The Family in Ramadan
Praise be to Allah.
It is one of the blessings of Allah to the Muslim that He enables him
to fast in Ramadaan and to spend its nights in prayer. It is a month
in which good deeds are multiplied and people are raised in status,
whenAllah frees some people from the Fire. So the Muslim should strive
to make the most of this month and the goodness it brings; he should
hasten to spend his life inworship. How many people have been deprived
of this month because of sickness, death or misguidance.
The Muslim must make the most of his time during this month; he hasan
unavoidable duty towards his children, to raise them well and
bringthem up properly, to urge them to do all kinds of goodness and
make them get used to that – because the child will grow up in the
manner to which his parents makes him get accustomed.
During these blessed days, the father and mother have a role to play
in making the most of this time, and we can offer parents the
following advice:
1 –Checking on the children's fasting and encouraging those who fall
short in this regard.
2 –Reminding them about the real nature of fasting, and that it is not
just giving up food and drink, but it is a means ofattaining taqwa
(piety), and that it is an opportunity for sins to beforgiven and
expiated.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allah (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) ascended the minbar
andsaid:"Ameen, Ameen, Ameen."It was said to him, "O Messenger of
Allah, why did you do that?" He said,"Jibreel said to me, 'May Allah
rubhis nose in the dust, that person who Ramadaan comes and his sins
are not forgiven,' and I said, 'Ameen'. Then he said, 'May Allah rub
his nose in the dust, that person who lives to see his parents grow
old, one or both of them, but he does not enter Paradise,' and I said,
'Ameen'. Then he said, 'May Allah rub hisnose in the dust, that person
in whose presence you are mentioned and he does not send blessings
upon you,' and I said, 'Ameen.'"
Narrated by Ibn Khuzaymah, 1888; al-Tirmidhi, 3545; Ahmad,7444; Ibn
Hibbaan, 908. See Saheeh al-Jaami', 3501.
3 –Teaching them the etiquette and rulings on eating, such as eating
with the right hand from what is directly in front of them; reminding
them that extravagance is haraam and is harmful tothe body.
4 –Not letting them spend too long on eatingiftaar so that they miss
praying Maghrib in congregation.
5 –Reminding them about the situation of thepoor and destitute who
cannot find even a mouthful of food to quench the fires of hunger;
reminding them of the situation of those who have migrated or are
fighting in jihad for the sake of Allah in all places.
6 –These gatherings offer an opportunity to bring relatives together
and uphold the ties of kinship. This custom still exists in some
countries, and it is an opportunity to reconcile and mend broken ties
between relatives.
7 –Helping the mother toprepare the food, and to clean up and keep the
food fit for eating.
8 –Reminding them to pray qiyaam (taraweeh) and to prepare for it by
not eating too much and to get ready in time to perform the prayer in
themosque.
9 –With regard to suhoor, the parents should remind the family of the
barakah (blessing) of suhoor and that it gives a person the strength
to fast.
10 –Allowing enough time before Fajr prayer so that those who have not
prayed Witr may do so, and so that those whohave delayed their prayer
until the end of the night may pray, and so that each person may make
du'aa' to his Lord as he wishes.
11 –Paying attention to praying Fajr on time in congregation in the
mosque, for those who are required to do so. Wehave seen many people
who wake up at the end of the night to eat, then they go back to bed
and neglect Fajr prayer.
12 –It was the practice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah
be upon him) in the last ten days of Ramadaan to stayup at night and
wake his family. This indicates thatthe family should pay attention to
making the most of this blessed time in doing things that are pleasing
to Allah, may He be glorified and exalted. So the husband should wake
his wife and children to do that whichwill bring them closer to their
Lord.
13 –There may be small children in the house who need to be encouraged
to fast, so the father should urge them to get up for suhoor, and
encourage them to fast by praising them and giving a reward to the one
who fasts the whole month or half of it, and so on.
It was narrated that al-Rubayyi' bint Mu'awwidh said: On the morning
of 'Ashoora' the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
sent word to the villages of the Ansaar saying,"Whoever started out
not fasting, let him not eat for the rest of theday, and whoever
startedthe day fasting, let him fast."She said: We used to fast and
make our children fast, [and take them to the mosques] and make toys
for them out of wool, then if one of them cried for food we would give
him that toy until iftaar.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1859; Muslim, 1136 – the words in square
brackets were narrated by Muslim.
Al-Nawawi said:
This hadeeth shows that we should train children to do acts of worship
andget them used to that, but they are not accountable. Al-Qaadi said:
It was narrated from 'Urwah that when they are able to fast it becomes
obligatory uponthem. This is a mistake which is disproven by thesaheeh
hadeeth,"The Pen is lifted from three: from the child until he reaches
adolescence…"And Allah knows best.
Sharh Muslim, 8/14
14 –If possible, the father and mother shouldtake the family for
'Umrah in Ramadaan, andthat is something that will benefit them in the
Hereafter, themselves and their family, for 'Umrah during Ramadaanhas
the same reward as Hajj. It is better to go at the beginning of
Ramadaan so as to avoid the crowds.
15 –The husband should not overburden his wife with more than she can
bear of having to prepare food and sweets.Many people take this month
to prepare fancy foods and drinks, and they go extremes in that. This
detracts from the sweetness of this month and goes against the reason
for fasting, which is to attain piety.
16 –The month of Ramadaan is the month of the Qur'aan, so we suggest
that each family gets together to read Qur'aan. The father should
teach his family torecite Qur'aan and help them to understand the
meanings of the verses. In the same gathering they may also read a
book about the rulings and etiquette of fasting. Allah has enabled
many scholars and seekers of knowledge to write books which can be
used for preaching and teaching during Ramadaan; the books aredivided
into thirty parts, so one topic can be read each day, and this will
benefit everyone.
17 –They should be encouraged to spend andcheck on their neighbours
and the needy.
It was narrated that Ibn 'Abbaas said: The Messenger of Allah (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) was the most generous of people,
and he was at hismost generous during Ramadaan when Jibreel met him.
He would meet him each night and revise the Qur'aan with him. The
Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was more
generous than the blowing wind.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6; Muslim, 2308.
18 –The parents should prevent their families and children from
staying up late at night and wasting their time inthings that are of
no benefit, let alone things that are haraam. For the devils among
mankind are more active in this month in promoting evil things and
acts of immorality to those who are fasting, during the nights of
Ramadaan and during the days.
19 –They should remember the family's meeting in Allah's Paradise in
the Hereafter,and the great joy of meeting there under the shade of
His throne. These blessed gatherings in this world and coming together
to obey Allah byseeking knowledge, fasting and praying are only the
means that lead to attaining that happiness.
'' Our Lord ! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter and save us from the torment of the Fire '' [Ameen]
-
{in Arab} :->
Rabbanaa aatinaa fid-dunyaa hasanatan wafil aakhirati hasanatan waqinaa 'athaaban-naar/-
(Surah Al-Baqarah ,verse 201)
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