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Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Islamic Articles, - * Why is Marriage Considered the Ultimate Security for Women ?

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“You’ll just turn into an old hag in your brother’s house.”
“The time that you’re desired for soon fades away with time.”
“People will picture with question marks at our young daughters for not getting married yet.”
Although you might just not be used to this statement, I am, just like the educated girls of mid-twenties, but still not married.
I still remember that I had the ‘big dream’ of studying at the topnotch college of the province after I passed my Matric exam. My dream turned into reality, and my parents were the ones who gave more light and water to the dream to make it come true.
In my area, the best education for girls is up to the level of the Matric or Intermediate level although I get the chance to exceed that, but this further education costs lots, starting from finance to security. The parents actually need to have the nerves and faith to send their daughters away, especially in a society like this where dignity begins and ends emphasizing on the girls’ issue. Basically, professional or educated women are looked at with the eye of less respect.
Gradually, I turned more confident, lively and determined along with being a graduate. My perspective took a positive picture with a ‘hungry ambition’ due to good education and teachers. A Chance for a vivid future is waiting for me, the dream that I and my parents saw together was to get a good job and acquire a scholarship for further education.
Alas, the hindrance is marriage proposals. Various suitors knocked for marriage, but I urged to take a little more time to complete education.
As parents get older, they get insecure and would force the girls to get married in an emotional way by showing ugly pictures of the outcome of a single woman along with mentioning the social tantrums. They try to convince that a girl’s ultimate job is to be a wife and mother instead of being professional or educated, they talk about how the society would start to think that there’s problem with the girl and education has spoiled her.
Soon, the girl gives up to the family’s wishes. I’ll start a new life as a married person and my ambitions and degrees will rot away in my home that I’ll leave behind. I’ll become everything but not what I desired to.
What is awful is that we can’t make our ways out of this typical social tantrums, we give up in the road to education, we think that one is secured only after being married.
Why don’t we trust the women’s ability to have their own identity from the professional aspect? Or why is someone just considered old at the age of 28 or 29 although both physically and biologically, she’s fine? We forget that education actually makes a woman better as both a wive and a mother.
Education doesn’t harm women or poison their minds. We should trust their visions, choices and judgments too.












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Regards;
NAJIMUDEEN M/
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Islamic Articles, - * When Is The Perfect Time For Marriage In Islam?

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Winter is here; so is the wedding season. Everyone, at some point in their lives, begins to worry about their marriage or that of their children. Sometimes, it totally depends on the education and employment of girls and boys after the completion of which people deem it to be the right time for marriage. In other cases, it totally depends on the will of the individuals whenever they are ready for it as maintained by their personal preferences. However, Islam has laid down some principles which define the right age and conditions for a person’s marriage.
The Prophet (SAW) says in a Hadith: “If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied comes to you, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be disorder in the earth and a great deal of evil.” (Tirmidhi)
Hence, it’s recommended in Islam to accept a proposal when the parents find it as per the aforementioned hadith once their daughters reach the right age.
Girl’s Permission:
“A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and enough permission for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness).” (Al-Bukhaari, Muslim)
The Right Wife:
For men, who are confused if a girl is right for them as their life partner or not, the Prophet (SAW) said, “The woman is married for four things: for her deen, for her beauty, for her family status, and for her wealth. Choosing the one with the deen, you will be safe.”
Therefore, the only important factor for a Muslim man to consider a woman for marriage should be the wife’s deen. That is, her etiquettes, beliefs and sanctity.
Allah has said in Quran that: “Bad women are for bad men and bad men are for bad women. And good women are for good men and good men are for good women.” (An-Nur 24:26)
This means that Allah is the guardian of the people who are morally good and He grants them with good life partners.
The Right Age:
There’s no definite age for marriage particularly mentioned in any authentic source. However from the following Ayah, it is confirmed that a girl can be married even before she has reached the age of puberty.
“And those of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the ‘Iddah (prescribed period), if you have doubt (about their periods), is three months; and for those who have no courses (i.e. they are still immature) their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is three months likewise” (At-Talaaq 65:4)
In this ayah, Allah mentions the period of Iddah that is made compulsory upon women after Divorce. A girl, even if she hasn’t reached the age of puberty is to exercise the period of Iddah. That means of course that a girl can marry before that age.
Hazrat Muhammad (SAW) married Hazrat Aishah (r.a.) when she wasn’t an adult. However, they consummated their marriage once she was capable of it and with their mutual decision. Hence, it’s compulsory for the consummation of marriage to attain the consent of wife and when she’s mature enough for it.
Many people think that the increasing divorce rate in couples these days is mainly because of the rising immature weddings, which is wrong. The lack of understanding and compromise and the incompatibility between two people are the major factors that lead them to separation. In Islam, the essentials to consider before getting a son or daughter married are mostly overlooked by the parents in our society. People tend to fall for the riches of a boy and the beauty of a girl, which is a big flaw of our community.















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Regards;
NAJIMUDEEN M/
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