Fathwa, - Instant messaging for marriage

Question:
I am searching for a wife online. SunniPath Q&A's seem to discourage
or even seem to hint at prohibiting instant messaging with a
prospective spouse. However, I can't seem to figure out how then email
or phone would be any different. Phone is also "instant", and when you
need to get to know someone then emails could be going back and forth
pretty quickly, such that it's almost like chatting, but only slower.
If 2 people are outgoing and talkative, then the risk of getting
informal on the phone would probably be just as high as through
instant messaging. Thus, I really don't believe that instant messaging
with a prospective spouse in itself would be haram, rather it would
depend on how you use it. Could you please confirm? When you need to
get to know someone, instant messaging would make things a lot more
quicker and perhaps effective than email.
Answer:
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Brother,
I pray this message reaches you in good health, lofty spirits, and strong iman.
Generally, it is improper to engage in conversation with an unrelated
member of the opposite sex without need. However, as indicated in
previous SunniPath answers, it is permitted to talk to a member of the
opposite sex when there is some purpose. Obviously, talking to someone
with the intention of getting to know that person for marriage is both
purposeful and permissible.
Please see Can I Talk To My Fiancé?and Instant messaging with the
opposite sex. Both of these answers address your question. Obviously,
if you are searching for a wife online, any communication with that
sister will be online. Nonetheless, whichever method you choose to
communicate, please be sure to mutually adhere to Islamic adab. One
usually knows when one has crossed those boundaries. If you have any
doubts, then that is a definite indication that you need to find a
better way to communicate. As a matter of caution, you should avoid
chatting in private, and, particularly, at night. It's very easy for
an ostensibly legitimate conversation to digress into gray areas.
I hope everything works out for you.
And Allah knows best.