully in front of non Muslim
women, the opinion of the Hanafis, Malikis and the strongest opinion
of the Shafi�is is that it is incumbent on her to do so. The dalil
mentioned to support this opinion is verse 31 of sura al-Nur where
Allah most high states the various groups of people in front of whom
women do not have to cover themselves fully. Among the groups
mentioned is �their women� (nisa�ihinn). The fact that Allah
restricted it to a particular group of women by saying �their women�
instead of leaving it absolute as just �women� implies clearly that
not all women can be included and if one were to include non Muslim
women then there would be no benefit left to be drawn from the
restriction mentioned in the noble verse. This is the interpretation
for this verse that is transmitted from �Abdullah ibn �Abbas.
Furthermore, Al-Qadi Abu Bakr ibn al-�Arabi mentions in hisAhkam
al-Qur�anthat �Umar bin Khattab (May Allah be pleased with him) wrote
to Abu �Ubaida ibn al-Jarrah saying, �It has reached me that Muslim
women are entering the public bathhouses with women from the people of
the book. Forbid this.� Abu �Ubaida responded by publicly
announcing, �Any woman who enters the public bathhouse with no excuse
of illness or disease so that she may make herself white for the sake
of her husband then may Allah make her face black on the day when
faces are turned white.�
The opinion of the Hanbalis is that a non Muslim woman is just like a
Muslim woman whilst the other opinion of the Shafi�i school which is
deemed strong though not most correct is that a non Muslim woman may
see of a Muslim woman that which normally shows when working. So
there is a dispensation that can be taken in situations when fully
covering in front of other women is genuinely difficult.
And Allah knows best.
Sohail Hanif
From Ahkam al-Qur�an of Qadi Abu Bakr ibn al-�Arabi:الْمُسْتَثْنَى
التَّاسِعُ : قَوْلُهُ : { أَوْ نِسَائِهِنَّ } : وَفِيهِ قَوْلَانِ :
أَحَدُهُمَا : أَنَّهُ جَمِيعُ النِّسَاءِ . وَالثَّانِي : أَنَّهُ
نِسَاءُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ . فَأَمَّاأَهْلُ الذِّمَّةِفَلَا يَنْبَغِي أَنْ
تَكُونَ الْمُسْلِمَةُ مُبْدِيَةً لَهُنَّ زِينَتَهَا وَقَدْ كَتَبَ
عُمَرُ بْنُ الْخَطَّابِ إلَى أَبِي عُبَيْدَةَ بْنِ الْجَرَّاحِ :
أَمَّا بَعْدُ ، فَقَدْ بَلَغَنِي أَنَّ نِسَاءَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ
يَدْخُلْنَ الْحَمَّامَاتِ مَعَهُنَّ نِسَاءُ أَهْلِ الْكِتَابِ ،
فَامْنَعْ ذَلِكَ ، وَحُلْ دُونَهُ . ثُمَّ إنَّ أَبَا عُبَيْدَةَ قَامَ
فِي ذَلِكَ الْمَقَامَ مُمْتَثِلًا ، فَقَالَ : " أَيُّمَا امْرَأَةٍ
دَخَلَتْ الْحَمَّامَ مِنْ غَيْرِ عِلَّةٍ وَلَا سَقَمٍ تُرِيدُ
الْبَيَاضَ لِزَوْجِهَا فَسَوَّدَ اللَّهُ وَجْهَهَا يَوْمَ تَبْيَضُّ
الْوُجُوهُ " . وَالصَّحِيحُ عِنْدِي أَنَّ ذَلِكَ جَائِزٌ لِجَمِيعِ
النِّسَاءِ ، وَإِنَّمَا جَاءَ بِالضَّمِيرِ لِلِاتِّبَاعِ ، فَإِنَّهَا
آيَةُ الضَّمَائِرِ ؛ إذْ فِيهَا خَمْسٌ وَعِشْرُونَ ضَمِيرًا لَمْ
يَرَوْا فِي الْقُرْآنِ لَهَا نَظِيرًا ، فَجَاءَ هَذَا لِلِاتِّبَاعِ .
From the Mawsu�a al-Fiqhiyya:عورةالمرأة المسلمة بالنسبة للأجنبية
الكافرة : 4 - ذهب جمهور الفقهاء : ( الحنفية والمالكية وهو الأصح عند
الشافعية ) إلى أن المرأة الأجنبية الكافرة كالرجل الأجنبي بالنسبة
للمسلمة ، فلا يجوز أن تنظر إلى بدنها ، وليس للمسلمة أن تتجرد بين يديها
، لقوله تعالى : { ولا يبدين زينتهن إلا لبعولتهن أو آبائهن أو آباء
بعولتهن أو أبنائهن أو أبناء بعولتهن أو إخوانهن أو بني إخوانهن أو بني
أخواتهن أو نسائهن } أي النساء المسلمات فلو جاز نظر المرأة الكافرة لما
بقي للتخصيص فائدة ، وقد صح عن عمر رضي الله عنه الأمر بمنع الكتابيات من
دخول الحمام مع المسلمات . ومقابل الأصح عند الشافعية أنه يجوز أن ترى
الكافرة من المسلمة ما يبدو منها عند المهنة ، وفي رأي آخر عندهم أنه
يجوز أن ترى منها ما تراه المسلمة منها وذلك لاتحاد الجنس كالرجال .
والمذهب عند الحنابلة أنه لا فرق بين المسلمة والذمية ولا بين المسلم
والذمي في النظر ، وقال الإمام أحمد في رواية عنه : لا تنظر الكافرة إلى
الفرج من المسلمة ولا تكون قابلة لها . وفي رواية أخرى عنه أن المسلمة لا
تكشف قناعها عند الذمية ولا تدخل معها الحمام .
From the Mawsu�a al-Fiqhiyya:وقال الحنابلة : العجوز التي لا يشتهى
مثلها لا بأس بالنظر إلى ما يظهر منها غالبا ، لقوله تعالى : { والقواعد
من النساء اللاتي لا يرجون نكاحا } وفي معنى العجوز الشوهاء التي لا
تشتهى ، ومن ذهبت شهوته من الرجال لكبر أو عنة أو مرض لا يرجى برؤه
والخصي والشيخ والمخنث الذي لا شهوة له فحكمه حكم ذوي المحارم في النظر ،
لقوله تعالى : { أو التابعين غير أولي الإربة } . وعند الشافعية حكمه حكم
الأجنبي ، إذ يحرم عليه النظر حتى إلى الوجه والكفين عند خوف الفتنة .
وقال الحنفية والشافعية :ظهورالمرأة بالزينة للصغير الذي لم يظهر على
عورات النساء ، والذي لا يعرف العورة من غير العورة لا بأس به لقوله
تعالى : { أو الطفل الذين لم يظهروا على عورات النساء } ، وأما الذي يعرف
التمييز بين العورة وغيرها وقارب الحلم فلا يجوز لها إبداء زينتها له

Fathwa, -

Question:
I think my brother is gay, and I say this because of the way he talks,
the way he does his hair, the kind of clothes that he wears and the
things that he is interested in. One time I used his USB and saw some
pornography on it, including anal intercourse, and I do not know
whether it was between two men, because I closed it quickly and erased
the file. I asked him about it and he said he did not know where it
came from, but in the end I found more in his room. I also checked his
personal computer and I found out that he visits gay websites in the
country where he is studying. My question is: do I have to advise him
and warn him about the bad consequences of this sin?
Answer:
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
Homosexuality, whether it is among men or women, is one of the most
abhorrent of immoral and evil actions that a person may commit, and is
one of the most shameful deeds in this world and in the hereafter. Ibn
al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said concerning the one who
commits this act that he has committed so great an evil that there is
no hope that he will ever be reformed after that; it takes away all
his good deeds and removes all modesty and shyness, because after that
he will not feel shy before Allah or before His creation.
Indeed, Allah, may He be exalted, destroyed an entire town along with
its people, namely the town of the people of Loot, because of this
immoral action. See the answers to questions no. 10050, 38662and
20068.
What you must do for your brother is tell him of the shame in this
world and in the Hereafter that results from this evil, that it will
ruin his spiritual and worldly interests, and that he will become
insignificant to Allah and to other people if he persists in it. Warn
him of the consequences and the shar'i ruling on the one who does
that.
Then you have to block every means that makes it easy for him to do
this immoral action or that calls him to it. If you can move him from
the place where he is studying, where he began to find out about these
homosexual websites, then you should do so. If he is under your
guardianship and you are responsible for him, then you should prevent
him from doing that by all possible means. You should remember that
you are responsible for him so long as he is under your care and
authority.
In fact, even if this sinner was not your brother or you did not have
any authority over him, your duty would still be to strive by all
possible means to remove this evil that you see and prevent him from
doing it, and to advise him for the sake of Allah and warn him of
Allah's punishment.
Muslim narrated in his Saheeh (70) that Abu Sa'eed al-Khudri (may
Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) say: "Whoever among you
sees an evil action, then let him change it with his hand [by taking
action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if
he cannot, then with his heart – and that is the weakest of faith."
See also the answers to questions no. 52893and 39357
Secondly:
These signs that you see in your brother's appearance, namely his
clothes and outward appearance, and the way he speaks, are all evil
actions that lead to homosexuality and immorality, even if you do not
know that your brother has committed that action. So how about if he
were to exhibit signs indicating that he has committed that action?
It was narrated that Ibn 'Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) cursed
effeminate men and masculinised women and said: "Expel them from your
houses."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5436
Al-Mubaarakfoori (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
That is, men who imitate women in appearance, clothing, using henna,
voice, speech and all their movements. Such actions are prohibited
because it comes under the heading of changing the creation of Allah.
An-Nawawi said:
Effeminate men are of two types. One type is those who were created
like that and are not trying to imitate the attitude of women and the
way they dress, speak and move. For such people, there is no blame,
sin, shame or punishment for them because they are excused.
The second type is those who deliberately imitate women in their
attitude and movements, and imitate the way they speak and dress.
These are the ones who the hadeeth says are cursed. End quote.
We ask Allah to make things easy for you and to set your brother's
affairs straight and help you to discipline him.
And Allah knows best.

Fathwa, -

Question:
I must say that I'm a revert, Alhamdullila, that I was raised as a
catholic and that I was very ungrateful to my Rabb before Islam. Since
I was a little kid I was mischievous and often committed sin. After
one particularly grave sin, and I asked Allah Subhana wa ta'ala (even
thought I was a kaaffir I prayed to Allah azza wa jalla and not Jesus,
peace be upon him) to have mercy on me, and I promised Him not to
marry if He forgave me. Now that I'm Muslim, Alhamdulillah, I protect
my chastity. I know the importance of marriage and the protection it
offers a sister, and I wish I could get married in the future to a
righteous brother (insha'Allah) so I could learn from him and also to
be a comfort for him. But I don't know if I'm excused of not
fulfilling my promise to Allah in this matter or if a woman who used
to be so wicked could aspire to marry a righteous man.
Answer:
Praise be to Allah.
The best thing we can do is start by focusing on the last part of your
question in this brief answer. That is where you wonder whether a
woman like you who had committed various kinds of sins and now wants
to marry a righteous man can do so. This is according to what you say.
We say to you that no one on the face of the earth can come between
you and sincere repentance to Allah, may He be glorified and exalted,
or prevent the mercy and forgiveness of Allah from reaching you, or
prevent His being pleased with the new direction you are taking.
Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, has told us in His holy Book
of everything that fills our hearts with reassurance and hope, as He
says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Say: O My slaves who have transgressed against themselves (by
committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah,
verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most
Merciful.
And turn in repentance and in obedience with true Faith (Islamic
Monotheism) to your Lord and submit to Him, (in Islam), before the
torment comes upon you, then you will not be helped.
And follow the best of that which is sent down to you from your Lord
(i.e. this Qur'an, do what it orders you to do and keep away from what
it forbids), before the torment comes on you suddenly while you
perceive not!
Lest a person should say: 'Alas, my grief that I was undutiful to
Allah (i.e. I have not done what Allah has ordered me to do), and I
was indeed among those who mocked (at the truth! i.e. La ilaha
ill-Allah (none has the right to be worshipped but Allah), the Quran,
and Muhammad SAW and at the faithful believers, etc.)'
Or (lest) he should say: 'If only Allah had guided me, I should indeed
have been among the Muttaqoon (pious and righteous persons).'
Or (lest) he should say when he sees the torment: 'If only I had
another chance (to return to the world) then I should indeed be among
the Muhsinoon (good-doers).'
Yes! Verily, there came to you My Aayaat (proofs, evidences, verses,
lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and you denied them, and were proud
and were among the disbelievers.
And on the Day of Resurrection you will see those who lied against
Allah (i.e. attributed to Him sons, partners, etc.) their faces will
be black. Is there not in Hell an abode for the arrogant ones?
And Allah will deliver those who are the Muttaqoon (pious) to their
places of success (Paradise). Evil shall touch them not, nor shall
they grieve.
Allah is the Creator of all things, and He is the Wakeel (Trustee,
Disposer of affairs, Guardian, etc.) over all things."
[az-Zumar 39:53-62].
And our noble Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) has
told us a hadeeth that every Muslim should memorise and keep in mind
so that he might live in contentment, turning to his most generous
Lord, may He be glorified. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah
be upon him) said: "Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, said: 'O
son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I
shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son
of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you
then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you and I would not
mind. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with an earthful of sins
earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I
would grant you forgiveness as great as it."
Narrated by at-Tirmidhi in as-Sunan, (3540. He said: (It is) hasan
ghareeb. It was classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh
at-Tirmidhi.
What we fear most for you is that the Shaytaan may try to remind you
of your past sins so that you might end up despairing of the mercy of
Allah, or that he might make you go back to that dark past.
Rather what you must do now is turn to your Lord, may He be glorified
and think positively of Him, with great hope of His bounty and
blessing to you. You should put the past behind you and enter the
world of Islam which encompasses lands and people with mercy and
compassion, as our Lord, may He be glorified and exalted, says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Allah wishes to make clear (what is lawful and what is unlawful) to
you, and to show you the ways of those before you, and accept your
repentance, and Allah is All-Knower, All-Wise.
Allah wishes to accept your repentance, but those who follow their
lusts, wish that you (believers) should deviate tremendously away from
the Right Path.
Allah wishes to lighten (the burden) for you; and man was created weak."
[an-Nisa' 4:26-28].
You should understand that by becoming Muslim and by leaving behind
the deeds of jaahiliyyah (ignorance) and shirk (associating partners
with Allah), by giving up the sins of the past and repenting to your
Lord, may He be glorified and exalted, you have turned over a new leaf
before your Lord. Islam (becoming Muslim) erases everything that came
before it; all you have to do is keep that new leaf or new page clean
and not go back to those sins that have caused you so much grief and
that you now regret.
One of the signs of Allah's mercy to us is that He does not accept any
pledge or promise from us that is contrary to His laws. Refraining
from getting married in an attempt to draw closer to Him is not an act
of obedience or worship; rather it is contrary to His laws. The
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) heard one of the
people say that he had chosen to be celibate and devote himself to
worship, and he had decided not to get married. But the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "By Allah, I am the
one who fears Allah the most among you and the one who the most aware
of Him, but I fast and I do not fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry
women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me. Narrated by
al-Bukhaari (5063), Muslim (1401). And it was narrated that Sa'd ibn
Abi Waqqaas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of
Allah (sa) forbade 'Uthmaan ibn Maz'oon be celibate; if he had given
him permission to do that, we would have gotten ourselves castrated.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5073). Ibn Hajar said: What is meant by
celibacy here is to cut oneself off from marriage and what it brings
of physical pleasure in order to focus on worship. End quote from Fath
al-Baari, 9/118
Your refraining from getting married in order to focus on worshipping
Allah, may He be exalted, is not part of the religion of Islam; rather
it is part of the religion of jaahiliyyah (ignorance), or it is one of
the things that were abrogated of the laws of previous nations. If a
person swears an oath or makes a promise to Allah, may He be glorified
and exalted, that he will refrain from getting married as a means of
drawing closer to Him, his oath is invalid and his promise is idle
speech that carries no weight, whether he swore that oath before
becoming Muslim or afterwards. The Prophet (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) said: "Whoever swears an oath to commit an act of
disobedience, that oath does not count." Narrated by Abu Dawood in
as-Sunan (2191); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
It was also narrated from 'Aa'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her)
that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
"Whoever makes a vow to do an act of obedience to Allah, let him do
it; whoever makes a vow to commit a sin Him, let him not do it."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6696).
We congratulate you on your becoming Muslim and we congratulate you
for having been guided to the straight path. We hope that you will
have a happy marriage to a righteous man, by Allah's leave. There is
no sin on you if you break the promise that you made to Allah, may He
be exalted, because it is a promise that is blameworthy in and of
itself, so you do not have to fulfil it; the expiation for that is
feeding ten poor persons, giving each one a meal based on the people's
staple food, or giving the equivalent value in cash.
And Allah knows best.