10 Facts about the Day of Jumu'ah

One of the blessings with which the Muslim nation has been endowed is
the day of Jumu'ah , or Friday . The Messenger of Allaah, , said: "The
best day the sun rises over is Friday; on it Allaah created Aadam. On
it, he was made to enter paradise, on it he was expelled from it, and
the Last Hour will take place on no other day than Friday." [Ahmad and
At-At-Tirmithi].
Imaam Ibn Katheer , said, "It was named Jumu'ah because it is derived
from the word Al-Jam' in Arabic which means to gather, as Muslims
gather on this day every week, and Allaah has commanded the believers
to gather for His worship, as He says that which means : } "O you who
believe! When the call is proclaimed for Jumu`ah (Friday prayer), come
fastto the remembrance of Allaah" { [Quran, 62: 9] meaning be keen to
go and attend it."
Here are some other virtues and facts about the Day of Jumu'ah :
· It includes the congregational Jumu'ah prayer, which is one of the
obligatory acts in Islam and one of the great gatherings of the
Muslims. Allah The Almighty will seal the heart of whoever abandons
and slights this, according to the Prophet , in a Hadeeth (narration)
in the book of Imaam Muslim .
· The day of Jumu'ah includes an hour during which all supplications
are accepted. Abu Hurayrah , narrated that the Messenger of Allaah ,
said: "On (the day of) Jumu'ah is an hour during which Allaahgives to
a Muslim servant standing in prayer whatever he asks for."
[Al-Bukhaari and Muslim].
· Giving in charity during this day is more virtuous than any other
day. Ka'b , narrated that the Messenger, , said: "Charity given during
theday of Jumu'ah is greater(in reward) than any other day."
· The believers will see their Lord from Paradise on that day. Anas
ibn Maalik, said regardingthe saying of Allaah The Almighty (which
means): } "And We have more (i.e. a glance at the All-Mighty)" {
[Quran, 50: 35] "Allaah will appear to them on the day of Jumu'ah."
· It is an 'Eed , i.e., a recurrent holiday and celebration. Ibn
'Abbaas , narrated that the Messenger of Allaah said: "Jumu'ah is a
day of celebration, so whoever attends it should performGhusl
(bathing) beforehand." [Ibn Maajah].
· It is a day on which sins are forgiven, as narrated by Salmaan who
narrated that the Prophet, said: "Any man who performs Ghusl on
Friday, perfumes himself if he has perfume, wears the best of his
clothes, then goes to the mosque and offers as many prayers as he
wishes while not harming anybody, then listens quietly while the Imaam
speaks until he offers the prayer, will have all his sins between that
Friday and the next forgiven." [Al-Bukhaari].
· When walking to attend the Friday sermon, a Muslim gets the reward
of both praying Qiyaam (i.e., the night prayer) and fasting a full
year. Aws ibn Aws narrated that the Prophet, , said: "Whoever performs
Ghusl on Friday after having sexual intercoursewith his wife, then
goes early to the mosque and attends from the beginning of the Khutbah
and draws near to the Imaam and listens to him attentively, Allaah
will give him the full reward of fasting all the days of a year and
observing night-vigil on each of its nights for every step that he
took towards the mosque." [Ibn Khuzaymah, Ahmad].
· Hell is fired-up during every day of the week except Friday, as a
mark of honour and respect for the day of Friday.
· Dying on Friday, during the day or night, is a signof a good end,
for the one who dies on that daywill be protected from the trial of
the grave (i.e.,Allaah The Almighty will enable such a person to be
steadfast during it). The Prophet, said: "AnyMuslim who dies during
the day or night of Fridaywill be protected by Allaah from the trial
of the grave." [At-Tirmithi and Ahmad].

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'You' and 'I': The Art of Communication in MaritalLife – II

There is a huge difference between a positive statement such as: "I
always look forwardto you returning home inthe evening to see you and
talk to you" , and a negative one such as: "You never care to listen
to me even when we meet in the evening."
The use of the pronoun"I" in conversation is more influential and more
effective than the use of the pronoun"you"; and "I" always reduces the
severity of what you want to say. Tryto compare the followingtwo
statements:
· "You don't care about the condition of the house" which is construed
by the listener to be an accusation of negligence.
· "I feel lonely when I am doing the housework", which means the wife
bears the responsibility for doing the housework even if she feels
lonely, and she does the housework alone.
Dear brothers and sisters:
When the spouses use the subjective pronoun "I" more often in their
dialogue, and include positive meanings in their words, their
relationship will improve immediately and noticeably, and they may
find solutions for their problems once they improve their manner of
conversation and dialogue.
It is true that it is not easy to start using the subjective pronoun
"I". This depends on the decision taken by each ofthe spouses to start
bearing responsibility fortheir feelings and needs, and expressing
themselves wisely. This requires the person to acquire a special skill
in the ability to talk about oneself.
The use of the subjective pronoun "I" means that one will no longer
use expressions such as: "You always…", "You never…","You make me
feel…", which will be replaced with such expressions as: "I feel… ",
"I wish…", "I do not want to...".
Three important words that help one acquire theskills of listening and
talking are: feelings, needs and wishes. These simple expressions: "I
feel" , "I need" , and "I wish" transmit to others what we like to say
about ourselves, and what we need from others to help us. For example,
we could say:
"I have been feeling so stressed out and tired lately."
"I need some rest."
"I wish you could understand what this means to me, so you could help
me find a way to rest."
What is more important is that a person speaks subjectively, and talks
about his own feelings briefly. It is difficult for some people to
acquire this skill; and they may need a lot of encouragement and
patience if they are slow in this respect.
In conclusion:
In this article, we have seen the means by which we can talk to each
othermore effectively. Thus, instead of blaming one another, by saying
"you" more than "I", it is important that one should talk positively
andsubjectively, i.e. about himself, by using the subjective pronoun
"I" more often. This helps us express our feelings, needs and wishes,
especially when learning the skills of listening and talking, and
keeping the channels of communication open with the other party.
Dear husband and wife,
The best way to practice the art of communicationis not to blame the
other by using "you", but instead, to try to use suchpositive words as
"I" to express our feelings, needs and wishes. An earnest attempt to
change what is said or done by the other party into something positive
can help one appreciate or, at least, understand them better.
For example, you could say, "I am sorry that things have been tough
and difficult for you lately", or you could interrupt the speech by
saying: "I can't express how happy I am that you are listening to me
like this! How comfortable this makes me feel!"
"I" is intended to express one's purpose:
We can express our purpose by using phrasesstarting with "I" such
as:"I want", "I mean", "I would like to", and "I intend to". When we
fail to express ourselves clearly, this failure leads to confusion and
ambiguity, for the other party would not understand our wishes and
purposes.
Choosing the right words:
Long-term relationships like marriage are characterized by habits that
may cause each of the spouses to be heedless of what they says to
their life partner, for each partner depends, in choosing words, on
habit rather than on conscious selection. Hence, words of
encouragement are lost and replaced with others that lead to tension
and discontentment.
The following are some of the negative frustrating expressions that
are often used: "You will never change" , "You're always cranky" ,
"You're wrong, and this is not the first time." We notice that "you"
is most often used to express negative words and emotions.
Examples of encouraging words and expressions are: "I love you" , "I
need you" , "I respect the way you handle matters. I likeit" , "Can I
help you?" We notice here that the word "I" is essential to
allpositive encouraging expressions.
Things to do:
1- Train yourself to use this manner of communication with your
husband this week, and remember to use "I" instead of "you", and use
your emotional intelligence in your reactions and dialogue with your
husband.
2- The use of "I" instead of "you" is one of the ways you can keep
communication open between you and your husband. It implies the
concept of bearing responsibility, and carriespositive meanings to
encourage the other party to continue with the dialogue.

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'You' and 'I': The Art of Communication in MaritalLife – I

He said he was coming inten minutes' time. Ten minutes pass, half an
hour, an hour, and then he shows up.
The wife: "You said ten minutes, and I have been waiting here for an hour."
The husband: "Forgive me, there was too much traffic."
The wife: "This is not the first time. That's the way you are; always
late. You should have called me."
The husband: "My phone is out of credit, and I have no credit to call."
The wife: "How can I trustyou? Do you think I am stupid and that all I
have to do is to wait for you?"
He looks at her in confusion and stops talking.
Dear husband and wife,
The husband started witha real excuse, then he chose to protect his
marital bond through silence.
Change the "you" into an"I":
The term "you" is nothing but a formula forfailure in
communicatingwith your husband. It means: "You are guilty and
responsible and you have to change. But I am not responsible."
"I" means that you are thinking in an attempt tointerpret the cause of
anger. In the above example, the wife is angry, not because the
husband is late but because she feels that she is not important to
him, which leads to frustration and then anger. This emotion builds up
as time passes, and as her attempt to interpret the cause of his delay
continues, it leads to other thoughts:
"He always neglects me."
"He gives no importance to me."
"His work is more important to him than me."
"He thinks I have no feelings."
Another emotion:
Why not express the reaction to the delay by using a different emotion?
Feeling sad because she is lonely?
Being afraid that he should be concerned with anything more than her?
Feeling guilty lest she may have done something which made him come home late?
Fearing that something bad might have happened to him?
Sometimes, she could be glad because she managed to be ready before his arrival.
So, when she meets him, she could say:
"I am sad that you came home late, because this means that I am not
important to you."
"If only you knew how afraid I was because you were late… I thought
something might have happened to you and I was so worried about you."
"If only you knew how eagerly I await you coming home!"
Then, watch him with his eyes sparkling, approaching you, trying to
prove the opposite of that. No man on earth can resist such a
reception. If the man were to know that he would be received in
thisway, surely, he would do his best to arrive as soon as possible
the next time. Conversely, if he knows there will be a dispute, he
will say to himself, "A quarrel is awaiting me anyway, whether I am
late for ten minutes or anhour."
In order not to aggravatethe situation, the husband could have said to
her when he arrived, "Iknow that you are upset because I am late and
that you have been waiting for me. I apologize."
If each of the spouses leaves the "you" formula,the dialogue will
remain open, otherwise, frustration will recur, giving room for anger
and resentment to accumulate, which makesany further communication
even more difficult.
"I" means that you should ask yourself: "Whyam I aggravated?" If you
know and address the real cause of aggravation, the pent-upfeelings
will not accumulate and the reaction will not be negative.
Men must realize that women naturally incline towards caring for
others, and devote themselves wholeheartedly to doing so. When a
woman's husband is late, she is concerned about that, and may become
tense, and her life and housework may come to a halt because she is
worried about him.
The wife should realize that saying "I" instead of"You", and
expressing herself using her emotional intelligence will go a long way
towards maintaining the channels of communication between her and her
husband, instead of silence and an end to dialogue.
Iblees and Aadam… I and you
Consider, dear reader, the difference between the speech of Iblees
(Satan), may Allaah curse him, and the speech of Aadam . In the Noble
Quran, Iblees says (what means): } "My Lord, because You have put mein
error { [Quran 15:39] i.e. 'You are the cause', Exalted and Hallowed
be Allaah The Almighty from what he says. On the other hand, Aadam
says: } "Our Lord, we have wronged ourselves { [Quran 7:23] it means
he holds himself responsiblefor the sin.

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Dought & clear - Her maternal uncle did her marriage contract in the presence of her brother without the knowledge of her fatherwho does not pray.

A young man proposed to a girl, but when the marriage contract was
done, the girl's father had a disagreement with his daughter's fiancé,
and refused to dothe marriage contract. But the girl, her mother and
her brother wanted the marriage to go ahead, so they left their house
and rented an apartment, and they left the father who refused to do
the marriage contract, and the marriage contract was done; the
maternal uncleof the girl was the one who acted as her guardian (wali)
in this marriage contract, in thepresence of her brother. They argued
that the father does not pray andthey did not want him tobe the wali
of his daughter. How valid is this marriage contract?
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
In order for the marriage contract to be valid, it is stipulated
thatit should be done by the woman's wali (guardian) or wakeel
(proxy), because of the hadeeth in which the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) said: "There is no marriage except with a
wali."
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2085; at-Tirmidhi, 1101; Ibn Maajah 1881 –
from the hadeeth of Abu Moosa al-Ash'ari; classed as saheeh by
al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi. He also said: "Any woman who gets
married without the permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid,
her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid."
Narrated by Ahmad, 24417; Abu Dawood, 2083; at-Tirmidhi, 1102; classed
as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami', 2709
The wali of the woman is her father, then his father (paternal
grandfather), then her son, then his son (this is if she has
children), thenher brother through her father and mother (full
brother); then her brother through her father only (half brother),
then their (brothers') sons, then the paternal uncles, thentheir sons,
then the paternal uncles of the father, then the ruler.
See al-Mughni, 9/355
Secondly:
With regard to the one who does not pray, if he does not pray at all,
thenhe is a kaafir according to the more correct of the two scholarly
opinions. See the answer to questions no. 2182 and 5208
Based on that, it is not valid for him to be a walifor marriage,
because the kaafir cannot be a wali in the marriage of aMuslim woman,
according to scholarly consensus.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: With regard tothe
kaafir, he has no wilaayah (guardianship)over a Muslim woman under any
circumstances, accordingto the consensus of the scholars, including
Maalik, ash-Shaafa'i, Abu'Ubayd and ashaab ar-ra'y. Ibn al-Mundhir
said: All of the scholars from whom we acquiredknowledge are
unanimously agreed on that.
End quote from al-Mughni, 9/377
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If he does
not pray, it is not permissible for him to do the marriage contractfor
any of his daughters. If he does so, then the marriage contract is
invalid, because one of the conditions of being the wali (guardian) of
a Muslim woman is that heshould be a Muslim.
End quote from Fataawa Noor 'ala ad-Darb
Thirdly:
If her brother was an adult of sound mind, then he is her wali. If he
appointed her maternal uncle to do the marriagecontract, then the
marriage is valid. However the maternal uncle is not one of the 'asbah
(male relatives onthe father's side), so he cannot be the wali in
thecase of marriage and his giving the woman in marriage is not valid
except in two cases:
(i) If the wali appointed him as his representative. If
he did not appoint him, but he was present when the marriage contract
was done and he approved of it, then perhaps this takes the place of
(explicit) appointment and permission, becausesilence in such a
situation constitutes approval.
(ii) if the marriage contract has been done and was
officially documented in a Muslim country that adopts the [scholarly]
view that it is permissible for the maternal uncle to give his
sister's daughter in marriage, or the view that it is permissible to
do the marriage contractwithout a wali, then the marriage contract is
valid, because the ruling of the judge in matters that are subject to
differences of scholarly opinion is to be implemented and not
annulled.And Allah knows best.

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Dought & clear - Who is most entitled to lead the funeral prayer over the deceased?.

If the deceased appointed someone to lead the funeral prayer for him
after his death, does he take precedenceover the imam of the mosque in
that case?
Praise be to Allah.
The one who is most entitled to lead the funeral prayer over the
deceased is the imam of the mosque, whether or not the deceased left
instructions that a particular person lead the funeral prayer over
him. If the imam of the mosque gives up that right and allows the one
whom the deceased had named to lead the prayer, there is nothing wrong
with that. But if he holds onto his right, then he has the right to do
so, because of the hadeeth of Abu Mas'ood al-Ansaari (may Allah be
pleased with him), in which it says: "…No man should lead another
manin prayer in his place of authority, or sit in his place of honour
in his house, without his permission."
It was narrated that Saalim ibn Abi Hafsah said: I heard Abu Haazim
say: I was present on theday al-Hasan ibn 'Ali died, and I saw
al-Husayn ibn 'Ali pokingSa'eed ibn al-'Aas in the shoulder and
saying: Go forward (to lead the prayer); were it not that it is
Sunnah, you would not be asked to go forward."
Saalim is da'eef (i.e., a weak narrator), but a similar report was
narrated by an-Nasaa'i and Ibn Maajah with another isnaad from
AbuHaazim. Ibn al-Mundhir said in al-Awsat: There is no hadeeth of a
higher category concerning thismatter apart from this, because the
funeral of al-Hasan was attended by a large number of theSahaabah and
others.
End quote from Talkheesal-Habeer, 2/88 by al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may
Allah have mercy on him).
It says in Fath al-Qadeer (2/117): The one who is most entitled to
lead the funeral prayer for the deceased is the ruler, if he is
present, because giving anyone else precedence over him is akind of
disrespect towards him. If he is not present, then the qaadi (judge)
should lead the prayer, because he is in a position of authority. Ifhe
is not present then the imam of the neighbourhood should lead the
prayer, because the deceased accepted him (as imam) when he was alive.
Next in order of preference comes the next of kin… End quote.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked:
If the deceased had left instructions that a particular person should
offer the funeral prayer for him, does this persontake precedence over
the regular imam?
He replied: The regular imam is more entitled to offer the funeral
prayer than the one whom the deceased had requested,because the
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "No man
should lead another man in prayer in his place of authority", and the
imam of the mosque is the person of authority in his mosque.
End quote from Majmoo'al-Fataawa, 13/137
And Allah knows best.

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Islamic Stories - The Story of Alqamah

At the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him), there was a young man
named Alqamah. Hewas very diligent in obeying Allah by engaging in
prayer and fasting and spending in charity. Then he fell ill and his
illness became serious. His wife went to the Prophet and said,"My
husband, Alqamah, is on his deathbed. I therefore came to tell you,
Messenger of Allah, about his condition." The Prophet (then) sent for
Ammar or Suhaib and Bilal, and told them to go to him (Alqamah) and
have him repeat theShahadah. Thereupon they went to him and found him
in the agony of death. They asked himto say, "La illaha illa Allah,"
but his tongue was unable to pronounce it. At that, they came and told
the Messenger of Allah that he was unable to repeat the Shahadah.
The Prophet asked, "Is either of his parents alive?" He was
told,"Messenger of Allah, his mother is, but she is veryold." The
Prophet sent her a message that if it was convenient for her (that is,
is she was able to go out), she should come to him; otherwise she
should stay in her house and the Prophet would come to her.
The Prophet's messengercame to her and informed her of the Prophet's
message. She said, "May my life be a ransom for him, it is my pleasure
to go to him!" She then stood up, leaning on her walking stick, and
came to the Prophet and greeted him. The Prophet returned her greeting
and said to her, "Umm Alqamah, tell me the truth, for otherwise Allah
Most High will reveal the truth to me! What is the situation
concerning your son, Alqamah?" She replied,"Messenger of Allah, he
prays much, fasts a greatdeal, and spends a great amount in charity."
The Prophet said, "And what about yourself?" She said, "Messenger of
Allah, I am angry with him." He said, "Why?" She replied, "Messenger
of Allah, he has preferred his wife to me and has disobeyed me." Then
Allah's Messenger said, "Umm Alqamah, surely your anger has prevented
Alqamah's tongue from pronouncing the Shahadah."
He then turned to Bilal and said, "Bilal, go out and collect a
quantity of firewood." She said,"Messenger of Allah, what do you plan
to do?" He replied, "I will burn him in front of your eyes." She
said,"Messenger of Allah, he is my son! My heart cannot bear your
burning him in front of me!" He said, "Umm Alqamah, Allah's punishment
is more severe and more lasting!Therefore, if you want Allah to
forgive him, be reconciled to him. By theOne in Whose Hand is mysoul,
the prayer, fasting, and spending in charity (which he has done) are
of no benefit to Alqamahas long as you are angry with him! Thereupon
she said, "Messenger of Allah, I call upon Allah Most High and His
angelsand the Muslims who arepresent to be my witnesses that I am
pleased with my son Alqamah." Allah's Messenger said, "Bilal, go to
him and see whether he is now able to say, "La illaha illa Allah" or
not. It may be that Umm Alqamah is saying something for mysake which
is not in her heart."
Thereupon Bilal went, and while entering the door he heard Alqamah
saying, "La illaha illa Allah." (Concerning this), Bilal remarked, "It
is surely true that while Alqamah's mother was angry with him his
tongue was tied, and now that she is pleased with him his tongue is
freed." Alqamah died thesame day. The Prophet came to him and gave the
order for his washing and shrouding, and then prayed the funeral
prayer for him and buried him. He then stood by the side of his grave
and said, "You company of Muhajireen and Helpers, if anyone favors his
wife over his mother, Allah and His angels and all the peoplecurse
him! Allah does notaccept his spending (in charity) and his
uprightness unless he repents toward Allah, the Glorious and Majestic,
and reconciles with her and attains her pleasure, because
Allah'spleasure consists in her pleasure and Allah's anger consists in
her anger."
Source: Reported in Tabarani and Ahmed.
We must always be respectful and obedient to our parents. However,we
are not to obey themif they order us to disobey Allah and His Prophet.
Other than this, they deserve our utmost attention and respect.

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Islamic Stories - A Home for a Home in Paradise

Abdullah ibn Jahsh (may Allah be pleased with him) was among those who
were the first to accept Islam. When the persecution of the Quraysh
got severe, the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)
gave permission for his companions to emigrate to Madinah. Emigrating
was not a new experience for Abdullah. He and some members of his
immediate family had migrated before to Abyssinia. This time, however,
his migration was on a far bigger scale. His family and relatives,
men, women and children, migrated with him. In fact, his whole clan
had become Muslims and accompanied him.
Abdullah's clan were not long gone when the alerted Quraysh leaders
came out and made the rounds of the districts in Makkah to find out
which Muslims had left and who had remained. Among these leaders were
Abu Jahl and Utbahibn Rabi'ah. Utbah looked at the houses of the Banu
Jahsh through which the dusty winds were blowing. He banged on the
doors and shouted: "The houses of the Banu Jahsh have become empty and
are weeping for its occupants." Abdullah bin Jahsh had the most
beautiful and expensive house. He sacrificed this house for the
pleasure of Allah. Seeing it abandoned, Abu Jahl entered the house and
took all its contents.
Later, when Abdullah ibnJahsh heard what Abu Jahl had done to his
house, he mentioned it to the Prophet, peace beupon him, who
said:"Aren't you satisfied, O Abdullah, with what Allah has given you
instead, a house in Paradise?"
"Yes, messenger of Allah," replied Abdullah. From that moment he never
had any regret forthat house and became completely satisfied withthe
beautiful palaces that are awaiting for him in Paradise.

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